~126~"From Exhausted to Calm: Secrets Every Parent of Teens Should Know" with Brett Alrich

#ParentingTeens #Ayurveda #Breathwork #MindfulParenting #SelfCare #StressRelief 

Feeling stretched thin, stuck in “fight‑or‑flight,” and wondering how to model calm for your teen? In this episode Cheryl sits down with Brett Aldrich to demystify Ayurveda and breathwork—simple, science‑backed tools that help parents regulate, restore, and align their nervous system.

Brett shares:

• How a daughter’s severe allergies sparked his journey into Ayurveda.
• The five elements (fire, earth, water, air, ether) and how knowing your personal “elemental makeup” guides daily choices.
• Quick, 2‑minute breathing practices that can be done while the kids are at school, during a car ride, or in the middle of a stressful conversation.
• Why slowing down isn’t lazy—it’s the foundation for healthy emotional modeling for teens.
• Real‑world tips for co‑regulation with your children (the “pause‑breathe‑respond” loop).

Whether you’re a mom who feels her stress is the new normal or a dad who wants to break generational cycles of overwhelm, this conversation offers a practical, step‑by‑step roadmap to bring calm into the house without adding another to‑do list.

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Speaker 1
00:01 - 00:30
Welcome to another episode of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined. You know, Parenting Teens often pulls us in every direction, emotionally, mentally, and physically. And while we're trying to stay grounded, while supporting these incredible humans, as they grow, they stretch, and they sometimes struggle, as do we. But if the way to better support our kids isn't about doing more, it's about being more.

Speaker 1
00:30 - 01:00
It's about being more calm, more centered, and in alignment with ourselves. And today's guest is someone who embodies that philosophy. I am sitting down with Brett Aldrich, Ayurvedic counselor, breathwork practitioner, and founder of Seed the Spirit in Portland, Maine. Brett blends decades of service from working with trauma survivors and with children with developmental needs to now guiding through Ayurvedic breathwork and yoga to find lasting emotional and spiritual balance.

Speaker 1
01:00 - 01:28
We are diving into how Ayurvedic wisdom and breath work can help parents regulate, restore, and align, not just for our own wellbeing, but to model peace and presence for our teens. So if you are feeling stretched, thin, reactive, or just out of sync lately, this conversation is going to offer you a different way home. Welcome, Brett. Thank you for being on my show.

Speaker 1
01:28 - 01:34
I'm so excited. Oh, thank you, Cheryl. Thank you for having me. I am also very excited to start talking about all of this.

Speaker 1
01:34 - 01:39
It's so great. Thank you for having me. Well, and it's important work. So let's start with your story, Brett.

Speaker 1
01:39 - 02:02
Like, why now? What's the mission? What is the hope for you and for who's working with you? Sure, um, you know, I have also had a long Many chapters of of you know beginning to now right so Um, I began my practices in yoga a long time ago when my daughter was born.

Speaker 1
02:02 - 02:27
Um, you know, I was in a position where I was granted the ability to stay home full time. And during that time, I came to the realization there was a lot I needed to learn that I was unknowing to. And what started was my daughter had severe allergies to certain foods. And that really just tipped it off to the whole process.

Speaker 1
02:28 - 03:03
When I began work, I was working in victim services, did a lot of social work, worked in shelter work. It was a lot of deep challenging work and I was at a point where I understood that I needed to support myself through it as well. And I wasn't sure how to. So along that, on that process or in that process of, you know, understanding what my daughter needed and trying to figure out what to do when I went back to work myself, I was kind of like, I don't really know what to do.

Speaker 1
03:03 - 03:16
I really had no idea. The way I got to here was just really by accident, I thought. Maybe it was accident, maybe it wasn't. There could be something else going on, of course.

Speaker 1
03:16 - 03:52
There's always other things going on that we are unaware of, or I was, that the Ayurvedic practices that I started to learn, the classes that I was taking, at first I thought I was going to share with others to start. But really what it was was to support me through the process of being a mother, being a human being, and knowing that there were so many other ways to support my children and myself with this time of being a parent and now that they're two of them are adults so it's been such a long process. and going through challenging moments.

Speaker 1
03:52 - 04:25
And I've had some real challenging moments in my own life that I've had to come back from. And with this understanding with Ayurveda and breath work, I was able to utilize those tools to get to the other side and thrive. And that was the biggest piece for me is not just going through something, You know, we sometimes don't have a choice in, but then also knowing, and that was the biggest piece for me was knowing that I could get better every day that went by after going through something.

Speaker 1
04:25 - 05:11
And that was the biggest piece for me was just knowing that I could get better and having the tools to use to continue to for better health for myself and to show that it's possible for my children as well. Yeah, I think it's so important and I, you know, I've been doing yoga for, oh my gosh, I'm going to say 25 years, and deep into hot yoga for the last at least 10. And, you know, you think you start off. Thinking this is just exercise or it's just But it becomes so much more and I find that This deep work that i've been doing a lot of you know, the meditation and all of that Stuff i've been doing for a long time and it's not like You know

Speaker 1
05:11 - 05:45
you go To the gym and you lift all these weights and you start to see Immediate results almost you see these muscles starting to build But it's such a, I don't know about you, but I found there's so many nuances to it, whereas I would come through a challenging situation and maybe days later go, I handled that, like I'm out of it. so much more quickly than I thought I would ever be before. And it was so, it took me a while to figure out that that was the tie.

