Dad coach teaches you to attract Sex from your wife.

In this episode, Daniel and The Dad Coach, Aaron McDougall, explore the transformative journey of fatherhood and masculinity. Aaron shares his personal experiences of shifting from a tradie to a life coach, emphasizing the importance of embracing one's masculine side, navigating intimacy in relationships, and taking leadership roles. The conversation delves into the dynamics of attraction, the significance of physical presence, and the necessity of radical honesty in relationships. Practical takeaways for men are provided, encouraging them to step into their power and improve their relationships with their partners and children.

Daniel (00:02.2)
All right, let's go first episode of born to be kings starring the one and only dad coach Aaron McDougall mate, how are you?

The Dad Coach (00:10.734)
I'm well, mate. Thank you. Thank you for having me on. Really excited to get the ball rolling on your podcast. Enjoyed being in your community. yeah, excited to see where this goes,

Daniel (00:13.922)
Bye.

Daniel (00:19.766)
Yeah, me too. Me too, mate. Well, this podcast is brought to you by the kinsman brotherhood. We'd love to see you in there. Aaron, your dad's coach, you had an epiphany in your marriage, you shifted from being in a tradie to a dad's coach. Let's just dive straight in, mate. I want to I want you to just peel back the layers. don't need like how you become as far as your education. But what was that crucible moment where you just decided that you wanted to go completely different trajectory with your

life and business and marriage.

The Dad Coach (00:51.696)
Yeah, it's obviously it's been a journey and I think probably the biggest thing for me was moving to Australia, right? So I was like you said, I was a tradie back in the UK. had like a brief stint as a professional rugby player as well. And coming over to Oz just to play rugby sort of at a semi-professional level. And so I needed to work and my trade qualifications weren't recognised here. So I couldn't be a sparky. And I remember just thinking,

I can go back to, you know, go back to TAFE qualifying something that I'm really not passionate about. and I love Tony Robbins. love like motivational videos. I really, really loved, you know, just anything that was like personal development or psychology, anything like that. I just loved it. And it took me, reckon a couple of years to just grow the balls to say, actually, do you know what? I want to be a life coach. Like I want to do what Tony Robbins does. I want to be able to help people.

Make those kind of transformations in their own life so went down the rabbit hole of studying life coaching you know getting clients coaching and I think what I found was it was the ultimate. You used the word crucible like it was the ultimate crucible and and growth area for myself you know so I got into this world to help other people and then I started to realize there's a lot of stuff I've got to work on here myself and obviously you and I spoken about.

What my relationship with anger and sadness and being able to expect express my emotions step into more of my masculinity which has been you know dynamite in my in my marriage so yet becoming a life coach going on this lifelong journey of educating myself and and and healing and working on my relationship and then I guess the next step was after I had kids. And just seeing how.

That's when it just got stepped up to like a thousand, right? Like obviously life is challenging for all of us. And then we had three kids really close together. So we had three under three and my whole life just got flipped on its head. And a hundred percent, and I guess it was a make or break moment for me. I was like, look, I can seek comfort here. I can go back to what I know. I can go and get a trade. I can go work for my father-in-law.

Daniel (02:57.888)
Yeah, right. That's another crucible moment.

The Dad Coach (03:13.879)
get a job that pays well, that's easy, but I couldn't, I think, you know, it's like jumping out of the matrix, right? Like I'd had a taste of, I can't remember what pill it is. Is it the blue pill or the red pill? Like whatever pill it was that gave me a glimpse of like, this is what life can be like, you know, working for yourself. Yeah. The red pill, doing work you love, getting paid well for it, how that affects just my mental health, the people, you know, people like yourself, people I've get to connect with, there's no going back.

Daniel (03:31.458)
the red pill.

The Dad Coach (03:43.86)
Right. Once you've, my headphones full now, like once you've had a taste of that, it's hard to go back. So I just went all in on it, all in on the business. and I knew all the lessons I'd learned for myself about, you know, struggling as a dad, my intimacy drying up in my marriage, losing myself in the role of fatherhood. Like I definitely found I'm a good dad and I pride myself on that, but I lent too hard into that. You know, I kind of use my family as a bit of a,

An excuse, I suppose, a bit of a crutch, you know, it's like, I could go to the gym, but I've got to look after the kids or I could pursue this this area of business. But, you know, the kids are struggling, so I better stay home and help Ash with the kids. And it's like I was you. I was avoiding challenging myself in my life because it was easier to sort of stay at home and look after the kids.

Daniel (04:33.984)
Yeah, that like this so much I want to so much I want to unpack already. I want to come back to to where you're growing up. But I just want to dive down that rabbit hole quickly is you coach a lot of guys I coach a lot of guys. Is that something that you see commonly was guys give up on themselves give up in their dreams, give up on their bodies give up on their masculinity for the sake of and using that excuse of fatherhood.

The Dad Coach (04:36.203)
Ha

The Dad Coach (05:00.588)
I think so. I a lot of it, this is my experience of it. don't know. We like, I think a lot of guys just almost, they don't see like they've got a choice. it's, it's kind of the narrative, isn't it? It's like you grow up, you spend your, your twenties, maybe early thirties. Maybe you play footy. Maybe you like training in the gym. You're going out, your party and you're chasing women. You having fun, right? You're having a lot of fun.

pushing yourself physically if you're playing like a decent level of sport. And then it's like, it's that settling down, isn't it? I think that's like such a myth where what I'm finding in my relationship, and I know you're the same in yours is my marriage is like the most intimate, exciting, challenging relationship I've ever had. And I think as you get older, your life gets more challenging. Like it just does, you know, there's health issues, there's financial pressure,

Daniel (05:57.943)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (05:59.18)
A lot of us take on more responsibility in work or start businesses or whatever it is. So it's only natural that we want to seek some kind of comfort. And that comfort comes in the form of like watching Netflix instead of going to the gym in the evening, right? Or not starting a side hustle or putting ourselves out there in the world or having those difficult, like the last thing we want to do, like if we've had a really challenging day at work and our backs killing us and we get home and the kids have been like stressing us out.

We finally get the kids to bed the last thing you want to do is sit down with your wife and say. Babe we've got to talk like I'm I didn't I mean sit down and go I'm really struggling with the lack of intimacy in our relationship and I feel like.

Daniel (06:38.878)
was that something that you struggled with? Because I know that you've had a huge shift, like you've you've really stepped up and stood into your truth as a man. Tell me how like, tell me what that was like, when when the intimacy did drive, like, if we're talking to guys out there, there's so many guys out there going to be watching this going, I'm going through the exact same thing. And it's brave as fuck to be able to have that conversation. And it's like, something that I avoided for years in my marriage. And it just ultimately cost me my marriage, right?

The Dad Coach (07:06.471)
Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel (07:08.562)
And with you, caught it and you stood into the face of fear and you said something. What was that moment like? Like, did you like, did you procrastinate? I know you've got all of these tools and skills and this is what we want to teach men to go like there's a benefit on the other side of this fear and comfort and sedation.

The Dad Coach (07:18.152)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (07:26.249)
Yeah, 100%. I think for me, it's one of those things, isn't it? I actually approach this as a conversation in my relationship quite frequently and it didn't really go anywhere. Because what I found was there was there was always like a legitimate reason for us not to be having, you know, as much sex as I'd like, whether that was obviously, you know, my wife has, I think we worked out.

