#89 My View on the Complexities of Netflix Adolescence - Part 2 of 4

 #ParentingTeens #TeenAdvice #AdolescenceSeries #NetflixDiscussion #TeenParenting #EmotionalImpact #AuthorityInSchools #EmojiLanguage #OnlineInfluence #CaringAdult #ParentingJourney #InsightToImpact #CherylPankhurst

 Welcome to another insightful episode of "Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World." In this episode, we dive into the second installment of our four-part series on the Netflix show "Adolescence." Join Cheryl as she unpacks the intricate layers of episode two, exploring the haunting music, emotional contrasts, and the unsettling detachment from authority among teenagers. Discover the hidden language of emojis, the influence of online ideologies, and the critical role of a caring adult in a teen's life. Cheryl shares her unique perspective as an educator and parent, offering valuable insights for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers in today's world.

Speaker 1
00:01 - 00:25
Welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for today's complex world. Today is episode two of a four-part series on the Netflix show Adolescence. So if you haven't seen it, spoiler alert, I'm talking about episode two. If you haven't seen it, turn me off right now and come back later after you've watched it.

Speaker 1
00:25 - 01:01
I've watched the whole series once, And just got immersed in not just what's actually happening, the black and white of what's happening in the show, but the nuances behind it are just unreal and I had to talk about it. Parents are talking about it. It's in all the Facebook groups and I know why. And I'm coming at this, if you can understand too, not just as a parent, not just somebody watching the Netflix shows, but as an educator for 25 years and how things evolved and changed in high school from when I started to when I retired a couple of years

Speaker 1
01:01 - 01:32
ago. So I want to tell you this, if you are going to watch it, I highly recommend you put on your closed captions because the accents are so thick they're really difficult to understand. We watched the first three episodes without closed captioning and really missed a whole lot of nuances and understanding of what was actually going on and there's some really important points that we missed. So I would highly recommend now I've gone through them all again.

Speaker 1
01:32 - 02:03
And on the third time, this is how I'm doing the episodes of four part series. This is episode two on episode two in the whole series of adolescence on Netflix. Here we go. The opening of this I really noticed more I think in the second episode is that real eerie haunting music and then they've got all these clips of these really Innocent looking shots of kids would just be a typical 12 or 13 year old taking a picture But you

Speaker 1
02:03 - 02:46
know after the first episode what's actually going on? So it really sets this like Emotional contrast of kids, but they're so deeply entangled in this like adult issues Um, so the second episode begins with the lead detective and the second lead Going into the school. So now they are going into the school to question the students and It's interesting because the first shot as they get into the school is the principal, you know, having these conversations, I've got all these calls from the parents and they're asking if the school is safe. And his first response is, well, it didn't even happen on school property.

Speaker 1
02:48 - 03:32
And are we just social workers now and not just teachers? And it really depicted for me this like, Detachment this avoidance that um Of an emotional impact made on a community if it wasn't within these four walls Then it doesn't connect with school and we all know that the school community is is far beyond the school walls And in one of the interviews a question The victim's very best friend claims to be the very best friend. Um, we don't obviously know how the victim feels but She had said her name is jade and she said she was my only friend.

Speaker 1
03:32 - 04:45
She's the only one who knew I was okay and she got very very defensive and angry when the detectives even Slightly insinuated that maybe katie had done something wrong And that was the end of her interview. She wound up getting in an altercation later on in the show But it's you know as they as the police Was so obvious to me as the police were going into each classroom And the teachers were you know asking kids to be quiet sit down listen answer questions kids were like they did not care they had zero they were zero intimidated by authority of the police or even what the teachers were saying or the principal was saying They were laughing, they were joking about, the couple of them were actually joking about the incident. And it makes me wonder, like, either these kids actually weren't surprised by what happened based on what's going on in the school, or are they so desensitized by, I don't know, video games?

Speaker 1
04:45 - 04:51
Like, is it, what? I don't know what that is. I don't, like, it was very disturbing. These kids are 13 years old.

Speaker 1
04:52 - 05:31
And joking about a victim of a stabbing and joking about the police being in the classroom. I mean when I went to school or even when I I know back in the day, I sound like the old lady but If the teacher walked down the hall or the principal walked down the hall man, we were like Straighten up shut up. Keep your eyes down. Keep walking And you know, even if I now were to be pulled over by the police to I don't know get a speeding ticket or whatever I would be so intimidated Or going through customs like there's just someone in uniform that I feel this sense of I don't

Speaker 1
05:31 - 05:48
know. Was it the way we were raised? But I just see a complete contrast now where, no, we don't want kids to feel controlled or afraid of authority. But is there like a level of respect that isn't happening?

Speaker 1
05:48 - 06:02
I don't know. You tell me what you think on that one. The teachers were telling the kids get in line put this down put away your phone and the kids were like shut up And there was no repercussions. The teacher was just like okay, and one teacher was quoted as saying what can I do?

Speaker 1
06:03 - 06:27
These kids are fucking impossible. Aren't they quote that was his quote. So as we Get in through the interrogation As he's as the detectives are kind of talking to these students Little things are popping out and one One message was so clear. There was one kid who's a friend of the suspect and Kind of alludes.

Speaker 1
06:27 - 06:41
There's a little bit of guilt going on there through the episode But he was really fixated on The word popularity even to the detective. Were you popular in school? Was that important to you? Did you get a lot of girls?

Speaker 1
06:41 - 07:07
Totally skirting all the questions, all the topic they were discussing to find out if this guy was popular with the girls. Did he have lots of girlfriends? And it just seemed like there was just this level of popularity that was really important to him. And then as soon as they started talking about his part in this, he was done.

Speaker 1
07:07 - 07:12
He got up and he left. And the cops are calling him. The teacher's calling him. Got up and left.

Speaker 1
07:12 - 07:35
Had no, absolutely no conscience to turn around and listen to the cops at all. It was almost like there's no adult authority. There was no level of authority in this school. So as we go through then, Um, there is a boy in the school who is the son of the lead detective.

Speaker 1
07:35 - 07:49
It was really interesting because the detective had made a point of telling his son. I won't, you know, I won't center you out. I'll just, just pretend I'm not there sort of thing. I won't embarrass you, but the son sought him out and got him in a private room and.

Speaker 1
07:50 - 08:16
Opened up to him about what was actually happening and his motive the kids motive was dad You're embarrassing me like you're you're not getting what people are saying. You're not understanding what's happening. You're just blundering around here and it's embarrassing And that's where he really led into everything is on Instagram. And the detectives were looking on Instagram, and they're looking at the notes, and they're looking at the messages.

Speaker 1
08:16 - 08:37
And the kid is like, it's not in the words. It's in the emojis. Every emoji means something. really different where the red heart means I love you, but the purple heart means i'm horny and the black heart means I want to get together and hook up but the green heart means no i'm not interested and there's the red pill and there's the blue pill and

Speaker 1
08:38 - 09:06
this whole other language behind the emojis that As parents, as educators, we need to be looking at our kids' Instagrams. And like I said, if your kid is like, no, you're not going through my Instagram, that's 100% reason to go through their Instagram and even possibly consider they don't have social media if they can't manage it. I mean, look at the repercussions of this. They also explained this 80-20 rule.

Speaker 1
09:06 - 09:51
And we've all heard of that in business. 80 of the effort gets 20 of the results, but this was in this context 80 of the girls Are interested in 20 of the boys So boys feel pressured to trick girls into connecting with them instead of in a genuine holistic meeting a girl way because the fraction The ratio is so low that they have to trick them into wanting to be with them And then they referenced. Um andrew tate I gotta tell you I had to google it.

Speaker 1
09:51 - 10:25
Who the hell is andrew tate? So apparently Andrew tate is I have my notes here for this one. Um is influence the online misogynistic ideologies on vulnerable teenage boys This content contribute to the radicalization of youth leading to disordered perceptions of gender and relationships And specifically the show says the word manosphere And it's a collection of online communities that promote male supremacy and often harbor misogynistic views.

Speaker 1
10:25 - 11:32
So in the context of the show, Jamie, the suspect, is being depicted as being influenced by these ideologies, which is highlighted by his classmate, Katie, who is the victim, when she labels him as incel. So incelibate, meaning They will always be virgins because they are not attractive to the opposite sex Oh my god, I had I had to look that one up so this guy andrew tate just gained popularity through boxing or mma or some kind of fighting but he then started becoming really influential among among teenage boys Online and through like short clips and promoting health and wealth and dominance and control over women He was banished from all the major platforms instagram facebook tiktok They're violating the policies and that related to hate speech and very harmful content And he's currently facing some really serious criminal charges.

Speaker 1
11:32 - 11:50
So the fact that he was brought up and he is um influencing these kids these 13 year old kids I had no idea who he is. Do parents know who this guy is? Do parents know what these emojis are? Do parents know what this underlying language is?

Speaker 1
11:50 - 12:32
Oh my gosh. So I want to then just talk about the, you know, as they go through, as the cops go through the school, they're talking about the smell, the smell of, Vomit, and I think it was lunches, and masturbation. They just felt like the kids, and I get it, the hormones, those grades of the younger boys, younger girls, you can feel it when you walk through the building. But one reflection from a detective was, my school was like this too, and it was terrible, but I had one really good teacher.

Speaker 1
12:33 - 12:58
And she said, all a kid needs is one really good teacher. I think I've referred it to in other podcast episodes as one caring adult. And one thing that really makes them feel good about themselves. And as they were discussing the case, one detective said, I just need to understand why he did it.

Speaker 1
12:59 - 13:43
And his partner very eloquently described it as you will never understand why we can get the how we can get the motive We can get the weapon but Will you ever really truly understand why a 13 year old kid would do this type of crime? No, because we don't think like them We don't have experiences like them. So no, can we can we truly understand why they did what they did? No, I don't think so either But there's such a gap between our understanding as adults, our generation, parents' generation, to this whole distorted world that our kids are trying to navigate.

Speaker 1
13:43 - 14:23
I mean, look at all these, just in a 45-minute episode, there was the emojis and the language. And the you know disconnect between authority and there's just so much going on that you have to watch it Sorry, you have to watch it. So I just want to remind you that you know Again, like I even said yesterday if your kids if you're if you want to go through your kids social media And they say no That is the first sign that you absolutely need to go through their social media and not just looking at their words.

Speaker 1
14:24 - 14:38
We're looking at emojis and those signs and symbols that means so much more. And you know what? I mean, there's Google, there's chat GPT. If you need to know what they mean or go on episode two of adolescence and they'll tell you what they mean.

Speaker 1
14:40 - 15:12
Oh Anyway, obviously this this whole series has brought up some emotion for me and things have Really evolved. I know this is in the uk, but I don't I don't think there's a huge gap between what's going on in north america that age group and what's going on in the uk But all in all I think awareness When you think you're aware of what's going on, you're probably not really aware of what's going on. Oh yeah, I look at all the conversations that go on in Facebook and Instagram, but look further.

Speaker 1
15:13 - 15:55
Read into those emojis and ask about them because they are really a valuable clue as to what our kids are talking about with each other. They're little silent little messages. Could be very telling in what you need to get involved in with your kids. okay that's it next week will be episode three and there's only four and again i would love for you to be engaging on my on my dm social media go on my website cherylpangers.com or even dm me on any of the social media let me know how you're

Speaker 1
15:55 - 16:09
feeling about this i want to know if it's affecting you and are you talking to your kids about this are you watching this with your kids oh i want to know that one too All right. Thank you for listening. I will see you next time. Cheryl signing off.

Speaker 1
16:12 - 16:36
Thank you for listening to another episode. I just wanted to share something with you because you know, parenting teens is not just about managing these challenges that we talk about on all the episodes. It's also about evolving alongside them. And I'm Cheryl, and not only the host of this podcast, but I'm also the creator of Insight to Impact, coaching and consulting.

Speaker 1
16:36 - 16:56
And I help you moms of teens reconnect with your true selves so you can lead with purpose, you can parent with clarity, you can create stronger, more meaningful relationships with your kids. Because here's the truth. The transformation starts with you. Together, we will break free from the stress and overwhelm.

Speaker 1
16:57 - 17:11
We will rediscover your power. We will create the life and the family dynamic you always dreamed of. If you're ready to start this journey, let's do it. You might just not recognize your life in the next 90 days.

Speaker 1
17:12 - 17:19
It all starts with a call. There's no pitch. There's no pressure, just a call to see if I can help. We'll talk about your goals.

Speaker 1
17:19 - 17:39
We'll talk about what's making you feel stuck and what might be getting in your way. And everything you need to connect with me is in the show notes. Again, I'm Cheryl. Thank you so much for joining me here on Parenting Teens, advice redefined for today's complex world and the creator of Insight to Impact Coaching and Consulting.

Speaker 1
17:39 - 17:40
Have a great day.