140. Planning Your Year

Join Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, marriage coach for women in business, in this new episode all about planning your year and setting yourself up for success. Plus get updates and info about all of the exciting things coming up! 

  Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

 And we are live! Welcome everyone to the Connected For Real podcast. I am Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman and I am so excited to be here today. I am actually recording live, like live, live. You guys are hearing this when I'm recording it. And, you know, maybe not immediately when, but very, very soon after I record this. 

And I'm excited about that because, as you guys know, I batched a lot of content before I had the baby. So now I can tell you all about it and it's gonna be really fun. Today we're talking about planning your year and the month of Elul, preparing for the new year.  We're also getting a bunch of updates and exciting things and I'm gonna talk about real life.

So let's get into it I'm so excited. Okay, so first things first  I had a baby Thank god a baby girl. She is so cute So delicious. She's five months old. Yes, time flies. I cannot believe it.  I feel like I went into a time warp and came out on the other side and suddenly it's like, oh, you're a big girl. It's been amazing.

I did have a home birth. It was planned. I had a midwife. I had a doula. There was a doula in training that came also. And I had two friends, a cousin and a good friend. So altogether  five women were supporting me.  And my husband was here too.  So it was a real experience and I'm really grateful and really happy.

And thank you God. So  now that we got that update out of the way let's talk about the new beginnings because yesterday was September 1st and  whoa, how overwhelming. It is to start new beginnings and especially this year we have every new beginning possible So if you are in israel, and you know the system here, so my daughter is five months old  she's starting she's already there she's starting my own which is a daycare  and i'm really really grateful.

We got  amazing mommies that are watching my baby. So I'm excited. And I have a son who's three who's starting Gan for the first time, and I have a daughter who started first grade for the first time, and there's some in the middle, but then, you know, then there's also a Bat Mitzvah girl, so she started middle school, and I have one that started high school, and yesterday I went to drop her off, and I almost cried, I was like, oh my gosh, this is crazy.

 Thank God. And she's dorming, which is crazy too, because it's our first one that's going out to dorm in high school.  And then we have one that graduated high school and went off to Sherut Luumi, which is National Service, and she's also in seminary. So she's doing a two part experience, and basically she's not going to be sleeping or taking care of herself.

I know we've actually spoke about this, and she's planning her days to make sure that she doesn't fall apart, but it's a really full day because you have a full day of work You know, 8 to 4, and then from 5 to 10, they have seminary, which they're learning and filling themselves up. So, that's a long day. I would want to sleep by 10, but no, it turns out at 10 they start making supper, and then they start eating supper, and then they hang out with each other.

So, I really, really pray for her that she gets into a really good rhythm.  So, yeah, as you see, we're starting every possible beginning. I guess we don't have college. So that's not the beginning we're starting, but yeah, we are in all the levels and all the stages having different shifts and it's been really, really interesting for me to watch and get all excited about.

And also for the kids to just sort of  feel a shift. There's  something new. One of the big differences in my life that affects me directly is the fact that two of my girls are out of the house for most of the week.  So unlike previous years where I had everybody sleeping at home, this is the first time that I going to be very much missing   my two big helpers.

So, that's a little bit difficult for me to wrap my  head around. Thank God I have a teenager that is still with me and she did not go to dorm. Thank God. She is so helpful and so good. So I am still not left all on my own. I'm still very grateful. I probably always will be very grateful which whatever there is because I've been I've been practicing that muscle for a long time.  But yeah,  it's a real shake  to the rhythm that we've had until now. And that's exciting. And it's okay that it feels shaky and, and a little bit weird.  Taking a deep breath,  regrounding myself.  It's all good.  And since we didn't really get into a rhythm yet, you know, September 1st, September 2nd They're like the beginning days.

So the kids don't go for a full day. They're still testing it out My baby is still only going for two hours a day and you know, just getting to know everybody I'm doing it very gradually Because I am nursing full time and she's my baby. So I'm not rushing into putting her there full day.

I'm just taking it one day at a time. And excited about what that brings. So that's updates about us. Let's see, what else we want to talk about? Planning your year. This is the topic of today. And the reason why I'm so excited about doing it today is because we are exactly. In the beginning of a new month, Elul.

And this new month is the last month before the new year.  And so really there are two days of Rosh Chodesh, which are the beginning of the month, which is a very special day. Tomorrow I'm planning, please God, that everything should work out. I'm planning on going to Jerusalem to the Temple Mount to pray for the new month, for the new year, for all the  hostages and the sick people and the soldiers and You know, humans all around the world  who need God's protection and salvation.

So that's my plan for tomorrow and I'm very excited about that. And especially you know, like butterflies in my stomach about going  because a couple of rules have shifted and now Jews are allowed to pray so I'm excited to actually pray openly and not have to mumble or things like that.

So that's going to be interesting. I'll let you know how that goes. So there's the beginning of Elul, which is the new month, but then the new year  Rosh Hashanah is Judgment Day. It's the day where the entire world, all the nations, all the people,  everything is judged. And then there's Yom Kippur, which is ten days later, and that is the Day of Atonement.

That's basically when everything is sealed. So between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur there are ten days of repentance. And basically between getting your judgment and the sealing of it, you know, the signing on it,  there's a little bit of time for us to get back to ourselves to almost try extra hard.

And so those 30 days plus 10 days make 40 days and 40 days is a significant time  In history, in life, in, you know, there is something significant to 40 days. Moses went up to the mountain for 40 days. He came down and was here for 40 days. Then he went back up for 40 days. So there must be something about 40 days.

Also 40 days before a baby is born. Their future is, is almost decided. So, you know, it is. Definitely something.  Some will say more than others. My husband says it's a very new thing that people do 40 days and,  people who are really into these

Milestones are very excited about the 40 days because it gives them a complete 40 days to feel Like they did something consistently So please don't feel like if you take upon yourself something that it has to stick forever I think that was the best advice I ever got from mrs. Stefanski who was my teacher in high school She said do it once You know, you have a feeling to do something good and then you're like, ah, but then I'll have to do it every day and you know, forget about it.

Just do it once. So you want to make coffee for your husband? Do it once. You don't have to start making him coffee every single day. That was her example, but I'm thinking about it from every other perspective. You know, you want to go live, go live once. It doesn't mean you have to start a podcast. It doesn't mean you have to do anything.

Just go and talk to the people who are listening. You know, you want to pray, pray once, it's fine, there's no pressure. And taking away the pressure of consistency is one of the biggest gifts that she was able to give me. Besides all the other things that she taught me and I love her so much. But yeah, that was one big takeaway is take away the pressure from having to make it stick and just do something now because it feels right.

Okay. Okay. So same with. The 40 days or the month before Rosh Hashanah, the new year.  Our goal isn't to We're going to completely change ourselves forever and have to perfectly stick to every little thing. You actually are going to be a lot more successful if you just try little things that come up, and you try different things, or you sit down and think about what you would like, and just sort of like experiment and play with it and don't take it too seriously, because it will stick forever.

More when you don't try hard to stick it. Okay, so  Give yourself a break from having to be perfect I know I'm talking to myself here, but this is really important and just test it out experiment have fun and See where it takes you. Okay,  so that is about the Preparation  and I want to speak a little bit more about the preparation. Also some of you have the guide to unravel overwhelm, but if you don't go get your guide It's at connected for real dot com slash guide Okay.

Connected for real. com slash guide is the guide to unravel overwhelm. And I know this is the season of overwhelm. So go get your guide. When I say this is the season of overwhelm, what went through my head is hello, every season is the season of overwhelm because we always have what to be overwhelmed about, and that's one of the beautiful things about the guide is it gives you something that you can do in 10 minutes.

and change your life. Okay. So  in any season of overwhelm that you are, please do this. It is so, so powerful. And when you're not in overwhelm, this same thing helps you thrive. So you're not going to have to use any new technology, quote unquote, to change gears or phases. You actually just grow with it.

Okay. So. Go get your guide. Enjoy it. It's a gift from me. It's actually not on the website anymore It disappeared from all of the things so you can only achieve  Getting it by going directly to the link. So good. Okay that was about the guide and let's talk about planning because a lot of my Amazing clients.

Oh my gosh. I have to tell you guys before I went on maternity leave. I Sold out on my private coaching program. Okay, it's called Balance for God's Sake and it was so successful. I had 12 spots open and I was like, yeah, maybe I'll get six. I ended up filling all the spots and even having to say no to someone because there was not enough room  and that blew my mind.

It was really, really beautiful and really fun to feel that excitement of selling out  What was really cool is that working with these women is incredible. Okay. So I've been working with them for  almost three months and we're getting close to the end of working together.  And one of the big things is that.

They want to prepare for the new year. They want to see what they can do in order to let it stick, in order to move forward, in order to thrive even more, because they've seen so much progress and they feel like there's so much that they were able to learn and achieve throughout the time together. And now they want to know how to let it stick, how to prepare for being on their own, prepare for.

Life, you know, in this new season you know, if you are in this side of the hemisphere, then you have new beginnings. So it's very exciting. So let's get into planning. The first thing I do when I'm planning for a new year is I open up my calendar and I go back to last year and I start to thank God for everything that happened in this past year. 

So much passed, so much happened, and we don't take the time to look back. And honestly, things feel like they were a million years ago when I look back and say, Oh, last year we had the holiday season and everything was so smooth. I'm so grateful that we were able to enjoy the holidays before the war hit.

Do you guys remember the war hit just this year, like less than a year ago? It doesn't feel like that. It's very overwhelming when you don't actually look at data, and your brain is in this fuzz of  everything is happening all at once, to just pause and say, thank you, God, for the things that we take for granted, right?

Like the war could have happened any other time. And God gave us that  special secret. Quiet time before, before everything hit.  Yes, I'm grateful that we are safe, you know, that everybody else that is safe is safe. I'm praying a lot for everybody who isn't and everybody who is wounded and sick and on the lines. 

I'm praying a lot for the soldiers.  I'm sure you are too.  And no pressure if you're not, that's okay. And if you want to just pray once, that's good too, right? Taking my own advice.  There's so much that happened this year. And when we go through the year, and we're like, oh, look at that. I had a baby this year. 

That feels like a million years ago too. It's almost like I can't remember.  Life before I had this baby because she's so part of the family already and she's so part of my life But yeah, sometimes you just get out of your own head and into the calendar and you go through the calendar and you're like Wow, and look we had this and we had that and I went out with friends and I you know, we had I don't know I took my kids out for ice cream and I wrote it down like the little things that are in your calendar That you can be grateful for also  the clients that you had, right?

I'm grateful for every single client. And by the way, when I go up to the temple mount to pray, I pray for all my clients, every single one just like I pray for my family because it feels like we're in this together and it's really beautiful.  And the nice thing is that one of them actually felt it.

And that, that's beautiful. When, when a client tells you like, I don't know what, but I feel like you really care. That feels really good. So I'm grateful for all the clients. I'm grateful for all the discovery calls that didn't become clients. I learned so much from them and they learned so much from me.

And by the way, a discovery call is a free call that you can have with me for 60 minutes where we go through all the parts of your life and all the different pieces and how we can find balance. I craft a roadmap and I actually tell you what you need to do in order to create that balance and I give you.

The steps that you need to take if you choose to work with me, then we work together. And if you don't, then, you know,  I feel complete and you go on your way to implementing the plan. So getting a free roadmap and actually talking it through is one of the most powerful experiences that you can have.

If you are on the fence and you're not sure if coaching is for you or if you want to work with me, go schedule a discovery call and find out. Right? I don't hard sell. I am so loving and so awesome when it comes to selling. So I will only take you if you're ready and if you want to succeed and thrive and this is right for you.

And if you know that you just want to do it yourself and you need the help,  just knowing what you need to work on, then go for it. It's my gift to you. Okay?  That was total tangent, but I'm so happy we said it because it's important for you to know that, you know, a lot of people say, I don't have the money.

I'm poor, whatever it is. And so I can't get help. Like, no, there's always help out there. Nice people are always along the road, you know, pointing you in the right direction. And I remember if you listen to my episode 100, I remember when I was like in that poor mentality and I didn't have the money and  everything was falling apart and I raised my hand and  I asked for help and I asked for coaching and I got it right.

Really nice people helped me along the way for free.  In order to help me get to where I am now. And of course I ended up going back and hiring them because when people are that committed to making sure that you are successful for no reason, just because they love you, then those are the people  you want to work with.

So one of those examples is Debbie Sassin. Like the first time I spoke with her, she just gave me  direction and she was very loving. And then afterwards I ended up working with her for six months and she put me on the right track. And I'm really, really grateful to her. You can listen more to the whole journey in episode 100 if you go back. 

Okay, so we're planning the year. What the first thing you do is go back in your calendar and look through everything. This is something that I got from Aviela Sasson, Zichrona Livracha, may her memory be  blessed. She was one of my mentors and I really, really love her. She taught me a lot about marriage and business and finding balance and living on purpose.

She was really special. So, Aviela Sasson, you go back in your calendar and you start thinking for every single page, and every single thing that's on that page. And you're going to be surprised at how many things happened this year, how many good things happened this year, how many hard things happened that you were able to overcome,  It fills you up and that's why step one is so important.

It really gives you that energy you need to move forward. It also fills you up with a lot of gratitude and a lot of pride. Wow. Look at that. I did that. Wow. Look at that. God.   It's such a beautiful thing, okay? And as another tangent, I want to talk about this for just a moment because I said it and now I feel like I need to say it. 

I did it versus God did it or, you know, God helped me and I did it. All that. But it, it's really, really important for you to realize that there's a saying  Eizehu ha'shir ha'sameach be'chilko, who is rich or wealthy, the person who is happy with his lot. And when a person is wealthy,  it feels like, you know, filled, content.

I am not in that mentality of grabby and needy and desperate. I'm really okay. Right? Right? And that comes from. Being happy with your lot. So  the classic meaning of that is be grateful, be happy with what you have. The more you focus on what you went through and what you have, you will be more and more wealthy in your mentality, in your attitude, in the way that you live your life. 

But when I think about it, and this is my own addition to this whole thing, is you know, the one who is happy with his lot in Hebrew, but he'll go is his part. So when you're happy with the part that you had in this experience, when you're proud of yourself, of course, God led you to this. And of course, God put that.

lack in the world for you to fill it. And you had to overcome and do and be guided and, and with God's help, you filled that lack. That feels amazing. Right? You feel so rich and so wealthy and so high level mentality wise,  mindset's like, Up high flying when you look back and see all the things you've done and all the things you've accomplished and all the things that you overcame because that turns on the chemistry in the brain that makes you happy.

That turns on the chemistry in the brain that says, Woohoo! Let's celebrate! Oh my gosh, this is amazing! We're not just sitting around being lazy, we're actually living, we're actually doing, we're actually achieving. It's amazing. So it all works together. Okay. God is the guidance. God is the one who put the lack in the world.

God is the one who put you in this world. He put that will inside you  to want to fill that lack. He gave you all the tools you needed in order to fill that lack. But at the end of the day, if you didn't put in the effort if you wouldn't care enough to do the work if you didn't take the actions you wouldn't actually Feel that fulfillment, right?

You wouldn't fill that gap and that lack and you wouldn't take the action it would just still be in potential and That's what makes you so happy and that's what makes you feel so aligned and so alive Okay, so celebrate yourself just as much as you celebrate God and his presence in your life, okay?  So that was important to me.

It was really important to say that and I'm happy you're listening. Okay, so 

This is so exciting, so Planning your year you went back you looked  you celebrated  And now I want you to look forward and start to dream. What is possible for this coming year? What would you love? What would make you so happy?  And when I was doing this, the first thing that came up for me is my birthday. 

So my birthday is right, right after the high holidays. You know, this year it comes out on Tuesday. It's the Tuesday after the high holidays. That whole month is holiday holiday holiday season and then everybody says after the holidays We're gonna start this that the other so I am right after the holidays like that is The time when I turn 40,  yes, I am, it's a big, big number and you know, I'm sitting here talking about 40 days and the number 40 and then realizing that I am turning 40 and that is a big deal.

As much as I don't want it to be and I'm like, oh, it's just a number. It's fine But I you know, there's so much about turning 40. It's the age of wisdom. I can't wait to Get an upgrade in my in my system. It's very exciting for me I feel like you know doors are opening and and there is a breakthrough coming.

So I'm preparing myself for that as well. It's very tingly inside. And for my birthday, that's the first thing I started dreaming about. Like, what is something I want to do? What is something that I wish for? And, you know, my mother was trying to give me ideas. Let's do something with the family.

Let's do something with this and that. And the truth is I really want to celebrate with the people who have seen me in my progress, have seen me become who I am. You know, the people who get me so deeply. And love me the way I am so imperfect and just showing up raw and sharing my real life. And so I am inviting you to come in person. 

and celebrate with me.  I thought what would be the coolest thing to do is a retreat, but I am not doing a sleepover retreat right now with the season of my life, with a baby, and also the season in the world with the war going on. I just don't feel like sleeping away from home makes any sense for a lot of us, and a one day event would be really fun.

So Organizing a one day event. I'm keeping it very small and intimate, so there is a waitlist.  You can email me and I will let you know how you can join that.  Or if you are on my email list, then you should get an email about it. Okay? And just click there. Join waitlist. I'm super excited about it.

I'm so excited. And that's part of the dreaming, okay? So the, you know, step one was look back. Step two is look forward. And it's about dreaming and thinking and really being honest with yourself. What do I really want? Not what other people are expecting. Not what other people think I should do. This feels really exciting to me to be surrounded by my friends, by the people who get me and not necessarily like my local friends who are, you know, with me every day and, and  I mean, I love you also, if you're listening, then you obviously know you're not just a local friend.

And that just did not mean to.  It just means that I have gone through a lot of growth and a lot of amazing things in the last six years. And some of you have been part of that. And some of you have been listening and witnessing that. And, and you're still listening, which means that you're here and you're appreciating that. 

And it makes me feel really special. So those are the people I want to surround myself with. The people who are with me on this journey and an in person thing feels really good because we're so connected, but disconnected. You know what I mean? I'm talking, you're listening. I have no idea who you are.

I would love to meet you in person. I would love to.  Just get a real in person hug  and just feel that closeness. So, I'm excited. Okay? Yay. Next okay, so we looked back to everything that happened this past year. We're looking forward to everything we want to happen in the next year. And It's really fun. I have a training in my program that's all about planning your year and then planning your 90 days. There's, you know, a lot of things that you could be doing in order to plan and I'm sure that you've heard a lot of different ways of planning.

But I really, really want you to base everything onto what you really want and get yourself in a place,  in a mindset where you can dream and see beyond what is possible in your eyes, okay? So, God is  He is the creator after all, and he can show you and help you get to things that you think are impossible.

So stop being so focused on the how, and just think about what you want and why you want it. Okay? Those are going to really get you very, very far. And in order to help you with this, I am running a live webinar. It's called How to Balance Marriage and Business for God's Sake. And it's going to be live on September 18th.

I'm doing it 8pm Israel time so that the Americans are able to come in their 1 p. m. time slot. Because usually I do things at 1 p. m. Israel, and then you guys have to wake up at 6 a. m., and I appreciate all of you who do that, but I do want to make it easier for you.  And also, you know, just because the kids are back in school and things are a little bit shifting, so I'm trying it out.

Let's see how it goes. No promises, but I'm excited about seeing how this time zone works. So, September 18th  at 8pm Israel time, 1pm Eastern, we're going to be meeting on Zoom and talking about how to balance marriage and business for God's sake. What that means is, you are a woman in business, you are married, and you are feeling all the feelings of having all those parts of your life sort of collide, and I want to make sure that they're not colliding going into the new year.

that you are in balance, that you know exactly what you need to do in order to move forward, that you know what's the next action you need to take, that you have the clarity you need, all that stuff we're going to talk about in the webinar. I'm going to teach you my framework for making decisions, for knowing exactly what to do.

It's really, really powerful. I think we are up to like 2, 000 people who have learned it already, so it's very, very exciting for me. Come join me at connectedforreal. com slash training.  And sign up for September 18th.  I can't wait to see you there!  Okay! Wow! This was an amazing podcast episode.

It feels really weird to be back here and record. I'm sorry I'm a little rusty. If you heard my, you know, shuffling and thinking while talking, it's because it's It's, wow, it's a real skill and a muscle to be able to come live and, you know, just be fully actively talking the entire hour. So thank you for bearing with me.

I feel so grateful. I feel so grateful and I want you to know that. So so grateful that you're here. I'm so grateful that you're a listener. You can have.  podcasts to listen to and it just feels really nice that you came and hang out with me. I can't wait to see you at the September 18th webinar, how to balance marriage and business for God's sake and invite your friends, connectedforreal.

com training and I can't wait to see you.  Let me know in the email. If you guys are taking anything away from today's episode, how it was for you, how it is to have me back live and, you know, fully present. I'm very excited about this and I will see you next time. Don't forget to be connected for real.

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.