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Restoring Internal Power: Overcoming Gender Stereotypes - Dana Theus
ENYTinG Gender Podcast
Sharmin Prince | Rating 5 (1) (0) |
https://www.eaglessoars.org | Launched: Jun 05, 2024 |
info@eaglessoar.org | Season: 1 Episode: 5 |
"ENYTinG Gender" Podcast Episode Transcript - Restoring Internal Power: Overcoming Gender Stereotypes
Introduction
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Welcomes listeners to the "ENYTinG Gender" podcast and introduces the mission of exploring gender complexities.
Discussion of Community and Change
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Invites listeners seeking community or change to participate in a respectful, idea-sharing forum. Introduces guest Dana Theus, an executive and career coach specializing in women's leadership and entrepreneurship.
Guest Background
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Details Dana's extensive career in various sectors and contributions to leadership development. Dana expresses gratitude for being on the show and the importance of discussing gender topics.
Discussion of Gender Equity and Equality
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Asks Dana about her thoughts on gender equity and equality. Dana reflects on the historical struggle for equality and the evolving understanding of gender roles and fairness.
Importance of Inner Power in Gender Issues
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Inquires about Dana's key findings on gender equity and equality. Dana discusses the significance of external power, such as money and decision-making, and the need for a connection to internal power like time and energy management, particularly among women who historically had limited access to external power.
Sharmin Prince Host
Coach, Entrepreneur, Consultant, Trainer, Content Creator, SoulHealer.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SharminVanPrince
https://www.facebook.com/eaglessoarN413805Y
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088212
X: https://twitter.com/SharminPrince
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharminprince/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/eagles-empowered-to-soar-inc-eets
Website: https://www.sharminprince.utobo.com
https://www.sharminprince.com
https:www.eaglessoar.org
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eagles_soar_inc/
https://www.instagram.com/sharmin_vp/
Guest: Dana Theus
Website: https://inpowercoaching.com/about/dana-theus/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danatheus/
https://danatheus.medium.com/
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Episode Chapters
![](https://podopshost.com/storage/pod_1711322292.png)
"ENYTinG Gender" Podcast Episode Transcript - Restoring Internal Power: Overcoming Gender Stereotypes
Introduction
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Welcomes listeners to the "ENYTinG Gender" podcast and introduces the mission of exploring gender complexities.
Discussion of Community and Change
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Invites listeners seeking community or change to participate in a respectful, idea-sharing forum. Introduces guest Dana Theus, an executive and career coach specializing in women's leadership and entrepreneurship.
Guest Background
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Details Dana's extensive career in various sectors and contributions to leadership development. Dana expresses gratitude for being on the show and the importance of discussing gender topics.
Discussion of Gender Equity and Equality
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Asks Dana about her thoughts on gender equity and equality. Dana reflects on the historical struggle for equality and the evolving understanding of gender roles and fairness.
Importance of Inner Power in Gender Issues
Speaker 1 (Sharmin Prince): Inquires about Dana's key findings on gender equity and equality. Dana discusses the significance of external power, such as money and decision-making, and the need for a connection to internal power like time and energy management, particularly among women who historically had limited access to external power.
Sharmin Prince Host
Coach, Entrepreneur, Consultant, Trainer, Content Creator, SoulHealer.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SharminVanPrince
https://www.facebook.com/eaglessoarN413805Y
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088212
X: https://twitter.com/SharminPrince
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharminprince/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/eagles-empowered-to-soar-inc-eets
Website: https://www.sharminprince.utobo.com
https://www.sharminprince.com
https:www.eaglessoar.org
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eagles_soar_inc/
https://www.instagram.com/sharmin_vp/
Guest: Dana Theus
Website: https://inpowercoaching.com/about/dana-theus/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danatheus/
https://danatheus.medium.com/
Speaker 1
00:02
Okay.Hello,welcometotheAnythingGenderpodcast.IamyourhostCharminPrince,andI'mthrilledtogreetyouinoursharedspace,aforumdedicatedtoexploringandunravelingthecomplexitiesofgenderinourmodernworld.Todayweembarkonyetanotherenlighteningjourney,weavingthroughtherichtapestryofgendernarratives,examiningthecrossstitchofculturalnorms,andchallengingthescenesthathavelongdefinedandconfinedgenderroles.
S1
Speaker 1
00:51
Whetheryou'reheretofindcommunity,tolearnsomethingnew,ortobeapartofthechange,wewelcomeyouwithopenarmsandacommitmenttoarespectful,honestexchangeofideas.Today,wehaveaguest,DanaPias,Andshe'sanexecutiveandcareercoach,specializinginhelpingyouunlockyourhighestpotentialtosucceedandtoshine.Withhersupport,womenaspiringtogreaterlevelsofleadershipandentrepreneurshiplearntoretellthestoriestheymusthealsothattheycanemergeintotheirfullpotentialandfindtheirauthenticityconfidentvoice.Leveraginga25plusyearcareeronthefrontlinesofbusiness,DianahasworkedforFortune50companies,entrepreneurialtechstartups,governmentandmilitaryagencies,andnonprofits.
S1
Speaker 1
02:16
AndshehastaughtgraduatelevelcoursesforseveraluniversitiesintheWashington,D.C.Area.Shewritesonmultipleleadershipsitestobringanempoweredvoicetoleadershipdevelopment.Welcome,Dana.
S1
Speaker 1
02:41
Andthankyou.I'msorry,isthereanythingthatyou'dliketoaddtothatwonderfulbio?
S2
Speaker 2
02:48
Oh,well,thankyou.Firstofall,thankyouforhavingmehere.I'veenjoyedgettingreadyforthisconversation.
S2
Speaker 2
02:54
AndIwasinspiredjustlisteningtoyouintroduceitagain.Sothankyoufordoingthiswork.Thesetopicsarejustsointerestingandsoimportant.
S1
Speaker 1
03:04
Thankyou.Thankyouforbeinghere.Andmyfirstquestiontoyou,whenyouhearallthischatterandnoiseaboutgenderequityandgenderequality?
S1
Speaker 1
03:23
Whatcomestomind?
S2
Speaker 2
03:27
Wow,whatagreatquestion.Well,nowintheworldthatIliveinnow,inthecareerthatIhavenowafterdecadesofaskingmyselfthatquestion,WhatIthinkofnowishistory.Youknow,thehistoryofourspecieshasbeenastruggleforpowerandequalityandequityamonghumanbeings.
