176. How I Manage My Time to Achieve Success

Come along with me, Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, as I talk all about how I use my time successfully. This solo episode is all about Time and Business, with some tangents along the way. Hear some of my personal stories and how they all circle back to time management, and allowing myself to accomplish what I plan for myself. 

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 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

 And we are live!  Welcome, everyone, to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and today is a little bit of a special, different episode, so I am very excited that you are here listening. Today, the topic is time and business. And you guys know that I have four pillars around here.

The first one is God. God is at the core, then we have marriage and business working together, and then you as the container that holds all the parts of you. So those are the four pillars. And the way I  created a structure for my podcast is that every month we pick a topic, and then we talk about that.

 Topic from four different angles, so we already had time and God, time and marriage. And now we're talking about time and business. And I was supposed to have a very awesome guest, but her schedule didn't work out. And I forgot to follow up. And suddenly we turn around like, oops, we're supposed to be. 

dropping the episode in the podcast, but it hasn't been recorded yet. So I got in touch with her. I was like, can you do it this week? And she couldn't, not only that, she couldn't find any time even to do it later on in the year. So her timing didn't work out and I thought to myself, okay, then I guess we're not having a podcast episode for time and business.

But then I thought again, and I thought to myself,  What if you're sitting there thinking, Oh, I can't wait to hear what she has to say about time and business.  And you're going to miss it if I don't go live. So here I am going live alone, no guests this time. And I'm really excited about it because I have a lot to say about time and business. 

And even though I think it's really fun to have guests,  I think it's also really fun to be with you. Right now  and Not have to share you with anyone  okay, so That's one thing we're going to talk about time and business the other thing I want to make sure that you know about before I get into time and business is My training that is coming up this Monday.

So if you are listening live today is Thursday and Monday this coming Monday,  I am running  a free training called how to stop fighting with your husband about your business. Now I know  I keep coming up with these awesome trainings and it's because I keep hearing the same things over and over again.

And I have committed to show up and help as many people as possible,  bring God's presence into their home. And when you are fighting with your husband about those little annoying, pesky things that just keep coming up and they're getting at the fibers of your marriage, you know, making a decision 

not making enough money, making more than you expected  and now suddenly  the energy shifts and you're making more money than him or you're supposed to be making money and you're putting in all this effort in your business and you're not making the money yet and your husband's losing patience and all these little things that People who are not in business may not know about or think about or see,  but when you are in business, you know what I'm talking about.

And you know that sometimes your husband thinks he knows better and he's trying to give you advice and you just. don't feel it because it's your business and you want to do it your way. And maybe you don't trust yourself to make a decision because you've always just leaned on other people for making decisions.

And so you're having a hard time with the. advice you're getting from him, but you're also not really sure how to make your own decision. So it gets really like,  uncomfortable  to be having these discussions and these conversations and these fights. And maybe you don't see them as fights, but when you think about it, you're like,  frustrations.

You know, they cause resentment, you're angry sometimes, you're annoyed, you don't feel heard, you don't feel seen. So you know, just today someone said, we don't fight about the business. We fight about other things.  And I thought, okay, why are you fighting? Like, why do you need to be fighting?  And then I thought, let's stop that.

Stop fighting. Let's stop fighting. And so the training is called how to stop fighting with your husband about your business. It is specifically for you. And you know who you are. And you're going right now, like, okay, give me, give me the link. Where is it? So the link is connectedforreal. com slash training.

And you're going to go right now and sign up because it's that good. I am so excited about it. I'm really excited.  I'm doing this sort of  on the fly, but also overthinking it, you know, like when you have too much time to think about it, so you over plan, but then your brain isn't really on board until the last minute because there's a deadline and then you get into it.

So that's, that's what's happening with me right now. I've been thinking about it and like, really perfecting it for a long time in my head and now that I actually have to get my act together and yes, it's on Monday I'm getting new ideas and I'm getting all excited and suddenly I'm like so productive So I can't wait to see you there.

Please please come live because live is So awesome. And if you've ever been live to any of my things, you know, there's a lot of really cool stuff that happens behind the scenes before I  press record sometimes after, so definitely something that is worth. trying to be live for. Also just the energy is different.

