207. Allow Yourself to Expand in Business

Debbie Sassen is a Business Coach & Money Mentor and host of the Jewish Entrepreneur Podcast. She helps established entrepreneurs scale from six to seven figures with high-ticket offers, leveraged business models, and smart CEO strategies—all in alignment with Jewish values. Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman is a marriage coach for women in business. Join them as they talk about the topic of Expansion and Business.

  Welcome to the Connected For Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, a marriage coach for women in business. And my mission is to bring God's presence into your life, into your marriage and into your business. Let's get started.

Welcome to the Connected for Real podcast. I'm Rebbetzin Bat-Chen Grossman, and today with me is Debbie Sassen. Hello. And you guys have heard about Debbie 'cause she is my first coach and today we're talking about expansion and business. So you guys know I have four pillars, God, marriage, business, and you.

These are the four pillars of everything that I do. You should be well-rounded in all of these so that your life is in flow. And because of that, I created my podcast to have that structure. So we're talking this month about expansion in general, expansion and God expansion and marriage, expansion in business and expansion in you.

And this is the session with Debbie, which is all about your business and money. So get excited 'cause this is gonna be a really good one. Okay. Debbie, introduce yourself and tell everyone why I love you so much. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. I'm a business coach, former investment banker, former financial planner who went through some iterations in life and business.

And after bringing money coaching and money mindset into my financial planning work, people started asking me about like, Hey, you work a lot with money. Can you help me grow my business? So that's how I went from one thing to the next. And now I coach six figure women. That's what they're making in their business.

And they want to scale to seven figures and they wanna build lasting wealth. And most of my clients, they want like, subtle wealth. We're not talking extravagant, flashy, but we wanna live comfortably, give to our kids. 'cause like, you know, we know in our world, like our, our kids, we, I don't know, we have them until like forever. They don't go away. Thank God. We help them get started. We help, you know, we help them to, you know, whatever we can to put down payments on apartments in Israel where you and I both live. And that's part of our value system. So we want to have that for our future, for our kids, and also for us when we, you know, don't wanna be recording podcasts anymore.

I can't imagine not recording podcasts, but yes. That's really cool. So. What does expansion mean to you in general, and then how do you bring it into business? Expansion means wherever you are today that you see there's possibility for more. That can be more clients. Let's say you have now 10 clients in your business and you wanna serve 12, you wanna serve 20.

So there's a possibility to expand your capacity to hold more people in your business. It can be expanding in your marriage and bringing more love, bringing more connected, I mean connected for real, right? They're just bringing deep, it's like there's like depth and there's expansion. So maybe how you know your husband.

'cause we do get into these habits after my husband and I had been married for 30 some odd years. It's now 37. No, 35. So, but whatever. I did marriage coaching. I went to a marriage coach. 'cause I'm like, Hey, you know, my husband and I have been together. We have our beautiful eight children, we have grandchildren, thank God.

And we kind of got into this loop of doing a lot of the same things over again. But we're approaching empty nest, and I want our marriage to keep expanding as the kids move out and the grandkids come back. So right, there's, there's all, there's, there's more levels, there's more depth, there's areas that haven't been explored, and that's what expansion is.

It's not Groundhog Day over and over again. Yes. And with money we can expand to also, it's not just making more money. I think that in the business coaching world, a lot of coaches get fixated on, I can help you make more, make more, make more. Which is great. But what about holding more, what about having money in a I call it financial freedom, so that if one of your friends.

If you still have friends who live overseas, right. And you know, like, I've been in Israel for a long time, but you wanna go to a friend's, I don't know, they get married, one of their kids gets married, and you wanna, you wanna go or you get an invitation and you just wanna take some time off from work and take advantage of something.

Just having a money in a buffer account gives you financial freedom and then holding money, investing, making your money grow for you. So you have, for your retirement, you have to help your kids when they grow up. That's expansion. Right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think the biggest expansion I had was starting to work with you because until that point I was still doing everything freebie.

You know, like there's stages of growing a business, and in the beginning you're just consuming a ton of free coaching, free podcasts, free, you know, freebies. Yeah. Like downloading every PDF, downloading every like summit and bundle and whatever. And that's really the best way to start is you don't have to pay for it if it's already there.

Like, you have to get educated about the basics and it doesn't matter how. Right. And then you get to a point where you're like, okay, I am hearing the same thing over and over again from different places. Everybody's in agreement that these are the basics, right? Like, what do I do to actually implement, how do I make this work?

And. I found you at I think it was a summit or something. I watched a video that you presented and I was like, oh, look at that. You know, she's like, from my world, she has a bunch of kids and she gets it. I'm gonna work with her. And it was really fun because it forced me to pause and look at my life, not from a business money perspective, but just like, what do I want?

Mm-hmm. And what am I here to do? And like I remember a lot of the time, like, and it was also right as Corona hit. Do you remember I paid you? Yeah. Yes I do. I paid you upfront before Corona hit like the most money in my life I've ever paid for anything. And then Corona hits and like what I just paid for this like Hashem, are you kidding?

And you know what, it was actually a a beautiful time 'cause people were at home, especially marriage coaching. People were at home, they were on top of each other, you know? But also people were finding each other online. So for many coaches, Corona was a great time, like for me. And my business also expanded in during the Corona times.

I mean, it's kept since then, but it was for a lot of people that were doing online businesses. It was great. Yeah. And sporting, it was, it was a really good, like first lesson, it was a really good first lesson. I did not even walk into coaching with you. And the first lesson was, I could look at this as like, you know, God just messed up my schedule, ruined my career.

Like I just paid for something that I'm not gonna take advantage of. Or I could lean into and say, how do I make this work with the situation at hand? And that was such a great thing because as soon as I committed fully and was like, okay, I guess this is exactly what needs to be. Every time we met, I was making progress and I was moving forward, and we were talking about things like, I really felt like you took out of me, like you were pulling out of me.

Things that I wasn't able to say when it was just me and myself or me, and whatever recordings. You know, I, I, I, I, I thank you. I, I really, I appreciate hearing that. I mean, and as a coach, that's part of what we do, but I wanna point out your strength because you asked a question, I guess, of yourself, like, how do I make this work?

Right? And not being in like, victim mentality, right? You're not, you were like, okay, God, I guess this is what you want from me. Now how do I make it work? Not like, oh my gosh, it's the end of it, it's the end of the money, I'm lost, and then digging yourself into a hole and disappearing for six months, but you're like, I guess this is what it's supposed to be.

Let's figure it out. And that attitude, and I'm sure that you bring that into the coaching that you do with your clients, right? You help them figure out how to make it work. Right, right. Yeah. I heard people, like six months into Corona, I heard a podcast where the lady said, if I would've known it would've been this long, then I would've done things I was afraid to do in public, you know, like, cut my hair short or do like, you know, things like that.

She's like, it could have grown out by now, you know, and I, it made me think of how many things we don't do because we're afraid of what other people are going to say, or we're afraid of certain situations that sort of disappeared when we were all locked down, you know? Yeah. Like we weren't seeing each other anymore.

Our people were very. It was, it was a crazy time, but I really believe that it prepared us for what's coming next. Like, you know, it was like, at the time we thought this was the biggest thing in history. Like, everybody take notes, we're gonna have to remember this. And now I'm thinking, oh, it was just a prerequisite to the war.

And the war. Oh my God. Yeah. Like, oh, the kids, they didn't go to school. They lost so much learning time. And then what do we faced in the last couple of years? Yeah. More, yeah, more school time out, more upside down schedules, more lack of clarity, more unknown. Yeah. My daughter was first grade, Corona, second grade, Corona, third grade.

There was a, a teacher's strike, so they didn't have school, fourth grade war, fifth grade war. Like, they're just, they're making jokes about this, you know? I'm like, oh my gosh. Well, listen, I got a call yesterday from my granddaughter. She's like. Softa bubby. Like, grandma, can you come to my drama performance, her drama performance was supposed to be in June.

Yeah. When we were attacked by Iran. So I'm, I'm like, okay. I guess we're coming in September. Yeah. Yeah. We missed a bunch of parties. Yeah. There was no graduations. There was no Hummish parties. Everything was canceled. Right. I sat out in the hot sun when my baby graduated eighth grade. Because it was outside in the schoolyard at three in the afternoon for like crazy reasons to, you know, to do it then.

