~135~WTF "This is 61"

#Aging #Gratitude #Reframing #SoloCelebration #Minimalism #parentingteensadvice #podcast

Cheryl celebrates her 61st birthday by sharing the mindset tools that have turned this milestone into a launchpad for more joy, energy, and purpose. In this candid conversation she explores:

• Re‑framing frustration – turning every irritation into a lesson you can act on.
• The “Burn‑It‑Down” mindset – clearing out what no longer serves you while keeping the valuable remnants that fuel growth.
• Loving solo time – why eating alone, watching a movie by yourself, or sipping an old‑fashioned can be powerful acts of self‑care.
• Minimalist joy – shedding the “stuff that made me me” that never actually defined you, and discovering the freedom of a simpler, intentional life.
• Gratitude as a super‑power – using the question “What’s the alternative?” to pivot from fear to possibility.

If you’re looking for fresh language, practical mindset shifts, and confidence‑boosting rituals to live your best life at any age, this episode is your roadmap.

WTF-61.m4a
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Speaker 1
00:03 - 00:37
Alone, not lonely. Table for one, stated proudly with a quiet radiance in her own light. Celebrations are not only for gatherings, but also for solo honorings, acknowledging, reveling as her. Life can be as sweet and smooth as the old fashions she is sipping and indulging.

Speaker 1
00:37 - 00:52
Taking time. Embracing all that is and all that is to be. Trips around the sun. This is 61.

Speaker 1
00:55 - 01:25
Welcome to another episode of WTF that's what the or welcome to Friday take your pick however you decide to Perceive and receive that is all on you. I'm Cheryl Pankhurst I'm your host and I started things a little differently today because today's episode is about me be turning 61. And no, I can't believe it. And then yes, I can, because I keep getting the cards and the birthday wishes.

Speaker 1
01:25 - 01:43
And, you know, becoming 61, you know, my dad used to say, when somebody complained about getting older, you know, how do you feel about getting older? How do you feel about 50, 60? My dad would say, well, what's the alternative? So I am all about what's the alternative.

Speaker 1
01:43 - 01:51
I don't want the alternative. I'm not ready for it. So I will take 61. And honestly, I don't think I've ever felt better.

Speaker 1
01:51 - 02:34
I don't think I've ever been in better shape, had more energy and just been on this mission. Now that I am retired from teaching and doing this podcast and doing some consulting and advocating and now, uh, being a part of co-authoring a book that I'm so excited about and we'll talk more about later like all these things are coming to be and there's things that I have really learned. I've noticed so much about myself is for the first time I never seem to feel like scattered, like I have so much to do, not enough time to do it.

Speaker 1
02:34 - 03:25
And yes, of course, being retired helps. But it's also I'm doing everything that I love. And, you know, this podcast just brings me so much joy, whether I'm doing it solo and the interviews I drop on Wednesdays, I just am Just so grateful for the connections I'm making and the friendships I'm making it's insane It's all over the world that that this is happening and all of this is part of this evolving and growing and and really accepting who I am and You know this past year has been you know a challenge But more of a growth I have learned so much desperately now to reframe how things are going.

Speaker 1
03:26 - 03:55
And instead of now, when I feel something happen that feels like a disappointment or a big delay, or something just so frustrating, or this pisses me right off. Now I'm so quick to say, okay, If I'm feeling this way, then there's something I need to learn here. Instead of kind of rattling in the resistance and the anger and the shadow and the dark, I have to say, you know what? I love this dark.

Speaker 1
03:55 - 04:11
I love this dark. I love this resistance because it's making me kind of go, huh. What is it you need to learn from this one? And when I sit down and really think about it or journal about it or whatever, I usually get the lesson.

Speaker 1
04:11 - 04:32
It comes. So I promise you, if you can try to reframe whatever it is that's causing you some frustration, into, okay, I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because I need to learn something from this. And if I don't learn something from this, I can guarantee it will come back again and again and again until I do.

Speaker 1
04:34 - 04:52
And I was listening to, I've been listening to a lot of like women leaders in the podcast world and business world. And I've heard this term so many times. I burned my life down and started again. And I kind of, it's so dramatic, I love the term, I burned everything down.

Speaker 1
04:52 - 05:17
I feel like this last year, I could relate to, I burned everything down. But when I think about that term, it means I burned everything down. It means I'm starting from, you know, from experience, starting from wisdom, all of that. But what I would love to think is burn everything down, but have the remnants of what I needed.

Speaker 1
05:18 - 05:43
So when we think about burning something down, when we think about eradicating something that's not working, can we Can we think about the things that are no longer serving us? Burn them down. Get rid of them. Whether it's a situation or a concern or just the worry that just spirals in your head and never goes away.

Speaker 1
05:43 - 05:49
Is it people? Is it a family member? Is it a friend? Is it whatever it is?

Speaker 1
05:50 - 05:58
If it's not working for you, it's not serving you, yeah, you can. Not literally, please. I'll get charged. burn it down.