It's so cool. If you can't make it live, yes, we will have a replay and it will be sent out to those who register. So go register at connectedforreal. com slash training  and let's get into time and business. So People ask me how I make time for business when I am a mother of eight children and I have a husband and a home and a life and a bunch of other things I'm doing and  I wonder 

So, let me just tell you I am sitting right now upstairs in my parents apartment that is empty right now because my parents are coming back next week. And this is the only reason why I can do this now at this hour and not have little noise around of little people walking around trying to get things from the kitchen and from the living room and from all different places.

So, you know, that's a whole other Can of worms, if you want, we can go there. But so I'm sitting here and it's raining outside and I'm thinking, 

I almost didn't do this.  I almost didn't go live. I almost gave up on this and. Everything was already like, you know, sort of done. We went through supper and washing the kids and putting them to sleep. And, you know, I try to do from youngest to oldest. Usually that's just cause the youngest ones  go to sleep earlier  and they need more of my attention.

The older ones are more independent. Also, I don't put them to sleep. They sort of just like.  Happen to go to sleep when they do   and I put everybody to sleep who I needed to put to sleep and we set everybody up and my husband said he's so tired. He's going to sleep early and he was in bed before eight. 

And I thought, Oh, I can do that too. I could just close down everything and go to sleep. I don't have to go do the podcast Like, maybe I could just cancel it. I'm the boss.  And I was like, this close to just walking out and being like, Nah, forget about it. I'll just go to sleep. But, there was a part of me that really wanted to show up for you guys, and also, a part of me that is a night owl, and thought to myself, What a waste of a night.

Like, Wow, I have all this time, and this is when I get most creative and most Fun is at this time of night,  and only since I  became a mother that I lost that night thing, you know, and I had to start waking up early and taking care of the kids. And so I had to go to sleep early,  but like these are the hours I love to hang out.

 And do things and get things done. So I thought, how can I set myself up to succeed both ways? So, wake up tomorrow morning really early, just like I did today, and most other days, because I have one very, very early riser. My three and a half year old wakes up at like 5  or 5. 30. And it's so early and I know you guys if you think about it, you know All these people are like wake up at five o'clock in the morning and have a morning routine It's nice if you can have a morning routine but not if you have a three and a half year old  running around the house trying to like destroy everything before it's even daytime.

So not happening. So we try to buy as much time as we can. So anyway, how do I set myself up to wake up tomorrow morning and feel refreshed and not feel like I stayed up all night and did things and, you know, So on and so forth.  And I thought, what if I shower and brush my teeth before I go upstairs to do the podcast?

And then I'm ready to go to sleep whenever I feel tired. I'm not going to ignore it. I'm not going to push it off. I'm just going to go close my computer and go right to sleep without having to do anything else. And that's what I did. And this is like, feels like a total secret. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I told you guys.

But it's so cool. It's so cool when you can suddenly think creatively and a little bit out of the box. Like, what do I actually want to do and what actually needs to get done? And then how do I rearrange my schedule to work for me in a better way? So  I showered and brushed my teeth and flossed. I mean, flossed first and then brushed my teeth and I put on my pajamas, and then on top of that, I got dressed. 

I remember when my brother used to do that because it was so cold. He used to get dressed over his pajamas because he would go to school so early in the morning on a bus, on a, you know, school bus.  Anyway, so back to what we're talking about.  I feel like this is a total win. I ended up coming up here. In the rain, okay?

In the rain. I actually have to walk out of the house, go around, walk up the stairs, go into the house, set it up, because nobody's here.  And press live, right? And so,  I did all that, and I showed up in a way that feels really good. And I'm telling you about it, which is very authentic, because  That's what I'm all about is just telling you about what I'm actually doing and not holding back on behind the scenes stuff And  it feels really good.

I feel really proud of myself That I was able to do that, you know, just figure out my time. Now, there's a lot of time management stuff out there, and there's a lot of ways that you can use your time more effectively and more efficiently and more productively and all those cool fancy words. And I want to tell you a secret.