But we made a Bar Mitzvah, our baby, he had a bar mitzvah in Corona and we made a wedding. Yeah. In gardens. It was so great actually. Yeah. Yeah. That was really cool. It was really cool. Like saying cool about it now seems a little bit like you know, how could you say that, but. I having experienced a, you know, terror attack and well thank God I did not experience the terror attack, but I had to go through it with my brother.

You have this belief and I think that's what is holding my brother and all the people who are going through these really difficult things. You know, that you're gonna laugh about it, you know that there's going to be things that are going to be better, that are going to show themselves and be like, okay.

It wasn't as bad as I experienced in that. Like, everything is only bad moment. Mm-hmm. You know, like in the beginning. You can fall into it. Like, okay, that's it, it's over. But the thing that keeps them going is that this has to be for the good. It has to be good for me. And then, like you were saying about me, so I think it's a family superpower.

You're like, how do we make this work? Because it must be good for me because it must be a gift. I think that's really I guess something that, like you say, I, I definitely teach it to everybody. And, and for so many of us, because of like, there's the nature of nurture things. Some people maybe didn't see it in their families growing up.

Some people might be wired to be more pessimistic than others. I know my husband and I, I tend to be more optimistic. He tends to be more pessimistic or more cautious. So, but, but just. Looking, asking yourself the questions like, how can this be good for me? Right. This must be good for me. It's like going to the gym.

Like, you don't just go to the gym once, you don't just get on the treadmill for two hours and you're like, now I'm fit forever. Right. You go week day, you know, every other day you keep going. You're half an hour, you're 10,000 steps, you're bench presses, whatever you're doing. And it's, the long term is it's gonna keep you fit.

So that's spiritually to keep asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mother said everything she ever learned from the moment she was little, everything just started to float up because she needed to access it. Yeah. You know, and it, it, it's such a powerful thing and I think we're, we're talking about expansion and when I gave birth before I hired you, I, I had a baby.

Mm-hmm. I don't know if you remember that. I came in and, and afterwards, yes, I do. Now that you went to, but you also had a baby after. Yes. Yes. I had two babies after I have eight now. Thank God. So when I worked with you, I had six. I felt like, oh my gosh, I have so many kids now. I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so many kids.

So, I don't know, I guess the feeling never goes away, never goes away. And then they come back. My daughter's living with me with her four kids between apartments. So credential, they come back. exponential growth. There you go. Expansion. I'm telling you, I'm sitting here going, wow, wow. It blows my mind. So anyway, and people say like, how do you do it?

So I just want you to know, I don't know how I do it. It's a miracle. It, it's yeah. Also you get into like rhythms and systems. That definitely helps. But anyway, but that's the same thing as business, right? Like how do you do it? How do you record a podcast, right? You have to think of a topic, you have to find a guest, or maybe you do some by yourself, some with guests.

You have to have a process for editing it, for getting it up onto the interwebs. Like there's a process. And in business, if you have certain processes that repeat themselves over and over, you have your SOPs, your standard operating procedures, and if you have that, then you can outsource it to, I know you have an assistant, so that takes some of it off of you.

And now you have just like your kids can help you with the dishes, the kids help you with the laundry. Your assistant helps you with the podcast, your assistant helps you with invoicing, whatever she does, and there's a system. No, that's automated. Thank God for tamima.

I have to tell you, having the right people. In your life is a huge thing. Yeah. You know, like I know I have this tech girl who, you know, Tamima, you guys all know her by now, but like Tamima gas is so good at what she does. So she will figure it out. Like you said, how do I figure this out? It must be possible Tamima.

She figured it out. She's so great. So it's automated. I don't ever touch it. Ever McKen. I wanna say something also, when you said like Tamima Tamima and you said like having people on your team, and this is such a, an important point for people who own businesses and also, you know, it's useful in your house as well.

Sometimes we bring people into our business or you can bring you know, whether it is someone to help babysit your kids, like am metapelet, we say in Hebrew or a cleaner into your house. They're not the right fit, right? And we want to be nice to other people. It's kind of also connects with Corona.

Like, we're afraid. What are people gonna say? Or they think I'm gonna jerk, they think I'm mean, or whatever it is. And we as women, sometimes we don't wanna hurt people's feelings. So you bring someone onto your team, your home team, your business team, and then you suffer. Because you have the tech girl that's really not very techie or you have the cleaning lady who like, doesn't really clean your toilets properly, but you're like, okay, after she leaves I'll just put the brush in and I'll do it the way I want.

Rather than either opening up and saying, Hey dear sweet cleaning, Lydia, I love you very much. Can you use a little more elbow grease? Or just letting her go if it doesn't work. 'cause we take so much on ourselves that we don't need to. Right. And you know, that's part of the expansion. It's being able and willing to hold these experiences of letting someone go of communicating hard things of, you know, getting out of your own way that are going to help you expand.

Like expansion doesn't just happen on its own. It's you really being willing to step into it. And I also wanna add to that. Yes. Step into it and believe you're worthy of it. Like you deserve to have somebody on your team that you don't have to babysit. Like we don't need to helicopter parent. The people on our team, we like, we hire them to make our lives easier, and when we make our lives easier, as women in business, we can have a bigger impact.

On the world, right? You can reach more people with your podcast. You can coach more people similar to me, you know? 'cause we have a, a similar type of business. When I have the right support team, I can bring my zone of genius. I can do my work in the world. You can do your work in the world and you don't have to hold space in your head for, oh, what's gonna go wrong?

Oh, do I have to follow up? Right? And that's something to believe that we deserve it, you know, whatever it is we deserve support like that. You know, we have a, like my husband always jokes, like, if I say, no, don't worry, I'll do it. He says, oh, you're being a martyr. Are you being one of those Jewish women?

One, the, one of those Jewish grandmothers who like, do everything. And I think that's something that we have learned and we've expanded into believing that we're worthy of support and we can ask for things we can receive. Like, that's a big piece of worthiness and expansion is believing that you can receive, mm, receive a compliment, receive more money from your clients, receive support.

Doesn't make you weaker, doesn't make you nasty. It makes you just more and be able to, to do more of what you're here to do in the world. Yes. So how do we expand in business? Let's get into it. I get practical. So this is really a great timing. Yesterday for the people in my coaching program, I did a planning session, a hundred days of planning.

First of all, I believe in not 12 week years. There's a great book, the 12 week year, I don't believe in quarterly planning for Jewish women in particular. I believe in like trimester, I call it a hundred days of planning. 'cause every like four month block of time has a Jewish new year in it, or it has a Passover in it, or it has a huge summer vacation when our kids like.

Don't know what to do. Mm. And we have to keep them entertained. I don't so much anymore, I just invite my kids over and put a blow up pool in the garden. But many of my clients still have little kids. And so, and we wanna take vacations in the summer. So first of all, expanding, you need to plan your expansion.

Like, don't just hope that it's going to happen. So we did planning, like, where are you going to grow in the next a hundred days till the end of 2025? And I gave them a make, you know, a commitment to revenue generating activities for your business. So what are you gonna do to attract more clients?

And so many people need to work on their marketing and their messaging. Right. Their messaging is very vague. They wanna talk to everybody and listen. You speak with women, God-centered women who wanna work on their business and their marriage, like that's a very niche service. Yeah. But that's great. That means if somebody is a single woman, I mean, she might still join your program because you have amazing stuff to offer, but she's not your ideal.

Or maybe you don't even let her, because I don't even take her in I, I, you know. Okay. I love meeting them and I help them find the right. Person for them. But I am so clear that I work with married women because there's something about being married within the business world that changes the entire rules of the game because Oh yeah.

You suddenly have someone else who's giving you advice, who is your, you know, getting in your kishkas about how are you doing things and you're doing it wrong, and you should do it this way. And, you know, and then thinks that he's supportive, but he's actually draining you by his, you know? Mm-hmm. Being like on top of you.

So every person has a different husband and different style of marriage, but it's a completely different ball game. Yes. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And also then I also find this is me. I can be very masculine in my energy. Right, like strategic and planning and do, do, do, I mean my husband is also like that, that's his nature, right?

