198. Understanding Your Cycle on a Spiritual Level

Pessy Schwartz is a certified fertility awareness and reproductive health educator, kallah teacher and cycle coach. She also teaches the fertility awareness method (FAM) as an effective natural option to prevent or achieve pregnancy and understand our hormonal health. Her true passion is her desire for women to be connected with their innate power. Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman is a marriage coach for women in business. Join them as they talk all about femininity and G-d.

 

 Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started. 

 And we're  live. Welcome everyone to the Connected for Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and today with me is Pessy and she's going to introduce herself and then we're gonna get right into the topic, femininity and God. So Pessi, introduce yourself. Hi, I'm happy to be here. My name is Pessy Schwartz. I think that there's one word to describe my passion.

That is the cycle. And it has so many meanings, so many different ways of understanding it. But specifically in our body, our menstrual cycle has so much to share, so much to offer us so much wisdom for us. And that is also the key to our femininity and how we move in the world as women in so many different ways.

And that passion led me to become a fertility awareness educator, which is understanding our natural cycles in a body-based way and a college teacher. Which is, you know, the Jewish practices around the cycle to understand it in a spiritual and holistic way.  Beautiful. And that's why we're talking today about femininity and God.

So let me just give you guys a little bit of background. My business as a marriage coach for women in business is really integrating all the parts of yourself, especially as a married woman who's also doing business and believes in God and is taking care of everything and everybody and herself.

So the  four pillars in my work that, you know, part of connected for real part of this world that I've created is God is at the core, marriage and business are working together. And then you are the container of all that. All the things, right?  And that's why it's so important for us to take care of ourselves and so on.

And this podcast is. Created around that framework. So every month we take one topic and attack it from four different angles, from the four pillars, and this month is femininity. And I am so excited that we're getting into this here and now, and this is how we're opening the topic because femininity is a big loaded topic that we can talk about probably for an entire year on a podcast, especially in this, you know, business, marriage, everything world. 

But I wanna come from the God aspect first, and I wanna hear your take on   what's the source of everything? Let's start from that.  What do you mean the source of everything? I mean God is a source of everything, of course, but in this,  yeah, but like femininity when it comes to our relationship with God, femininity as why did God create feminine and masculine?

Why did he create us this way? You know, it's obviously not a mistake that we are different.  And I'd like to talk a little bit about that first before we get into other things. Yeah. So we are, men and women are obviously very different and that's a big premise of my work as well. Not just understanding the differences, but really owning who we are as women because so often when we compare ourselves to men,  we feel less than we feel.

Not enough. We feel  not why can't we measure up, but also like, almost like proving that we can measure up. And that's almost like that, right? Like the, the feminist movement came from that energy of like, we can be just as men and we can, we can, we can if we want to, if we choose that.

But there's something in that femininity, in that womanhood that we're shutting the door on when we go into our masculine. And so many women are in that place right now where it's like, so in their masculine, so in their you know, like being out there. And that's really the purpose of like what I teach, the cyclical balance of everything is that we hold both and that we move in both worlds.

But when we shut down the feminine, we negate the feminine. We're cutting off a very vital part of ourselves.  And  that's also kind of going into the, into the conversation of God. So the deeper concept, but God is not feminine or masculine. God is not one thing, right? God is all encompassing. So there is a masculine aspect of God and there's a feminine aspect of God.

And there are many different expressions and relationships I have with God. And that's, I mean, the, the most like typical understanding of this is the Shechina is the feminine aspect of God, right? This kinda rests, it's a presence. It's not like this action oriented masculine provider protector that we have as our you know, general understanding of God, which is important.

We'll get to that, how we relate to that. But the feminine aspect of God is more like the presence, the like filling, all right, the flowing life energy that is in us, through us, around us. That's that aspect that we tap into, that we connect to. But, the masculine aspect is important because we embody the feminine, right?

Like all creation  is an embodiment of God is a manifestation of godliness. So as women, we embody that feminine aspect and the more we own it, the more we reveal it. Right? And that's compared also to the moon. The moon is also a feminine aspect of God. So it's like meaning a feminine manifestation of God.

So it's like the feminine above the feminine below all of creation. And then when we connect to that rhythm, we connect to that cyclical energy. We connect to that life energy, we connect to that femininity. 'cause there's so much around that. We are revealing more of that. We are embodying more of that.

And this takes it to a whole different level. We can get into more of this later, but this is actually something that I'm teaching a lot right now. We come closer to the final redemption of what the world is coming towards the Messianic era of the world to come where it's. Femininity is being more revealed.

The feminine aspect of godliness is being more revealed, and that's literally our mission in this world. As women, we are revealing that because we have that in ourselves.  Yes. Oh my goodness. Okay. So let's put all the that together. Yeah.  The being versus the doing, the ability to sustain life and,  have  an impact without action, right?

Yes. Is like,  that's a superpower my friends. It's a superpower.  Wow. Let's get a little bit into  the laws of Niddah. You know, all of  that aspect and how it has to do with femininity, why it's designed perfectly for our needs and so on. I'd love to hear more about that.  Yeah. I think we have to backtrack first to the biological reality of our cycles.

Like what is our cycle? Actually it's not even half of what we know out. Like what's out there is not even half of what the reality of our cycle is. We don't learn about this. We don't learn the full impact of what our cycle is here to offer us. We learn about, okay, there is a period and that's what it's about.

It's not really what it's about. It's one little point. It's the  yes, I, I went to a class, you know  I have four girls first, so I am very involved in the girls school and every time they bring in somebody to speak to the sixth graders or the fifth graders you know, I usually have somebody in that age group and I come and I listen and I love that this is becoming more and more.

Awareness. You know, the, that was not English. Sorry guys. I'm so tired. The awareness around  what the cycle really is and that the period is actually like the  least  of our problem, like quote unquote. But like it's the least exciting thing in the whole cycle and that is the only thing that we focus on.

