#99 "Child Trafficking Awareness: A Parent's Guide to Action" with Erin Williamson

https://www.instagram.com/love146 Navigating the Complex World of Child Trafficking with Erin Williamson

In this eye-opening episode of "Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's World," we delve into the critical issue of child trafficking with Erin Williamson, Chief Program and Strategy Officer at Love 146. Erin brings over 20 years of experience in trauma-informed prevention and survivor support programs. She shares her journey from witnessing the plight of street children in Kenya to becoming a fierce advocate for vulnerable youth in the United States.

We explore the realities of child trafficking in North America, debunk common myths, and discuss the signs parents and educators should look out for. Erin provides invaluable insights into how traffickers target vulnerable children and the role of technology in modern trafficking. We also discuss proactive conversations parents can have with their teens to ensure their safety online and offline.

Join us as we uncover the importance of creating a supportive community for our children and learn how we can all take action to protect them. This episode is a must-listen for any parent wanting to safeguard their children in today's complex world.

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Welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice, redefined for today's world. And today's guest is someone who sits at the intersection of fierce advocacy and compassionate care. Erin Williamson is the Chief Program and Strategy Officer at Love 146, a globally recognized organization working to end child trafficking. For over a decade, Erin has led trauma-informed prevention and survivor support programs, bringing over 20 years of frontline and policy experience to this critical fight.

She's not only an expert in protecting vulnerable youth, she's also a licensed clinical social worker, a parent, and a dedicated voice for change in both education and public systems. Her work is more than just awareness, it's about us helping us all to take action. So if you have been in my community, you know I dive deep into the toughest issues you parents and your kids might be dealing with. And my motive here is to create awareness, give you the look fors and open up a community where you don't feel so alone.

I wanna eradicate the unnecessary guilt and shame that sometimes consumes us and guide you to a better place. So here's your trigger warning. Today's episode touches on topics of child trafficking and trauma, so please take good care of yourself first while you're listening or before you listen. Welcome Erin Williamson.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I am too. This is a topic, you know, really started investigating trying to get an expert on here.

And I'm so glad I found you because I feel like this is something that we really need to talk about as hard as it is. And I think there's a lot of things we, you know, we might know what we know in this little microscope of child trafficking. And I think I really wanted to bring you on to expand our horizon on what we need to know and look for and how we can take action against this. So before we even get to that, Erin, please share your why, share your how and what led you to be here today doing what you're doing, please.

Yeah, I mean, it started actually when I was in college and I did my study abroad. I was overseas and I was with this incredible program. And as part of the program, you went off and kind of did research in whatever area was of most interest. And I saw these street children really living on the streets in Kenya and just became um really fascinated with the concept that kids as young as I mean some of them were three five seven were just living on the streets by themselves in groups and Through that work.

I I really became aware of the Sexual exploitation that occurred in these types of communities so when I came back to the united states, I really delved into the topic of street children, of child sex tourism. And then, you know, I started realizing, as many people do, you at first think it happens over there, right? It can't happen here. And I started realizing the extent to which it does happen here in the United States and really started delving into Well, why and how does this happen here?

And, um, and have been doing domestic work for, you know, over the last decade. And, um, and now I have my own children, right? So I have my own children. They're nine.

They're 13. I see what they're navigating. Yeah. I live in, in one of those communities where you would think it never happens here.

You know, I can tell you already my, my oldest is 13. And he's had to navigate some situations with his friends. We think it doesn't happen to boys. And he's coming home from sleepovers telling me that he woke up and he saw one of his friends on an app, that the whole purpose of this app is to meet strangers.

And that's what he was doing at 1 AM in the morning during a sleepover when he couldn't sleep. So I think it is one of those things where we have a lot of myths, right? a desire to say it doesn't happen here. And hopefully it won't happen to your listeners.