But talk about receiving and your receptivity as a woman. Right. We also wanna back off, we wanna have that different relationship with our husband. He's not, he's, he is not the someone that we can like, you know, be in that tougher, masculine energy. We wanna be softer, we wanna bring our feminine into the marriage and not always be in our head.

Right? So, but we're, anyway, but so planning, you know, what are you going to do to bring in money into your business to expand, to receive more. It's gonna be your mindset, your marketing, your selling skills. And then there's something infrastructure, like bringing two revenue generating, maybe need to commit to going to networking meetings.

One networking meeting a week for the rest of the year. Maybe it's, I need to set up my email list 'cause they don't have an email list. Maybe I have one, but I don't send emails regularly. You work with women who are making six figures and they don't have an email list. I wanna meet them. Yeah, because you know why you can make money if you have a very strong social media presence.

Right. And I have a couple of clients that do have email lists, but their referral network is very good. Okay. And so they don't necessarily need it or they have one and they just don't use it. But one of my clients, since we started working together about a year and a half ago, she started an email list only this year in 2025.

And she sends it out once a month. She doesn't even do weekly emails and she has a six figure figure business. Right. But that's something that we're, you know, because she needs to expand the pool of potential clients and you can't keep in touch with everybody by phone or by LinkedIn or, or whatever. We have to have other ways of reaching our clients.

Yeah, one of my clients in the New York area, she has a very referral network. She does have an email list for like a different smaller service that she offers, but hers is all referrals. And you know, that's the way she's, she's had her business for 30 years, so it, it just keeps working.

It's, but yeah, I love referrals. We were just talking about that. I know someone who's really good. She was on my podcast, Estee Cohen. She's great at creating connections between people and being referred all the time. Yeah. Like people are just like constantly saying her name. That's amazing. And there are people who are really, really good connectors and they should leverage what they're good at.

Right. We all, I think that's also an important point, like that's why I said two revenue generating activities. If you're great on a podcast, if you're great on video, if you're great on social media, if you wanna be on social media, some of my clients don't even wanna be on social media. Some of mine aren't even like anywhere near the internet.

Yeah. Which is really funny. Yeah. And somehow they found you anyway. So isn't that leverage what you're good at? Like one of my clients in the States, she is, she's a homeopath and she's gonna create a referral network with chiropractors and energy healers and people who have, who work with the same type of clients she does.

And she is on like Substack, she doesn't have to be on all the places. But that's what's so beautiful, is you get to design your business the way you want. And then one like infrastructure thing. So maybe you need to work on some SOPs, maybe you need to fix your website. I'm, and I'm not talking about wasting time tweaking your fonts and tweaking your colors.

And I did a brand redesign end of last year, beginning of this year. It sort of like, you know, took time, but you can also make money without, without having the perfect fonts and colors on your website. You can make money without having a website. Exactly. Plenty people who do that. Exactly. So find what's the thing, like again, we talked about SOPs.

If there's the thing that you do over and over and over again, you do it manually, let's, maybe one of your things to do is create that system, create that workflow, create something so you know it, and your assistant. And, and I did that this year with putting on webinars and masterclasses. It's like a very specific system.

And now we put it, my assistant and I, we put it in our Trello board, and then we just check, check, check, check, check. But for the longest time, I've been in business for a while, I was carrying all of that in my head, right? So like, wherever you are in business, all of the listeners, if you're carrying stuff in your head, I'm with you, girl.

Like, there's so much to do in business that you, you have to take a certain timeframe, like a hundred days. And that this is what I did in the first a hundred days of this year, is like really systematizing my webinar masterclass process. So now it's so easy and I don't have to keep reinventing the wheel out of my brain.

Right. I love it. And I think for expanding in anything, but specifically in business, the, the mindset, the, you know questioning things. Yep. Like you were saying, oh, I could decide that this is the worst thing that ever happened. Or I could decide to ask a question.

Mm-hmm. You know, what can I do with this? How can I show up differently? What am I going to do? So it's, it's, it almost like creates an opening for you to grow because when you're very, very tight and very, very structured and you have the ways things are done, and you know, things are very solid, it doesn't always allow you to grow because it's just too tight.

Yeah. And, and if I, if you're still coaching the same way as you, did, you, you pretty much lean on Byron Katie's work, or you don't do that anymore? I, I teach Byron Katie's work, but it's only one of my trainings and I have many trainings. Now I do a lot more intuitive meditations like guided meditations and active meditations where they actually talk through it and I take notes and then I reflect to them what they said. It's so different than how I used to do things, but I'm still the same person, still the same values, still in the same, you know, direction. But it was a really good place to start. Well, I remember actually when you, when you now said the meditations and the visualizations, I remember you bringing to coaching some, like something that you did, some visualization meditation you did with your, one of your clients.

I'm like. How did you do that? I remember being blown away by you doing it was like, I don't know. It just came to me. And that's, that's your gift is leaning in, you know, one of your gifts. Yeah. Leaning into intuition, just feeling those like divine downloads of where you need to take your coaching sessions.

Yeah. So I definitely, that was always there, but I owned it, like you said, you know, like sort of be willing to receive it. It took me a while, but not that long. There was resistance and I was like, but who am I to like say, you know, who did I learn this from? How did this come to me? I have no idea. But I, I know I experienced it for the first time with my mentor Avila Hassan, who did a marriage course here many years ago.

She's since passed away. But once I experienced it and realized the power of guided meditations, I just started doing them. But like. Yeah, it's very cool. Very cool. Amazing. Also, like the clarity, you get the answers, you get the downloads, you get, like, women tell me, how did you get that so quickly?

Like, how, how did we, what, you know, sometimes you think the answer is in one place, so if we would talk about it, you're like, but I need to force it in. Like, I need to explain to you why this is related to this, why this is da da. But then we go into meditation, it's like, what's holding you back? And suddenly they see like their sister and something she said, you know, when they were little, like, what?

Like, yeah, there's this very strong belief that women are not supposed to be this way or that I am, you know, too baby-ish to be able to grow my business or whatever it is. Like something that she did not have in her consciousness that just came up. It popped up out of nowhere. Like what is she doing here?

I was actually just at a concert with Ariela Zeitlin Hoffman. Oh, couple. He's a violinist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love her. And she invited me to her concert and she said something so beautiful. She was telling her story and she said her father was like her mentor for, you know, violin.

And he was like, God, anything he said was true. She was learning violin from like a very young age. By the time she was 11, she was really, really good. She's amazing. She is. Yeah. He is amazing. Yeah. And. We were friends. Like she used to live here in, so I, I know her as, I didn't that. Okay. I know her as a real person too.

And she's amazing also as a real person. But anyway, so she said one day her father sat her down and said, you can never get married if you wanna be a successful violinist. Wow. And you can't be religious if you wanna be a successful violinist. Huh. So, you know, fast forward a bunch of years and when she was 11, of course it was easy for her to promise that, you know, she was never gonna get married and she says, that day I went and stopped being religious at 11 years old because Oh, wow.

Because she knew that she wanted to be a big violinist. And meanwhile, like, you know, so she says afterwards she met her husband in Jerusalem when she was here for the year. And, you know, she ended up starting to like, learn more and be inspired and whatever. And then she got this really big. Break, you know, like, wow, this school that is, you know, that she wanted to get into, she got into whatever, and it was a summer program.

She went to them, her, oh, the, the guys she met, who ended up being her husband, said, but don't forget Shabbos. So she said, don't worry, I'll make it work. And she made it work. And it was amazing because she broke that belief in her mind. Yeah. That I can do both. She made it work and after six weeks of making it work, her grandfather walked in, 'cause he was one of the teachers there.

He walked in and said to her, you're keeping Shabbas. It's your fault. Everybody hates the Jews. You are the reason there's antisemitism. And started screaming at her, yelling at her being really upset and kicked her out of the program. Oh, wow. And it was so shaking. Like I felt the pain, like when she told the story, I felt the pain and I said, wow.

The belief is not only, you know, in what he said then, but like, he's, it, you know, it's coming to get her, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, it was so powerful how she described it. Then at the end she said, I just want you guys to know that there are beliefs that we all have and things in life that wanna like, keep sticking it in our face.

But it's not true. You have to be able to hold both. And just the way that she's a religious woman with a family and children like her kids are amazing and her husband's amazing. And like the way she's able to do all the things and also completely break through, like she is top notch. She is. She's like, wow, wow.

