How Practicing Gratitude Builds Resilience for First Responder Families

Jennifer [00:00:00]:
The purpose of gratitude is to help that other part of this, which is literally our mindset. Right. Our cognitive distortions and. And trying to change those to feel better.

Jennifer [00:00:10]:
Yeah, And I agree with that. And I think, you know, I do want to hold space. When you are seeing humanity at its worst or responding to a horrible accident or just seeing those things, it is going to leave an impression on your mindset. And I think that's why that work to kind of skill build and, man, it might feel really hard is so important. And, you know, skill building isn't. Well, I did that once, and I didn't change anything, so I'm done with it. No, skill building is doing something over and over and over again to really build that skill. Welcome back to the podcast.

Jennifer [00:00:51]:
I'm Jennifer.

Ashlee [00:00:53]:
And I'm Ashlee.

Jennifer [00:00:54]:
With a different voice this week at. Right, Ashlee.

Ashlee [00:00:57]:
Sorry, everyone. I don't know what's going on. So we're just.

Jennifer [00:01:00]:
It wasn't from screaming for the Bears, so we can, like, rule that out because, man, you've had some victories.

Ashlee [00:01:06]:
It didn't help. Well, we are on another victory. Well, now. Yeah, no, it's Monday still victory Monday. So that never does. That never helps. But, yeah, we're losing it. The voice is just not wanting to stay these days.

Ashlee [00:01:20]:
Welcome to the winter weather.

Jennifer [00:01:23]:
Yeah, but you're gonna make it. It's just us today. Our special guest is ourselves. So that's our special guest today. And in prep, I was like, oh, you know, what are we going to talk about? And then. Oh, duh. Next week is Thanksgiving. So I am.

Ashlee [00:01:39]:
Wait a minute. It's next week.

Jennifer [00:01:40]:
It is next week.

Ashlee [00:01:41]:
Oh, okay, everybody. I thought we had two weeks or something like that. That's wild.

Jennifer [00:01:47]:
Oh, my gosh.

Ashlee [00:01:49]:
Wait a minute. Yeah, because it's Monday.

Jennifer [00:01:52]:
Wow.

Ashlee [00:01:53]:
Welcome to the show. Okay. Yes.

Jennifer [00:01:56]:
I'm sorry, I might need to do a quick. Can you tell your name, your date of birth? Like, can I do a real quick assessment? Like, are you.

Ashlee [00:02:04]:
So, like, I feel like I have to tell everyone that I've been gone. Like Earth. Like, yeah, just gone. So, like, I. I feel like I'm so behind in everything. I don't even know what's happening right now. But I did not think I was next week. So, like, gratitude.

Ashlee [00:02:20]:
I'm thankful you told me.

Jennifer [00:02:22]:
There you go. Well, and you traveled on a Monday and a conference on a weekend. It is kind of like, what's up, down? Like, it's hard to. I could understand that for sure.

Ashlee [00:02:31]:
Who does that?

Jennifer [00:02:32]:
Yeah. I will say Thanksgiving is My favorite holiday. I love Thanksgiving. It's not just because of the food. Like, I just think thankfulness, gratitude is just a really incredible thing and tool, especially when it comes to resiliency. So I wanted to talk about that. And then I think you had some other stuff like from your conference that you wanted to talk about. So I think that's just kind of it for us today that we were going to cover.

Ashlee [00:02:59]:
Yeah. And that's what I love, is that like when our worlds collide like this. So one of my very favorite speakers at this conference, this was all he talked about was gratitude and our perception. Even as law enforcement. Right. And first responders in general, our perception going into every day really controls a lot of the outcome to things. And yet a lot of us decide to have a negative perception on stuff and then wonder why life around us is negative.

Jennifer [00:03:25]:
Well, and that's one thing that I'm sure everybody's probably sick of me talking about my military resiliency training. But one thing is I think sometimes we're not even trying to have a negative mindset. It's just a negative bias. Like our brains are wired, you know, to look out for the saber tooth tiger, to not eat the poisonous berries. That's why all the news is bad news. That is kind of a natural like survival instinct wiring. And so it takes takes a step to do that, to have that more like gratitude positive mindset, if you will. And one thing that like again is from the MRT training is hunt the good stuff.

Jennifer [00:04:06]:
I feel like maybe I've talked about that on here before though.

Ashlee [00:04:08]:
We'll retalk about it because we've been on this for a while, so people need to hear it. Right.

Jennifer [00:04:12]:
Like, but hunt the good stuff is always like a great thing. And again, Thanksgiving is of that where you just name what you're thankful for and hunt the good stuff. You're just looking about what you enjoyed about your day. And the goal is to actually like sit. It's not just to like, well, I had a good cup of coffee, traffic wasn't bad. I got my work done, I got home. The goal is actually to kind of sit and write down. And you know, write down can be pen and paper.

Jennifer [00:04:41]:
It can be your notes app, you know, writing down three things that were positive or three things that you're grateful.

Ashlee [00:04:48]:
For about your day.

Jennifer [00:04:49]:
So taking the time to write it down and then with that looking at what about it made it good. Like it's always nice to start the day without a lot of traffic. Right. What I always Appreciate is that question of how did that happen? You know, did it happen because I got up 10 minutes earlier or maybe it happened because I was running a little bit late and some of the traffic had moved, you know, just whatever that is. And so it's that idea of kind of sitting deeper with these things. And I think it's the same with the gratitude, you know, when we are sitting with what we're thankful for. Not just, I'm thankful for my family, I'm thankful for my friends. It's what about them? You know, what about that is something that we're grateful for.

Jennifer [00:05:30]:
And if we're in gratitude, we are not in an anxious mind. So if we're thinking about what we have, because anxiety is about that space and time in the future and if we can be present with what we do have and obtain in this moment. So that's the kind of hunt, the good stuff, the resiliency and why I was like, oh, this is a perfect time to take it, to talk about this with the holiday.

Ashlee [00:05:52]:
And I love that and I love how you just like, actually worded all that. It's super insightful and a huge tool for our listeners. Right. And I think that I've just come off of four days of hearing first responders say it's hard for me to see the good in life when all I see is bad.

Jennifer [00:06:11]:
Right?

Ashlee [00:06:11]:
Or like when you don't think something is possible, but then you see it firsthand. And, and that notion of, like, we had this huge talk about gratitude and the positive mindset and honestly, like, motivation and this whole thing is, it's just like I'm, I'm trying, but I, I don't even realize at this point that I don't do that. Like, all I see is negative. And I try to go out with my family, but all I'm doing is scanning the whole time. What if somebody comes in here and does something? What if. Right. And so I think people forget, like, or they just don't know which I didn't know either. And I don't know.

Ashlee [00:06:44]:
I'm full of facts. People will fact check me one day and we're going to get yelled at. But. And I've probably said it, but I'll say it a million times over because it just stuck with me that hard is that 90% of our, like, happiness and things like that actually come from our thought process and 10% comes from what we do. And that's wild because we sit on this show too. Like, and as therapists were like, hey, like Self care. Self care. Like, do the things you love.

Ashlee [00:07:06]:
Don't have the use to this and that. And while that's true, don't get me wrong, none of that goes away. So hold up, everybody, like, what the heck? The purpose of gratitude is to help that other part of this, which is literally our mindset. Right. Our cognitive distortions and trying to change those to feel better.

Jennifer [00:07:25]:
Yeah, And I agree with that. And I think, you know, I do want to hold space. When you are seeing humanity at its worst or responding to a horrible accident or just seeing those things, it is going to leave an impression on your mindset. And I think that's why that work to kind of skill build and man, it might feel really hard is so important. And, you know, skill building isn't. Well, I did that once and I didn't change anything. So I'm done with it. No, skill building is doing something over and over and over again to really build that skill.

Jennifer [00:08:04]:
And then I think to that point too, then we get into the territory of like, man, I can't ever do this. Like, well, then maybe this experience that you had at work is too much. And, like, we do need to go talk to a professional and explore options to save. Like, maybe there was a traumatic event that's happening that's kind of creating some dysregulation that maybe, you know. Well, I. I sit and journal for an hour, and gratitude's not really going to touch that for sure.

Ashlee [00:08:31]:
Yeah, absolutely. I think about the guests we've had on. Right. And like, our last episode was so incredibly powerful.

Jennifer [00:08:38]:
Oh, it was.

Ashlee [00:08:39]:
I was so grateful for that. Oh, my gosh, the story. Oh, it's like to be vulnerable, to talk about that was so powerful. And yet when I sit back and reflect on that. Sure. We didn't sit there and say, hey, tell us what you're grateful for now. Right. Like, we didn't specifically ask that question, but I challenge our listeners to go back and listen to that episode or listen to a few of them and identify the positives out of these horrific stories, because they are there.

Ashlee [00:09:06]:
I don't want our first responders to walk around feeling like they're not doing those things. They are. We just have to have that intentionality behind it sometimes.

Jennifer [00:09:13]:
Well, and I think you speak to that vulnerability. I think it can be like a practice and vulnerability exercise to name what we have. You know, I've worked with people that would have some fear about naming what's good, because fear of if I name it some, maybe that would be taken from Me or I wouldn't get to have those experiences. And so I do think that it's an act in vulnerability, but in a healthy way too, you know, that's not something you have to share with anybody. Nobody has to ever know that. And then on the other side of that too, like, I feel like you are always doing a great job of banging the drum for leadership. It's also a great thing to, like, incorporate in, in terms of, like, encouraging people that you're leading to say, hey, this is a practice that can be sometimes kind of helpful, you know. Yeah, well, and I think you think about where you are when you start a shift and where you are when you end a shift.

Jennifer [00:10:06]:
I mean, even for your conference, you know where you are when you started your conference to being like, worn out and what day is it at the end of stuff, it can be really hard for us to be at that place. And so sometimes it's a nice way to kind of say, like, here's something I do have control over because I don't know what I'm going to be walking into when it comes to work.

Ashlee [00:10:24]:
I'm so excited that you just brought up leadership. My nerdy heart. And I won't, I won't. I will go down it a little bit and back off. I thought my brain went, ooh, let's talk a little bit about, like, positive psychology. All those things. And yet what it comes back to is trying to reel it in because everyone's going to be like, ashley, we did not ask for a six hour episode.

Jennifer [00:10:46]:
Your voice isn't gonna last long. Terrible.

Ashlee [00:10:49]:
And you just went on a rant for six hours. But when we were working on some advanced peer support in our department, positive psychology got brought up. And I was like, yes, this is so true. This is exciting. And we did have people of leadership in that room. And, you know, one of them was very open to be like, oh, man. Like, that's not my style. My style is not to be like, hey, you did a really good job on this.

Ashlee [00:11:15]:
My style is to be like, hey, we need to work on this. Right? And yet he was like, I don't purposely do that, but I think, you know, like, he's like, in my brain, I'm helping, like, I'm identifying areas. But I didn't stop to think that I should probably be pointing out the good too, that they're doing.

Jennifer [00:11:33]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:11:33]:
I don't want innocent, but, like, in a way, innocent of like, yeah, I would never want people to feel like I'm being negative. I Just thought I was doing the right thing by educating them when I saw something that can be approved upon, which is very true in a leadership role.

Jennifer [00:11:48]:
Absolutely.

Ashlee [00:11:49]:
And yet the difference we can make in morale when we also balance that with identifying the good that's done too. And I think leadership plays a huge part in that. It starts from the top. If the top is doing that, the rest start to follow.

Jennifer [00:12:04]:
Right. Well, and again, I think that you're exactly right, that that's a very innocent thing. And I think that. I don't know. I grew up in a generation was a. You could do five things right, but you're going to be called out for the one thing you didn't do. Like, that's just. But I think that that leads him back to that kind of how human brains are wired.

Jennifer [00:12:23]:
It is that negative bias I need to, you know, if I'm an editor, I'm scanning the paper for the mistakes. I think that's again, like, how it's a wiring aspect. And I don't think that we have to say that's terrible. Like, no, like, that's an important thing. We want to find the mistakes. We want to see where the opportunities are to improve. But again, knowing with that as well, like celebrating somebody doing something is still a positive, I think from a leadership role too. And I also think this is a parenting thing as well.

Ashlee [00:12:57]:
Oh, my gosh, you just read my mind. My mind went straight to parenting.

Jennifer [00:13:01]:
Well, I think that there's a lot more, like research, you know, papers too. It's not just like, good job, it's okay. What. What about the task was good? You got all your reports in before the last second. Like, I really appreciate that. Makes my job easier when you do that. So thank you. I mean, it's just like naming what it is, not just good job.

Jennifer [00:13:26]:
And I think from a leadership standpoint, that does take a little bit more work. Again, that negative bias is just such an automated thing. And again, it's there for a reason. I don't want us to just like, harp on where for sure, a positive thing, a positive intent, a positive thought, it's two steps because the negative is an automatic. And so a positive has to take two steps. And I think it's the same in terms of leadership as well. It's going to take more effort to be like, hey, good job. Yeah, yeah.

Ashlee [00:13:57]:
And I do see how that translates to home. My dad, obviously, you know, I just. Right when he said that, like, my brain went to the prime example of like getting that report card and like, it's good. But there's that one B. And my dad would be like, why is that not an A?

Jennifer [00:14:12]:
You're so cute that you had one B. Like, okay.

Ashlee [00:14:14]:
Oh, no, no.

Jennifer [00:14:15]:
I don't know.

Ashlee [00:14:16]:
I probably had more than one B, but I didn't get good at school until, like, college, I swear. Ask. Ask.

Jennifer [00:14:23]:
Yeah.

Ashlee [00:14:23]:
I was a. I was. I hope children everyone go to. I was nice. I did not love high school. I did not love to go. And then all of a sudden, I left college, and I never stopped going. So I'm not sure what happened there, but that's what that reminded me of.

Ashlee [00:14:39]:
Right? It's just that notion of, like, oh, yeah, these grades are pretty good. But, like, what happened here? And you're like, right, dang it. Yeah, I can't get away with anything. And yet also, I could challenge myself on that too, though, because if we're talking about perception, that's a perception thing as well.

Jennifer [00:14:55]:
Right?

Ashlee [00:14:56]:
Because if my dad said, hey, good job here, but what happened with this B, couldn't that have been an A? I'm also just canceling out the fact that he did tell me I did a good job.

Jennifer [00:15:05]:
Exactly. You know, I'll actually. I'll give my dad credit. This is so classic. My dad. He could care less about the report card, and we weren't interested in that. But if I had a ball game, I would, in the car ride home, be like, okay, do you want to know what you did good first or what you need to work on first? You know? So I got a, like, positive, negative, you know, in terms of what I needed to work on again, the report card. We could care less about that.

Jennifer [00:15:32]:
But how did I do in sports?

Ashlee [00:15:34]:
Really needed to be that.

Jennifer [00:15:35]:
Yeah.

Ashlee [00:15:36]:
Honestly, come on now.

Jennifer [00:15:38]:
But I'll give him some credit. There was a positive and a negative that he was looking at when it came to those things, for sure. Oh, my gosh.

Ashlee [00:15:46]:
That's so funny. But, yes, I listened to the speaker the last day of the conference, who, again, just talked about our perception and, like, seeing the world in a different light and having to put that effort in. And actually, he spoke a lot about using humor to do that, which we know very well that first responders use humor a lot of the time. Sometimes it's very rough, but it's. It is. Laughter does heal the soul sometimes.

Jennifer [00:16:14]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:16:14]:
And so, like, he spoke a lot about that. And just. He did say. Just like we say, you know, hey, like, yeah, maybe you can jot down some of these more positive things or something. You are grateful for to help continue to show that side. Sometimes we have to take that step back and actually put the work in to be able to see it.

Jennifer [00:16:31]:
Yeah. And again, it's just like, it's not something that just happens overnight. And I think that by no means, this is, like, relatable to what our first responders go through. But, you know, I have had experiences in my field of feeling like, again, you're meeting people when they're not at their best and not doing well, and it can change your perspective. A past life, I worked with, like, teenagers that were in all kinds of trouble, and you kind of think, well, all teenagers are just troubled. And you forget, like, oh, I'm just looking at a. A small sample size in terms of what humanity has to offer. But it can be hard when that's where you spend so much of your time.

Jennifer [00:17:16]:
And so you do have to make some efforts to kind of see outside of that.

