135. How to Use Your Clothing to Be the Best You

Mazal Etoile Basiri is a psychotherapist and clothing mentor. She teaches women to reconnect themselves by strengthening their self-confidence, developing the courage to be who they want to be, joy to celebrate life, and discovering their true style in this chapter of their lives. Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman is a marriage coach for women in business. In her LIVE show and the "Connected For Real" Podcast, she interviews amazing women to enhance all the parts of our life: Specifically the four pillars: G-d, Marriage, Business, & You. Join them as they talk about how to find your style and be yourself.

 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

And we are live.  Welcome everyone to the connected for real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and today with me is Mazal and we're talking about clothing and you, what your clothing says about you, how you get to know yourself through your clothing and all that amazing, good stuff. So we're going to start with Mazal, introduce yourself and tell everyone why you're so awesome.

Hello everyone. So my name is Mazal I'm French, originally from France, living in Israel for the past 20 years. I'm a psychotherapist which helps women going through some their change in life, especially crisis and evolve through them. I help them to become more self confident, express themselves.

And one of the way I use as a tool is clothing.  Clothing is an amazing way to.  Feel good about you to express yourself and to use as a second skin,  really. And when you feel good, when you wear, when you wear yourself or you wear your clothes and you feel good in yourself, You will do also better actions, which will help you  develop, become who you want to be. Feel confidence, express yourself, and it's just go with all of the things together. It's not just like wake up in the morning, I just pick up the clothes and go out. When you wear your clothes and you choose your clothes intentionally,  Okay. You think, let's say today I want to be more confident  and you say, okay, what's a person that is confidence where, okay.

So this is this curse with this shirt. Great. And what does a person that is confident with do today. And then you just go one step, one step, the one after the other, we starting with your clothes in the morning. And you can even do that in the evening. If you prefer, choose your clothes before you go to bed and say, okay, tomorrow I want to feel one, two, three.

How does the person wear the things you choose to close? And before you go to sleep, you will have the intention, which means that.  In the morning, there is a big change that you wake up with the intention that you had the day before. Since during the night, your brain is working.  On one. You think the day before.

So if you go to bed with thinking, I thought I'm not enough. I'm not good. No, no, no, no. Well, no surprise that in the morning you will wake up and that's how you're going to feel.  And in the old country, if you go to sleep and you say, okay, thank you. Hashem for 1234 tomorrow. I'm going to say I'm going to do better tomorrow.

I'm going to wear X, Y, Z. And there is a big change. You're going to wake up like that and think about your life. When you do that  several days in a row, or in the months, or the next month, how does your year can look like when you do that all the time? All the time, all the time, like baby steps. So, we think about clothes like being just,  like something, it's just clothes, I'm gonna buy a lot.

No, they are not just  clothes.  They are a self expression, they are an extension of our self and they are just such a big tool  that we, each of us can use  to become authentic, to express,  and to feel so good with ourself. We have so much  women, especially difficulties with our body, with our self image.

So when you  where things that just make  you feel good, you will feel just much better. So I think that's me for the moment. That's amazing. I love that you're saying, you know, set an intention and then ask, what does that person wear? And I don't know if I do this. A lot of times  I wake up in the morning and I pick my clothes and I'm like, what do I feel like right now?

You know, I feel  I feel draggy and I just want to feel comfortable. So I just, you know, I'm going to grab the thing that's the most, you know, and so like, I guess I never thought about choosing what I want to be. And instead, a lot of my go to is choosing where I am right now.  And that's like a big takeaway for me.

Like, Whoa, you guys were only like five minutes in the conversation and I already have a takeaway. This is great.  My pleasure. We know that emotion, the  energy in motion. So basically what we feel now.  It's not something that we are specifically going to feel in each moment. It's a lot of the situation, the action that we're going to have, the person that we're going to interfere during the day.

So when I know that emotion is not,  They're important. Yes. They say a lot about who we are. Yes. They show us the way our value, our need. Yes. At the same time,  they are also changing very fast when we accept them. They are 90 seconds to go into change. So if, when I know that my emotion that I have right now is maybe not going to be the one that I will have in another minute and a half,  why would I not from the beginning move forward?

Choose the emotion that I would like to have,  wear it,  and be in this constant during the day. Now, let's be honest, okay, that doesn't mean that the moment that I choose my clothes at 7 in the morning, I'm gonna be like that, I'm gonna have the expectation to be like this the whole day.  Yet,  you did make an intention choice  for yourself, which is giving the poor back to you instead of having circumstances  impacting your way. 

That's a huge difference. Then you are not, you are not, people are not thinking of themselves. They become the author or actor or  creator of them or their life. Yes. And  it goes with   Hakadosh BaruchHu as well. So, when we declutter, when we look through our clothes and we choose what we want to keep and what we want to get rid of, and, you know, a lot of times that's where it really comes to play because, you know, we realize we have a lot of clothes, half the stuff we don't even wear, half this stuff doesn't even fit us, half this stuff isn't even practical, and then like, You're left with just, you know, the 20% that you wear 80% of the time  that, and it doesn't necessarily reflect who you want to be or where you want to go.

It just sort of fits and works and we move on. So a lot of us are in that boat. What can a person do to get themselves into a,  just a tiny, like 5%, you know, increase in feeling really good about your clothes.  First of all, you don't need to buy new clothes. Okay, it's not about spending money  and buying more because  if you are in place that you just wear with you  20 percent of your closet 80 percent of the time, it means that the next process that you're going to do we could be will be we look like the last four shares or something that you already have. 

So one of the things we need to, maybe one can be reorder your closet, which means things that you  have on the back  of your closet, start to bring it  on the beginning of the closet. So you can see what you have. Second, it can be to declutter, as you said.  So most of us, we just have a lot of stuff. We have a lot of stuff.

We just have past memories attached to them,  events,  eventually who I was and I want to go back to that. It's a past charge.  When decluttering is to detach, detaching is  making some space and it's not just the space in the wardrobe, it's the space. in our mind.  When there is clutter in the wardrobe, most of the time there is clutter in our head, but we don't make the connection.

Decluttering wasn't the hardest thing for people to do. Letting go of stuff, even though they are just stuff,  but you make space in your wardrobe, you make space in yourself, you make space in your spirituality,   you make space for something new to get in, which is not closing.  So you asked me for tips, declutter. 

Yeah.  Ring this stuff from the back to the front. Declutter the things that don't fit you. I heard someone say something really beautiful. They said only have the things in your closet that fit your now body and anything else. Put away in a box in a suitcase under your bed somewhere It doesn't have to be in your face every single day being like no, no, no, no, no, you can't wear me But i'm right here, right because it's just emotional Drain every single time and it takes up space  and especially the confusion of   as you said, I want to be Slimmer or i'm just too big You  And something that you don't need that.

You don't need that reminder.  You don't need those clothes. You are just who you are right now. And that's perfect.  It's a little hard to say when you don't like where you are right now. You know? And I think a lot of us, not necessarily in the way that we feel about our body, But a lot of times,  we're angry, we're guilty, we're feeling shame, we're feeling any emotion that feels icky to us.

And we're like, I don't like this. I need to get rid of it. I need to change it. I need to move away from this. And so we're fighting reality instead of, you know, letting it be. And it makes it harder to go away. 

But having the clues that remind you, it's not going to help you out.  That's exactly supporting what you said exactly right now. If I want to accept, when I want to accept who I am right now,  I don't need the things to remind me where I am not, where I want to be, where I was.  Yes. It's important to accept those facts. 

Okay.  The emotion that are connected to them yet put this on the side and concentrate on where you, where you are and where you going. You wanna go, you want to go to have your body that you had one year ago. Okay, fine. That's your choice. Wonderful. You want to work out for that? Okay, good.  Do the actions.

But you don't need to close to remind you  in a month in a year. You want to try them on wonderful

But you don't need that  Yeah,  I like that, you know putting a putting a date on it and saying if my next year I don't fit in Then I'm just letting go of them It gives you an incentive to work towards it But it also gives you freedom to let go of them if it's just  not your reality and you know You're saying I want to go back to looking like that or I want to go back to the body I had and I just want to remind everyone we're going forward like time is only moving forward We're never going back So a lot of us are trying to go somewhere where it's literally impossible To go to because we don't have a time machine that takes us backwards. 

If anything, why don't we just try to focus on, I want to go forwards to the next version of myself that is like you said, confident, that is comfortable in her own skin that can really shine her light without having to feel like there's something wrong with her.  I'd like that.  Yeah, I like it too.  The past is, yeah, the past is just wonderful to take the lessons, okay?

Because let's be honest,  there is a lot of beautiful lessons to have from it.  It does serve  for the future or what can be done much better.  It doesn't have to be on our back,  specifically like it's a burden,  but also in our back  as wearing it  or not wearing it. What doesn't serve you, let it go.  Let it go.

I'm fascinated by how you got to this because, you know, most people who are stylists, they're talking about the shape of your body and the clothes that you should wear and the colors that match your, you know, blah, blah, blah. And you're coming from a different angle completely. How did you get into this? 

So first, I'm not a stylist. I'm I don't tell people what to wear and how to wear. I'm a psychotherapist, so first of all, we work  what's going on inside of the person, the way of thinking, the limit belief, the behavior, et cetera.  The action, the clothes happen to be a tool.  I truly believe that every one of us, as we are unique, as we have our own specific way of expressing ourself. 

or become, there is a way of wearing clothes. Who am I to tell you, to your body, you should wear this or that? I'm not a police, like I'm not a fashion police to tell you what.  I just ask question  for a woman to tell me what's, okay, what is, what are her values?  What is a woman that has those values will, will wear?

What does she wear?  And the woman has the question, already the answer, she knows.  what's wrong for her.  And usually they just come up  and she knows and then she knows what to wear, even what to buy. She doesn't need me to come with her or to buy even clothes. Most of the time is just having a new way perspective and looking at your closet  and making new mix and match of what you have not thought about  and how I became To your second question I just had my own story since I am a young child. 

I love playing with clothes.  I love to wear my clothes and I had different style all the time with the different circumstances of my life and it really impact one another.  And then I just discovered there is something called psychology, fashion psychology, which is a big new field in the psychology. 

And I have seen how it can be used. So now I'm using that also as a tool.

Fashion psychology. That's fascinating. What are they talking about in fashion psychology? They talk about a lot is about research and experiences that has been done on people and how clothing has impacted them. So there is  one experience. That was brought I don't remember the researcher, okay.

The two, two group of people,  one group will wear Dr. Vest,  you know a black, a white,  I don't black, white,  I don't know the word in English.  A white robe.  Yeah. A white robe. And the other one will not. And they have given a test.

The result at the end, the result of people who had the white robe has better result than the one that has   that didn't have the white robe. Because one, it was like wearing the power of being a doctor.

So that was, that's come back to what I said before, just using the clothes with intention of the value of the emotion that you want to wear.  can impact how you're going to behave next  and what kind of action you're going to do. We all have those women that we wear this extraordinary, like there is this one specific outfit or piece that we wear and feel extraordinary. 

And in that specific day, everything like goes, it feels different. That's the thing. It's,  that's the thing.  Yeah. And I think you can also use accessories for this. Like I found that people, you know,  I have one daughter who puts on earrings.  Like, like, you know, clothing. Yes, it's great. She really worries about her clothing, but of course, teenagers, but the earrings that she chooses  really push it over the edge.

Like you could tell what emotion she's going for by the earrings she's wearing. And it's so much fun, you know, and then the earrings  decide on the hairstyle. And then she sits  in the mirror and decides, you know, how it should look. And then. It's amazing to see  how it really changes the person. 