I didn't know her story. Thank you. Yeah. So it just like blew my mind and believe me, in the world, they have enough reasons to hate us. It's not because of you know, keeping shabbos at violin camp. Oh, of course. Obviously, obviously. But yeah, I guess that's, that's we, and we don't know his story and why he has that belief and why he has that trauma.

But of course when you break through. But I, I am gonna circle back to what I said because, you know, with the Byron Katie work that you, you know, probably still weave into it, just asking. Is it true? Like, come back to beliefs. Like is it true and is it absolutely true? And you know, when you get to that absolutely true bit, it's like there, there's an opening there, right?

That, that eye of the needle, right? That opening that maybe it's not right. And that's like my clients with like raising prices, but nobody's gonna pay that price. Is it true? Oh, it was thanks to you, it was thanks to you that I have the same price for everyone. Everybody I spoke to until that point had an Israel price and an America price.

Ah, good for you. Yay. And it's like, well, you know, if you're in Israel then you need to pay less 'cause you make less and whatever. Mm-hmm. And I just didn't get that. I'm like you know, my prices aren't that expensive. I'm not just like some, like super, super duper. I don't know why. It's like my, you know, it's the going rate.

I'm taking regular going rate prices of coaches. I'm serving a ton and I'm like fully there with you. Like I am in your pocket at all times. Like I have WhatsApp support people just like texting me questions all the time. Like, Hey, can you look at my website? You know, I think my husband's annoyed with me.

My daughter just screamed. My baby's not sleeping through the night. Whatever's coming up that's bothering you that you want to shake off and like be, be free and, and flow. You know, there's like nothing being choppy. Bring it on. I can handle it. So like for the amount of me you get, this is a very good price.

Even in shackles. You can pay in Israel, you can pay in America, you can pay in Sterling, whatever it is, it's one price. Yes. And the coolest thing that happened recently, I looked at my, you know, like I was trying to find where my people are coming from. 50% of my clients are in Israel. Amazing. That's great.

Paying, paying dollar prices, not because there's some like rich whatever, it's just because they understand the value and they would have paid it, you know? Anyway, so it's, it's, it blew my mind and it was thanks to you. So you get credit for that. I'm so happy. Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it. Thank you. I'm gonna expand, I'm gonna take the credit.

Thank you. I, and I'll also, I'm gonna add to that, and when you actually changed your belief and be like, yeah, the work I'm doing, it's valuable wherever, and you, you know, made everybody equal. There's an overriding feeling among certain people, let's say. This was a discussion in a WhatsApp group recently, so I'm gonna bring it that, that we need to be accessible to more people.

So we need to keep our, our prices low. And what the person said is like, well, if your, if your prices are high, you're only serving the top one or 2% of the population. And I said, I'm perfectly happy only serving the top one or 2% of the population, although I don't think that all my clients fit there.

I said, but, and this is for both you and for me. I said, I have a lot of free resources, right? We have free podcasts where people can be listening to this and they can just in this one second, flip their belief on, oh, I can charge the same prices in Israel and outside of Israel because they heard it free podcast.

And heads up everybody, both. Bat-Chen and I pay for our podcast to be produced into the world, right? So your free content is our, we pay for it to be out into the world, right? I'm not looking for like gold starts for doing that, but it's a business expense, right? So I'm like, I'm really happy serving my, you know, my one-on-one clients at really high rates because I do group programs that are less incredibly valuable.

I think that group is great because you have synergies that people see other people, like, you know, doing, you know, similar things, different things. There's a lot of awareness and I've got lower priced, masterclasses free stuff out on, out on the internet, so it can all work. And when you lean into your intuition, this is, this is so beautiful and you decide to do what you feel is the right thing for your people and your business, there's so much possibility.

And that's, that's expansion. I think also the other thing is that when you expand, you take everyone along with you. Yes. Like expansion is contagious. Mm-hmm. And when I expand to say everybody I serve is equal. Mm-hmm. I allow them to see themselves as equal. And now they're no longer, oh, poor me. I live in a country that makes less money, that makes it hard to live, that has a war, you know, that is like this, that the other, like these things can really push you down.

And subconsciously you are making different decisions than if you were living somewhere else with a different life circumstance. And even if this life circumstance is way worse, but in your mind, location would change your circumstance, I am giving you permission to let go of that story and say, I am like anyone else.

We all have life circumstances, we all have things that are going on. So this one has a war and this one has a sickness and this one has a family drama. And this is whatever. It does not matter. We all have stuff to live with. We all have stuff. I am, I'm helping you bring yourself up to the level of my ability to contain you.

So in, in a, in a way, I am gifting them. This higher level of consciousness. Oh yeah, a hundred percent. You're, it's like that little cliche, right? A rising tide lifts all boats. Yeah. So you're the, you're like, you're the tide and you're lifting them up. And, and I'm just gonna reinforce what you just said.

You know, we live in Israel, it's a small country. First of all, our high tech industry, like, there are a lot of people making lots and lots of money in Israel and in the high tech and, you know, other areas also. But I was recently in a business meetup in Toronto, and there was a woman there from Croatia.

Okay. Now go and ask Chachi pt, how many people are in Croatia? It's like half the size of Israel, maybe even a little bit less. But their, you know, average income is even less than in Israel. She is making more than me. Right? She is, we're killing it in her business, selling products to people in Croatia, whose, you know, average income is less than in Israel.

So we have to just like. Delete this idea that woe is me in Israel. Her people, her clients aren't even English speakers. So her people who that she can work with are way less like, we can work with people in New York, in Australia. I mean, you know, California, Singapore, we, we can work with people all over the world.

They all speak English. Right. And she speaks in Croatian to her people. Like there are not a lot of people and she's killing it in business. Wow. I love that you have examples of like the opposite of what we believe. Because seeing an example, example helps you expand. And I'll tell you why. Because your subconscious only understands two languages, images and words.

Okay. Tell me more. So that's an image in your mind? Yes. Yes. So that's why vision boards are so powerful. Hmm. 'cause you're seeing in, in, you know. In front of you in a physical way, what you're expecting to see in real life. Also guided imagery because you see what you wanna see and then you, you get used to the idea.

Okay? Also imagine on the opposite end, we're just talking about visions now, like images now where your sun is climbing the tree, your brain is feeding you, not stories, not whatever's, images of him falling. Yes. Right? And that is why you react, not because you see some like nice glowing. Wow. He made it look at him so proud.

No, your brain is showing you like you already see it happening. That's the words we're using. I see it happening. Mm-hmm. Because I am seeing in my mind's eye what I expect to happen. And so you become intentional and see the things you wanna see based on the way that your brain is programmed and the words.

Are the reason why neuro-linguistic programming NLP works so well, because they use also, you know, image words and images imagin together, imagination, but also they tell you how important the words you're using are. So like, ah, this is killing me. Ah, you know, whatever. Like all the words that we use are extremely powerful in our experience.

So, you know, the choice of words that you're going to choose to say, you know, do I live in a settlement or do I live in a town, is a huge difference. And to us, we don't even hear the difference because to us it's all English. And like I live in Yeshuv. I don't know what that means, but like, yes, no, I live in a town, I live in a town north of Jerusalem.

It is a beautiful town. It is a town with over a thousand families with a neighboring town that has almost 2000 families. You know, it's gigantic. We're a huge town. But like if people hear like, oh, you live in a settlement, it probably looks like two little houses on a hill. You know, like, 'cause words create images like automatically and settlement has its own connotation that people, you know, of course that people will think.

And I'm just gonna circle back one thing. 'cause marriage business, this woman in Croatia has four kids. Hmm. So like even thinking, oh yeah, she's doing better than Debbie because like, she's not a single woman. She's married, she's got four kids. She's also carrying a lot of stuff. And so that's really to just rewrite the script on anybody who's thinking, I have little kids and she just now is hiring.

A cleaner for her house, like daily. So she's been doing all this stuff. So anybody who's thinking, no, I have four little kids, you know, and I can't do it all and, and whatever. There's evidence in the world that we can expand and that's, this is where I talk to my clients about capacity. We can expand our capacity.

To do more, to hold more, to believe more. Now, a lot of where we get distracted, especially in Israel, is we can get, just get glued to the news because of our, you know, security situation, et cetera. And we can also go down a lot of like rabbit holes and like in, you know, I'm talking to a person who's had a really big, big trauma in the last three, four months.