S2
Speaker 2
04:02
Andinthathistory,there'salwaysbeenthebinaryofgender,thewaywe'vedefineditculturally,whichwe'renowrecognizingislessabinarythanweeverreallythoughtitwas.Butthroughhistory,aswestruggleforpowerandcreatethetraumathathasgivenbirthtothemostwonderfulstoriesontheplanetandthemostdramaticmusicandallthethingsweenjoyinourentertainment,Thatstruggleforpowerhasfundamentallykindofcomedowntogenderinalotofways.Anditshowsthehumanproclivityforputtingthingsinpolaropposites.Andtheysaywomenandmenarepolaropposites.
S2
Speaker 2
04:48
We'vetreateditthatway.Sowetalkaboutequalityandwetalkaboutequity.Wetendtolookatitandthroughthatpolardisparity.Ijustseeitas1bigstory,1bigstoryofhumanitythatbringsustoaplacewherewecanactuallybegintoseetheinequitythatwestartedcreating,literallyprobablymillionsof,tensofthousands,ifnotmillionsandmillionsofyearsago.
S2
Speaker 2
05:17
Andsomycuriosityisalwaystherelike,okay,whatarewediscoveringtoday?Ifwelookbackatwhatwethoughtgenderequityandequality,wedidn'tevenhavethewordequity.Wethoughtgenderequalitywas50yearsagoorahundredyearsagowithtryingtogetwomentherighttovoteorbeforethat.Ourunderstandingofwhatequalmeans,ourunderstandingofwhatequitymeanscontinuestochangeaswelearnmoreaboutgenderandaboutwhatconstitutesfairtreatmentandfairopportunity.
S2
Speaker 2
05:51
Sothat'sanabstractanswerthat,youknow,whenI'mworkingwithaspecificclient,Imightbringitdowntoaparticularviewoftheirsituation,Butoverall,havingworkedwithsomanyclients,havingstudiedthistopic,Ijustseeitasanevolutionofourunderstandingofwhatallthosethingsmean,gender,equity,andequality,becausethey'reconstantlyevolving.
S1
Speaker 1
06:13
Thankyou.Thankyouforyourresponse.Inyouryearsofresearchandstudyingwomen,gender,equity,andequality,whataresomeofthe,Iwannasaysalientpointsthatyouhavediscoveredthattheaveragepersonmaynotbeexposedto.
S2
Speaker 2
06:44
IwouldsaythemostcorelearningthatI'vehadandcontinuetohave.Andthisappliestoeverybody,men,women,andpeoplewhodefinethemselvesatneitherendofthatspectrum.That'sahumantruthisthatwewantandneedexternalpowerintheworld.
S2
Speaker 2
07:09
Youknow,externalpower,money,theabilitytomakedecisionsaboutourlivesandthelivesofthepeoplewecareforandtheresourcestolivethroughthosedecisions.Wewanttoliveinabetterhouse.Wewanttogoonbettervacations.Wewanttoeatbetterfood.
S2
Speaker 2
07:25
Whateverwewantbettereducation,whateverweneedpowerintheworldtodothat.Sowe'reall,weneedacertainamountofexternalpower.Ourmediaandourculturetellsusweneedevenmore.Weneedtobeatthetop.
S2
Speaker 2
07:40
Weneedtobethemostpowerfulperson,oratleastmorepowerfulthaneverybodyelseweknow.Andsothisconstantpursuitofexternalpower,whichinourcareersoftenlookslikegettingapromotionor,youknow,gettingatitleorwhatever,moremoney,thatpursuitofexternalpowerisusuallydependentonourconnectiontoourinternalpower.AndwhenIthinkaboutinternalpower,whatIfocusoninmypracticewithpeopleishowwemakeuseofourinternalresources,ourtime,ourattention,ourintention,andourenergy.Dowespendourenergyworryingallthetimeordowespendourenergymakingthingshappen?
S2
Speaker 2
08:29
Thatchoiceisaninternalresource.Andthepeoplewhotendtoachieveexternalpowerandmaintainitandfindsatisfactioninit.Thosepeopletendtohaveadecentrelationshipwiththeirinternalpower.Theycontroltheirenergy.
S2
Speaker 2
08:45
Theycontroltheirtime.Theycontroltheirintentionandtheirattention.ButwhatI'venoticed,particularlybringingitbacktothegenderdimension,isthatwomenareoften,AndIthinkit'sbecausethestoryofthatgenderstorythroughtimeItalkedabout,youknow,betweenmenandwomen,therelationshipwomenhavehadhistoricallywithexternalpowerisfundamentallybroken.Ourexternalpowerhasbeentakenawayfromus,Youknow,becausewewereproperty,becausewewereowned,becausewedidn'thavetherighttohaveabankaccount.
S2
Speaker 2
09:21
Youknow,mymotherdidn'thavearighttohaveabankaccount,madeherdivorcereallyhardforher.Sothis,thisrelationshipwithexternalpowerhasbeenlegallybrokenforsomanywomen,anditstillisinalotofplacesintheworld,asyouknow.Sobecausetheexternalpowerhasbeentakenawayfromus,alotofushaveabrokenrelationshipwithourinternalpower.Webelievesincewecan'thaveexternalpower,wecan'tcontrolourinternalresourcesoftime,attention,intention,ourenergy.
S2
Speaker 2
09:53
It'snotourstocontrol.Ourjobistogiveofourselvessomuchthatwecomelast.AndwhatI'velearned,youask,whathaveIlearned?AndIsawitinmyownlife,andI'veseenitinevery1ofmyclients,menandwomen,bytheway.
S2
Speaker 2
10:12
Whenwegetintouchwithandstarttoownanauthenticrelationshipwithourinnerpower,evenifit'sstillalittlebroken,wewereallalittlebroken.Butwhenwestarttoconnectwithourinnerpower,externalpowerbecomesaccessibletous.Wecanimaginehavingit.Wecanactuallywantit.
S2
Speaker 2
10:36
Wecantakeactionsmoreeffectivelytogetit.Andwhenwearebeingtreatedunfairly,unequallyandequitably,wehavetheinnerstrengthtowalkawayandcreateboundaries.Andquiteoftenthepeoplewho'vebeenwithholdingpowerfromusexternallydecidetogiveittousifwe'rereallygoodatwhatwedo.Andsoit's,itseemsantitheticalthattogetexternalpower,youneedtogetintouchwithyourinternalpower.