At the end of the day, time is about trusting yourself to do the thing you said you were going to do at that time. So It's setting things up, right? You can have a calendar and you can have a to do list and you can have hopes and dreams about what you want to do. But then when it actually comes. 

And you're like, I don't feel like doing that.  This is where it actually gets really interesting. Are you going to trust yourself that you can do it? If I said I was going to do it, then I'm going to do it.  Will you keep your own promises to yourself? Like you keep your promises to other people, which is a huge.

huge thing to talk about because if let's say we had a zoom together, you would show up, right? Like you wouldn't want to let me down and you wouldn't want to miss out. So you would push yourself and you'd be like, this is a priority. I'm going to make it work. But when you set a deadline for yourself, or when you set something for yourself to do, are you actually going to keep it?

Because you're not letting anybody down. It's just you and you. And this is where the trust thing comes in, right? It's like, can I trust myself to treat myself like I treat others?  

So I recently heard a podcast by Brooke Castillo called Monday, hour one, and she was talking about the way that she plans her week, her days, whatever. And basically what she does is she takes the first hour of the week, which is Monday, hour one and uses it to plan the entire week.

Now I have to be super honest with you.  I have not been. That intentional about planning my week for a long time, probably a couple of months. I have a really good system. I teach it to my clients. I have a time management training. Inside the course run your business like God runs the world and we talk about why God created time and what is time all about and how God wants us to use our time because time is a concept that he created for us to grow and to figure things out.

It's really cool. It's an amazing training and actually I'm really proud of it and I get really practical like I go from that like high high deep place all the way  down to the practical of what I do what works for me what may work for you Here are some ways that you could change it if it doesn't work for you but I  I've gotten so much amazing feedback on that training and I know it works because anytime I go back to using my system, I get so much done.

And I think the reason why I stopped using it in the last, I would say,  It's just because I'm still dealing with and you know, I well you can't call her a newborn She's almost a year old. Do you guys remember I had a baby a year ago? Oh my gosh, if you are a listener for a long time and you're sitting there going.

Oh What she is one years old. Yes next week. She's turning a whole year And I'm sitting there going, how did that happen? So, I'm feeling a little bit postpartum y about this, and having this like, you know, brain fog of, I just want to not plan my time a little bit, and be okay with that. And so I'm letting that be okay, and I'm also telling you it's okay if you want to take time off, and not have to be on top of everything all the time.

And what I love about this, this is just another, Great example of how systems can save your life in a situation like this, where you have a life and you have things that come up and you have like, you know, just a lot going on and the muchness that I love the way that Becky one of my very, very early guests, she called it, there's just so much muchness, you know there's just, that's exactly how you describe it.

There's a lot going on and thank God. And so  with all that, this is a great illustration of how your systems. are here for you. They're here to hold you and support you and be the framework for you to sort of fall apart into and not have to worry that the whole business is gonna fall with you. So I let myself fall apart a little bit by not planning my days as strictly and just sort of just like showing up to one on one calls, showing up to my coaching calls that I have a coach I go to.

You know, showing up to the things that are on my calendar and really being very good about those, but also not being too controlly and intentional about  the pockets of time that I could just chill or that I could just be or that I could just Cook or, you know, I've made cookies. Recently before Purim, I made a ton of hamantaschen.

And one of the cool things is like, I remember when we got married, my husband loved this filling that was made out of prunes and it was called lekvar and it's just an American thing. I've never seen it in Israel. I've only seen it in New York when we got married  and he said it was his favorite filling. And ever since we made Aliyah, which was a 17 years ago, 17 and a half years ago,  I've never seen it anywhere. Like the filling itself I've never seen.

And I just felt like it was such a big hassle to  make it yourself. I don't know. I just left it.  And so for, you know, you can imagine for the last  18 years, my husband's just walking around complaining about the fillings, you know, who eats chocolate, who eats this, who eats that? Like, you know, the, the.

What's it called? Parag. Poppy seed. It's like such an Israeli thing to put puppy seed, and I love puppy seed  in hamantaschen. My husband's like, what?  How could you? Okay, so this, these are the things we fight about is like the filling in the hamantaschen. So to the point  I took time to just A whole morning of making the dough and making, filling from scratch and, you know, boiling it so that it's like nice and thick so it could go into the thing and, and, you know, whatever, filling it and making the little circles and making the little triangles and da da da da.