My son was four recently and I think we worked out like Ash had been pregnant basically the whole time, know, the whole time. So there's, there's that there was before that we were living with her parents for a while while we were renovating our house. And then before that, you know, when we were younger, before we got married, we lived with housemates and there was always like these reasons why we weren't having a lot of sex because of all these external reasons. Right. So I had, we had the conversation a lot and it didn't really go anywhere. And it wasn't until

Daniel (08:00.737)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (08:23.408)
Like you said, I kind of looked in the mirror and started educating myself on this. And I was like, hang on a sec. There's behaviors, there's things I'm not bringing to this relationship. And my wife, so just really quickly, men have like an active sex drive, right? So you and I, the classic example I give, I was actually in Byron Bay playing rugby. I broke three ribs and I was bedridden for a few days. Like I couldn't do anything. And I remember

on the second day or something, I could hardly set up to get a drink of water and Ash was like, you know, I wish you weren't in bed right now. Cause I'm feeling really horny. And I was like, don't let that stop you. I was like, I'm good. I'm literally like lying here on paid medication and you know, I'm like,

Daniel (09:02.284)
You

Daniel (09:07.648)
It's just like, give me another Panadine Fort and we're good to go, Daddy's coming to play.

The Dad Coach (09:10.055)
Yeah, 100%, 100%. So, yeah, men have a really active sex drive, whereas most women, I think it's like 80 % of women have a reactive sex drive. they're not even really thinking about sex until we do something that turns them on, right, until we are seducing them. And so many of us are not taught how to do, you know, it's not what you see in the movies, it's not what you see in porn, it's not what-

You you saw your dad do growing up it's like that there's certain behaviors that we do and that kind of biologically. It's like evolutionary biology right there's this thing that men are attracted to and there things that women are attracted to and I just wasn't bringing that to my relationship I was being I was being overly nice and you know I was being a nice guy I was avoiding conflict I you know I was avoiding. Avoiding my sexuality pretending like I didn't.

want to have sex all the time acting like it didn't bother me when you know when I was getting rejected and almost becoming like friends owned in my own marriage that's the way I like to put it you know that classic like I don't know if you experienced this growing up I certainly did where you'd like a good girl and you'd like try and get close to her and you'd she'd be like I love you like a friend you know you're like a brother to me yeah exactly.

Daniel (10:30.464)
Yeah, you put in the friendzone and then you're done. So some come back to that thing about the seduction because there's a couple of things in there you said about what men want and what women want but come back, give the guys an insight as to when the seduction actually starts. Like is it five minutes before sex with a bit of foreplay or when does it when does it actually start?

The Dad Coach (10:47.703)
Yeah, yeah, it's a good su-

The Dad Coach (10:53.837)
May it starts so I think the best way to do this is just look at the edit in its whole. It's whole element and break it down so you and I we're running hardware that's like at least 10,000 years old so the fact that we're talking you know over technology over the internet using Wi-Fi you know our bodies we you know we're still living in a cave huddled around the fire.

killing animals with with stones. So. 100%, 100%. So I like to look back to, well. What what did you know, because we obviously had our predefined roles back then, right? So men were the protectors and the providers of the tribe. So our role, you know, was to to be physically strong, mentally tough enough, you know, trustworthy that we would go out, you know, we would hunt.

Daniel (11:25.698)
Primal needs, the brothers.

The Dad Coach (11:51.958)
we would protect and we would come, you know, come back to the cave and protect our women and children. So women are, you know, most women are biologically wired to find, like physical strength, like high testosterone, physical strength, but it's, it's deeper than that too. You know, that's more of the shallow part of it. It's like men who are a little bit dangerous is really attractive. I give the example of, I don't know you've seen Outlander, like

Women go crazy for the guy from Outlander. I forget his name, Fraser, he's got a soft side and a gentle side and he's really nurturing and caring. But a big part of it, he's a dangerous guy. He will literally, 100%, 100 % and I-

Daniel (12:25.431)
Yeah.

Daniel (12:38.4)
He flips the switch. It's it's risk. Women are attracted to risk.

The Dad Coach (12:43.713)
They are but but yeah but it's also it's safe it's safety too so it's it's it's risky for other you know James is dangerous for other men but he's not dangerous for Claire who's you know who's the love interest in the story.

Daniel (12:56.926)
Exactly. It's not risk towards her. He's willing to take risks to protect the people that he loves or to create a stable environment or to create conditions for like, as you said, for safety and for providing

The Dad Coach (13:00.449)
100 %

The Dad Coach (13:09.377)
100 % so it's it's we've kind of lost it haven't we in modern society where unfortunately there's been abuses right that you know we know domestic violence is an all-time high and we know that there have been generations of men who've used their you know they've had the control in in the finances and you know women couldn't even buy a house years ago without you know the man presence so there's definitely been abuses of power by men in the past and

Like all things in life, as we've tried to correct it, I think we've overcorrected and there's a lot of men out there who I certainly was. I was scared to step into that because I didn't want to seem like I was domineering or abusive or controlling, right? So.

Daniel (13:56.428)
Because you didn't have a I'm assuming that you didn't have a healthy display of what healthy power was right because like I think there's a really, really important distinction. I speak about it a lot the difference between power and control. Like power is an internal thing power like we can feel powerful, we can feel good about ourselves, certain confident, and we exude power but a lot of men have an internal locus of

control where they're trying to control everything around them. Rather than being powerful. Right. So tell me that let's explore that for me the difference between if men are trying like that whole thing controlling money versus say a guy wants to step into his healthy power in a relationship. How does he go about that?

The Dad Coach (14:41.47)
It's a good question and I think it's a little bit different for everyone and but. The gold standard is probably. I always say like to my clients is if you can book like a date night for your wife. Where the kids are taken care of you've booked.

Accommodate like not and like nice accommodation to not just you know like you've booked somewhere and it's not all about money right like that don't misunderstand me it's not about because I say this to people and they're like. I've got to get like an overnight babysitter and I got to do this I got to do this I got to do this like obviously this was within your means but this is an investment in your relationship this is important so if you can and it ideally it's a surprise and because if we kind of checking in with our wife women have huge.

A huge mental load like they they there's a lot going on in their heads and an amount like they're emotionally overstimulated as well so the more we can take care of as the masculine relationship like as the man the more we gonna free up that mental load the more the more she's gonna be able to like switch off that part of her brain which is logical which is quite masculine right because we want to be able to let you probably heard these like buzzwords masculine and feminine but all it really means is.

If our woman's constantly in her head and like being logistical and trying to sort out what's for dinner and sort out the bills and organize this and organize the kids and organize what we're doing at the weekend, then she's.

Daniel (16:15.852)
She ain't one to get laid. She's not thinking about you as insects and anything ever.

The Dad Coach (16:18.11)
100 % because she needs to be able to relax and shop. Yep, 100%. And that's what we were talking about. How the foreplay actually starts when it's, it might sound weird, but like foreplay in our house or like foreplay in my client's relationships, like doing a meal plan for the family for the week. Cause what you've done is you've gone and by meal plan, I don't mean like sitting down and being like, babe, what are we going to have on Monday? What are we going to have on Tuesday? Because.

Daniel (16:39.703)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (16:47.614)
That's not that's not leadership right that's kind of like.

Daniel (16:50.356)
it's giving it's just more decision and decisions that she has to make and as humans, it's something that I learned that we do.

The Dad Coach (16:52.382)
100%. 100%. But, on the flip side, we're not just like, you're eating salad this week because you're getting a little bit tubby because that's just asshole territory. Right? So it's like, where, where's the healthy balance of like, okay, sit down. I'm going to do a meal plan. so classic example, I enjoy cooking. So I actually do most of the cooking in our house and for a long, long time.

Daniel (17:04.886)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (17:20.126)
I would be like, Hey babe, what do you want for dinner tonight? Thinking I'm going to include her in a decision-making and that's me being like nice, right? And just, cause I don't want to cook something. He doesn't want to eat, right? So I'd ask her what she'd want to eat and she'd go, I don't mind. Like, what do we have it? And with like, without a failed nine times out of 10, I'd be like, I'm going to do like a Thai curry. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. And she'd be like, I don't really fancy that tonight. And I'll be like, okay. So I just run a little experiment where I would just.

Daniel (17:46.36)
Thank

The Dad Coach (17:50.046)
cook and then serve it up. And she's never like never gone. I'm blowing my trumpet here. I'm a pretty good cook, right? But she's never gone. I don't like this. Yeah. Or not finished it. But I think the key takeaway for me was just like, if I kind of ask her what she wants, she gets over analytical about it and then gets in their head. Do you know what I mean? She just thinks, I want something super healthy. Yep.

Daniel (18:00.908)
Take the wins, brother, take the wins.

Daniel (18:15.756)
was just another decision that she just another decision that she has to make on top of the 8,000 decisions. So so the foreplay starts, you know, for the Cliff Notes for the men, the foreplay starts really in the kitchen, a week before it starts.

The Dad Coach (18:23.134)
100 %

The Dad Coach (18:32.894)
100%. Just, just any, yeah. Anywhere you can provide structure, excuse me. And whether that's like a calendar meal plan, ideas for stuff to do with the kids, automating like bills, finances, taking care of the mortgage or rent payment. Because, you know, as much of that as you can take care of, we're freeing up that space and the more we can free up that mental load in our woman.

Like you say that she's going to be able to switch off and she's going to be. Receptive to our masculinity and our attractiveness which is going to turn her on which is going to increase sex in a relationship in like an incredible way.

Daniel (19:18.326)
Yeah, I love that. I love that because I hear guys all the time. And they're like, you give them the advice and are you spoken about this? And you give them the advice and they're like, yeah, go take your wife out on a date night. And then they text message their wife and say, book the restaurant, organize the babysitter, XYZ. And it's just a complete train wreck because the

The wife's completely stressed out from doing it or organizing all there's no romance, there's no surprise, there's no nothing.

The Dad Coach (19:52.286)
Yeah, like the gold standard is, and I hear this from a lot of women because it's really interesting. When I started doing this work, I had a lot of women reach out to me and say, I really like, love your work. I really want my husband to work with you, but he's not, you know, how do I, how do I make it work with you? And that kind of sucks because it's, she's so, what that's telling me is she's so used to making a decision in a relationship. She's like trying to make the decision for her husband to come and do the work. And that's

Unfortunately, that's not leadership, right? Because if she's telling her husband to go get... It's so common. Yeah. But I...

Daniel (20:26.072)
It's very common, though. It's very, it's very common. The woman will be walking out the door and the guy will be like, I just I know I didn't see it coming. And she's like, you had Aaron's number for six months. You've had Daniel's number for six months. Why? What are you doing? That's another conversation. I want to come back to. So if you think about there's guys out there that grew up like you did.

The Dad Coach (20:37.48)
Yes!

The Dad Coach (20:41.822)
Yeah, yeah, that's a whole nother conversation, isn't it? But

The Dad Coach (20:54.878)
Mmm.

Daniel (20:55.384)
they grew up fucking hard, right? Like you grew up, I know you, I know your story. You grew up in a, a rough neighborhood. You played rugby, like you guys are killers. You got all this aggression. It's got all this anger. How does, how does that dealing with those emotions like dealing with, know we did some anger work together, how does dealing with those

The Dad Coach (21:03.358)
Mmm.

The Dad Coach (21:07.463)
Yeah.

Daniel (21:17.208)
the anger, getting in touch with your emotions, finding that healthy power. How have you seen that translate into your own marriage? Like how did that, that shift where you kind of just shoved shit down, didn't deal with stuff. Just, know, you're a blokey guy. You like your fit, you're strong, you're big. And man, you played rugby, rugby union in, in UK, like you're hard as fuck. Right. How does, how does that,

The Dad Coach (21:19.741)
Yep.

The Dad Coach (21:30.749)
Mmm.

The Dad Coach (21:40.147)
Yeah, yeah, thank you.

Daniel (21:46.39)
that transition that you notice that shift with how you showed up in your relationship and how did that affect the marriage?

The Dad Coach (21:54.995)
There's that's a really good question there's a lot coming up for me when you're saying that so I think. Probably the first thing to address was I think part of the reason I did suppress my masculinity for so long is because I am big and strong and I know you probably know more about this world than I do but it's that kind of that shadow side of us that animalistic side of us a lot of us are scared of it so for me I.

I pretended like I wasn't this big strong dangerous guy that could do a lot of damage right where now I'm more it's I own that now you know it's I think Jordan Peterson says it doesn't he's like there's no virtue to being a weak man like a weak man has to be kind and and good and generous cause he's got no choice right where is a dangerous man it's like I treat my.

wife and my family and the people around me with respect because I choose to do that. Right. It's not, and I don't know, it can be misconstrued because it's not like a, I could just, you I don't know, go and yell and scream and throw my weight around and get what I want. But I've got that under control and I've always had it under control. But yeah, there was a part of me that for a while that was suppressing that and hiding that. had a, sorry, did you have a question on that?

Daniel (22:58.391)
Yeah, I that.

The Dad Coach (23:22.073)
Did I cut you off?

Daniel (23:23.22)
No, I get it. think it's great.

The Dad Coach (23:26.287)
Yeah. go on.

Daniel (23:27.49)
Say hi to the

How did your, when you really tapped into that anger and didn't fear that anger. Cause I think a lot of guys, they, they don't know how to deal with their emotions. They find them out. you, like they're, we're all capable of violence. We're all capable of destruction and what happens in marriages. And you know, you sort of says a lot of domestic violence and a lot of shit like this. That's just unacceptable for men because men don't know how to

The Dad Coach (23:42.424)
Hmm.

Daniel (23:58.344)
deal with emotions in private, because otherwise they just spill over everyone. Because and they don't deal with them because they're scared of them, but they come out anyway. How once you like tapped into that ability to like, no, I'm this powerful man, but like, it's just a part of me. How did that affect intimacy and passion in your relationship? Because we can't suppress one side of us without suppressing the other.

The Dad Coach (24:22.636)
Yeah, yeah. Night and day, mate. It was dynamite for my relationship. Being able to, so obviously by doing it, like embracing, you know, my shadow side, my darker side, being comfortable with like my anger, my sexuality, that dangerous side of me. It did two things. I think the first thing it did was it, it's made me a lot more comfortable with other people's anger.

Like now I'm in touch with my own anger. I'm not avoiding conflict. I'm happy to speak my mind. I'm happy to call people out and things. I'm happy to speak my mind to my wife. And this is something that, you know, women find really attractive is a man who can be honest. And it's so counterintuitive because most of the time I'm honest with, with my wife, Ash, I actually piss her off and she'll, she'll get upset and she might leave or she might shut down. She might close off.

Now I was conditioned from childhood and just past relationships to avoid that because I thought if my wife's angry at me that's bad. But what I now know is if I've brought something up and pissed my wife off that could be good or that could be bad. It's kind of that's not the most important thing. The most important thing there is I've been honest and expressed my truth what I'm thinking how I'm feeling to my wife and she respects the hell out of that because.

Big part of you know masculinity is about as you know like being that kind of being that rock being truthful and honest and so my wife and I have been experimenting with them extreme ownership extreme honesty so I'll say exactly where I'm at exactly how I'm feeling and it pisses her off but she respects that and it increases the attraction and the other thing is it just brings this kind of primal.

Daniel (26:06.295)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (26:19.944)
You know kind of primal side into the actual sex itself into the bedroom where you can just get a bit more rough a bit more intense and your partner really responds to that because there's a you know there's a part of her and that again that kind of 10,000 year old part that just loves the big tough caveman in you that's just going to sort of pick her up and take her back to the cave so yeah 100%.

Daniel (26:43.798)
Yeah, she wants to be ravished, right? She wants to be she wants to be desired. And like, by you ravishing her, and being physical in a healthy way is actually showing her cells like her physical cells that women respond to that that she feels desired, and that she's wanted in that she has a place in this world, right? Because going back to that evolutionary psychology, we're hardwired to procreate to reproduce for the sake of the species.

The Dad Coach (26:52.744)
Yeah

The Dad Coach (27:02.474)
100%.