It does. And it's also a way to be very creative.  It's giving you, it's giving yourself, to expand  on the creativity  just by playing because creativity is become to play.  You play with your accessory, clothes, how you say, the hair, the hair  is just trying something new and we are like, it's trying something, something new is to do there as well. 

Get out of the comfort zone. Yeah. There are so many things that can be done. 

This is fascinating and, you know, I'm making fun of my daughter being all like into her clothes and into her looks and whatever, obviously she's a teenager so this is totally normal and she's very, you know, cute. She's going to grow up to be extraordinary.  And I'm thinking about myself and how,  I don't want to say the word lazy, but I just don't care enough.

So there's things I care about and I, I like. You know, I got into a rhythm and I have  my go to outfits. And I also decluttered, oh my gosh, when I decluttered my closet with Rebecca Saltzman,  I got rid of something like seven garbage bags.  Of clothes  in my closet. I didn't know I had that many Okay, I didn't even know that closet could hold that much but it was crazy  first thing is I started making rules about what I want to wear and what I don't want to wear and I realized that Wearing anything around my waist was really annoying So I got rid of all my skirts And all my sweaters and shirts because I was like, I don't want to wear two pieces anymore and I changed to just dresses You  And it changed my entire life, you know?

Now I feel like it's so simple. I know when I go shopping, I'm not looking at skirts and I'm not looking at shirts.  I just look for dresses.  It simplifies your life.  It totally simplified my life. And I used to make fun of people who have like, uniforms. Like, oh, it's so square. It's so, lame. It's so whatever. But this isn't a uniform. It's just,  you know, simple, simplicity.  It's getting to know yourself.

And now I can breathe.  I didn't realize how physically uncomfortable I was with something around my waist. All the time.

It's it's just crazy. I used to have stomach aches as a teenager and like even after  and you know I remember when I was in high school they were doing all these tests trying to figure out why do I have stomach aches and at the end they were like you have nothing so maybe you just need to eat more fiber like that all they could come up with after all the tests.

I was like it doesn't make any sense that they tested everything and they couldn't find anything and I'm suffering. And then as I grew up and, you know, it took me a long time to figure it out. But when I changed out of my,  you know, two piece outfits and moved to dresses, which by the way, I thought was impossible if you're nursing and pregnant, like you can't do that.

But I found a way to do it. I use v necks. And they're so smart and so cool. But anyway, if anybody is interested, I have a hack. You should talk to me about it. And I feel very smart about it, but I like, wow, I found a solution that actually solved the problem. Of course it was, you know.  It was more than that because I gave myself permission to find what works for me.

And I let go of what is the norm and what I feel I have to do for other people. And, you know, there was a lot of process behind that process, but it was really fascinating. And I think it just goes really well with what you're saying. It's all about the psychology behind it and the fashion and the clothing and the physical and the emotional and the spiritual and like everything just sort of, yeah.

works hand in hand. 

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, For a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions And we extract the three main things that are holding you back I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations With practical steps  the call is free and so valuable in itself. So go book yours today Now back to the show 

 It's all connected.  It's just like, it's really, it's all connected. Everything that we do in some ways has a connection to one to the other. So why not  closing as well?  And as you said, you have done the declutter and at the same time, you work on the norms, you work on allowing yourself to let go.

You work on  Sometimes, it's just a tool,  like anything can be used to help you out,  to just feel good with yourself.  That's what we want, we want to feel,  we want to accept ourselves, to love where we are. That's,  yeah, that's to feel, yeah, to just accept who we are as we are, and  sometimes is to choose to wear a dress over skirts. 

and feel free to breathe.

I want to get a little practical. If a person's listening to our podcast, they want to know what can I do right now?  The one little thing that I can do to start feeling better about my clothes or to find something  about myself through my clothes. Where do we start? Would say first, have a look at your closet.  Just open the doors. Which one you want and  just look at them and how do you feel with what you see?  First of all,  is your closet or the clothes, folded, or do you have,  or do you have a big mess?  How do you feel when you open the doors?

That's it. Just do that. How do you feel? Write down the feeling.  Don't judge it. Don't criticize it. Just write down.  Then the next thing I will say to you, if you let go one piece,  just one piece,  what would it be? What is the piece that you would be ready today to let go of it?  Just even just to put it on the, on the box or on  the bag, something that is not in your closet, what is ready to take off your closet.

Third If you want to feel good, accept your body or accept who  you are, what would you wear?   Where are you attracted to take from your clothes right now? What attracts you? Go with that. Go with the flow.  That's it. It doesn't have to be gigantic actions like throw away all your clothes. They're like, no,  You are not there.

If you are ready to do that, good for you. Go for it. If you're not there,  start with one small little step,  that's it.  The next day you feel more courageous, take another one.  Next week you feel more, you know, it's,  you build up  one action to the other  and ask yourself,  Who am I? Who I want, who I want to be?

And how does this person wear  her clothes? If you don't know,  look at women that you are in your environment that's inspiring you. I'm sure that there is one woman that is inspiring you of the way that she, how she is.  Okay, what does she wear? I'm not saying wear exactly the same thing.  Use what you see.

To interpret it as you are. Is, does it make sense?  Say that again. Use what you see to what? Like, let's say I see someone that inspire me, okay? I don't have to wear, the way that she become, the way that she wear her clothes is not specifically, it's not me special.  Like I'm not going to wear exactly, but I can be inspired by the color, by the texture, by the accessories. 

And then use that and find my own way  to wear it.  And that goes with try and  fail in some way.  Like it's you try  again and again until you find your own way.  That is you. It's just discovering. It's discovering you. 

Yeah, you know, I love it because when we talk about Tzedakah, which is you know, giving charity,  there's a bigger power to given giving one little bit at a time than to give one big sum of money, right? If you just give one big chunk, You overcome yourself. You're like, take a deep breath, do this brave thing and move on.

But when you get used to doing one little thing at a time and every day, it's part of your routine to give a little, give a little, give a little, it changes who you are. You become a giver. And I think here, what you're saying is instead of going and doing this like gigantic overhaul of your entire closet and, you know, deciding that's it now, this is the time I'm going to just do it.

Instead get into a habit of asking yourself. What is one thing that I can let go of right now? and  Letting that be okay, and not having to feel like it's all or nothing  and that Next time you go and you look and you say oh, what else can I take out? and I found that in the beginning  it's easy because You take out the junk, right?

It's you go through your underwear drawer and you find anything that is ripped or stained or too old, or the stuff is just like, not really  elastic anymore. And so getting rid of stuff is a little bit easier in the beginning because there's also easier, lower hanging fruit, right? Like easier stuff to get rid of  you know, there, there was a time a long time ago when we had these like.

All the friends together we would empty out or, you know, get rid of whatever we wanted to get rid of. We would bring it all to someone's house and then everybody would take whatever they wanted.  And so it was like a swap. It was really fun.  And something that the woman was, who was in charge said that was really smart was when you get into a rhythm of doing swaps, let's say every month, Right.

So you're, you're conscious of getting rid of the first batch. So the first swap is a lot of garbage. Like really most of it, it doesn't really get taken. Then the next swap, people are going through their stuff again. They're like, Ooh, look, she gave away this brand new shirt that she never wears. 

Or she gave away this, dress that she wore twice and is not going to wear again. And so people start getting really, really good quality stuff from each other  because  the garbage is already taken out, and I feel like that's, that's the power of the muscle, right? When we start with little weights and it's like, okay, the little weights, not so heavy.

I can do a couple of these. And then a couple of weeks later, you're already at a higher, higher level weight, but you can already handle it because your muscle is stronger.  It makes me think about the same when you do therapy or coaching with the thoughts. At the beginning, there is all this blurring thought that the, the garbage. 

And then you get into the light and the beauty that is behind all   the clutter.  Right. Yeah. Yeah. The thoughts are definitely in the same category. 

And I think, you know, just in general, I think that's how life is. God created the world this way where we have these different layers.  And if you allow yourself to go there, you're going to find gold and you're going to be able to really find amazing things, but you have to let yourself start.

And I think starting is the hardest part. Yes.  is the harder because you it's like  you let go of who like it's really a step of saying I let go of who I was or the comfort that I have now.  And I go to where I want to go, but at the same time, I don't know the path. You know, it's not like you say, okay, bye bye.

And I know exactly where I go. And I have a GPS. You do have an inner GPS. Okay. We do have it  yet until we trust it,  until we trust it. The beginning is the first steps that you said  it's going into the the fog.  The fog. It's foggy at the beginning  until you have a sunny road. 

Yeah. Yeah, and I think one of the things that you do and, you know, I do and all of us do as coaches, is we help people who,  Are so afraid of the fog they're not even walking in there So it's like I trust you that you have the gps in inside you But I see that you can't trust yourself. So i'm going to give you some of  my confidence hold my hand and  let's walk through it together I think that it's just so powerful that we can use each other  As that power of togetherness and walk through the fog together, you know, because if I'm in the fog, that doesn't mean you're in the fog, right? You've already passed that stage and you've seen different things.

And so you can really lean into that. And I love that. And I bring that up really to remind everyone that you're not here to do anything alone.  You don't get extra credit for suffering and figuring it all by yourself. You get extra credit for being smart and working smart. You know, leaning on the people you can lean on  using whatever steps are there, whatever systems are there, whatever you know, anything that's a tool for you to simplify.

Go for it. Give yourself permission to let it be easy and don't make it have to be hard just because there's some like secret club for people who figured it out all by themselves, you know. She's laughing. 

I'm telling you, it just feels like that, right? In the beginning when you're you're so consumed by having  You're choking? Ugh. Yeah.  

Because it's so true, and I would say I used to be like that. I used to be the one to believe that I can do everything on my own, I don't need anybody, I am stronger, I am like extra, I can do it, and I did.  Yet the result was not as  extraordinary as  it could be by asking, asking, help, right?  And  sometimes by not asking help and trying to do everything and figure it out on our own, we just handed up doing the same.

It is. Doing the same thing and expecting a new result when someone, a coach, new me or someone else has a new  perspective, and not only perspective, just asking questions. It's just shift  and asking help  is not it's not a weakness. We haven't learned.

Let's be, we haven't learned. I can say about myself, I didn't learn to ask help. I didn't learn.  It was from a young age where I need to handle  my life because of circumstances. And so I did

but I know now that I don't need that. And  as we say, we are so stronger when we have the exchange of one of the other.  The learning, someone has learned,  has learned expense before you.  Trust, you learn also to trust someone. You learn love and condition love one to the other.  That's right. And showing the way. 

And it's so much beautiful, asking help is one of the most  humble  and strong act of courage  that someone can do by saying, you know, I, I, I don't know, like, I don't know how to   and saying, I don't know how to, it feels so difficult. Saying, I don't know, like your ego is taking like,  you know,  but acknowledging that is what is amazing because it opens so many doors and opportunity.

I don't know so that  someone else has the answer so that God helped me  to be with me because I don't know.  Right. It's so, it's so beautiful. You say you have goosebumps and it really is, you know, we're getting down to like the deep stuff here. And  I believe that a lot of the time  we, you know,  Who taught us how to pick clothing, who taught us what to wear, what not to wear, who made those decisions for us or who, who educated us about it.

Some people are just clueless. Other people just sort of try to figure it out and followed whatever was in style. You know, someone, you know, you might have a friend who was like, let me dress you. Let me teach you, you know, but really overall, there's no class about okay self confidence and how you want to wear, you know, what you how you want to look today How do you want to feel today?

You know, how does that person? Present themselves who does that who teaches us that so we expect ourselves to know things That we really have absolutely no clue about 

That's true. The expectation of us to know everything  and the perfections of being is such a big  burden in some ways.  It's a huge burden.  We need to figure out everything.  And then we beat ourselves up for taking so long, or to not figuring out. Or, you know, I don't know why I wear all black.

It just happens to be that that's what people said made people look pretty. You know, if you wear black you'll be skinnier. Okay, so then I just bought black everywhere. You know, it's like, but you're not  That doesn't make you happy. Well, who cares? They didn't say you have to be happy. They said you have to look skinny.

You know, there's, I'm, I'm, and I've heard this before. It's not like  there's like, there were some great magazines when I was growing up, teaching us a lot of very important skills in life  and You know, one of them was, are you a pear shape? Are you an apple? Are you a something else? I have no idea what I am anymore.

It's not really serving us.  It does not because we are not fruits, like we're not vegetables.  I can, I cannot compare myself to, to an apple. I am not an apple  or to a whatever, to to whatever kind of letter there is right now. I'm not a letter. I'm just me and, and our bodies.  All the bodies of people, there is not one shape, you know,  just spend one day looking at the body of women and women's in general,  no one has the same body just in the magazines, they find a way somehow.

It's called photoshop.  Yeah.  We find a way which is photoshop to have everyone have the same measures, look the same way, no matter what. Yeah. Yeah. In the reality,  no one is the same in the body. You cannot try to fit yourself in an apple when you're not.  You're not an apple. You're you. You're beyond the letter or  fruit. 

Yeah. Yeah. And also I think, you know,  because there's so many quote unquote rules that are going around,  we don't let ourselves do things that break the rules because, oh, that's not allowed. It's like, you can wear whatever you want. You know? I,  I remember there was something with like really shiny and pretty, like it had sequins and, and I wore it on a regular day and people were like, what happened?

What's so fancy? What, you know, what hit you today? And I was like, I don't know. It was just my mood. I was excited about this. You know, that's what I wanted to wear.  It's so strange that there's, for some reason, Something wrong about You know, breaking a rule or doing something against what is common, but I want to just, you know, give you guys permission, wear whatever you want. 

Exactly. But that's exactly the truth. Wear what works for you. It makes me, it makes me, it makes you feel good. You enjoy that. Go for it.  Who says, as you say, who says, okay, magazines.  Okay. The norms. Okay. Society. But you are not society. You are you.  Or everyone. I love when people say, everyone says, but who is everyone? 

Your mother, your father? Right?  Yup. Oh, this is fascinating. Okay. Mazal, how can people find you? Where can they work with you? This is just amazing. Like I, I want you to come over right now and  go through my closet with me. Seriously. I just like, ah.  I'm so excited. Yeah.  So you can contact me. There is the website there to wear yourself.

com Dare to wear yourself in Instagram Facebook. Yeah.  That's all the platform at the moment.  So dare to wear  yourself. Yes. Dare to wear yourself. com. Is that what it is?  Oh my God. I love the name. I love it. Dare to wear yourself. Whoosh.  Ah, so good. You guys see why I have her on my podcast. I am so excited about this.

It's such a good conversation because it's so necessary and  I'm really grateful that you were able to come.  Thank you for having me  and thank you for your openness  to new ideas.  Yeah,  thank you. Oh,  this is amazing you guys listening go look at your closet No judgment, what comes up? Let us know we both love to hear from you and Then pick one thing that you're okay putting away or giving away or throwing out one thing.

Just one thing and One thing that is your go to this really sparks me. This really makes me happy. I want to feel this And pick that out Those were the three action steps that mazal told us to take and I want to hear from you and I want to see  How  you do and this challenge because it sounds really fun and i'm actually going to go do it myself Thank you so much mazal All the listeners, make sure you come back next week for another amazing episode with more awesome guests.

And don't forget to be connected for real. 

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.