115- "Navigating Teen Grief When Parents Grieve" with Dr. Jerry Woodbridge

When a teen loses a parent, sibling, friend or even a cherished adult, the ripple‑effects can feel overwhelming—for the grieving teen and the parent who is also mourning. In this raw, real, and honest conversation, grief‑advocate Dr. Jerry Woodbridge shares how faith, storytelling, journaling, and intentional listening can help families navigate the chaos of loss.

🔹 What you’ll learn

• Why grief is the proof of love and how it reshapes identity for both teen and parent.
• The hidden signs of grief in pre‑teens and teenagers (withdrawal, panic attacks, risky behavior).
• Powerful tools: guided journals, fictional narratives, and “bridge” analogies that turn sorrow into hope.
• Practical steps for parents to hold space for their own grief and support their teen at the same time.
• How schools and teachers can become safe havens for grieving youth.

Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, educator, or caregiver of a teen, this episode gives you a roadmap to move from “I don’t know what to do” to “I’m here, and we’re healing together.”

💡 Ready to get practical help for your family?
Book a FREE strategy call with Cheryl, creator of Insight to Impact Coaching & Consulting, and discover a 90‑day plan to reclaim calm, confidence, and connection with your teen.

👇 All links & resources are in the show notes above

Jerry Woodbridge - Audio.wav
Transcript generated by Transcript LOL
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Speaker 1
00:02 - 00:25
Welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice, redefined for today's world. We're opening doors to a conversation many parents and educators shy away from, and that is grief. Not intentionally, but just because they don't have the tools. My guest, Dr. Jerry Woodbridge, is a Chrislett award-winning author, grief advocate, and lifelong educator.

Speaker 1
00:25 - 01:06
With over 40 years in the classroom and a powerful personal journey through loss, Dr. Jerry brings wisdom, compassion, and faith to help us understand how to support our teens when they're grieving a friend, a family member, and especially a parent. Jerry writes to help grieving children and their caregivers rediscover hope and healing. She is the author of Joy Overcame Sorrow, a faith-based children's book told from a 10-year-old's point of view. Joy's Journal, a companion guided journal for kids age 9 to 12, and Trading My Sorrows for the Joy of the Lord, a heartfelt exploration of widowhood through a spiritual lens.

Speaker 1
01:06 - 01:27
If you've ever wondered what to say and how to show up or where to begin, this episode is for you. Welcome to the podcast, Jerry, where we are raw, real and honest, and we nail the topics that people need, not just want, but need to hear. So welcome to the show. I'm so glad to have you.

Speaker 1
01:27 - 01:55
Thank you, Cheryl. I appreciate the opportunity to share with your audience. So, you know what, let's just start here with, can you tell a little bit about your story and how you got to where you are and why you're on this mission? Yes, it's been been over 2020 year kind of mission of learning how to take loss, you know, take those experiences learn from them.

Speaker 1
01:58 - 02:37
figure out a way that the Lord wants to redeem them and package them in a way that I can share my message. What I feel especially blessed with right now after having written the books is these opportunities to speak with a lot of different types of audiences. you know, to say, you know, I really had to stop and think how, how can I focus this particular podcast toward parents who may be grading at the same time that they're trying to support their teen that is grading? So I just, I just continue to see that, you know, there's just, there's so much more that we can do.

Speaker 1
02:37 - 02:56
We can talk about, we can, we can share with each other and support each other. Such an such an important topic. And again, you know, when we're in the throes of these things, especially when it's an unexpected throw of these things, I feel like we are in this bubble of I can't get out. Nobody can get in.

Speaker 1
02:56 - 03:10
And I don't know how to help the people around me. And that's why we're focusing. You know, we I've done a show on how parents manage the loss of their child or manage. I don't even know if that's a good word.

Speaker 1
03:11 - 03:33
Navigate. Thank you. Navigate the loss of their child and how to help other parents do it. But as we were talking, it's, you know, I can't even imagine the grief of losing a spouse, a partner, a best friend, and then having children along the ride and figuring out how to navigate that journey.

