WTCHH - Episode 1

Jennifer [00:00:07]:
Join Ashlee and Jennifer in a conversation about experiences and support for kids of first responders. They take their professional knowledge to help with the hardest job, being a parent with the added pressures of a high stress job.

Ashlee [00:00:21]:
It's a message of support with tips on how to meet the needs of your family while still wearing the badge. This experience coming from 2 mental health professionals that were raised by first responders, so we get it. And we hope to create a community for others that do too.

Jennifer [00:00:37]:
Welcome to when the call hits home. We're so excited to have you here and excited for you to get to know us.

Ashlee [00:00:43]:
I think it's time for us to introduce ourselves. Right? Like, this is our first episode, and we're really getting into it. So my name is Ashlee Gethner. I'm Jennifer Woosley. And, honestly, we just are here to tell you a little bit about what we do and how this all came about. So first, I am, I guess, doctor Ashlee Gethner, but you won't really hear me say that again because I'm not one to say it often. But I am a doctor of social work and a licensed clinical social worker. I own my own private practice in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and I specialize in working with first responders.

Ashlee [00:01:13]:
And for me, my passion for first responders came about because I grew up in a first responder's family. So, my dad did 29 years as a police officer. And, honestly, I didn't realize how different my life was. And, Jennifer, I don't know. I think you're you're gonna attest to this a little bit.

Jennifer [00:01:28]:
We'll definitely talk about it.

Ashlee [00:01:30]:
But I didn't realize how different my life was growing up in a first responders family until I was put in the position as I got older to connect with others such as Jennifer and learn about it.

Jennifer [00:01:40]:
Yes. And I actually also work in the mental health field. I'm a licensed professional clinical counselor. I've been practicing for 16 years, and I've worked in many settings from community mental health to an army base where they say they keep all the gold. I feel very, very fortunate that I love and enjoy my work. In some of my different experiences and working different places, I got the opportunity to work as a military family life counselor offering support to service members that serve. And then, Ashlee, do you wanna just talk about a little bit more about how we met and where this came about, especially since you did so much of your research and doctorate about, serving first responders?

Ashlee [00:02:22]:
Yes. It was actually I mean, it's a fun story. Right? It's here. It really launched us into all this. So I had started my dissertation, and I was in my doctorate program. And I decided that it was time to write this dissertation.

Jennifer [00:02:37]:
I don't know how you

Ashlee [00:02:38]:
did it. Definition of insanity. And, I went down. I got connected to a seminar, and I went down to Observe in which I actually ran into you. And over time, I got invited back. Right? So it's a a 3 day seminar in which we work with first responders, police, and dispatch, but it's mental health oriented. And so there's therapists there. And I was able to observe and then lucky enough to join the team.

Ashlee [00:03:05]:
And while I was down there, I met Jennifer and finally started to connect when she told me that her dad was a police officer too. And I think I don't know. What do

Jennifer [00:03:15]:
you think? I definitely think that was such a turning point. So, obviously, being a mental health provider, you're wearing your own kinda hat with it, and it comes with knowledge and information, and, you better be a really good listener. That's really important. I had gone to the seminar a little bit before Ashlee and had a time to kinda serve. And, you know, I was talking to Ashlee about what a lightning bolt moment that was for me. Again, I've been serving different populations. I'd worked at a domestic violence shelter. I'd worked with children in care.

Jennifer [00:03:50]:
And I kinda just, a fluke, got invited to the seminar, and I remember just feeling like, oh my goodness. This is where I'm supposed to be Yeah. In terms of just the ability to serve those that serve. And you'll probably hear me say that a lot, but I do think it's incredible for people that serve their community, to save people's lives. Like, they need people to back them up and serve them. And so I think in that and feeling such a calling was incredible, and Ashlee and I got to just kinda chat and, I guess, have several meals together over those 3 days.

Ashlee [00:04:25]:
Yeah.

Jennifer [00:04:25]:
And talking about a little bit what our experiences was like because I think we are the only mental health providers at this specific seminar that are, children of first responders. Obviously, their spouses and other people that have, actually, their own personal experiences as EMT and police officers that evolve into counseling and social workers. But, yeah, we just really talked about and connected over what it meant to grow up in that home and know I don't know, again, what your experience was. I know for me, the value system of growing up, it was about service to others.

Ashlee [00:05:03]:
Yeah.

Jennifer [00:05:04]:
There might be some generational stuff there, you know, in terms of I had other grandparents that were teachers and all this kinda and military members in my family. So it was always about service, and then, obviously, having a police officer's dad was about service to your community and kinda being a part of something bigger, which I think is a wonderful thing.

Ashlee [00:05:26]:
Yeah. And it's so funny because I remember the very first PCIS I went to. I totally was like, oh my gosh. You went and presented. And I was like, this woman is incredible. Like, she knows exactly what she's talking about. Not only that, but she's doing my dream job. Like, she's here.

Ashlee [00:05:44]:
She's serving. She's, you know, helping these first responders, and that's all I wanted to do. And it's funny how you said, like, going there kind of ignited your career into being like, yes. I know I want it at some capacity also helped first responders. And for me, with writing my dissertation and with being invited there, now being a part of it, it was something that I felt like was that turning point in my career where I was like, there's nothing else, like, I want to do. Like, I have to help first responders.

Jennifer [00:06:10]:
Well, I think it's funny that I blew your mind when, again, you told us all about you being a doctor. So you're actually the brains

Ashlee [00:06:16]:
of Okay.

Jennifer [00:06:18]:
You're the brains of the operation. But I do I mean, are you comfortable to talk a little bit, I guess, in detail about your doctor in terms of what your research is about and really, I guess, talk a little bit more about your expertise and why you know, what we wanna bring to people that listen to when the call hits home.

Ashlee [00:06:37]:
Sure. I mean so I guess I would love to reference that when I say the title of my dissertation, I think it puts people off a little bit. And I never want someone to like, this has nothing to do political at all. That is not my purpose of my dissertation. That was not my driving force, but my dissertation was on the civil unrest and how it impacted active law enforcement officers. And the real reason why I picked that was because I was in my master's program when a bigger event did unfold and kind of quickly realized right then and there that, like, being a child of a first responder is not always a very positive thing in this world.

Jennifer [00:07:17]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:07:17]:
And I kinda I'm a be honest, a a little vulnerable episode 1, so y'all better protect me here. I kinda felt really small. Like, oh my god. They're all talking about my dad. Like, you're talking really bad about my dad, and and it scared it scared me, but then it was a big motivator for me to be like, well, let me figure out more. Mhmm. And so I set out on this path to just really hear their stories and how going through civil unrest events impacted not just them, but their families as well. Mhmm.

Ashlee [00:07:50]:
And, you know, being able to explore that opportunity with these officers and get these firsthand narratives from them about what it was like for them and their families was truly life changing. And I think for me, that's when I was like, oh my gosh. Like, we do talk a lot about officers, and we do talk a lot about their spouses, which is a 100% needed. But most of them were giving me details about their children and how bad they were hurting. Yeah. And I was like, I felt that too. Mhmm. Right? Like, your kid felt that.

Ashlee [00:08:19]:
I remember feeling that.

Jennifer [00:08:20]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:08:21]:
I remember that. And, actually, it was while we were working together, we were sitting in the back talking during a break, and you had a gosh. I I'm gonna be honest here. I think it was it was something more along the lines of something our fathers would say or how we would kinda get disciplined in which all of a sudden this light bulb went off in my head, and I looked at you and I remember going, oh my gosh. You went through that too? Like, I didn't think anybody else understood what it was like Right. To go through that, and it was because you were a child of a first responder as well. Right? So, like, everything that I have worked for in my doctorates degree and then just kind of landed in my lap was like, we don't get talked about enough in a career that

Jennifer [00:09:08]:
We don't. I'm not I will say what a first responder kid response of being in something where you're uncomfortable and and feel small, which I hate that that was your experience. But let me take that and let me empower myself and let me do something about that. I do feel like a lot of the first responder that I have the honor of working with or have experienced just in general in this world are all about looking for problem solving, looking for solutions, which I think is an incredible thing. But I think that acknowledgment about what our roles are in a family with a parent with a really high stress job Yeah. With a lot of shift work, unfortunately, having to kinda see people on their worst bad days, the impact that that has on a family, but, specifically, we're really here to talk about kids. And as Ashlee and I have grown and talked about, you know, gosh, this dream project, Really thinking about to not just for first responders who are parents right now and ways to coach and be there and and reflect on things and using our expertise as mental health professionals, but also wanting to reach out and create a community. And, Ashlee, you are so great about this to say, well, we want first responder kids that are over 18 too.

Jennifer [00:10:31]:
Like, any place where it's just like you can be seen and supported and knowing that your family is great. All families have their stuff. But, hey, maybe there's some skills, some things that we can learn more about that can be really helpful.

Ashlee [00:10:45]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And I I think that our listeners, right, like, our audience is going to be engaged because we want guest speakers on here, and we want, like, first responders of all sorts, firefighter children, ZMTs, everybody, like, to come forward and and join us in this journey. Right. And we can learn from each other and talk to each other and connect on what what it was like similar wise, but then also talk about maybe some of those differences that we saw too. Because I know for us, right, like, I can connect with you and say, hey. Oh my gosh. That was so true.

Ashlee [00:11:16]:
But when I talk to a firefighter's child, right, I'm like, oh, that's different. That's a little bit of a different world.

Jennifer [00:11:22]:
Yeah. How so hard is it not seeing your your parent for 48 hours? And, you know, when you're little, you don't know what a minute is. So how do you determine time and a parent's home, a parent's gone, a parent's home, a parent's gone, or, you know, dispatching as well. I think I've shared this in the class that I taught. I don't know if I shared it in a while, but I'll never forget, you know, being in my dad's car and hearing the dispatcher's voices on the radio, and they were just kind of, like, a part of us. You know? Like, they were such familiar voices, and and I know we've talked about with dispatchers we worked in, how they feel really kinda unseen and not included at times. CF. So all those things we wanna incorporate and feel and really, most importantly, that you're heard, supported, and understood here as you listen to us kinda talk about these things.

Ashlee [00:12:15]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Well, this is kinda how we all start like, we started this huge project. Right? Like, we both realized, man, we have a lot in common, but yet different maybe from general population in terms of kids and what you know, how they grow. And then we went on this little journey together of, like, but how do we how do we focus in on this then?

Jennifer [00:12:37]:
We definitely see a need. Like, well, how do we capture that need? How do we help and support that need? I didn't interrupt.

Ashlee [00:12:44]:
Oh, well, no. I'm glad you did because I honestly was like, I'm not sure how. And so I remember you were like, hey. You listen to podcasts. Like, we listen to podcasts. What about this journey of starting 1? And and so you know what? Why don't I hand this mic to you? Because I'm telling you. The podcast here is expert. Oh, the expert on podcast.

Ashlee [00:13:06]:
So tell tell him why. Tell him why we decided to do the podcast.

Jennifer [00:13:09]:
I definitely am on all the podcasts that I can enjoy. And listen. There's lots out there. So we are really excited that you're listening to ours for sure. But I definitely believe in the power of podcasts. I also think they are so much more conducive to our lives and lifestyles, especially when we talk about and hoping to reach parents out there. We are too busy to sit down Yeah. With a book that can be kind of clinical or be a little bit wordy or heavy or you know, every profession has its own language, and so you're kinda learning a new language.

Jennifer [00:13:47]:
Whereas podcast, I think you can really get the information and go pick up your kid from school or get the dishes done. So it's just a better way to communicate, especially with first responders who maybe have some downtime or sitting in their cars or at the department and all the different things like that or the firehouse. So just a terms of just a, I think, a good platform to reach that allows you to while we have our busy lives.

Ashlee [00:14:16]:
Yeah. And I think go hitting back on that piece of community. Like, we hope so much from this to build community of, like, children of first responders and just first responders and their families in general to be able to connect by listening to us, by interacting on our social media pages, by reaching out to us and wanting to be a part of it. But I think that that, you know, a podcast gave us a better opportunity to reach more people and not bail

Jennifer [00:14:39]:
some Absolutely. There's really not too many. I mean, go support your independent bookstores because those are awesome, but it's a little bit easier to reach a podcast nowadays. So, we will do wanna tell you about this podcast and why this podcast because there are so many different podcasts, and I think that there's What makes us different? Well, I think that there's great podcasts for a lot of different professions and things. But what we really wanna, hit, especially, Ashlee, being such a driver for the community piece, which I think is so important. But we really wanna utilize our expertise as clinically trained mental health professionals, with our real life experience of growing up in a home with a first responder. We really wanna explore healthy strategies to navigate life as a parent, as a first responder, and you will never hear us try to act like we know what it's like to be the parent of a first responder because I

Ashlee [00:15:34]:
don't know what that's like. Do you know what that's No. I have no idea.

Jennifer [00:15:37]:
We don't. But what we are experts are on as relationships, development, resiliency, all of those things that we really wanna help you. And, again, that coping of what that experience was like even, again, if you're not a parent right now too, like but you just have the experience of growing up in a first responder home.

Ashlee [00:15:57]:
Well and I think that's what is unique. Right? Like, we're hitting this kind of in a twofold. 1 with this podcast is, like, children of first responders in general and what that's like and how to navigate life as a child of a first responder. But, also, as that first responder, how do we get through having children and, you know, having this career? Right. And I think that's what's really powerful.

Jennifer [00:16:18]:
Well and, you know, I think it really comes back to with our title. And we really kinda bounce. Like, what is the title of this? What is this gonna be? And I think it's true. I think we can always respond. And I think even I'll speak to being in the mental health profession. Sometimes it's a lot easier to solve and be there and be present for somebody else. And I think the first responders that are out rescuing, problem solving, responding to calls, and taking care of that. But what happens when our life has a call? What happens when there's a crisis at home? And I definitely see that.

Jennifer [00:16:54]:
I see healthy, healthy families. And, listen, life's gonna be hard. Unfortunately, we can lose a loved one or somebody battling cancer, you know, other things that just happen

Ashlee [00:17:07]:
Right.

Jennifer [00:17:08]:
In life. Goodness gracious. Having preadolescent child. Like, that is a hard time in life. And and how do we endure that? How do we kinda get through those speed bumps even when we do have great coping and we are resilient? Right. And so we just wanna help with that and and share. And I think Ashlee has been great too about saying, like, let's get other people's voices and opinions and really hitting home, and it won't just be us. We'll have some other voices on here and and getting to hear their experiences as well.

Jennifer [00:17:42]:
I do think we wanna talk a little bit what to expect from this podcast, which, again, Ashlee, the aspect of community. But I think support and understanding is really important. Again, what our experiences are, Ashlee and I connected so much because we saw each other Yeah. In our experiences. Of course, they're not identical by any means, but, man, there are some things that wow. You too? Me too? And so giving that, we want you to feel seen and understood obviously so much more. And and obviously so much more. And we want this information to be presented in an easy to understand way with interviews and guests sharing their experiences as well as tools to utilize on your own lives.

Ashlee [00:18:32]:
And I do wanna emphasize that. Like, that's gonna be really cool about this is that we're not just gonna be talking on here and leaving you hanging. We plan to incorporate some tools, like, literal things that you can take, whether you're a child of a first responder or the parent of a fur not a parent, but you know what I mean. You're a first responder as a parent. Right? And so we wanna be able to give you these physical tools that you can use, that you can look back on, and you can take when you need them or take them now. Right? And you use them and help help your family through these times.

Jennifer [00:19:07]:
Well and I think to speak to that, when I, was able to attend the master resiliency training through the army, which I was really lucky to get to do that. It's always about oh, I wish I can remember exactly what it was called, but you want the facts up front. You know? What is the tools? Give me the things that I need to know that would help. We definitely want to share stories and experiences, but most importantly is how can that help you? And tools is what we wanna help you with and educate. And, again, not in a stuffy clinical Yeah. Way.

Ashlee [00:19:47]:
I can do that if you want.

Jennifer [00:19:48]:
Yeah. You have a hard

Ashlee [00:19:49]:
time to taste about it. I did teach for a while. I can do it if you guys want.

Jennifer [00:19:53]:
Yeah. But no. We really wanna do that. And so too. We're humans. We'll stumble and and make our way through this, and we just appreciate you being here and hearing us and letting us know too what you wanna hear more of. We do want those to be an interactive thing that we're not not just speaking to the void.

Ashlee [00:20:13]:
I think I'm just so excited not only for our journey with this podcast, but for everyone else's.

Jennifer [00:20:19]:
Absolutely. Yeah. And to kids of first responders, we see you. We hear you. Parents of kids, whoo, hardest job. Hardest, hardest job. We see you. We wanna support you and your families.

Ashlee [00:20:36]:
Yeah. And when the call hits home, we're gonna be there for them. We're here for that. And we're gonna help. Thank you. We're excited. We'll see you guys next episode.