#104 "Overcoming School Challenges: A Guide for Parents Seeking a Fresh Start for Their Teens"

Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

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Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World
#104 "Overcoming School Challenges: A Guide for Parents Seeking a Fresh Start for Their Teens"
Jul 04, 2025, Season 1, Episode 104
Cheryl Pankhurst
Episode Summary

 

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PODCAST- “PARENTING TEENS ADVICE REDEFINED FOR TODAY’S WORLD

THE PODCAST

https://open.spotify.com/show/4QwFMJMDDSEXJb451pCHO9?si=9c1a298387c84e13

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYv9FQy1X43wwoYg0zF8zAJw6-nCpHMAk&si=7p-e4UlU2rsG3j_t

Optin-podcast subscriber

https://www.cherylpankhurst.com/teen-minds-redefined-podcast

Join our Podcast Private Facebook Group!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/httpswww.facebook.comgroups1258426648646523

Get a taster of what’s it like to work with me!

MINI-COURSE
 

  • Introduction to the WTF series and its purpose
  • Importance of fresh starts and what they mean for parents and teens
  • Navigating school transitions: tips for parents
  • Understanding the role of teachers, special education departments, and administrators
  • How to effectively communicate your child's needs to the new school
  • The significance of proactive support and regular check-ins
  • Encouragement to join the private Facebook group for further discussion and support
  • Closing thoughts on parenting challenges and successes

Call to Action: Join our private Facebook group to connect with a community of caring parents, share your experiences, and get personalized advice. The link is in the show notes—let's support each other in this journey!

Hashtags: #ParentingTeens #FreshStart #SchoolTransition #TeenSuccess #IEP #SpecialEducation #ParentSupport #WTFSeries #ParentingAdvice #CommunitySupport

Thank you for tuning in! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. See you next week!

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Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World
#104 "Overcoming School Challenges: A Guide for Parents Seeking a Fresh Start for Their Teens"
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Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/16XcaNcGNV/

Connect with Cheryl!

Let’s Chat https://tidycal.com/cherylpankhurst/15-minute-meeting

DIRECT LINK TO COACHING WITH CHERYL

 email : support@cherylpankhurst.com

 

Website  cherylpankhurst.com

SOCIALS:

linkedin.com/in/l. R.cheryl-ann-pankhurst-1b611855

https://www.instagram.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/                       https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst

PODCAST- “PARENTING TEENS ADVICE REDEFINED FOR TODAY’S WORLD

THE PODCAST

https://open.spotify.com/show/4QwFMJMDDSEXJb451pCHO9?si=9c1a298387c84e13

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYv9FQy1X43wwoYg0zF8zAJw6-nCpHMAk&si=7p-e4UlU2rsG3j_t

Optin-podcast subscriber

https://www.cherylpankhurst.com/teen-minds-redefined-podcast

Join our Podcast Private Facebook Group!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/httpswww.facebook.comgroups1258426648646523

Get a taster of what’s it like to work with me!

MINI-COURSE
 

  • Introduction to the WTF series and its purpose
  • Importance of fresh starts and what they mean for parents and teens
  • Navigating school transitions: tips for parents
  • Understanding the role of teachers, special education departments, and administrators
  • How to effectively communicate your child's needs to the new school
  • The significance of proactive support and regular check-ins
  • Encouragement to join the private Facebook group for further discussion and support
  • Closing thoughts on parenting challenges and successes

Call to Action: Join our private Facebook group to connect with a community of caring parents, share your experiences, and get personalized advice. The link is in the show notes—let's support each other in this journey!

Hashtags: #ParentingTeens #FreshStart #SchoolTransition #TeenSuccess #IEP #SpecialEducation #ParentSupport #WTFSeries #ParentingAdvice #CommunitySupport

Thank you for tuning in! Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. See you next week!