So, yeah, talk more about that. So I wouldn't call it the least exciting part. I really think every single point in the cycle, every single phase of the cycle has something beautiful to offer us. It's just that we're focused on one way, the way we need to show off the same every day. 'cause that's a masculine mentality.

The really a big biological difference in men and women is hormonal because men also have hormones. It's not just a woman's thing like you're hormonal. Men and women both have hormones. The male hormonal cycle is a 24 hour cycle. That means every day they have the same process. The female hormonal cycle is a monthly process, so we go through the same cyclical rhythm, but over a longer period of time.

So not necessarily will you be the same today as you will be in two weeks from now, because we are different every day. We show up differently every day, and that's okay. We don't have to like fit some kind of standard or be this model of perfection every single day. And, and guess what? Perfection is where you are right now, because right now has something beautiful to offer you.

So  that's the real wisdom of the cycle. Knowing where you are right now, knowing what this moment and this point in time has to offer.  Ah,  so beautiful. People listening are like, okay, okay, I want more.  This is this. There's so much here, but the, the difference where, how, how do you get into this work?

I always get, I always do this. I go into a tangent and I forget where we. Started.  Well, so we, we backtracked to talk about the physical right body first because there's so much to learn from the here and now and what is actually happening. And I wanna go into a parentheses for a second. You know, there is past, present, and future.

Mm-hmm. And we can very much be in our minds in the past, in the future, worrying about things, remembering things being triggered by things. A lot of time we spend in past and future and, you know, mindful movement has taught us to just be in the present, try to get here, right here. This is the only moment you have.

But something beautiful is that your body does not have anywhere else to be. But now exactly right  into the present moment.  Right. I found that in order to get present, all I need to do, start counting my fingers or feeling into my breath or grounding my feet and you know, really getting into my body.

There is so much wisdom there. And the way that you said, you know, take that to the next level and say, your body is  right here, right now. Perfect where you are. And you just need to pick up on your needs and your wants in this moment so that you know what is expected of you, not the other way around to fit some mold that you're not really fitting into.

Exactly.  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is where we got into it. We were like, Hey, it's not just about the period, but the period is not, is is also a really potent part that that's a separate thing. We're not even realizing how much power is in the period because who talks about that? Right. But it's also not the only part of the cycle, right?

We have different seasons, we have different phases of beautiful way of describing the, the way we move through the cycle is actually connecting it to the seasons of the year.  So menstruation would be our inner winter. Then we move into our inner spring, right? If you think about when you come out of your period, you like feel more alive, you feel more like that energy.

And then we move into ovulation, which is our peak, and that's like the summer.  Then we start going down again because the cycle goes up and down and back up and down. And that is our inner autumn fall where the, the leaves start falling from the trees. We shed our own things that we no longer, no longer serve us, that we wanna like release and we move into our inner winter.

Again, menstruation, where we are really like really deep within ourselves. Like there's so much, it's.  It's a really potent time to just be in touch with ourselves, to be in touch with our intuition. Right. So for so many people, intuition feels like a far off concept that we don't connect to. Like what's intuition is just very abstract.

It's in our bodies and we have time when we're actually can connect to it a lot more. Yeah. You know one of my daughters started a period journal. Yeah. So when she gets her period, she actually sits down and writes how she's doing and where she's at and where was she last month and what happened between now and then and is so beautiful to watch.

She will sit herself down  and really just reflect. And then the most beautiful thing is she'll turn around and be like, can you imagine it was only a month ago, it feels like a year ago that this, that and the other. 'cause she'll look back and she'll see.  All the things she wrote last time. And it's amazing to be able to sort of reflect that way with something that's taking you through that one season.

And I love that she's doing that already at such a young age. She's like setting herself in her life to like really be in this rhythm and receive what her cycle has to give her.  I know. I'm so proud. I'm like  every mother is sitting there going,  I want, I want that. But yeah, my kids are awesome. They're awesome.

But it starts, but it starts with us, you know, our, our children pick up how we relate to our cycle, how we connect all this and.  It's not, yes, of course we wanna teach them and, and be open with 'em and have open conversations, but they also pick up how we connect our femininity. And that's why most of my work that I do now, I mean, sometimes I work with teens, sometimes with kallahs.

But most of my work is with married women who, many of them are mothers of young girls. And this work is transforming their daughters as well and future generations because they're reclaiming something for themselves that will get passed on. Because we, we sense that, right? Like their daughters will sense that from them.

 How they, you know, are owning their femininity as well. Yes, yes. And it's something that you can really see very quickly. Yeah. Very quickly when you work on yourself and you transform something within you.  It almost automatically shows up in your daughters  and it's such a fun side effect. Just as a side point, it's really worth it.

 I highly recommend I I don't have daughters. I only have boys.  How many boys do you  have? I have three boys. That's so fun. So when I had girls, you know, I had four girls first, like my first 10 years were all about girls, girls,  girl. And everybody is like, you just wait. You just wait. Now I have two, two boys and they're cute.

But yeah,  was a lot of fun.  Yes, it's really fun to see that they're different even from a young age, but also they're the same.  You know,  it really has to do with your expectations too. When I finally had my boy people were like, oh, you just, you just wait and see. He is gonna do this, that, the other.

I'm like, no, I have girls all different types, so I can't even imagine how  irrelevant it is what you're saying right now.  And just, you know,  my son is so creative and artistic  and very sensitive and like, so not what they were talking about. Yeah. So just, just so you know, it's all Yeah. By the way, I love that you're saying that because we're not about stereotypes.

It's not like this is a man, this is a woman. Right? Like we all are very unique and we have our own individual and we have both masculine and feminine. We all do. Yes. So we have like a different configuration of personality and things like that, but it's, it's really like what I'm talking about is a way of moving in the world, a way of responding to the world, a way of being in the world, right?

