#11 "Navigating Blended Families: A Candid Conversation on Parenting After Divorce" with Kim Elder

#BlendedFamily #ParentingAfterDivorce #StepParenting #DivorceTrauma #CoParentingJourney #FamilySupport #TeenMindRedefined #GracefulParenting

• Kim's Journey to Blended Family Life:
  • Kim shares her personal journey, starting with her first marriage, divorce, and the challenges of being a single mother to her son.
  • Meeting her second husband, navigating a blended family with his two teenagers, and the complexities of bringing together children ranging from 5 to 18 years old.
• The Importance of Extending Grace:
  • Kim emphasizes the significance of extending grace to oneself, partners, and ex-partners in blended family dynamics.
  • Acknowledges the evolving nature of parenting and the commitment to supporting each other for the well-being of the children involved.
• Dealing with Divorce Trauma:
  • Sharing her experience of processing the trauma of her first marriage's end due to infidelity.
  • Emphasizing the importance of separating personal emotions from the child's experience, focusing on providing a stable environment for her son.
• Step-Parenting Challenges:
  • Discussing the challenges of step-parenting and the misconception of trying to replace a child's biological parent.
  • Highlighting the unique bond of love that can exist in step-parenting while respecting the child's relationship with their biological parents.
• Putting Yourself in the Child's Shoes:
  • Kim stresses the importance of empathizing with the child's perspective, acknowledging their feelings, and not trying to erase their hopes of their parents reuniting.
  • Sharing a personal experience of guiding her stepdaughter through the realization that she is not a replacement for her biological mother.
• Understanding Kids Acting Out:
  • Exploring the concept that children may act out more with the parent they feel safest with, as a way of expressing their emotions freely.
  • Highlighting the need for parents to provide a secure space where children can express themselves without fear of rejection.

Understanding Behavioral Patterns:

• Kim Elder emphasizes the difficulty of breaking learned behaviors and patterns in older kids.

Creating a Safe Space for Expression:

• The hosts discuss the importance of recognizing when kids express themselves and the significance of providing a safe environment for them to do so.

Dealing with Loyalty Issues:

• Cheryl reflects on the impact of divorce on her relationship with her son, noting the intense loyalty he felt towards his dad. The hosts explore the challenges of managing different parenting styles post-divorce.

Regrets About Delaying Therapy:

• Cheryl expresses regret about not seeking therapy for her kids earlier in the divorce process. Kim shares her perspective on the timing of therapy and the importance of giving children the option to seek it when needed.

Adjusting Parenting Styles in Blended Families:

• Kim talks about adapting her parenting style when step-parenting and navigating the dynamics with her ex-husband's new partner. The hosts emphasize the importance of being flexible and choosing battles wisely.

Navigating Disciplinary Roles:

• Cheryl and Kim discuss the challenges of refraining from disciplining stepchildren and the significance of maintaining a united front. They highlight the need to communicate effectively with partners about parenting decisions.

I am so grateful for you taking your time to listen and I would love your input, feedback , suggestions for topics. We are in this together.

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Editing credit Gabbi Greco