#ParentingTeens #FreshStart #SchoolTransition #TeenSuccess #IEP #SpecialEducation

Fresh Starts and Setting Up for Success: Navigating School Transitions for Teens with IEPs

Welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined, the WTF series! In this uncut and unedited episode, we dive into the challenges and opportunities that come with transitioning your teen to a new school. Whether you're considering a fresh start due to a tough year or looking to better support your child with an IEP, this episode is packed with insights and actionable advice. Discover how to arm yourself with the right information, engage with school staff, and set your teen up for success in their new environment. Remember, parenting is not for the faint of heart, but you've got this—and while you've got this, I've got you.

WTF fresh start.mp4
Transcript generated by Transcript LOL
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Speaker 1
00:02 - 00:47
Welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined, the WTF series. That's welcome to Friday, not what you think, although you can put whatever you want meaning to that WTF, because some days I know with parenting, it's like, what the, I get it. I started this second podcast as a spinoff from Parenting Teens Advice Redefined because on Wednesdays when I do the interviews with these experts, they are the star of the show and I want them to share as much of their expertise and information with you, the listener. as possible and just, you know, maybe have some guiding questions.

Speaker 1
00:48 - 01:06
But other than that, they are the star of the show. But as they start talking, of course, I think of my experiences in the high school or my experiences with parents and teens. and I have all this other stuff to add and say. And so, well, why not just have a second episode?

Speaker 1
01:06 - 01:27
So this is what the Friday's for. It's for that. It's for just riffing if I want to riff and it's to, you know, if you are engaging with me, DMing me, sending comments, if you join the Facebook group, I will put the link in the show notes. Then we can have some, it's, it's more of a sanctuary for parents, the private Facebook group.

Speaker 1
01:27 - 02:04
So we have, a community of people who are just honest and caring but feel that they can be vulnerable and ask questions and so when I go into that group and I see that there's questions or topics people are talking about or really concerned about then I can answer them anonymously on the WTF episode. So there's lots of reasons for this and this is why we have started this and I'm, this is the one episode that this series that is uncut and unedited. So I will WT up it up.

Speaker 1
02:05 - 02:36
I can guarantee you, but I really just wanted this to be just me, just you and just the day where we can just talk about whatever. no rules and no filters. And so here we go. So today I really wanted to, I don't know why sometimes I start thinking back to, um, as you may or may not know, I've spent like 28 years in high school and 20 of those years was as a spec head specialist.

Speaker 1
02:37 - 03:22
And what happens there is on the day to day, you know, most of my responsibility was crisis management, kids really not being able to manage self regulate. And so a lot of my job was crisis management. And it just became in a sense, the norm. So kids' behaviors or things that happened in the school would not always stand out to me, until after the fact, now that I have resigned from that position, You know, these students pop into my head and I think about, oh my goodness, like the stories, the stories these

Speaker 1
03:22 - 04:05
kids had, the stories that they told in their lives and in their past and with their parents. I mean, you know, it isn't just this linear path they had, it's this whole history of how they felt growing up and how they handle their own diagnosis and how they learn how to regulate and self-regulate and manage through, you know, what feels like a really conformed system in the public school system, how they manage that. And, you know, so every once in a while, I will come up with this, this kid will pop in my head and the story behind it.

Speaker 1
04:05 - 04:37
And I really wanted to time this around the end of the school year. Because if you've had a really tragic year, and I mean tragic to your own definition, but if you've really had a tough year, your kid has had a tough year through high school, and you felt like, or even coming out of elementary school, grade seven, grade eight, you feel like, oh my God, the whole school was against us. Everybody hates my kid.

Speaker 1
04:37 - 05:02
Nobody understands him. The teachers didn't help. The principles didn't help. And it becomes this one big, it really becomes hard to find any positive when you've had a really hard, challenging experience all year where you just feel like you've come up against no support, no understanding, and no empathy all year.

Speaker 1
05:02 - 05:32
It's hard. And I think sometimes parents go, that's it. I'm switching schools. This is a fresh start, that whole term, fresh start, meaning new environment, new kids, new admin, new teachers, all of it brand new, fresh start, which sounds really great sometimes.