S2
Speaker 2
11:04
Butit'sabsolutelytrue.Andit'sabsolutelytrueforeveryonethatI'veeverworkedwithofeithergender.ButforthereasonsImentioned,mentendtohavealittlemoreaccessibilitytotheirinternalpower.Theygivethemselvespermissiontohaveinternalpowerinawaythatalotofwomendon'torfeelguiltyaboutorwithholdfromthemselves.
S2
Speaker 2
11:26
Andsomyworkwiththem,that'swhyIcallmycompanyinpowercoachingisit'sallaboutseekingwhateveryou'relookingforintheworldwhenitcomestopower,whichmayjustbethepowertohaveacontroloveryourlifeandyourcareerinawaythatbringsyoujoyandmeaning,istogetintouchwithwhateveraspectofyourinternalpoweryou'rewithholdingfromyourselfasthefirststeptothatexternalsuccess.
S1
Speaker 1
11:54
Thankyou.Thankyou.Thankyouforthatthoroughresponse.
S1
Speaker 1
11:59
AndYouansweredmynextquestionpartially,butIamgoingtoaskyoufordetails.Howcanwomenrestoretheirinternalpower?Howcanwerestorethatinternalpower?Andmaybejustgiveusafewsteps,thefirst2stepsthatwecantaketoensurethereisrestoration.
S2
Speaker 2
12:34
Wow,whatanimportantquestion.LetmeseeifIcancomeupwithsomethingsimple,becauseasyouknow,it'scomplicated.Ilove,bytheway,youranalogyintheopeningaboutthetapestry,youknow,thetapestryofgender.
S2
Speaker 2
12:49
Andinaway,thisisaninternaltapestry,youknow,we'realwaysweavingourinternalself,youknow,we'recreatingourinternalself,we'reremakingourinternalselfeachtimeweretellournarrative.Andweneedtokeepretellingournarrativetokeepremakingourselves.Buttoyourquestion,youknow,howcanwerestoreourrelationshipwiththatinternalpower?Ithinkthatit'sdifferentfordifferentpeoplebecausethatbreakisdifferent.
S2
Speaker 2
13:16
However,1thingthatiscommonissimplytheabilitytogetintodialoguewithyourinnervoice.Youknow,ourexternalworld,allournotificationsonourphonesandeverythingaroundusistryingtodistractusfromourinternalvoice.Andyetourinternalvoiceholdstheclues.AndwhenIsaytheclues,Imeanthat,youknow,ourinternaldialogue,weoftenhearaboutthatlittlegremlinonourshoulder,youknow,theinnercriticthat'stryingtotearusdownandThat'saveryrealdynamicformenandforwomenforwomen.
S2
Speaker 2
13:59
It'sveryDebilitatingalotoftimesbecausethemenalsohaveaninnervoiceofconfidencemoreoften,notalways,butmoreoftenthanwomendo.Andyoucan'tretellastoryyoudon'tknow.Soifyoucan'thearwhatyourinnercriticoryourinnervoiceissaying,youcan'tunderstanditinthewayyoumightwanttochangeitthewayyoumightbeabletochangeitauthentically.AndwhatImeanbythatisWecannotbelievesomethingwedon'tbelieveandwecan'tnotbelieveanything.
S2
Speaker 2
14:35
WehavetobelievesomethingSowecan'tretellastory.Wecan'treviseastorythatwedon'tunderstandsofirstwehavetohearitandunderstanditwhichisoftenpainfulAndthenwegetintodialoguewithit,andthenwebegintochangeit.Thenwebegintoretellit.Sothistakesmanyforms,mindfulness,goingonyogaretreats,journalingtoyourself,takingtimealoneinthewoodssometimes.
S2
Speaker 2
15:07
There'ssomanywaystoaccessitthatthere'snosimpletruthandit'sdifferentforeachofus.ButwhatIwillsayismanypeoplefindaccessingthatvoice,thatinternalvoice,veryfrighteningbecausethatinternalvoicehasbeenignoredandpushedawayandpusheddownforsolongthatwhenitgetsachancetotalk,it'sjustkindofspewing.Andalotofpeoplethinkit'stheirauthenticselfspewing.It'snot,it'sjustavoiceinyoutryingtotellyouthingsthatwantyoutoknow.
S2
Speaker 2
15:38
Butwhenyou'reabletogetintodialoguewithit,andthisiswhyjournalingisalsooftenaveryusefultoolforavarietyofreasons.Whenyougetintodialoguewithit,itstartstellingyouthingsandthenyouaskitwhyitthinksthatanditstartstellingyouthattoo.Andprettysoonyou'reonthisreallyinterestingjourneytounderstandwhyyouarewhoyouareandhowyoucametobethatway.Andespeciallywiththeguidanceofacoachoratherapistorjustaverygoodfriendwho'sveryunderstanding,whenyoubegintoverbalizethisforyourself,youbegintohaveaccesstothatinnerbreak,butalsotheinnersourcesofpowerthatarejustsittingtherewaitingforyoutoaccessthembecausebutyou'veneverlooked.
S2
Speaker 2
16:23
SosotheshortanswerthatIjustgavelongisthatit'sgettingintodialoguewithyourinnerself.Andforsomeofus,thisiseasierthanothers.Andforsomeofus,it'salmostaphysicalthingandothers,it'samuchmoreemotionalandintellectualthing.It'sdifferentforeverybody,butgettingintoarelationshipwithyourselfisthefirststep.
S1
Speaker 1
16:45
Thankyou.Ifmoreofusdevelopthatrelationshipwithourselves,wouldwebebetterequippedtomanagethegenderstereotypes,thegenderbiases,thegenderdiscriminationsthatwefaceonadailybasis?
S2
Speaker 2
17:16
That'saleadingquestion,soI'llsayyes.AndIcangiveyousomeexamples.AndI'lljustbeupfrontwithmyapproachtostereotype,genderorotherwise.
S2
Speaker 2
17:33
But,youknow,Iandalotofmyclientsfacestereotypes.Wefacedoublestandards.Wediscoverthematdifferentpointsintime,right?Indifferentways.
S2
Speaker 2
17:48
Andthemomentyoudiscoverthatyouarethequote,victimofastereotype,it'saverydisempoweringfeeling,isn'tit?Becauseparticularlyifthatstereotypehastodowiththingsyoudon'tcontrol,thecolorofyourskin,thegenderyoupresentas,unlessyou'vemadeanefforttopresentasadifferentgender,theagethatyouare,eventhoughyou'retryingnottobeold,youknow,BecauseIcantellyoufrompersonalexperienceafterawhile,someofthoseeffortsjustdon'tpayoff,right?It'sjustyouaretheageyouare.Andsothemomentyoufindoutyou'reavictimofageismorracismorsexisminanyoftheirforms,themorebenignorthemore,themorecriminal.