But I also think that there are so many things that do happen to our youth, like they end up talking to the wrong person, like they end up on a website that's not a safe place for them to be. And sometimes it is like, but for the grace of God, or but for them having had previous conversations with adults in their life to be able to recognize, okay, this is not going to be a safe place. I need to back myself out of this situation. That's incredible work.

And I think even before we get into, you know, the details, can you tell us, like, what is child trafficking? And I'm in Canada, you're in the US, and what does it look like in North America? Like, how does it differ from these stereotypes that parents and educators, like you said, oh, it doesn't happen here. How does it differ from these stereotypes?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, um, you know, so first of all, there are children who are brought into our countries who are trafficked for the purposes of, of labor or sexual exploitation. Um, but a lot of what we see in our program is actually, you know, people who are here who are US citizens, who are born in here, exploited in their neighborhoods.

Some of them do leave the state, but many of them are exploited in their own neighborhoods where they live. So I think when you hear trafficking, some people have this assumption that there has to be movement across borders. And there actually doesn't for the definition of human trafficking. It really is any time we're exchanging any kind of sexual act, for anything of value.

So that could be money, but that also could be shelter, a place to live, that food. Sometimes it's a ride. Sometimes it's drugs. So it can be really anything of value.

And then when you talk about labor trafficking, it's that same exploitation but for labor. There has to be kind of force, fraud, or coercion. So oftentimes, you'll hear things Like this is something you have to do. You don't have a choice or the coercive nature of if you loved me, this is, or I'm going to hurt your family if you don't do this, the threats.

So there has to be that kind of, and we say that because, you know, there are young people that do actually have jobs below the age of 18 and those are legal jobs. And so we want to differentiate between what is kind of legal employment and what is trafficking. So what is it? I want to ask about the frame of mind of the child or the teen.

What is it? I mean, we see kids living on the street. We see that. And we think, what is it that you are so unsafe with at home that brings you to the street?

And I feel like what is, what is, what are they thinking? And I don't know, can we tell what they're thinking? I don't know. What is going through their minds in your experience that they are in this situation as opposed to being at home?

Sure. Yeah, no. And that's a great question. I mean, sometimes it really is a resource thing, right?

They come from families and communities that are under resource. They struggle to meet their basic needs. They struggle. you know, their families might be couch surfing, they might not always have food in in their refrigerator.

Sometimes it's it has to do with prior abuse, right? We do know that not all homes are safe for all children. So sometimes they have experienced prior abuse or neglect. You know, many of our youth who experienced sex trafficking have prior histories of sexual abuse.

And these are things that traffickers, you know, they target, right? They target kids who don't have their basic needs met. They target kids who have prior sexual abuse, because in their mind, those are the kids that are easier to manipulate, right? This has already happened to them.

Something they'll target kids that are system involved, right? Because again, something has to have already gone wrong in your life for you to have been involved in the system. And so these are things that traffickers look for. Now, I will also say that we have worked with kids who come from homes you wouldn't imagine, right, to family homes, well-resourced homes.

Oftentimes in those situations, what we're finding are the parents are so consumed by their work or consumed by kind of their own activities on the internet, that those children really feel neglected. And so they're looking for, you know, those connections, whether it be parental or friend connections on the internet, and they don't have good supervision and oversight by their parents, even though they might have the financial resources they still are missing the emotional connections that they're desiring. And so traffickers really take advantage of whatever's missing in a child's life and then they promise to fulfill that need and that one and desire. So how How can a trafficker spot a vulnerable kid?

What is the process from first introduction, timeline, and then I got them? What is that process? Yeah, and it really has changed with the internet, right? So I'm going to start with kind of like the in-person, right?

You know, there are certain schools that traffickers might know are under-resourced schools, right? If you're in certain neighborhoods, there can be certain assumptions made about you know, the extent to which your family has resource needs. And what traffickers really do is they ingratiate themselves. They become the boyfriend or the best friend or the parent.

You know, we had a couple that lived in a neighborhood and they had kind of spread the word amongst all the kids that were in foster care in that neighborhood. Hey, if you ever need to get away, If you ever need just a break, you can always come here and kind of take a respite. We're a safe place for you. And so they, they, you know, posited themselves as being a safer place for those kids to run if they felt that urgent need.

And then those kids would be there two, three, four days. And all of a sudden it was. you know, you can really stay here, but, but we're going to need you to contribute some way. Right.

It costs money to feed you. It costs money to take care of you. Is there any way that you can kind of pay into this, you know, maybe get a job if you don't know how to do that, we can help you. Right.

And so it's a lot of times it's postured in a way of like, we're trying to help you or, or we already paid for all of these things. So now you owe us. Right. You know, the other way that people do it online is that, you know, online people will start talking with different people and see what they disclose, right?

And I think that, you know, one of the things that we think about online that we forget about is the gaming community, right? Traffickers go wherever kids are, and a lot of kids, especially boys, are on the gaming systems. You know, now you play in groups. You know, you'll have people who will vouch for people.

Oh, they're my cousin. They're a friend of a friend. I've played with them forever. They're cool.

You know, and all of a sudden it doesn't take but a couple of connections where your child is now in a group with strangers. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And, and I mean, you hear my kids are older, so I didn't experience this, but I hear from friends or I'm at friends places and I can hear the kids playing online and having these conversations as if they know these people forever.

And, and, and now we have this thing in common. Like how easy is that to get kind of roped into that? Right. And then you have games where you can, you know, you can pay money to level up.

You can pay money for certain weapons or different skins. And if you have a kid that's never able to get those skins or level up, you know, that's an indicator that maybe that kid's not resourced. Right. So then you can start saying, don't worry, I'll get you that I'll pay for that.

I'll trade you for this, for that. And so you're forming these deeper relationships. that are connected to something of value again, and then you're going to end up starting to manipulate those relationships. Wow.

What, besides gaming, what platforms on social media are the ones we really need to be careful? Watch for signs. If our kids are on there, Can we have these proactive conversations with them and say, listen, this is what you need to look for. If this person's asking you this, can I as a parent, and I say this all the time on my podcast, if your kid is telling you they don't want you to look at their social media, that's when you're looking at their social media, there's your first clue.

So give us a little advice there and what platforms to look out for and maybe what language or what signs. Yeah. So I'm going to give you more language and signs because it used to be that we knew certain platforms were just, you know, you know, you knew if your kid was on there that it was not a good situation. And now what we've seen happen is we've seen both some of those platforms like Snapchat, for example, which was started to take, you know, have photos disappear.

That was the impetus of Snapchat is now a very common app that kids use for regular text messaging. And on the flip side, we've seen kids exploited on sites like Pinterest. So, right, exactly. There is no kind of, oh, as long as my kids are on this site versus that site, they're OK.

I think you're right. You know what? One of the We have this series of emails that we send out to parents and they can sign up for it on our website. And one of the things we do is we kind of make the analogy of, you know, introducing technology, especially phones or iPads or things like that.

It's kind of like teaching your child to cross the street. When they're younger, you're holding their hands, you're showing them to look both ways. You're really teaching them and walking them through it. You're not starting on a busy street.

You're probably starting on a very small, not a lot of traffic. at the corner. And then as they get bigger, right, maybe at some point you drop their hand and they walk beside you. And then maybe at some point, you know, you say, okay, you can go to so-and-so's house and you know, they're going to be crossing some streets by themselves.

And the goal is, is that, you know, by the time they reach adulthood, they could go to any kind of major metropolitan area and navigate crossing a street. And the same is true for the internet, right? We don't just drop our kids in a major metropolitan area and say, good luck, we'll be back in two hours. But we kind of do that with the internet.

And I hear a lot of parents who say, well, I'll put something in place if something goes wrong. And I think that's just the absolute wrong way to go about introducing technology and the internet to our kids. We really do need to kind of protect them, put them in what is a relatively tight bubble that they can explore, but we know it's safe. And then as their brains are getting older, as they're developmentally getting, we're slowly loosening that up.