That's different, right? Like even though men and women are very similar in many ways.   There, When I teach in my fertility awareness course, I teach male and female anatomy because we didn't understand how our bodies work. And yes, of course that's the main difference with men and women physically, but there are also so many connections, so many parallels, so many things that are so the same that we don't even think of that like, oh, I could understand my husband and what arouses him because I also have some of that.

Like, there's, there's so much interconnectedness there. So there's, yeah, I feel like both are two at the same time. We're very different. We're very much the same. Know what's different, know what's the same and how we move each in our own way. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I love that we can connect to either or, you know, we can, especially women in business, there's so much masculine energy  just by being in business.

Right. And   building a business is a masculine  concept. Right, right. And you know, if you go back and listen to Hannah Mason for example, she talks about this a lot, where she was like very in the masculine, then moved towards the feminine. The way she describes, it's so fun because now her business is just sort of like extremely feminine and how she's running it.

And she just like puts her love out in the world and it just like works, you know? But she had to build that. And, and so you can't, you can't expect to do one without the other or create, you know, just like God created us with both.  Yep. We have to create our businesses with both, but find a really good balance so that you're  doing it the way that works for you and even in ourselves.

Because when we are in, like so many women are now in this like healing phase of like reclaiming their femininity, being more of we are as women. Even that requires the masculine container of safety within ourselves, right? Like we need to establish what is our like baseline? What is our foundation?

What is like what what holds us? Right? And when we have that safety, the feminine can flow freely. If we don't have that safety, the feminism a mess,  right? Yeah. Yeah. I love that you said that. The container, yeah, the container is really important.  I am gonna go into that. You're a marriage coach. That's also the structure of marriage as well.

Exactly. I was just gonna say, I'm gonna go into a tangent, but this is coming outta me. Yeah. It's coming outta me. It's almost like I can't hold it in. Mm-hmm.   The container of having the husband and the wife and the husband being the container and the wife being that like, you know, free spirit, trying to go after things and whatever.

Mm-hmm. We don't give the husband enough credit for being that foundation. Exactly. And you know, I have a training where it's, it's called Get Your Husband on Board, where sometimes one of the biggest things my clients would say is like, I just want a team player and he's so, you know, negative and critical and he's not behind me and I don't feel supported and all these things that we're all feeling at certain times of our businesses. 

The thing that we don't realize is that when we  really tap into ourselves and figure out what we need, what we want, what,  what lights us up, what we're here to do, it also frees your husband to be the container and the foundation and the support and the ability to hold that space for you. My, my Kallah teacher trainer, her name is Raha Goba.

She's amazing. She said one of my best lines that I heard from her   what's the best way to make a man? Right? Everyone's so busy. How do they fix their husbands? How do they get their husbands say this and that? How do you make a man like being a woman?  Yeah.  Yeah. So profound. Yeah. Yeah.  I am, I'm so grateful to my husband, by the way, because I opened my business.

Right? And  I don't, I think like a big factor of why I was able to do it and how I was able to do it was because. My husband is the provider, he is the one that's like in charge of, okay, this is, this is our home, this is our family. Like, I'm the man here. I'm the provider. And I'm so grateful for that because I had so much freedom to build this, to do this.

'cause it, I mean, you know what it's like to open a business, it's, it's a huge process. And  I don't know if I would've had the safety to do that, if not for him. Like that was my masculine safety to go into this feminine flow of where this passion took me and what we built here. 'cause it's like  that was a big part, part of it for me.

For sure. Thank you so much for sharing that. I think a lot of the listeners needed to hear that. And I also wanna give the listeners the other side of that. My husband is not the provider and for us it was really fascinating to see how my leaning into my femininity actually made it. That he was the safety in the container.

Wow. Even without. That part of, of him. Right. So it's, it was, it was, you know, it was a whole journey because one of the biggest mindset shifts that I had to go through was, if you make more money than your husband and be careful, you know, and these, this like old wive tales  that scare you  and hold you back.

Mm-hmm. And when I was able to speak openly and be in that vulnerable place, yeah. My husband was so awesome  and sort of, you know, really leaned into, okay, what do we need to do? And the fact that he's so masculine about, okay, let's just get things done. What do you need to do? Should I do the shopping?

I do the cleaning. Sure I'll do it. 'cause he just needs to do Yeah. He doesn't care that, you know, whatever. He has been so awesome. But only when I started being me. Yeah. Only when I opened up and was as feminine as I could be, then he was able to be that. Container for me. And I think that was really the shift.

So if you're listening, you're saying, oh well, you know, that's fun for her. 'cause you know, she has that container. It's like you don't need, the container you need is  to really lean in. Right, because I love, I love that you shared that because first of all, I think it's more important for people to see that my story, your story, everyone has a different story and there's no one way this is right  or what it looks like because it's really more of like an energetic shift or e an energetic dynamic of like, what does it even a provider mean?

What does even a, a receiver mean? What does a, like all those things is plays out in so many different ways and so many different dynamics that it's not one way, right? Like that's what I was saying before. We have these stereotypes of what a man does, what a woman does, and it's not really like that, right?

Like a man could be washing dishes and be extremely masculine to his wife in that action. And a woman could be watching this and then be extremely feminine to her husband in that action. It's not even about the action or what you're doing or what the actual story plays out as.  It's really energetic.

It's how we lean into our feminine and how they are inspired to rise into their masculine. It's, and, and it really is connected. It's like the more we lean into our feminine, the more they rise into their masculine. And I think also like there, there's some resentment around this. Like some women, I hear, I hear this from women, I'm like, oh, so it's all on me.

Like, I have to ignore my feminine so that he should be in his masculine. It's not like that. It's, first of all, I think people don't realize, like, yes, it's actually an empowering thing. It starts with a woman. Not in a way of a pressure, but like,  you know, I had this conversation once with, with a group of friends.

We're talking about is it, is it that a man is masculine to a woman to in general and then a woman comes and receives that? Or is it that a woman activates something in the man once they're in a relationship?  Right. There's, there's so much of that dynamic where.  If a man doesn't have okay, we can go on so many tangents here, but there's something about birth control that I wanna point out.

So this was, there was this real going around a long time ago about how birth control, hormonal birth control actually affects men, which is wild because women are taking the birth control and then men are being affected. How, and it doesn't have to be their own wife. Just the general idea that women are on birth control and, and not actually connected through a cycle and  ovulating naturally, and having that creative rhythm flowing in the world. 

So  if a man senses that there is fertility happening, there's potential of, like, the world is going on, he is activated, his hormones are activated to go get stuff done, to go do things, to go buildings, to make sure the world is a safe place for humanity. If it's not there and everyone's just like, whatever the cycle is, shut down, the fertility, shut down  the creative.

Flow is shut down. And the way he was saying it, it's totally fine to play video games in grandma's basement  because it, it's a response, right? The hormones are a response. We, we are inter dynamic and like responding to each other all the time.  You know, what I think is so awesome is we're talking about things that are invisible and they're so hard to comprehend.

Like, what does it even mean that her hormones are affecting his hormones? And how do they even  communicate and how, and, you know, we could get into the smells and, you know, the, like, there's so much to this that like, my mind is blown at how God created us as humans. And so much genius went into every detail and how everything's affected by everything. 

It blows my mind. And I wanna come back just for a second to that conversation that we just left. Because I think there's something that we didn't say that needs to be said, and that is that both of us were talking about who is providing and  so on and so forth. But really we have to remember that the reason why both of our situations are working is because God is providing, and we're both very clear on that.

So it doesn't matter what door is coming from, what window it's coming from, what little, you know,  whatever the, the mechanism is the same because we're aware of the source, and that is the safety that I'm talking about, and that you're talking about the safety that we're both in, understanding that it doesn't actually mean anything about you.

Right. Just the other day I was telling my husband the fact that you have so much trust, exclusive trust on God is the reason why I can go and do the thing I do, because I don't feel.  Like it's coming through me.  Right, right. And you're, that's bringing this in, but it's really, you're together in it.

Exactly.  And I'm sure that it's the same with you knowing that your husband is the provider, but he's not. He's the, he's the, you know, the, the, the  pipeline to all of that abundance. Absolutely. It means that, it means that he is also not  scared of you going and having a business because who cares?

It doesn't mean anything about him. It doesn't mean anything about you. And it frees us from having to play a game that. Is so disconnected, right? Like most of the fights, most of the miscommunications, most of the stuff is the assumptions and the beliefs and all of the, you know, static electricity noise that is going around when you're disconnected from God, when you don't actually give God all the credit for sustaining us. 

I think this goes straight into what the relationship between femininity and God actually is. Go for it.  So as I was saying before, right, God is both masculine. Our feminine, we connect to each aspect in different ways. So when we, what does it mean actually to lean into our feminine? To be in our feminine, we, like we said, we need to receive from the masculine protector and provider, but I think so many women fall into this trap of expecting their husbands to be something for them so that they can then lean into their feminine or so that they can have their safety, like you said, right?

But really it starts with being a feminine receiver directly from God.  God is that masculine protector? God is that masculine provider. Yes. It can come through in the form of your husband. Absolutely. That's a huge blessing. But it's recognizing the channel, right. And connecting to that and leaning into that femininity of receiving.

And that's literally what I mean. It, it's such a big part of a  Jewish tradition, so many different traditions of, right, like let's say receiving the Torah, like it's receiving. What's this receiving the, the whole idea of  when the receiving of the Torah happened is, was compared to a marriage ceremony  and God was like marrying us as his bride. This relationship has so many levels, but a big part of it as women, as we connect to God, is as the masculine protection provider. And it could be men connect to God differently because men and women are different. Men and women have different ways of moving in the world. So I think that's a big one to remember.

Sometimes we learn things. We'll pick up things that are written in a or, or shared in a masculine way, in a linear lens. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's just we have to know who we are, what we're responding to, and what actually makes us alive, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. 'cause we are different and we need to own that. 

I love that. So I ran the Intimacy Masterclass a bunch of times a while back. Now you could buy the replay if you want. People are getting it all the time. It's really fun.  And in there I talk about, you know, the biggest issue is that all the  people who, you know, gave us the rules and, and, you know, put it all together.

All men, right? So they're going around going like, give, give, give. Because that's the advice that. You know, they're men, they're supposed to give. And the real advice is receive, receive, receive. Like this is your superpower. Allow and open up and really  be a vessel to contain all of that goodness, all of that abundance.

Exactly. It's such a different  take on intimacy and on life in general, on running your business, on every level.  And  I think a lot of women don't even know what it means to receive.  So let's talk about that. It's not taking, it's not taking, it's not taking what someone gives you. It's not really that.

It's like you said, opening a vessel, being a container, for something to flow into for something, to have a space to hold. Right. If you are I mean I definitely see this with like, let's say working with clients, right? That's a masculine role for me, right? I'm providing to a client you know, an experience and she's receiving from me. 

You probably know this too.  It's a huge satisfaction when someone is actually a vessel to receive,  right? Like they're actually able to receive what you heard to offer. They're actually able to like literally  fill up with all the goodness that you're sharing. It's like, so, so  it's, it's, it's the most incredible feeling in the world for both. 

Yeah. I think of it as nursing, you know, more,  more than the, we're gonna, the place  we're, we're going all over the place because it's so interconnected. Yeah. When the baby wants to nurse the baby  is receiving, but more than the baby wants to nurse The mother wants to nurse it. Right. Like there is a need to give.

And, and, and motherhood is a masculine it's funny, it, as funny as it sounds, 'cause mother is a woman, but motherhood is a masculine role that we carry as women. Yes. Yes. And I was just thinking that when you were speaking about it, the baby is the receiver and suddenly we become the provider and the giver and then we can really get into that mindset of what is a man going through?