S2
Speaker 2
18:38
It'sinthatmoment,you'rekindoflike,OhmyGod,whatcanIdo?Ican'tdoanything.II'mpowerlesstofightthis.That'skindofanormalreaction.
S2
Speaker 2
18:47
Andyetthere'salwayswaystoaddressitthataremoreempowering.Buttofindthose,youhavetolookatyourselfandsay,Whatwouldbeempoweringtome?Justbecausesomethingisempoweringtosomebodyelsedoesn'tmeanit'sempoweringtome.I'llgiveyouanexample.
S2
Speaker 2
19:11
WhenIwasmid-career,IhitwhatIthoughtwasaglassceiling.IwaskindofataseniormanagementlevelandIwantedtogoforaVPjob,avicepresident'sjob,andIdidn'tgetit.AndIlookedatallthepeoplewhowereoperatingatthatseniorlevelinthecompany.AndIjustrealized,Idon'tthinkIwanttobethereanyway.
S2
Speaker 2
19:39
IthinkIcouldfigureouthowtogetthereandbesuccessfulthere,butIdon'tthinkI'dlikewhoIwouldhavetobecometobetherebecausethosepeoplearesharks.They'reeatingeachotheraliveevery,everystaffmeeting,youknow,they're,they're,they'rejust,they'rebeingunpleasant.They'rebackstabbingeachother.I'mlike,Idon'twanttobethatperson.
S2
Speaker 2
20:02
Soatthatpointinmycareer,theempoweringthingIdidformyselfwastoquit.Iwentout,Ibecameaconsultant.Iwentoutonmyown.Isaid,screwthiscorporatething.
S2
Speaker 2
20:14
Iamgonnatakeownershipofmycareer.I'mnotgoingtoletthemmakemeintosomeoneIdon'twanttobe.I'mout.Anditwasactuallyaveryempoweringmoveforme.
S2
Speaker 2
20:26
IdiscoveredthatIwasmorevaluableonthemarketthanIthoughtIwas.Igothiredbackbythesamecompanyasacontractorforlike,youknow,3quartersofthesalaryandhalfthehours,youknow,my,mylifestylegotbetter.Itwasreallyempowering.AndyetItalkedtoalotofmyclientsthesedayswhothinkthey'rehittingaglassceiling.
S2
Speaker 2
20:46
AndmyadvicetothemisverydifferentbecauseIrealizenowthingsIdidn'tknowthen,includingthefactthattheglassceiling,thestorywetellourselvesisit'sasexistplot,right?Thatallthemenandthewomenwhoactlikemenatthetoparejusttryingtokeepthewomenout.That'swhatorblackpeopleoutorpeoplewhoarenotlikethemout,right?It'slikewewanttoseeitasanexclusionduetobias.
S2
Speaker 2
21:17
AndIabsolutelybelievethere'sbiasthere.Youknow,thereissuchathingastheclubatthetop.However,havingnowprogressedinmycareerandhelpedalotofotherpeoplecorrectprogressintheircareer,Ialsoseethattheglassceilingscreensoutpeopleofallkindswhodon'tunderstandthewayyouhavetoworkatthemostseniorlevels.It'snotaboutdoingthings,it'saboutmakingdecisions.
S2
Speaker 2
21:44
It'snotaboutproducingthings,it'sabouttakingriskintelligently,right?Understandingthecomplexityoftheorganizationandthestrategicrequirementsonitandbeabletogetoutoftheweedsandlookatthathigherlevel,lookoutintothemarket,lookatthecustomersandallthedifferentstakeholdersanddecidewhat'sthepathforwardforourorganization.Andthentosortoffightthebattleswithyourpeersandwitheverybodyelsetogetthosethingsdone.Andit'shardwork.
S2
Speaker 2
22:17
Andsotheglassceilingtometodaymeanssomethingdifferentthanitdidthen.AndIthinktoyourquestionforalotofmyclients,youknow,formehittingtheglassceilingIhitorasIperceiveditwastoquit.Andforalotofmyclients,that'ssometimestrue.Butsometimesthemostempoweringthingtheycandoischallengethemselvestogetoutoftheweeds,tolearnnewskillstolearntobestrategictolearntothinkoutsidethebox,tolearntocareaboutthecustomersandtheinvestorsandthemarketasawholeandexpandtheirviewandhaveabiggervision.
S2
Speaker 2
23:00
Thatturnsouttobethemostempoweringthingtheycando.Andso,youknow,there'sjustadifferentanswerforeverybody.Andthequestioncomesdownto,whatisitthatyouperceiveisyourfearinanyparticularpointintime?Andwhatisthethingyoucandomostproactivelyandmostauthenticallythatyouwanttodo?
S2
Speaker 2
23:27
WhenIgotoutofthat,whenIquit,IwantedtobeabettermothertomychildrenbecausetheyweresmallandIfeltlikeIwasbeingtakenadvantageof,butIalsowantedtoworkandIwantedtomakeadifferenceinorganizations.Soasacontractor,Ifoundawaytodoboth.Ihaveclientstodaywhoalsoaremothersandwanttobebettermothersandtheytellthemselvesadifferentstory.Theysay,youknowwhat,Icanbeeffectiveatthetop.
S2
Speaker 2
23:51
Icanbeinthetreetops.Icantakecontrolofmyscheduleandbeabletobethereformychildren.AndIcanlearntocommunicatewithinvestorsinsuchawaytheywanttogivemycompanymoney.Andthentheygodothat.
S2
Speaker 2
24:08
Andtheystartoperatingabovetheglassceiling.Neither1ofthosestrategies,mineormyclientsIjustdescribed,iswrongorbetter.It'sjusttheright1attherighttimeforwhatwewantinourlivesandwhat'simportanttousandwhatourvaluesareandwhatourchoicesarethatwe'refacing.Andeachofuswillcomeupagainstotherchoicesinthefuturethatgiveusoptions.
S2
Speaker 2
24:31
Soaslongaswe'remakingthatchoiceandit'salignedwithwhoweareandwhatwewantforourselvesandourlives,it'sempowering.It'slessaboutwhatyoudoandmoreabouthowandwhyyoudoit.Doesthatanswerthequestion?I'mnotsure,Iwanderedabit.
