106. Sneak Peek: Rivka Malka Pearlman

Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

 Hey, hey, everyone. We are actually not live, but welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. Today, I felt the need to record a short introduction to a conversation that I had with Rivka Malka Pearlman. Now, I want you to know how blessed I feel to have had her as a guest on my podcast, and I've had her in the past.

And I had her again this week. It was such a fascinating conversation. If you want to hear the full thing, you can go to Facebook and find it. We went live. You can go on YouTube and find it there. We went live. But really, it's going to drop in the podcast when it's scheduled to drop. Now, here's the thing.

When we were talking, it turns out that she has a program opening up next week and I felt called to  Chop that up and give you just like the most important juicy information about what she's up to Not because she asked me to because actually she has no idea I'm doing this But because I feel like if I had something opening up really soon and I actually spoke about it on a podcast I would want people to know about it and Once this thing drops, it's gonna be too late for you to sign up and I really want you to feel Excited and if this is the right thing for you go for it Go for it.

It's probably going to be incredible. Why am I saying this? Because I've known her for so long. I've been following her. I've seen her grow. I've seen her develop through all the different businesses that she was doing. All the different stages that she went through. And she's one of my inspirations.  So first of all, for her to be on my podcast feels like, oh my gosh, I made it and also I just want to help her back because I feel like she has so much to give.

She is such an amazing coach and person in general. Being in her world is phenomenal. And so I'm taking this moment to give you a little snippet of our conversation specifically when she started speaking about her program, and I hope that you enjoy it. By the way, listen up towards the end. She actually says something nice about me, which makes me feel so good. And it's it's just gonna be like that, you know, everybody has people they look up to and everybody has These moments where you give give give and then suddenly you receive and you're like, wow, it's so awesome so This has definitely been a blessing for me to be in this conversation And in this collaboration. I am getting nothing from talking about her program and sending you there, but I think that Once you realize who we're talking about and you are aware of the value that you're going to be getting, it's a no brainer.

So go listen, and then I'll be back to wrap it up.  Love you.

 I actually have a program coming up I would love to tell your listeners about.  Go for it.  So what happened with me is that I I have been blessed to do a lot of healing work with a lot of mentors. And all the time I teach students, I get the benefit and I'm changing and growing and changing and growing.

And then guess what  October 7th happened. And. Like you, like everybody, when that happened, everything changed for me, every single thing changed. And the way that I approached healing changed, the way that I approached God changed, and my heart changed, my neshama changed, I'm, I think this is the same for all of us. 

So right around that time, as I was doing Different types of work. Like I mentioned the archetypes was one of the types of work. Very interesting, new works, a lot, a lot of work with gratitude. I overheard this conversation between two teenage boys and this one boy, maybe he's around 20.  He had gone out on an excursion and an adventure to a bar from kid  and he said I, I want to check it out.

I like, what am I going to go when I'm 40 or never, like, I'm curious and I really want to see what it's like over there. So he went on a Saturday night and he spent some time at the bar, saw some people very interesting.  Next week. Which is when I  intersected with him, him and his friend were talking and he said, I really want to go back like twinkle, twinkle in the eye.

I want to go back.  And his friend  looks at him and says, the best version of yourself doesn't go to the bar.  And he said, Oh shoot,  like let's go for pizza.  I heard it.  My heart opened in a new, like a new door opened this longing,  the best version of myself,  like the, what if I had even more clarity on that?

What if I had a friend who could help hold me accountable? What if  I was vibing and living with it, like.  That inner joke. I call it an inner joke. It is a joke. Like the best version of myself doesn't do that doesn't mean I don't want to doesn't mean I'm not lazy doesn't mean, and then to celebrate it, you know, just celebrate the knock on to the bar, instead of it being like, Oh, I'm such a bad person I wanted to go or Oh shoot, it was just a moment that I watched that Hashem arranged for me that was.

Massive. So a bunch of things happened and I ended up creating the best version of yourself program. And it is starting on February 27th.  And the basic format is four months and each month we're going to be focusing on something else. And the first  month, we're going to be focusing on all this inner work, getting to know yourself.

The second month is getting connected to your body, your heart, your soul. Third month is relationships. Fourth month is life mission. But these are topics that I always used to teach on, but I feel, and you could tell me if you feel like this too. I feel like in this new era of be tough on trusting God,  it's a new type of healing.

It's what I'm calling happy healing. Healing doesn't have to hurt.  So this is the program and Each month it's going to have a live event, live online and live in New York, a live healing event because I want to have fun. The best version of myself is actually a very fun person and I lost her for a while and  she's making a comeback.

So if anyone would like to hear more about that, they can reach me at Rivka Malka. com and we're going to have a lot of fun  and  yeah, I'm  so happy. I'm so happy you love it. I, I see your smile. I see your radiance. I'm like, yes, everybody go sign up. I want to tap on what you said about, you know, healing, positive healing.

That's actually what I really leaned into very early on because I'm a very positive person. And one of my coaches was all into like, let's go into the shadow and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no, no, no, you know, I'm not doing that. I don't mind if things come up to me and I need to work on them and, you know, send them back with a happy heart, but I am not going down there.

I don't need to, right? There's a reason why they're in the basement. They're like, you know, God is keeping them nice and safe somewhere else. And so I,  Early on, positivity is one of my values, right? I'm very practical, I'm very integrated, and I'm very positive. And I love that we can really heal from a place of happiness and joy and abundance, right?

A lot of people are like, I have this belief that in order to connect to God, you have to lack, you have to connect to the, you know, pain, you have to something or rather it's like, what if we can just connect to God from this place of full hearted, amazing, you know, just  joy and.  I don't know, exuberance, like, just the ability to shine and let it take over.

Like, oh, that's big, right? That has been my mission. So, I'm, I'm loving it. I'm loving that because that's really the redemption. Redemption is leaning into the positivity, leaning into the light, leaning into the things that make you have fun, right? We lost, we all lost ourselves, like, no questions about it, and I love it that you're reconnecting to the best version of yourself.

Yeah, yeah, thank you for getting it. Yeah, I totally love it. And I think it's so awesome how God orchestrates things like that, or you can, you know, really listen in on what's going on behind the scenes of someone's life, and I'm really, really grateful for that friend. Who told him that very strong message, you know, if it would have been someone else, it would have gone completely differently.

So I think we all have to appreciate the people in our lives that are there for pushback, and a lot of times it's going to be your husband and someone who's close to you, it's going to be like, Oh, I don't know, that's not really the best version of you. And we have to be okay with that. We get to really receive that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I love what you're saying. Like bring it into regular life. And that's what got me excited. Like if someone criticizes you, or if you feel criticized by your husband.  It's a bad feeling,  but if you have it within your dialogue that we are all me and you, we both are into being the best version of ourselves, then it's a, it's a kind of a fun pump up, you know, not that you can be controlling about another person's decisions.

You got to be careful about that, but it's fun. I actually had a great experience. I was in the supermarket. And I was trying to go to the, you know, line that moves the fastest that the register person that moves the fastest and I was taking myself out of the car and I'm noticing, wow, it's going down the conveyor belt so fast.

So I look up at the cash register person and it is a young religious guy, which usually, not usually, it's not a Jewish person necessarily at the at the counter It's not usually, you know, it's just it was an unusual Employee and I said to him like you are really fast. He said wow. Thank you for noticing  I really try he said there's not that much that I can do when I'm  Doing this job.

It's not my favorite place to be that I landed up in this job, but I try to make myself challenges So I try to go as fast as I can So I was kind of sneaky, but I was like still delighting from these other teenage boys So I kind of tried it out and I said, oh so you're being the best version of yourself and he was like, yes  Oh my gosh It was so,  it landed so like, boom. It was a learning experience for me.

Cause what an incredible person this is that he didn't want to be in this job, but standing there in a way that nobody knew about, he was being the best version of himself, which was to do the job well, effectively and fast. It's a great inspiration for me. Yes. And it reinforced this idea. And very much, very much, I think of Joseph when I think of that, you know?

He ended up anywhere he,all of these jobs that I'm sure he was not looking to doing,  and being down in jail, and being up here, and being down there, like anywhere that G-d put him him, he was working to be his best self, and, and that's inspirational because how often do we just get to complain about, the situation?

Like, we are. Yeah. Fighting reality. It's not supposed to be this way, and what was God thinking and blah blah blah and we can really take it the extreme opposite of where this guy was and really imagine if you could just Be the best version of yourself right now and you're saying, these very Recent stories this morning. 

I had such a hard time with my kids going out of the house I just get out already, you know, I'm like, I don't want to wear shoes. I don't wear a coat You know all the things I'm just like, okay, so I'll hold your shoes and I'll hold your coat. We're just going right And then just,  and as I'm walking up, I was like, okay, this is where I need to be right now.

This is where I need to be right now. So what's the point of losing my patience? What's the point of, you know, and let me just give you the background story. Yesterday, I did lose my patience, so I didn't want to do that again, right? Because I already knew what it felt like, like I've already tried that, done that,  not really excited about it.

Let me see if I can try something else. And I realized. Yeah, it's so powerful to just be. I was like, okay, so I'll wait here by the tree Wow. And you guys will come and then I walk to the next tree and I am waiting for you. You know? And they're all walking really slow and walking on the rocks and taking their time.

Wow.  What if I could just be. Wow.  You were the best version of yourself today.  I tried . Amen.  I love, I love that. I love that. It's really nice and I like that there's accountability because like you said, having that friend tell you. Yeah, that's, that's very helpful and very powerful. Oh, yeah. I mean, the way that I think, I feel like we don't just need accountability and yes, yes to accountability, I'm not disagreeing with you, but to add on to that, I feel like work on ourselves is so important and so difficult  as you saw this morning that we need

an entire cheerleading team behind us. That's what I would want. Like my secret self would want, you know, like go. And I think, I know that there is a whole cheerleading team there just happened to be in the heavens. And anytime I overcome something  there, the whole team is like cheer, cheering me on.

It's just like, Abraham, Yitzchak, Yacov, Sarah, all the foremothers, all the forefathers, the whole, all the angels, they're like cheering. And at the same time, if I could replicate that down here, that there's a team of people, the other women that are in the program that actually care  that you were patient today.

It's like, you know, it's more fuel in your gas tank. And right now we need fuel every single day. So,  yeah, more people, more fuel. So it's exciting. Yeah.  Okay, great. So you guys go check out her program. If you want to contact me and my website, because the program's on a different website, but Rivkamalka.Com.

rivkamalka.com make sure you go check that out. If you'd like to check out my coaching connected for real.com/coaching, you can, you know, find out all the details there and schedule a free discovery call. It's really fun. We go really deep and we find the roadmap to where you wanna go, so I'm super excited about that.

Thank you so much for being here. This has been. It's such a fun conversation. I love that we can just go with the flow and see where it takes us.

Yeah, this was a good, this was a good plan to not have a plan. No, we had a plan. It just, we didn't, this is like how I look at recipes. I look it up and then I forget to look at it while I'm cooking. I'm like, Oh, that was a good cookies. I think that's what we did. We had a plan. We had a plan and then God led us to the actual plan, which is always the best way to do it.

So I say, if you're not having fun on my podcast and you're not doing it right. So I really hope you have a good time. Okay. I like that. I didn't realize that you're still doing one on one coaching because I'm more familiar with your podcast. So call out Kavod with that. If anyone is out here just listening in about marriage and you want that, then you have an address and that's not a small thing, Bat-Chen someone just.

actually emailed me, like, I don't know where to find marriage coaches. Like, who are they? Where are they? It's a small genre of people that are equipped and willing to get into the heart of marriage because it is so, so tender. So thank you. Yeah. And you know what I love, focused  my energy on marriage and business, that intersection, right?

Of how do you Have a really good marriage that supports you and your passion and your business and your, you know, going and your go getter ness, right and on the other side, like, how do you create a business that supports your life where you're not overworking and you're not burning out and you're not, just, Completely all over the place that intersection is so critical.

And when I started talking about it, I became the expert because no one else was like, there's not a single other person who's talking about that intersection, right? You have hundreds and thousands of women who. is so important to them that they're not willing to go out of their way to shine because they don't want to pay a price with their marriage, right?

And so they're holding themselves back. And that's a really bad recipe for disaster because then you're just feeling deprived of shining. Right? Like you can't do that to yourself for too long. Right? And I found that. You're either using your marriage as an excuse not to grow your business, or using your business as an escape because you don't feel as comfortable in your marriage.

And both those things are not where you want to be, right? And anytime you feel that your marriage and your business are pulling you apart, you know you need to realign. You know that you need to get them all back. Gather the troops, let's move it up,  really align because There is a lack of alignment there and that's, that's what I love to, to focus on.

So definitely, you know, I have four pillars. You guys know that from the podcast, God, marriage, business, and you, and people come to me for all four pillars. So either God baggage. You know, when it comes to, you should've known better, this marriage is not the marriage I was supposed to go into,  or what were you thinking about this?

A lot of God baggage is behind that. Marriage obviously, right? And then business.  How to streamline, how to systemize, how to make it work, because I am not naturally Good at it, right? I thought I was not consistent, I thought I wasn't organized, but I found what works for me, and I'm able to teach that to my students and my, and my, my people, my friends, and that's, that's fascinating, and then you as your whole self, how do you expand your vessel?

How do you make more space so that you don't have to put anything down and take anything off your plate, but just create more space, get a bigger plate. Just allow yourself to have it all. And No, not, you know, without having to pay a price with anything, because God doesn't want you to pay a price.

Really, ideally, if everything is for God's sake, then there is no reason why you need to pay a price.  Yeah. Because God wants you to do it all. Yes, we can be in balance and harmony and do the things we're meant to do and it can be enjoyable. Works, but enjoyable. Yeah,  and I love that. You just gave me like, Oh, that feels so nice.

Yeah. Rivka Malka says you should work with me. For sure. It's your, it's it's your gift. You worked hard for this gift. And I really believe in coaching. I think it's like one of the most powerful gifts out there. So if you're doing this and you get this terrain of marriage and  then like, yeah. I say go work with Bat-Chen.

Yes, go work with me. Yay! .

Oh my goodness, did you catch that? That was so fun. First of all, that is just a little snippet from the end of our conversation. The entire conversation is so juicy, but just being able to hear those words from her, that she believes in the coaching and she sees my journey and what I'm doing and what I'm up to.

It just feels so good to get that little tap on the shoulder like, yeah, you're doing great. So I'm very, very grateful. And I'm very, very thankful first of all, for Rivka Malka that she was willing to come onto my podcast and be in this space with me. It feels really, really nice.

And also, for believing in me, for seeing the value for all the things that she does naturally, she just is so cool at seeing people beyond what we see in ourselves. So I think that's incredible.  Okay, so I'm going to send you off on your way now. I do want to invite you to work with me.

If you do feel called, please go to connectedforreal. com slash coaching and There's a little button there that says schedule a deep dive discovery call. That is a free call that you get in order to really go deep, find what is happening, what's going on, collect all of the puzzle pieces. Putting it together and then creating a roadmap.

So the call itself is super valuable. And I invite you to allow yourself to go dig deeper and find what God really wants from you and then get on your way.  Great. I love you all. Don't forget to be connected for real. And I will see you next time.

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Rebbetzin Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.