Ashlee [00:17:21]:
Yeah, for sure. Was there anything. I'm. I don't mean to, like, switch gears, but when we're speaking about being thankful. Right. I know both you and I, we talk often about how we do hold so much gratitude towards both, like, our families. You know, our dads obviously have been very gracious in our adventures in life and being open to talk about it. Was there anything that your family did growing up in terms of, like, Thanksgiving that was different or special, even with him working?

Jennifer [00:17:47]:
You know, it's so funny when I think of, like, my childhood Thanksgivings, obviously, like, family coming together. My mom comes from, like, a bigger family, and then my dad's extended family was bigger. And so that was always just fun. But also, I will say this Thanksgiving was always around my grandmother's birthday. So, like, I think that's probably another reason, because I think, like, I don't know, I definitely have my grandmother on a pedestal, as she should stay forever because she was a perfect human being. And so I think. When I think about that, I think about, like, celebrating her birthday and celebrating her, and I love that. Well, and she was just such a.

Jennifer [00:18:28]:
Such, like, heartbeat of our family in terms of. She was just definitely the embodiment of love. Like, just a loving. I love this talk about somebody that saw, like, the good in everybody kind of person. So I don't know that there's necessary traditions. We always went to where my parents are from in Western Kentucky, and your dad got pretty.

Ashlee [00:18:49]:
If I'm remembering correct, your dad was a little bit, like, he didn't have to miss as many holidays because of his positionings yeah.

Jennifer [00:18:56]:
Like, it was. In a way, I didn't remember him, like, not being there at Christmas or not being there at a Thanksgiving. Like, he probably wasn't there the whole break, but, like, on the holiday was there. So what about you guys? Would you guys do something special? Especially if you're doing.

Ashlee [00:19:10]:
Yeah. Yeah. So our. Mine's a little different. Like, my dad worked pretty much the bulk of them when I was. When he was in. So it's. I think, you know, it's hard, especially as we got older and finances are tight.

Ashlee [00:19:23]:
You work those holidays because you get some pay. Right?

Jennifer [00:19:26]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:19:26]:
But I will say it was something that I really loved. Even when he did have to work, they had. They always had. His department always had a football game. So, like, against each other, it is. Against fire. Maybe I forget if it was against fire, if it was against each other. Either way, I remember always being like, okay, so, like, don't come home if you didn't win the trophy.

Ashlee [00:19:48]:
I just don't. Like, we're not. We're winners in this household, and you need to step it up on Thanksgiving Day. And I really like that. I thought that was always so fun, like, to ask him, like, wait, who won or what happened? I mean, of course it's stinks to not have him there, but when he was there, it just made it that much more special. And. And now I'm thankful that he's retired and, oh, my God, Thanksgiving at his house now is so fun.

Jennifer [00:20:12]:
Of course.

Ashlee [00:20:13]:
But I. I just always, like, I loved Thanksgiving for that. Obviously, we're a big. I don't hide it very well, but we're a big football family.

Jennifer [00:20:20]:
Really.

Ashlee [00:20:21]:
I. No one would know. Although one day we're gonna do, like, when the call hits home trivia and like, hey, you win a prize if you know my favorite team, and if you don't, you're.

Jennifer [00:20:31]:
You're not gonna have about so many prizes.

Ashlee [00:20:34]:
Yeah, you're not listening. I just think about that, you know, in a lot of. I don't know, that I had to. When we were talking about, like, finding the good, I had to think about it for myself because I so easily could come on here and be like, well, my dad just, like, wasn't there a lot of the time and, like, whatever, you know, But I. But genuinely, I was excited when he did that. I was thankful that we had that experience and that it was fun. And I remember him even bringing home a trophy. Like, he literally brought home this, like, little.

Ashlee [00:21:01]:
So they really went all out. I thought it was A fun way to keep the, like, officers engaged and stuff, even when they're away from their families.

Jennifer [00:21:07]:
Yeah, I agree with that, too. And I know, like, for some families, it's like, well, I'll pick up Thanksgiving so I can make sure I can be there for Christmas. Or, yeah, I'll work New Year's because it's more important for me to be there for this holiday or this birthday and stuff like that. So I can see that. And that is kind of a cool way to keep people engaged, for sure.