S1
Speaker 1
24:46
Sure,it'sfine,Youdid.Someoneaskedmeaquestion,andIamgoingtoposethatquestiontoyou.Shesaidtome,asawomanwhoisnotintouchwithherinnerpowerordon'thavethatrelationship,herquestionishowdoIfunctioneffectivelyinamale-dominatedworkenvironment?
S1
Speaker 1
25:26
AndItoldherafterthisepisode,I'llanswerher.So
S2
Speaker 2
25:37
helpme.Sowhatisitthattoldyoushewasnotintouchwithherinnerpower?
S1
Speaker 1
25:45
Shehasidentifiedthatshe,shehasabrokenrelationshipwithherself.
S2
Speaker 2
25:52
Okay.Well,I'lljust,I'lltellyouwhattendstocomeupwiththewomenIknowwhoexpresssomethingsimilar,whichisgoingbacktostoriesandnarrativesandthestoriesandnarrativesthattendtobegendered.There'salotofthingsthataregenderedinourworld,ourstereotypesaboutleadership,forexample.Butwhenyou'reatthatfundamentallevel,sowhatyoudescribeashersituation,that'safundamentalquestionanditreallycomesdowntopowerandourrelationshipwithpower.
S2
Speaker 2
26:37
Andmenareoftenboys,littleboys,areofteninstilledwithanarrativethatsaysyou'repowerfulandyoucanbeanythingyouwant.Whenyougetdown,youknow,falldown,skinyourknees,getupanddoitagain,eventuallyyou'llsucceed.Andlittlegirlsoftenhearadifferentmessage,althoughthat'schanging,thankgoodness.Buteventodayinthesocialmessagesweget,theculturalmessagesweget,themediamessagesweget,wegetmessagesthatwe'repowerfulifblank.
S2
Speaker 2
27:14
You'repowerfulifyou'reliked,ifyou'reapprovedof,ifothers,especiallymen,wantyou.Sowomenoftengetthismessagethattheirpowerderivesfromexternalsources,butthatgivestheexternalsourcespoweroverthem.Anditleadstobehaviorslikeneedingtobesoperfectthatyouoverworkyourselfandyouworktwiceashardaseverybodyaroundyou.Andyoudon'taskforcreditbecauseaskingforcreditisnotseenaspolite.
S2
Speaker 2
27:50
Youwaitforpermission.Youdon'thaveavisionforyourself.Youjustexecuteeverybodyelse'svision.Theseareallbehaviorsthatgoalongwithnotfeelinglikeyou'regivingyourselfpermissiontojustbepowerfulbecauseofwhoyouare.
S2
Speaker 2
28:05
Andsoinamale-dominatedenvironment,likethewomanyou'retalkingabout,thesestoriesaboutpowerareonsteroids,becausethemale-dominatedcultureissayingmenarepowerfuljustbecausetheyexistinamalebody,right?AndtheantithesisofthatisthatwellWomeneitheraren'tpowerfulorhavetoprovetheirpowerorhavetoearntheirpowerbybeinglikedapprovedofetcOrworking10timesashardnottwiceashardifyouwantpoweryougottowork10timesashard.Sothefirstthingtodoistoidentifyforher,forsomeonelikethat,youknow,whatarethebehaviorsthatshemostexhibitsthatfeedintothatnarrative?Issheaperfectionist?
S2
Speaker 2
28:55
Issheworkingtwiceashard?Isshewaitingforpermission?Isshenothavingherowncareergoalsbecauseshe'sjusthopingthatherbosswilltellherwhathercareergoalsshouldbe.And,youknow,somewomenwaitforallthosethings,andsomewomendon't.
S2
Speaker 2
29:13
Butthere'susuallysomebehavioralexpressionofthisinnernarrativethatsays,I'monlypowerfulifblank.Andwhenyoucanputtogetherthenarrativethatdisempowersyouwiththebehaviorthatdisempowersyou,Youcanstarttoexplorechangingthenarrativeandthebehaviortogetherandprettysoonyoucanknittogetherthere'ssomethingthatfeelspowerful,authenticallypowerful.Andhere'sthekeytoit.Takeabeliefthat'sdisempowering.
S2
Speaker 2
29:50
I'mnoteducatedenough.Idon'thaveenoughdegrees.Thatmaybetrue.Youmaybesurroundedbypeoplewhohavealotofdegrees.
S2
Speaker 2
30:01
Andinsomeways,it'struethatyou'renotaseducatedastheyare.Butthere'sanothertruthsittingnexttothat.Inmycase,whenIranupagainsttheeducationthing,IthoughtIneededtogogetanotherdegree,youknow?Ifoundatruthwhichwas,butIamexperiencedenough.
S2
Speaker 2
30:21
Ihavebeenaroundablockor2.Iknowsomethings.SoitmaybetruethatI'mnotaseducatedasIcouldbe,butit'salsotruethatI'mexperiencedenoughforalltheworkthatIdo.Andthere'sthatNativeAmericanparable,whichI'mgonnabotchbecauseIdon'tremembertheexact,we'rewalkingwith2wolves,1thattearsusupandtheotherthatprotectsus.
S2
Speaker 2
30:44
Andthe1thatwinsisthe1wefeed.Sowhenweleanintonotbeingeducatedenoughornotbeingblankenough,wejustfeedwhattearsusapart.Butwhenwesaythat'strueandIchoosetopayattentionto,togivemyenergy,togivemyattentiontothatwolfthatprotectsme,thatIamexperiencedenough,thatI'msmartenough,thatI'mintuitiveenough,thatI'mdedicatedenough,whateveryoufillthatblankwith,youleanintothat.Nowyou'vegotanauthenticconnectiontosomethingthatmatterstoyouthatmeismeaningfultoyouandthatfeedsyouandifyoujusttakealittletimeeverydayandactuallyLetyourselfbeinthatenergy.
S2
Speaker 2
31:29
LetyourselfhaveitpeoplegiveyouacomplimentDon'tpushitawayactuallyacceptitandseewhatitfeelsliketobelievemaybethatcouldbetrue.Themoreyoujustspendtimefeelingthosethings,themoreaccessibleitbecomes.Andprettysoon,itdoesn'tmatterwhetheryou'reinamaledominatedenvironmentornot,youactuallyhaveaconnectiontothatpowerthat'swithinyou.Nowsometimesyougettothatpointandyou'relike,Idon'twanttobeinamale-dominatedenvironmentanymore.
S2
Speaker 2
31:58
I'mleaving.Butoftenitjustgivesyouabufferagainstsomeofthedoublestandardsthatyou'reprobablyupagainst.Andwecantalkaboutthosebecausethere'salotofthem.Itcangiveyouaninternalstrengthtosortofbethoughtfulaboutitinsteadofbeingangryorreactionaryorjustrunningandhidingunderaholeeverytimeyourunintoadoublestandardthatdoesn'thelpyou.
S2
Speaker 2
32:23
Andyouneedthatinnerstrength.Andyoualsoneedfriendsyoucanventto,ofcourse,becauseinjusticeisfundamentallyangeringandweneedaplacetodealwiththat.Butjustlookingforthepositivetruthsthatsitnexttothenegativetruthsaboutwhoyouareanddecidingthatthosearevalidandputtingyourattentionandenergyintoitcangiveyouenoughofaperspectiveaboutyourownpowerthatyoucanseeamale-dominatedenvironmentoranyotherkindoftoxicenvironmentthatdoesn'tsupportyouandhelpyoumakebetterchoices.
S1
Speaker 1
33:00
Thankyou.Iwouldlikeustotalkaboutthedoublestandards,butwhenyoumentionseekingpermissionfromthebosstotellherabouthercareergoals,2personalincidentsjustresurfacedforme.IrememberedwhenIwasplanningtogototheUniversityofGuyana,Iwantedtopursueeconomics,butmymentorandpastorguidedmeintosocialwork.
S1
Speaker 1
33:37
WhenIcametotheUS,Iamworkinginthenonprofit.Mygoalistobecomeasocialworker.Andmymalesupervisorandmentoratthattimesaidtome,youhavesuchgreatadministrativeskills,whypursuesocialwork?AndDana,wouldyoubelievethatIveeredoffmypath?
S1
Speaker 1
34:12
Sowhenyoumentionedthat,those2incidentspoppedintomymindandI'mlike,wow,thisissorealandandI'msurethisisrealforalotofwomenbecauseofthewayweweresocializedandthewaymenwerereveredinourlivesandtheabsenceofmalefiguresalsoinourliveswhohavebeenpersonslikemefromasingleparenthome.Soyoucausemetoreally,I'llhavetoprocessthatsothatitdoesn'thappenathirdtime,hopefully.
S2
Speaker 2
35:09
Letmedigressevenfurther,becausethere'sadynamicherethatIamverycuriousaboutandIamtryingtounderstand.AndI'llgiveyoutheunderstandingIhavetoday,buthonestly,Ithinkthere'ssomanydimensionstothisthatyouandI,alotofotherpeoplewillbeexcavatingitforalongtime.Anditcomestomearoundtheideaofvision,havingavisionforyourselforfortheworld.
S2
Speaker 2
35:41
Thatisthevisionthing.Ourbusinessliteratureisfulloftheneedforcompaniestohavevisions,forgreatleaderstohavevisions.Andinfact,I'vecometounderstandthroughtheleadershiplensasanexecutivecoachworkingwithleaders,I'vecometounderstandthatthevisionthingisveryrealfromthestandpointthatgoingbacktothatglassceiling,thepeopleonthetop,andI'mgoingtobringitbacktocareerinaminute,butthepeopleatthetophavetohaveavisionofhowtheywanttheorganization,theworld,themarkettobedifferentthanitistodayinawaythattheirorganizationcanthrive.Andthat'stheirwork,whichistohaveavisionofhowthingscanbebetterandtohaveanunderstandingofallthewaysthatthingsaren'tbettertodayandhaveaplantogetusfromheretothere.
S2
Speaker 2
36:35
Andthefictionisthatanybodycanseethefuture,thatanybodycouldhaveaplanthatwon'tgetscrewedup.Theworkisn'thavingavisionandaplanandthendealingwiththemessyrealityoftryingtostayalignedwithitenoughtoachievesomeofthevision.Butthisrequiresustogointotheunknown,tohaveconfidenceinourselves,totakerisks,totakerisksonbehalfofotherpeople,alltheemployeesthatworkforus.There'salotofanxietythatcancomewiththis.
S2
Speaker 2
37:10
There'salotthatcangowrong.Andyouhavetobelieveinthevision,bewillingtosayyou'rewrongsometimesandveer.Andit'sanartform.It'saskill.
S2
Speaker 2
37:23
It'saleadershipskill.Andagain,menhaveheldthosepositionsdoingthosethings.Soweknowwhatitlookslikeformentohavevisionsaboutthecompany,abouttheworld,andtotakeboldactionandtakeriskstoachieveit.Therearenotverymanywomenupthere,andthewomenwhodotendtogetthereareoftenreallygooddoers.
S2
Speaker 2
37:45
They'rereallygoodadministrators.They'rereallygoodatmakingthingshappen.Andit'sinterestingtomewhenImeetwithwomeneitherontheleadershiptrackorjustintheircareer,likeyouarticulated,youknow,you'retryingtodecidewhattodowiththe,whatdegreetogetorwhattodowithyourdegreeorwhattodowithyourdegree,orwhattodowithyourcareer,especiallywhenyouwanttohaveafamilyoryouhaveotherpersonalresponsibilities,itcanbecomeverychallenging.Ialwaysaskthem,well,whatisyourvisionforsuccessinlifeorinyourcareeroratjustthenextstep?
S2
Speaker 2
38:24
Ifyou'reamanager,doyouwanttobeaseniormanager?Ifyou'revicepresident,doyouwanttobeCEO?Andit'sfascinatingtomethatthemenalwayshaveananswer.Andthewomenmaybehalfthetimehaveananswer.
S2
Speaker 2
38:39
AndwhenIprobe,alotofthetime,thewomenwhodon'thaveananswer,theiransweris,well,I'vealwaysjustdefinedmysuccessbywhodoIhelp?AmIhelpingmychildren,myhusband,mycustomers?It'salwaysaboutwhoIhelp.Socomingbacktothatpermissiontohaveyourowninternalvision,whichvisionisaninternalpower,agoal,goalsareinternalpowers.
S2
Speaker 2
39:16
Andifyoutakeitallthewaybacktochildhood,andifyouandIhadmoretime,I'dbecuriousaboutyouryourchildhoodexperiences.ButIthinkthatboysandmenarejustaskthatquestionmoreoften.What'syourvision?Whatdoyouwant?
S2
Speaker 2
39:34
Forgetvision.Whatdoyouwant?Iactuallydon'tremembergettingthatquestionaskedofmeverymuchwhenIwasachild.WhatIwantedwasn'tnearlyasimportantaswhatotherpeoplewantedforme.