There's a great website called wait till eight and they have all this technology, watches, phones that are specifically made for kids. I will tell you, we got my, my oldest child got the bark phone, right? That is a phone where we are able to monitor what happens there. We get alerts if there's concerns about bullying, about sexually explicit content, anything kind of like that.

Now, It was a big thing in my house when all of his friends got iPhones because he has an Android and you know, the bubble turns green. But I tried to really explain to him that this is, you know, this is why it's not that I don't trust you. It's that things can happen and that I want you to be able to feel safe and I want to feel safe as you explore. And, you know, at some point we will start loosening things up.

It was really eyeopening for my child when he was recently at a sleepover and he looked over. and realized, yeah, one of his friends was on an app talking to strangers. And I think he was able to make that connection of like, okay, now I understand why you haven't just given me free range of the internet. Okay.

Do you have an age recommendation for different levels of social media, even getting a phone period? I mean, Yes. I mean, it's very hard. I know there's wait till late.

There's that movement of wait until eighth grade. I say that with the caveat that every family structure is different, right? If you are a divorced parent, for example, It depends on your relationship with the partner of the other parent. You might not have a great relationship with that parent, and you might still need to get access to your child and want access to your child.

And you might want your child to be able to have immediate access to you, again, given the situation. So I think it really does depend on each family's unique personal situation. I do think starting off with a smaller, like a watch, or even letting them connect to their friends on your phone so that they can only do it after school when they're at home. I will say that if you can, obviously, I think the longer you can wait, the better.

In the app stores, they will say a lot of things are 13 and over, and at least in the United States, the reason for that is simply because they're not allowed to collect data on children under 13. So the only reason they put 13 and over, it's not because they think it's age appropriate. It's so that they know they can collect data on the children that are using that. I think there is a growing movement to push for no social media before age 16.

I think that's really important and really good. I think a lot of the data shows that it's social media in particular, not just as it relates to trafficking, but as it relates to self-image, as it relates to doing things that you can't necessarily take back easily because once it's on the internet, it's very hard to take down. And I think once again, the older you can get, the more their brains are developed and the more they are starting to begin to think about longer term consequences of their action.

The other thing I will say that I think is really, really critical when you're working with preteens and teens is any rules in your house, no matter what they are, when you share them with your kids, like we're going to talk about what I expect for you on the phone, then you say, look, I understand that you are entering an age where you're going to push the boundaries, right? That's part of this age. And what I want you to know is if and when you break the boundaries, which obviously I'm not advocating for, I don't want you to do it, but I'm also not stupid.

And I know that that might happen. The most important thing is your safety. And so if you're in a situation where you don't think you're safe or you need any help, please come to me. The most important thing in that moment is not that you broke a rule.

It's that we make sure that you're safe. Yeah, it's funny. I think it was just a couple of episodes ago where I was talking about that, where, you know, a lot of parents, you hear them say, doesn't matter. I don't care what you do.

If you're in trouble, you can call me and I will not ask any questions. But your face asks the questions. So you need to understand that your kid is still reading the room. They might not be in trouble at that moment, but they know that you are now judging them So I think it's you really need to check yourself if you really want your kids to trust you in those situations You can come back to it later But yeah, I

think it's really important that we don't just you know, talk the talk and out walk the walk when it comes to our kids you just want them to call you period get you call whatever it is and So, tell me, what are kind of the preventative conversations parents can have with their kids? And I agree with you with the 16, I've been saying that for so long now, I told and, you know, I mean, I'm 60 and I look at social media and I see, you know, oh, I'm 60 and I'm running a marathon and climbing a mountain and I'm driving a Mercedes and that instant little comparison does come in.