It was so much fun. It was so much fun. I cannot tell you how much fun I had. Like, I'm, I'm thinking back  and this is a total tangent, but  maybe it helps you hear it from other people. But you know how everybody has like their favorite holiday? So Purim is not my favorite holiday. You know, I think Pesach is definitely my favorite holiday.

I love Passover. It's one of my favorite, favorite things in the world. And I think it's intentional, something about the way that we as a couple decided to make Passover our favorite by living it and really  making it something it makes me excited every time just to think about it, but anytime I think about Purim, not so much.

And I think it has a lot to do with  happiness, right? Like. The whole topic of Purim is happiness  and everything turns around the story, whatever. I love the story. I love Esther.  I love the concept of Purim, but then the execution really, really gets to me. Like. I am not into the whole  dressing up and having to run after like, what am I going to pack?

And what am I going to this? And I'm just, I think what the problem is that many years and I've had successful years where I felt good about Purim because I felt good about myself. But for the most part, Purim makes me feel like a bad mother, you know, like, I think it has this power over me that I'm like, not on top of costumes. 

So then I don't get the good stuff. And then I try to go to like the rentals and their stuff is not good enough for my kids or the whatever, like it's not the right size. It's ripping. It's blah, blah, blah. And why didn't we think of a family costume thing and why didn't we get it in Amazon? And why don't we this and that, whatever.

And honestly I think this is part of  becoming more and more authentic with my kids. About how I am, I've pretty much made it very clear.  A bunch of years ago that I do not plan costumes, right? like they used to expect me to do it for them and to do it with them and to think it through and Oh, you know my friend's mother they do this that and the other i'm like, I am not your friend's mother.

We are not Doing this so anyway,  I became very clear that I don't do costumes I just don't you you guys can figure it out yourselves. And so they do they've been thinking ahead and Planning their own thing and doing with friends and just having fun without me, which is great This is a real big relief for me as a mother But also, you know, all the other things, the details of, like, you have to get presents for teachers, and you have to, you know, think of what you're going to give all the neighbors, and you have to make it nice enough but not too fancy, and now no junk food because I hate junk food, and why are we buying junk food to give junk food that we don't want to receive? 

Anyway, there's a lot of things I could say about Purim.  But, thank God Purim is behind us, and also, this year, I was intentional about Purim, and I said, this year I'm going to be happy, no matter what. And you know what? In the morning, I put on a smile, and I got dressed up, and I went, and heard the Megillah, and I did all my mitzvot, like, I did  all the things we have to do on Purim! 

I did them all, and I did them all with a smile, and I even got and then I went to sleep and I had a nap, which was incredible and  it was fine. It was awesome. It worked out. So I don't want you to think I'm complaining and I'm like annoyed and I can't make it work. I did.

And I can. And. Every year I get better and better at figuring out what works for me and what I want to do. And also  I had years where I got really into it and I loved it because I was really hands on.  There was one year that I really became intentional about loving Purim and I made everything.

I made cookies and I gave  these like really cute designed Packaging with the cookies inside, and it was with the recipe, and I illustrated the whole thing. That was really fun! But then, you know, this year, I'm sitting there going, I don't feel like doing any of that. Like, I don't want to make cookies, I don't want to pack them, I don't want to print them.

Like, you know, it's like a different season of my life.  As I said, I'm postpartum. Which sounds funny because it's already a year, but do you know that according to the Jewish tradition, Postpartum is for two whole years. So give yourself a break, take a deep breath. I know some of you are sitting there going, my last baby was like 15 years ago.

That's fine. You still get to have brain fog once in a while. I give you permission, but I'm just saying sometimes we are very hard on ourselves and I don't want that for you. Just. Love yourself. Okay, give yourself a lot of love.  So we're talking about time and you see how we went on  these tangents and The tangents feel like they don't have anything to do  with time but in reality it totally does everything connects back to how you use your time and your attitude about time and You know, how you think of wasted time or, you know, intentional time and time management and who's managing time, right?