Speaker 1
05:59 - 06:47
But even in those relationships, even in the things that you're burning down, what can you learn from them? Like what can you take from maybe the relationship that is just no longer working and you know that just it's not aligning, you have maybe outgrown each other, maybe your goals are different, maybe maybe it's taken a little while for you know this person to surface the real them and you starting to realize that oh this is not what I thought it was this is not what I signed up for and it happens all the time but can you I almost itemize what is it you didn't sign up for that is really not aligning with you.

Speaker 1
06:47 - 07:19
Because when we can identify that, maybe it's someone who you thought, I don't know, had some spirituality or belief, and you have a very strong belief in spirituality and faith and certainty that there is something else or someone else or another force, a universe. And you are now, it's a core value. And you have discovered that whoever you're with, that's not a core value at all. No interest.

Speaker 1
07:20 - 07:45
And there's no conversation about it. You know, when you have a really strong value or a really strong interest in something, you want to be talking with your partner about it. So if that's a drive, if that's a divide, and you identify that, well, OK. Now, if you're looking for another relationship or you're hoping another one lands, is that not going to be the very first conversation you have?

Speaker 1
07:46 - 08:03
Maybe. Maybe it's you thought somebody was, you know, very family oriented and, you know, that was what they valued. And after a little while, you realize that that's not the case. Well, family is everything to you.

Speaker 1
08:04 - 08:33
So if you are identifying the fact that now you're with somebody who you think doesn't value the things you value, okay, your next trip, your next relationship, your next look, you know, maybe that's a question. And, you know, Words are words, but actions, right? Actions speak louder than words. So show me, not just tell me who you are and what you're about, what your values are.

Speaker 1
08:33 - 08:53
Show me. And when they show you the first time, I think Oprah said this or Maya Angelou, believe them. When they show you the first time, believe them. You know, there's always opportunities to, you know, move on and meet other people.

Speaker 1
08:54 - 09:08
But what I learned this year, too, is I actually love my own company. I love my own company. I never feel lonely. I go to the movies by myself.

Speaker 1
09:08 - 09:20
I go to dinner by myself. And I very much enjoy it because nobody's talking, for one thing. I can pick whatever I want to eat, whatever restaurant. We don't have to go back and forth.

Speaker 1
09:20 - 09:32
What do you want? I don't know, blah, blah. I just go to wherever I want. And so even for my 61st birthday, most of the day was spent with my mom who had a procedure done.

Speaker 1
09:32 - 09:42
Her story, not mine. And you know, she spent the whole day apologizing. Oh, this is your birthday and look how you're spending it. And yeah, you know what?

Speaker 1
09:42 - 09:53
Maybe a different me would have said, yeah, this sucks. Like, oh my God, how am I spending my birthday doing this? But here's the reframe. I wouldn't have a birthday without her.

Speaker 1
09:54 - 10:20
There would be no birthday. There would be nothing to celebrate. So what more of an honor would it be for me to spend the day supporting, loving, caring somebody who gave me life, who gave me my birthday? So it's reframing can be very, challenging until you catch yourself doing it all the time.

Speaker 1
10:20 - 10:47
Can you catch yourself, ah, okay, I don't like how that sounded, reframe, change it, pivot, whatever word you wanna use. But awareness is key. So even if you just catch yourself, ah, there it is, there's the dark, there's the cloud I don't want, I'm gonna change that, I'm gonna learn from that. And anyway, so I had a great day with her, especially because it was my birthday.

Speaker 1
10:48 - 11:04
And then I took myself out for the best dinner. And I had a couple of old fashions and the best burger I've ever had in my life. And I wrote that poem that I read at the beginning, which I never do. I never pull out my book and start writing in the middle of the restaurant.

Speaker 1
11:04 - 11:34
But it was something else that I felt so called to do and confident and it felt really good. It just felt really good. So if you are concerned about the next birthday, about getting older, you know, I don't know, I feel better and better every year. I feel so much more confident in my own skin.

Speaker 1
11:35 - 11:55
I don't worry about my thighs. I don't worry about what I feel like eating. I don't, you know, there's things that I've just shed that I don't need anymore. And it's become almost minimalist attitude.

Speaker 1
11:55 - 12:41
Yeah, I still like nice things, of course, but there's things that I thought made me me that never made me me. And as you get older, the gift is you really start to uncover that. So if you're concerned about, oh, I'm going to be 55, I'm going to be 60, I'm going to be 90, maybe take advice from my dad and say, well, what's the alternative? And then reframe everything around gratitude for what you have, dreams for what you know are going to come, and your family, your faith, if that's your thing.

Speaker 1
12:42 - 13:19
can be all minimal and bring you so much more joy. I hope you enjoyed this and I hope if it's your birthday coming, you are able to say, I'm so excited and I'm going to spend it exactly how I want. That is your gift from you to you. And this is my gift from me to you.

Speaker 1
13:19 - 13:26
WTF. Have a beautiful Friday and we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening.