![](https://podopshost.com/storage/pod_1715127593.png)
![](https://podopshost.com/storage/pod_cover_1715310354.png)
WTCHH - Episode 2
When The Call Hits Home
Dr. Ashlee Gethner, DSW, LCSW & Jennifer Woosley, LPCC S | Rating 0 (0) (0) |
whenthecallhitshome.com/ | Launched: May 29, 2024 |
contact@whenthecallhitshome.com | Season: 1 Episode: 2 |
1. Introduction
- Hosts introduce themselves and the episode's focus
- Mention the aim of creating a community for children of first responders
2. Challenging Negative Thoughts and Practicing Gratitude for Mental Health
- Importance of mental health for children of first responders
- Ways to challenge negative thoughts
- Role of gratitude in mental health
3. Holiday Challenges and Support within the First Responder Community
- Balancing work schedules and family time during holidays
- Jennifer’s experience of her father’s colleagues covering shifts
- Significance of community support among first responders
4. Personal Experiences Growing up with First Responder Parents
- Impact of parents' careers on childhood experiences
- Jennifer's reflection on not knowing which version of her father would show up
- Ashlee's structured upbringing influenced by her father's work mentality
- Positive relationships and unique experiences
- Jennifer’s pride in her dad’s role as a firefighter
- Ashlee's fond memories of 4th of July fireworks with her father
5. Resiliency
- Defining resiliency: Ability to pick oneself up after being knocked down
- Example from Jennifer's work with adolescents at a military base
- Importance of resiliency for children and individuals in high-stress jobs
6. Resiliency and Gratitude in First Responder Families
- Discussing how gratitude aids in building resiliency
- Drawing insights from hosts' own childhood experiences
7. Future Episodes and Audience Engagement
- Hosts' intention to provide more insight into resiliency
- Invitation to listeners to engage with social media pages
- Teasing more stories and experiences related to being children of first responders
8. Conclusion
- Recap of main points discussed
- Emphasis on open conversation about experiences of children of first responders
- Encouraging audience engagement and providing support for listeners
This podcast does not contain medical / health advice. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on as health or personal advice. The information contained in this podcast is for general information purposes only. The information is provided by Training Velocity LLC and while we endeavour to keep the information up to date and correct, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the Podcast or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained in the podcast for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such information is strictly at your own risk. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOR LIABLE FOR ANY ADVICE, COURSE OF TREATMENT, DIAGNOSIS OR ANY OTHER INFORMATION, SERVICES OR PRODUCTS THAT YOU OBTAIN THROUGH THIS PODCAST. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. |
SUBSCRIBE
Episode Chapters
![](https://podopshost.com/storage/pod_1715127593.png)
1. Introduction
- Hosts introduce themselves and the episode's focus
- Mention the aim of creating a community for children of first responders
2. Challenging Negative Thoughts and Practicing Gratitude for Mental Health
- Importance of mental health for children of first responders
- Ways to challenge negative thoughts
- Role of gratitude in mental health
3. Holiday Challenges and Support within the First Responder Community
- Balancing work schedules and family time during holidays
- Jennifer’s experience of her father’s colleagues covering shifts
- Significance of community support among first responders
4. Personal Experiences Growing up with First Responder Parents
- Impact of parents' careers on childhood experiences
- Jennifer's reflection on not knowing which version of her father would show up
- Ashlee's structured upbringing influenced by her father's work mentality
- Positive relationships and unique experiences
- Jennifer’s pride in her dad’s role as a firefighter
- Ashlee's fond memories of 4th of July fireworks with her father
5. Resiliency
- Defining resiliency: Ability to pick oneself up after being knocked down
- Example from Jennifer's work with adolescents at a military base
- Importance of resiliency for children and individuals in high-stress jobs
6. Resiliency and Gratitude in First Responder Families
- Discussing how gratitude aids in building resiliency
- Drawing insights from hosts' own childhood experiences
7. Future Episodes and Audience Engagement
- Hosts' intention to provide more insight into resiliency
- Invitation to listeners to engage with social media pages
- Teasing more stories and experiences related to being children of first responders
8. Conclusion
- Recap of main points discussed
- Emphasis on open conversation about experiences of children of first responders
- Encouraging audience engagement and providing support for listeners
This podcast does not contain medical / health advice. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment and should not be relied on as health or personal advice. The information contained in this podcast is for general information purposes only. The information is provided by Training Velocity LLC and while we endeavour to keep the information up to date and correct, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the Podcast or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained in the podcast for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such information is strictly at your own risk. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOR LIABLE FOR ANY ADVICE, COURSE OF TREATMENT, DIAGNOSIS OR ANY OTHER INFORMATION, SERVICES OR PRODUCTS THAT YOU OBTAIN THROUGH THIS PODCAST. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. |
Jennifer [00:00:07]:
Hi. I'm Jennifer Woosley Sailor. I'm a licensed professional clinical counselor and the kid of a cop, and this is the podcast when the call hits home.
Ashlee [00:00:16]:
Hey, everyone. It's Ashlee Gethner.
Jennifer [00:00:18]:
I'm a licensed clinical social worker, and I'm also a child of a police officer. And welcome back. Welcome back. This podcast is again about kids of first responders, about our experience. We also wanna take our professionalism to talk a little bit about ways that we can help as families of first responders.
Ashlee [00:00:38]:
Yeah. So I think it's really important today. We wanted to share I know the first time we talked, we talked a little bit about what this podcast was gonna look like and things we wanna get into, but I think it's really important for us to start sharing our story a little bit with you guys, because, again, we really want this to be a community for children of first responders. And we hope we can, you know, recognize that there's a lot of similarities between us. And so it's important for us to show you guys too where we come from, how we grew up, and what we feel it was like for us. So
Jennifer [00:01:08]:
Yeah. So today is really about more of our experiences, but we also have some things for you guys towards the end. But I think it's important, you know, time is valuable that you get to know us a little bit as we start this podcast in the first couple episodes. So we have some questions, and we just wanna get to know each other, I think, a little bit more too Yeah. Absolutely. As the kids are first responders. So, Ashlee, we'll just kinda start with you, if you don't mind. Tell us a little bit about your childhood and what it was like for you growing up in a house of a first responder.
Ashlee [00:01:40]:
Such a loaded question. I'm so excited that we're doing this podcast because everyone's gonna hear it for a while now. Right? Each time, we're just gonna feed into more and more. But I do always like to start by saying that me and my dad are pretty much best friends. So, definitely, growing up, it was it was different. But as we come into adulthood you know, he was a parent as I was growing up. But as we got into adulthood, I really couldn't do this thing of life without him. So him and I are really, really close, and I think that's just important.
Ashlee [00:02:08]:
I like to say that before I go into my story because I would never want my dad or anyone to be like, oh my gosh. You know? He really is great. He did 29 years as a police officer. He's now retired. And I think you do recognize that you just you just grow up different. So growing up as a child of a first responder, what was it like for me? It was great. You know, there's amazing parts of it. There were some difficult parts of it.
Ashlee [00:02:34]:
And I think that one of the best things about growing up as a first responder's child is being so prideful. I remember just being so it's it's honestly a little bit of a weird feeling because at first you don't recognize.
Jennifer [00:02:47]:
Right?
Ashlee [00:02:47]:
Like, when you're a kid, you're so naive and like that. It's like, oh, here's my badge or take a picture with my vest on or, you know, and you're like, yes. But you you're you're used to it. You're like, yeah. Is it doesn't every kid take
Jennifer [00:02:59]:
a picture with their dad's, you know, vest and
Ashlee [00:03:02]:
stuff like that. So it's it's funny because you grow up at first being like, this is normal. Right. Like, this isn't this what everyone does? But it's very unique, and it's very something that you're prideful of once you start to recognize, oh, no. This is a profession that's that's different. Absolutely. So there was a lot of pride to it growing up. I remember being very excited when I was younger to go with him, learn from him, do ride alongs with him, just be exposed to it in any way.
Ashlee [00:03:27]:
And I think so at home, it was a little bit challenging because I mean, shift work is hard.
Jennifer [00:03:34]:
Absolutely. You
Ashlee [00:03:35]:
know, they're for first responders, it's not it's not the Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. Some of them have that luxury. Right? Some of them get to that place. They don't start in that place, but they get to that place.
Jennifer [00:03:46]:
To get to that place. Yeah.
Ashlee [00:03:47]:
Yeah. And so you're you're very much so dependent on that other parent a lot of the time, and I think that's an interesting aspect because as a child of a first responder, I feel like I had to learn, like, okay. This is how mom likes things. But when dad is home
Jennifer [00:04:02]:
Girl, you're getting into it. Yeah. Yeah.
Ashlee [00:04:04]:
When dad is home and when he's free, I have to kind of adjust myself to what he is looking for as
Jennifer [00:04:12]:
well. Yeah. It's It's interesting that you point that out. You know, I think I shared last time that I have gotten the honor to work with military members and their families, and that is a big cycle and deployment when a soldier leaves and the routines of the house when there's one parent and the soldier returning. And, you know, I think it's so interesting being a kid of a first responder because our experience is so much Like, there's some parallels, but such on, like, a daily, monthly basis. Like so I think a little bit of my experience growing up, and I love what you said. They're actually just about I mean, he is dad first. I think that, you know, I didn't have a police officer for a father.
Jennifer [00:04:58]:
I had a father who happened to be a police officer or first responder, and I think that has to be acknowledged and what my dad was like as a parent. And then you just get that spicy seasoning of being a first responder in the middle of it. And, yeah, I think shift work is a big part of that, you know, recognizing, like, is dad gonna be home for dinner tonight? Is he not? And then as I got a little bit older, my dad would work nights this month and workdays this month. So, like, every month, you're kinda starting over a new routine, and that is you know, it's fine. I'm adjusted. It's not a big deal, but it is something. Right? And what that pressure also holds sometimes for the parent that is at home trying to keep the routine a little bit more, I guess, regulated in terms of the, yeah, the structure of the school day, after school, you know, their job, that kinda hiccup. But you did a ride along with your dad? Oh, I did several ride alongs with
Ashlee [00:06:04]:
my dad. It was one of my
Jennifer [00:06:06]:
save those because
Ashlee [00:06:08]:
Yeah. Yeah. We
Jennifer [00:06:08]:
could yeah. Those are fun.
Ashlee [00:06:09]:
Those are sweet stories. Some good stories.
Jennifer [00:06:12]:
These are good. I mean, I have a really long story with my dad, but it's definitely, like, an accident.
Ashlee [00:06:18]:
I feel like we should keep them hanging on for these ones because there's some good stuff you can get into when you are a child of a first responder. Oh, and we will. Yeah. Well, my brain kind of when we're talking about shift work and we're talking about this kind of change, my brain goes to a little bit about holidays Mhmm. Because my dad worked so many of them, and we had to shift our days to, like Yeah. You know, make sure he got to be involved. So I remember at one point when he was finally on day shift, so his shift started at, like, 6 or something, we would wake up at super early, like, 5 AM to open the gifts from Santa. Oh.
Ashlee [00:07:01]:
Because we you know, my dad wanted to see us open our gifts from Santa. So we, like, shifted to make sure he got to do that. Right? Or, like, I was just a few Christmases ago now. So about a year ago, 2 years ago, we were all at my uncle's house, and now he's retired so it's amazing to be able to spend the holidays with him. We were watching old home videos, and he was there in his uniform. Aw. Because he was able to stop in Yeah. And see us at my grandma's house, like my grandparents' house, opening our gifts.
Ashlee [00:07:29]:
And you'd you don't think about that as well, which always makes me, now that we're on this journey, also think about, like, firefighter, children, and and because they don't really have that luxury as much, you know, being on shift. And so that'll be interesting for us to learn too.
Jennifer [00:07:44]:
Absolutely. And I think that that's important to keep in mind, and we definitely wanna keep in mind with that, especially also our dispatcher families and and, you know, their work and hours. And I know different places have different shifts. You know? And they can move within their career what their shifts look like for sure. Yeah. I do. It's funny you bring that up about holidays. Like, I remember my dad being in a lot of holidays, and I remember, you know, being older and kinda understanding the concept a little bit more of, like, oh, how was dad able to be, our holidays? And he just said, you know, the guys that didn't have kids yet usually, you know, were understanding and would help out and, you know, and then when they would get you know, you kinda pay it forward too.
Jennifer [00:08:31]:
So I think that that was a little bit why my dad was able to make it to those holidays some because, you know, he'd paid it for before my brother and I showed up. So Such a fair point.
Ashlee [00:08:42]:
Such a fair point. And I think too to learn from a first responder because inevitably
Jennifer [00:08:46]:
Mhmm.
Ashlee [00:08:47]:
All of them have missed 1, if not a lot more than one. Right? So And sometimes interesting.
Jennifer [00:08:53]:
Holidays. Sometimes it's the baseball game. Right? Or play or the show that's in the, like, middle of the week. You know, those kind of things are probably more prevalent because, you know, the holidays are kinda start out in the calendar and maybe the school play or the baseball game.
Ashlee [00:09:10]:
As a first responder's child now, did you ever feel some sort of way if you recognized your dad wasn't there?
Jennifer [00:09:18]:
I mean, I'm gonna give my dad some, like, gold stars kudos because there's not too much that I didn't feel like he was at. Yeah. Probably what he, like, missed a little bit more of was maybe, like, the family cookout or the you know, there wasn't necessarily a birthday party that I felt like he missed or maybe, you know, he liked me better than my brother, and he missed all my brother ones, but he was definitely at mine. So I don't think that that's necessarily something. Yeah. I'm trying to think also just that about, you know, recognizing maybe what was a little bit different when you had. Was there something for you there?
Ashlee [00:10:02]:
No. For sure. I mean, my I my dad was the same way, so I'm pretty lucky in that he may he did his best to make it. And I never really thought about it being a negative experience if he wasn't there. You just kinda as a kid, were always like, work. You know? Like, of course, he has to work or, like you know? So it was just a question I had for you because I do think that it's awesome that our dads were very involved like that and weren't able to, but I know now there's so many departments where overtime is such a big deal, and it's not the same anymore. And so I I do think there's Especially. A lot of children of first responders out there that might start to resent that or just feels different Yeah.
Ashlee [00:10:39]:
Because their parent, whether it be their dad or their mom, aren't able to make these things. And I do think that's unique for us.
Jennifer [00:10:46]:
Yeah.
Ashlee [00:10:46]:
I also think for me growing up, you know, one of the biggest challenges of being a child of a first responder I say this all the time, and we're gonna dive into it deeper. It would was really just, to me, the the responsibility aspect. So I call them unrealistic expectations, but everybody has their own maybe take on it. I think that was something just as a child of a first responder that that was different was this, my dad was very, like, no. You have chores.
Jennifer [00:11:16]:
Mhmm.
Ashlee [00:11:17]:
You have school, and your grades better be Right. Where they need to be. You are respectful.
Jennifer [00:11:23]:
You
Ashlee [00:11:23]:
are a respectful kid. Like, we were it was pretty strict. You know? And that was something that I also thought was very normal until I became an adult. Right. And recognize that that's, not that it's not for some families, but just that it was more for for us. But that routine of being an officer and what they have to do, I think, plays into that. They bring that home. And they kinda have that same mentality at home.
Ashlee [00:11:46]:
Like, you do things a certain way. Mhmm. You know, you get it done.
Jennifer [00:11:50]:
Right.
Ashlee [00:11:50]:
You know, you be on time for things, that very structured, on the ball type attitude personality, keep it going. So that's what it was like, you know, for me growing up was that it was great. There was definitely some moments where it was very strict. I will be honest. I think he would not care at all that I say that he was. You you had to follow those things. And if you didn't Right. Then you were you were getting it.
Ashlee [00:12:17]:
Right? Like, you were gonna hear it. He was a little bit, in my opinion, again, probably different for him, but I do think you would agree a little bit of the quick diffuse. So if it wasn't done if it wasn't done appropriately, if I was disrespectful, that was not gonna stand in our household. You know? So a little bit of, like, both where I thought it was it was it was great, and then there was moments of, like, you just they see the world so differently. And so as a child of a first responder, I felt like I had to maneuver differently Yeah. To make sure that I didn't hate to use this word. I'm gonna use this word. I'm sorry.
Ashlee [00:12:52]:
But trigger something different inside of them. Mhmm. And and I think that's where when I learned from other children or first responders that shell of, like, walking on egg like, that term I mean walking on eggshells come from Yeah. Where they feel as though when their first responder parent comes home, it's tense a little bit at first. And yeah. I felt some anxieties for sure of, like, did we get everything done we were supposed to get done? Like, is he gonna be upset when he comes home? Is he gonna be okay? And when you're a kid, you don't realize that there's so much behind the reason why they come home differently. Yep. You just are so nervous to make sure or I was to make sure that everything was okay.
Ashlee [00:13:29]:
So he came home, and he was happy.
Jennifer [00:13:31]:
Yeah. No. I think that's great, and I think it says a lot that you're willing to share. And I think this is really maybe where the seed was planted of this podcast is us just having a natural conversation about what it was like for us being the kid of a first responder. And, yeah, like, all the good stuff is there, and yet we do wanna talk about some of these deeper experiences that maybe weren't always the best. And we share them to say, maybe this is something that you're experiencing. We share this to say, like, hey. This is what we experience, and maybe you want that to be a little bit different if you're a first responder for when the call gets home, when you're headed home.
Jennifer [00:14:13]:
For me, it was definitely and and just to go really deep here, you know, thinking about myself as a kid. And just not knowing who is gonna show up. Is it my fun loving dad that's gonna crack a joke and be silly and, you know, ask you if you're going to the movies, when you pick a wedgie because you're picking your seat. Like, you know, if it's a classic dad joke, or is it gonna be somebody that's just really irritable and you just not know what's gonna set them off. And as a kid, I just thought that was my dad, and he's moody and, well,
Ashlee [00:14:52]:
you know agree more.
Jennifer [00:14:54]:
And and that being really hard. And then now as an adult and just I'm so lucky for the opportunity to get to work with, the population that I get to work with, but just recognizing, oh, my gosh, what my dad had to see at his job and see people not on their best day, and people will be jerks. And, you know, unfortunately, seeing some really despicable stuff in nature that you probably are gonna come home and be irritated.
Ashlee [00:15:25]:
And some of the stuff probably wasn't even those deep
Jennifer [00:15:27]:
of things. Sometimes it's maybe just like, oh, I got a bunch of paperwork I gotta get done, or I have court and that's stressful. Or I work shift and I don't get a lot of sleep. So I think it's just a multitude of things. And listeners, we just appreciate your ability to hear us out when we kinda talk about these things, and these are our experiences. This is not a blanket. Every kid of our first responder has this experience. The other piece of this is that I'm a parent.
Jennifer [00:15:57]:
I'm here at a whole times. I'm a parent. I I'm not perfect a 100% of the time. So this is not a shame or blame. It's just wanting us to be really honest because we know the power Yeah. Of that.
Ashlee [00:16:10]:
Yeah. I agree. I agree with that. And what a good point to make of, like, there is some normalcy to just being, like Yep. Absolutely. Before, you know, the job.
Jennifer [00:16:19]:
Well and I think I'm just gonna point this out. Actually, we kinda hit record and started in, and my wheels turned a little bit slippier. But I was just thinking about, like, being a kid and, oh, it's just my dad. And then the saying, oh, it's my dad, and he happens to be a first responder. And that, like, transition and the growing of that, and now seeing my dad as a parent now that I'm a parent. You know, there's just so many layers to that, and I think that that's important to point out. Yeah. I feel like I had another point, but it left my brain.
Ashlee [00:16:56]:
Sorry. It's okay. No. But I do
Jennifer [00:16:58]:
As we're, like, going heavy and going deep, I do wanna just shift us a little bit. Yeah. There was a
Ashlee [00:17:04]:
Absolutely. No.
Jennifer [00:17:05]:
But yeah. So with, you know, like, this stuff, but what is your favorite part about being the kid of a cop being a kid of a first responder? Which what's, like I I don't know. What was your favorite part about growing up?
Ashlee [00:17:20]:
This sounds so silly, but I've been thinking about this aspect. There are so many things, just so many fun things. But one of the things that I honestly cherish so much is festivals. So
Jennifer [00:17:33]:
Oh. If
Ashlee [00:17:33]:
my dad was a way that, like, if my dad did work a holiday, we could be with with him.
Jennifer [00:17:39]:
Mhmm.
Ashlee [00:17:40]:
And so the 4th July Okay. It was always a big deal to us, but he always worked the 4th fest
Jennifer [00:17:46]:
Okay. Where his about the 4th fest.
Ashlee [00:17:48]:
Yeah. So it was at his like, that was one of the biggest festivals his
Jennifer [00:17:52]:
where he patrolled was bad. So So it'd be derby for a little
Ashlee [00:17:56]:
Yes. Right. Yeah. So, like, the 4th festival was something, and obviously, it was for the 4th July. So they had, like, fireworks and things like that, but he always worked it. Mhmm. And as a kid growing up, we would always get to go so that we were with him. Right.
Ashlee [00:18:11]:
And then that we could enjoy the fest too. And my family lived in the area that he patrolled, like, around it, so all of
Jennifer [00:18:17]:
us would go. Oh, wow.
Ashlee [00:18:18]:
Yeah. So that was always exciting. But my I think something that made me feel so special and it was always my favorite part was whether he was on, like, duty or off, it was rare for him to be off for the 4th fest. We they sectioned off a piece for just the first responder families, so firefighters and police, which were, like, directly under. So if you were laying down, you were, like, directly under the fireworks show.
Jennifer [00:18:40]:
Oh, Oh, cool.
Ashlee [00:18:40]:
And so it made me feel really special because no one else could go under there but our family. VIP. And then my dad would be able to during that moment of the fireworks if nothing was obviously transpiring. He was doing his job first, would be able to come with us girls and, like, lay down and watch the fireworks with us. Mhmm. And that's something that I just will never forget. It's something that I loved. And then my sister ended up having her like, my niece.
Jennifer [00:19:05]:
Uh-huh.
Ashlee [00:19:05]:
And she even got to do that with him. You know? So it's something that I I just really loved. It was one of the precious memories of being like when I just felt special, I'm not gonna lie. Like, oh, shit.
Jennifer [00:19:17]:
My god. Think about those sacrifices that first responder families make, like you said, with the holidays and the scheduling changes and, you know, sometimes the hard job to have a moment to feel like, hey. We're special, I think, is important. So I think that's beautiful. Yeah.
Ashlee [00:19:36]:
What about you? I feel like I have
Jennifer [00:19:37]:
a couple. It's so funny you said that about, like, the event because I didn't get VIP to Derby as a child. Well, that
Ashlee [00:19:45]:
didn't happen. Derby sounds intense. Like, I It was not. Now that I've been in
Jennifer [00:19:51]:
Kentucky a first responder's favorite time of year in Kentucky. Because there's a lot of work to be done with so many people coming. But I would say it's definitely though the events. Like, my dad, you you know, would work off duty, and so we'd get to go to a basketball game or a football game and, you know, things like that. I think we're really special. I think my dad's connection to, like, the first responder community. You know, I got to ride in a helicopter, you know, like, that kind of stuff that, you know, we got to experience because I think of what he did. Also, like, Santa was pretty baller.
Jennifer [00:20:29]:
Like, I'm in a fire truck. Yeah. And I think that they made a point to do things special. I don't know if that happens. Well, I take that back. I know it happens today because kinda like you said, my kiddo got to experience that with Santa and, you know, them really trying to treat, 1st just one of our kids, like, make it extra special for them. Yeah. And then the one thing I mean, I don't mean to be too cheesy, but I do think it's true.
Jennifer [00:20:56]:
I think one of my favorite parts is having, my dad do something so important to our community. I mean, you know, I I do think it's a pretty selfless act to be a first responder. And so I think that that but, I mean, that's much more reflective. Well, you know, I say much more reflective. I do remember being proud of my dad when I was young. You know, he came to school on career day when I was, like, in 1st grade. Love that. And being like, that's my dad.
Jennifer [00:21:31]:
And, you know, I saw him in his uniform every day, but, like, seeing my classmates see him in his uniform, and then they ask really questions about his gun. But, you know, that's a first grader sport.
Ashlee [00:21:41]:
That is definitely when I recognized it was different. Let me tell y'all. When friends come over and they're like, so there's a lot of
Jennifer [00:21:47]:
guns in this house, and you're like, oh, there's guns? There's gun what? Oh. Oh. Yeah. So but yes. So to be a little bit cheesy, though. But it's very true. Like, there's there's truth in that case that I just threw out there. Like, I was very proud of what he did and how he helped others.
Jennifer [00:22:07]:
Absolutely. I think that's super important to recognize. Right?
Ashlee [00:22:11]:
So I think one of the biggest things here is that we not only wanna share this personal side of us, but we have worked real hard to create our own careers in which we are now therapists. Mhmm. And something we wanna make sure we're blending in very nicely for everybody listening here is just different tools and different aspects that we find really helpful for families and specifically now first responder families. So one of the big topics that we're gonna be covering is this notion of resiliency. And so, Jennifer, I ask you, what is resiliency, or what would that what what would that definition look like?
Jennifer [00:22:49]:
Well, I think that's a good question, and I think it's important to start there with, you know, how we really want to offer something with some meat potatoes here. You know? Like, Ashlee said not just to talk about ourselves. Yeah. But what is resiliency? You know, resiliency when you really just water down, boil down definition of resiliency, it really is that, you know, when you get knocked down, picking yourself back up. You know, I worked at a military base, and we worked with adolescents at the time. And the military loves the word resiliency, and they should because it's an incredible one. But we have this group, and with the group, we're like, okay, kids. You get to name this group.
Jennifer [00:23:36]:
And it's a resiliency group, but you get to name it. And the kids came up with the name Rocky, the Rocky group. And I was like, Rocky, what are you talking about? And they're like, you know, Rocky, he gets knocked down and he gets back up. And it was just like, oh, like, it was just great. Like, the kids, like, creative expression of that. But, again, that is just such a, like, raw boiled down version of what resiliency is. And and as much as that sounds great, when you get knocked down, you just get back up, and we all wanna do that. But I think that there's a lot of nuance.
Jennifer [00:24:11]:
I think the reality is we can get knocked down, get back up, and get knocked back down right again. And we can be knocked down and getting ready to get up and get knocked down again. And so resiliency is something that can be really hard. But what's great about it is that it can happen, and we just wanna talk more about that. Like, what resiliency is, how we create it, how do we nurture it in our kids? Yeah. How do we nurture it in ourselves? And I will say the most important thing about resiliency, I think, oftentimes we're sold that it's just you got it or you don't. And when in reality, resiliency is something that we can all create and work towards in ourselves. And we just wanna continue with this podcast, you know, when the call hits home.
Jennifer [00:25:03]:
It's such an important factor in children's life. It's such an important factor in people who have high stress jobs. And so we really just wanna talk about resiliency more. Yeah.
Ashlee [00:25:13]:
And I think it's important to note too that our plan here is to provide more physical stuff for Resilience Sleep too, and so you can always follow us on our social media pages. When the call hits home, you know, we have that Facebook page. We have an Instagram page. And so we can you can always follow there for the physical stuff.
Jennifer [00:25:30]:
Absolutely. And we really want to build this community. And maybe we'll talk more. And and as we grow, we wanna hear your experiences of resiliency or what questions you have about resiliency, all those things. But we wanna give you all the information we have, which I will say with both of us together. I mean, actually, you got a doctorate degree. So I think we have a lot to offer you. Yeah.
Ashlee [00:25:57]:
Absolutely. What was for you? Right? Just because we're sharing our personal stories today, I think we will get more in-depth with resiliency as we progress through this, like, podcast. But for you being a child of a first responder, how did you how did you build your own resilience here? Did you have ways in which you tried to or you when you reflect upon it now, were a pretty resilient child? Or what helped you be that?
Jennifer [00:26:24]:
I I do feel very lucky that I feel like I have some resiliency skills. But I think in childhood, you know, I have a 5 year old, and, you know, we're getting ready for kindergarten and all those kind of things. And as much as I would love to just drill him with flashcards about the alphabet, you know, learning for children is really about play and experiential things. And I think that that's important when you think about your kids is what their experience is. And I think for me, an incredible resilient resilient seed that was planted from my parents was gratitude. And I think gratitude is kind of a building block to resiliency. It's not the only one, but it's a part of 1. And my dad used to work off duty at a mission, and part of that, you know, would feed the homeless.
Jennifer [00:27:20]:
And, of course, I was older. I was not 5 years old. When it would take me through that, I would be clear. But I think that it was helpful for me to recognize, like, oh, I have a lot of things that a lot of other people don't, and then I'm very lucky. And so, you know, again, that's not the only resilient skill by any means, but I think that that was a helpful thing for me is just having some gratitude kind of instilled. And I like how you answer that question. Yeah.
Ashlee [00:27:49]:
And I like how you saw that, you know, as you were younger through the, you know, the lent with your dad not being on duty. Right? I like that you learned that even without that aspect. And then I think about that too with mine being on duty, this notion of, like, I remember being able to go to, like, shop with a cop Mhmm. For around the holiday times and recognizing just how fortunate I was as a child and things like that. And so I think gratitude is huge when we're talking about building resiliency within
Jennifer [00:28:20]:
somebody. Absolutely. And I absolutely will even go a little bit further from a place of, like, mental health. And if we think about, you know, an anxious thought or a depressed thought and stuff like that, something like, oh, but what do I have can sometimes ground us a little bit more.
Ashlee [00:28:39]:
Yeah. I always always fall back on in my mental health world of, like, we do have to challenge Yep. Some of those thoughts, those anxious negative thoughts that pop up, and they pop up for everybody. So they're you know, like, they just happen, and I think you demonstrated that very well. Like, gratitude is a great way to challenge those thoughts. Yep. And to say, but what is going right or what do I have?
Jennifer [00:28:59]:
Yeah. Right? So And, listen, some mornings, all it was was that nice cup of coffee before the day got crazy. But, you know, it's gonna be and we're gonna talk more about this and and get into it. But, you know, we just really wanted to start with, you know, what is resiliency and talk more about what it means to build it, to grow it, to encourage it. Yeah. Absolutely. There's gonna be so many topics we're gonna talk about, so I'm relieved about it. Yeah.
Jennifer [00:29:26]:
Well but I will annoy you guys because I will talk a lot about resiliency.
Ashlee [00:29:32]:
And foundation. Right? Like, it's like a big part of how not only for the individuals listening or for the children of first responders listening. Right. The parent aspect, like, we talked about this so much, Jennifer, that it encompasses what we need to do to just help in general, whether it be on the individual level or the family level Yeah. The parenting level. Right? Like, you you need to learn resiliency. Right.
Jennifer [00:29:55]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, is there anything else we wanna cover today? Think we are gonna cover anything else today. Okay.
Ashlee [00:30:03]:
We're gonna leave it. We have to leave them suspended Yeah. And the littlest bits. You know?
Jennifer [00:30:08]:
But, also, thank you guys so much for your time today, and we'll talk to you next time.
Ashlee [00:30:12]:
Yeah. And just don't forget that when the call hits home, Jennifer and I are here for
Jennifer [00:30:16]:
you. Check it out.