What is God going through? I mean, you know, totally not God. I mean, we're compared to an infant. Yes. But I don't take this in like a, you know, don't get all like whatever on me. Obviously God is different and God is God, but God wants to give, created these experiences for us to understand him better.

Exactly. God wants to give. And for us to understand some people, and we're gonna get into like big topics here, because they're just coming up and I can't hold myself back, but like worthy and deserving when a woman says, I don't deserve blah, blah, or I'm not worthy of, you know, I don't know what. Hello. It matters less about what you think you deserve.

It matters more about what God wants to give. And he's sitting there going just nurse already, like, just take this from me. I wanna give you. And you're like, I didn't know. You know, maybe I'm not worthy. Like if a baby would sit around and like ponder if he is worthy of, you know, nursing Today we have facing issues that we struggle with.

What the baby's latching problems and all these things that we struggle with. Exactly. And like who is in more pain? The baby. Or you like, duh. So I really, I think of it and I, I think to myself, it is such an important thing for us to experience, like you said, experience both male and female feminine and masculine. 

Because we have to be able to understand in order to receive, you also need to be on the giver side to understand how much the giver wants to give and not make it about yourself. Right? Being a receiver does not mean that this is about you. Right? And this is something that's really important to talk about.

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly, feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one-on-one private coaching is for, and I want to invite you, just you and me.

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  Something jumped out at me. What you said earlier, I think worthiness is receiving,  like when you do the work of self-worth and self-love and making yourself available for everything you deserve and everything God wants to send you in life, like all the blessings in the world you are receiving. Yeah. 

That's, that's like really powerful because I think that's a big struggle that a lot of women have. Like, I don't deserve, I don't feel worthy. I'm not enough. I need to do more. Do more is the, is the pastor one? I need to do more. That's not feminine. You don't need to do more to receive what's coming to you.

Exactly. You know, I had one client who said, I pray so much and I do so much good. And I, and,  and I just need to do more in order to receive, you know, what I, whatever masculine thinking. Yeah. And I was like, no, how about you just be like, I don't know how to do that.  Because listen to the language.

I don't know how to do that.  I don't know how to do being We don't do being Exactly, we don't do being,  being,  you know, it's funny, it's the, the feminine is compared to  Chavez, which is the Jewish Sabbath. Right. It's compared, compared to the world to come. It's compared to any. Resting state that is meant to completely take in the experience that you worked for, right?

You think about end of the week, six days of work, one day of rest. It's really about like, okay, you work, but for what? Like, the life is about work life is just about doing. Do you doing it? And when are you gonna actually receive it? When are you, when are you actually gonna be with it? When are you actually gonna enjoy it?

Like, feminine is so much about pleasure, joy, receiving, being like all the things that we were like  just guilted about, like, just shamed about like, no, life is not about pleasure. You have to earn it or you, you don't deserve it. Or, but that's really the experience that God wants for us because yeah, we, we, we do the things.

So I'm not worried that you're not doing what you need to do. Like, like our, our world is set up for that. So this world was literally created to stimulate doing. Action. It, it's, it's the, it's the linear world. It's literally the linear world. This is where we live in ka ballistically, physically, whatever you want, however you wanna look at it.

But the role as a feminine here is to actually take that work. And, and, and that's the whole point of it. That's the whole point of working.  Yeah. Culminate it. Yeah. It, it's where everything is, comes together.  It's so beautiful.  Even in like the emotional and spiritual work, right? Like everyone is working on themselves.

Right. And that's beautiful,  but the feminine part of it is Okay. Do you, do you acknowledge all the healing you've done? Do you are you able to be with, like, think of a trigger that you had five years ago that can happen now and you are in a completely different place. Are you actually like, cherishing that so much?

'cause this is like just an acknowledgement of how far you've come. Like that celebration, that being with. All you've created. Like that's the enjoyment of the feminine. That's the pleasure that we're here for.  That's our her job to bring into the world more.  You know, that's the fourth step in my fourth step program.

It's called the calm method. And  you know, step four is master a higher level of consciousness. And the way you do that is by celebrating, by acknowledging, by being in that celebration, in that  mind blowing moment where it's like, oh, it actually worked and now I have to just be in it. You know?  It's the hardest part for people.

Hardest. It's the hardest part. And you know what, what I was just realizing while you're talking, I'm like, wait, I think step one is also feminine, which is connecting to yourself and knowing what you want. Yeah. And, and so like. Wow. Really. I think out of the four steps too are for sure feminine you know, ask for abundance is speaking to God and you know, asking.

So I'm not sure where that falls.  But listen for the answer is very masculine. Like that's where you're taking action.  Well, but then you're also listening for the answer. So you're turning at feminine.  I I, it's very similar, like I support women in fertility on cycles and hormone balance, and we go through like a really similar process where it's first about reconnecting, reconnecting the feminine, reconnecting to the self, reconnecting to your cycle, reconnecting to God, and then we have the space, right?

We, we created that safety. So we have the space for the healing and the nourishment that we need to do. Yeah, there is some action involved. There is masculine process as well of building and supporting ourselves. And then we have that process of a aligning alignment. Like, yes, we are coming into balance, we are receiving, we are being with it.

It's, I think it's just a universal pattern  of everything, right? Yeah, yeah. No, it's so fun. It's so fun. Like sitting around, it's like all these like little clicking, you know, in my head like, oh cool. Oh, and, and another cool thing I got, like I had this beautiful feedback from someone who's in my embodied course.

I give a course on fertility awareness of a little like intro, like brief of what fertility awareness method is. It's basically a natural form of birth control where you don't have to take any hormones or synthetic anything in your body. You are aligned with your cycle, you're aligned with your natural rhythm, your feminine, you're so much more connected with yourself.

And you also get to know we only have like about five to seven days every cycle that we can actually get pregnant. So you get to know exactly when that is for you and what kind of protection you wanna use then. And then you'll have, you have knowledge about your cycle, which is so powerful and like beautiful feedback that I got from someone was like, you know, she did all this healing work and inner child work and all the emotional and spiritual and mental stuff.

And then now it's like physical, it's in her body, in her feminine being right. We're connected to the cycle.  It, it's just, that's what, like this step that we're talking about now, receiving it, like, she feels like she's embodying it. Like, that's so powerful. Like, oh,   my body's receiving my hormones are feeling nourished, like almost like an inner child.

And like I'm caring for myself and, and it's just, things are just clicking.  And I think that's the most beautiful part of this. Like the resonance, the alignment, the, the culmination, like you said,  that's literally what the world to come is about. What redemption is about, what Sabbath is about, all those things.

 And of course it goes through redemption. 'cause that's actually the something that I'm offering now. I mean, whoever's live will still be able to join us, but it, you know, by the time this podcast year's probably gonna be after, but maybe we'll offer it again because I, I feel like it's so powerful.

It's called Reemptress  and literally it's about accessing the inner redemptus in ourselves, how we can receive redemption. 'cause redemption is not about. You know, Mia,  like the Messiah coming to ride towards us and, and, and save us. It's about us being ready to receive that,  and that's super feminine.

That's why the women, like traditionally, we know that the women were always the one who brought redemption throughout history because it was really about being in our feminine, being in that vessel of, yes, we are so ready, we are still receiving this. This is so happening. Like this is already happening and like this, and it really comes into our life today, regardless of whether the whole world is ready for it or not.

Like if we are ready for it, we see it in our life more and more. And of course the more people can actually reclaim this, then it, it has a global impact as well, which that's like, I think where  yes, I talk about the feminine  leadership that's really rising now.  Feminine leadership is not the same as men, male. 

It's or masculine, right? When a, when the men are in charge, there's one guy in charge and everybody's supporting him, and you know, that's just how it is. When the women are in charge, they, they fly in a flock, they support each other and they keep taking turns whose leader because they have cycles and they don't need to be at the top every single day all the time.

So it's, you know, my podcast is successful because I'm constantly bringing people up and showing other people who's available to work with. I have so many of my clients listening to my podcasts, who are hiring people who have been guests, because that's the point. The point is,  here's, here's all these women who are making a change, who are making an impact, who are really leaning into their femininity and available to serve in a way that is in alignment.

And that way of leading is so different. And that's, that's really what you know, the redemption is all about. It's raising the level of consciousness of everybody, not just like, you know,  raising a person. And I'm envisioning something really beautiful here because the masculine is a line is linear, right?

Like I get from point A to b, I do this, I get this result. That's masculine thinking, right? So masculine is also like top down, right? Like  the whole world for the, for thousands of years was all about like hierarchy. Like I'm on top, you're on bottom, like, right kings and queens, like everything was top down.

We're moving in in a direction where things are more  like the feminine is a circle, right? So if you about a circle who's really on top and who's on bottom like this here, she, she can be the leader of the circle right now. And then we're gonna move to the next one. It's like.  The leader is not on top of anyone.

It's the same circle. And that's literally what it says about God. That in the future, in the times of redemption, we, we will form a circle around God. Like God will be equ distant from everyone. It's not like there's a rabbi who has higher access and you have to learn from him as a student. No, we all have equidistant access to God.

We'll have that. And  we are in that messianic time of redemption where we are experiencing more of that. We are having more of that like individual experience. And that's really what feminine is. Feminine is a circle.  Masculine is a line. And we need both because if you think about it, both are true.

It's just if you're zooming out or if you're zooming in, because if you are walking on a line and then you zoom out and you're like, oh, that was the outline of the circle.  So it can be the same truth, but what's your perspective? Where are you looking at it from? Oh, that was so marriage you know, marriage advice stuff, like notice that you're looking at the same thing from two different perspectives.

Of course. I love that. So  genius. Like po  Yeah.  There's so much there.  Yeah. This is great. This is great. 

We even got to, like, you started talking about Niddah and the, the laws of like family purity and Taharas Hamishpacha right? Yeah. And I said, first of, let's go to actually understanding what our cycle's about, because these laws are connected to the biology of our cycle. It's not just random, like, let's just put these laws on for, you know, just for fun.

Like, it's not, it's, it's hard for a lot of people, but if we understand the wisdom of how our cycle works and we understand, oh, we're not the same every day. We're not in the same relationship every day. We're not the same woman every day, we. Have different stages where we actually sometimes do need more introspection, more leaning inward.

And sometimes there are times in month we're more outward. And that actually very much aligns with the process. I call it like a, you're gonna love this as a marriage coach. I call it a courtship.  Like we literally court date our, our spouses every month, again, because we have this separation, like, let's zoom out, let's go back, where are we at?

Check in. And then coming closer again. And like, there's this dating process every month and there's this reunion every month and it's beautiful. And at the same time, I also validate that it is challenging. 'cause I, I work with women who are like looking to strengthen this and they come, they're coming from a place where it's challenging for them and these perspectives are helpful, but it also has to come from within.

It's not just about a mindset shift. It's about really  owning your femininity, owning your cycle, and, and understanding how this is really so aligned for everyone.  Yeah. Yeah. I was in a class where they were going into  each organ in the feminine.  System cycle  and learning from each organ, like every week was an organ, and I think it was either five or six weeks.

It was mind blowing.  They went into so many details that I obviously, you know, I thought I knew it all, but I did not because it was just  fabulous how they presented this and they took it to the next level of what that means, about the world, about us, about how we interact, how it was. So, it was fantastic  and,  and they called it,  which is worthy of love.

Mm-hmm. And I thought that was  such a good name because knowing yourself and getting to understand how your body works is going to make you fall in love with yourself. With your body, with God, with the understanding of, whoa, like, you know,  we don't even get a tip of the iceberg of what is actually going on. 

That's literally like really, like I created the embodied course. Literally, like I say, your college teacher, right? Like whoever prepared you for marriage or growing up did not teach you this. You did not learn this in biology class. Like this is the truth about your body, about your cycle, about your fertility and hormones.

And we have like a eight week course on that. So it's,  yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I highly recommend. Anybody who is like, yeah, I know enough, it's fine. Like, no, take the course. Take any course that tells you they're going to talk to you about these things because knowing and digging deep is going to find parts in you that you didn't even know existed.

So, so powerful. And so one of my teenagers was listening in on one of the classes, and in that class they said that you should be aware of your period.  How, you know, what it feels like, what it looks like, what's going on, the differences, you know, from time to time because it really reflects what you've been going through in the last month.

A hard month is going to bring a hard period. You know, a lot of times you're going to feel like, oh, I finally like, you know, I'm, I'm realizing now how I wasn't really attentive, or I was working too hard, or I was, you know, pushing myself, or I had a lot of emotions this month, whatever it is, by the way, different teenagers.

I love that my kids are all coming up today. But anyway that awareness that it doesn't have to be the same every month  makes it that you actually don't have  to experience it the same every month. You know, it almost like changes your expectation.  I think, I remember  when I had my first baby  and I was talking,  I was pregnant with my second one, and I was talking to every woman I knew, like I basically interviewed the entire world and their mother about giving birth and how do I do it?

Like what did you do? What? How did you figure it out? And one lady said,  I never feel contractions. That's what she said to me. Mm-hmm. I have zero feeling of contractions. I only know when I feel like pushing and it's already too late and therefore I just end up, you know, giving birth at home and the ambulance has to come and blah, blah, blah.

And I thought to myself,  that's a possibility. You know, like in the, in my mind it was either like, eh,  you know, hurt, hurt to more hurt and to like, you know, the way it looks on TV hurt, but like, not in a million years did I think that it stretched all the way to zero.  And as soon as she said with period as well, by the way, you can have a pain for period.

Exactly. They're so, they're obviously, you know, connected. But  the second she said there is zero pain.  I said it to myself, that's possible. Like just the understanding  it there is so much.  Now that I could experience, right? It's not only this part of the entire prism, it's like I could experience any color of the prism and I, I just didn't know we're done with the black and white.

We have full color.  Yeah, I did not even know that was possible. But guess what? As soon as she said it, my brain just like reprogrammed itself. And it was like, okay, well now we gotta figure out where we are on the spectrum. And  it gave me more freedom to find myself where I wanted to be on the spectrum.

Like I wanna feel it, but I don't wanna die, so I'm gonna be somewhere in between where I feel really comfortable. Thank God for that lady because now I have eight kids and I don't think I could have continued if I didn't hear her say that. Like she doesn't even realize how powerful what she said to me was, but it opened up my mind.

And I think for women who have a hard period, or for women who have a hard time with their, you know, keeping the laws, knowing only what you know is creating the reality of hard and frustrating and, you know, miserable, opening yourself up to realizing that actually it could be so different. You just have to widen the spectrum of awareness. 

Yes.  I love watching how you just took that breath. It was almost like,  yeah, that was so feminine.  What you're describing as a relationship. I think this is like the key like this is what I teach in my body course. You're opening a relationship with your body, with your cycle. Like most people don't think of it that way.

But when you're in a relationship, you're not just trying to control the other force, the other to do something for you, whatever. You're in communication, right? And our body's in constant communication with us. Our cycle is in constant communication with us.  Do we have the language to listen? Do we know how our body's communicating with us?

And that's literally what fertility awareness and cycle awareness is. We're like understanding the language of our body, the language our body speaks to us, and opening that line of communication, opening that relationship of like, oh yeah, I don't have to have the same period every month. Oh, my period is telling me something.

Wait, yes, I had a very stressful month. And making those connections, first of all, releases so much of the charge and also makes it more meaningful and also. Really gives you back a lot of control as well, because you're like, oh yeah, maybe there's something I can do about that stress of my life.

I mean, not always is there, but like there's always some level of choice of maybe how I hold myself in it. Maybe there are some changes I can do. Maybe there's some boundaries to put out. Like our cycle is telling us how we can be the best version of ourselves for ourselves. And then of course it extends to others as well.

But we need to like really reclaim that for ourselves. And what you were saying before about the different body parts reflecting a different trait, I can tell you one thing that I teach in the course about the cervix boundaries.  Because the cervix opens and closes the specific times of the month based on what it lets in and what it doesn't let it. 

And you as,  as a feminine woman who has a cervix, your cells and your body are literally doing this. You can do this as well in your life and like have that discernment of like it's not bench is not about shutting out the cervix. It's not closed. It opens and closes depending on what the situation is. 

And that's literally what the essence of boundaries is, right? Like that's also something people are very confused about. Like, okay, I'm just gonna cut people outta my life. No, it's, and it's not even like, you don't even have to tell the other person necessarily. It's just something that you have inside yourself of like, this is what I am standing for.

This is what I'm not standing for. This is what I'm putting up in myself.  And boundaries is such a feminine trait. There's like, there's the,  there's the, the spheros, how do we translate that?  These energetic cabalistic principles  I guess. And like the two first ones are Chessed, which is loving kindness and Gevurah, which is strength.

And you would think that Chessed is feminine and Gevurah is masculine because strong is men and, and compassionate is women. But it's actually the opposite.  The masculine is that providing that, giving, that  that loving kindness. And the feminine is that strength the boundaries, because otherwise we can't be a receiver.

What you're just gonna like let everything into your life, and then what, what are you gonna have? Then it's what are you choosing to receive? And I'm receiving it intentionally.  I love that. I love that. You know, I was in a class last week, was it this week, and life goes by so fast. Anyway, this week I went to Katya Bulletin.

She she's a musician and an amazing woman, and she had a class in her house, and I went and I really enjoyed it. And she said something really powerful. She said, when it rains on the concrete, nothing happens. And when it rains on the ground, something grows.  And so  the answer isn't that it's, you know, it's not raining, it's raining all the time.

God's abundance is all the time. And the question is, are you closed up and tight and not letting anything in?  Or are you willing to be the vessel? Are you able to open up? Are you  going to let  yourself contain all of that abundance and then let that growth and that development happen through you?  I thought that was so powerful. 

Yeah. Yeah. I think  just the essence of the like this topic, feminity and God, I think what wraps it up a lot is what we spoke about is the,  a embodying the feminine aspect of God, the divine feminine, the  how do we do that? By knowing our feminine, knowing our cycle, understanding how our body was, understanding how we move in the world as women, and receiving from the masculine God, the masculine protector and provider as women, opening ourselves as a vessel. 

It's such a process. It's such a process. This is the secret to full womanhood, like being exactly who we're meant to be as women, having a thriving life, having the fullness of everything we're meant to receive  and being fulfilled. Like  having that thriving. Like it's not just about like getting over the pain or, or moving through the challenges of the day to day.

It's, I am in my full aliveness. I'm in my full thriving 'cause I'm connected to the life force in me that's  flowing through my cycle. And it's, again, we go through different parts of the cycle and there's gifts in each one, right? There's the menstruation is more of a receiving energy, more of a being energy and ovulation is more going out there  and putting our gifts to the world.

But we move through both energies and in the fullness of it. We are a cycle. We are a circle. We are equally distant from God. We are all receiving directly from him.  Yeah. I love that.  I love that Even within the cycle there's the masculine and the feminine. Right?  It's so fascinating and, and I think the main thing that we spoke about today,  I  was  opening up to receive,  and a lot of people don't know how to do that or even what that means.

So do you have like a practical question or something that people can really  come out of this podcast pondering?  How can I open myself up to receive? 

What's your relationship with trust? 

Tell me more.  So there's trust in yourself, trust in your body,  trusting.  Your spouse, if that's relevant and really at the center of it, trusting God. And that's a really deep one because first you have to decide what is your relationship with God and how are you receiving from him?  Yeah.  Yeah. I think that really wraps up the femininity and God theme here. 

Wow.  Yeah.  Whew.  I love it. I love it. Tell people how they can find you and how they can work with you.  So I'm on social media mostly on Instagram at reclaim womanhood. That's  the best place to reach me. Like if you can, you can always DM me. You can say hi. I'm offering a few exciting things now.

So first of all, I have my fertility awareness course that I mentioned. What I love about that is that it's super practical. Like we need to have this information about our bodies. And it works for both. If you're trying to conceive naturally, if you wanna avoid pregnancy naturally, if you wanna understand your hormonal health, it's a beautiful blueprint.

Understanding our cycles and  how we can, you know, support ourselves physically. But through that, like the whole essence of my course is really spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical. You know, really  supporting our cycle and understanding our cycle. So I offer that right now, twice a year.  And the next one is gonna be right after we're starting the last week of April, and then we'll have probably another one in the full,   and it's lifetime membership because I believe that if you. 

Coming here and having access to this information, you should always be able to come back to it because we change so much. As women, we go through different life stages. We cover postpartum and nursing and how that affects your fertility and how you can track your cycle naturally and not have to go on birth control.

Then as well, we cover coming off birth control. We cover perimenopause, all the different life stages and how you can really understand your cycle through everything.  Yeah, so that's the eight week course. It's called Embodied and you can find all the information on my Instagram, on my website.

My website is reclaim womanhood.com.  Then there are these like little immersions that I offer and the one I'm really excited about now is Redemptus, and that's a one week immersion that is not only a teaching, like of course I teach you all the beautiful teachings of what it means for women to be the vessels of redemption, but it's also experiential because you get to experience in your life today.

Sometimes we think of redemption as this far off concept. That's just not relevant to me because whatever, whenever m comes, like, it's not me right now, but in your life, what's your exile? What's your pain? What's your struggle? And how can you bring redemption to that through connecting to your feminine?

So I think that's very relevant and very powerful in our lives today.  And then in the summer, so when this podcast airs in the summer, this will probably be live, is my Secrets of Niddah  Immersion, which is also gonna run similar, has redemptus, it's gonna be teachings, beautiful teachings about the real essence of Niddah.

Nobody really talks about this 'cause most of the conversations of Taharas Hamishpacha family purity are mostly focused on mikvah immersion and coming back and like the laws and all that. I really focus on what is your power in the need of state in the separation. How can you really connect to yourself? Because the secret to connecting in union and marriage is to be of whole individual.

'cause we want two individuals.  Creating a whole, not two halves. I know we, we sold this lie that you're the other half. But no, we need to be whole. So that's what the need of process is really all about. Yeah. And then I offer one-on-one support as well for people who are looking to get pregnant, looking to balance their hormones, looking to understand their femininity and their cycles in a deeper way. 

That's amazing. That's so fun. That's great. I love it.  Ah, thank you so much for being here. There's so much we covered. I just wanna like sit here and enjoy it. I, I feel like I don't wanna hang up. I want us to all like sit here and just like let it soak in. 

Ah, that's such a powerful conversation. It's so beautiful. Yes. It's so beautiful. You know, there's a part of me that wants to remind everybody that you can go on my website connected for real.com, and I have a three month coaching program. And, you know, you can come and get my intimacy masterclass, but I don't even feel like saying anything.

I'm like, eh, all the links are below. I'm just enjoying this moment.  You left me in this, like, in feminine fashion.  We're Yes, yes. You left me in this like, nice and, you know, nice, warm, fuzzy state of being. It feels so good. And I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for this conversation. I grateful to do. I love that  we did this together.

Yes. Thank you so much. And to all you listening, thank you so much for being here. And don't forget to be back next week for another amazing episode. We're going to go into  femininity and you, so make sure you subscribe and don't forget to be connected for real.

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real?  And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode. 

Can you share it with them?  I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from  connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.