Ashlee [00:21:28]:
Absolutely. Absolutely.

Jennifer [00:21:29]:
Did you ever get to go to the games?

Ashlee [00:21:32]:
I feel like I didn't. Now that we're talking about him, like, I don't know if I ever. I don't think so. Maybe. I mean, he might have a whole different. He's gonna listen to this and be like, yes, you did.

Jennifer [00:21:41]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:21:42]:
But, I mean, I just. I think, like, especially where we lived versus where he patrolled and Gotcha. It was kind of far. So it's like, I think I found. We would get up and, like, get ready to go to our Thanksgiving, you.

Jennifer [00:21:54]:
Know, like, it was too much travel in a day. I apologize. I mean, I just, you know, my dad was an officer in the city I lived in, so I forget sometimes that you had a little bit of, like, your dad had a commute, so.

Ashlee [00:22:06]:
Yeah, he moved us out to the boondocks. So why do you. I should put a poll out there for this, too. So random today, but whatever. We're just having a good time.

Jennifer [00:22:15]:
Like. Yeah.

Ashlee [00:22:16]:
Do you know how many times people are like, why do you have a Southern accent? And I'm like, I. I do. Like, I don't. And I get it all the time. And I'm like, oh, what? And I'm like, well, I grew up in Belvedere, Illinois. Like, I don't know, maybe because you're isolated. I don't know. We have our own language in this little city in the middle of Illinois.

Ashlee [00:22:36]:
I have no idea who has told.

Jennifer [00:22:38]:
You that you sound Southern.

Ashlee [00:22:40]:
Well, everybody. I hear all the time at this conference. I heard it probably four different times.

Jennifer [00:22:45]:
Really? Wow, that's so funny. I don't. I heard. I hear Chicago in you.

Ashlee [00:22:54]:
Sausage. You mean a sausage. But I will. I do want to bring us back to the conference because I want to share a little bit of something that happened.

Jennifer [00:23:05]:
Okay.

Ashlee [00:23:05]:
That I think children of first responders can relate to or. I hope so. It was. It was like a smack me in the face moment. And Jesus is going to bring us back to one thing, but here we go. So it was a very, very beautiful, powerful conference. It was. But it ended on Sunday at 11:45.

Ashlee [00:23:22]:
So, yes, I was in the audience a little bit anxious because I'm like, so kickoff's at noon, and, yeah, they're pushing it, but I was in Louisiana, so we're in New Orleans. And I Google, is there a place I could watch it? The hotel didn't have it. In fact, the audacity of the. The hotel to have the Green Bay game on. I was like, are you kidding me?

Jennifer [00:23:42]:
Oh, it's disgusting.

Ashlee [00:23:44]:
It's like my worst nightmare.

Jennifer [00:23:45]:
I mean, they were playing the New York G, weren't they?

Ashlee [00:23:48]:
Yeah, but. But, like, Green Bay, like, I know. So I find this bar, and it was literally, like, across the street from my hotel. Couldn't get any closer.

Jennifer [00:24:00]:
And it's a.

Ashlee [00:24:00]:
A Bears one. Like a Chicago. Yes.

Jennifer [00:24:03]:
What?

Ashlee [00:24:04]:
Yes.

Jennifer [00:24:04]:
Did you call ahead? No.

Ashlee [00:24:07]:
I was so excited. They had.

Jennifer [00:24:08]:
They.

Ashlee [00:24:08]:
They had other games on, but they had the Bears one playing with the audio to it as well. I'm blanking on the word, but. Long story short, there's a ton of people that I don't know, right? And I start interacting with people. What are you supposed to do? Other Bears to tons of other Bears fans and what have you. I come across this gentleman, nice guy, but definitely, like, all my senses from my dad kicked in.

Jennifer [00:24:31]:
Okay?

Ashlee [00:24:32]:
Everything where I was just like, oh, this may not be my. I feel a little nervous about this. But, like, I promise you, when I say probably was harmless, I don't want to. Nothing whatever. Like, nothing happened. But my point of this is to say that, like, holy, man, are we in. Great. Like, we are engraved to, like, remember these things.