S2
Speaker 2
39:48
Anditsoundslikeyouhaveasimilarexperience,perhaps.Andsowhennobodyasksyouwhatyouwant,andthennobodytreatstheanswertoyourquestions,tothatquestionseriously,youkindofdevelopastoryinyourheadthatit'snotforyoutowant.It'sforyoutoserve.Andmanyofusdogetalotofjoyoutofserving.
S2
Speaker 2
40:10
There'snothingwrongwithserving,butalotofthetimesourserviceismostmeaningfulwhenit'sbecauseit'sinserviceofourvisionofabetterworldforourselvesandotherpeople.Andthat'swherethepowerofservicereallycomesfrom.Butwedon'taskourselvesthatoftenenough.Wedon'taskeachotherthatoftenenough,andwedon'ttreatouranswerswithenoughseriousness.
S2
Speaker 2
40:37
Andthere'salwayssomebodyelsewhosevisionismoreimportant.Andsowedon'tdevelopthehabit.Andit's,Ithinkthere'salsoalotoftimewomengettoapointintheircareerwheretogetabovetheglassceilingtooperateatahigherleadershiplevel,theyreallydoneedtobeabletohaveavision,articulateavision,defendavision,taketherisk,dotheriskanalysisforavision,anditfeelssoscaryandsounfamiliartheydon'tdoit,andthentheyarefrustratedthattheycan'thavetheleadershipauthoritythattheywant.SoThiswholevisionthing,Ithink,isreally,reallyimportantandunderappreciatedwhenitcomestojusttheleadershipgapweseebetweenthegenders.
S2
Speaker 2
41:28
Andyourexperienceisaperfectexample.
S1
Speaker 1
41:33
Thankyou.Thankyou.Let'stouchonthedoublestandardsbecausethat'sveryimportant.
S1
Speaker 1
41:41
AndIknowyouhavealottosharewithus.AndIhopethatyoucandoit.
S2
Speaker 2
41:51
Briefly.Well,letmejustsaythis.SoIamjustabouttopublishanarticlethatismyattempttologallthedoublestandardsIfoundaboutwomenintheworkplacein1place.BecausethedoublestandardthatIheardaboutmostoftenandmostwomenthatItalktoareveryfamiliarwithisthedoublestandardthatmencanbeaggressive,butwomencan'tbe.
S2
Speaker 2
42:29
AndMaleleadersaresupposedtobeaggressive,butwhenawomanisapartofherleadershipstyleisperceivedasaggressive,thenshe'stheBword.Andthatistrue.There'splentyofresearchthatsaysthat'strue.Butwhat'sinterestingisit'snotquitethatsimple.
S2
Speaker 2
42:46
Andthesimpleversionofitisthatmenareexpectedtobe,thewordisagentic,meaninghaveagency.Somaleleadersneedtohaveagency.Theyneedtobeindependent.Theyneedtohavevision.
S2
Speaker 2
42:59
Theyneedtobeabletomakedecisionsanddrivetowardsactionsandsaynoandsay,thisiswhatwe'regoingtodo,youknow,pointatthehillandgo.Andwhentheydothat,they'rerespectedasleaders.That'sthestereotype.Andthat'sthegenericleadershipstereotype.
S2
Speaker 2
43:17
Womenareexpectedfirstandforemosttobecommunal,tobesocial,tobecollaborative,tobesupportive.And,butthatdoesn't,that'snot,that'soutsidetheleadershipstereotype.That'sthewomanstereotype.Womenleadersneedtobecommunalandagentic,buttheycannotbeagenticinawaythatmakesthemappearnon-communal.
S2
Speaker 2
43:42
Sothesuccessfulwomenleadersareboth,andyettheyfindawaytobeagenticinawaythat'sstillcommunal.Andthisisaveryhardthingtodo.Thisisdifficultterritorytonavigate.Butthere'splentyofwomenwholeaderswhodoitandtheydoitbybeingauthentic.
S2
Speaker 2
43:59
ThecatchisMengetapassonbeingcommunal.Theydon'tneedtobecommunaltobeperceivedasgoodleaders.Andmatteroffact,ifthey'retoocommunal,thenthey'rekindofperceivedasweakleaders.Andsothat'saperfectexampleofthedoublestandardthatwomenface.
S2
Speaker 2
44:15
Butthere'sbeenalotofresearchinthelast10or15yearsthatshowthat'sjustthetipoftheiceberg.Sothere'sdoublestandardsaroundtakingcredit.Youknow,menareexpectedtotakecreditfortheirachievements.Womenareexpectedtogivecredittotheirteams.
S2
Speaker 2
44:31
Andiftheyonlytakecreditanddon'tgivecredit,mencangetawaywiththat,womencannot.There'sarecentstudywefoundwhereinscientificandengineeringprofessions,womenwhopubliclycommunicateabouttheirworkareperceivedasbraggingandthey'retryingtoselfaggrandizesothatappreciationfortheiraccomplishmentsisdiminishedversusmenwhocanjustdeclarethatthey'reGod'sgifttoeverything,andeverybodybelievesit,right?Sowomenwhowanttogetrecognitionfortheirworkhavetofigureouthowtodoitinawaytheywon'tbeperceivedasbragging.Andagain,thiscomesbackto,well,maybeIwon'tgopresentthatpaper,OrmaybeI'lltakeapanelinsteadofakeynote.
S2
Speaker 2
45:19
Andsotheirprofilesaren'traisedasmuch.Thereareatonofage-relateddoublestandards.Youngwomenaresupposedtobesexy,butnottoosexy.Oldwomenaresupposedtobeyounglooking,butnotyoungacting.
S2
Speaker 2
45:36
Grayhaironawomanisasignshe'soverthehill.Grayhaironamanmeanshe'scomingintohisprimeandwecantrusthim,right?IfThere'sjust,there'snoendofit.Andunfortunately,inadditiontojustbeingdifficulttonavigate,sometimesitjusthasatruecost.
S2
Speaker 2
45:53
Motherhoodgetspenalizedfinancially.Women'ssalariesgodownwhentheyhavechildren.Men'ssalariesgoupbecausenowthey'reperceivedasthebreadwinnerandtheyhaveto,youknow,takehomethebacon,eveniftheirwifeismakingmoremoney.Sothere'sjustnoendofthesedoublestandards.