Speaker 1
03:34 - 04:02
So if we could start with like the hardest place, how do we support our teens in grieving the loss of a parent when we ourselves are grieving the loss? And what does it look like to hold space for both? I think, you know, I think identity is one of those important pieces because when I lost my husband, you know, I chose to marry him. I chose to have children.

Speaker 1
04:02 - 04:14
You know, these were all my choices, but when he suddenly passed away, I had no choice. I suddenly became widow. I suddenly became single mom. So it affects our identity.

Speaker 1
04:15 - 04:36
And it took me a while, you know, because I explored, you know, explored scriptures and said, OK, God, I need to know who I am now in your eyes, because, you know, now now I'm left without my husband. So what are we going to do here? And I think that happens also with our team. I mean, think about it.

Speaker 1
04:37 - 04:56
Teenagers are already trying to figure out what their identity is. Yeah. So, you know, they've been parented and they're the child and now they're trying to figure out who they are. But at the same time, so grief can disrupt it and it can trigger a lot more.

Speaker 1
04:58 - 05:29
grief burst, emotional dysregulation, you know, they're trying to figure out where's my safe place now? Because even if they've only lost one parent or, you know, one person that's true in their life, they begin to worry about, am I going to lose the other one? Yeah. And I know in my situation, my son was 12 and he was having panic attacks that I didn't know about.

Speaker 1
05:31 - 05:54
Oh my gosh. So in his mind, in his 12 year old mind, he was like, I think I'm going to die like my dad. you know, and, you know, that was unbeknownst to me, here I am, I'm trying to grieve, trying to keep things going. And, you know, I was not aware of that until he was about 17, where he could verbalize it.

Speaker 1
05:54 - 06:08
Wow. So the, you know, these are things that, you know, we need to bring up the awareness. Yeah. Because when we are in grief, we feel life is out of control.

Speaker 1
06:10 - 06:52
So, some people actually have panic attacks, those physiological responses, but just being aware that our students do, or that may be a time where they act out or, you know, and we know that teenagers that got a lot of hormones going on, you know. Sorry, I'm not making fun of them, really, I'm not. It explains it. When you've got all these hormones and chemicals going on in your brain and you're changing like you are as a teenager, it is kind of like a chemical brainwash effect.

Speaker 1
06:52 - 07:18
And these are all things that come into play. I mean, grief is triggered by maybe, maybe it was a good memory and grief was triggered. Maybe it was, oh, this is a never will moment. You know, like, like I tell them my story, joy overcame sorrow, where her dad and joy, they were planning to go to the father daughter dance together.

Speaker 1
07:18 - 07:34
So now she's got, you know, she has a never will moment. Um, so she has to figure out, okay, how am I going to adjust this idea? Because I had this beautiful, wonderful fantasy of what we were going to do, and now we can't do it anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1
07:34 - 07:47
So am I going to use that moment and maybe invite my grandfather to be my partner? Yeah. You know, still, still acknowledging that, you know, her dad was a big part of wanting to do that. So.

Speaker 1
07:49 - 08:20
lots of lots of interesting things can can occur. Yeah you know it's funny it just brings to mind my first uh grandparent when I lost my first grandparent in like 1987 she died very suddenly in her sleep and I mean we were close she was my grandma um but it's as soon as you said panic attacks I went into Probably too much. And I was 20 something married.

Speaker 1
08:21 - 08:35
Every time I closed my eyes, I was afraid I was going to die. And I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what it was for so long. I didn't know, I didn't connect the two that it just this sudden death in your sleep.

Speaker 1
08:36 - 08:47
All of a sudden at such a young age, just starting my life, ready to have kids. All of a sudden this became a reality. Like this could happen. You could go to sleep and not wake up.

Speaker 1
08:48 - 09:11
And that's me with my full frontal cortex all developed. And yet now you have a 12 year old who's going through this, and our teens are not fully developed till they're 25. So when you think they shouldn't be processing this information differently, they shouldn't be. So you're right, there's hormones, but then there's also that whole frontal cortex that is not developed.

Speaker 1
09:11 - 09:32
They're still taking all that time. So it must have been, Did he describe it to you after? Like what did he say about it when he could verbalize it? Like he couldn't breathe, you know, like, you know, there was a heaviness on his chest, you know, and the nervousness, the anxiety.

