129. How to Be a Parent While Running a Business

I'm back! I had a baby and I want to tell you all about it. I'm also going to be focusing on how I run my business while having eight kids. 

 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

 And we are live!  Welcome everyone to the connected for real podcast. I'm,  Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman and I'm back.

I am back people. I'm so happy. So  if you've been listening for a while, you know that I had a baby and it was a girl and it's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. I love her. And I am so, so, so grateful and so blessed. I want to tell you all about that. I also want to tell you about a big mistake I made when I was planning the year  or when I was executing my plan, actually. 

And for some reason, I recorded  parenting and marriage twice.  So, okay, that sounds crazy to people who have never heard us before. So let me backtrack a little bit. I planned the entire year of podcasts  in the end of December. I took a printout of the entire year, I just printed month by month, and I took sticky notes, the little ones, and fit right in, and I I placed them on the months  throughout the whole year and I basically created a plan and my plan was to give a theme to each month and then within the month, address that theme in regards to God, In regards to marriage, in regards to business and in regards to you.

So then the first month, January was money and it was money and God. And we had y'all trust. And she was amazing. We talked about, you know, what does. Got to do with money. And why did God create money? It was a really great podcast episode. If you haven't heard it, go back and listen. She is awesome.  Then we did money and marriage and another amazing episode, money and business and money and you, and then we went to the next one.

In February, we spoke about food and I brought in a group of amazing people.  Dietitians and, coaches who deal with food and eating. And so we did food and God, food and marriage, food and business, and food and you. And the whole year has been going smoothly ever since.  Except when we got to parenting, apparently I recorded  parenting and marriage twice and I did not record parenting and business. 

So  why did I record everything ahead of time? Because I was pregnant and I was excited to be able to take one thing off my plate and make sure that I'm not  having to record every single week, even through my maternity leave.  And somehow it became a year, even though I didn't think it was possible to execute an entire plan for the whole year. 

Thank God it just worked out and it happened. I got into a rhythm. I got guests for each week each month and the whole year just filled up and it was very very exciting and very incredible There were a couple of places Where I left spots for myself to do solo episodes, but this isn't one of them  And my assistant said to me we're missing an episode.

And I was like, no, we're not. I filled up all of them. She's like, yeah, I know they're all filled, but there's double of this one.  And  then she had an idea.  You know how, when your assistant tells you what to do, you know, you're doing the right thing by hiring her. She's so cool. I love her.  She said, you should go live without an interview for parenting and business. 

because you're the best person to talk about it. And I thought, hmm,  okay,  I guess she's right.  So I sent out an email to my email list. And if you're not on my email list, let me tell you, you should be, because it's so important. filled with amazing stuff.  I, by the way, took off three months from email list, but my email list still was getting updates about the podcast and soon they'll be getting updates about other things as well.

But I sent an email to my email list saying, Hey, you guys, I'm going to go live  right now for parenting and marriage. And I'm going to give some updates about my own life and my baby. And why don't you come and ask whatever questions you have.  And I got some great questions and I'm really excited about it.

Cause we're going to delve right into it. For the questions though. I think it's important to give you  some  background about my life. In case you don't know,  I have eight children  and my oldest is 17 and a half.  My youngest is two and a half months.  And I have six girls and two boys. So the six girls are throughout from beginning to end.

And the two boys are  eight and three. Okay, so you got a little bit of an idea of what I'm dealing with. And my husband is a rabbi.  So most of our income  is from this business.  And I'm really proud, really grateful and really, really blessed.

And if you want to know about how I started the business,  we get into that in episode a hundred,  I go through my journey and how I got here and all the different steps and what I learned. And if I would have had to do it from scratch and I give a lot of advice, so definitely go back and listen to that. 

I'm not going to get into those things. We are going to get into the juggling, the balancing act.  How do you have a marriage and specifically a bunch of kids, a family, and a business at the same time? How do you run it all? How do you do it all? How do you get it all done?  And I'm going to give you the spoiler right now.

You don't. You don't do it all.  Okay? You do not do it all. You do your all. Which means what's important to you  gets done. And for me, that's all the things that are important. But, When I sit and compare  myself to my friends, to other entrepreneurs, to the online business world, I don't think I do it all.  But it looks like I do because a lot of people are not doing what I'm doing.

So then they get overwhelmed and say, how do you do it all? So let's just put it all out there. You are not meant to do it all, quote unquote, you're meant to do the things that matter to you. And then you make them work because they all matter to you. Okay.  And I'm going to go even deeper than that and say that it's not that they matter to me.

And this is where it gets really interesting. It's what matters to God.  When I think of my family, my marriage, my children,  that entire,  my mother calls it the factory, right? It's like, this is a life factory. You put all of your energy into your children. You  put all of your money into your, Children in your family and it just runs like a factory  and you're creating humans that are going to be running in the world and doing big things.

And you're really, it's a big deal, right? So my mother calls it a  factory.  The Hebrew word. So that's one thing that you're doing and I personally feel like I'm doing it for God's sake, right? I have certain values that guide me and it feels really good to be in alignment with those values and with God.

So it eases up a little bit of the burden,  quote unquote. I don't want to, I don't want you to think that I think it's just A burden, but it is a type of  responsibility that may feel like a burden sometimes.

And then on the other side, we have the business and that too could be looked at as something I have to do and something I need to do and something that's like almost, you know, forced onto me. Some people would feel, I don't feel that way. When I  started this business, And also before the graphic design business, I feel like it's in alignment with what God wants. 

And even when I was really early on when I was dating and they asked me what I'm looking for, I said, I'm looking for a rabbi and I want to be able to support him in studying Torah.  And people thought I was crazy.  You don't know what you're getting yourself into, but that was my goal. And those were my ideals.

And so. With those values and this ideals in mind and with that alignment I felt very guided  and whenever it felt heavy or hard Or upsetting or annoying or frustrating or you know, if I ever got resentful It was always because I lost track of that clarity. So my family And my marriage and my children, that's all in alignment with God's will  and what I feel and know he wants for me. And my business and the way I bring in money and the way I spend money and anything that has to do with, you know, serving my clients and the money.

is also in alignment with God.  So once I have those two in alignment, then they're no longer fighting each other. They're really sitting nicely. And they're balancing nicely. So how do we do it? Let's get into some of the questions and you'll know what I'm going to be answering. If you are listening to this and it's not live and you still have a question, send it my way.

Totally with me. love. I will answer your questions. And if for any reason you ever want to come live again to anything, make sure you subscribe. If you are subscribed to my YouTube channel, you will get notified. About lives and I love going live. And if you go on Facebook and, you know, join me on my group connected for real, then you'll be notified too.

And yes, on LinkedIn, you will be notified automatically if you are following me, or if you're my friend or something, you know, these things change all the time.  So question number one, I'm so excited about this questions. 

I ran a business and have  Thank God, several children. My question is, what do you do when, for one reason or another, a kid stays home that day when you are scheduled for a class, interview, session, whatever? How do you deal with these surprises, quote unquote? Thanks so much. Okay, let's address this one first. Number one when kids are home, it can get really difficult. Because  they like to walk by and they like to disturb or they like to ask questions. Well, when you're in live or when you're in the middle of a session or something and it's really not good, right? It's not professional. It's not nice. All the things. So  I deal with it in two ways and it depends on the child's age.

If it's any of my older kids, I would say my eight year old and up,  then I would just close myself in a room and tell them they can't disturb and just do the thing I need to do.  And I'll tell them when I'm expected to be out or when I'm done. And then when I'm done, I, you know, go back to them and I give them whatever attention they need.

Also, I set them up for success. I give them the food, the drink, the game, the book, whatever they need in order to be entertained for that hour.  Sometimes I have books back to back and I'll let them know it's going to be two hours or something like that. Okay. And if they end up needing me for whatever reason, and they do need to disturb if you've been here long enough, you may know that it's fine.

I am publicly a mother.  I'm not hiding the fact. So if the kid isn't feeling well, and they need my help, or if somebody needs to ask me a question, they'll come through the door, they'll knock, or they'll look in, and they'll say, you know, I need this and that. And if I can, I mute myself, you know, apologize, mute myself, and then deal with it, or I give them a quick answer, and they know to respect what I'm doing. 

I think this comes from the COVID days, where we had to really Educate our children  that  we're working. This was the first time COVID that my children saw me working.  They always thought that I don't do anything or that whatever I'm doing is magic. Like they didn't really put the two and two together.

That's also when I started going live and doing all of my, you know, connected for real stuff before that I was a graphic designer, so they knew that I designed, but I never had to do. You know, face live things, right? And if I had a meeting on zoom or something, yes, we used to use zoom before COVID  it was never during the time that they were around, so  I think that COVID really helped us educate the kids  to respect.

The space of, hey, I'm working now. And it taught them a life lesson. Really. I think it was one of the gifts that came out of COVID. We're trying to always find, you know, what good came out. So here's one of them. If it's younger kids, if my baby is awake, or. If my younger kids are the ones staying home, right?

I have almost three year old and a almost six year old.  The six year old is like on the,  on the fence of this. Cause I definitely could give her something to do, but I have a feeling that she won't have the patience to stay the whole hour entertained. And then  my three year old would never survive like 10 minutes without being watched I mean, we wouldn't survive because he's three and he gets into everything and he's awesome and smart and capable of reaching lots of heights and touching lots of things and figuring out how to use them.

So if it was that case, then I would speak to my husband and ask him to come and back up. Or whoever's around. I find that in those cases I do lean on whatever support system I have. Okay. So I can't think of a specific example. Oh, I can actually, recently I went to a networking event and I actually had to drive there and drive back and be there.

So I went for the whole morning  and I took my baby with me, of course, because She doesn't stay anywhere but me, right? Like we're attached still, basically.  And

so cute. I'm just thinking how she was attached literally on me for nine months. And now  I can hand her over to someone else for at least an hour, which is really nice. So she came with me. I showed up to the networking event with a baby. You bet I got a lot of attention for that, and  it didn't bother anyone because the networking event was all women, and it was cool  before even like asking to hold her.

So, you know, that was one way of business and and.  That  is an angle I didn't think about. But that day my son was sick and he was throwing up and not feeling well. And I just told my husband, I can't miss this networking event. It was scheduled. I was already signed up. I'm not missing it.  So he ended up taking that morning off in order to be with him.

And then when I got home, he went back. It's really helpful that my husband is local. So even though he is. In Colal, which is, you know, he's studying Torah all day. He is local. So I'm able to lean on that when I need. I try not to, because I don't want to disturb.   I think that realizing the value of what he's doing, then I don't want to take away from that.

Any of his time, if I don't have to.  So I hope this  answers your question. How do you deal with these surprises? I,  I want to give you another tip that I got early on in my,  in my business career, actually, I think I got this from when I was still a graphic designer.  I can't remember her name. 

Her specialty was. Using what she learned  as a manager, business organizer thing, person, I don't know what her, what the name is. Jael Zaltz, that's her name. Okay. So,  there was a conference and Jael Zaltz spoke. And Jael Zaltz's whole business is taking systems from businesses and Putting them on homes, like teaching mothers how to run their home like a business and I really liked following her during those days when I had a graphic design business because I was in need of a lot of those skills and I did not have my accelerator at all.

If you know me, you know that I. For a long, long time thought I was a bad mother because I just couldn't get it together. So please raise your hand. Everybody who is feeling that way and take a deep breath. We're all in this together. So I felt like a bad mother and I felt like I couldn't get it all together.

And I didn't feel like I was organized enough and all the things, right. And the adults said  that you have to learn to make. Decisions ahead of time  and basically give yourself rules so that when something comes up as a surprise, it's not a surprise because you already thought it through  and she gave the example of if a kid wakes up and they're sick and you are on your way out to work and your husband is on his way out to his work and you have to make a decision who's going to stay home.

If you don't have a rule in place, you're going to have to start calculating every single time  what to do.  So she says, just sit down with your husband one time and figure out who loses more money if they take off from work.  And who is entitled to getting six days and who is blah, blah, blah, all the things, right. 

And then make a rule  on day one, if, you know, if we have to stay one day, then it always has to be you because you lose less money when you, Don't come to work, but if it goes beyond two days, then I'll take over. And then you can go to work, whatever it is, right? Like make a rule and once it's written and once it's done, it's done.

And then you don't have to think about it again. It takes away from the decision fatigue. And also it takes away from the hurry decision making thing that happens when something is a surprise. And now you have to quickly make a decision. Usually we're not available. To really think it through and make a decision that makes sense, right?

So then we think about it backwards, like, oh, I should have done this, that, the other.  So just take a minute, calculate, and then  move on, right? So as a rule, I work from home. So if a kid stays home, usually it's me that's going to stay with him. 

If I have something to do and I need to go out, then my husband has to take over because I'm the one who's going to lose money if I don't do the things I need to do. Right? So  that's how we've decided, you know, works for us. Having a  pre thought out rule  makes that you don't have to stress. Okay, it's really helpful. 

Okay. If you have any more questions, send them in. I'm going to read the next question that came in. How can you be there for your kids? If you have a business to run also.  I love that. I think the fact that I have a business to run helps me be there for my kids.  So let's talk about it. When I was working full time  in an office as a graphic designer, I was traveling in Jerusalem, I used to work for Ben Gassner.

For a long, long time. And I loved working there.  And then afterwards I became a freelancer and started my own thing. But when, you know, in those days that I was traveling into Jerusalem, it took me an hour and a half with buses and traffic, I would arrive usually later than I wanted to, because of traffic and the buses, I would.

quickly put my stuff down,  work, work, work, work, work, leave work, have to get on a bus, and then another bus, and then wait, and then, you know, stuff, traffic, blah, blah, blah, get home, in Hebrew they say with my tongue out, right, like exhausted and nauseous from the buses, and just dazed.  I would have to pick up my kids, At four o'clock and then I have no energy for them.

And it just, that was day after day after day. And I just felt like I was running after my own tail. Okay.  Those were also the times that I thought I had to do it all. So. You know, a good mother makes, you know, cuts up vegetables and takes them to the park and a good mother makes, you know, delicious suppers and they're always hot and they're always perfect.

And a good mother washes her kids and puts them to sleep and tells them stories and sings to them and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  I had a lot of stories about what good mothers are. And then of course, good wives, but we're putting that aside for a minute. Cause we're talking about parenting right now. 

So at that time, I really remember feeling very overwhelmed, very  hectic and not focused, and just everything was all over the place and I didn't feel good about myself. Was I there for my kids then? I'm not  sure in a ideal world that I felt like I was, I definitely was physically there for them. And emotionally I tried my best.

So, you know, thank God the kids I had then are now the older ones. And they seem to have grown up pretty well. So thank God, you know, no complaints yet.  But I had a rhythm then that allowed me to be there for them. So my rhythm was, Take them to the park right after I get home.

So we didn't even go home. We just went straight to the park, spent like an hour and a half there, then came home, made supper, ate supper, washed up, you know, told stories, went to sleep. And I felt like I was a good mother by doing that. But then I always felt like a failure because I didn't do it enough. I didn't do a good enough, you know, whatever stories. 

Right now  I have a business that allows me to be home most of the time, unless I choose to go places. I serve my clients online on zoom and I have this podcast I record. From home and I'm just  making my own rules and I think that by having this business I'm able to be there for my kids a lot more.

So let's define what it means to be there for your kids because as we said before how do you do it all is not a universal all it's a very unique personal all and it's the same thing with parenting  what your kids need from you or what you'd like doing with your kids is. It's very unique to you. And I don't want you to think that  there is one way of being a good mother  because there isn't. 

Does that feel good to hear? Can you just give yourself like a deep breath and a release of all the weight and the noise and the expectations that we have of ourselves of what a good mother is supposed to be? There is no such thing as a good mother. You just are the mother. Okay. So for me,  I realized about myself that I really love talking to my kids, advising them,  you know, teaching them how to be,  An adult,  how to be a mensch,  how to light up the world, how to lean into yourself, how to be,  comfortable in your own skin. 

I like   the less tangible stuff. I am not as great at,  making supper every day on time or, you know, doing the physical stuff. I remember myself telling someone when I had a baby, I'm so excited about the baby, but the thing I'm most excited about is , when I could start having conversations with them. I love talking to my kids because they're so deep and so  able to hold the conversation.

And it's obviously because, you know, I speak to them from a very young age, because that's my superpower is to have that conversation and to have the open communication and  all that stuff. So  I. That's the stuff I love. And to me, that's where I can shine and be, you know, be the mother that they need.  I ended up delegating suppers to my husband. 

My husband is amazing at making food that goes on the table on time.  Maybe he doesn't do it like I do it. Maybe it's not exactly how I would want it,  but it works. So  I'm grateful and I'm proud of him. I'm proud of myself for letting go of my need to do it all  and it really freed me up to do the things that I do best, right?

I I would get so resentful that I had to come home from the park in order to make supper Like why can't we just come home from the park and have supper ready?  you know and so I would try really hard to like Come up with all these hacks of having supper cook while you Are in the park, but then I didn't want to leave the fire on and I didn't you know, whatever it was like Complicated.

Yes. It is, you know doable and can be done

I can think of many ways to do it now that I am a little bit older and a little bit wiser, but at the time I just couldn't figure out how to hold both things at the same time. And it was making me feel really, really low. So my husband was really sweet and said, what's the problem? Of course  I'll do it.

And I appreciate it. And he knows that. So we're good. You know, another thing is, is that I prioritize my kids. One thing that I got as a criticism, when I was starting this business, someone said on a Facebook comment, they said, I don't like how you're, you know, telling people that they can have a business, even though they're married and have children and stuff, because basically what you're saying is that marriage and parenting isn't  the  top priority.

Right. You're pushing people into making business their top priority. And I was like,  no,  what I'm telling you is that you can have both. You don't have to wait until you could finally start your business. Right. Like I'm waiting for my kids to grow up. I'm waiting for something to drop. I'm waiting for some ducks to be in a row. Forget about it. Just do what you need to do now and make it work together.  By finding balance by figuring out, you know, minimum viable, you don't have to do it perfectly and you don't have to do it all at once. You do what you can and you, you make it work. Right. So that's exactly how I look at it.

My business works for me and if it's not working for me, then I make it work for me  and my marriage and my parenting are my priorities. By the way, I'm very strong. In my opinion that your marriage comes first and then you're parenting  because when your marriage is strong, then you are automatically parenting your kids.

You're showing them how to have a strong marriage. That is one of the biggest gifts you can give to your children. So when people say, yeah, but my children need me and you know, the marriage isn't going to get anywhere, whatever. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You stop everything and you take your care of your marriage because marriage comes first.

Okay. That's why I'm a marriage coach and not a parenting coach. I do talk about parenting a lot, but I still really, really  believe that your marriage comes first. Okay.  All that being said, you know how we have like priority one and this is priority and that's priority All that being said if you're doing everything for god's sake then god will help you make it work everything will fall into place when you ask guidance and listen and follow and really Live the life that you want based on your values. We talk about a lot more in the part in the program itself.

Great.  Somebody's asking about overwhelm.  If you are feeling the overwhelm,  please, please, please, step one, go to connectedforreal. com slash guide and download the PDF that's there. There's a guide I created. It's called The Guide to Unravel Overwhelm and it is four steps to To start getting rid of that overwhelm unraveling it.

You do not need it in your life. We do not need chaos. We can live without all that noise. Okay. So the first thing you want to do in order to get rid of overwhelm is. To get that guide and to start doing it. It is simple. It should not take you more than 20 minutes to go through. Think it through, fill it in.

You will thank me forever. It is a life life changer. So many people, I think maybe like a thousand people have gone through it already. So many people have changed their entire life just based on that. And you know, me being the first one. So that's why I created it. It was the thing that flipped over my whole existence.

Transcribed Okay, so if this is resonating for you and thank you for the comment, I cannot tell you enough how important it is to  deal with the overwhelm first, first step. And that's why I created this freebie. It's called the guide unravel overwhelm and it's on at Connected for real dot com slash guide.

So go get it. Okay, let's hit the next question.  How do you give your all to both?  So when I'm planning my week,  I first put in all the things that are big rocks and big rocks. This week is my daughter's graduation from elementary school. Big rock. Last week was my other daughter's graduation from high school.

Thank God this year we have four graduations and so four out of eight of my kids are graduating something. Except my husband laughs that if you count the baby graduating from size two to size three diapers. Then I guess we have five graduating kids, but I'm totally kidding. We have a graduating from high school, graduating from elementary school, graduating from gone to first grade and graduating my own to gun.

So very exciting. My own is like daycare and gone is like a 318 or whatever.  Whatever it is. The stuff before school.  So that's exciting. How do I give it all? How do you give it all? So step 1 is big rocks go in the schedule. And by the way, they go way earlier in the schedule. Like, as soon as I find out about an event for my daughter. 

I stick it in my calendar and I block off the time before and after, because I know that I'm going to want to help her do her hair and help her, you know, be with her and whatever. And I also want to process at the end. When we come home, I don't want to be running to a class. We're running to a call. So I'm going to make sure to block off. 

After the event in my calendar, once something is blocked off, no one else can schedule anything there. So that's the reason why I block it off on my, my calendar. First thing, right? So, if I find that there's an event, I block it off. If you've ever worked with me, you know that I have. reschedule things because of my kids.

Hey, my kid has this thing I have to show up to. We're rescheduling. When would you like to reschedule? It's not a question. It's a statement, right? And I'm grateful that you're able to you know, accommodate my schedule.  But I want to do it for good things, right? Like if my kid was sick or if I had to go to the hospital with them, I would obviously reschedule.

So if there's something happy that they need me, I'm going to make sure to reschedule and because people schedule with me ahead of time. I'm able to see Ahead of time that there's going to be a problem So it's usually not a not an issue because we can even make it earlier later, whatever Okay, so I put in the big rocks. I feel like There are certain things in place Like rules in place that helped me be there for my kids. I try not to work past 9 30 PM and then, you know, I spend time with the older ones, I try not to work every night because then I can spend time with the younger ones putting them to sleep and showers and stuff. I used to be very involved in the schools. I used to go and really. Be in the parent committee or whatever, because I felt like that was the way I could find out about what's going on with my kids. It's going on in their schools. I stopped doing that now because it's just too  time consuming.

And also, I didn't feel like it was moving the needle enough to be worth my time. But I, I'm still available for, you know, those types of things if I needed. If there's ever like an issue, they know to call me in school because I was involved for so many years also because I have four girls in a row.

The school is used to me. So I'm also used to them. And I think that I'm, I'm really grateful to have, you know, to have that that's how I am there for my kids.  And how am I able to give it all in my business?  I, I have an attitude of minimum viable,  right? Like  if you're doing a webinar, yes, do you know, give it your all and do what you need to do, but don't make it over complicated.

You don't have to do it more than  necessary for it to work. Right. I used to have the marriage breakthrough retreat. How many of you remember that?  I love to hear. I did it nine times. It was a seven day event. It was one hour a day for seven days and it took over my entire life and I'm really grateful I did it.

It was the beginning with Corona and and I'm so grateful.  I had a lot of time and you know, it was really fun to run and I enjoyed it. I also got great clients from there, so it was definitely worth it. But then I realized I don't have to give you everything but the kitchen sink  in order to work with me.

And also I realized that most people were resentful about the fact that it was seven days because they couldn't come all seven days and they missed some. So, So, just having a webinar or a workshop or a one hour event or whatever it was,  allowed them to learn something, digest it, take it with them and then move on. 

If they felt ready to work with me, they joined and they were able to then, consume all of the different parts of, you know, content that I have. I have an entire curriculum of  What to do when you work with me, right? And so you don't have to consume it all. You have access to it all, but you don't have to consume it all.

I tell you what to listen to what to watch, you know, which meditation is good for you. And then you sort of cherry pick what's right for you right now.  I love it. Steph Crowder. My.  coach. So in her podcast, she says just in time learning, that's what she calls it. Stop trying to do everything just in case, and just focus on just in time.

Okay. So I feel like a lot of businesses are run, but with just in case, like just in case I'll add another thing and I'll put another bell and another whistle and another, whatever it's like, just do what is needed right now. And  then move forward. Okay. So I run my business in a way that it serves me, you know, instead of the opposite, I try not to overcomplicate things.

This is what I help with my clients do as well.  And. And I like it that way. I think it feels really good to have your business work for you.  I also have systems in place. Like, you know, I have a weekly podcast, so I know that I need to do certain things for it to go live on Mondays and sometimes on Thursdays.

So for example, I know I'm recording right now because I have to have it ready by Thursday. And  I was going to record it on my own time, but I found that going live is going to keep me more accountable and I'm actually going to do it and be done with it and get it done and send it to my editor and all and so on and so forth.

So I think that's the answer to how do you do it all. And how do you give both your all is that  I first define what all means. And then I do what needs to happen. Right. So for my business, do it all is do what is necessary  to move forward. Really progress, not perfection.  Rebecca Saltzman's line.

I don't know. I'm sure everybody says it, but Rebecca Saltzman says it to us all the time. I'm part of her membership, the journey to organization membership. And anytime anybody says anything about perfection, it's like progress, not perfection. And it's very, very helpful. How do you work with a baby at home?

Ooh. So I had the baby in April and I took off completely. It was the gift I gave myself. It was the gift you guys gave me. It was awesome. I loved it. Let me give you a little background about how I did it on a business perspective. I set up my podcast to be pre recorded as you heard, and it just continued on without me having to be involved with it.

I  pre sold. Spots to work with me before I went on maternity leave. So I had 12 spots. I said, I'm only taking 12 people and I sold out the 12 spots. And I'm really grateful and thank you for everybody who joined. I know that they're thanking me a lot more because I, I keep getting this like, Oh my gosh, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. This is changing my life, but it just feels really good to have win win. Right? So the win win was instead of getting three months with me, you get six months because three months, I'm not going to be available. So. So you get access to all of the curriculum and you can watch the replays and the sessions and the training and the meditation library and all of that. 

And when we start working together, they didn't get any more sessions with me. They just,  Waited patiently to have sessions with me. And when I was ready to come back two months later I started taking clients. So I've been taking clients for three weeks already. And it is so beautiful and so life changing for them.

And, you know, for me, I'm just blessed and it feels really good. So I sold out and if you are interested in working with me, you can definitely get on the wait list because we have opening spots soon. And you want to be the first one. I'm sure it will sell out again. So just make sure you don't miss out.

How do you work with a baby?  So I did not work for two months and I felt really, really in alignment with that. But when we go to rest and really good to take the time to be present, I, I think that it taught me a lot about what my clients are going through. Just trying to slow down and be present when your mind is just trying to go back to work and, Oh, I have so many ideas, but I have so many things I think I should need to do, or, you know, and, and that pull.

It's almost like because it's so fulfilling to be doing what I'm doing,  I don't want to leave it. I don't want to stop it. I don't want to detach from it. So I had to really use my own skills that I teach you, my own tools, my own,  you know, mechanisms to ground myself and to just calm down and tell my nervous system, nothing bad will happen if I don't do those things.

Right. So  it was really awesome to feel the emotions of, you know, that pull and to also just sort of calm it down. And now that I'm back at work with my baby around, I, I'm just normal about it. You know, if she's sleeping and I'm in the middle of a session and suddenly she wakes up, I will say, you know, one second, my baby just woke up. Let me pick her up and I go and I pick her up and I, you know, I change her diaper, I nurse her or whatever, but I do it. During the call. Like I will not stop a session to nurse. I don't stop a conversation to nurse either. You know, if I had a guest over at my house, I would just, you know, use a coverup and nurse and continue talking.

So I just don't make it a big deal. I don't make it a thing. Obviously we're talking about a very young baby, so it's really not that much  of whatever. But when they get older, then if I have a session or if I. You know, have an interview or whatever, I'll make sure to get back up. So either I'll have my daughter's babysit or I'll have my husband watch the baby.

Or I'll make it at a time when, you know, there's other people around who can, who can help. So that's how I do it with a baby.  I, I just do the same thing I do. With a baby. Okay, we're taking the next question. Is it scary financially to start a business when you have a family to take care of?  I think it's scary financially to just. finances. You know, any money coach is going to tell you the first thing you have to do is get over your fear of money. When you realize that everything comes from God and God gives you everything you need, then you would have the money from the job or you'd have the money from the business.

Either way, because  God is going to give you the same money. You know, somebody once told me in the beginning of the year,  during the high holidays, God decides or determines how much money you're going to have that whole year. So

is he going to turn around and be like, well, now that you opened your business, you just  lost the money I was going to give you. No it doesn't work like that. Right.  And if anything, I feel like I'm more in alignment because when I was doing it just for the money, you know, Oh, I need to support myself.

So I'll do, you know, I'll work for, for someone else. And I'll just go and come back and make the money and just know that I have like a paycheck and I'm done with that.  I, I  wasn't as much in alignment as I am now, but right now I don't feel like I'm controlling it as much. I'm not like grabbing at money.

I'm just sort of in flow with money. There was a lot of money mindset things I had to go through.  My first hire  when I started this business was Debbie Sasson for money, money, mindset stuff. I then, you know, I worked with Yael Trusch. In her program, God wants you to be rich because in my head, I know he wants me to, it's just, my nervous system is not ready. 

I'm not sure how to like contain all that. So I did work with Debbie. I did work with yell Trish. I brought on a lot of amazing guests so that I can have them speak about this topic because it really is a very important topic. And by the way, if you go back to the January. Episodes.

There's four of them about money. There's money in God, money in marriage, money in business and money and you they're all really, really great. I've also had, you know, guests in the past that spoke about money.  I think it's really important to realize that money is a tool that God gives us in order to serve him.

And when you see it that way, It's not as much, you know, stressful or what was the question? The exact wording was scary, right? It's not as scary. Also when you have  a family to take care of, that was the other part of the question. Is it scary financially to start a business when you have a family to take care of? 

So, you know, people say, Oh, you support the family. And I was like, no, God supports the family. It just happens to be, this is the door it's coming through. Right. So if I didn't make money, money will come from somewhere else.  Suddenly my husband will get a client for editing cause he does a lot of editing.

Usually like, you know, high level stuff, he's very, very smart. So anything that has to do with, you know, something in Torah or you know, high level, where are the sources for all this stuff? Like he, he knows so many sources and is able to really  fact check.  and,  articles, things like that. So  anytime I felt like I don't know, it's not, you know, it's not flowing,  my husband was suddenly got a client or suddenly got offered a temporary job or suddenly, you know, it's like.

It's not me, right? And it helps you keep yourself very humble because I'm not the one making the money. I'm the one showing up and allowing it in, but I'm not the one doing it. And it's very important to remember that. Okay.  So is it scary? Yes. If you think about it from our limited perspective of I'm the one bringing in the money.

And if I don't make money in this business, then we have nothing to eat. Then Yes, it's scary,  but when I am able to, you know, get to the next level and say, oh,  God takes care of us no matter what. Then it's less of an issue,  really. Women who start working with me to start their business, right?

Because I take women  for multiple reasons. Women work with me to strengthen their marriage so that it doesn't affect their business in a negative way. A lot of times, you know, you start a business and you start leaning into your business because marriage isn't that good and you don't feel that great at home.

And having a business makes you feel fulfilled and important. And like somebody appreciates you. So, you know, we bring back the balance and get the marriage to support the business and the business to support the marriage. And we do it from a marriage angle. Some people have a good marriage and They're having a hard time starting a business.

A lot of times it's because they're not feeling like their marriage  is able to contain that change, right? If I start a business, then it will shift the balance. It will,  tip the scale. Things are going to start to move in the wrong direction. So I'm not going to. So the avoid really growing their business because they're afraid it will affect their marriage, which is already quote unquote good.

So we work on getting the business side to, you know, get more comfortable and grow and find balance there.  And sometimes I have women in early business, like I don't have anything, but I want to start a business to women who are running multi multi  and they just need to find how to optimize it, give themselves permission to make it all work better.

Sometimes it's just having someone to turn to and someone to bounce ideas off of. So those are all the different types of women who I work with. When women come to start a business with me, I tell them that the most important thing is to take action and to start proving to yourself that you can do it.

Right? So we build the ideal thing and what our target  product is, or what our target ideal client is, or whoever, whatever, we do all the work, but we're not doing it in a vacuum. We're doing it with action, right? So we're going to start right away. Offering whatever it is that we have and trying to get clients and trying to prove to ourselves that this is something people want.

And then we're going to take the next step and, you know, we're tweaking slowly, but I want them to take action. I want you to take action. Always. Whenever you're working with me, you're going to be taking action. You're going to get clarity and then take action.  Why? Because that's the only way that you can really grow in a healthy way, trying to build in a vacuum and then  bringing it to market. It could possibly work if you're a large company with a lot of, you know, a different mechanism altogether. But when you are trying to start a business, you know, as a woman who has a family and a home and wants to start something, whatever, we start small and we start moving the snowball, right.

And the snowball effect just  takes place.  So yeah, that's how you solve for that. Yes. Scary fear, you know, it's just prove that it's doable and start doing it.  Okay we are out of time and we are out of questions If you have a question and you want me to answer it, I'm more than happy to.  Send me an email if you are on my email list, and if you're not, make sure to get on there by going to connectedforreal.

com slash guide, downloading the guide to unravel overwhelm, and let me know what your one thing is.  I love you all. I can't wait to be back here a lot more and tell you all about what's coming next. But for now, I'm just excited to be back and to be serving my clients and to be going live. 

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.