Speaker 1
05:33 - 06:03
But as they say, wherever you go, there you are. And I'm not against fresh starts. But what I have experienced many times is that because parents have had such a tough time with the diagnosis or an IP and feeling like they got no support and nobody understood them, that they're going to take this fresh start, but they're not going to bring information with them.

Speaker 1
06:04 - 06:48
They're just going to put them in the school and see how they do. And this might sound like a really good idea. But can I caution you against it in many, many different ways? First of all, I want to say there are way more caring teachers and administrators and schools and special ed people in a building There are way more good ones than there are ones who either don't understand or are tired or scared or just don't have the mindset of

Speaker 1
06:48 - 07:20
support. They are the absolute minority. So when you have those experiences, can you put that experience in a box and think, okay, I want a fresh start, and I'm moving into a building where they care about my kid, they love my kid, they're here to support me, but we can't just drop them there and hope that they just do well.

Speaker 1
07:20 - 07:59
When they have a history, when they have a reason for a diagnosis, when they have an IP, I think we have to really think about trusting who we're bringing our kids to, and not trusting that our kids are just gonna figure it out, or the teachers are just gonna figure it out, and we'll handle the problems as they come. Because a proactive, supportive approach is so important when we have kids who are struggling in school. So can you take this summer?

Speaker 1
08:00 - 08:40
If you're considering fresh start, I'm not against it. But can you take this summer? to really arm yourself with what information is really important for the new school to have, for the new teacher to have, and for your kid to have. Yes, Johnny, Susie, this is a fresh start, but let's take with us What we learned from our past experience at the other school, what did you not get from that school, that teacher, that special education department, that IEP?

Speaker 1
08:40 - 09:17
What did you not get that you really needed? And can you arm yourself with that kind of information going into the new school? Can you take some time to find out who it is you need to talk to? not just the teachers, you want to meet with the special education department, you want to meet with the administrator who's in charge of the special education department, you want to arm yourself with all the information, what it is they have to offer, what it is you know your

Speaker 1
09:17 - 09:34
kid needs, and then ask point blank, can you deliver this? Is this something you can accommodate? And if it's something they say, of course, we just need to know what they need. And I can bet you will get that answer 99% of the time.

Speaker 1
09:35 - 10:07
But if there's something that the school doesn't have the capacity to accommodate, well then how do you find an outside resource to either accommodate there, Or how do you find out, well, this is actually part of my kid's human right in the school to have this accessibility, to have this accommodation. And if the school itself feels like they don't have the capacity, then where are you going? Then who are you talking to?

Speaker 1
10:07 - 10:34
There's special education facilitators at every board office. Do you go there and find out who is the team that is going to support my kid? And here is the diagnosis, here's the paperwork, here's the IEP that comes from the former school and go through that IEP and say, this worked, this worked, this didn't work. And do that with your kid.

Speaker 1
10:34 - 10:47
If your kid is a teenager, even a grade eight, grade seven, they know what works for them. They know what makes them feel comfortable. And if we are forcing accommodations that don't, they're not cookie cutter. They're not copy and paste for everybody.

Speaker 1
10:47 - 10:57
There's a whole slew of accommodations, but you can choose from them. Which ones are gonna work and which ones make your kid feel very uncomfortable? Doesn't work for me. I don't fit into that.

Speaker 1
10:58 - 11:06
This would work. This would work. Can you meet? There's this whole hierarchy of people.

Speaker 1
11:07 - 11:36
So you meet with the teachers. You meet with the special education specialist. If you are going from one school to another and your son or daughter has an IEP, an identification, there needs to be a transition meeting. And if it's coming from, if you have a lot of animosity to that past school and you don't want them involved, That's a little bit of a problem, because they also have some kind of background to your kid.

Speaker 1
11:36 - 11:57
It doesn't mean that they are going to skew the view of the new school. We don't, we don't do that. We don't do that. You might think, oh, they're going to tell them all this bad stuff they did and all the trouble they got into and they're going to automatically, not like my kid, as soon as they arrive in the building, but that's not what happens.

Speaker 1
11:58 - 12:24
It might feel like it. And I understand that because once you've had one experience and it's your kid and you get, I'm going to say mama bear on them, I get it. I totally understand. But if we want our kids to really have a fresh start, really have a good experience, we do have to arm the new school with as much information as possible.

Speaker 1
12:26 - 12:49
And there could be some personal things that you don't want to share. That's fine. But giving them the whole picture, me sitting on the other end of another school, sending me a kid, and they're telling me all the things they did wrong. Already, my brain is saying, uh-uh, this is not the kid.

Speaker 1
12:49 - 13:05
This is not the kid. I'm already thinking that. So if I'm already thinking that, the other receiving schools are thinking that too. Just because someone is sitting there saying, listen, your hair is brown, your hair is brown, your hair is brown, doesn't mean my hair is brown.

Speaker 1
13:07 - 13:31
And I could sit there and go, OK, OK, OK. And I can take a note. But also what's going through my head is, if all you're doing as a sending school is telling me everything this kid did wrong, that tells me something about you that doesn't tell me anything about the kid. And I'm more than welcome and more than happy to get to know your kid.

Speaker 1
13:33 - 13:45
And so here's the steps. You speak to the teachers that are going to be getting your kid. You speak to the special education department and ask about supports. And if you're happy with those supports, great.

Speaker 1
13:45 - 13:52
Ask for updates. Ask for, can you do me a favor? Like this is a new school. This is brand new for my kid.

Speaker 1
13:53 - 14:23
Do you think we could work out a weekly check-in that you could just send me a quick email that you could just Give me a quick call and let me know how things are going and if they're going great, great. I want to hear that and if things are a little off the rails, can we catch it now? Can we catch it now so that it doesn't snowball into some terrible hardship challenge that you now have to back paddle from? You can ask for these things.

Speaker 1
14:24 - 14:50
You might not have got any communication from the past school. It doesn't mean you're not going to get communication from the new school. So while I understand it can cause some trauma to have a past school that doesn't feel like you have any support, it's really beneficial for you to Have a fresh start in your own head as a parent. We're going to try something new.

Speaker 1
14:51 - 15:02
We're going to have a whole new community of people. We're going to have a whole new community of support. We're going to get everything lined up before you get there in September. If it means going for visits and tours, that's okay.

Speaker 1
15:03 - 15:26
We do that all the time. We have kids come in in august take a tour. Here's your locker. Here's your classroom And we'll do it over and over and over again until your kid feels comfortable things that we do And happy to do it so just All this to say if you've had a really bad experience in a past school Can you really try not to

Speaker 1
15:26 - 15:46
allow it to skew? What your expectations are in a new school? If you're gonna have a fresh start have a fresh start, but have a fresh start with all the information that the new school needs. Otherwise, we are not setting our kids up for success.

Speaker 1
15:46 - 15:58
And isn't that the absolute goal? Set the kids up for success. And trust, just trust us. I know it's hard.

Speaker 1
15:58 - 16:31
And if you've had an incident where you feel like you can't trust, Jump into the Facebook group. Let's talk about it. Let me help you work through that because Unless you're going to homeschool What are the alternatives, you know, we really want to set our kids up for success, and set us up for success. Because there's just nothing more important than the self-esteem, than the feeling of safety, than knowing your kid is happy walking into a building.

Speaker 1
16:31 - 16:43
And being proactive with information is really the way to do that. So again, I'm going to put the Facebook group link in there. Please jump in. Please have some conversations.

Speaker 1
16:43 - 17:02
I'll jump in live to answer your questions in the Facebook group to keep it just our tight little community. That's fine. And remember, I am just so grateful that you are here, that you're listening, that you're taking the time for WTF. And on Wednesdays we drop our Parenting Teens Advice Redefined episode.

Speaker 1
17:03 - 17:14
Listen, take a breath. Parenting is not for the faint of heart, but you've got this. And while you've got this, I've got you. Thank you for listening.

Speaker 1
17:15 - 17:18
Have a great Friday and we'll see you next week.

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