Speaker 1
09:32 - 09:55
So, you know, I know when our teens have that kind of emotion, they're looking for something to fix it. Yeah. because, you know, they don't want to feel abnormal, but they're looking for something to fix it. So what is the tendency for, I'm just going to say, you know, like, like he started smoking weed.

Speaker 1
09:56 - 10:28
Yeah. And it was kind of like, for me, I'm like a teacher, I'm straight, you know, no, we can't do this. I did not understand the link of the anxiety and the panic attack that he was experiencing. You know what I'd like to ask right now in this moment is, if you could go back to that age, 12, when he lost his dad, knowing now, so it's not a judgment because you know now, not when you didn't know then, what questions would you have asked

Speaker 1
10:28 - 10:55
him or what would you have done differently now that you know that he was experiencing that at 12 but couldn't verbalize it? I was trying to be open to ask questions, but it's up to the child how they respond and whether they want to go there or not. But I would probably say be observant. I would watch more carefully.

Speaker 1
10:56 - 11:14
I would try to get to the root of what's really going on because with him thinking he's dying, You know, we have some people that think, well, you know, we're going to die tomorrow, so we'll do whatever we want. Yes. Yes. Whether whether it's risky behavior or not.

Speaker 1
11:15 - 11:22
But I really don't think he was trying to be risky. I think he was trying to calm himself. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1
11:23 - 11:40
And in all that, you are in the midst of your own grief. Exactly. How did you navigate that for yourself? Well, prior to losing my husband, I had gone through pregnancy loss.

Speaker 1
11:40 - 12:07
So I lost like four babies. So I had a little bit of background, a little bit of understanding about grief and how it works and kind of how it has a toll on me. But the first year, I tried to keep everything just normal, as normal as possible, not moving, but busy. we were busy.

Speaker 1
12:07 - 12:24
And then second year, I had to have a cross-country move, new job, new house. That took my focus second year. Third year, grief says, you're not ignoring me anymore. We got some work to do.

Speaker 1
12:25 - 12:45
So I journal. And It was quite interesting. But I was also attending a young widows fellowship group, you know, kind of like a little informal support group, we would meet once a month for lunch. And we would talk.

Speaker 1
12:46 - 13:16
I mean, we were just real, we were authentic, and we would share our pain and our sorrows and Um, that's kind of the idea of where this book came from trading my sorrows for the joy of the lord And these are other widows or widowers not just myself That you know, we had questions, you know for god like I said, who am I are actually my title is mrs. Who? So, yeah, um, it's actually very impactful This is right.

Speaker 1
13:17 - 13:46
It really is Because yeah, and you know, that's definitely, definitely something that's impacting the team because it's kind of like, okay, you know, when you go to school, like, you know, we've had first days of school here in Indiana, and you say, this is my mom or my dad, you know, you're, you're identifying with, with your parents. But when one of them's gone, it's like, it's like that missing piece. So I think that, you know, that really does impact them.

Speaker 1
13:47 - 14:04
The other thing I'd suggest probably for parents is they have to do a better job of listening over trying to fixing. Yes. Because sometimes we don't know what the kid, what our child needs. They need to tell us what they need.

Speaker 1
14:04 - 14:27
Yeah. So, and I probably could have done a better job just kind of listening rather than being bogged down with all my adult things. Okay, I'm just gonna, like, coach you here for a minute and say no. No, we are giving ourselves so much grace for all that loss.

Speaker 1
14:27 - 14:33
Like, no, no, sorry. No worries. I appreciate you doing it. Yes.

Speaker 1
14:33 - 14:59
And, you know, I, I want to ask when you say, Mrs. Who, and now you I don't want to assume, I'm thinking now you're shedding the identity. I mean, you're a widow, but you don't want to be defined as a widow. Right. Is there, and that's a question, is that true?

Speaker 1
15:00 - 15:24
Like, does that, without saying, I don't want to sound like, oh, I'm just getting rid of that whole, like that's always going to be a part of your life, but if you're, Mrs. Who and you have this whole new identity, is there a guilt to shedding the old identity and becoming a new identity? No. Okay.

