148. Become a New You at 60

Naomi Guez is a former educator of 37 years in Judaic studies and Hebrew. She is Rabbis wife, mother of 4 children and grandmother and now works in resource development for Yeshivat Hesder Karnei Shomron. Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman is a marriage coach for women in business. Join them as they talk about how to renew and redefine yourself and your job at age 60.

 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

 And we are live  welcome to the connected for real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin, Bat-Chen Grossman, I am a marriage coach for women in business. And today we are talking about renewal and business, and I'm so, so excited to  introduce my mother,  Naomi Gez,  so Eva, introduce yourself and then tell us.

What you do, what you did, what you're up to, all the good stuff.  Okay. So hi everybody. My name is Naomi Gez I was a teacher for 37 years, and I was thinking about  the age of 60. What will be when I'm 60 years old?

I was thinking about it, and I said, It's enough to be a teacher till 60 years old.  it's really good to be a teacher. I had good time. I enjoy my students, the parents, I had good relationship. I was very creative and they loved what I'm doing, but I felt that when you are 60, it's the time to change, to renew your life,  to do something else.

There is more. Life is more than that.  I told my student that we're in third grade that since the age of six to 60, I'm going to school every morning at eight o'clock and I feel that it's enough. Not that it's bad, but it's enough.  And But Chen, with her group, helped me a lot.  It was really, really good.

I felt that I get it. tools and I get the road to do what I want to do because I knew in the big picture what I want to do but I didn't know how I get there  and it was nice because there was a group of ladies that were around 60 years old also, also younger, and it was very nice. We got homework, we had to think about.

And I discover that I am not  teacher Naomi,  that I am Naomi.  And I ask myself what it means, what it means to be Naomi.  And, you know, I talk to my principal in the school and she told me, I don't believe it, you live. I cannot see this building without you. And I told her, listen, I'm not only the teacher Naomi, I am Naomi.

And I'm going to discover what it means.  And she was shocked because, you know, when you are a teacher and you work in a team, you see yourself as your title and you forget that there is life  behind the building. And there is sun every morning, you know, you're so stuck between four walls and students and the setting is so comfortable. 

But on the other hand.  That's it.  Enough.  So, I was making a PowerPoint presentation to myself, and I wrote what are my fears, why people are afraid to leave their work, what it means to go to retirement, and I wrote all the aspects, and it helped me a lot.  Also the tools that Botchan gave me was very, very good because she was  talking about the next step.

I wanted to leave one place. I didn't know where I'm going. It was like to go to the ocean, you know,  and it was very good to have a vision  and I did a vision board and I began to think about what are my qualities, what is good in Naomi that I never used.  More than in class.  So  that's the introduction. 

That's beautiful.  I love that you're speaking about the identity because this is something that we speak about a lot is we know ourselves as a certain identity and we have certain parts of ourselves that are just part of me. This is who I am and beliefs that go with that. You know, I am a teacher and therefore I go to school every day at eight and I don't know anything else.

And I don't think I can. You know, experience anything else. So just for you guys in the, you know, listening and watching the background story is that I ran a mastermind. It was called find, and it had the four pillars. The F was for find God in everything. So bringing God into the situation.

The I was, I, now I forgot I'm going blank, but it was basically integrate your marriage so that you're not doing something and sort of leaving your life behind. The N was navigating business. So how to find the right tools, the right things, the right.  Direction to go. And then D is  deliver value.

Wow. I came up with all four. Good job. This was very long time ago.  I'm very excited. We had a group of six women and they were all different ages. It happened to me that there were three women who were 60 and that group and the interaction was amazing. And that's what my mother is talking about here.

We really spoke about expanding yourself and allowing yourself to become the next version of yourself without having to feel like you're giving up  a part of yourself or the past of yourself, you know, almost. welcoming all the parts of us and moving forward into the new reality. And that brings me to the question of what do you do now?

And what did you find along the way in this journey? Okay. So in the age of 60, I discovered that there is a world. name adults. 

And I never had interaction with adults but about talking about their children.  So I was all my life in this level that is beautiful and is very important and the full of values and full of responsibility. But since I decided that I finished this stage happily and with a good heart. I wanted to see what is the world of the adults.

And there is a yeshiva that is an educative  place.  like a college for men that approach and ask me to help them to fundraise money for a very, very important cause for a program for autistic children that they take for the weekend.  So from all over the country, they take children with disabilities, with autism, and they help the parents, they help the children, and they have a very, very nice program for them with full of people that are professionals  and a very nice team.

So I felt that I'm going to continue education. I continue to help children, but in a different platform.  And I asked Bet chen, how do I begin, like, I need the kind of you know, the, the computer, I'm very good in school with the computer, but how I continue to use the computer, and Bet chen really helped me with a very nice program, and I learned from her, and  I work now, I,  I can say I'm almost expert.

No, but yeah, you're definitely there. Yes. Yeah. And I surprised myself that the skills that I had all my life. I didn't know that I can transfer them. To a different platform. So I have very, very much a good relationship with people. I am a people person. I trust people, people trust me. I know that values are very important to me.

And I talk with people about values and people want to donate.  And if I stay in class.  I don't know that I can do it.  So I'm very, very happy that I did this step  and it's a big decision, but I'm happy that I decided to do it and I had the faith  in God.  First of all,  I had the faith in God that he will guide me  and I got the faith in myself. 

And I trust, but can to help me in the group. And they feel that I did the right decision because  in my staging life and in my age, I feel that I'm like a butterfly now.  Yeah.  And it's beautiful because it makes all the sense, right? A lot of women get to a stage where it's. rediscovery. You know, that's that there is something that is in me that's calling me that feels like it wants to come out and I just don't know how.

And because there's so many years to look back on and all the experiences were very afraid to make a change. And we also have a lot of beliefs in the background that hold us back. You know, Oh, I tried that. I can never do that. Or I'm not good with, you know, computers, or I'm not organized enough or whatever the belief is that's holding us back.

And then When we can work with,  you know, with someone who's guiding us and showing us, yeah, you can do it. You could totally get there. Let me show you how it's so fun. One of the funnest things was that in the group, my mother was very active. Everyone was, it was very good group.  And one of the feedbacks I kept getting is.

It's not because I'm your mother. It's really good stuff.  And that made me very happy.  I must tell something about my vision about life.  Because when I told my students that I'm 60, everybody told me, Oh,  you look 25.  Oh,  you look so young.  And I told them, listen, I don't believe in all this. Do me a favor. 

Respect your age. Live your age. Don't try to be what you are not. Don't go back. Don't, I want to stay. I want to stay. No, no, no. Go with your age. Go with life. Enjoy life and appreciate your years. Appreciate what you have. And  I, I say that every birthday, it's a gift. And every birthday, it's something to celebrate and to say, Thank you God, you gave me another year to live.

It's a gift. So why to say I'm 25 when I am 60? 60 gifts you gave me, and they say 25 gifts?  So this is my approach to life, and I think that if we respect the age and we respect the stage in life, we can go and enjoy and finish a stage and to say this is a stage that I finished, I appreciate, I loved, I did my best, I was creative, I was good, but I want to do more.

And something that I don't know, I want to jump  to a different platform. And this way, you go from one thing to another in your life and you change and you renew yourself and you renaissance. 

And by the way, this is the story anybody who asks, Oh, you look so much younger. This is how I grew up. This is, this is, you know, you can, you can see where it's coming from. My mother says she's a people person and I'm thinking  now they're not wondering anymore why I'm like that. You will not, you will not see on my face any.

thing to, to show myself 25, believe me, I respect my age. I love my age. I thank God for my age and I'm looking forward every year to, to be older and older.  That's life. That's life.  Thank god, this is so beautiful. So let's talk about the listeners. They're thinking Yeah, it's very nice that you have  You know The right people in your life or the support or whatever but I don't have that or I don't know how or i'm stuck or i'm feeling  Too old to start.

What advice do you have for them?

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, For a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions And we extract the three main things that are holding you back I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations With practical steps  the call is free and so valuable in itself. So go book yours today Now back to the show 

 Okay.  So I say like that You make a circle I will show you you make a circle  You see she's a teacher. And  in the middle of the circle you write I because you are the center of your life Nobody can think can feel can believe In you, if you don't believe in yourself and then  you write 

all the areas of your life,  all the areas that you know,  right? What you are,  who are you? You have to know who you are.  And  it's a process. It's not easy. It takes days. It takes weeks.  I did my presentation that I did to myself during two years  because I was really in a process of discovery, who I am.

I tell you, I was in a class all day. I came back. It was a routine, a routine that I, I didn't know who I am besides being a teacher. And you know, you manage your life, you're a teacher, you have a title, you have a place in the community. Everybody knows you as a teacher. So it's, it's so like a blanket, you know, you are very, very. 

confident in your place so many years and I had mothers in my class that were my students. Can you,  can you imagine? So, you know, they used to see me and to say,  teacher in two years, you will have my child, you know? So it was like, I was part of the system  and it's like Lego. Don't take this brick from the Lego.

I was a part of the brick  and I asked myself, Who I am, really, really, really, who I am. And I  decided who I am. I had to give the answer to myself. So this is very, very personal. It's not something that you have to show to somebody. You show to yourself, what are your strengths?  what you are good in. 

Perhaps you know to write very nice, you have a vocabulary, if you are very social, if you are very talented in something, if you know to cook, I don't know, everybody is different. I didn't know where I'm going, but I knew that I want to work with people,  to be involved in the community, so  God gave me this job. 

But That's my my advice To believe in god and to believe in yourself and to ask yourself very very hard questions You have also to know if you have the means Economically if you can afford it if you have a retirement plan What is your situation? These are things that you have to think about  and  that's my answer  Yeah, I think the coolest thing that happened was that  You prepared yourself  and then the opportunity showed itself, right?

Now it was, the process was from within, which is my favorite way to work with people is instead of grabbing and looking and forcing and controlling, what we did was we prepared the ground, we opened up the container and said, it's ready to receive as soon as it was ready to receive. It just came and it blew my mind because, you know, as much as I see it with all of my clients, it's fun to see the behind the scenes too, you know, because I get a lot more to see when it's my own parents.

So this has really been a fun experience. You are right, Bat'chen, because there are two parts that are not connected. And this is good that they are not connected. Where I am going from and where I am going to.  So, where I am coming from  is one thing and it's a chapter by itself. I told you, it took me two years to write where I am coming from.

And then  where I'm going to, what is my vision? What is my dream? But it didn't depend one in each other because  I would not have the courage to leave the school  if I had to have another job. So I wanted freedom. I wanted peace of mind. I wanted to be myself, to feel who I am  and to, to feel life. 

And  not to depend in the next step.  And you really helped me a lot to put my head in the right place when I was in this peace of mind. Yeah. It's really beautiful. Thank you for sharing all this.  I love it.  Thank you. Is there anything else that you would like to share?  There are so many things. 

So let's talk about this. Very early on in my business,  I posted on Facebook telling people that I can help them  and putting my offer in a group of women who I knew were women in business. And I said, you know, I, I help you with your marriage and I help you with your business and I, and  it's the inter interaction and intersection between the two.

I'm not just a marriage coach. I'm a marriage coach specifically for women in business. And she started telling me in the comments.  I could be your mother. You can't help me.  I married whatever X amount of years and blah, blah, blah. And I said to her,  Oh, okay. So give me a couple of years. I'll grow up and then I'll be older than you.

You know, like that doesn't make any sense. I'm never going to be older than you. What are you waiting for? You know, we arrived to an age. that  all the young people are the people that will tell us what to do.  And now I am in this age,  the drivers are younger.  I'm driving, in the street.  All my students are drivers.

So, you know, every place you go, it's your students that are managing the world. So it's also part of  Maturing and understanding what is the world about and that's what we wanted. No, we educate children to be adults. So I understand this lady, but Grow up.  And this is part of life. This, you know, you go to a doctor that can be your daughter. 

So what? She's not a good doctor. She's a good doctor. She went to school and she knows what she's doing. So this is the process of life. This is the process of life. We are not young anymore. We are in our age and life is progressing. You know, the news in the, in the radio, it's not the same people that we used to hear when we were young.

 It's young people that are talking in the radio. And you tell yourself, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. What are these children talking about?  And they give you the news. They know everything before you. So this is life. We have to understand. And you know, Bethchen, you asked a question before and I wanted to say that it helped me a lot.

 It was about  when you talk about marriage, I learned from you a lot. Although I am your mother and your father is my husband,  but you know, I  learned from you something very nice that my business is my business. His business is his business. And we don't have to depend one in each other and to mix and to, to, you know, to mishmash. 

That it's very nice. You gave me this vision that you have your life, you have your business, you have your problems, you have your world, and you don't have to to mix and  to do a salad of all your life.  You have to solve a problem with yourself that is yourself, that is something about your business, about your  being, you know, so solve it. 

 And this I really learned from you.  I learned from you a lot about God's business, your business, and his business.  And Wow.  It's like a title that everybody has to put on the refrigerator because you know, life is much easier when you hear something and suddenly you say, is it my business? 

Is it God's business?  And then  you take it out of your brain. Why to bother about things that are not your business? It's not in your control. And also in my life, I have to ask myself, is it my business or God's business? If it's not in my control, I have to believe in God and to say he will take care. I love this sentence that say, don't tell God how big your problems are.

Tell your problems how God is big,  right? How big that is. I love that too. I love it. I love it. And it's true because we control only the reaction to our problems and challenges. That's in our control. We have challenges, we have problems, so we have to understand if it's a problem that you can solve or you cannot solve, and what is in your control, but not to begin to  break your head and to say, Why I have this problem.

Why you have this problem? This is the challenge that you have. Everybody has a challenges and then testing his life and this is it.  So not to complicate life more than it's complicated already.  I love that. And I think one of the things that you said about this woman  who commented on Facebook. 

I could be your mother. How could you help me?  I think that  growing up and this I learned from you and I do this with my kids now, you can learn from anyone, right? You can learn from anyone at any age, at any stage, because you are looking to learn, not because they have something  higher up than you or, you know, leg up than you.

Nothing. It just has to do with You are a learner and you will find lessons everywhere and I remember growing up and feeling  That confidence or that, you gave us the feeling that  whatever we had to say actually mattered. And it wasn't dismissed because we were little or because we were kids or because, Oh, what do you know?

You don't have any experience.  Every human being has his own vision on life and feelings.  You know, you see a tree in the street, everybody sees different things. One is looking at the shape, and the other  at the sky in between the leaves. And one is looking at the colors, and one is looking at the trunk, and one You have to respect every, every opinion and it's not a age matter, no.

You know, I am a teacher. I,  if I don't appreciate my students, so what I'm doing there, of course. And it's written in the books also that you learn from every, every person, but the most you learn from your students.  Because the process of learning, the process of learning is teaching you how the brain, the human brain is working.

And everybody has a different brain and you have to respect  every brain and to respect the process. Of thinking. And this is the beauty of life.  So yeah, I think that everybody's smart. Everybody's smart. Everybody see the world in different angle. And that's what to be a people person, you know,  Right.

To be able to see that and appreciate that. It's so beautiful. And I can, so I can totally relate to the principal who said, how could you leave us? Life would be so different without you. Because. You know, having a teacher that can see Children for who they really are and appreciate the way of thinking and their way of being is something very special.

And so, you know, whoever was your student is definitely Very lucky. And but I continue with art. I do some classes off polymer clay and jewelry making and also experiment with colors and texture. And, you know, I appreciate  the work of the of the Children and the way that they  touch  right?

Yeah, actually, it's really fun because my kids now get to enjoy that. So   I see that also from this angle and it's fun. I think this is such a fun conversation. You guys, anybody listening?  I see that there's some people live. It's so fun. You know you always think to yourself, like, how did I get here?

You know? Like you're a teenager and you suddenly get engaged, married and like, now I turn around and I'm pregnant with my eighth child. Like what's going on? Right. And I'm talking to you.  I must tell you that you are your own person. Like,  I don't feel that I can take credit. You know, of course, as a mother, I raised you, but.

You are your own person, you are your own character, your own,  whatever you are,  it's you. And I appreciate that. And  I learned from you a lot.  Thank you.  Thank you. This is really fun. Anyway, what I was saying is I find myself suddenly in that stage where I'm interviewing my mother and I'm thinking, wait, you know, I have kids the age that I remember myself. 

You know,  it's so strange. I'm, you know, it's a double take or it's like I have a 17 year old. I remember myself being 17 and having discussions with my mother about certain things. I'm still in high school, my dear. 

I don't believe it that I am the teacher when I did so many things to my teachers in high school, you know.  When I was a teacher in high school, I felt like I want to sit with the kids. What I'm doing there as a teacher, you know,  I understand them.  Yeah, it's so relatable. It's been so fun. Oh, this is so wonderful.

Okay. Tell us how people can find you, how they can donate to the cause. One of the things I love so much is that  these. Students who are sitting and learning and studying Torah and, you know, being very serious are also doing the army and they're also volunteering on weekends like they don't go home instead, they stay and they volunteer.

I think that's something that you don't find often, especially not with the young adults, you know, the older teenagers, young adults, right?  When you think about an 18 years old boy that just finished high school  and you think about the responsibility and the love for children that need so much attention, 25 hours of attention,  and  you tell yourself, This boy will be such a good father  and will be so responsible in his job  and will be such a good husband. 

So it's all a package, you know, it's so nice to see these young boys that are taking care of all these children.  So yes, I'm very honored to do this. And there is a link in the, in the chat.  Yeah, we're gonna put the link also in the email and down underneath in the show notes. If you would like to get in touch with my mother, or if you'd like to donate, there will be links there for you.

Thank you so much for being with us. And is there anything else you want to add?  That I wish you a good luck and continue to do good things to the world. you make a big difference and thank you very much. I really appreciate. And I, I say it as a professional, not only as a mother that you help me a lot and also the group and they see how you work and I really enjoy it.

So thank you.  Thank you. Thank you for being part of it. It takes a lot of trust. May God bless you. Amen.  Amen. It takes a lot of trust to join a group that your daughter is running. And especially when it comes to marriage and business and things that get, you know, some people would say, Oh, I would never work with family when it comes to these issues.

But actually it was fascinating to see how much you can grow and learn. Without getting into details about personal information. No, you're not pushy and you're not like no, you, you, you give a room and space, you just give the tools, but you don't enter to the,  you know, to the subject. So it's very nice. 

Yeah. You give room.  Thank you for being with us. This has been extremely special to have my mother as one of the guests.  And I look forward to seeing you guys next week at the next episode, so make sure you stay connected for real.  Thank you very much. All the best.

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.