~133~WTF "It's NEVER Too Late"

#StartingOver #Wisdom #LifeExperience #PersonalGrowth #HabitChange #parentingteens

You are not starting from zero—you’re starting from wisdom, experience, and the love that’s carried you this far. In this raw, unfiltered Friday episode Cheryl shares how parents of teens can reset, re‑frame, and reinvent every part of their lives—from boundaries and communication to self‑care and spirituality—no matter their age. Whether you’re in your 50s, 60s, or beyond, discover the “one‑minute rule,” the power of a true apology, and why it’s never too late to model the change you want your teen to see.

“Your teen watches how you talk to yourself. Your teen watches how you talk about your body. They learn not from what you say, but from what you model.”

wtf never too late.m4a
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Speaker 1
00:02 - 00:30
Welcome back to another episode of WTF, that's what the, or Welcome to Friday, however you wanna position it, whatever it means to you today. I am Cheryl Pankhurst and I am your host here. This is the spin-off of Parenting Teens Advice Redefined for Today's World podcast that releases every Wednesday. This is the Friday, this is the WTF, anything goes, whatever I feel like talking about, that's what you're getting.

Speaker 1
00:30 - 00:47
And I hope something resonates with you. And if it does, share it, download it, listen to it again. I just hope it means something to you. I don't want anyone sitting out there listening thinking, I'm alone, and I don't know anybody who's felt this way.

Speaker 1
00:47 - 00:57
And I can guarantee you, in one of these episodes, you're going to feel heard. You're going to feel seen. And I care. And so here we go.

Speaker 1
00:58 - 01:24
Today's episode comes from a very real place in my life right now. I am in the season of starting over, but not in a dramatic burn everything down, burning some things down, yeah, but not starting from zero. And I think someone said this to me once, and it might have even been a therapist, that you're not starting from zero. You're starting from wisdom.

Speaker 1
01:25 - 01:54
You're starting from experience. And man, I took that to heart because sometimes things just end and you feel like you are completely starting all over again but you're not. You're starting with something that you've learned and in a way it's like I've lived and I've learned and I know myself better now and I get to start again. I get to choose again.

Speaker 1
01:54 - 02:15
What a gift. Starting over doesn't mean you've failed. It doesn't mean you're broken. It simply means that you are now paying attention and not just paying attention but respecting how you feel about something, someone, a situation.

Speaker 1
02:15 - 02:35
I have changed careers. I have shifted relationships. I have evolved spiritually in ways I never thought I ever would. I have rebuilt parts of my life that I thought were set in stone and it has brought me here to this moment.

Speaker 1
02:35 - 02:51
to the podcast, to the work I do. I'm not starting from scratch. I'm starting from experience. And that reflection really wanted me to get into this episode because it kind of filters through everything that I do.

Speaker 1
02:51 - 03:01
You know, I can begin, you can begin again. You can begin again in your 50s. You can begin again in your 60s. You can begin again in your 80s.

Speaker 1
03:01 - 03:15
And things that you wouldn't know in your 20s and 30s. And this brings me to, it is never too late. I want to break the myth. Let's go straight into the myth.

Speaker 1
03:16 - 03:34
Well, things have always been this way. As if the past is this contract that you can't rewrite. Patterns are not destiny and habits are not fate. What you've tolerated does not have to continue to be tolerated in any way.

Speaker 1
03:34 - 03:55
You're allowed to shift the energy in your home. You're allowed to change the way you show up. You're allowed to evolve and change or create your boundaries, your beliefs, your behaviors, your habits. If you have a teen at home, you're not too old to reconnect with your teen.

Speaker 1
03:55 - 04:22
Your home is not too messy to reset. Your story is not too complicated to rewrite. And here are the things, you know, when I talk to parents, you know, when they're struggling at home with maybe phones or curfews or, I don't know, allowing sleepovers. you're never too late to change the rules.

Speaker 1
04:22 - 04:40
It's never too late to change how you feel about the rules. It's never too late to say, listen, I made a mistake handing you that phone. I made a mistake giving you access to social media. I see the path that's taking you down and it's not a good path.

Speaker 1
04:40 - 05:03
And so it's my job to keep you safe, period. So it won't go over well. They're not going to have a birthday celebration because you changed the rules. But if it's your job to keep them safe and you're not feeling like they're safe, weigh the pros and cons here and then change the rules.

Speaker 1
05:03 - 05:29
And you can be very open and very honest about it. You don't have to, you know, 30, 40, 50 years ago was because I said so. Not so great anymore, but more like, I think I made a mistake. I don't think I should have allowed this, or maybe I should have allowed this, or maybe I shouldn't have handed you this responsibility that I think you're really struggling to manage.

Speaker 1
05:29 - 05:42
It's never too late. It's never too late to start moving your body. It's never too late to start feeling alive. And this could be five minutes a day.

Speaker 1
05:42 - 05:56
Movement is permission, not punishment. And if you're thinking, oh, this is so overwhelming. I never move my body. Listen, set your alarm for one minute and move your body for one minute.

Speaker 1
05:57 - 06:17
Do something for one minute. Anybody can do anything for one minute, because what happens at the end of that alarm going off after one minute is you're like, oh, I could probably do more. I could probably do two minutes. That kind of felt good, and I'm not exhausted, and I'm not overwhelmed.

Speaker 1
06:18 - 06:46
And this is starting any new habit. One minute of meditation, one minute of germining. When you're finished, the key to this is when you are finished doing the task you are trying to get into, if it's only a minute, you're left wanting more. You're left wanting to continue, but the alarm goes off and you stop, which means the next time you do it, you're going to be excited to do it.

Speaker 1
06:46 - 06:55
Instead of going to the gym, think, I'm going to go on this treadmill for the first time for an hour and a half. I'm not getting off. And after 10 minutes, you're exhausted. You hate it.

Speaker 1
06:55 - 07:05
You go home. I'm never going to do it again. Or you do it for one minute, and the alarm goes off. You're like, oh, shoot, I could do more.

Speaker 1
07:05 - 07:12
But don't do more. Don't do more till next week. Do a minute every day for a week. until your body's craving to do it again.

Speaker 1
07:13 - 07:45
And not only that, you are also telling yourself that you kept your word. And your brain starts to rewire itself, knowing that you can change, and you can adapt, and you can start again. It is never too late to call that friend. The one that feels like so much time has passed, and now if I call, I don't know what I would say, and I would have to start with, oh, I'm sorry, I'm so busy, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1
07:46 - 08:15
Reaching out to that friend could be exactly what they need. So if you make this part about them and not about you, it will be easy to reach out. And it's never, ever too late to try and make someone else feel cared about or connected or loved. You know, it's never too late to change rules.

Speaker 1
08:15 - 08:49
It's never too late to Stop yelling and start connecting. Even if you've always yelled, even if that is like the trigger, that is the go-to, and even if you regret it every single time, you can decide today, it's never too late to change how I communicate with my kids, or my spouse, or my partner, or my colleagues. You can decide I'm not doing this anymore. Not, I'm going to try.

Speaker 1
08:49 - 09:14
There's no try. You can decide that it's never too late to change something. Your kids, your partner, your colleagues will feel the shift without you ever having to say anything again. They will see it, and if it's a trigger for you, if it's something you automatically go to, and that's, it happens.

Speaker 1
09:16 - 09:34
Practice that magic of the pause we talk about in this podcast all the time. You feel it, you know that usual, your usual go-to is to yell, stop. Just take three deep breaths. Just walk away.

Speaker 1
09:34 - 09:48
Just have a glass of water. Just reframe how you're gonna come at this. And it's gonna take time and time and time and time again and keep telling yourself, it's never too late to change. It's never too late to change.

Speaker 1
09:49 - 10:02
It's never too late to change. And you can change. It is never too late to build your inner world. It's never too late to explore spirituality.

Speaker 1
10:02 - 10:25
Maybe you were raised, for instance, Catholic, and you don't believe in any of that, and you don't like the rules, and you don't know what to believe. It's never too late to start exploring. It's never too late to look into spirituality as opposed to religion. It's never too late to think, Maybe there is something there.

Speaker 1
10:26 - 10:36
It's never too late to start practicing mindfulness. Again, the one minute rule, the 30 second rule. Well, I can't meditate. Oh my God, I can't sit still.

Speaker 1
10:36 - 10:45
I can't. I can't. You can do anything for 30 seconds. You can do anything for 60 seconds.

Speaker 1
10:46 - 10:53
I promise. Anything. Just try and no, I'm lying. Don't try.

Speaker 1
10:54 - 11:12
Just do it for 30 seconds. and set that alarm. Because after the 30 seconds, I guarantee you, if it's something that speaks to you, you're going to say, hmm, I could do a little more of that. And it's never too late to explore different mindfulness practices.

Speaker 1
11:12 - 11:44
Maybe meditation is not for you in the traditional sense where you sit down and you're still and you hear nothing and you close your eyes. Maybe that's just not going to be for you. Meditation can be flipping through a magazine, it can be walking in nature, it can be swimming, it can be reading, it can be knitting, it can be anything that allows you to focus on exactly what you're doing. So if you're meditating with your eyes closed, you're just focusing breath.

Speaker 1
11:45 - 12:04
If you're meditating and you're knitting, you're focusing on, you're not thinking about what you're gonna do next and what you're gonna do next week and what you're gonna make for dinner. You're focusing on the wool and the needle and the process. Coloring is meditation. It's never too late to explore curiosity.

Speaker 1
12:04 - 12:36
Maybe there's a subject you think, ah, you know what, I never really had time to go to school for this, but I really wanna know a little more about AI. I want a little more know more about, you know, pickleball or yoga or history or it's never too late. Call it whatever you want. Whatever matters to you, you begin it.

Speaker 1
12:37 - 12:58
You are not starting on empty. You're starting on wisdom. It is never too late to try therapy or coaching. If your teen learns self-regulation through your self-regulation, when you invest in your healing, you shift the entire emotional ecosystem of your home.

Speaker 1
12:59 - 13:27
How is that to motivate you to want to change something? It is never too late to apologize. A grounded, real apology is transformational, and not just for the receiver, but for the sender. And not just, I'm sorry, but I see it.

Speaker 1
13:28 - 13:38
I own it. And I'm sorry means the behavior will change. I'm sorry doesn't mean I'm going to get away with it. I'm going to do it again.

Speaker 1
13:38 - 13:52
And I'm going to apologize again. And I have said this to anyone that apologizes to me more than once for the same thing. Apologies mean nothing without changed behavior. It means nothing.

Speaker 1
13:54 - 14:08
It is never, never too late to reinvent your life. Again, not from zero, but from wisdom. You have survived things your younger self can't even imagine. You've now built resilience.

Speaker 1
14:08 - 14:36
You've gained insight. You get to start over, but with clarity and with courage, and you get to understand what you've gone through in the sense that loving yourself, including loving your body. Like this matters deeply. We grow up criticizing our bodies and hiding them and talking down to them and treating them like projects, but it carries us through.

Speaker 1
14:36 - 14:53
It carries us through every chapter of our life, our heartbreak, our joy, transition, every survival moment. It's never too late to just be soft with yourself. And I don't mean just physical body, but your soul. who you are.

Speaker 1
14:53 - 15:09
It's never too late to be soft, to give yourself grace, to see your body and your mind with gratitude instead of judgment. Oh, I shouldn't have thought that. I shouldn't have ate this. Give yourself grace.

Speaker 1
15:09 - 15:25
Stop the war that you are holding within yourself. And remember, Your teen watches how you talk to yourself. Your teen watches how you talk about your body. And then it becomes their script.

Speaker 1
15:28 - 15:38
So what is the point in changing? Growth is possible. Change at any age is valid. You don't need perfection.

Speaker 1
15:39 - 15:54
You need intention. Your past doesn't define your future. And your evolution becomes your permission slip. And it becomes a permission slip for those eyes that are watching you at home.

Speaker 1
15:54 - 16:21
They learn not from what you say, but from what you model. So let me leave you with this. It is never too late. Not for your body, not for your health, not for your parenting, not for your relationships, not for your spirituality, not for your boundaries, not for your joy, not for your connection, not for your home, not for your life.

Speaker 1
16:22 - 16:31
You are not starting over as a beginner. I am not starting over as a beginner. I'm excited. I'm a little nervous, but I'm excited.

Speaker 1
16:32 - 16:52
You're starting over as a man or a woman with layers of wisdom, lived experience, compassion and strength. Your next chapter isn't asking for a younger version of you. It's asking for the wiser one. So choose again.

Speaker 1
16:52 - 17:02
Reset again as many times as you need to. Reset again. Allow yourself to evolve. You are not too late.

Speaker 1
17:03 - 17:25
You are right on time. Thank you for listening to WTF, the unedited, unfiltered podcast for every Friday. I'm Cheryl, I'm your host, and I am so grateful you're here. And if this resonates with you, I would love to hear about it.

Speaker 1
17:25 - 17:30
I would love to hear what you're starting over again. Thanks for listening. Have a good Friday.