Speaker 1
15:24 - 15:49
And the reason why is because when I got to that place of learning that the Lord provides and he protects and he keeps the widow's boundaries intact, I was like, oh man, you guys better not be messing with me. Oh, that's so good. So I felt a little bit more empowered, but I had to know that. Yeah.

Speaker 1
15:49 - 16:34
Because our society kind of wants us to move on. You're young enough, you know, I was 42, you know, at the time when I became a widow. And while, yes, yes, I looked towards that, but that's just, Um, I feel it's more empowering to understand that I can give those things, those losses to the Lord and say, redeem them because he can take all that hurt and, and he can make it help someone else. Yeah.

Speaker 1
16:34 - 17:25
And so, so now it's not so much, I'm a widow is more like now I'm I'm part of his plan to help others, not just the widow, but the children, but the teens, grandparents that are raising the grandchildren, all of these different aspects. And some of them I really wasn't too tuned into, or a child who lost their dad before they were born. Right. so um so i'm working on my second book it's going to be about twin loss and that special connection to you know they have grief and yeah you know also the connection with with the other twin and you know how can we support so i continue to see

Speaker 1
17:25 - 18:04
myself writing more um more narrative stories these are obviously fiction stories but they're based on personal experience or things that i've seen as a As an educator or things I've experienced by myself as a mother. And I just think children. Right now, it's the middle grade readers, but, you know, maybe even young adult. They just, they need to see it in narrative form so that they can follow the process from beginning to end, but not necessarily be, I have to be there where they are.

Speaker 1
18:06 - 18:15
But they can see that there is hope. I'm not going to be sad all the time. I'm not going to be mad all the time. I'm not going to be frustrated all the time.

Speaker 1
18:16 - 18:40
Gradually, and it's not time that heals, it's the processing that heals. Yes, that's so good. But gradually, the pain begins to fade. But I also use an illustration of when you have a walking bridge, you know, just a bridge that's suspended between two points.

Speaker 1
18:41 - 18:56
Consider joy is here and sorrow is here. The support of that bridge is love. So why do we grieve? Because we love.

Speaker 1
18:58 - 19:21
Why do we, why are we joyful when somebody has something to celebrate because of our love? So just understanding that why we're feeling the pain that we're feeling is because of love. And I don't think love goes to waste at all. You know, I think, you know, at the end of the book, Joy talks about, I'm not done grieving for my dad.

Speaker 1
19:22 - 19:41
We've gone through the first year, not done grieving for my dad. But I know it's because I love him and I will always love him. So I'll always have a part of that grief, that sorrow. But he also taught her, he gave her the name Joy for a reason.

Speaker 1
19:41 - 20:04
He wants her to live a life of joy so that she can overcome sorrow. And this is where I think the conversation has to become part of our community. you know, whether it's school, church, so that we can help our children navigate through grief, not pretend that they're just resilient. Yes.

Speaker 1
20:05 - 20:32
Yeah. But give them the skills that they need, and give them the support that they need, so that they do not become adults with unresolved grief. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm going to go to the next question, but when you said that, you know, it's all about love, and I lost my dad two and a half years ago, and yeah, time hasn't healed that at all, but So I agree with you.

Speaker 1
20:33 - 20:49
And in my deepest, hardest times, that is the one thing that lifts me up. It's like, I'm only feeling like this because I loved him so deeply. And what a gift. So I totally agree with you there.

Speaker 1
20:50 - 21:10
So I'm going to just skip over to the next. No problem. What, tell us, what are some of the signs that a teen, you know, or even a preteen is grieving even when they aren't talking about it openly? Like how might it show up in different ways that we might totally misinterpret?

Speaker 1
21:13 - 21:34
I think withdrawal can be normal for a teen with or without grief. withdrawal would definitely be one. You know, just I would say lack of communication, you know, being able to connect with them. Sometimes we may not be the best person to always connect.

Speaker 1
21:34 - 21:42
Yeah. But I think we should be on the lookout for someone who could. Yeah. There's always a favorite aunt.

Speaker 1
21:43 - 22:12
There's always a favorite uncle. There's some, there's gotta be, I agree with you, some caring adult. And I think, you know, and I certainly try to empathize that when you are in the throes of it as well, when you're deep in your grief, how can you be that support system? I feel you would need resources like someone else to be that caring support system for your kid and maybe for you on a separate basis as well.

Speaker 1
22:12 - 22:37
Right. And because everybody in the family may be grieving differently. Yeah. You know, sometimes if we act real stoic, like, you know, everything, we're just trying to keep everything normal, blah, blah, blah, you know, and nothing has really changed or been impacted, except that the person's not there, that sends a red flag, which causes some issues with children or

Speaker 1
22:37 - 22:49
teenagers. But at the same time, you know, being real and authentic, I don't think you can go wrong with that. Like, I'm having a bad day. You know, can we just order takeout?

Speaker 1
22:50 - 23:04
Yeah. Well, doesn't that give them permission to, if they see this stoic parent, the stoic surviving parent, and they're really feeling like falling apart, but now they don't want to make you cry. Right. So they're hanging on to it.

Speaker 1
23:04 - 23:18
So yeah, like just being totally authentic makes so much sense right from the start. Like your vulnerability is your vulnerability and you're giving them permission to be vulnerable as well. Exactly. Exactly.

Speaker 1
23:18 - 23:37
I don't know of any other better way to do it or open the space for conversation. Yeah. You know, I know there's times where even my adult son can be not very happy with me. And it's like, all I want to do is give him a hug.

Speaker 1
23:37 - 23:53
And he's like, nope. So got to respect their boundaries, too. Yes, yes, absolutely. So you as the author, I mean, the power of storytelling, how is storytelling such a powerful tool for kids?

Speaker 1
23:56 - 24:19
I think because when they are reading books, especially fiction, this is why I chose fiction because I kind of explored what was out there. And I think Bridge to Terabithia mentions losing a friend. But it wasn't the whole part of the story. So in Joy Overcame Sorrow, it's really the whole part of the story.

Speaker 1
24:19 - 24:55
You meet her when she's carefree. She's riding her bike solo. um through the park with her best friend Bella so you meet you know that carefree wonderful joy and then bad news and then it takes you all the way through that first that first year yeah um of experiences it's like okay how are we going to do things now how are we going to celebrate birthdays how are we going to celebrate uh the holidays the Christmas the you know, I mean, how is my life going to change is basically what Joy is writing about, you know, and how can she process.

Speaker 1
24:56 - 25:14
But she had a very good present. Her name was April, gave her a red journal and said, hey, before we go to the funeral, review this journal so you can write down all the good things people are saying about your dad. Oh, that's beautiful. And that way you have those memories.

Speaker 1
25:15 - 25:34
You know, she's a couple of years older than Joy, but she said, you know, that's what we can do. And then Joy turned it into her own. This is when I have questions, when I, you know, am writing about, you know, my journey or whatever, then I'm going to put it in here. And that journal helped heal.

Speaker 1
25:35 - 25:44
joy. It wasn't so much that she didn't experience pain as she was doing it. It was raw. Yeah.

Speaker 1
25:44 - 25:59
And sometimes it needs to be. And even as adults, I'd say, be raw, be real. Because when you're in grief, it's kind of like having a hundred swarming cornets around your head. Right.

Speaker 1
26:00 - 26:17
So you can grab one of those thoughts, put it on paper, look at it, write about it, say, OK, what can I do about it? Whereas when you're trying to deal with it all, nothing's happening. You're kind of stuck. You're frozen.

Speaker 1
26:19 - 26:36
What an amazing analogy. I mean, I journal every single day, and I have been for years and years. Sometimes I don't even know if it's doing anything, but I know I do it anyway. But as you say that, like, what a phenomenal analogy.

Speaker 1
26:36 - 26:52
Like, you just have all these thoughts. I mean, for me, I know, like, it's a scientific fact. Neurologically, when you get a thought out of your head and onto paper, you release that. But sometimes, you know, people don't feel the release, but it's happening.

Speaker 1
26:53 - 27:12
And so I very much believe in journaling. And so if you are encouraging a young adult, a teenager, a preteen who's never journaled, it's like, oh my God, are you kidding? That's so lame. How would you encourage this?

Speaker 1
27:12 - 27:26
What would you say to them? Well, first of all, this is their journal, their journey. So they can use it however they need to do it. Some will draw.

Speaker 1
27:28 - 27:52
Some will just write bullet points. Some will write out, pull out, you know, sentences like expressions or whatever, but it's theirs. It's like, you know, capture, you know, I guess, let me explain it this way. I know it's not necessarily a teen teen thing, but this is what I've worked with.

Speaker 1
27:52 - 28:18
The journal keeps coming up. So what I did was I took prompts from the book. And so I started asking questions about, okay, what were all the emotions that Joy may have felt when she had heard the bad news of losing her dad? Okay, so they start off with that in the book, and then they have an open-ended prompt, what were all the emotions you felt?

Speaker 1
28:20 - 28:47
So it personalizes it. And it provides kind of like a guide or a structure as a resource. A teenager, they may start with this, but they may say, well, no, I got some ideas from here, but I'm gonna do my own. The important thing is, the thinking about it, the reflecting on it, the acknowledging that they're suffering.

Speaker 1
28:47 - 29:05
I mean, that's the human experience. We all suffer. So how can we work through that? Because like I said, love, our suffering, I think it all can be redeemed and it can all be used to help people.

Speaker 1
29:06 - 29:23
So and at the end of the book, she's asked by her school principal to be part of a special school advisory group that works with the social worker, the social worker, but the school counselor. Yeah. You know, for other children who have lost loved ones. It's like perfect.

Speaker 1
29:23 - 29:28
That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I think.

Speaker 1
29:30 - 30:14
I think we need to give credit where credit is due because our our children are brilliant and they'll find ways now they can find positive or they can find negative ways. And they can learn lessons, but we can't always protect them from everything, but we can be there as support. Yeah, we sure can't fix grief. And I wonder too, about spirit, not everybody resonates with God or Lord, but I do strongly feel that there is a higher power, whether it's universe, God, Lord.

Speaker 1
30:15 - 30:43
To me, it doesn't matter what you call. But how does that, how do we tap into that faith, that spirituality in the throes of it? Like when you just have nothing left, how do we tap into the spirituality? Like the whole, you just, I just have to give this to you because I can't handle it anymore.

Speaker 1
30:43 - 31:29
Like, can you speak to that? Because I feel like even if you don't believe in anything and your life is just like chugging along and things are like pretty copacetic, no major loss, no major. And then all of a sudden something explodes in your life. where where would you turn and well exactly um i think just based on my faith first of all god is a creator therefore the creative part of me you know he definitely feeds that that aspect but because I know he created me.

Speaker 1
31:29 - 31:38
I know he loves me. I know he cares for me. I know he has a place for me. I know there's hope that I'll see my loved one.

Speaker 1
31:38 - 31:57
I have no doubt, absolutely no doubt that I will see my loved ones again in heaven, including the babies that I lost ahead of time. I have no doubt. So with that gives me hope. And with giving me hope, then that is where I can see God redeeming all of it.

Speaker 1
31:57 - 32:09
Mm hmm. Yeah. But I understand kind of where you're coming from. So so where are people going to get their hope from?

Speaker 1
32:10 - 32:30
Yeah. Sometimes they have very close community and family, you know, that are that are part of that process. You know, I, I know my, you know, my son has stepped in to kind of help. Help 1 of his best friends child, you know, just to have.

Speaker 1
32:33 - 32:59
a piece of her dad because they were friends. So there's, I think that's what we have to be able to do is first of all, be authentic, be real, talk about our feelings. I mean, work through them, support each other, and then let's find hope. I mean, why should anyone sit in a room by themselves and not have comfort?

Speaker 1
32:59 - 33:25
Yeah, I love that. almost like hope is synonymous with spirituality or faith or because if someone is sitting here saying, well, I, you know, I lost my wife or I lost my brother, but I don't believe in any of that. You can believe in hope. You can just turn that over and believe in hope if nothing else.

Speaker 1
33:26 - 33:42
I'd also say, you know, as long as we're sitting, sitting saying, oh, poor me, we're stuck. Yes. And we're not growing and we are getting bitter and we are not enjoying life. What's good in that?

Speaker 1
33:44 - 33:56
Yeah. So, um, not chewing anybody out, but maybe get out. start looking around you. Okay, you're sad.

Speaker 1
33:57 - 34:15
Is there somebody else you could comfort that might be sad or might have other issues that you can help out with? So I think we have to get a way out of ourselves. And that's challenging, but we have to know who we are. We have to know what we believe.

Speaker 1
34:16 - 34:39
I don't know how many times I've heard a very similar comment like that. If you are stuck or sad or depressed, go help somebody else. That is the fastest way out of that. you know, volunteer, go give something, go read something to somebody, whatever it is, go shopping for somebody by giving just transfers that stuckness into some motion.

Speaker 1
34:40 - 34:50
And I hear that all the time from all different coaches and all different motivational speakers. It comes up all the time. So true. It is because I think that's our purpose.

Speaker 1
34:51 - 34:53
Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree.

Speaker 1
34:53 - 35:18
I want to talk about, grief kind of not being sort of, it's not a one-time event. It resurfaces and resurfaces. What should parents or even teachers or caregivers understand about that ongoing nature of like grief and adolescence? And especially when we talk about milestones and triggers, like how do we navigate that?

Speaker 1
35:21 - 35:33
Very carefully. Good answer. I've seen so many illustrations here recently. One was a performer.

Speaker 1
35:33 - 35:56
It was a tall, tall stack of steps. And he was in a mall, and below was kind of like a trampoline at the bottom. And this person, he started playing music, you know, kind of violin-y, violin-ish music. And he'd take steps, and then he'd fall, he'd hit the trampoline, he'd bounce back up.

Speaker 1
35:57 - 36:31
So it's one of those things where you may have a bad day and it was just bad grief trigger or whatever, you recover from that, but then there's something else down the road, or there's those moments of feeling lack of control, or the death anniversary comes up. or you're dreading the death anniversary. It's three weeks away, but it's impacting you now more than it will probably that day. Because you're anticipating it.

Speaker 1
36:34 - 36:52
So these are all things that you just have to kind of realize. I was in the middle of a ballroom dance lesson. how to substitute teacher. And we were learning the salsa and, you know, and Arnold was my dance teacher.

Speaker 1
36:53 - 37:07
Well, he was my sub teacher and he was showing me something and I was just having a terrible time. I could not get it. You did not understand what was going on. Because the music usually helps, the patterns usually help, the socialness usually helps me.

Speaker 1
37:08 - 37:24
But because I got so frustrated with that pattern that represented life is out of control again. and I broke down on the dance floor. Yeah. So no rhyme or reason, didn't know it was coming.

Speaker 1
37:24 - 37:29
Yeah. It just happened. It just hit. Wow.

Speaker 1
37:29 - 37:59
So being aware that these things will happen, can happen, you won't know what they will look like because they're unplanned, they're unexpected, Yeah, and talking to our kids about this, like here, here's something to be aware of, you know, so it doesn't surprise the crap out of them when it happens. I think that's that would be a great part of that process for sure. So if we're talking now, you're an educator, I'm an educator.

Speaker 1
38:01 - 38:28
How can educators be equipped to support our kids who have had loss in the classroom? And Like, what would you love to see more schools do in that sense? Well, I know it sounds like I should say, let's do more social emotional learning in the classroom. But actually, I think our teachers are really tapped out.

Speaker 1
38:29 - 39:03
Our teachers need our resources. And that's why I think they need resources like books to say, oh, I've got a kid in my class who's lost a loved one. I had a fifth grade boy who had lost his dad from colon, not colon, but cancer a few years before he came to my room, but he was still dealing with grief. He wanted to write his state speech, you know, about his dad, knowing it was going to be challenging and difficult for him or whatever.

Speaker 1
39:04 - 39:16
But that was an important part of who he was and what he wanted to do is kind of like write a tribute for his dad. Yeah. Now when it came time to do the speech, did he break down? He did.

Speaker 1
39:17 - 39:36
But did it touch every person's heart that listened to that speech? Absolutely. Yeah. So Understanding, I think I share the example in my book that Mrs. Thornsberry pulls Joy aside to talk to her privately.

Speaker 1
39:37 - 40:02
And Joy thinks it's all about her math grades. All worried because she had a dream the night before about her dad being disappointed in her math grades. So Mrs. Thornsberry says, Joy, you're doing hard, hard work right now, grief work. Brief work is more important than long division fractions or anything else.

Speaker 1
40:02 - 40:30
And giving them, recognizing, saying, there's gonna be moments that you are gonna have a hard time. You just need to let me know, and we'll find a safe place for you to go. Whether it's a school counselor or something. But just having the empathy, I think our society does a good job on sympathy, short term, but sympathy and a very good job about empathy.

Speaker 1
40:30 - 40:49
Yeah, that's such a good point. So one more question before we wrap up, and that is for the parent listening that is like, I just can't get it right. I'm doing everything wrong. I'm not doing enough.

Speaker 1
40:51 - 40:58
What can we say to them? What can you say to them in this journey? I'd say, first of all, give yourself grace. You are showing up.

Speaker 1
40:59 - 41:13
You're being there. You're being present. You may not know what you should do next, but you're resourceful as an adult. You can try to find ways.

Speaker 1
41:14 - 41:29
you know, to support your routine. But be present and just let them know, I'm still here. I still love you. Even when they withdraw, even when they start doing things that drive you crazy, you know, just love them.

Speaker 1
41:31 - 41:38
So yeah, they're never looking for the perfect parent. They're just looking for someone who's there. I agree with you there. That was beautiful.

Speaker 1
41:39 - 41:49
Thank you so much, Jerry. Can you tell the listeners where to find you, how to work with you? Where's all these amazing books? Yes, ma'am, I can.

Speaker 1
41:49 - 42:22
Jerrywoodbridge.com is my website. I also have a Jerry L. Woodbridge blog that they can sign up because I'm continuing to produce content. Amazon carries all three books, so because they're kind of published by different things, and you can also get Joy Over Came Sorrow on Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, Walmart, And I have a YouTube channel that has two book trailers.

Speaker 1
42:22 - 42:35
It's called Joy, Ugh, or Came Sorrow. And then one is specifically for the helpers, the people that are part of the community. Maybe they're a good neighbor. Maybe they're a part of a church community or whatever.

Speaker 1
42:35 - 42:43
They come in and help children. We need more people to step up for that. Yeah, I love it. Okay, everything will be in the show notes, I promise.

Speaker 1
42:43 - 43:07
Jerry, thank you for sharing your heart. Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm so grateful for the work you're doing that came out of that loss and keep going. We need more people like you sharing your story and helping our kids. So thank you and thank you for listening to Parenting Teens Advice Redefined and we will see you next time.

Speaker 1
43:10 - 43:30
Thank you for listening to another episode. I hope you loved this one as much as I did. And I just wanted to share something with you because, you know, parenting teens is not just about managing these challenges that we talk about on all the episodes. It's also about evolving alongside them.

Speaker 1
43:31 - 43:55
And I'm Cheryl and not only the host of this podcast, but I'm also the creator of Insight to Impact Coaching and Consulting. And I help you moms of teens reconnect with your true selves so you can lead with purpose, you can parent with clarity, you can create stronger, more meaningful relationships with your kids. Because here's the truth. The transformation starts with you.

Speaker 1
43:56 - 44:09
Together, we will break free from the stress and overwhelm. We will rediscover your power. We will create the life and the family dynamic you always dreamed of. If you're ready to start this journey, let's do it.

Speaker 1
44:10 - 44:20
You might just not recognize your life in the next 90 days. It all starts with a call. There's no pitch. There's no pressure, just a call to see if I can help.

Speaker 1
44:21 - 44:31
We'll talk about your goals. We'll talk about what's making you feel stuck and what might be getting in your way. And everything you need to connect with me is in the show notes. Again, I'm Cheryl.

Speaker 1
44:31 - 44:43
Thank you so much for joining me here on Parenting Teens, advice redefined for today's complex world and the creator of Insight to Impact Coaching and Consulting. Have a great day.