Speaker 1
05:45 - 06:11
It's this work that allowed me to go, okay, this does not define me, this is not my story, this is not, you know, friends of mine all the time will hear me say, But that's your story, but that's your story when they're, you know upset about something or stress, but that's your story What story are you telling yourself? They hear me say it all the time. Probably sick of it But my point is this work is so worth it.

Speaker 1
06:11 - 06:28
And yet I think sometimes, you know, we get up there and we say, okay, I'm going to do this. I'm going to meditate for a couple of days and I'm going to go through the most challenging situation and nothing happened. I still suck. So I think knowing that there are nuances to this, that it takes time.

Speaker 1
06:28 - 06:50
And so I want to start off with really, you know, sometimes we get into these things and we hear words like Ayurveda, And if moms have never heard the word, no idea what the hell you're talking about. Let's bring it right back to, I've never heard this term. Can you please explain to me what is Ayurveda? What is breath work?

Speaker 1
06:50 - 07:06
Like what actually it is for someone who's never heard it before? Sure. Ayurveda, we always say that it is the study of life. Pretty much that's it.

Speaker 1
07:08 - 07:33
I can say from my own personal experience, where we could be living anywhere. It doesn't necessarily have to be one particular country or place. We could be living anywhere, and everything matters. So everything we do does affect us, or everything we experience does affect us, or everything we do can affect ourselves or others around us, too, as well.

Speaker 1
07:34 - 08:13
And pretty much at this point, it's understanding and studying yourself so well that you know what you're made out of. You know, we have physical characteristics, we have certain tendencies, emotional tendencies, tendencies emotionally, we have a mindset sometimes, we have understandings of the world around us, and all of them are connected to, interestingly enough, to elements. You know, there's fire, there's earth, there's water, there's air, and then there's ether. And all of those five elements are connected to us.

Speaker 1
08:13 - 08:40
We are all made out of that. We're all made out of it, and everything is made out of it, basically, at this point. And there's just different combinations of all of them. with each experience or even what we eat what what we drink for water or any kind of thing we drink or consume or imbibe so in our actions are similar to, and they all have characteristics, and so what it is is trying and making attempts to balance all

Speaker 1
08:40 - 09:05
of those to feel. Sattvic or peaceful or at peace within. Okay, may not necessarily be peace outside. However, we take these practices and to have peace within and also to have this kind of lifestyle to find a way to have an internal balance where body can heal from anything, you know, physical that might be going on or mental or emotional.

Speaker 1
09:06 - 09:23
And so we take this understanding, so we're all made out of it, right? So I'll just use myself as an example. I have maybe more fire and water in me, right? So there's characteristics that we have that I pretty much have studied, so I understand.

Speaker 1
09:23 - 09:37
So once you understand what you're made out of, what you do is you make choices for yourself that might balance that out. So you might choose opposite. than yourself. So to balance out on the inside.

Speaker 1
09:38 - 10:01
So what they say is similar things increases, right? So like increases like, but then if you're one thing, if you do the opposite, it starts to balance. So if I have a lot of fire and water in me, then I'll probably choose air, something airy, something to eat or something cooler. Maybe two to consume or to do to balance myself on the inside.

Speaker 1
10:02 - 10:30
So if I have a lot of fire and I eat a lot of spicy food, that could create an imbalance inside my body. So what I do is I choose cooler things things to cool out my body things to even me out Things like that. So it's basically Making choices That do balance you on the inside by knowing yourself as well That makes interesting. It totally yeah, as you say that i've never heard it described like that at all.

Speaker 1
10:30 - 10:51
So if I were if you were to say Well, how do I know what I am? So for me, like being anywhere near water is just an instant. Like I'm just so calm and it's my place to go. So would that mean that that is something like I should be doing something different to balance me out?

Speaker 1
10:51 - 10:58
And what would that be? It all depends, right? So it depends on you and your day. So every day is different, right?

Speaker 1
10:58 - 11:06
You have your own makeup, but then every day is different. The elements are different as well. So it's also seasonal. So every season has its own.

Speaker 1
11:06 - 11:40
elements and Everything has its own element. So what it is is just understanding the characters of these elements and how they work together And then making a decision for yourself what you need for today or what you'll need for tomorrow. So yes water is a wonderful thing stepping sitting by a bubbling brook or being by the ocean if you can or even just putting your hands in water It's also a great activity or something for you in order to calm yourself down or balance you out. And it's also about what you eat too as well.

Speaker 1
11:40 - 12:12
What we eat has different elements. So we choose something that balances us out that, you know, pulls us down or ignites us as well. If we need something to wake us up, we'll have something that's invigorating and vibrant to have us propel ourselves forward in some instances. So it is basically when you get to know yourself and you know yourself well, or the elements around you, over time you start to figure out what works best for you.

Speaker 1
12:13 - 12:41
in the day And sometimes it's not always meditation, but also a day of like, all right, you wake up in the morning You're like, all right. Where do I need today? and We can look at it scientifically through the elements, but also over time you just start to understand that this is all Part of the world we're part of you Yeah So that's kind of how it operates, but there's so much more but that is a piece piece of it.

Speaker 1
12:41 - 13:07
Yeah, it's really interesting that you say that because and again, you know, my first my first when I'm feeling overwhelmed. My first thing is to go to water and so to balance myself. So I've also heard grounding like you stand in the dirt and you just like let and I have gone to that and it's so uncomfortable for me. And yet I do feel the effect.