But when you're 13, 14, 15, and you're looking at these kids who are just living a different life with that huge filter and you don't, I see the filter. They don't see the filter. So I completely agree with you with 16. It's been, I think that's a really good trigger age for, okay, now we can start.

But let's talk about. Like having these pre conversations with kids, what we can say, what we, and even, I know you do school work as well. Like what educators can be seeing in the classroom. Like they're seeing things.

Kids are on their phones all the frigging time at school. And, you know, they think they have this magic power where we don't see their screens as teachers. So can you kind of talk about those pre conversations? Absolutely.

And I think as adults, we make a lot of assumptions, right? We assume, oh, well, I'm a teacher. Of course, they know I'm a safe person to go to. Or, oh, I'm their parent.

Of course, they know I want them to come to me first. Or I'm a neighbor. Of course, they know they can come over to me if they need anything, right? So we make these assumptions that kids know these things.

But we haven't actually explicitly said that. And I think it's really, really critical that as adults, we explicitly say these. And it can be fairly simple, right? So like, for example, a teacher, an educator saying things like, look, you know, These middle school years, they're really hard years.

And I just want you to know, as we get started this year, that if any of you ever have anything that you want to talk about, you want to chat about, my door is always open. I am happy to have lunch with anybody. I'm happy to stay after school and then doing periodic reminders. I just want to remind you guys, you know, I said this at the beginning of the year, but it still is true.

If any of you guys are going through anything or, or want to bounce some ideas off of me, I am someone you can come to. And, you know, as parents, saying, you know, when your, your kids friends are over saying, you know, Hey guys, you know, as I get you these popsicles or as I, you know, get you water or sodas, you know, I just want you guys to know, you know, I know I'm, I'm so-and-so's mom, but if any, if you guys ever need anything, I really care about all of you. I just want you to know that our home is a safe home.

You can always come here. You know, we, you know, me and so and so's dad we're always available to help you if you need anything. Just let us know right we care about all you we want to make sure that you all are kind of have everything you need and are doing the best you can. Again, you might not have that kid immediately come up to you and say something.

But for that kid whose home isn't safe, or for that kid who has a parent that they don't feel that they can call when they're in an emergency, that kid has tucked that inside of them. That kid has tucked that invitation to come to you. And they will feel like, OK, I have somebody. And so often, our kids, when we talk with them, They'll be talking to, you know, hundreds, if not thousands of people on social media or the internet.

And we will say to them, who can you go to if you have an emergency? And they'll just sit there and they won't sometimes be able to name a single person. And if they do, sometimes they can only name other kids. But we'll say, are any of those individuals adults?

And they'll say no. Every kid should have at least one, but ideally up to three adults that they could go to if they were in an emergency and they needed something. And so again, it's really important to tell your children, you can always come to me and I want you to. But the other thing is to acknowledge your kid might not always want to come to you.

parent, but it's more important that they go to some adult than that they try to figure it out with their peers who might not have a factual information. Who do you think you could go to if it wasn't me? If I wasn't around and you had an emergency, who else could you go to? And really help them to think about those things.

So when they're in that situation, it's like automatically triggers. Oh, I forgot. I said I could go to so-and-so. So you're just planting those seeds in case they ever need them.

That is, that's so good. Like, yeah. And I think I've said this before is never assume a kid has a caring adult in their life. Absolutely.

Never assume that because that's what happens. That's what we do. And then, so just be that caring adult period. And if you never get used as a caring adult, that's okay.

You still have it in your back pocket. I think that's really good having those conversations. I think that's so smart. I wanna ask you now too about, and we had this conversation when we met.

So I'm a spec ed specialist and been dealing with kids, neurodivergent kids forever. And when we talk about age ranges, When kids are neurodivergent, you can back up that age. If they are biologically 15 and they have severe ADHD or they're on the spectrum, you can back that up about three to four years. So when we are expecting kids, you know, when we're handing them the phone or we're handing them social media, are we thinking, is he really?

at the developmental age of 15, maybe not. So can you speak to that? And can you speak to how traffickers can target kids with special needs? Yeah, so I can.

