120. Free Yourself From Business Burnout

And we are live.  Welcome everyone to the connected for real podcast. I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman and I'm a marriage coach for women in business. And that means I love that intersection between your marriage and your business and how you bring God into it and how you take care of yourself and all of that amazing stuff.

And as you know, I have the four pillars, God, marriage, business, you, And our podcast is following those four pillars with every single topic. Today's topic is freedom. And when I picked freedom and business, I thought, who better to speak about this than Beverly Chimes. So Beverly, introduce yourself and then we'll get right into it. 

Thank you so much. I'm really happy to be here today.  I am a life coach and a social worker, and I work with professional women to prioritize their well being.  So that they can make the impact that they really want to make I love it. I love it and You know I was just telling you  behind the scenes that when I pick these topics I sometimes have to  double take and be like, what does that even mean?

You know How do we bring freedom into our business? How do we bring freedom into our marriage? How do we bring freedom, you know into our relationship with god? And I think that It's fascinating to see where every person takes it and what freedom means to you. So let's start with that. What does freedom mean? To me

freedom means the ability to prioritize and choose.  So if I'm free, then I am allowing myself to make decisions and put things in places that I want them to be.  And I'm free to make choices. And I'm free to choose when to be busy and when to not be busy. That to me is freedom.  Yes. I love that. I think I call it intentionality, you know, when I'm able to be intentional about the things I want, and then I can choose and design my own day, my own life, all these different things, as much as we don't have that much control over a lot of things in life, there's a lot that we do control.

And that has to do with. Staying conscious and being intentional about what we're doing. So let's talk about business You know business has a lot of pitfalls here because a lot of people think that you know You go into business so that you can be free. There was once a  Really funny reel that I watched On Instagram.

And it was you know, it was like a sound that was going viral. It was like, I started my business so I can get out of the nine to five. Now I work 24 seven, you know? And so I think a lot of us start our businesses so that we can achieve certain goals and have a little bit more freedom and maybe, you know, mothers be more with their kids, more with your husband, more, you know, have a life type of thing. Have more flexibility.  Exactly. And then we fall into this rhythm and routine and almost like a rabbit hole. But I have to work, you know, and  like, where is the freedom? So let's talk about that. Yeah. So  the urgent will always get the attention that it wants and that it needs. But the important We have to make time for. 

So when emergencies are coming up or deadlines are coming up, or there's something that has to be completed, that's always going to take the priority  in that moment.  But in order to really have freedom within the business,  it's about, as you said, being intentional and choosing what's important  and making sure those things get their place. 

So how do we even do that?  Because urgent's always catching us.  And I think that's where pacing and boundaries come in.   There needs to be a boundary of now I'm at work and there needs to be a boundary of now I'm not at work,  I'm at home  or else.  We're always at home and we're always at work,  especially if you work from home, which is a  Wonderful recipe  for you know going crazy because on one hand I'm at work So I might as well like sweep up while I'm here or put away the things or you know Just empty the dishwasher.

Let me just put in a wash and let me just  Just  Just gonna  I did that, you know, half on purpose, because it just feels like that. It feels like we're just  . Mm-Hmm. . And, and then when we're with the kids, I'm just gonna check my mail. I'm just going to look to see if my WhatsApp, you know, dinged. I'm just going to see if I got paid.

I'm just going to just, just, just, and again our brain is making that, these little things that don't really matter, but really I could do them time. And in reality, this is where we fall. Yeah, a  hundred percent. I mean, I know growing up, business is closed at 5 p. m.  Like everything's shifted. The world just goes much longer.

Like supermarkets are open longer than a supermarket ever was in South Africa. Like. The day has stretched.  So  it's up to each of us to come and put our own boundaries and go like, okay, my work day is until this time, or I'm taking a break from this time to this time. And then I'll check for another half an hour,  whatever, however your own business works for you.

But unless we are intentional and say, these are my work times and then I'm done.  And these are my home times, my family times, my marriage time, my me time.  It's just all a mushkababble, and it's like one day rolls into the other, and there's no boundaries, and there's no demarcating of  importance. It just all rolls. 

And then, we turn around, we're like, I did nothing. I did nothing all day. And it's obviously not true because you did a lot of things, but all of those things were thrown at you as opposed to you  making a decision and wanting.  That's why when it's urgent, it demands attention  and that's it.

Everything else goes by the wayside.  So how do we deal with these urgent things so that we can have freedom? So I think we have to ask ourselves how urgent, urgent really is. Like, as much as we would want to do something in this moment right now, does it have to be done now? Is that really true, that this has to take full priority right now? 

I'm not always convinced that the answer is yes.  There's a drive to want to do it. There's a drive to want to clean up, fix up meet the demands.  But I don't know if that is a requirement or we've made it a requirement.  I think it's also, you know, the The gamification and, you know, all of the  ways that we've been sort of programmed to react to these things.

Right? Like there's a ding on your phone.  You have to look  turn off the ding   go. I remember when we were sitting down to eat and the phone would ring, my parents would not answer it. And there was, and those were the days where there was no idea who was calling because you didn't have that such a thing caller ID.

You could never get back to them unless they called back and it still, it was such a strong boundary. It was like, we're eating right now as a family, we are not answering the phone. And. Then I met people who answered the phone while they were eating. And I thought, this is the strangest thing in the world.

And of course, what do I do?  Not only do I answer the phone, I react to every little thing that happens because you know, that's the way that, that life has taken us. No one ever called anyone in South Africa past 8 45 at night. If you did, someone had died. Like there was a crisis. There was a car accident.

Someone was in hospital. Someone was dead. Like that was the only reason the phone rang past 8 45. And then it kind of moved to like nine 30, but. Maximum. Like we have no maximum.  I open WhatsApp to go and send a message and there's like a whole lot of WhatsApp. So I worked through them. I go out of WhatsApp and I forgot what I even went in there to do.

Yep. Yeah. I think you've read my mind. 

You know, I'm like, Oh, I just need to, you know, send this one message to someone and I opened it up and then I totally forgot why I opened it up because  just parted with everything, right? Yeah.  Much so much. And we're dealing with all of that muchness. Thank God from a place of abundance, like we're in a world where you can do everything all the time, anywhere, anything.

And now there are no external boundaries. Like you say, you know, you, nobody was calling after 835 or 930 here in Israel. Nobody was bothering you between two and four. There was nobody knocking on your door, calling you like it was just a  no, no noise zone. Right. And like,  old fashioned. If you still expect there to be quiet between two and four,  it's just impossible.

And I think myself, the external boundaries are gone. The social acceptance boundaries are gone. So how do we bring those back into our lives? intentionally. How do we create boundaries that work for us and our families and then not feel so guilty and ashamed about them? Because it's really uncomfortable to say, like, don't call me past nine or don't call me past 10  or whatever.

You just have to not answer. It's not about putting it onto the outside world.  Firstly, it's about prioritizing.  Like what is my priority? So maybe during the day my priority from  nine till whatever I'm thinking of getting kids out. I'm thinking of I don't have to get kids out. Like what are my work hours? 

And what do I want to accomplish during those work hours?  And then if we even focus on that, it goes like what support do I need during those work hours?  To get somebody else to be doing some of the stuff that I'm doing,  I said with my clients, we take like a yellow marker and a purple marker. We write down every single thing that they have to do. 

And we can take a purple marker and just see like what really could be done by someone else.  There's a side of us that wants to accomplish everything right now in the best way, as fast as possible by me.  And does it really have to all be you? What if you brought some support, some Support person in. What if you found someone to  give some of the work to  it's a trust issue and it's also a money issue and it's also like a  what would happen if I am not doing it?

Will it be done well enough? So I often encourage my clients to say like, what does not need to be done by you and then who needs to be doing it?

Because we're not  the be all and end all of everything. So  let's stop, let's take a breath, let's take a moment, let's find the right person for that kind of activity.  Yeah, I once heard  one of the big business gurus say that if somebody else can do it 80 percent as well, give it to them. I like that. 

You know, just 80 percent if they could get a B plus just move on, you know, it's not even it's not even worth you doing. And  It was very hard for me to get an assistant. I'm going to be completely honest with you. Like that transition from doing it all to having some support is  so scary. And yet. Oh, cool.

Like as soon as you cross over, you're like, wow.   Oh, liberating.  Yeah. How did I ever function without an assistant? This is amazing. I love her,  and I, I know the hardship of having to let go and be like, Oh,  I want to give her because all these things I have to do myself. And then as soon as she shows up and you start to trust her and see that she can actually do what she says she can do.

And then you start giving her more and more things and you're like, wow. Wow. You know, and then it becomes a game of like, what else can I give her? You know? And, and of course I, I asked her before if she wants more work or if whatever, but like, he's such a life changer. And what does it free you up for? 

To be myself.  Yeah. Yeah.  I mean, look at me. I'm doing the thing that I do best and she does the thing that she does best and together we can make, you know, exponential of, of what impact we would have made just individually.  For sure.  When it comes to anything to do with a website.  I drew a boundary for myself after I spent like days and days and days working on something and I looked at it and I'm like, I bet you a 10 year old could make it look better.

It's awful.  And I'm like, this is not  my zone of genius. This is not where I should be putting my hours and I'm pulling my hair out and I want to cry and I'm so frustrated and I have my wonderful website person and she does it like with a flourish. Like she's got a little wand.  And she loves what she's doing.

And I'm like, yeah, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. And  I'm freed up because not only would I be tied down by the hours, but the anguish that that work  causes in me. It's just it's pure frustration,  right?  Yeah. So it costs me even more than the time. It costs me my well being. It costs me so much.

And also the self identity thing. It's like, I'm not good at this and I just proved it to myself and I am suffering through it. And the result isn't even good enough to be able to use. So  what was the point, right? And all of that is such a, it's, it's a drain. It really is.

It's a huge drain. So the first piece is really picking priorities and saying who else can do this, whatever  this is for you. And that really means building a team you can trust, whether it's an actual team in your employment or  just different services that are available.

Like really thinking bigger than a one person show and saying, what resources do I need? And being willing to try those resources. And I think  for me, one of the biggest things is demarcating time. I usually have a lunch break.  I try to sit outside when the weather's good, take my salad, make a salad, take a salad, go sit outside. 

And it's like, this is my lunchtime, and I'm not checking WhatsApps, and maybe I'll be listening to a podcast I want to listen to, or maybe I'm just like, watching  the buses go by and the birds flying by. But even during a work block,  it can't be that it's like an 8 hour work block with no breaks. That isn't a good way to be living life.

That's like trying to run a marathon in the  way you run a sprint.  But a sprint isn't meant to be the length of a marathon. And we've got day after day after day. We're running a marathon. We can't be sprinting through it.  So it's really introducing strategies that take three, five minutes. to empty out, quieten down,  chill a bit,  could be sitting in a park, could be going for a five minute walk, could be chatting on the phone to someone you really wanted to chat to,  with no multitasking at the same time.

Like the idea of multitasking is we can do a whole lot of things right now and I think we can do none of them well because we're not fully present in any of them.  So it's really taking the stress down and taking the noise down. And finding those little pockets of quiet,  of, I don't know, pet your dog, weed your plant. 

Just little pockets during the day.  We often have breaks between things.  Most of us, unfortunately, go, as one person I heard likes to call it, doom scrolling.  And instead of taking that moment to, chill, empty out, or rejuvenate, we've added more stress, thinking we're taking time out. But we're not. So we think we're giving ourselves a free moment, but we're  adding on to the stress, especially now. 

Yeah. You know, my husband used to say, I used to sit on the couch and, take a break and then, you know, scroll my phone, Instagram, whatever it was. And he said, you are lying to yourself that you're resting. If you really want to rest,  go in the middle of the day, put on your pajamas, get into bed, give yourself a 20 minute nap, then come out and see how rested you are.

And he's right is so powerful to let go of all of that noise and just be even, you know, sometimes If I already have my phone in my hand and I know I want to rest, I'll turn on one of the meditations from my meditation library and I'll listen to myself giving a meditation and I do it and I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is so good.

You know, and it's funny. Yes. And  It's amazing because here I am. I'm creating it for other people. Other people are using them all the time and I'm not even leaning on to the things that I have available to me. It is crazy, you know, and so I, and my husband reminds me, you used to crochet between things and you used to have watercolor paintings or just regular color pencils and a sketchbook, like between things.

I used to actually do things that filled me up and the phone sort of killed that, you know? So first of all, I love that your phone doesn't ding. I think that's inspirational on many levels.   And I also I've used a lot of the features that the phone itself has, like my phone just puts itself to sleep at 10 PM and doesn't wake up at seven.

It's great because my kids wake up at six 30 and they go to the phone and they try to turn it on and it's, it's gray, it's dead, it's not working and there's nothing you can do. You just gotta wait, you know? And so until 7am there's no phone. I'm sorry, there just isn't. And for me,  there's no phone  for the 10 o'clock is amazing because it won't ring, it won't ding, it won't let me be on anything.

It just shuts me off. Like I could be talking to my mother and then suddenly 10 o'clock and it's like, boop, phone died, you know? And, and now my mother knows already, you know, she's in America. I mean, he knows it all. So the time difference is weird, but. She just knows that, okay, the phone died. That's it.

It's over. You know, conversation ended. That is fantastic. Love that. Can't you override it?  Of course you can, but I challenged myself not to. Okay.  You know, there's a way to override it for one minute for 15 minutes and for the whole night. So sometimes I'll override it just for a minute to send a, like, I'm okay.

Phone died, you know, good night type of message. And I only have a minute. So I gotta do it really quick. Sometimes I'll override it for 15 minutes just to give myself like that. Ah, I forgot to do one thing, whatever, but it shuts itself off again. I really, really, very, very  rarely. Almost never will override it for the whole night.

There was one time, you know, in the beginning of the war when I did, but, oh, you know, as a rule, I try not to override it. Also on Instagram, I have on my Instagram, I have a timer that goes off and says, you've been on Instagram for 15 minutes. What do you want to do now?  And it's like, really, really? That much time passed? And sometimes my kids are watching over my shoulder and I think to myself, can you imagine if I just override it and keep going?

What am I teaching them? Yeah. What am I teaching them? I'm teaching them that you can't trust yourself. So I'm like, no, no, no.  I put that in. So, cause I want it and I say not now. And I go bye bye and I close Instagram for the day and that's it. And by the way, it's 50 minutes for the whole day. So I'm  very careful. 

I got to really be intentional here, but these are little things that, you know, you have them built into your phone. Utilize them. Really, they're for you to enjoy, right? Anytime I'm on my calendar, anytime I have a meeting on my calendar, my phone knows I'm working. So it will only let certain things come through and it won't let other things come through.

And it's so helpful.  Great. Correct. It's not like you really use those filters as well.  I try.  Wow.  That's impressive. I try. You know why? Because like you were saying, I know my nature.  I know that I will look at everything. I know that I will be distracted by everything. I think it's what, how the phone is designed.

It's designed  to call us back.  Yes. But I think some people are more pulled towards things than others. You know, just like those people who are like really into chocolate and coffee and like, Oh, I can't live without it. And some people are like, yeah, whatever. I'll eat a piece. And then it doesn't really move me.

Yeah. There's just a natural thing that I know I have, which is like, I like, I like scrolling. I like spending time. I like looking, I like checking out, you know? And so I have to really be intentional about it. And I catch myself a lot and, I surround myself with people who I want to. Make sure are intentional too.

Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about delegation. There's this one thing that's screaming at me. One of my clients had the hardest time getting cleaning help because  it's.  Not something I want to do. So why would she want to do it? You know, like, Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. Like she says it's so demeaning. I don't want to clean my toilets, but I have to anyway, because they're mine.

Why would I hire someone to do it for me? If I don't want to do it. And I was like,  where's that coming from?  Exactly. And isn't it funny? I told her some people are so lit up by cleaning things and making them look perfect. It makes them live, you know,  make them happy.  Take a wreck and turn it into this shining organized thing. 

Yes, and they're making money You know like give her money and  it's she's not doing you a favor. She's doing it because he's happy to do it It's not she wouldn't be ironically Being demeaning that would be stopping her I'm really willing to go forward with it,  right? I mean, at the end she ended up hiring someone and it was really cute to see the transformation that she went through.

But it was ironically, she works in tech and she sets up all the behind the scenes of all these tech things. And I said to her, why would I hire you? I hate tech. Right. If I hate tech, then why would I want you to do something that's so hateful, like, you know, icky and, and gross and just, and just like, oh, but that's why you need me because I love tech and blah, blah, blah.

And just like, oh, great. It's the same thing, you know? Different people are lit up by different things. And that's why we need each other.  I say let people who are offering their services, like, you know, people are actually putting themselves out there saying, I want to take this off your plate. Let them trust them. 

Yeah. Check out their reputation and then trust them. Right. Yeah, I think it's amazing. And there was one more thing that was sitting on my mind, but now I can't remember it. So let's go back to the freedom and the business and how to create that.  So I like to remember that when we say yes to something, we're saying no to something else.

So if we're saying yes to working at night, what are we saying no to

saying no to the family? We're saying no to the marriage in that moment. We're saying no to ourselves.  If there's a yes, then there's a consequent no also.  Right. And I like seeing it like that because if we're just saying yes, we're just plugged into what we're accomplishing, not necessarily what it's costing.

Yeah. And you know, you're saying every yes comes with a no, it's almost like the two sides of the same coin. And so I want to also, turn that around and say, every no comes with a yes. So boundaries are a lot of no's. No, I don't do that or no, it's not working in my big scheme of things, right. This minute in the season of my life or in the season of my business, you're saying yes to the bigger things. You're saying yes to the other things that really matter to you. So that's really a good point.  And personally, I choose to work at night because then I can have, you know, a lot more time with my kids when it's daytime. 

And I think that it's really fun to know that, there are no rules.  And there is no one way to do something right. You have to figure out what works for you, which is just so crucial.  The only rules there are, are the rules you create for yourself, for your individual circumstances  and doing what's right for you and your husband and your family and your business is your, it's what you discern to be right. 

Right. There's no universal right. Yes.  There is no universal right. I love that you say, you know, your rules. One of the things that really helped me, I heard in one of the podcasts was it's really hard for us to constantly decide that this is a boundary or to decide that this I'm going to say no to this or yes to this, whatever,  if you make a rule.

Then you can say, Oh, I have a rule that I don't do this. And it's almost like an external thing that you've created, even though you created it, right? So it's like, Oh, I have a rule  that I don't take clients after 9 PM or whatever, you know, I don't start on anything after nine because I know it's going to take me into.

After 10, right? So  I'm saying something like that. It's like, I've decided something ahead of time and now I don't have to think about it anymore. That's freedom.  Totally. I'm thinking of people that I've spoken to, like being on family trips and they still are responsible for their business. And they're like often the bathroom checking their email.

I got to go to the bathroom, except she has to go to like the bathroom every few minutes  and without boundaries. It's just, you're always on. You're always on and you're always disappointing yourself  because you're never fully present anywhere.  Just always pulled.  Yeah. That's where the overwhelm comes in.

It feels so overwhelming  because it's no longer you making the decisions about your business, about your life, about what you want to do right now. It's you reacting to everything that's happening around you. And at that point. There is no freedom in anything that you're doing. You're reactive.  And the enjoyment is so much less than the overwhelm and the stress is so much more.

So like, perhaps you went into this because it's a passion of yours, but with the amount of stress and overwhelm with the lack of boundaries, it just becomes  like a real drain and a strain, which is not what you're wanting. And then the whole creative side crashes when you're under a lot of strain.  So the, just not creating the boundaries has so many repercussions.

Yeah. And I think what you just said now is so powerful that we have to double tap on this.  Your creativity is what runs your business, right? Your ability to think on your feet and to really think outside the box and to do the things the way, you know, work really, really well.  If that diminishes and that is so run down that it's not present.

You're now just a worker  in a business, right? Like it happens in your business, but you're just the working, working B. Like you're not actually being the business owner, the CEO, the leader, the person who is leading this thing. Yeah. You've given away your power. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And, and  then the stress just goes up even more  like a real cash 22, right?

How can a person who is finding themselves extremely overwhelmed with work, with life, with everything just feeling like a big smushy mush of time management and boundaries and lack of clarity, what do you do when you feel that way?  Everybody's going to feel it. Totally normal. Okay. We're all human.

You're going to feel that. But then what do we do? How do you get out of the loop? How do you break that rhythm?  So I think it's really good that you said everyone's going to feel it because we're not looking to build a utopia where no one's ever stressed or no one's ever feeling pressurized.

That isn't realistic.  But we're looking for like,  what are you spending most of your time? Are you spending most of your time stressed and overwhelmed or not? So  if it's the most of the time, then we really want to take action. If it's some of the time, well, that's life.  So there's a few different approaches.

The one thing that we've spoken about is priorities and boundaries and moments of  stress relief.  I really look at the bigger picture. The longer term picture is  building a life that has space. and that brings joy. Now, does that mean we have joy in every single moment of our lives? No,  but it's an overall picture.

So  if you love to dance, make sure you're going to a dance class once a week.  If you love to write,  make sure you've got  a writing block, 15 minutes, twice a week.  It's bringing in joy into your life, and then your life becomes more these pockets of joy amongst all the other things you're doing.

So

it's very hard to introduce the pockets of joy and the moments of relief  just by the by. Like it has to be intentional. So it's like booking in for that class and making it a non negotiable. It's setting up, a coffee date and making it non negotiable. It's whatever these things are  that just bring you joy.

And, and it's not like a six day holiday in the Caribbean islands, like it's something that can be in your life, in your world, as opposed to  Oh, I have to get out of here. I have to go away for six days or three weeks or two months before I can relax.  Right.  I love that.

I think that what you're saying also is know what type of accountability you need. If something is just written down in your calendar, but it just sort of blows by because you don't really give it  any thought raising hand here,  then you have to make sure that you have the right accountability.

So, you know, I go to a yoga class every single Sunday morning and my husband says, what's the point? Just turn on a yoga video and do it at home.  I'm not gonna.  No way.  Not only that, I may start the video, but as soon as it gets annoying or hard or uncomfortable or anything, I'll just be like, whatever. I could shut it. 

And when it gets uncomfortable in the yoga studio. And I'm actually with all these people around, I have to figure out an alternative way to do the stretch without looking like I am giving up. Right. So it forces me to like, stay with it, stay in the game, don't give up. And even if I'm just.  There was one time where I just was feeling so awful, you know, in the beginning of my pregnancy, feeling so awful.

I was just like, I cannot do any of the things she's telling me to do. I laid myself on my back and I just relaxed. And I said, this is worth it, because if I was home, I would  give myself the presence of mind to just relax. on a mat with nothing around to distract me. It is so powerful. And I think that's just, again, back to getting to know yourself.

You have to know how, what works for you, right? I like, try some things you might not even be sure work for you.  I tried out a dance class on Matzei Shabbos. It was really fun. I'm not a general, like, dance class kind of person.  But I'm looking to bring in pockets of joy, so I went to try something new.  I like that. 

Yeah. That's really fun. It's really fun. And it's like, okay, what, what else? Like what other thing would bring me a moment of joy  and a little pocket of fun?  What would that be?  You know, I have a question that I asked my clients. If you had, I also made a video about it on my YouTube channel. If you had 17 million. 

Right now, what would you do?  And it was based on a podcast I was listening to. And the lady said she made 17 million that year. And, and she's looking, you know, next year we're probably going to make more. Right. So it's like, you have this money, what do you do with it? And people's first reaction is like, Oh, I would get a new house, I would get new furniture, I would get this and that, right?

Like, okay, so you got a new house, you got the furniture, you got the car, you got the thing, you got, got, got, got, got, and now what does your day look like? You have all this money. And it's like, what does my day look like? Well Oh right. And you start humming and humming because you really have no idea what, how would your day change?

But I know that if I had 17 million, like I would go to yoga, I would go out with friends. I would make sure that I was very active and  I'm a people person. So I like people around. So I would sign up for all these things that were groups. Settings and little classes or little things, whatever it was, I know already that this is what fills me up.

So I do it already now. Like it doesn't cost 17 million dollars to go to yoga once a week, right? Exactly. If you had 17 million dollars, would you stop working? I would not.  Because my work brings me so much fulfillment and so much meaning. Like, no, I wouldn't stop working.  Right.  Yeah. I had one person answer that she would become a dancer.

So I said, okay, so what's stopping you? Well, I, I never took dance classes. So I was like okay, how much are dance classes? You know? And she actually started taking dance classes based on that question. And it brought her so much joy. It made her a different person. It completely changed her life because she gave herself permission to do something that is like you said, not urgent,  but important,  extremely important. 

I'm just listening to us now. Who's like totally burnt out and totally overwhelmed and thinking to themselves, like, are you two absolutely nuts?  Like you're talking about joy and fun and dance classes. And I just want to speak out to that person and say there is a way  to manage things differently. 

And that's been the basis of our whole conversation. But There is a way to do this. It's not unattainable. Like this is a doable thing. We can change.  That's the greatest potential that we have as people is our ability to, to change and adapt  and make decisions. So if someone's listening to this going like, okay, you two are like  gone. 

No, that's not a possibility.  You can build a life  in which you can breathe  and in which you can have moments of joy. I mean,  right. I love it.  Yes. And I want to say something else to this. Our brain is wired to stay in comfort zone and to be very, very safe and not to get out there and, take some risks and all these things.

So there is a certain addiction that we have to all the drama and all the busy and all the noise. Because it keeps us safe. If I know that I have not a moment to breathe, then it means that I don't have to think about what I would do if I had a moment to breathe. And it means that I don't have to worry about what I would do and how it would look.

And maybe I would actually be successful, right? The fear of success is way bigger than the fear of failure. So there's just a lot of danger out there if you create space and if you allow yourself to live. So let's just keep you nice and safe here. We're going to make it as overwhelming and as busy and as scary as possible so that you stay nice and safe.

And you're thinking, well, thank you very much, Brain. Like that's not working for me, right? I don't want that.  But your brain thinks you do because subconsciously that's its job.  Mm hmm.  So first step is thank you brain You know, you're doing your job. I appreciate you. Let's work together now. I'm gonna reprogram you know the things I actually want and Make certain things safe like creating space and expanding myself and being able to contain more and that's okay You know and sort of like work with your body work with your brain You And the way that I found, the only way that I found is actually in my freebie, The Guide to Unravel Overwhelm, is to find one thing.

You just pick one thing that takes 10 minutes to do. That's it.  Because then you don't have to completely change your life. All you have to do is just one thing.  And if you do enough things, eventually you will be changing your life. But if you just need to be in this moment with this one thing, that's manageable. 

And then your brain doesn't think you're going to die. Yeah. Your brain's like, Oh, this one thing it's not, it doesn't have that much power. It's fine. We'll let it roll. We'll let it, you know,  we'll let it slide. So I started with prayer. For me, the way out was through praying once a day  and I walk people through in my guide, like four steps, super clear, super easy.

In 10 minutes, you are going to change everything because you start to lean into this one thing and you start to see the ball rolling and it starts to hit different dominoes and they start to hit each other and your life will eventually look completely different. And I'm a living example to that.

But I was the most overworked, busy, crazy, you know, can't breathe person. I knew and it was, it was crazy, but I think that  realizing that  there are so many things out there that are here to help you take action on one thing. That's it. Pick one freebie pick one coach pick one podcast pick one something and just start to do One thing  exactly that was like my salad lunch. It takes seven minutes for me to make a salad.

I think even less maybe four minutes Like I can make a salad. I  mean in the winter. It's not so much fun, but  I can make a salad and I can sit outside and eat my salad. Wow. And that just calms everything down and just quietens things down.

I think of making a salad in four minutes. I'm like, really? Now I have to go time myself. It's so quick. It's so quick. We think making a salad should be like a 25 minute experience. It's not.  I know. Also, As a mother of a lot of children, making salad is a big deal because it's a big salad. But when I think about it, if I'm just making salad for myself, it's one tomato, one cucumber, one pepper, you know, like how long it took you.

I will. I will. I'm going to have to get back to you guys on this one. But you're challenging me because our brains,  Make everything such a big deal  and we don't let ourselves live.  Yeah. Love it. Freedom  is in one small change.  That's where it's at people, you know, where we think that freedom is in. completely becoming the other person, right? It's like, I am here. I want to be there. If I'm not there, then I can't be free.

Right. And it's like, no, no, no, no. No, freedom is right here right now in a decision that I'm making in this moment.  In one small action. Yeah, I love that. That was a great way to wrap it all up. I'm very impressed. Beverly, how can people reach you and contact you and work with you?

You're just amazing. Thank you. So I have a  little button on my website, beverlychimes. com, where you can schedule a chat  and we can discuss what you're looking for and how we can work together.  Or you can message me through Facebook,  either way, Beverly Becker Chimes on Facebook.  And I look forward to speaking to whoever wants to reach out. 

That sounds great. Okay, you guys, if you want to create freedom in your business and just overall in your life because right life and business is very, very very much connected.  Make sure you reach out. And if you are interested in the free guide to unravel overwhelm, I have it on my website. It's connected for real.

com slash guide, and you can get it for free. So enjoy that. Thank you so much for listening and thanks so much, Beverly.