But those of us who are living, you know just the regular living, we can, you know, use that as a reason why we're not focusing. Right. So even expanding your ability to focus, focusing for longer periods of time, not getting distracted by pings and notifications on your phone, putting your phone somewhere else where you're not, you know, are, we're just like.

We're just like programmed. And this was actually one thing that I took on myself. So now everybody is on the airwaves is hearing it. I said yesterday when I was doing my workshops with my clients, I said, I can't get on social media till 10 o'clock in the morning. Oh. I was like, this is one of my boundaries that I'm gonna stick to.

And we're on video, right? So I have this little jar of marbles and I'm gonna put a marble into a jar every day that I hold my belief. 'cause we're also like kids, you're talking visualizations. We wanna see the container of marbles fill up.

  Hey, before we continue the episode, I want to ask you something. Are you ready to get answers from God directly, feel more in love with your husband and more supported than ever? Run the business of your dreams without having to sacrifice any other part of your life? That is exactly what my one-on-one private coaching is for, and I want to invite you, just you and me.

For a free deep dive discovery call, this is a 60 minute free call where I ask you lots of questions and we extract the three main things that are holding you back. I then put together a personalized plan for you where I create a roadmap of recommendations. With practical steps, the call is free and so valuable in itself.

So go book yours today. Now back to the show.

 I love that you said that. 'cause also the thing that helped me start praying every day was the little cubes in the, you know, bullet journaling, uhhuh. So, so like every day was a black square, and then you visualize, like you really see the whole month in your face. Like, wow, 50% of the days I prayed every day. Okay. I could do this. Yeah. You know? And then like, I missed two, I prayed seven, so like, it's not so bad.

I'm doing good. But like if you don't have visual things, you live in the moment. Yeah. And when you make decisions from where you are right now and how you feel right this minute, your decisions are based on now. So your decisions will keep you in the here and now. You're not going to be able to move forward when you're making decisions of where you are.

Your decisions have to come based on where I want to be. So you, I think you taught me this. Maybe, yeah. You make decisions from your future self, not from where you are now, but like your future self on December 31st. Right. What would she have told you to do today? Like, how would she be acting? How would she and this is where I'm, I'm expanding, like even thinking of my business, I'm, I'm trying to think of like, okay, if I'm running a coaching enterprise, right?

If I'm running a hundred million dollars coaching enterprise, like how would that CEO version of me, you know, show up and I'm, I'm sort of like playing around with it. Like maybe that's too expansive. Maybe like a $10 million coaching enterprise rather than a hundred million. So, you know, I have to like start like feeling into it and, but I don't wanna keep it at a million dollars.

I want to expand because a $10 million a year CEO is a, is a different identity from a $1 million a year CEO, right? So, yeah. I have a funny example somebody just gave me, she says they bought the house. They already took out a mortgage, did all the things, whatever. They bought the house and she hated the, the kitchen.

So her husband said, instead of getting a whole new kitchen, it's gonna be too expensive. Let's just change the countertop. And all of the cabinet doors. If the cabinet doors are new and the countertop is new, then it won't bother you so much. And that's what they did. But now, 10 years later, she's telling me she's like, it was the dumbest thing we could have done because the countertop is the most expensive part of the kitchen and the cabinet doors are the most expensive part of the cabinet.

So like I already was going to pay that much money if I was thinking like I am now, which is like 10 years later and like less poor and less. Restricted and less like whatever. I was already taking a loan, like the mortgage was already there, you know, it would not have taken more than maybe 10,000 more or something very like, you know, when you're thinking these big numbers and like 10,000 is nothing compared to like the amount of money they paid for the house and all of the money they had to put into it and the lawyer fees and all, whatever.

It was like, just do it right the first time. She says, I wish somebody would have told me that. And sometimes you think to yourself like, I don't know what I don't know. But sometimes you do know, right? Sometimes you could think as as like, okay, if I wasn't in this very tight situation right now and I actually had expansion, even if it's not real, what would I say to do?

You know, what would be the right, the smart thing? And a lot of times, because we have a hard time, we're in it, having a outside person talk to you and, and you know, break it down for you is so powerful. A hundred percent. But this is also 'cause in marriage and you're a marriage coach, so this is, this is perfect.

Like he has his money mindset, right? And she has her money mindset. And I don't know if she even had the, the ability to think about, but he's like, let's do that. And that's what they did. And they might not have even entertained it, but he might have been coming into it from a more, you know, closed or more limited money mindset.

And he had a harder time envisioning what. I don't know what their, what their salaries could be or maybe, who knows? 'cause we didn't ask him 10 years ago, like maybe he was thinking we'll save that 10,000 and we'll put it away for our kids for when we wanna help the Marriott. Like we, we don't even know.

But when you have two people who have different money mindsets, and maybe this even comes back to, you know, your husband who wants to give you input and wants to be a silent partner in your business. 'cause you show up, you do the work, you do the, you pay for your business expenses and you also have the income.

Like how do you help your clients? I know it's to negotiate, but manage those you know, uncomfortable conversations that they might have to have with their husbands around business money and even money in their, in their home. Right? That's a lot of what we do all the time. All the time. And I'll tell you what, I have a calm method, which is four steps to creating Flow.

And a lot of times we, we just. Fall back on that first because it is such a good, systemized, intuitive way of working. So the see is connect to yourself. Mm-hmm. What do you really want before you talk to your husband? Because a lot of women will talk to their husband to get what they want. Like, I don't know, what are you in the mood to eat?

I don't know. What do you want? And then you hear what they say, and then your brain will react yes or no. And then you'll say, nah, I'm not really in the mood for that. What else? You know, but like, you can't think with your husband like this. Your husband does not think this way. He has, you know, and that's why guys eventually, it's like, not cute anymore.

Tell me what you want. Don't wait for me to tell you what I want. Tell me what you want. So husband's. They have a very hard, and they, and they want, and they, and then I think really the husbands really wanna please their wives. Of course. Really? Do. They want you to make a decision. Let's go.

They're, yes. That is, you know, rule number one, your husband is a provider and a protector, so he wants to provide what you need and he wants to make sure that you are safe with what you're have, you know, with what you have. So you have to know what you want, and you have to be willing to sit down before the conversation to face yourself and say, I want, and this comes to the worthiness part, because a lot of people are just not feeling like they deserve what they want, so they don't even want it.

Because why should I want something I don't deserve or wish I want something I can't have, you know, that it just, it's too complicated. This is my brain can't comprehend why I even deserve to want it if it's so out of reach. So your brain will protect you by saying, don't even think about it. Don't even want it.

It's like, I don't even want it. Is a lot of things. You know, we hear this all the time. I don't even want it because it's so far off. So be willing to want it. Be willing to own it. Say it, write it, journal it, whatever. See it. I want what I really want. And once you know what you want. And a lot of times, by the way, because we're women and we are so, so like high level, a lot of times what we want is I just want peace.

I just want quiet. I just want everybody to get along. I just want this to feel smooth, like, and be honest with yourself. And like, so then you're like, I just want peace. So is it really worth fighting about this thing? You know? So is it really like, why am I getting in his face about his shoes? Like, if all I want is peace, I can just pick them up myself.

Like, really, this is what you know? And, and, and it's just like being willing to sit down with yourself. It takes less than 10 seconds to ask yourself, what do I really want? And especially in the middle of a fight or in the middle of a situation or in the middle of like overstimulated, if you just, just take a deep breath and ground yourself.

Like feel yourself throwing all the energy down into your feet and like the ground sort of like absorbing it. Whew. What do I really want? You'll get an answer. Instant. Instant. Because your body and your brain, they're all with you here. Like they want to support what you are doing. So let it, okay? So connect to yourself, step one.

And of course I go into detail about each one with my clients. Tell me, have podcasts and yeah. And I also have like, you know, practical steps of how to get each one. But, okay, so connect to yourself. A is for ask for abundance, okay? Mm-hmm. So you bring God into it. 'cause really, if you want a new couch and you expect your husband to give you the new couch, then you have a problem in the way you're living this world.

Because really God is providing everything. Mm-hmm. It is nice that we are, you know, playing a game, like living a, an illusion. We are here, you know, in this like tangible world that is actually not tangible, but it does not matter if you are falling into the belief that your husband is the one who's going to provide for you, that your husband is the one who creates this safety.

The, you know, the stability, the, all the things that you think your husband is supposed to create. You are. Off the mark, yes, God is at the core of everything we do and that's why, you know, my niche is God centered women. Because if somebody does not believe in God and she doesn't understand what I'm talking about, then she obviously doesn't get to work with me.

I am very, very clear that God is the core. He is the one that creates stability and abundance. He is the one who's going to get you the couch. And if your husband says no to the couch, guess what? If God wants you to have the couch anyway, the neighbor's going to be giving away a couch and she's going to get her sons to walk it over to your house because your husband doesn't wanna have anything to do with it.

It's gonna show up. It'll happen, right? Because God decides. So our will. Is obviously based on God's will 'cause I want to do what God wants to do, but for me to serve God in the best way, I first need to know what I want. Because if I come to God and I take away the prerequisite of the sea and I just come, you know, we've all been told to pray, I just come to God and I say, I don't know what you want from me.

I'm like so stuck. I'm sitting here, my husband's screaming at me, I blah, blah. Right? The energy isn't there. I am not available to get an answer. I am just like puking at God instead of creating a relationship. God wants us to have a dialogue. It's not one way. It is the ability to listen, the ability to hear the answer.

So we said, C is connect to yourself. A is ask for abundance and then, and keep asking, right? If he, if he says no to the couch, like you just keep asking, asking, ask like, God, I know that you run the world. I know that you can get me the couch. My husband said no, so I'm gonna keep asking.

Right. And sometimes your husband will like pass a store. One day it'll be on sale and he'll be like, oh, let's just, like, that could also happen two months later. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what you're saying, like, keep asking, but like the calm method is so exact. It is. It's a little mind blowing. Okay. So like, when you're trying this like be really, really sure that this is what you want.

It's just like been so cool to watch people sending me stories about how the calm method worked instantly. Like, or like that day or, you know, you don't even know all the things I use it for. Like that it very, very, it's like manifestation a little bit. So it's sort of, but really we could get into that.

Okay. Well we'll talk to that and like the next time, next time we're on a podcast we'll talk about manifestation. But it's really bringing God in and believing it's possible and asking. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So it's aligning yourself to God and not. You know, a lot of what's happening when our life is choppy, you know, like it feels hard.

It's like, ugh, and then I also have this, and I also have this, and then my daughter just, you know, fell and then this happened, and that, like, everything feels choppy. You're, you get to your end of the day and you're like, what did I even do today? And it all just feels like a bunch of blocks that are falling on top of each other that is not flow.

Okay. That does not count, and we create flow by bringing God into it and aligning ourselves to him. Mm-hmm. In order to do that, you have to be really attentive, because when we talk about your own will in step one, that comes from God too. You know? Yes. God gives you your will to help you know what you're supposed to focus on so that you're not, you know, fiddling or fiddling, whatever, you know.

Wasting your time on doing things that you're not supposed to be doing. Exactly. So we have connect to God connect to yourself, ask for abundance, listen for the answer. That's the third step. We have all been taught to ask. We have not been taught to listen. Ooh. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. And there's a lot of what I do with my clients.

We get really, really practical about how you listen, what helps you because we're unique and what helps me listen is not the same thing that helps you listen. So we get really, really deep into that. How do you, how do you access the answers within, how do you allow yourself to hear things that are not what you expected?

You know, training your brain to work with you and. Creating the capacity and all of that good stuff that we're talking about today. Like the expansion, all that, it comes from actual skills. And by the way, in the olden days, they had schools for profits. Yes. They actually taught people how to listen.

Mm-hmm. And so it's not something that's like lost. Yes, prophecy is lost, but the skills and the tools are not lost. They're just not used because, you know, we got so in our brain and in our way. But, and, and even when I talked about like, you know, not going onto social media before 10 o'clock, it's like also we're, we distract ourselves and it's really hard to listen.

When you are distracting yourself and sometimes listening is gonna be uncomfortable, first of all. 'cause we're just not used to doing it. Right. And that's why I clapped when you said like, no social media until 10:00 AM because that is, is such a gift to yourself. Yes. Yeah. It is such a gift. It is such, it's I think the first time I ever journaled, like for real, and I kept, I wrote, you know, book one zero to a hundred, you know, and that's when I hired you, it was like, okay, now I have a goal and my goal is to get to, you know, a hundred KII am making this the journal that takes me there.

And now I'm in book 17. Okay. Like, I did not stop journaling since. Good for you. I'm very, I'm very grateful to you that you're like part of my first jour first book. And also I obviously made it, you know, like you did. Thank you. God. Great. Thank God. Yeah. But it's really extremely exciting. To realize that you're not some balloon without, you know, being held down.

That you aren't just floating through this world. Like you have a lot more control than you think, but the control isn't controlling things, it's controlling your ability to tap in. Mm-hmm. Right. So sort of getting rid of the noise, allowing yourself to listen, being willing to hear, you know, learning your body language of your own, like getting to know the differences between my stomach hurts because something's actually wrong versus my stomach hurts because something is really not right.

Yeah. Two different things, a hundred percent. So getting to know yourself. So listen for the answer also is realizing that God speaks to us through reality. And so instead of fighting reality and saying, this is not supposed to be this way, saying, okay, this is God's will. Mm-hmm. And therefore it must be an answer to something.

So sometimes we don't understand the answer. Maybe the answer came before the question. You know, sometimes we're not really sure. Like, I want to believe that I'm handling the terror attack better than if I wasn't in this higher level of consciousness. Because I am, you know, in acceptance. I'm not fighting reality.

I'm grateful to God for, you know, my brother being alive. There's a lot of things I can be grateful for. Gratitude is a huge thing, you know, that helps you listen. Yeah, I don't know. I can't give you a specific answer of why this was an answer to my prayers or to anybody's prayers in any way. 'cause obviously, like, you know, it is in this elusive world, we would all prefer, we would all prefer it would, it wouldn't be this way.

But we don't, we don't understand exactly. But then also I see, I already see things that are coming out that are good. You know, first of all, the fact that she was constantly working to grow, like to spread her light and she was obsessed with it. She's like, I'm gonna go viral. And she went viral, you know?

Oh. And so like, can you have done it any other way? I, I, I don't know of anything. I'm not, God, thank God I am very happy. I'm not him, but like, just be Robinson. It's good. Yeah. It's, it's good. I, I'm good with that. I'm good where I am, but like there are things I can see that were good. Mm, okay. But we're not talking big, huge things now.

But like let's say you wanted the couch and you connected to yourself and you go, okay, why do I want the couch? I want the couch. I'm going to do a lot of wonderful things with them. I'm gonna have guests. I'm going to have my house look like an order, you know, my kids are going to feel at home, in the house, whatever.

All the good stuff. And then I ask God and I bring him into, I'm like, God, you are the only one who can bring me the couch. There is no one else who has control over if there is a new couch or not. But you and I can ask and I could talk speaking with my husband and I could do whatever I need to do. But like bottom line.

You are the only source. That's it. And when you get into that mindset and now you go into the listen for the answer, this is when you start taking action. So you go to your husband and say, I really want a new couch. This is the reason why I want the couch. It'll make my house so nice and my kids will feel at home.

We'll have where to sit and we'll be able to blah, blah, blah and have guests and so on and so forth. And then you listen and your husband is going to either say like, whatcha doing? You're trying to waste my money? No way. We have a couch. It's good enough and blah, blah, blah. Or he's gonna say, oh, okay.

Let's see how we can make that happen. And you're like really great. Thanks. It might be that you didn't even ask your husband, suddenly somebody is giving away a couch. It happened to me with a, with, what was it? I think it was a fridge. Our fridge broke and I was like, we gotta get a new fridge now.

Like buying a new fridge would've taken two days to get here and we needed one erev Pesach. Oh my gosh. So I was like, what? And I used the calm and suddenly the neighbor from next door got a new fridge, Uhhuh got a new fridge, and they sent my husband an e a WhatsApp, do you want this fridge before we throw it out?

And my husband's like, yes. And anyway, it was very cool. But these things don't surprise me anymore because when you're doing it, you start to live with God in everything you do. And that's something that's contagious. Like all of my clients, they come to me to like, get that. You know, like, ah, I want that.

So wait, so I'm, I'm gonna ask you a question. Then we have to hear the m 'cause I'm on, on like, you know. Pins and needles waiting. But I mean, the calm method, obviously the word is calm. Through your implementation and execution of your method, have you become a more calm person? Like do you, I, you know, it's a trick question.

If you don't say yes, then I'm, you know, I'm shooting bullets through your like methodology. No, but like I think that you just like that pause, but you know what to do. One of the biggest issues. Yeah. But you're also coming to your husband after you, like for that fridge or that couch or whatever. You're like, what do I really want?

Even if it's a fridge, you're like. Okay, I wanna have it this many leaders, and I want it two doors side by side. I want the freezer at the bottom. Like even like, you've calmed yourself down. Rather than we need to go right now, we gotta go to the store, we gotta get something. And like, you're in that panic, frenetic mode, right?

But you've stopped yourself. Of course. Like there, there's such brilliance in that, of course. Like to connect yourself, of course. Because now I have an opportunity, I need a fridge. What kind of fridge would I really love? And he might say, but we don't have a budget. We just have to get the standard 500 liter one.

We, we can't do all the fancy things, no ice maker. But that is one thing we don't have and I really wish we did. Not in Israel in the summer. Yeah. But you know what's amazing? Thank, first of all, thank you. Because I do believe that it was a download, like the calm method when I created it felt like it came to me instead of me looking for it.

I did all the work. Of course, I had to like pages and pages of just throwing words and like my methodology and like reverse engineering how I got to where I am. And I, you know, it came from wanting to explain to people how you get to this place of, you know, my business is functional and you know, I'm living a family, you know, a, a family life and I'm balancing like, it.

I I really wanted to give some, you know, the people a free resource that they could use. But then once it started going into the world and I realized as I'm teaching it, I'm like, oh, you could use it in the moment. You could use it for future stuff. You could use it for backwards stuff, like to resolve situations.

I like started blowing my mind. You could use it for like. 10 year goals. You could use it for a fight. You could like, it's so incredibly powerful and it's good for anyone. Like I could teach it to the kids and they can do it. I could teach it to the guys, my husband's students we had here at shabbaton and I taught them and they were like, wow, this is so intuitive.

You know? Mm-hmm. So like it's really a gift. It's brilliant. I'm not taking all the credit, but I am very, very grateful that it came through me.

And yes, it does make you calmer because as you said, it forces you to pause, it makes you bring God into it. It allows you to live through a new lens. Mm-hmm. And at this point, and this is what brings the M into it, the M is master a higher level of consciousness. So what the first three steps did is they took you from low consciousness to high consciousness.

When you were stressed out, you were angry, you were, you know, falling apart. Everything was overwhelming. You didn't know what to do next, you know what to do next. Now step one, connect yourself. Just write down what do you want. You know, go for a walk. Do the thing that's going to help you figure out what you want, and then ask Hashem, ask God, bring him into it.

Like so, you know, we could see how you're getting higher and higher in the consciousness levels, and then you're listening. So you are actually taking action. You're putting it into reality. We're not living up in a, you know, some cloud, in some Lala land being like, oh, me and God we're besties. Like, no, bottom line tachlis.

What are you gonna do with this thing? So it's very actionable. It's very practical. Then with the answers you get, you know exactly what God wants. Like my husband either, either says yes or no. And if the no might mean not now, it there is never no. Right. So not now. Maybe not with women and their husbands.

There's very rarely a no. Yeah, exactly. Are you sure that M isn't manipulation? So at this point, you're such a high level of consciousness. You're living in a different realm. Like we're living in the same world, but you are not, you know, anywhere near where you were and you're definitely calmer. But what happens is that, and this is the biggest danger and why you need an m, is when you are in that high and it works like, wow.

I said I need a couch. And then I ask God, and then, you know, my neighbor knocked on the door and said she's giving away a couch. Oh my gosh, this is amazing. It's, it's working. Right. What happens is you go next. What else do I want? Mm-hmm. What else am I going to do this to? Like, and then you get so into it.

This is what happens with a lot of people who get into like the personal development world. And they're like in a, in a what's it called? Like a wheel? A hamster wheel. Ham. Hamster wheel. Yeah. The hamster wheel of personal development. I'm like, oh my gosh, I could be that much better. Oh my gosh, my life could be that much better.

I could be a better mom, I could be a better wife. I could, I could be perfect. And then you get into this frenzy of like, you're just not calm, like as, as good as this was until this point. If you don't master the higher level of consciousness, if you don't take a minute to reverse think, to give celebration, to hold space for what just happened.

If you don't learn to like wrap it up and break it down and see what was awesome about this, like really drink it up. You're gonna just be like B, B, B, b, boop, boop next, and you're gonna lose out on all the great, great effects of being on a high level of consciousness, right? Because well, what, what I, well what I hear is like, when you get onto that frenetic pace, what happens is, is you think that you're connecting to God, but you're really not.

Because then it's, it's almost like greed, right? There's like that, the greed cycle rather than gratitude. And you mentioned gratitude, but now like, oh, it works. Lemme do this, lemme do this, lemme do this. And then it's it. And it comes from scarcity. Like almost like I have to do it all right now. Right. And also, right, like if it works on the couch, I want the fridge.

If it works the fridge, I want the car. And we, and then it, then it, then it's greed and god's not in the picture. Rather than being that, you know, trusting and asking and listening, then you can almost end up being like stomping your feet like a, you know, a temper tantrum me 2-year-old, like, why isn't working?

What's happening? Why isn't it coming fast enough? Right, exactly. Yeah. And a lot of, a lot of times we see this in our work all the time and in the people we meet is, you know, people get really into this growth mentality and they're doing the thing, but then they're experiencing highs and lows, ups and downs.

Mm-hmm. I'm like, I'm either up here connected to God amazing, or I'm down here in the mud, like, you know, blaming people and shaming them and being annoyed and thinking that, you know, life isn't working. And then I work myself up to, you know, get back up here. And I work so hard to get there and like, so really it feels hard.

That's not how it's supposed to feel. You know, it's not meant to be hard, it's meant to flow. And so if you're not in flow, something is off. Okay. And that's just a wake up call. It's like, oh, I got outta flow. Let me go back to the beginning, what, you know, connect to myself. What do I really want? And exactly.

And I love that you said that wake up call when your phone rings with an alarm to wake you up, or your alarm clock if you have one. You don't start screaming at the alarm clock. Stop it. You're bothering me. Whatcha doing? No. You're like, oh, thank you. Snooze, snooze. Five more minutes of sleep, please. For the love of God.

Just five more minutes. Yeah. So like, when you're not feeling flow, don't get upset. Don't go into like a meta emotions, like, I'm angry that I'm angry, or I'm, you know, I can't stand it, that I'm so sad or whatever. It's like, no. Pause and be like, oh, this is a wake up call. Thank you, God. You know? Mm-hmm. I'm going to figure out what I want now.

Like, but, but one thing I didn't hear, and maybe this is comes under the sea, but like, let's say you are sad about something, right? You've just been through, you know, losing your, your sister-in-law and a terrorist attack. But is part of the, see like, what do I want Is that if you ask yourself, is that like, sometimes it's acceptance, right?

It is. Like, because that, that wasn't part of the, the method, right? So that's, it's interesting what I want get into a frenetic pace. It's like, what do I want? I wanna go back to sleep for an hour or two. But sometimes we have to accept, we gotta get our kids out to out the door, right? Yeah. But, but have you ever had this moment where you're like, oh, I wanna go to sleep, but I can't go to sleep right now, but what if I can take a nap?

Or what if I can go to sleep earlier? Or what if I can honor that need? You know, so suddenly I'm not in resistance to my body. I'm not in like, you know, conflict. I'm not head to head with my needs. I am listening to them being like, oh, okay, what do we need to do about this? You know, how do we fix this?

What do I, how do I allow myself, how do I honor this need without making it bad? You know, it's not bad that I'm exhausted. It just is the reality. It is. I'm, I'm exhausted. What am I gonna do? That's what it's, so now what can I do? Can I go for a walk? Can I sit at the, you know, can, yesterday we were at a, at a very long day activity, tour, whatever. Yeah, tour. And like halfway through I'm like, oh my gosh. We've been sitting on buses and sitting to listen and sitting to everything. Like we're barely moving. And also my back is hurting. So I laid down on the grass while the speaker was speaking, like, we're finally on grass.

We're finally like, you know, in nature. I just laid down on my stomach like flat and I gave myself permission to just give my body a break. Mm. So can I go to sleep right now? No. Can I, like, you know, do all the other things I wish I could do in the middle of a trip? No, but at least I honored that need.

So, you know, what do I want? What do I really want? I really want to. You know, sleep. I really want to feel energized. Oh, wait, maybe I can get a smoothie. Maybe I could eat a date with nuts. Maybe I can, you know, a banana with peanut butter. Like, those are my go-to things. Sounds good to me. I love it. Yeah.

Like go-to for energy, like honor the need for energy. Honor your need for space. Honor your need for pause. It's okay. Yeah. And then, oh, I'm going into a meeting. Knowing that I'm going to take a nap right after is very different than I'm going into a meeting because I have to exhausted, or I'm so exhausted, I just need a break.

Yeah. It's like you're going into the meeting anyway. And now the question is, is it out of necessity, out of like, I have to, and I hate my business, that it forces me to be on call for all these things when I'm tired and whatever, or, okay. I love my business. I could go into this call, give it my all. Then know and trust that I'm going to follow through with what I promised myself, which was going to, now I want you to like all of these, you know, these little conversations you're having in your head right now, back to like the theme of expansion.

You're expanding yourself as, as a person. I'm gonna, I don't wanna say like the higher level of conscious, but, but there's something like, you're, you, it's almost like you're, you're adulting yourself more, like you're, you're expanding your ability to like, 'cause we think about kids with the temper tantrums and everything is, I want and I need a whatever, but like even just connecting with yourself and getting in touch with yourself, that's expansion, right?

Yes, yes. I would say, and you're like progressing on the, on the, I don't know, what is it, like a, a pen, not a pendulum, but whatever. Like the, the line of going from like zero child, you know, they just like cry when they wanna be nurse, they cry when they wanna go to sleep, they cry, whatever, to like, like just getting more in tune with themselves as an emotional, emotional adult.

Your emotional intelligence exp is expanding and your, your upper intelligence is, is expanding, right. So, yeah. 'cause you're asking yourself like, they're not even like deep, meaningful questions, but they're just like, good questions. Right. And you know what, somebody just hired me to help them adult and you know, she already has three kids and she feels like adulting is hard and she doesn't like doing all the things that you're supposed to do and whatever.

And by the way, I totally honor that. I love that she's so self-aware that she's like, I hate it and I have to do it. Help me figure it out. And the answer is, you don't have to do. You get to do it. You know, like change that, like adulting feels like there's a very annoyed mother or father sitting there like whipping you and saying, just do it because that's what you're supposed to do.

It's what we do. It just needs to get done. And it's like, no, it doesn't. Adulting is I get to do that. I, I get to create my reality. I want yummy food. I'm going to make the thing that makes me the most happy, right? Or I want the food to be made. It doesn't have to be me. I will make decisions from my very higher self that it will serve me now and bring me to where I wanna be, right?

So like we can find solutions to help you feel really good in your own life, in your own body, in your own existence, that don't have to come with like a whip or a talk yourself into it. You know? It never works. It never works to like push yourself into something. And, and I'm just gonna add one thing, like I get to do it.

Like that doesn't always work for everything. Right? Like cleaning up the kitchen at the end of the day, doing the laundry, whatever it is. Like I get to do it. I'm so blessed. I have so many kids, I have such a busy household, right. I get to do it. And we also don't have to love everything that we do. I've talked about that in, in money in your business, maybe you love coaching your clients, but you hate doing your books and you can't yet afford to bring somebody in.

You're like, okay, I don't have to love doing my books. Right? But if when you bring that resistance and that like ante, you know, like that feeling, you're like, okay, this is just something I'm gonna do and don't have to love it. Right. And if you see yourself every single night being exhausted doing the thing you hate, then it is, you know, it very well may be time to, I get to have a cleaning lady come in for half an hour a night or for an hour a night and just close the kitchen.

You know? It's like, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Amazing. It's part of the expansion. Sometimes, you know, we're like martyrs because we're, we think that's how you're supposed to do things. Like, I think it has to be hard. Therefore I make it hard. Like, what if it doesn't have to be hard? What if it could just be done?

Well, sometimes that's what it is. The dishes in the sink, it can just be done. Or maybe get yourself a dishwasher. One thing that I would love to do, this is where my, I have to, I'm gonna use your calm method, right? I would love to have a personal, like cook someone to come and cook meals. Now I have my daughter here. She's enjoying the kitchen. I just don't like cooking anymore. Okay. I did it when my kid, I did it when my kids were little. Mm-hmm. Because like, I had to, they needed to eat. I'm not a gourmet cook. You know, we had scrambled eggs, we had oatmeal, we had soup, we had like a few, you know, basic things.

I tried with the kids. My kids were never into like the kind of things, but now it's just, most of the time when my daughter's not living here, it's just me and my husband. So I'm just. Someone can come and cook and make me healthy meals and put them in my fridge. Yes. And you can now, we talked about it, you're gonna go use the calm method and get back to me.

I'm like, sweetheart, I was thinking that, you know, this is, this would be really great and I would really love it and hear my reasons, and I'll have to come back for another episode and tell you what happened. Yes. Well when you say sweetheart, first bring it to Hashem. Okay. Thank you. Thank you sweetheart.

Up there. Yes. No, because, because really it's like you skipped a step subconsciously. Right? Right. You skipped a And it's so subconscious. We really are so trained that we are in control. You're right. Thank you. There is something Thank you. In the training. Wow. It like blows my mind. And I'm sorry, like I'm picking on you, but No, it's great.

Thank you everybody to know Debbie is amazing, but you did it so naturally it is like, okay, I know what I want. Well, you skipped over a Exactly. You skipped it. Yeah. Yeah. So now you're gonna go back, you're gonna actually write a prayer. 'cause I'm gonna force you to, and then just kidding. You get to no, but what's interesting is that when we dive in, like when we pray, like we're so used to, but we, when we ask for things and I put the things in.

Yeah. But something like that, you'd feel like, oh, that's too little, that's too stupid. That's too whatever. Right? But what you're, what you're pointing out is that we get into those rote habits like, can this one please find their mate? Can this one please, you know, get healthy? Can this one like, but like something like that, oh, can you help me figure out the right words to say to my husband?

I really thinking that this would like, yeah. Yes, yes. That's, that's our father. Just like you would go to your father, you know, in real life and say, daddy, can you, can you help me? Can you teach me to drive? Can I borrow the car? Right. Totally. Right. We just go to our father in heaven and we ask. You're right.

Totally. And then also, I have a structure that I teach for how to write a prayer so that you don't have to, you're not working hard. Everything's very simple. I teach, I give all the, you know, the frameworks and the structures. Even in these things, you can learn how to do it easy. You know? Like, let it be easy.

Why are we making things so hard? You're right. I love it. Thank you. Okay. Debbie, how can people work with you and give you money? Oh, yeah, I receive, I'm asking, yes so we know who I work with. I work with women who have businesses making a hundred thousand dollars or more helping 'em if they wanna scale, if they wanna have a group program.

You can find me all over social media after 10 in the morning, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and I have a free resource on my website, which is rewiring for wealth, debbie sasson.com/mindset. And it helps you rewire your mindset and your brain to be able to receive more and find out where your money blocks are.

I love it. And if you guys are looking for me, I am@connectedforreal.com, and you can have my freebie connected For real.com/guide, I'll give you the guide to unravel overwhelm. Oh my gosh. Everybody needs that one. Yes. Yes. It's a good guide., thank you Debbie. You're amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

It's been too long since we've connected for real.

 And that's it! Thank you for listening to the very end. I would love if you can leave a review and subscribe to the podcast. Those are things that tell the algorithm this is a good podcast and make sure to suggest it to others. Wouldn't it be amazing if more people became more connected for real? And now take a moment and think of someone who might benefit from this episode.

Can you share it with them? I am Robinson Bat chen Grossman from connectedforreal. com. Thank you so much for listening and don't forget you can be connected for real.