# 83 "Navigating Work and Parenting: Support for Moms of Neurodivergent Teens"

Balancing Act: Navigating Career and Parenting Neurodivergent Teens

 #ParentingTeens #NeurodivergentTeens #WorkingMoms #CareerAndParenting #SelfCareForMoms #AutismAwareness #SupportForMoms #MentalHealth #ParentingAdvice #CherylInsightToImpact

 Welcome back to another empowering episode of "Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World." In this heartfelt discussion, Cheryl dives deep into the unique challenges faced by working moms raising neurodivergent teens. With over two decades of experience as a special education specialist, Cheryl shares her insights and offers support to those juggling career demands and the emotional rollercoaster of parenting. Discover strategies for self-care, workplace advocacy, and community engagement, and learn why wanting a fulfilling life outside of motherhood is not selfish—it's essential. Join us as we explore how to reclaim your autonomy, find joy, and transform your family dynamic.

Cheryl
00:02 - 00:43
Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for today's complex world, where we talk about the hard stuff, the real stuff, the raw stuff, pure honesty. And today's conversation is for the working moms, the career women, the ones raising neurodivergent teens and holding it all together with duct tape and grit. And I want you to know something right off the bat. I'm not coming to this just as a coach or just as an advocate. I'm speaking today as someone who spent over two decades as a special education specialist at high school.

Cheryl
00:44 - 01:29
And in that role, I made the calls. You know the ones I mean. Hi, I'm so sorry, but we need you to come and pick up your kid. There was an incident call. They're in the office again, call. And every time I heard it, that sigh, that long, heavy, heartbreaking sigh, the sound of a mom doing her best, but knowing her workday had just ended again. My heart went out to you every single time. I could feel the pressure collapse on your shoulders right through the phone. I know the meetings you were missing. I know the eyes in the office.

Cheryl
01:29 - 02:11
I know you'd have to explain again to a boss or a colleague that you were walking out. And no one really got what that did to you, to your nervous system, to your credibility, maybe even your feeling of self-worth. Does this sound familiar to you? You're up early. You're already behind. You're trying to get your teen out of bed. You're navigating emotional regulation, resistance, sensory needs, meds, breakfast, anxiety, all before 8am. And then you drop them off. Or maybe you don't. Maybe there was a panic attack, a refusal to go to school, maybe some aggression.

Cheryl
02:12 - 03:07
And then you clock in for work. You're exhausted, you're emotionally raw, you're frazzled, and you're trying to perform. And then just when you start to settle, the call comes from the school. Again, something happened. They walked out. There was a meltdown. They're dysregulated. And suddenly you are the one who is dysregulated. But the expectation, stay professional, stay productive, keep that camera on. And what they don't see is your whole world is on fire. And let's talk about the cost of this, the unspoken absenteeism, the hit to your career trajectory, the late starts, the early pickup, the personal time off that's drained by IEP meetings and crisis response, the financial strain, the guilt.

Cheryl
03:08 - 03:57
the constant relentless guilt And for single moms, it's next level You are the caregiver The support system. You don't have backup. You are the backup. You are the income. You are the mental health plan You are the iep case manager You're the emotional anchor when your teen is falling apart and then you have to go back into work like nothing happened you don't get to tag out. That pressure is unrelenting. And even in all this, there's a whisper in you that just wants more. You dream about something outside of motherhood, something that's just yours. Maybe it's a career you love.

Cheryl
03:57 - 04:45
Maybe it's a passion project, a side hustle, a quiet hour alone in a coffee shop without your phone buzzing with the school alerts. You want autonomy, fulfillment, and joy. And let me say this as clearly as I can. Wanting a life that feels fulfilling outside parenting does not make you selfish. It makes you whole. You deserve to feel more than like a responder to crisis. And just so you know you're not alone, I have got some key statistics here for working moms of neurodivergent teens. And I'm speaking today directly about ASD, autism spectrum disorder. Neurodivergent could mean any kind of diagnosis, ADHD, anxiety.

Cheryl
04:45 - 05:39
There's multiple layers underneath that neurodivergent diagnosis. But here's how you know you're not alone. Mothers of children with autism spectrum disorder earn, on average, 56% less than mothers of children without limitations. They are also 6% less likely to be employed and work seven fewer hours per week. Another study shows that mothers of autistic children are more likely to leave the workforce within the first five years after birth, with employment levels not recovering, even as the child gets older. Parents of ASD kids report higher stress levels, financial difficulties, social isolation, increased time commitments for caregiving, all of which can negatively impact their mental health and work performance.

Cheryl
05:39 - 06:23
And the stress begins before the sun even is up. You are managing breakfast and meds and meltdowns and refusal and emotional regulation just to get your kid out the door. You're already exhausted before your day even begins. And then you show up to work and you put on your game face, but inside your nervous system is bride. And just as you settle in, you're trying to shift from home mode to professional mode and the phone rings. It's the school again. Maybe there's a meltdown. Maybe there's a fight. Maybe they walked out of class. And just like that, your whole nervous system hijacks itself.

Cheryl
06:24 - 07:10
And you're expected to keep at your job like nothing happened. or you're needed at the school now, and suddenly you're the one who's dysregulated. How are you supposed to stay calm and focused and productive when you are pulled into two emotional directions at once? And let's talk about the cost of this. There's the emotional whiplash. There's missing meetings. There's getting called out again. There's the guilt, the shame, the isolation. And I know you love your child with every fiber of your being. But it's so hard to thrive in your career when you're constantly trying to survive the next school crisis.

Cheryl
07:11 - 07:55
And the impact of workplace absenteeism, it leads to something we don't talk enough about. Yes, there's the literal absenteeism. There's having to leave work. There's using all your personal time off. for meetings and crisis response. But more often, it's emotional absenteeism. You are physically present, but you're emotionally drained. You're not focused because you are always in survival mode. You're on edge, waiting for that next call. You're in meetings, but you're replaying the morning, or you're worried about the afternoon. And if you're a single mom, you can multiply that stress by 100. There's no one to tag in.

Cheryl
07:56 - 08:34
You are the support team. You're the emergency contact. You're the financial backbone. And every time the phone rings, it's not just a distraction or a disruption. It is a complete domino effect. The need to prioritize your child's mental health can result in frequent absences from work, potentially affecting job security and career advancement. And then there's the isolation in the workplace. You show up for work, but no one knows what your mornings are like. Your coworkers might see you rushing in late, missing another team lunch. They don't know you cried in your car all the way here.

Cheryl
08:35 - 09:21
They don't see you pacing during your break on the phone, trying to calm down your child while they're at school. They don't understand why your camera is off for the Zoom meeting. And so you isolate, you protect, and you smile through it. but inside you feel unseen. And then of course, there's the financial impact. Being a parent of a neurodivergent child is expensive. There's therapies, there's specialists, there's medication, private evaluation, transportation, lost wages, and on and on. And now imagine you are the only income source Or you're in a high pressure job where time off is just frowned upon and it affects your trajectory.

Cheryl
09:22 - 10:08
And yet there's still a whisper, you want more. And you feel guilty for even thinking about it. Listen, you are allowed to want joy. You're allowed to want space. You're allowed to want a piece of yourself back. That does not make you a bad mom. It makes you a whole person. And through this, I'm going to drop all of this in the show notes, but there's some strategies for support for employers. This isn't just about the moms. We have to work as a team. We need things like flexible work arrangements, implement policies that allow for flexible scheduling or remote work options to accommodate caregiving responsibilities.

Cheryl
10:09 - 11:00
We can have employee resource groups, establish networks within the organizations of parents of neurodivergent kids to share experiences and resources. They don't need to be isolated. And then provide training and awareness for managers and staff to foster understanding and support for neurodiversity and the challenges faced by caregivers. For working moms, we need self-compassion. We need to encourage practices that promote self-care and acknowledge the dual demands of work and caregiving. We need to advocate. We need to empower mothers to communicate their needs to employers and seek accommodations that support dual roles. We need community engagement. We need to promote involvement in support groups or networks that provide emotional support and practical advice.

Cheryl
11:01 - 11:44
There's a ton of books and resources I'm going to put in the show notes. One of my favorites is The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Green. It is a must read for parents of kids with behavioral challenges and it introduces the collaborative and proactive solutions approach that empowers parents to reduce power struggles and increase connection. There's differently wired. There's burnout, the secret to unlocking stress cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. There's untamed by the famous Glennon Doyle. And it's not specific to neurodivergence, but incredibly powerful for helping moms reclaim themselves, their voice, and their inner knowing, especially when life feels way out of alignment.

Cheryl
11:45 - 12:52
There's online resources, there's communities, there's Facebook groups and online communities. Moms of Neurodivergent Teens is a private group. Working moms raising neurodivergent kids, great advice, rants and celebrating small wins. There's Attitude Magazine community where I'm going to drop a link into an article I wrote for them not too long ago that they published. And then, of course, there's podcasts, not just this amazing podcast, but there's Motherhood and ADHD, or there's Tilt Parenting by Debbie Reber. And I'm going to drop everything in here and the other. resources for self-care are Calm or headspace or insight timer all apps that moms can plug into even if it's like for 30 seconds in the morning before you get out of bed before your feet hit the ground before all the Dumpster fires start happening in your house in the mornings and all of these, you know are great resources and great strategies, but I know you need more.

Cheryl
12:53 - 13:38
So here is my gentle invitation to you today. What would 5% more autonomy look like for you? 5% more breath, more joy, more time to remember who you are. You don't have to go all in for this. You don't need a radical reinvention. You just need a crack in the door, a sliver of space where you get to exist too. That is not indulgent. It is essential. If this feels anything like your story or someone you know, if you're a mom answering the school calls, pushing through meetings, crying in your car, you're not alone. You don't have to figure this out alone.

Cheryl
13:39 - 14:14
You don't need to carry this all by yourself anymore. If you're listening and this speaks to you, I want to invite you to reach out, ask questions, get in my private Facebook group, Parenting Teens, private Facebook group, where you can anonymously ask questions. You can connect with people who are going through the same thing. You can share your wins. You can share your struggles. You can ask questions. You can share your own story. You can DM me, you can email me, you can send me a voice note. This is a space where you are seen without judgment.

Cheryl
14:17 - 15:03
If you're a company leader or in HR, if you want to support the incredible moms in your organization who are carrying all of this quietly behind the scenes, let's talk, reach out. I can customize a program within the capacity of your organization to hold space, to support, to offer guidance, to work together. Because when we support these moms, we don't just retain top talent, we transform lives. Mom's for you. You are not broken. You are not behind. You are doing something extraordinary. I see you and I'm with you and I thank you for being here and take care of you too.

Cheryl
15:04 - 15:43
Thanks for listening. Thank you for listening to another episode. I just wanted to share something with you because, you know, parenting teens is not just about managing these challenges that we talk about on all the episodes. It's also about evolving alongside them. And I'm Cheryl, and not only the host of this podcast, but I'm also the creator of Insight to Impact, coaching and consulting. And I help you moms of teens reconnect with your true selves so you can lead with purpose, you can parent with clarity, you can create stronger, more meaningful relationships with your kids.

Cheryl
15:44 - 16:18
Because here's the truth. The transformation starts with you. Together, we will break free from the stress and overwhelm. We will rediscover your power. We will create the life and the family dynamic you always dreamed of. If you're ready to start this journey, let's do it. You might just not recognize your life in the next 90 days. It all starts with a call. There's no pitch. There's no pressure, just a call to see if I can help. We'll talk about your goals. We'll talk about what's making you feel stuck and what might be getting in your way.

Cheryl
16:18 - 16:35
And everything you need to connect with me is in the show notes. Again, I'm Cheryl. Thank you so much for joining me here on Parenting Teens, advice redefined for today's complex world and the creator of Insight to Impact Coaching and Consulting. Have a great day.