 Is the time managing me? Is, am I managing the time? Can I even stretch time? You know, all these different things that are very interesting to talk about.  But at the end of the day, I think the most important thing to realize and to understand is that  it's more about managing ourselves. Within time, it's about knowing ourselves and. 

Knowing what works for us and also giving ourselves permission to be different every day and not have to Expect ourselves to be the same Okay so just because I was able to like nail the best for him ever because I did everything from scratch and I did and I Dad right like the action and the doing and the planning and the being at my best type of you know 

When I wanted to have a good Purim this year, I thought what could be the easiest way I can have an easy Purim, you know, I'm going to put on a dress I already have, you know, I'm not going to look for anything new. I'm going to do the gifts the easiest way I know, type of thing, like, everything was easy  and fun, and I think that's why I survived it so well, and I felt like, yeah, it was cool, it was good, we got through it, now we're, you know,  upwards and forwards, going into Passover, which is my favorite holiday, and I'm looking forward to it, you don't even know how, I'm so excited.

  Hey! Before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly? Feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one on one private coaching is for and I want to invite you, just you and me, for a free deep dive discovery call.

This is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations with practical steps.  The call is free and so valuable in itself. So go book yours today.

Now back to the show. 

 So. How else do I manage with eight kids and a family and a husband and a life?

I get a lot of help and I know people are sitting there going, well, I can't get help. I also thought I couldn't get help, but  it's what I'm going to be teaching you and the how to stop fighting with your husband about your business. I was constantly fighting with my husband about my business, not because there was something wrong with my business or something wrong with me.

It was because I was using my business sort of as an escape from having to deal with things I had to do because I felt like a failure at home. Like I felt like I wasn't showing up the way I wanted to show up at home and I didn't like that. So instead I showed up really strong, in the places where I I showed up the way I liked to show up.

So for example, in, you know, at the time I was a graphic designer, I don't know if you guys remember this about my origin story, but I was a graphic designer for 15 years. And I got to a place where I was  really happy with my work and with the stuff that I was doing so I was going into like the big city and meeting important people who had  gigantic amounts of stuff imported from China and I had to design the packaging for all their stuff and we had to make decisions about what colors to get and what things to buy and how to Fold it and how to do it and what to put and da da da and I felt so important and I felt so Appreciated I would go there.

I was paid for my time they Asked me seriously what I thought, you know, it felt really good and it felt really nice and then I would come home and I felt really,  like, juxtaposed. I was like as soon as I got to the door, I'd have to, like, pause and lower the volume on myself, like, really  humble, humbly. 

You know walk into the house and not be all  shiny and happy and look at me I'm the coolest like top of the world. It was more like oh, I see, you know You need me to help with the kids and we need to get them in the showers and eat and this and that like I just came back from a full day of Feeling the top of the world amazing awesome And I would come home and have this feeling of, like, now I have to almost stick myself into a box and squish and, like, you know, sort of uncomfortably fit into something I'm not.

Just because that's what I have to do. That's how you do life, you know? And I'm, like, adult, and I have kids, and my husband was taking care of them all day.

But you know, the feeling behind it was so icky and that was a big thing that we were, I don't know if we were fighting cause we don't actually  scream at each other or fight, fight, but I was feeling resentful. I definitely was feeling resentful and I know my husband was feeling resentful too, or at least  I think he was because it just felt like I wasn't at my best when I was at home  and it was because I didn't feel like I was appreciated. I didn't feel like it mattered. So I was just like, eh.  So I did everything  sort of like slow motion and I did things I had to do, but  I wasn't fully in it.  And I remember when things changed and I committed to really showing up in my business. But  I figured out what works for me to change the trajectory of where my marriage was going  I  figured it out and I started loving  my marriage and my business and my life because I learned how to ask for help and how to receive help.  And the biggest thing was really just Being able to  communicate what I want but in order to communicate what you want You first have to know what you want.

And that's what I'm going to be teaching you in the Training so I want you to really come to that. Okay, so, let me also tell you about how I used my time today.

Because I'm really proud of myself and I just remembered and I'm like, Hey, I should tell them. So let me tell you, this is so fun. Do you see how I just got like awakened? Like I just came back to life just because I thought like, what am I, where, where are we going with this? And I suddenly remembered that today was an awesome day.

So let me tell you what happened  today. We had our first meeting of a mastermind in person. That was awesome. That was so awesome.  So, basically, I've been craving real people, and real hugs, and real interactions with friends for a long time. And I have a lot of amazing, beautiful, loving friends that are in person, you know, local to me, and you know we can go to the park together, we can hang out, we can talk about our kids, we can talk about life.

But they weren't getting it. The whole business thing and that's legit. If you're not in business, it's fine. You don't have to get it  But I really wanted to have business friends like, you know How all these like podcast people are like, oh my biz bestie and you're like, ah,  I wish I had one So actually my sister used to be my biz bestie, but now she's not in business anymore So I've been looking for somebody for a long time And I have some people I have that I really love and can go to and like, oh, can you help me with this?

And they will. And they're amazing. I wanted to put them all together. I wanted to have a community. And I've been thinking about this for a long time and then they opened up this Center for Young Adults in our industrial center. Okay. So we have like an industrial zone Shaar, Benjamin, right next to my town.

And it has a bunch of supermarkets and, you know, office buildings and a whole bunch of different cool businesses that are there.  Of course, if you know me, you know that there is an ice cream shop that has the coolest Make your own yogurt thing where it's like you throw in all the frozen fruits And then they make it into like a frozen yogurt with this cool machine.

But if you know me, you also know that  I try not to eat dairy because it doesn't sit well with me. So here is a trick. I am  taking full credit for this one.  It is so yummy and so delicious. You go there and you just say, I want the frozen yogurt without the yogurt.  I know, right? Like my mouth drops just thinking about it.

I came up with this and. They thought I was crazy. And they're like, no, you can't. You have to do the yogurt. I'm like, no. What if instead of the yogurt, you put more bananas or more mango, like something that's going to make it creamy. And they've been doing that and it's been coming out amazing. So it's not as creamy as if you put the yogurt, but it's still super delicious.

It is sweet. It is cold. It is just fruit with nothing added. It's like.  Ah,  why didn't somebody think of this before? Anyway,  it is such a good idea. If you ever walk by a katsefit anywhere in Israel, just ask them for that. And I've only been like at a couple of places where they're like, no, we don't do that.

But most places will be so happy to do it for you. And it's delicious. So that was just a tip from me to you. You're welcome. So there's a katsefit there in Shar bin Yamin. But that's not where I went today. Today. I went to that center from like, it's a government office type thing, you know, like they created a center for youth and.

The idea is that people from the age of 18 to like 40  have like life, right? So they're in school. So they're students and they need a place to study. They need internet They need  the ability to sort of like see other students and other people who are in universities or whatever People who are in business, they're starting their businesses.

They're trying to get off the ground. They need each other. They need support They need you know Workshops and things and women after birth need community, they need people to talk to and ask advice and, you know, sort of just like  have events and things like that, right? So  anybody who's in that like young adult and not old enough to be  already established and old, like my kids say  And also not like teens, because for the teens, they have a ton of programming.

But  this was specifically programming for young adults. And they created a location for these programmings.  That was not English. Excuse my not English. Anyway, that place is a beautiful place. And they had a bunch of the  Things that were for you know, small businesses and I went to a bunch of them and then they also had co working Time which I went to and I was able to get a lot done and I even took a picture and sent it on Instagram so if you're not following me yet go to Instagram if you're on Instagram if you're not don't worry about it Please don't sign up to Instagram just because I said that okay, but if you are already there Go to at connected for real and find me and follow me and find that picture where I'm like I am in a co working space That's the place where I'm at.

Okay,  and I spoke to the people in charge and I said we need a mastermind of Anglos like people who speak English  Right? Like, because it's one thing to have all these events in Hebrew and to, get out of your own comfort zone and push through and learn and develop and don't get me wrong. I love those things.

And my Hebrew is fine. I'm able to fluently. Be part of these things, but also there's something really really really nice to have that like, ah, place where you could just settle and be yourself and not have to like think too hard and Just be there for each other.  So this was my dream. I asked for it. I knocked on  many doors and you know, basically  forced it on them and Picked a date and did it. 

No, I did it with permission But I picked the date first and I was like, okay. Well, I picked the date Is this okay? And she was like, yeah sure and then I did the flyer and I sent it in and I said I made the flyer Is this okay? And I even used their logo and it was like they were so cute about it and so sweet So thank God they were so supportive and so wonderful and we ended up getting together nine women sitting around the table with Snacks and yummy healthy food.

If you know me, I wasn't going to bring junk and We went around the table and everybody got to tell about their business about what's easy. What's hard? What's going what's not going? What they need help with where they're at in this crazy  Experiment of life and it was so fun. It was so fun So I'm just in awe of myself that I got it done Like it actually happened it happened and I'm so  proud.

I'm so happy and I'm so Grateful. I'm grateful to all the people who came and I'm also grateful  that this place exists and that they were so sweet and let us Use their space. It was so, so fun. So fun. And I think the thing that makes me so happy is the feeling of accomplishment, like knowing that you have this  thing inside you and it's burning and it's like, come on, come on.

And finally it happens like, yeah, that that's really, that's really been feeling really good. So  I'm proud of myself. I made it work. I made it a priority. I made time for it and I think  that's what it's all about, right?  Time and business. It's all about getting really, really clear on what you actually want and what's calling you.

And when you bring God into it, things that you didn't expect start to happen.  I was just talking about that with my husband. Another tangent. You guys know me already. I'm almost done. So I'm excited.  So  we took photos of the family. We did like a family photo shoot professional with like an actual photographer my husband was like, why don't we just give somebody your camera or like the phone?

He said just give somebody your phone and we'll all pose and we'll take pictures and I'm like, it doesn't work like that I want real pictures So just like as a backstory So, you know I turned 40 this year and my kids asked me what I want for my birthday and I thought about it really Really hard because I don't actually want things like I like things but I really like experiences a lot more  and I said I want for my birthday a photo shoot with all my kids and that they should all feel really good in their body.

Like  I'm not going to make them wear  what I want them to wear, I'm going to let them get comfortable in their own skin and just come and be together and we're going to have a great time and I envisioned it and I knew already like, and eventually, you know, one day I turned to my daughter and I said, I think my dream of doing a photo shoot is only going to happen in like five years, you know I didn't actually think it was going to happen. 

And then suddenly I was like, you know what? I'm going to do it. And  that is something we did  this week. Oh my gosh, guys, the week is so long.  It's not even over. And look at how many things I've done on my amazing things to do list. Which doesn't actually exist in real paper, but it's in my head.

This was something that I really wanted to do. And when I got really, really silent and I was like. I want to do it. I did it. And oh my gosh, it's the permission. It's the holding yourself accountable. It's the keeping your own promises to yourself. And then you go back into the permission of like, can I give myself, you know that grace?

And am I actually going to pay this much money for something that I just like thought up and don't really think makes sense. And, you know,  all the drama in my head. But  The good thing is that I have very good systems in place for a drama, right? So like, when I catch my mind going into those loops, I've created structures for them.

 I have the systems in place. And that's very cool to say. That's very cool to say because I didn't used to have that. But yeah. Again, come on Monday. How to stop fighting with your husband about your business is going to be very practical and very cool. 

  We got to talking about the photo shoot because the photographer sent us  a sneak peek of a picture of the family and all the kids and then one picture or two pictures of like gorgeous pictures of just the baby and two of the kids hugging. It was so cute. So cute. And I'm like, no, I just want all of them.

And he's like, still wait, patience. Anyway, there's like over a hundred pictures.  If you follow me on Instagram, you may see them next week.  So make sure you follow. At Connected For Real.  By the way, Connected For Real. Not the number for the actual words, okay? Connected For Real, okay? So my husband put the one picture he gave us as like a sneak peek as his screensaver on the phone. Like, not a screensaver, whatever, you know, that thing. The wallpaper.  And I picked up his phone and saw it, and I'm still not used to it because it's so beautiful.  And I'm like, wow! Oh my gosh, look at that!

Could you believe we have eight kids? It still blows my mind. It blows my mind. And he says, why are you so surprised?  That's because I remember so clearly sitting in the car when we were on a date and you asked me how many kids I want, and I said, I just want four. Like I didn't just want, but like, that's what I knew.

That's what I thought was.  Doable. Like in my mind, all I knew was all I knew. Right? It's just, that's all I knew. And so I said, I don't know, like four. And to me it made total sense. 'cause I come from four, my husband comes from four, so.  Makes sense, right?  And then I turned to him and I said, well, how many do you want?

You know, I just want to make sure we're on a date here.  We're almost getting engaged at this point.  And and he said, no, the more, the better, like 10.  And I was like, what? 

It never occurred to me. That is possible. Like, I was so stuck in the reality that I knew in the box of  what's available to me, that I did not comprehend what he was saying. Like he threw a number as if it was a number. And to me that didn't make any sense. Like I did not  the numbers together, I, I did something, did not. 

Compute. And I said to him, well, listen, how about this? I'm just going to go one at a time and see how my body is and see how I feel, and when I'm ready, I'll go to the next one. And he's like, yeah, that's fair. I'm like, okay,  we just communicated about something important and we figured out what works for both of us and thank God, really, thank God. 

We had four girls first, and I felt so happy about the way that things were going, like, I really was very attentive to my body, I was doing the thing I said I was gonna do, I, Didn't rush from one to the other. I really took my time to  be attentive. Like, what do I need and how do I heal? And how do I make sure to prepare my body for the next one?

And, you know, when I was ready, I  had another one and it was very beautifully orchestrated by God. And now I'm turning around and I'm like, I have eight kids. I'm not really sure how that happened.  But I mean,

now I could see it, but I also  I'm sort of like looking back  and feeling this like mind blown thing of like, I blew the limitations that I had on myself  out of the park.  And that feels really good. And I think that's what brings us back to time. Time is a concept. It is a constraint that God put.

On us for us to work within and to really, you know, use as a framework, but God is capable of going beyond time and shortening time and lengthening time and making time  warp, you know, in order to create. Experiences that we don't actually understand as like, you know, one of the things that I do in my training is I talk about time is  a timeline actually  is the only way that you can look back and see what happened and look forward and, you know, sort of

have that concept if we didn't have time we wouldn't have that reality

and that's what I was doing now I was just thinking Wow the ability to look back and then to see now what I have and to Remember what was and see what is And compute that the numbers don't actually match up. You know, now I laugh that  my husband's comes from four and I come from four. So four plus four is eight.

But like does that make sense? No. But it makes sense in real life because this is our reality and it's actually really beautiful and really awesome. You know, once we had the photo shoot, something happened to our family, to the kids, there was something magical that happened in the atmosphere of the home.

And it felt really nice. And if I had to give myself advice for like a week ago when I was making this decision, like, should I do it? Should I not? Are we going to do it? It's too expensive. Is it that blah, blah, blah. It's that you're not actually paying just for the pictures. You're paying for the experience.

You're paying for the result. You're paying for the memories. You're paying for the magic that happens when you get the pictures back and you suddenly realize there's like  all these things that. You're grateful for that. You took for granted even just like the way the sun hits, you know, your face or the way that  the ground is so beautiful.

Like, you know, we were just in nature. So like nature is dirty and it's regular and it's like nothing special. Nobody sat around and like styled nature, you know, and it's like, there's like branches and things and yeah. Whatever, but like ah, it's so magnificent. So magnificent. 

So, I hope you liked my off the cuff solo episode that came instead of the very awesome  guest episode that we were supposed to have. I also look forward to seeing you. Make sure you sign up for the training how to stop fighting with your husband about your business It's going to be on Monday  at 2 p.

m. Eastern and You can sign up at connected for real comm slash training.  That is connectedforreal.com/training. I love you all I look forward to seeing you next week for another awesome episode and actually next week is going to be time and you and that should be really fun. So make sure you stay tuned and if you're not subscribed, make sure you subscribe.

It doesn't cost you anything and it's a really good way to help me.  Thank you.  I love you. I'll see you next time and don't forget to be connected for real.

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.