Navigating the Emotional Journey of Post-Secondary Planning with Howard Freedman

In this enlightening episode of Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's World, we dive deep into the emotional and financial journey of post-secondary planning with expert Howard Freedman. With over two decades of experience as a financial aid consultant, Howard shares invaluable insights on how parents can support their teens in exploring various paths after high school—whether it be college, gap years, trades, or entrepreneurship.

Join us as we discuss the importance of having "skin in the game," the role of financial literacy, and how to foster open communication between parents and teens. Howard emphasizes the significance of recognizing each child's unique journey and the need for parents to step back and allow their teens to advocate for themselves.

This episode is packed with practical advice, creative resources, and heartfelt stories that will empower you to guide your teen through this pivotal stage of life.

Parenting Teens Advice Redefined Podcast Guest Episode - Howard Freedman and Cheryl Pankhurst -

Attendees

Cheryl Pankhurst, HOWARD R. Freedman

Cheryl Pankhurst: welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for today's world. Thank you for being on the other end of this today.

Cheryl Pankhurst: I am not always grateful that you spend your time with me, but I'm always so impressed when parents or educators or just another caring adult in the teen's life continue to seek out ways to help and support our kids. So, thank you for being here. Today, we are going beyond the emotional and financial journey of post-secondary planning.  Today I have the privilege of being joined by Howard Breedman, a financial aid consultant with over two decades of experience helping families navigate the complexities of paying for college. As the founder of financial aid consulting and former leader of Boston public schools access program, Howard has guided thousands of students towards affordable higher education opportunities.

Cheryl Pankhurst: He's also the author of Making College Happen, a must-read for parents planning their teen's future. Howard brings a wealth of knowledge on financial aid, scholarships, and post-secondary planning. Welcome, Howard Freriedman.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Thank you so much.

HOWARD R. Freedman: It's so exciting to be on this show and I hope to share with your audience many of the things that will help them through this sometimes scary journey to a college education.

Cheryl Pankhurst: So let's let our listeners get to know you first, Howard. …

Cheryl Pankhurst: what is your journey and what are you doing here and what is the mission?

HOWARD R. Freedman: My journey really started out of college and…

HOWARD R. Freedman: during that journey I had the privilege of performing many different jobs. I was an industrial engineer. I was a financial manager for couple of Fortune 500 companies. I was a software consultant. I was basically somebody that was always in the business of helping people, providing services. And as time rolled on, I took a look and I said, I'm doing all these things. I'm working for companies and organizations, but I think I've reached the pinnacle of what I could do.

HOWARD R. Freedman: And I decided, let me put all these things together, take those the customer service skills, the people's skills, the financial skills, the skills of understanding people, managing people through highs and lows. And I said, let me put it all together because my mission now in life is to help our next generation so they can be successful and they can make the right decisions unemotionally and…

HOWARD R. Freedman: without added pressures that they can avoid through effective planning and communication.

Cheryl Pankhurst: …

Cheryl Pankhurst: I mean, there's nothing less credible than somebody who can get out of a system and still pull all the positive things out of a system and put it into a program. I can totally appreciate that. And so today we're diving into some real conversations behind college planning because it's not just about filling out the forms. It's about dreams. It's about fears. It's about tough choices. And it's defining what success really looks like for your kid. And I want to acknowledge that, planning for postsecary, it isn't just numbers. It's an emotional journey.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And it's for both parents and teens to take that journey together. And so I want to start off with when we talk about postsecary planning, Howard, we need to recognize I know that every path is unique. there's college, there's gap year, there's work, there's entrepreneurship, there's trades, all of that. So how can parents support explor stop? How can parents support exploration without pressuring the onesizefits-all?

Cheryl Pankhurst: What are the different opportunities that kids can look at besides high school, graduate, off you go to college?

00:05:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: I think the first thing starts with setting a goal.

HOWARD R. Freedman: And the goal should be what are you interested in? What are the things you like? Are there any careers or opportunities that you want to explore? what do you think what are your strengths in high school or whatever and work on those because beyond any discussion you have to have a goal and then if you have that goal you have to find ways of communicating it. in terms of communication in my book and this is very very important. I need parents and families to get over the fear of going through The public relations about paying for college and these huge expenses and I can't afford it. That shouldn't be the issue.

HOWARD R. Freedman: The issue is to establish a dialogue to ask the child what they are interested in and what they would like to do. Being a parent is very dangerous trying to lecture your child about you must do this, you must do that, we don't have enough money doo that's just going to add further fear into this process.  So, I really think as early as a student's freshman year, they should start doing their diligence, and by that I mean, knowing what it's going to take to get into college, boosting your grades, looking at, all the courses to build your resume, build your worth because that's going to increase the value of your choices.

HOWARD R. Freedman: in terms of that question there's a lot of choices but I think it's a student's responsibility to decide what they want to do. It's a parents responsibility to talk about finances. I start the book making an acronym out of yes and I made into the acronym you expect success. So it's setting a positive groundwork for saying yes you can do it. what about seems pretty negative. No, it's stands for creating new opportunities. So it's really yes and no.

HOWARD R. Freedman: And I think really it's a matter of having a casual conversation with the student. It doesn't have to be, them against your parents. It should be just formal conversation. hey, what Do you like that? What do you think? You watch TV.

HOWARD R. Freedman: You watch something. That's really where it starts. And then from there once you get a goal and what you want to do then you have to find ways of getting there.

Cheryl Pankhurst: I love…

Cheryl Pankhurst: how you said that and the new opportunities reminds me of having the conversation where instead of you can't do this and you can't do that and you can't do this and turning it around to how can I that opens the mind up to look for those new opportunities.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Yeah. Yeah.

Cheryl Pankhurst: I love That's very cool. And in the process of planning, I know I worked in high school for 28 years and part of it was guidance and I found myself steering the conversation and when parents got to I want them to have everything I didn't have. I couldn't go here. I couldn't be an engineer. I couldn't be a doctor. So, this is where they're going.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And that is a very enlightening conversation to shift that perspective.

Cheryl Pankhurst: So parents, if that's what you're leaning towards, let's rethink that decision. But let's talk about the planning, the goal phase. So who should be part of this decision- making? Who should be part of the goal? it's not just I think mom at the kitchen table with kid. Who should be a part of this whole party?

HOWARD R. Freedman: I think as I mentioned in the book,… there are a lot of  people involved in this process, The main thing with planning, the earlier you plan, the better. I think planning should start as early as freshman year in high school. And that kind of gets the ball rolling.  Now planning again goes to setting goals talking about parameters and I go back to C for college.  When you think of Communications. And I think along those lines, you have to have an agenda of what you want to talk about.

HOWARD R. Freedman: 

00:10:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: And I think that involves definitely the parents the student but it also involves outside resources such as alums people that are going to the college visits planning those very effectively. it involves finances because a parent has financial opportunities and challenges. It involves dealing with counselors both in school and outside of school to help improve testing.

HOWARD R. Freedman: And the more people you talk to, reading newspapers, reading things online, reading interesting stories, then I think with all that in mind, you have to establish Responsibility. So the responsibility during this discussion between parent and child, which initially should just be an informal one, it doesn't have to be in a conference room.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah.

HOWARD R. Freedman: It should be on a stage where parents and children or There's equality. The difference is they're looking for different things. The student will deal with guidance counselors. They'll deal with people getting good grades.  these schools at school. the parents need to look at the finances because no matter what, those really need a thorough review. And I've told parents, one good way of dealing with that is tell the student, look, I can only afford $10,000. That's how much you can afford.

HOWARD R. Freedman: you find a school that will give you an opportunity to get a good education. We'll contribute $10,000 regardless of where you go, and then you figure out how much debt you want to incur. So, in that way, you're setting the playing field. It's not a matter of crunching all these numbers, which you should, but it's a matter of saying that's what you have to work with, and you can decide whatever you want to do. We'll support it.

HOWARD R. Freedman: If you want to go to a four-year college, If you want to go to a community college, great. If you want to go to trade school,…

HOWARD R. Freedman: but the main thing, whatever you do, you have to have that destination. And you have to go there for a purpose, not just for the sake of going. Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah. We're talking about finances and…

Cheryl Pankhurst: I want to ask you about you said, here's your $10,000, figure it out. What is the importance of your kids having some skin in the game? because I have one tunnel vision policy on kids having a skin in the game. I think for me and in anything as my kids were growing up, if they wanted to buy anything that was a bigger purchase,…

HOWARD R. Freedman: Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: they would always have to contribute half and the half had to come first and then I could meet that.

Cheryl Pankhurst: and only of course if I was in a position to do that. But I felt like there's just such an incredible feeling about earning something. And the reality of a teenager being able to pay for their entire education is not a reality.  However, knowing that they work their butts off delivering newspapers or serving coffee or whatever it is to get to where their goal is, I don't know about you, I think they put more investment in that actual goal and the process and the marks like all of that I think becomes a little more important to them. What do you think about them having skin in the game?

HOWARD R. Freedman: completely agree with I think in the US the FAFSA form is a form where by completing it the student automatically gets what they call a Stafford loan. It's not a big amount, but what it does is it does allow them to own a piece of their education.  The other thing is that during the college years, the other thing that should happen is they should build their credit score. So, it's really good to borrow money to establish credit, maybe even get a credit card to to pay off their debt. But I agree with you.

00:15:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: I'll tell you a very quick u what I call a horror story and it actually happened. I had a client and their son wanted to go to music school. He wanted to be a musician. The parents were separated. The mother The father basically had his money in retirement.  So he trying to be the good father and out of guilt and responsibility said okay if you want to go to this school if you get in I will liquidate my retirement and I'll pay for so mistake number one.

HOWARD R. Freedman: So what happened after the first year and there really wasn't any communication between the parent and the student throughout the year but at the end of the year the student gets a letter from the school saying that he has been expelled from the school.  So what happened is one it was a big surprise to Secondly the parent had no retirement and thirdly the child had no responsibility. So the person that was basically financially strapped was the father. And again along with responsibility I go back to the se for communication.

HOWARD R. Freedman: No matter where a student goes to school, a parent should check with the students, see how they're doing, because in fact, if that doesn't happen, maybe they should pull out.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Mhm.

HOWARD R. Freedman: But the bigger amount of money, the savings, even working I talk about different things students can do and different ways of saving money because that's a way of paying for college. Maybe you don't need that car.  Maybe you'll give up the convenience of a car. Maybe you'll have a less expensive cell phone. Maybe you'll live off campus. Maybe you'll commute. Those are all ways that there is The sacrifice, but there's also an investment that the student really has a big stake in the school and be motivated to succeed and to get a good job so they can pay off any debt.

HOWARD R. Freedman: But the credit score is really really important because you graduate college, you have debt and you have lousy credit score. So you want to buy a new car, you can't because you don't have the credit. Your parents aren't going to sign for you.

HOWARD R. Freedman: So work on building credit and owning part of your education because you are going to get a payback.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah, such a good point.

HOWARD R. Freedman: The payback is a career. Mhm. Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And as you talk about, it just popped into my head when you said, check with your kids about their marks. May I add to that even though you pay for their education, you have absolutely no say at the college to find out if if they're attending, if they're failing, nothing. And there is one caveat to that is if your child has a specific disability or…

HOWARD R. Freedman: Mhm. Yeah. Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: a diagnosis, you can sign off on a form that allows you to have access.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Except for that, if you think you're calling that college in October to say, "Hey, how's Mikey doing?" They're going to say, "I have no idea who you are and I'm not talking to you." make those plans prior to going to college. so we were talking a little bit about the finances and can we address that really tough talk where I just can't afford it? I just can't afford it. And sometimes I think parents might even be in a position where I know we should be planning this in nine, grade 10, grade 11, but I don't have the heart to say I don't have the money. it's so stressful and nowadays who does nobody's got the extra bucks. So can we talk about resources?

HOWARD R. Freedman: I think again going back to my C's,…

Cheryl Pankhurst: Can we talk about having that conversation? maybe even like resources people don't know about for finances. Can we get into that?

HOWARD R. Freedman: we have to talk about Creativity. And it's right. If you think of the world today, if you buy a home, you're going to take a loan. If you want to buy a car, you're going to take a loan. if you want to buy something on your credit card, it's like taking a loan. And I think the most important things is the creativity in the process of what can we do to augment the cost of college? one thing I recommend is do your research.

00:20:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: Most colleges and most websites will tell you in financial They'll say how much I've given out in merit aid is based on your skills, and anything else that you don't have to repay. So that's really a goal to say, what can we do to market you?  because the colleges have a strategy called enrollment management and what that means is they're looking for certain types of students. So if you're the right student that they want they'll give you a lot of money.

HOWARD R. Freedman: I think other things that are really important are looking at the actual resources including scholarships including work study including co-op I went to a college had a co-op that I learned internships doing a very creative  scholarship search where you can look at different sources that are not really traditional scholarships. I recommend going through a list and I thought of 50 off the top of my head of places. They could be religious, they could be academic, they can be organizations.

HOWARD R. Freedman: There's thousands of organizations in this world where you can call up and say, "Look, I'm Howard Freriedman and I'm interested in becoming a engineer. I was wondering if there's any opportunities for scholarships, maybe internships. That's a good thing, too.  Can I work at an internship during the summer to get money and then maybe after that I'll get hired, maybe they could take a gap year off and save money. All right.

HOWARD R. Freedman: and then go to school part-time or online because there's really no reason that you couldn't kind of take some time, take a breather and say, "Look, I want to get into the groove, but we just don't have enough money. I'll work construction. I'll do anything. But that will give me a year to save more money."  Other things they can do is they can go on installment payment plans. They can just say if a parent for example said, I'll contribute 10,000. many schools have installment payment plans. We can pay a,000 a month for 10 months with no interest. I'm not really in favor of parents taking home equity loans or loans.

HOWARD R. Freedman: The reason for it, it puts the parent in a bind. They may have the money, but again, it's their They have very very good protection and repayment options, but the parent is on the hook. So, we got to look at with this conversation who is responsible, and how are you going to do it?  Other things might be finding employers that have educational assistance programs if you work for them, they'll reimburse you for your education expenses.

HOWARD R. Freedman: you can also, take a break and maybe go to the military or commit to military or go in the ROC program that, enables you to do service for your country, but also pays free tuition. the community colleges, we talked about that.  What you have to think through, if you go to community college, that's going to pay for the first two years of college to get your credits. So that's money, cheap money, and then you can go on to a state college or a provincial college.

00:25:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: So if you really think and you want to do the work, part of this is going up there, rolling up your sleeves and saying, "I'm going to do it, but I know it's going to take some work, and I think I can go on and on and on about opportunities." But, in the US there's over 5,000 college. In Canada, I think there's much smaller number, but there's so many opportunities out there that you're going to find the right match and…

HOWARD R. Freedman: you're going to find a college that's within your financial means. But be creative.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And …

Cheryl Pankhurst: as you're saying, creative. I used to say this to the kids at school all the time and my own kids. What do you want to do?

Cheryl Pankhurst: Find someone who's doing it successfully and ask them because they could be allowing you to bypass all these landmines that you don't have to step on in order to get there. And they may be in the same position where I didn't have the money for that either.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cheryl Pankhurst: So I did this and then I did this and then I did this and I think the whole process of being creative just really opens your mind and opens the discussion rather than no we can't and I don't care and when you talk about parents putting their retirement or their line of credit or their home equity I really want to stress to parents really think about before you even think about offering this. I want you to picture it all falling apart,…

HOWARD R. Freedman: Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: completely falling apart. And what that's going to look like for you because emotionally, your kid's going to feel it if they think, " my god, I didn't do well. I failed out of this and now their house."

Cheryl Pankhurst: the pressure you would put on your kid…

Cheryl Pankhurst: if it does fall apart, doesn't matter whose fault it is or what happens, really I think ahead what's that going to look like in five years? What's this going to look like if they can't pay me back? What's this? because you have to be realistic about that.

HOWARD R. Freedman: I think in those terms there's a tremendous amount of pressure that parents and students  face. So somehow you have to find a ways to diffuse that pressure and many ways one I like humor.  I like things to say, hey, let's just talk about it. But you have to separate. And I think this is the sad part. I think many people, and I found in my career, make decisions based on feelings. So, we'll take the two feelings versus facts.

HOWARD R. Freedman: It's very hard for a parent to really make decisions maybe out of guilt, out of pressure, out of the fact that this is a social, thing that you have to do, you have to send your kid to college. But the facts are what are the chances that the student will succeed. I suggest to everybody write your own resume before you start write a resume not for a job but what are your skills what's your education what do you have to offer it's not what I did it's not important that I went to Harvard or it's not important that I was in the glee club it's not important to any employer what they're looking for skills

HOWARD R. Freedman: and opportunities and value that you can provide them. So, it's not about me, it's about them. And what you have to do with this whole process is have a marketing plan that you're selling yourself, a valuable person.  And again, if there's problems, if s if let's say the child needs some, counseling and all that, find schools that will offer counseling, that will offer special support a special accommodations. There's a lot out there because there's a much greater awareness that, children, may have some challenges.

HOWARD R. Freedman: So you can't just throw them in a lion's den and say succeed if in fact they need help and let them there's nothing to be ashamed of but maybe they learn at a slower pace. It's not that they're not intelligent maybe they have whatever you want to call it but you have to find an environment that will nurture the child in a way that they can succeed.  It's very very intimidating when you go to college or people pay to boost the scores and all that and you're thrown into a college that you don't belong. There was a story that somebody told me about depression and they talked about Harvard and they said one of the schools that has the greatest depression rate is Harvard.

00:30:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: They say, hey, you're going to one of the best schools in the US. Why would you have it? the reason is the student is a real star. They got, high grades, high SATs. They've been in every single club. They're president of this and that, but they're really stars. Then you go to Harvard and everybody's the same because you have a bunch of stars in the same room and it's much more competitive and…

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah.

HOWARD R. Freedman: maybe more intimidating. So students who are down here and they find that to be very very stressful, very depressing because they're not the talk top person. So fit is really important.  Then I think when you go on campus visits that I encourage, You have a plan. And if it's a need to say, "Look, I to a co I'd like to talk to a counselor in private. my child has this or that and they have special needs and what provisions do you allow? What opportunities to help them? They may have a physical handicap.

HOWARD R. Freedman: what do you do? so again, that's all part of the process that people sometimes overlook. It's okay. I mean, I know people that say to me, look, I'm a very proud person. I don't Asking for help is a sign of strength, weakness.  And I really think you have to do everything possible academically, emotionally to make sure all those pieces fall into place. That's part of this big picture. It's not a matter of going to a restaurant and say, I've seen this happen. Johnny, what do you think? have you checked out the college? Yeah, I went to this college and I really like it.

HOWARD R. Freedman: the kids are really They have nice facilities there. it's warm weather. I love playing golf, so I can play golf and I can swim and I can avoid the harsh winters. And by the way, my girlfriend goes there and I want to be with her. So, it's okay, mom and dad, to spend 50,000 a year or whatever because that's going to make me really happy.  But I also have a learning disability, but that's not going to be a problem because I'll probably be in a better frame of mind. That's why I want to go to this car.  and they're not finding the reasons to see if this college, regardless of where it is, will give them the great comfort level to know that they have a real good chance of succeeding, not failing because they went to college for a different reason.

HOWARD R. Freedman: So focusing on reason, career, likelihood of getting in, there's all kinds of statistics, what your scores should be, what your SATs are. Yeah. you tend to do better if you're a star, and using that college analogy for Harvard, you may have a better chance if you're a star going to school that's not as competitive because they really want you.  But if you go to really an IV league or something like that, they don't have to give you much money because maybe the parents have a lot of money. Now, we haven't really talked about the other extreme, the people that really don't have money, really poor money.

HOWARD R. Freedman: they do a form, they can get what they call a PEL grant and get more grants because financially they're really unable to pay. So if you take that because if you look at aid, aid is a combination of needbased by doing the financial aid forms, the FASA pro possibly the profile and merit aid. They're two different things.

00:35:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: So regardless of your financial situation, if you can work your butt off to get really high grades, take AP courses, be leadership, and all that, you're a very marketable commodity regardless of your financial situation. So you're building yourself up, and that will offset the cost of college if you're able to get merit-based aid, which is gift aid that doesn't have to be repaid.  So that's why these things that I'm discussing are strategies, but it's not just strategies for middle class and upper middle class. It's for people that really don't have much. And it's no big deal again to do the online learning, to do the community colleges if you don't have the money, looking at ways of saving money just as you get started. You got to get started and make decisions.

HOWARD R. Freedman: So once you make the right decision, you'll get there. You'll be successful.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah, I'm going to jump into when you were talking about kids with disabilities because that's my jam for the last 28 years and when you're applying to colleges and I'm in Canada so our college is equivalent to your community college and then there's university and trades. so I want to say that if you have a kid who has a disability, a diagnosis, an IEP as we call it here, then they take that to the college or university that they're accepted to. Every college and university here have phenomenal accessible programs. They call it an accessibility disabilities office. There's different names.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Okay.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And the student takes the paperwork and says, "Here, my name's Cheryl. I have a diagnosis. This is what helped me before." And the programming that they have there to help kids unre is remarkable compared to even five years ago. So you get tutors, you get equipment, you get technology, you get learning, scribing, you get all of that,…

Cheryl Pankhurst: but you get it And you get it because you ask for it. So what happens when our kids go, to the college offices and don't want to ask for help is because you have not allowed them to build that skill while they're at school.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Mhm. Right.

Cheryl Pankhurst: So, you're running to school to make sure their marks are higher. You're driving their homework in. You're making sure they're taking the courses. Listen, when your kids get to high school, they need a coach. They don't need a power over mom and dad. They need a coach who's going to work with them, push them up,…

HOWARD R. Freedman: Yep. Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: lead from behind. So, they learn all these skills of saying, "Hey, this is my human right. This is what I need and this is what I'm entitled to." And if you're doing all of that and then you're sending them off to postsecary, they have no idea how to do that. So start now. It's never too late, but please start now because, again, if your kids start feeling like this is a secret and you do all of these communications behind their back, they They feel some kind of I can't ask for help. No, this is where your kid needs to stand up and advocate.

Cheryl Pankhurst: So, give them those skills. This This is all I'm going to even put the helicopter parent episode in the show notes because this is something that's important.

HOWARD R. Freedman: I think it's sometime just to add to that parents sometimes have to let go…

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah.

HOWARD R. Freedman: but as I said earlier getting help or recognizing you needing help that's really probably more appropriate recognizing you needed help succeed. nobody has to know that. It doesn't have to be advertised to the world that Howard Freeman has a learning disability. He He's really stupid. And there's all this social pressure. But it's just become more of a way of life.

HOWARD R. Freedman: when I was a kid, long long time ago, if kids acted up, they would send them to the headm's office, but they didn't know maybe the child had some type he was hyperactive or he needed some meds and all that. They didn't really realize that there's a lot of children that have conditions that they didn't ask for, but they were born with.  And then the other piece to it, and I think in high schools, there's also kids that have social problems because they live in a household that their parents are divorced, separated, whatever, and all the things we've talked about where kids have been abused, and all that. So, the psychological piece of saying, "I got to talk to somebody. I'm afraid to stay in the dorm room.

00:40:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: I'm afraid to engage in relationships with people.

Cheryl Pankhurst: Yeah. Yeah.

HOWARD R. Freedman: It's just as important that they need a mentor. They need somebody that they can clear the air, get rid of their hostilities, and then focus on college. That's what they need to do. So, that's the other part of it, too. The emotional part where they need help, they need a buddy. they just need it.  But that's a piece to it that there are families that are not very stable. There's families I can tell you stories upon stories about parents that have betrayed their spouse and their child and left the custodial parent penniless and they weren't able to finish college.

HOWARD R. Freedman: And I've written a lot of appeal letters saying, "Hey, this is a situation. the father has cancer. the mother had a menial job. she gets government services and our kid he's really a good kid. she really smart, has high grades. We need help." and it's not hard to do the research to find the schools that do provide the needed support.

Cheryl Pankhurst: I love that. And even in the backpaddling to the special education piece, when you have a diet, at least here in Canada, there is an incredible amount of funding as well,…

HOWARD R. Freedman: Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: grants and burseries that are, for things like technology and tutoring. And so it's worth it to again be creative. As you said, Howard, I think that's really valuable. just to wrap up, this has been so informative and I love that you, put this it's a journey. It's not like putting numbers on a piece of paper and away you go. This is a whole journey and this part of your relationship with your kid. And I think it's so important to really recognize that and to know that, your kid's future isn't defined by one single choice, one single school, one a bank account.

Cheryl Pankhurst: It's about equipping them with the tools to build their path. And you do that together. And what a way to bond and form, a relationship with your teenager. It's exciting. I used to say to my kids,…

HOWARD R. Freedman: Mhm.

Cheryl Pankhurst: just I don't care what you do, just find something that you don't have to set the alarm for. And I spent 28 years teaching high school and different arenas, more special education. and I retired a year and a half ago when I realized that I was setting the alarm and it time to go and do this. And so, it might sound trivial and it might sound I don't know just a flaky thing to say, but it worked for me. I woke up every morning five minutes before the alarm because I loved what I did.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And so, if you can put that in your little app for your kids as well. And think about this as well. But Howard, I am so grateful to have you here. You're such a wealth of information and you're just so warm and generous and I want people to know that they're not alone.

Cheryl Pankhurst: There is way to get a hold of Howard. Talk tell us a little bit about your book. Tell us, how we can get a hold of you if we really need some extra help.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Okay. …

HOWARD R. Freedman: the best way to reach me is two ways. One, visit my website at www.financialliadconulting.com.  there is a place that you could contact me and I will get back to you as quickly as I can. my website is loaded with a lot of my writings and advice and information. So it's not a website particularly to make a big sales pitch. It's a website to help people become more knowledgeable. And as I say, knowledge is power.

HOWARD R. Freedman: But my goal really throughout my life is to help you, our next generation, and to help you make the best decisions and to help you face the reality that some students want to go to college, but there's trade schools and other ways of getting there. And then also have somebody to talk to. I have so many clients that talk to me, I feel like I should have gone into psychology because they tell me and they trust me with what they have to say. But I'm also very specific and I'll tell them if I can or can't help them. So I don't want to take people's money if I can't help them. I also believe I don't charge people a lot of money for my services.

00:45:00

HOWARD R. Freedman: after the money. I'm out to help people. And the great gratification I get by knowing that, like you, I get up every morning and I'm looking forward to say, maybe I did something to shape another person's life. It's a journey. It's not like a typical fill in the forms book. It tells you the truth.  A lot of things that I've expressed today are in the book like questions to ask, case studies, things to do along the way. It provides a tremendous amount of detail and I try to make it add some humor to it because it's not all bad.

HOWARD R. Freedman: I started it by saying, find a comfortable place, have coffee, cocoa, Fritos or whatever and relax and make it informal and to let I think ultimately the parents and students are on the same page so to speak and this is just another step that you're helping them find a career.  and gain the independence they need as an adult. And that's what it's all about.

HOWARD R. Freedman: It's like I want to help them get from point A to point B, a career, and lead a successful life that they can contribute to embellish their skills and give back to society to make society a better place and a place where they can bring to it their skills and knowledge and really make a difference.  So that's what I want and that's why I wrote the book and that's why I do what I've been doing and I have found this much more satisfying than working in corporate America and making a lot of money and being under a lot of pressure because I am independent and when I know I help people most people are very grateful and believe in me and thank me and write nice notes.

HOWARD R. Freedman: So, that's all worth It's all worth doing…

Cheryl Pankhurst: H that's really good.

HOWARD R. Freedman: what I'm doing. And I just want to reach out and help people. And reaching out if people need my help or they need help from other sources. Again, it's just a way of saying, "Look, we don't know everything." And it's good to really reach out and talk to people that are much more objective and less emotional about making the right decisions.

Cheryl Pankhurst: And I want to say this because I don't think we can arm wrestle our kids to listen to the same podcast as we do. I'm a realist. I know that's gonna happen. However, I want to say if your kid needs a ride to the mall, in the car and put this podcast on because, if we are start by collaborating right from the start, I think that's like a oneup, right? there's your win.

Cheryl Pankhurst: So Howard, I thank you so much for this. This has been a blast. You are so warm and comforting and generous and you would probably I'm sure make this process for parents just a little more smooth and comforting and I just love the work that you're doing. I really appreciate what you're doing out here in the world. And for joining us. Thank you for listening to Teen Minds. parenting teams redefined meaning our information is different and…

Cheryl Pankhurst: everything is different than what it was 5 years ago 10 years ago. So we are redefining the advice so parents have the best resources to raise our humans to be the most amazing people in this world and to love them on the way. thank you for listening. I really appreciate your time and we'll see you next time.

HOWARD R. Freedman: It was my pleasure.

HOWARD R. Freedman: Thank you for the opportunity.