S2
Speaker 2
46:09
We'regoingtocatalogasmanyofthemaswecanfind.AndI'llsendyouthelinkifyouwanttoincludeitintheshownotes.But,youknow,whatthethingthatfinallydiditformetounderstandthiswasthat,youknow,thatquote,GingerRogersdideverythingFredAstairedidbutbackwardsandinhighheels.Isthat,youknow,whenIheardthatquote,Iwaslike,Ineverthoughtofitthatway.
S2
Speaker 2
46:32
IneverevensawGingerRogers.Howawfulisthat?Thatthatbeautiful,lovely,accomplishedwomanthatcoulddancebackwardsinheels,andkeepupwithFredAstaireandactuallyoutshinehimalotofthetimewasinvisibletomebecauseIwasfollowingtheculturalnarrativethatthemale,especiallyamalewhowasgraceful,wasthebee'sknees,thethingtobeamazedat.AndIthinkthat'sthechallengeofthedoublestandardiswehavetoseeit,buttoseeit,wehavetogetoutsidetheculturallensthatsays,ofcourse,themenarethebreadwinners.
S2
Speaker 2
47:10
Andmenaren'tthebreadwinnersnearlyasoftenastheyusedtobe.Andeveniftheyare,women'ssalariesnowmatter.Weneedadoubleincomeinalotofcasestoachievethelifestylethatiscomfortableinourworld.Andsogettingoutsidethedoublestandardmeansseeingit.
S2
Speaker 2
47:26
Andthenitmeanshelpingotherpeopleseeitandcomeupwithvocabularythathelpsotherpeopleseeitwithoutsuccumbingtodefensiveanger.Andthat'satrick.Becauseofcourseyouseethedoublestandard,you'reangry,youhavearighttobeangry.Butangerbyitself,especiallyreactiveanger,canbackfire.
S2
Speaker 2
47:44
Soyouhavetogetpastyouranger.Andthenyouhavetobeabletoarticulatewellwhatisthealternative?Andthatishard.SoforGingerRogersthealternativewasshewasdancingbackwardsandinhighheelsAndthat'samazing.
S2
Speaker 2
48:02
Let'sseeFredAstairedance.JustimagineFredAstairedancingbackwardsandheelsandyouunderstandwhatafeatsheperformed.Butinthecaseofthemotherhoodpenaltyandthefatherhoodbonus,Whatisthealternativetothat?Well,itcouldbe,youknow,thewomanwhojusttookonmotherhoodnowhasamanagementchallengeinherdailylifethatno1elsecanappreciateifthey'veneverbeenaparentandaprimaryparent.
S2
Speaker 2
48:36
Andwhatskillsdoesthatgiveherintheworkplace?1ofthebeststoriesthatI'veheardrecentlywasChristineLagarde,whoIthinksherunstheIMFnowandforalongtimeshewasrunningliketheEuropeanCentralBankin1ofthose2organizations.SheactuallyhadanHRpolicy,ahiringpolicychangedthatIfawomanwasoutoftheworkforceforlike2to4yearsbecauseofmotherhood,shewasgivencreditformanagementskillsbecauseChristineLagardewasamotherandsheknewwhatittooktomanageyourhomeandyourhouseholdandyourchildren.Andshesaid,youknowwhat,thosemothers,they'vegotskillsweneed.
S2
Speaker 2
49:21
Let'svaluethem.Let'sputtruevalueontheminthehiringprocess.Now,I'massumingshemadesuretherewaspayequitytheretoo.Butifourhiringpracticesshiftedsothatmotherhoodbecamereasontogivepeoplecreditfortheirmanagementabilities,Ithinkthatthemotherhoodbonusmightchangealittlebit.
S2
Speaker 2
49:45
Andthosearethekindofwaysthattotakeadoublestandardandtoretellthatstoryinawaythatshowshowvaluablethethingsthatthatstandardhasbeenundervaluingaretoourorganizationsandourbusinesses,atleastitgetsaconversationgoingthatneedstobehad.Andinthebestcases,itretellsanarrative.Butwe'vejustgottotacklethosethings1atatimewhenwefindthem.
S1
Speaker 1
50:11
Thankyou.Thankyou.Thankyousomuchforyourresponse.
S1
Speaker 1
50:15
Thankyouforyourtimehere.Andinclosing,wouldyouliketoleaveanythingwithourlisteneranyadditionalinformation?So
S2
Speaker 2
50:29
IguesswhatIwouldjustsayisthatweareallsubjecttostereotype,menandwomenateveryage.Someofthosestereotypesactuallyhelpusandsomeofthemdon't.Buttoknowandsomeofthemaregenderedandsomeofthemaren't,youknow,likeage,whichisgendered,butit'salsoafunctionofage.
S2
Speaker 2
50:55
Andthetrickistocenteronyourselfandyourpowerandwhat'simportanttoyouandwhatyouwant.Goingbacktothatvision,what'syourvisionforyourlifeinthenextperiodoftime?Andlookatthestereotypes,lookatthedoublestandards,lookattheunfairnessesthroughthelensofwhatyouwantwhatyouvaluewhat'simportanttoyouandwhatyouneedAndwhenyoudothatandyouownThosethingswhatyouwantwhatyouneedwhoyouareandwhatyouvaluewhenyouownityousaythisiswhereI'mcomingfromSomeofthosedoublestandardssomeofthosestereotypeswilljustbelessimportantandotherswillbemoreimportant.Andthatgivesyoufocus.
S2
Speaker 2
51:40
ThatgivesyouyourpathforwardtofigureouthowdoIgetwhatIwantandwhatIneedandwhatIvaluenavigatingtherealityofmyworldthat'sgoingtoeitherpreventmefromgettingthereorgivemethepathbeyondit.Andthenyou'vegotanactionplan.Andsogoandstartinsideandmoveout.
S1
Speaker 1
52:03
Well,Dana,thankyousomuch.Ibelievethatwewereabletounpicksomeoftheoldthreadsandweavesomenewpatternstogetheronthisepisodeofthegender,theAnythingGenderpodcast.AndIwannathankyouforyourcontributionandmayallthatyoudobesuccessful.
S1
Speaker 1
52:32
AndIhopeyoucanbraceuswithyourpresenceonceagain.Thankyou.
S2
Speaker 2
52:37
Thankyousomuch.Thankyouforhostingthisdialogue,notjustforme,butforallourlistenersandeverybodywhowilltouchthisinthefuture.
S1
Speaker 1
52:45
It'sVeryimportant.Great.Thankyou.