And we have a lot of the kids who receive services through our programs. They have special needs, right? They have IEP plans, 504 plans. And traffickers, for traffickers, it is, again, when traffickers look to figure out who they're going to exploit, They're looking for kids who are system-involved because something's already gone wrong, have been sexually abused, again, because they kind of know what's expected.

They might even know how to keep secrets. They're also looking for kids that have that neurodivergency because, again, their body is that of a more grown adolescent, but their mind is that of a younger child that they can more easily manipulate, right? Again, when you're thinking as a trafficker, you're thinking, this is great. I have a child who looks and kind of can serve the needs of older individuals who want to purchase sex, but also I can have more control because the reality is, is that younger children are easier to control.

And so, you know, I can promise them that I'm their boyfriend and that I, and they'll believe me in a way that an older adolescent might already begin to question, like, that doesn't seem like a healthy relationship, right? They might, they might have this kind of pushback. Maybe they've already had some bad experiences. you know, dating other individuals.

Um, but again, when you're talking about kids who, especially kids and what we find is kids who maybe are struggling in school to make friends or to feel connected or to feel quote unquote normal, right? That's a lot of, I don't feel pretty. I don't feel normal. I don't feel like my friends.

I just want to feel that way. And then you have a trafficker who comes in. and makes all of those promises. I see you're beautiful.

You're amazing. I think you're the best person I've ever met in my life. And they're saying all the right things that that child wants to hear to feel the way that they crave feeling that. And so again, that not only happens in the grooming process, but you think about you know, severing that relationship or helping that child see what is happening to them.

We spend a lot of time working with children to help them understand the manipulation that traffickers do to get these kids to think that they're making their own decisions or think that they're in love and this is the only person that cares for them because that's part of what they do. They want to connect to them emotionally so that when their parents come and they say, I have concerns about this person or, you know, is that the right friend? Are you sure you want to keep hanging out with that person?

They're like, no, no, no. This is the only person who's ever seen me and gotten me and cared about me. And that's the connection they want to make. You know, when I was in the classroom, I was teaching kids with mild intellectual disabilities, and more than one time, I would see a kid do something in a sexual nature, or I had a kid got caught, you know, this is high school, behind the portable, doing something

to, you know, for another kid. And when I asked them point blank, why did you feel the need to do that? They said to me, because they asked me to. That was it.

Yep. And I was just blown away by that whole, you know, then it's back paddle and have these conversations in the classroom. But yeah, when I think of those, this is 20 years ago, and it's still so vivid in my brain of that answer, because they asked me to, why wouldn't I? You know, it was just, oh, I would love to, Can you give us a good news story?

Can you give us, I know you have a thousand, can you give us hope? Can you give us one thing that your organization from start to finish, what happened? What's the hope? And then we'll move into what can we do after listening to you, not just to work with our own kids or work with our kids in the classroom, but how can we help globally in this process?

Absolutely. And so, you know, we have a lot, like you said, we have actually a lot of hopeful stories. We've worked with a lot of kids. We've served, you know, over a thousand in our survivor care program, and many of them have gone on to graduate high school and achieve post-secondary education.

We have kids that are now married and raising their own families and are in stable housing. And I think that the most important message that we send to our kids, and this is true whether they've experienced trafficking or something else, is that what happened to them doesn't define them. And that it doesn't define who they are. It doesn't define what their future holds.

It is something that happened to them. It is not intrinsically who they are. And again, I think that that is something that sometimes adults assume kids understand. But if you've been sexually abused as a young kid, and then you've been trafficked, and then maybe you are in a bad relationship, we have a lot of adolescents who just assume that violence is part of any relationship, right?

Maybe they grew up seeing domestic violence in their house. And so we really, again, need to be explicit in telling kids not all relationships have to be violent. You deserve more. There are relationships that don't have violence in them, and you deserve that.

And so I can give one example, but this example is just indicative of so many of the kids that we work with who are funny, who are very smart. We had a young girl who came to us had been trafficked by multiple individuals. It was a pretty horrific situation where, um, she actually ended up really being sold from one trafficker to another. Um, and really had kind of made that assumption that, well, you know, I've only ever seen violence in, in relationships.

That's what my mother experienced. That's what I experienced early on. That's how it is. And, um, She ended up having her own child and, um, and, and it was not a great relationship.

And, you know, she ended up initially losing custody of that child, but she was then able, once she got pregnant with her second child to say like, this can't happen again. And it really was that child that, that. you know, got her on board to go back, get some education, really kind of shift her life. And now, you know, she got some stable housing and now is doing just an excellent job raising that child, you know, seeking custody of her first child to get that initial child back and really has gotten a number of certificates.

And so now really what she has realized is that I need to not just have a job, I need to end up on a career path path where I can advance and earn more and more money. And one of the ways to do that is to gain certificates, um, and, and different degrees. And so, you know, it's really great to see that because once you can, once you can set that next generation and break that intergenerational cycle of trauma, you know, you're not just impacting that youth, you're impacting their children and their children, and you've broken a cycle that we find so often exists among our youth.

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. I would love to ask, and it just popped into my head. You see this on social media too.

Are there symbols or signs on kids' bodies that we can look for? Is there indications of signs that they can show that they need help non-verbally? Is this a myth or is this actually a thing? There is kind of this one hand signal where they put the thumb on their hand and, you know, put their fingers around it.

I have never seen it. And in all of the kids that we've worked with, none of our youth have ever kind of been identified that way. And so I don't want to say it can happen, but I don't think it's common. Honestly, what happens for us is oftentimes it's an adult that notices something and says, I have concerns and starts asking questions and start saying, you know, I see you're coming in late, you're tired all the time and really kind of doesn't allow that youth to blow it off.

right, keep showing that they care. And then that youth will oftentimes eventually disclose something that really indicates that, you know, trafficking, it's something around along those lines, I will say for our services, youth don't have to disclose they've been trafficked. So that's the other thing for providers to keep in mind, right, we work with high risk, suspected and confirmed youth. And we do that in part, because we don't want disclosure to be a barrier.

We've had youth that have been found in hotel rooms that are known for trafficking with money and other paraphernalia that fully indicate trafficking and that youth will still, you know, say absolutely nothing has happened. You know, I don't want to have a fight with that youth over what has and has not happened. I want that youth to get services. So that's the other thing for parents and educators and service providers to think.

Is it more important that we get the disclosure, or is it more important that we help that child with whatever they need? And I think sometimes we prioritize the disclosure over meeting that kid where they're at and getting their needs. The disclosure may come. It may not come.

But whatever is going to happen at that child's pace. You know, I relate this very much to a children's aid issue in our schools where teachers, any adult, if they're even slightly suspect of any kind of abuse or neglect for a child, they call children's aid. And there's many times when I was running a department and a teacher would come to me with, oh, I'm a little bit, then make the call, then make the call. What if I'm wrong?

Then great, you're wrong. But it's not up to you to decide if you're wrong. And I feel like it's the same with you. Like if you are even slightly questioning it, call the people who can figure it out, who don't assume that it's not happening, and don't assume that, well, if I'm wrong, it's going to be worse, or, you know, like, right?

Am I correct? Call Erin. I mean, absolutely. And again, I think that, you know, there are people that are trained to kind of help identify.

And many of these cases are very, very complex. You know, we have kids where, you know, the landlord comes in at the end of the month, every month and expects, you know, expects some sexual activities and then doesn't charge mom rent. And does mom know what's happening? Mom knows they're getting rent for free.

Mom leaves. Is it, is it an overt trafficking situation of covert? Many of these situations are just very complex and they do take people who kind of specialize and understand the dynamics of these relationships. But I agree too often.

Um, we will talk with kids and they will say, especially in school, So I think that if I look back and I think where, who could have noticed, where could this have stopped? It could have been a teacher or a guidance counselor or somebody in my school that could have asked me more questions. And I think that's so impactful. Erin, this has been, you're just like an angel on the earth doing this work.

It's just amazing. I'm so grateful for what you're doing and for sharing it with us. Can you tell us how to find you, how to work with you and what we can do? What can we do to help you?

Sure, absolutely. So our website is love146.org. And if you go there right on top is actually that banner I was talking about for emails for parents and caregivers to help talk about introduction of technology. I do think one of the things that you can do is educate yourself, educate others, start these conversations early on, share the information with other people in your community.

You know, obviously, we are a small non for profit. And so We always are accepting and grateful for donations. As you think of supporting us and other communities, I really encourage monthly donations because that allows organizations to know that you're in it with them for the long haul and allows them to plan because they can count on those resources every month. So I'm a huge proponent of monthly giving.

I think that really de-stigmatizing, there are a lot of rumors around about what trafficking looks like, that it's kidnapping in a white van. And I think when we hear those rumors or those myths and we know they're not true, pausing and saying, actually, I just listened to a podcast where they said that's not actually what it looks like or how it happens, that helps to not quote unquote normalize, but normalize the conversation so that we can at least talk, you know, what are you doing online? What are you doing in terms of giving your kid a phone?

How are you handling this? So that, you know, we can all kind of be somewhat on the same path and I can understand you know, when are my kids friends going to get phones and get access to these things? So I can either decide that that I'm going to kind of go along with that parallel age, or I need to prep my child for the fact that I'm not going to go along with that. My child is ready for the fact that his friends will get, uh, information or get access to things.

He just won't get at that age. Yeah, and you know what, parents, you're going to get a fight. Be prepared. But you, your job is to keep them safe beyond anything.

That's your job. It's not your job to be their friend. It's not their job to agree with everything they say. And I think sometimes when our kids like us, maybe we're not doing the best job.

Absolutely. My child yelled so hard when he got that green bubble and I looked at him and I go, if you think that you have a mom that cares whether your bubble is blue or green, you think you have a very different mom than you do. Right? Yes.

You know, and sometimes you just have to work through that, you know, and now he will say, he'll come to me and he'll say, I understand why you did it. I was mad. I didn't like it. I still want the iPhone, but I understand why you did it.

Mm-hmm. That's amazing. I love it. Well, Aaron, thank you so very much.

I'm going to put all this information in the show notes, including your website and donations, and please donate to this organization. Oh my goodness. Or one near you. Take your pick.

Aaron, thank you again so much. And thank you for listening to Parenting Team's Advice Redefined for today's complex world. I'm so grateful you joined us today and have a beautiful day. We'll see you next week.

Thank you for listening to another episode. I hope you loved this one as much as I did. And I just wanted to share something with you because, you know, parenting teens is not just about managing these challenges that we talk about on all the episodes. It's also about evolving alongside them.

And I'm Cheryl, and not only the host of this podcast, but I'm also the creator of Insight to Impact, coaching and consulting. And I help you moms of teens reconnect with your true selves so you can lead with purpose, you can parent with clarity, you can create stronger, more meaningful relationships with your kids. Because here's the truth. The transformation starts with you.

Together, we will break free from the stress and overwhelm. We will rediscover your power. We will create the life and the family dynamic you always dreamed of. If you're ready to start this journey, let's do it.

You might just not recognize your life in the next 90 days. It all starts with a call. There's no pitch. There's no pressure.

Just a call to see if I can help. We'll talk about your goals. We'll talk about what's making you feel stuck and what might be getting in your way. and everything you need to connect with me is in the show notes.

Again, I'm Cheryl. Thank you so much for joining me here on Parenting Teens, advice redefined for today's complex world and the creator of Insight to Impact Coaching and Consulting. Have a great day.