Speaker 1
13:07 - 13:22
So I'm wondering if that's the same thing. It's kind of balancing out, not just relying on the water, but now I'm relying on something else to balance myself out. And I can feel the energy of the earth. Like it's so strange to me, but I don't, it's not an automatic thing.

Speaker 1
13:22 - 13:35
I have to think about it, but that makes sense to balance myself out. That's really, that's kind of a side note, but really interesting that you're saying that. I didn't know that. All right, so let's dive into this practice.

Speaker 1
13:36 - 14:02
So I've got, you know, we talk about fight or flight all the time in these conversations. And, you know, we're now talking to the mom who's like, I am up here 10 out of 10 stress all freaking day that I don't even know because it's so familiar. to be in fight or flight. Can we talk to that mom and say, okay, what do you know?

Speaker 1
14:02 - 14:15
Like you tell me what you would say to a mom who's like, I don't even know what it feels like to calm down. This is my life 10 out of 10, 24 seven. It's what's familiar. It's almost my safety zone because it's what's familiar.

Speaker 1
14:16 - 14:45
What do we say to that mom? Well, internally what I would feel is that there's obviously so much happening going on underneath that, you know, there's always the question that sometimes I dive into, okay, so why is this the go-to feeling, or why is this the go-to energy or feel? Um, what are the circumstances at hand as well? Um, you know some circumstances or some situations you can't always change Uh, so it really is one thing at a time.

Speaker 1
14:45 - 15:05
It's so slow And um part of it too was I always felt this way as well for myself. I can relate to that I can totally relate to that. And I do recall a long time ago when they said, part of your yoga practice or yoga practice is shavasana and just lie down for 20 minutes. I was like, what?

Speaker 1
15:05 - 15:09
How could I do that? That's impossible. There's just no way. And why would I?

Speaker 1
15:09 - 15:15
That just doesn't make any sense to me. This is a senseless decision. I don't get this. I don't want to do this.

Speaker 1
15:15 - 15:33
I really did feel that way. Yeah, it just didn't make sense in my mind would be racing i'd be like thinking of like months ahead and so hard such a challenging thing to do um, and really what it is Is this is that some of us and I can relate to are afraid to slow down. Like what am I like?

Speaker 1
15:34 - 15:49
do I like Who am I if I slow down? What am I if I slow down? Who am I really if I slow down? What am I worth here if I'm not productive, if I'm not doing something?

Speaker 1
15:50 - 16:10
And that was such a challenge for me, slowing down and still being, oh, I'm still like, So valuable, even though I'm sitting down for 20 minutes. And so the understanding is one thing at a time. I can't tell you, oh, change everything all at once. That would actually create more dysfunction and difficulty for so many.

Speaker 1
16:11 - 16:36
And it really is just what I do is, and what a lot of us do, is we say, just try one thing. Just try one little thing that you know you can do, two minutes, five minutes, that will place you in a mindset of just a moment of, even if your mind is busy, that's okay. Like a lot of it is like just accepting who you really are. Like that's totally great.

Speaker 1
16:36 - 16:48
Like if that's who you are, I love you, it's cool, do it. Be you all the time. But there is that moment of like, you know, is it affecting your health? And that's the biggest piece is like, is this affecting your health long term?

Speaker 1
16:48 - 16:59
And if it is, then obviously there's something we got to start trying to do. Yeah, that's really what we focus on. And it really is is they have a list already. We already have a list of to do's.

Speaker 1
17:00 - 17:19
So it's not necessarily adding to the to do. It's just asking for space. And that's usually what I'd say first. Is there a space where you can just have space of nothing and it may drive you a little bit your mind may race, but like two minutes, two minutes of space.

Speaker 1
17:20 - 17:59
And over time, I have found that momentum of giving space and time of either nothing or reflection, or even leafing through a magazine, not even reading it, just leafing through something. So you're physically moving, but you're still trying to kind of let go of that need to do. Over time, it becomes a real emotional moment where like, wow, I'm actually like, Overdone or oh, i'm actually like nervous about this or i'm actually like upset about something or i'm grieving something that I was avoiding, you know, there is a lot of emotion involved With this process as well.

Speaker 1
17:59 - 18:37
Um and In a moment too and what I try to do also as well as remind people to Consume foods where their body feels safe So knowing when you're gonna drink your water, your body knows when it's gonna sleep, your body knows when it's going to eat. It's so biological and simple and primitive sometimes for some, but it really is knowing when you're going to be safe and when you're gonna be taken care of. So your body feels safe on the inside. So sometimes the mind can start to relax too as well and calm down.

Speaker 1
18:37 - 18:48
So sometimes your body just needs to know when it's gonna be nourished. And that's a big piece. It's not necessarily like, do this, don't do that. It's just remind yourself to care for your body so it feels safe.

Speaker 1
18:49 - 19:14
So then the mind can start to let go and kind of be like, okay, I'm going to be fine for 20 minutes. And that's kind of what we try to reflect on. We can certainly go into the, as they say, guides or guidelines of Ayurveda and talk about the elements and talk about recipes and food. But you're right, sometimes 100%, sometimes that's way, that's a lot, that's a lot of information.

Speaker 1
19:14 - 19:31
But part of this process is allowing a person to get into a rhythm. where their body feels safe, that over time, that other stuff can start to unfold. And this is a very long process. You know, I've been doing this for 20, 20 years.

Speaker 1
19:33 - 19:43
And I myself too, also reflecting going, gosh, my, I'm like, I need to slow down here. What's going on here? We can all be into that. We can all dive back into old habits.

Speaker 1
19:43 - 20:07
It's so easy. Yeah. Um, yeah and the art of so let's talk about then the art of noticing When we are and when we aren't and and how how do we notice and then what do we do when we notice? Yeah, um Sometimes I can certainly I can only really speak from personal experience.

Speaker 1
20:07 - 20:23
Honestly is that the noticing of like Sometimes for me or for many it's a physical reaction go. I've got like a little headache You know, I'm feeling a little thirsty. I'm having a little bit of a harder time falling asleep tonight. I'm waking up at a certain time of day.

Speaker 1
20:23 - 20:55
For me, that's the most obvious is noticing, oh, you know, like, you know, like my skin's a little dry, like even little things like that, nothing really big, just like the smallest little like difference. And then if you can notice that, that's just little bits. If you can notice that, then you go, OK, so what can I do in what's been going on these last couple of weeks? Maybe I've forgotten about myself, that I've let myself be at the back of the list of to-dos, right?

Speaker 1
20:55 - 21:11
That's the last thing on the list that we ever jump to. And how can I get myself at the front? And what can I do to get myself at the front of this list, on the top of the list, not the bottom? And yeah, that's the big challenge for all of us, include all of us, me too, absolutely.

Speaker 1
21:12 - 21:29
And I'm right now just dragging in the moms of teens here as you say that, and how we say this to ourselves. And I would love to say, say it out loud. you know, to your kid when they're coming home from school, it's like, oh, you know what? I noticed this today.

Speaker 1
21:29 - 21:54
And I feel like, you know, I know you need help with your homework or a ride to the mall, but I just need five minutes. I just need to catch myself because you're giving yourself permission, but look what you're doing for your kids. Like you're just day after day after day, giving them the permission to say, you know what, I kind of noticed that too. I was a little snappy with my friend or I was, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1
21:54 - 22:16
And I noticed that too. And just, you know, we don't, our kids don't listen to us like crap, but they watch everything we do. And I feel like if we give them that permission now, instead of, you know, we're like, I don't know, I'm 60. I'm just, I'm like maybe 10 years into this stuff.

Speaker 1
22:16 - 22:36
and really noticing, but do I wish I had started talking about this when I was 25? Damn right I did. When my kids were at home, when I hear my daughter and my son struggle now, they wouldn't be struggling if I had learned this stuff earlier. And it's not a blame game by any means.

Speaker 1
22:37 - 23:08
Notice it and say that don't keep this stuff to yourself, you know I used to wake up so early so the kids didn't see me journaling and metal meditating and doing all my stuff like why? Like they need to see this because this is you know, because then they would see the transformation Oh, man, I left my dishes in the sink and mom didn't act like world war three just happened like a little reactive So I think it's really important to say these things out loud to your kids and do these things out loud to your kids. Let them see it.

Speaker 1
23:11 - 23:25
Absolutely. Can you talk about breath work? And what that would look like and even like the most? Basic basic basic, you know, I think people are like I breathe all the time the hall.

Speaker 1
23:25 - 23:36
I don't need to know how to breathe But you know and again people are you know, i've got moms who are just listening to this knowing. Okay I know I know how to breathe. Let's move on. Hold on a minute.

Speaker 1
23:36 - 23:53
Listen to this verse Mm-hmm. Sure. Um I can speak for my children's experience too that they're just They their observations of me are funny. They reflect they think i'm hysterical They think I take I do take it lightly with them.

Speaker 1
23:53 - 24:13
I'm, not too serious with them about that I don't try to force them to do it either, you know, absolutely like their way of You know one of my children they left they're like their acts of rebellion is to you know, eat junk food or whatever You know what? I mean? But like, you know, but, you know, we've been through some moments where there have been some stressful moments for us.

Speaker 1
24:13 - 24:55
And, you know, like all of us, like everyone, and they joke around, they're like, hang on a second, mom's like taking a second to take a breath. You know, like just that moment where, you know, hold on a second, I need to take a few breaths with this one. And really is, breathing is a connection from the heart to the mind. And it gives you that pause and it nourishes the mind And this is the thing that I have noticed for myself that it provides nourishment to the body provides nourishment to the mind And I can certainly say that I have found myself When before I started these practices

Speaker 1
24:55 - 25:10
the reason why of course I learned to do these things because I wasn't doing them for myself Right. So, you know, um How many times did I catch myself holding my breath? Literally, like, it's like, how long was I holding my breath for there? Like, that's like, that's big.

Speaker 1
25:11 - 25:46
And maybe I'm just making up for lost time. So consciously being aware of not just the fact that I breathe, but how I'm breathing in the moment. And a lot of us, many of us, including myself, we're breathing, however, we have a whole diaphragm. full diaphragmatic breath which is basically from the hip points all the way up to your clavicle so like that's a huge part of our body that also protects and surrounds all of our organs and our lungs and our heart and it just and the breath if you can

Speaker 1
25:46 - 26:19
take a full breath It takes care of your body. It massages the organs, it massages the heart, and then provides the nourishment it needs for the mind and the brain in order to be able to function at optimal level, right? So we're able to take a moment and reflect on how am I going to deal with this situation? How am I gonna support myself when something happens that's unexpected, as the term used to say, that was unexpected.

Speaker 1
26:19 - 26:39
You know, those unexpected moments. And just saying that also, like our children are starting to learn this too in our elementary schools. You know, I do remember back when I worked in education a while back that we were starting to learn this. And I was working there too as well, that the breath is something.

Speaker 1
26:39 - 27:02
If we're more conscious and aware of it, we're coming to understand that we will utilize it to our benefit more when we are more conscious and aware of the breath. And knowing that if we verbalize this with our children, that they're aware that mom just needs to take a pause before we act. Pause, then act. and pause, breathe, and maybe don't act at all.

Speaker 1
27:03 - 27:24
And there are moments in our lives where taking action or taking a longer pause is probably more useful than saying or doing anything at all in the moment yet. And that is also something I learned with my own kids. They've said this to me, and I've been learning this too, is that I don't want you to do anything. I just want you to hear what I'm saying.

Speaker 1
27:26 - 27:37
One is a big piece too. I'm like, okay, so I'm going to breathe through this while you're telling me what you're saying because I'm going to need to breathe through this. Are those moments where like, I don't want you to do anything. I just want you to hear me.

Speaker 1
27:38 - 28:13
And then you breathe and you breathe because when you're breathing, and this is something that I learned along the way too, is that the person you're working with or your child, they start to breathe with you. We want to co-regulate and that is a big piece too is that we call it something else with our breath work training, but like the co-regulation is helpful when you're breathing and you're regulating yourself and you're calming yourself down as you're listening. We were able to do the same with you. So conversations become conversations.

Speaker 1
28:14 - 28:21
and reflection. And that is a big piece. It's like when I would hold my breath, I'd be like, I don't like this. And I'm going to hold my breath through this.

Speaker 1
28:22 - 28:49
But then really what's important is that like or dislike, it's just information that we're trying to work through together. And so that is a big piece on breathwork for me when it comes to being with my children and having conversation. And just in life in general, there are these moments we just are not paying attention to how we're breathing, we're not nourishing ourselves. And that is, and it's free.

Speaker 1
28:49 - 29:02
And that's the wonderful thing. I think that's the most important thing too, is being a parent, is that this sort of thing, once you become aware of it, You can do it every single day. And you can regulate your system. And the system in your body can feel safe.

Speaker 1
29:02 - 29:33
So when you say something or feel you need to take action, it's of sound mind and reflection. And yeah, and just basically take care of yourself along the way. Lack of oxygen creates so many issues. And we find that If we are able to take a full diaphragmatic breath versus just in the chest or just in the belly, you're using the whole diaphragm, you're able to really take care of yourself.

Speaker 1
29:34 - 29:41
Can you walk right through that? If somebody's listening saying, I don't even know what you're talking about. What do you mean diaphragmatic breath? Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1
29:41 - 30:03
So when you, I'm just gonna adjust my seat here so I can do it while I'm saying. So we have, the diaphragm goes from like your hip point. So if you kind of place your fingertips right at the hip points, if you can go there or just kind of in the vicinity or the area, okay, that's your hip points. And then your clavicle is this space right at the collar space here.

Speaker 1
30:03 - 30:19
And the diaphragm also goes to the front of the chest, but also goes to your back. So it's a 360 degrees. I want to say like oval or we're going to say it's like an oval shape. And when you take a deep breath, you start from the belly.

Speaker 1
30:22 - 31:01
You go up towards the chest, all the way up to the clavicle, and it goes outward to the front and to the back. And then on the exhale, out of the mouth, and try to take a full exhale. So it's pretty big, so you can go from, take a deep inhale from the belly, up all the way up to the chest, chest, chest, chest, then up to the clavicle, and then an exhale. That's just instant, like it's instant.

Speaker 1
31:01 - 31:20
I think a lot of us don't know that's why I really wanted to do that step by step with you because you know. You know, and there's so many, you know, I've gone on YouTube breathwork sessions and some of them are just out of control for me. I can't, I can't, I can't. It depends on the practice.

Speaker 1
31:20 - 31:33
Yeah, it depends on the practice on what kind it is. You know, there's so many different ways to do this, right? There's so many different ways to do this. There's the, you know, the quick best streak of breath.

Speaker 1
31:33 - 31:51
There's the yogic breathing. There's the controlled breathing. And then this one, I can teach so many ways, right? However, this one particular way, which is just simply noticing and feeling that space in the diaphragm and opening up the body a little bit.

Speaker 1
31:52 - 32:20
And knowing how expansive our body really is and how big our body can become by taking a full breath that way is just, again, providing space. Right, hiding the internal space. Yes, and there's some breathwork sessions you see people really having like these big huge releases and things like that. And then there's some people that are, it looks like they're not doing anything and you're just kind of like, what's going on there?

Speaker 1
32:20 - 32:57
But it's both the same but different, right? And again, this is where I feel, now I'm gonna bring this back, but this is where I feel Ayurveda is also helpful and the yoga practice is also helpful because again, the coin term is it all depends on what you need in the moment. So for example, if you're feeling really low in energy, And you're just like, oh, I just can't get out of my own way. There are techniques of breathing you can use in order to kind of give you a little bit more energy to get the oxygen to your periphery, to your brain, to your hands, things like that.

Speaker 1
32:58 - 33:16
And then there's some where you're feeling, oh, I'm super like... Thinking too quickly. I'm like feeling anxious. There are techniques in order to bring yourself down to center And to slow your thinking down and your mind down as well The end the nose out of the mouth is also very helpful.

Speaker 1
33:16 - 33:39
There's so many ways, right? So, um That's kind of what it is is just knowing in the moment What you might need at that time. Yeah however, my go-to really is just the Trying to find my diaphragm and making sure that I am taking care of my body and nourishing it in that way. Yeah.

Speaker 1
33:39 - 33:57
What's helpful for me in that diaphragm is I visualize it. I visualize the air going like almost like white air or whatever it is. And then it helps me kind of feel like, okay, it's going here, it's going here, it's going here, it's, you know, or starting here and going here, like I visualize that whole thing. It makes it easier for me.

Speaker 1
33:57 - 34:15
And the fact that there's all these different ways, don't do the Sheryl route where you just jump into YouTube and go, I can never do breath work. I can't do whatever it is they're doing. It makes me thirsty. It makes me, I don't, like the air in my nose is cold.

Speaker 1
34:15 - 34:35
It was so uncomfortable. So, you know, and I'm sure those are techniques to do once you've done, you know, 10 steps before that, but me, I'm jumping into, oh, you know, the Olympics of breath work and I can't do it. So I'm writing it off. So I'm glad we're having this conversation because it is very manageable and it is very doable.

Speaker 1
34:36 - 35:19
And you're right, like a little, when you just take these one steps at a time, one step at a time, I find like sometimes, I don't know. We get, I don't know, women as moms, as parents, whatever, we get so overwhelmed that we dive into everything at once and then nothing works. And then you're just more frustrated because, well, they said this work and yoga doesn't work and breathing doesn't work, but we dive into like the middle of everything without really finding the coaches, the professionals who know how to start us off and move us forward instead of, you know, getting frustrated and angry with ourselves because, well, I can't do any of this.

Speaker 1
35:19 - 35:26
I'm just going to stay in fight or flight for the rest of my life. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you know, it's so easy.

Speaker 1
35:27 - 35:43
You know, this is how I see it. And I actually had this funny conversation yesterday is that I would see I would do this myself. You know, I was like, oh, gosh, I don't like this. And I was so impatient with my process and my impatience with my process.

Speaker 1
35:43 - 36:04
I'd be like, I wanted to do more and more and more and more. And it really can create more sickness or dysfunction, I dare I say, or just irritability or discomfort. And working with someone that says, slow down, hang on a second. This is I'm going to show you, but just do this one thing again, just do this one thing.

Speaker 1
36:05 - 36:24
And don't look at the outcome, immediate outcome. You know, you'll feel some difference. However, if you can do this consistency, consistent over time, you'll forget you're doing it. And this is the thing that I think is really wonderful is, you know, I've worked with friends and family too.

Speaker 1
36:25 - 36:37
They'll be like, oh, I won't do that, I don't wanna do that. And you're like, okay. However, they heard it the first time, right? Like, the only way you're gonna know how to do something is if you hear it at least once, okay?

Speaker 1
36:37 - 36:50
And then you recognize it. And then you hear it 20 times later by somebody else or someone else. And it wouldn't have clicked unless you heard it that first time, right? So it may not be today.

Speaker 1
36:50 - 36:59
It may not be tomorrow. It may not be like six months from now. However, you know that that's there. So at some point in your life, you know what?

Speaker 1
36:59 - 37:03
I'm gonna try this now. Maybe this might help. And you know what? It did this next time.

Speaker 1
37:04 - 37:20
And what we do and what I do is that it really is a lifelong process. Ayurveda is not our go-to here. Breath works in our go-to right away. This isn't taught to us all all the time.

Speaker 1
37:20 - 37:30
This is something we start to get to know over time based upon need. Wait, something's not quite right here. I need more information. How do I navigate this?

Speaker 1
37:32 - 37:50
And yeah, you know, what we see sometimes is the end result out there, you know, not the beginning. And the beginning is very small, very tiny. We don't wanna overwhelm. Life is overwhelming to begin with sometimes, you know?

Speaker 1
37:51 - 38:14
Yeah, so just the little bit at a time over time is the way to go. It's how it worked, you know? And then sometimes over like a few years, you look back and you're like, actually, You know, there has been some changes. I didn't realize, you know, I never in my thought I thought I'd be here in this moment, and here I am.

Speaker 1
38:14 - 38:29
That's pretty great. And it just takes a few little bits and pieces over time, just a little bit at a time to change. You know, we can't change everything overnight. If we did, it would present more issues, more discomfort.

Speaker 1
38:29 - 39:08
probably yeah i feel like it's planting a seed yes we don't plant the seed and then dig it up the next day to see the tomato plant right we just plant the seed we just every day put a little water on there do a little do a little breathing maybe walk maybe stretch you know and that's watering your seed and then eventually oh my god look at the tomato like it's just If you can picture it like that because that's the realistic like looking for the end result so quickly again, you know, we see it on Social media. Oh look where they are i'm comparing myself to where they are And then you never get there because that's not who you are.

Speaker 1
39:08 - 39:18
They planted the seed 20 years ago That's their tomato. You got to grow your own tomato plant, right? Absolutely. Absolutely 100.

Speaker 1
39:18 - 39:37
Yeah, it's and it's such a I, there are those moments that I don't always get to see the end result of my work as well. However, every now and again, you'll see someone years later, they'd be like, oh my gosh, remember when we talked about this, that or the other? I'm like, yeah, absolutely. How did that go?

Speaker 1
39:37 - 39:56
They're like, I didn't do it until like a couple of years later. And actually was able to do it. And then there's some things, you know, where you don't know how it's going to work out. And they're like, you know what, it opened me up for so many other things that I never thought I would ever experience.

Speaker 1
39:56 - 40:18
Coming to see, and it did for me too as well, going to learn this craft or this science, Ayurveda and breath work. I've met so many people along the way. And same thing with anyone else. If you're working with someone, you say, hey, I'm part of Ayurveda too, is referring them to other people that might be helpful for them.

Speaker 1
40:18 - 40:27
I send someone dancing. I said, why don't you go dancing? Do something uplifting. And she was like, oh, I might do that.

Speaker 1
40:27 - 40:38
And I'm like, find a friend and see how it feels. It doesn't have to be a lesson or taught. Just go somewhere where you can just go dance and nobody cares what you're doing. You're just being you.

Speaker 1
40:38 - 40:51
And over time, they're like, oh my gosh, did you know that there's this community? They all dance every Friday night and we do this sort of thing. And that's what it is too. It's like, you don't always have to just do this one thing.

Speaker 1
40:52 - 40:56
Right? Everything. Everything matters. Everything counts.

Speaker 1
40:57 - 41:18
It all works together in some way, shape, or form. And the more you get to know yourself, and that's in a deeper way, and reflect, and able to do that, the more you grow and the more you're able to see what's out there for you and what can enrich your life and your children's lives as well. You're like, oh my gosh, did you see Momshamoth dancing? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1
41:18 - 41:45
Like did you see dad that dad and mom they went dancing together? Oh my gosh, like what's that about? You know and And they come back happy and they talk about it and they joke about it and like laughter for us was like the biggest medicine ever Able to not take yourself too seriously All of this stuff, it just really, like you said, you plant the seed, it starts to grow, and it develops into something that you never thought was possible sometimes.

Speaker 1
41:45 - 42:03
And it can go in so many different directions. And that is really what it is, is enriching your world and your life and seeing what's out there for you and knowing that you're a sacred being. You know, we are so important to ourselves first, right? Oh my gosh, yes.

Speaker 1
42:03 - 42:22
Yeah. And showing that to your children as well is so important too, is that, oh, like, you know, mom and dad or dad and mom both feel that they're important people and so am I, right? We want to teach that to them too. I don't know how much more I can say to my children, I love them so much.

Speaker 1
42:23 - 42:36
In order for them to really love themselves, I have to reflect that too and show them that I love myself so much. I'm going to do these things to enrich my life. Yeah. I feel like you're breaking cycles.

Speaker 1
42:36 - 43:05
Yeah. You're breaking cycles that you know and and again whenever I say this about our parents and their parents, you know It's never a slam. We do whatever everyone does what they can out of love and what they know but as we start to grow and evolve we start seeing things like Oh that really stuck with me and it probably shouldn't and so when we are Doing this. We're not just doing it for ourselves and we're not just doing it for our kids.

Speaker 1
43:06 - 43:39
We're like breaking cycles of stress and trauma Can you speak to that a little bit? I can do my best, you know, i'm not an expert so But I can certainly speak on You know It's a deep reflection on that one too, Cheryl. I can certainly say that's a pretty big subject. What I can say is, for me, I don't take it lightly, but I also take it lightly.

Speaker 1
43:39 - 44:12
So I know it's important. I know it's something that I feel is necessary for our children to go in a direction or grow from our experiences. And the only, from what I know and from what I understand, I can say whatever I want to say, but it's true is what they see. Having also love for my own family and my parents as well, but at the same time knowing that, right, you know, maybe this wasn't the right way for me.

Speaker 1
44:12 - 44:28
And I think that's a beast too is, you know, as we move forward, it just wasn't right for me. And I tried that direction. I tried those ways. Again, it didn't work for me with great love for the past.

Speaker 1
44:28 - 44:48
However, I'm going to move forward. And there's reflection. However, I'm not going to keep looking back and keep trying to do that over and over again, knowing. So part of self-love, and so I feel myself, too, is deeply loving myself, knowing that if this is not working for me, it's OK to try something different.

Speaker 1
44:48 - 45:06
because I want to feel better. I wanna live a nourishing, happy, fulfilling, joyful life. And part of that is to take action based upon my experience. And if it's something that doesn't work, then you try something different.

Speaker 1
45:06 - 45:26
And when your kids see that, I can touch the burner three or four times, right? And then it's shame on me, right? So, and that's part of it too is that, And I feel like my kids are kind of starting to do that as well. It takes time to really see it and develop.

Speaker 1
45:26 - 45:44
Two of my children are adults now. And noticing it and seeing and feeling. And then having that ability, too, is to have a conversation around even errors I may have made, and just be like, you know, you're right, I totally like missed that. What do you think?

Speaker 1
45:45 - 46:04
You know, like, and having that kind of conversation too is, I think, also breaks a lot of things, some cycles as well as having an adult conversation with your child. About really what what would work better for you, you know what I did too. What didn't really necessarily Assist you on that one, too. What do you think?

Speaker 1
46:05 - 46:43
Yeah and letting them navigate on their own and seek their own, you know wants or needs or tools or Educate themselves and what works for them? And so I think You know, I take it seriously, but at the same time, um you know, I don't want to be totally like I don't want to hold on to it so much that, you know, I'm like, oh gosh, I, well, no, I, you know, I, I did something wrong and yeah, maybe I made a mistake, but at the same time, like, what can we do at this point to, to make things better? Yeah.

Speaker 1
46:43 - 47:08
I think that's huge. And our kids, you know, I find too, like my kids are adults as well. And, Really, thank goodness, I have no problem calling me out on something I used to do or even did do or, you know, and that's the pause in the breath because, you know, we can instantly get offended. Or we can say, Oh, okay.

Speaker 1
47:09 - 47:14
That's, you know, that wasn't my intention or I'm sorry. Or I mean, I'm sorry. It's fine. I'll do better.

Speaker 1
47:14 - 47:50
Thank you. Thank you for telling me because I don't want to go down that path. And it's such an interesting relationship that you can create with your adult children and even with your teens when they really feel like you take accountability. Mm-hmm, and you know, maybe you are steadfast and whatever it is you were believing then or maybe you're like, oh That might have been my mom in 1962 You know when things are a little different so, you know somebody here Oh my god, I hear my mother come

Speaker 1
47:50 - 48:20
right out of my mouth and sometimes it's funny and sometimes like oh, maybe not Yeah, but being open to those conversations. I mean I it's building groundwork to, you know, my experience now, my kids being adults, we're, we're great friends and we can really talk and we can really reflect, I feel. And that's, you know, you're not just raising teenagers to go out in the world and see you later. You're raising these human beings and you want them to not need you, but you want them to want you.

Speaker 1
48:20 - 49:21
to hang around and and be that person and I always want to be that person so you can't be that person without taking some accountability in some ways that you might have not done the best thing and what could I have done better. Absolutely and I you know, and also those moments too where I know that you know someday maybe they'll be parents right so The understanding and like you said the cycle breaking of cycles, you know Like it's not going to be perfect at all going in that direction. However, you know dropping something that may not work something else up that may be more helpful because yeah the times are very different than when you know when I was a kid too as well you know I joke they're like oh gosh I sound like gosh I'm saying when I was a kid I'm like I'm did I really just say that back in the day okay did I really just say that I did I said that I certainly did That's the truth.

Speaker 1
49:22 - 49:46
And so, yeah, just that, you know, and it's, that's, I take things a little, that's, I take seriously, but also lightly at the same time, like, okay, like that doesn't work so much. You know, I tried it, I tried it once, it's not working. So we got to pick something up or nothing at all and, you know, and move forward from that. And it is, and it's a kind way of breaking cycles.

Speaker 1
49:47 - 50:05
You know, there are there is some moments where you have to be like, no, this is not happening anymore. That's, you know, there's something or whatever you got to be really, you know. black and white about, and then things are like, you know, in a kind way, you know, this is just not really working, we're going to try something different. You know, doing it in a softer way.

Speaker 1
50:05 - 50:36
You know, we start making change in a soft way, the affect or what comes back to you is a little bit softer too, so it's easier to make subtle changes. having to make a big change. We make them more subtle so it's a little bit easier to take on the responsibility or even whatever comes back in our direction on how to reevaluate what might work what may not work. So good.

Speaker 1
50:36 - 50:48
Oh my goodness. Brett, just before we wrap up, just please tell everybody how to work with you, how to find you, all the good things. Brett Aldridge, please. It's pretty simple.

Speaker 1
50:48 - 50:59
I just, you know, you can reach out to me through my website. I have contact information there. It's seedthespirit.com and my contact information is there. You can reach out.

Speaker 1
50:59 - 51:17
Um, we do consult do a quick free consultation at the beginning if that's something you have interest in or you can just directly we can make an appointment and get together and have communication about what works for you. Um, yeah, that's very easy. I'm on Facebook and Instagram. Um, see the spirit is also on Facebook.

Speaker 1
51:17 - 51:43
I have a business page there as well. So yeah, yeah, everything will be in the show notes and you know, this has just been fabulous conversation. I hope, like me, you are walking away with a deeper understanding that supporting your teen starts with supporting ourselves. When we breathe differently, we respond differently, we show our teens what calm connection looks like, not through words, but through presence.

Speaker 1
51:43 - 51:58
We are reminded today that these practices don't have to be big or complicated. It's about small, sustainable results. That's where your wisdom, your patience, and your compassion lives. I really encourage you to listen and re-listen.

Speaker 1
51:58 - 52:13
Everything is in the show notes with Brett, and it's not about being perfect. It's just about being present. Brett, thank you so much for your knowledge, your expertise, and your passion for this subject. I really appreciate you being here.

Speaker 1
52:14 - 52:22
Thank you so much, Cheryl. I appreciate it. Thank you for listening. Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for today's world, and we will catch you next time.

Speaker 1
52:24 - 52:45
Thank you for listening to another episode. I hope you loved this one as much as I did. And I just wanted to share something with you because, you know, parenting teens is not just about managing these challenges that we talk about on all the episodes. It's also about evolving alongside them.

Speaker 1
52:45 - 53:09
And I'm Cheryl and not only the host of this podcast, but I'm also the creator of Insight to Impact, coaching and consulting. And I help you moms of teens reconnect with your true selves so you can lead with purpose, you can parent with clarity, you can create stronger, more meaningful relationships with your kids. Because here's the truth. The transformation starts with you.

Speaker 1
53:09 - 53:23
Together, we will break free from the stress and overwhelm. We will rediscover your power. We will create the life and the family dynamic you always dreamed of. If you're ready to start this journey, let's do it.

Speaker 1
53:24 - 53:56
You might just not recognize your life in the next 90 days. It all starts with a call, there's no pitch, there's no pressure, just a call to see if I can help. We'll talk about your goals, we'll talk about what's making you feel stuck and what might be getting in your way and everything you need to connect with me is in the show notes. Again, I'm Cheryl, thank you so much for joining me here on Parenting Teens, advice redefined for today's complex world and the creator of Insight to Impact, coaching and consulting.

Speaker 1
53:56 - 53:57
Have a great day.