Ashlee [00:24:51]:
My brain was like, okay, make sure you stay by everybody. Like, I always was scanning for who was coming in just to make sure. Like, just. And don't leave your drink. Don't leave. Right? Like, all these things. And in my head, I'm like, okay, this is what I could do to get out of this situation. This is what I could do if.

Ashlee [00:25:09]:
If I feel uncomfortable. You know what I mean? Like, I sat there for a moment. I kind of giggled to myself because I'm like, man, I just went to a whole conference about police officers. And, you know, but this all stems, like, from my dad and him always teaching me, you be aware. Be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of people and their intentions. You can't trust somebody you don't know. Right? Like, all those things that we harp on a little bit where we're like, you Guys are so crazy.

Ashlee [00:25:33]:
And over, like, just let us live really quickly. I was like, whoa, I'm in New Orleans by myself right now. This could not be a good thing. Right? But I was, like, so thankful that I had the knowledge and the tools. Obviously, nothing happened. I'm here to talk. But.

Jennifer [00:25:49]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:25:50]:
But, like, it was just one of those eye opening experiences where I was like, I am grateful for the job that my dad had. I am grateful for the knowledge that was instilled in me. And some of these things that come from the job of being like, life isn't a joke sometimes and you may be harmless, going to a bar, you think that. But, like, people, you have to be aware. You have to have that common sense. And I was just like, man, did that come full circle in here. I actually ended up making a different friend there, an older gentleman who was a huge Bears fan. I talked to him for hours.

Ashlee [00:26:22]:
He actually kind of picked up on the whole situation and stayed with me and made sure I got out okay.

Jennifer [00:26:26]:
Yeah.

Ashlee [00:26:27]:
Which I did. I would have been okay, y', all, but it was. I was thankful for him. And then how beautiful the whole thing turned out where it was just one of those moments where I was. This man was meant to be put in my life.

Jennifer [00:26:37]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:26:37]:
Because the connection we made about football, talking about my dad and, like, our experiences, it was so beautiful. So that it was like a full circle moment for me where I was like, one minute I was, oh, Ashlee, you may have not put yourself in the best position in life, but use your tools. And then to, like, flipping to being like, oh, my gosh, it turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me. I grew in so many ways, and I met someone incredible along the way. But, yeah, no, I just was like, man, they're on to some.

Jennifer [00:27:03]:
Well, and I think it's so important that you listen to your gut when it comes to those things in terms of those experiences. And I think, you know, first responder kiddos maybe have guts that are a little bit more sensitive to things and pay a little bit more attention at times to those kind of things to just have that awareness. And so I'm glad that you're safe and you made a friend and you were able to feel like safe going back to the hotel and all those things.

Ashlee [00:27:32]:
Yeah, I guess I don't want any first responder child because I. I remember growing up, like, kind of being made fun of for that. My friends being not a bad way, but just being like, oh, my God, Ashlee, like You don't have to. You're the mom of the group. You're the mom of the group because you're just so anxious and you just. And I remember being like, yeah, like, why can't I ever not, like, just live free like them as they're wild in. And it always kind of bothered me because I was like, is it. Am I wrong for that? But then literally in that moment, I was like, no, thank God.

Ashlee [00:28:00]:
Because again, I don't know if anything negative would have happened. However, my gut was like, oh, this is not going in a direction that I. I feel okay with. I need to get out of this situation. I can't risk, you know, so. But I really don't know that a lot of people have that awareness sometimes.

Jennifer [00:28:17]:
Yeah. You know, I find it is hard for me when I'm around people that, like, don't take into account anything. Like, just people that live, like, are just so freely in a situation. Sometimes it just says, like, do you have any common sense?

Ashlee [00:28:35]:
Correct.

Jennifer [00:28:36]:
But, you know, I think that coming from a place of being so hyper aware, I can be really frustrated with people that are so unaware. And that is a hard. It's a hard thing to kind of strike a balance with that sometimes when it's like, what do you mean? You didn't pay attention to that person?

Ashlee [00:28:55]:
Correct.

Jennifer [00:28:56]:
Like, just walked by or what do you mean? You didn't notice that there was our garbage can in front of the fire exit? Or, you know, just like, what. You know, just again, how our brains kind of work to scan and pay attention and all those things. Yeah.

Ashlee [00:29:11]:
It's so interesting to me how much of it. It really.

Jennifer [00:29:15]:
It's.

Ashlee [00:29:15]:
Yeah, it's wild that it does come from. I mean, all parents, don't get me wrong, but I do think it's a little heightened on our end because of what they see and they're exposed to and they want to keep their children safe, so.

Jennifer [00:29:26]:
Right.

Ashlee [00:29:27]:
They share that knowledge.

Jennifer [00:29:28]:
Yeah. And I think that, you know, kids are our hearts outside of our bodies. And when you see other people lose their children and things like that, it just. It creates such a place that you would do whatever you could to make sure your kid's safe.

Ashlee [00:29:45]:
Yeah.

Jennifer [00:29:45]:
Even if that feels like it's intense for those kids, it's like it's coming from a good place.

Ashlee [00:29:51]:
Yes, absolutely. Look at that. We're bringing it back to the positives for sure.

Jennifer [00:29:56]:
Well, one thing that I want to say I'm very thankful for is you. And I also want to say I'm Just extremely thankful for our listeners, the people that have supported this podcast. And you guys just. I don't know, I'm always astonished by your engagement and your listening and your feedback, and I'm just incredibly grateful that when the call hits home, has been around for this long in a way. Like, I know we're gonna do one and.

Ashlee [00:30:27]:
And. And the love that we've received. And honestly, Jennifer, you know that, like, you mean the world to me, and I could not ever do this without you. And it's. It's insane how we have grown so much in our listeners. We have some so dedicated to us that it just. It melts my heart. And I think, like, yet we have some really cool things coming, which is also so cool.

Ashlee [00:30:47]:
Like, I'm like, whoa, sky's the limit. I don't. I don't know. We're just gonna have to keep grinding at it because it's. We do have some cool stuff coming up, but I am just so thankful, and I'm so thankful for you and everybody else. It's a huge family, and that's what our goal was.

Jennifer [00:31:00]:
Oh, totally. Well, and I'm like, I did texture that you have two other sisters, but I'm your third, so, you know, she really is, folks. She really.

Ashlee [00:31:11]:
I. Sometimes.

Jennifer [00:31:13]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Ashlee [00:31:14]:
She maybe doesn't need all my phone calls while I'm going through things, but, like, she gets it.

Jennifer [00:31:20]:
It's perfect. I was actually at a children's birthday party. Gosh, yesterday, and was talking to a mom there who happened to be the kid of a first responder who happened to have, like, siblings that are in the military. And we were just kind of laughing over, like. Like, what is. You know, this is so weird that you're just at this random birthday party, but it is kind of funny. Just that thinking about community, like, our community kind of finds its way.

Ashlee [00:31:48]:
Yes.

Jennifer [00:31:48]:
And of course, then I did, like, a shameless plug for the podcast.

Ashlee [00:31:55]:
You have to just throw it out there, you know, you just have to throw it out there.

Jennifer [00:31:59]:
I was really sad I wasn't wearing any of our new swag to be like, oh, check out my shirt and stuff. So we always encourage that, too. If you guys want to check out our shop.

Ashlee [00:32:09]:
Yes. And then post it. Like, send it to us or post and tag us. Like, we love that. We absolutely love it. But, yeah, I mean, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and does reflect on the good. Be intentional about it. So maybe it is time to start writing down a few things you're.

Ashlee [00:32:24]:
You're grateful for. Or that, you know, just whatever that may be for you trying to find that. Because I do think there's some point to that, to getting your mindset right. To live through these types of careers.

Jennifer [00:32:35]:
It is a powerful, powerful thing. And exactly what you're saying. What we can do when we can work on our thinking. No stinking thinking.

Ashlee [00:32:43]:
All right? You guys have a great Thanksgiving and we'll be back at. We'll be back. Right? We're coming back on.

Jennifer [00:32:50]:
I hope so.

Ashlee [00:32:50]:
They know. They know. They know when it's at. Well, when the call hits home, Jennifer and I are here for you. Thank you, guys.

Jennifer [00:32:56]:
Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving.