Join us in this thought-provoking episode as we delve into the journey of moving from a people pleaser to an empowered individual within toxic relationships. Discover why over 60% of people experience toxic dynamics and learn practical strategies to reclaim your self-worth.

Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, we'll explore how setting boundaries is not about being selfish, but about honoring your mental and emotional health. We'll discuss the importance of understanding the underlying structures of relationships and offer actionable tips for aligning your life with your core values.

Whether you're struggling with unsupportive friends or navigating the challenges of a new business venture, this episode is packed with wisdom to help you thrive.

Empowerment isn't a destination; it's a journey. Tune in and take the first step today!

Hey folks, it's great to see you here. I'm ready to dive deep into this topic. You know, we have some ground to cover here. We're talking about something super important today. And that's about shifting from being a people pleaser, becoming empowered within toxic relationships. So let's just cut to the chase, okay?

There's something we've all been doing, and it's about high time that we face this head-on on toxic relationships can drain the life out of you. It's typical that this happens to people.

So, it's really crucial that we tackle this now, together. Did you know that more than 60% of people find themselves in toxic relationships at some points in their lives? It's pretty right?

Have you ever wondered why we sometimes feel trapped in these kinds of dynamics?

So I hope you're ready to shift from being a people pleaser into being empowered.

Okay, here's the deal. We are talking about those moments where you feel trapped in toxic dynamics. Always trying to please everyone but yourself, and it's like you're constantly walking on eggshells, right? Afraid to upset anyone, but in this process, you lose sight of who you really are. So I'll be honest with you. I've been dealing with a lack of support from family and friends ever since I started my business, and it's pretty rough, but you know, we've all been there, right? And when I was younger, I used to say yes to a lot of things, which I didn't really want to. You know, just to keep the peace. And it did take a toll on my mental health big time.

Here's the kicker: I discovered by pleasing everyone else, I was losing myself, right?

So, here's a thought: what if we swoop out just 30 minutes of worrying about others' opinions for some self-reflection or a hobby you love? Small change, sure, but it's those tiny tweaks that start the real transformation.

Start by taking a little time each day to do something that makes you happy, without any guilt. Imagine your mind is like a garden, Thoughts are seeds that can bloom into something beautiful. Or, they can overrun the place, like weeds. So, it's all about tending to the right ones. When you start prioritizing your needs, you are planting seeds of self-respect and self-worth. And trust me, those seeds grow into strong, beautiful flowers.

Look, I'm not saying all relationships are toxic. But you've got to admit, some dynamics are designed to drain you, instead of uplifting you. When you're stuck in a toxic relationship, it's easy to think that you are the problem. But oftentimes, it's the dynamics at play that just need a shift. Boundaries aren't just a practice, they are a reflection of self-respect. This is a golden nugget, which I picked up from a mentor, and it's spot on. Setting boundaries isn't about being selfish. It's about honoring your own needs and valuing your mental and your emotional health.

Ask yourself this. Am I honoring my needs as much as I honor theirs? This self-check is crucial. It's easy to get lost in just trying to make others happy, but you need to make sure your own needs aren't being neglected. Set a simple goal. For the next week, say no to something that compromises your well-being at least once. It might feel uncomfortable at first, it might feel awkward, but this small act of self-respect can make a huge difference in how you see yourself. So take a moment to reflect. Is there one toxic dynamic I could address today to start shifting my pathway from pleaser to empowered? Think about it.

Maybe it's saying no to something that doesn't serve you, or taking time for a hobby you love. If you're ready to dive deeper into this topic, I highly recommend to read The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz. This book is mostly about the creativity, like the framework that works around creativity and the dynamics at play there.

But it can be adapted to relationships and anything. The important thing here is to be mindful of the structure of things, as opposed to the dynamics. It's really important to be aware of the structure as opposed to the content when we're talking about these things.

Oftentimes in relationships, there's always this content, right?

This person said this, or you feel this way. And it's easy to get stuck in that, but if you take a step back and use your metacognition to think about this on a higher level, like, what are the structures that are in place here?

Usually, the root problem isn't found in the content itself, but you need to take a step back and look at the structures that define these things.

So, this is something that can be applied to most things in life, and it's kind of an overarching principle that you should keep in mind and think about.

It's very important in terms of relationships and especially if you are struggling with toxic ones.

So, if you are starting your business, if you are honing your personal values, if you are trying to align your life with your core values, you will inevitably feel this kind of lack of support or this jealousy, or this sense of misunderstanding from peers around you, and this is totally normal. This is actually a sign that you are on to something good, because usually this is a projection from other people. They might fear that you are progressing in a way that kind of increases the distance from you and them.

You are probably pursuing some things in life which are not socially acceptable and which is outside of the norm of society.

And when doing that, you need to set realistic expectations in such a way that you are aware of the traps that lies ahead of you, because if you're not mindful of this stuff,

it can basically affect you in such a negative way that it causes you to stop pursuing your passion and to stop pursuing those ambitions that you have in life. And that's the main thing we want to avoid, right? Because Even if you're not using the best tactics, even if you're not progressing as quickly as you want to, the thing we want to avoid the most is those things that will make you stop completely. So it's really important to have realistic expectations and to know that these obstacles are normal and they will show up when you choose to pursue a path of purpose. One thing that I think has been really crucial in terms of my own ability to deal with these kinds of toxic relationships and,

Friends who don't understand my choices in life and who aren't supporting me in my journey is that I know that it's quite easy for me to connect with people who are doing the same thing.

So I have a network of people that are actually understanding and conscious enough to realize that these choices that I make in life are super important to my own well-being.

people don't always realize that these choices that you make in life

which might hurt other people in the short term, like you might say no to some things, and your friends might think that's really weird. Like why are you why are you saying no to this? Why are you? Always busy with this other stuff, and how come you're not attending these normal events that you did before, like, oh, something is wrong with Isak now.

Like, he's not feeling good, or he's pursuing these things, which is really weird.

So I'm worried and I'm fearful and maybe I'm jealous. There's a lot of these projections that you will have to deal with, and so realize that even though it might feel like it's your fault that these things happen, know that it's usually not that way.

If you are supported by friends and family that's want the best for you, then they will accept these choices that you make and they will trust your innate ability to make these choices and pursue the things that are most important in life. It's so rare that we see people who are pursuing their passion and who have the guts, who have the discipline, and who have the vision to say no to everything else.

Like, there's so many distractions that we have in the society, and people from your past, like before you started to pursue this journey, they will inevitably try to bring you to their level. It's really scary for people to see someone they used to be close friends with take a very different road and just increase the disconnection between you guys.

As that happens, like maybe you are growing, maybe you are working a lot with your spiritual practice, and you're working a lot with your personal development, your personal growth. You're working with your business doing the self-actualization thing. Then people will see you as a kind of an alien when you finally make progress.

It's not something which is inherently bad and something that you should let disrupt your path. So keep focused on that vision. Keep focused on those goals

and make sure you make choices that are aligned with your core values. When you do that, even if you have to say no to a lot of people, even if you have to lose friendships, even if you have to say no to family events, I'd say go for it. Life's too short to just make choices based on other people. You can't let other people choose your agenda in life. Most people they have an agenda for their relationship with you. They want to spend time with you because you are contributing to their positive energy.

You are giving them an increase in happiness in their life. And sometimes, maybe you are just helping to distract them. Maybe they are Lonely, and maybe they are reaching out to you and want to spend time with you to escape that loneliness. So, you need to look inwards when you make decisions.

You need to ask yourself first, Do I really want this? Because basically if you say yes, what you are telling to yourself and what you are telling to other people is that, Oh, I don't have anything more important going on in my life. So, I'll just say yes to whatever comes up. But if you have a very clear vision and you have a very clear goal that you are working towards, it will become obvious that your priorities are set and you are working on those things relentlessly.

And people, like healthy people, who have done personal growth and are worth keeping as friends, they will inevitably understand this. They will understand the importance of this.

I wouldn't say it's worth to just keep friendships and keep toxic relationships because, you don't want to be lonely or, it's scary to do this journey alone, you need, first of all, to be pretty strict in terms of this with your time, with your energy,

with your creativity, with your mental resources. You need to learn how to say no. So you can say yes to the things that really matters with you, because whenever you say yes to something, that means you're saying no to something else. And if that no, that thing you're saying no to is your own passion, and your own vision, which should be the most important thing in your life that you're pursuing, then what can be more important to say yes to than that? And for what reasons are you saying yes? So look inwards and realize why am I saying yes to this and no to something else. If I'm saying no to following my purpose and saying yes to attending this birthday party, because I don't want to make that person unhappy, or because I don't want to take that conflict, or whatever.

That's a fear-based decision. You're saying no to your main purpose in life, and you're saying yes to something based on fear. So, look inwards and make sure those things you are saying yes to,

Those friends and family members that you are saying yes to, you are doing it for them

From a place of love. You do it because you want to make them happy and because it makes you happy. There's like a win-win situation there. Make sure that you are clear about your motivations for saying yes or saying no. And this ultimately comes down to your values in life, right? How do you know what your motivations are if you're not clear about your values?

You need to do that work. You need to look inwards. You need to find out what you are passionate about in life and what you want to say yes to otherwise, you'll just be like a ship that travels by the wind to any destination. You don't know what your destination is. You don't know where you're headed, so you're just flowing aimlessly to wherever the wind takes you, and that's a recipe for disaster.

Keep this in mind. I'm doing this bit of a rant now because,

I've been experiencing this a lot. I've had to. Say no to a lot of friendships. I had to say no so many times every week. I have to say no many, many times. And I've had to learn how to do that, and I've had to practice it a lot because it was really difficult for me in the beginning.

I wanted to say yes because of FOMO, fear of missing out. I wanted to say yes because I was afraid of conflict. I didn't want any conflict. And I didn't want to be alone. I just wanted to fit in.

But that all changes when you have a clear vision. And you have self-worth and self-respect, and you know that what you're doing in life is the most important thing you should be doing. So it becomes really easy to say no, and you don't have to dread that, you don't have to feel bad about that. You just tell the truth.

There's some people in my life that I've experienced which cannot handle the truth. I just tell them, you know, it would be nice to hang out, but actually, I have all this creative energy and I want to work on this project right now.

And some people they don't understand that. They're saying like what are you doing? Like what what's so important? You should prioritize meeting your family, or you should prioritize meeting your friend

It's like they have an agenda and they are trying to influence you in a way that serves them sometimes it's just done in an Unconscious way like they don't know exactly why they are doing it but usually there's an agenda like there's talking from their ego, because if you meet people who's done a lot of spiritual work, who's done a lot of spiritual practice and, who's done a lot of shadow work and growth.

That person will never tell another human being like, Yeah, you should be doing this. Okay. You should be prioritizing this.

I know some coaches haven't really understood this, and it's not something that they practice, but basically, you want to help the person you are coaching to do what's best for that person, right?

To make choices that align with their core values and make choices that will ultimately make them happy, and not regret their decisions in life.

So make sure you're not doing this unconsciously and just saying yes to everything, and five years or ten years in the future, you will have all of these regrets and you will have all this irritation, and you will become jealous, and you will build resentment if you do this.

Identifying and addressing just one key area can set the ball rolling for deeper, more meaningful changes. Consider this: what would one significant change in how you set boundaries do for your sense of self-worth?

By reinforcing your boundaries, you're telling yourself and others that your well-being matters, and that's pretty powerful. Remember, it's all about blending persistence with the willingness to adapt. So by shifting dynamics requires both steady effort and a flexible mindset. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. It's a marathon, not a sprint, and keep your eyes on your core goals. Empowerment isn't a destination, it's a journey.

It might sound cliche, right, and kind of cheesy, but you need to stay open to refining your approach along the way. Because every step you take in respecting yourself and setting those boundaries is a step towards a healthier, happier you. You've got this. Start today with one small step towards setting healthier boundaries. ​