Daniel (27:11.488)
So she feels sexual and ravished. She she's fulfilling her duty to the world like and that's not like a women's sexual. is their Judy. It's like I'm just talking about evolutionary psychology, right?

The Dad Coach (27:21.481)
100 % 100 % and I think that's really important in this conversation is we we can separate because sexual attraction is not politically correct it doesn't take into account hundreds of years of of really positive social development and improvement right so it's yeah.

Daniel (27:42.25)
Yeah, so before I want to I want to jump straight in there because I have to talk to you about this you put like your posts have been getting braver and braver and more honest and more truthful and just really lifting the lid on what men actually don't say and what women actually want and they've been begging for and guys have been begging for but don't say women say it all the time. Talk to me about that post wrote about like what

The Dad Coach (27:51.155)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (27:57.768)
Yeah, yeah.

Daniel (28:08.396)
was the difference that really made the improvement in your marriage. don't know, we just talked about it off air.

The Dad Coach (28:12.647)
Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. And thank you for the acknowledgement. So yeah, a big part of it was my worst personal trainer. She's incredible shape. I love how she looks. I tell her all the time, you know, I'm like, babe, you know, she's in, you know, she was saying this, you know, she's in her thirties now mid thirties, but she just looks, you know, she's just blowing away all the 20 year olds in the gym every time we go there. And I love that. I love her walking around in active wear.

I'm obsessed with my own wife and I think that's really really important because evolutionary as we were talking about before I know that my attraction is a man. Again evolutionary biology I'm looking for a woman who's physically healthy and you know genetically healthy that's why we find symmetry so attractive right because it's an it's a it's a sign of like healthy genetics so.

Daniel (29:05.122)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (29:05.447)
Yep. I know like when know, Ash has got her hair done and she's been in the gym and she's dressed up. I'm attracted to that. You know, that's, that doesn't mean I'm shallow.

Daniel (29:13.25)
But the thing is, that the thing is, is that she knows that you know that and that she's willing to do that for you. And it's not some weird like controlling you must look good for me. It's like, no, she, you said this and it was beautiful. It's like, she knows what I need as a man, which is to look good for me. Right. And then you said it's like, but I know what she needs is to be emotionally available to her to meet her emotional needs. And I thought that's a beautiful dance.

The Dad Coach (29:19.091)
Yeah, 100%.

The Dad Coach (29:31.527)
Yep. Yep.

The Dad Coach (29:39.313)
Yep. Yep.

Daniel (29:41.784)
It's like both people asking for what they want, no shame, no controlling, no nothing. And it was, it was just, it was just incredible to me because I always have this thing in my mind. And I did a post about it the other day is that couples, they, you see them in 12 months after they get divorced, they look the best they've ever looked.

The Dad Coach (29:45.971)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (30:03.987)
Hmm.

Daniel (30:04.528)
spiritually, they're in the best place. They're looking after themselves. They're focusing on themselves, like their internal world and personal development and all of these things. And they look good. They feel good. They've worked on their traumas. They've done all this stuff, but they've done it 12 months too late after the end of the divorce. So I love that. What you're teaching guys is to be able to do that inside the marriage.

The Dad Coach (30:29.897)
100 % and it's so sad that it's like so many and you know, let's be clear, some people shouldn't be together. Some people are in abusive relationships. And of course, like, you you, you're better off for everyone and the kids to just leave that relationship. But so many, see it so often and obviously the communities I'm in, you know, as soon as someone's expresses any kind of concern or issue in their marriage, it's like.

guys are over like she's cheating on you leave, know, document everything, get lawyers involved. And it's just like your wife is just crying out for you to step up, but she, doesn't know how the language is to you. Right. And I guess the really frustrating.

Daniel (31:15.712)
Exactly. how did she eat? It's like, so they see it as nagging.

The Dad Coach (31:19.785)
They do, but I also think this is so deeply ingrained in us that we don't necessarily know how to have this conversation, right? So I'll give you the classic example. In my, the signs are there and that we just have to start looking at actions. So Ash never said to me, Aaron, you're not stepping into your masculine. I don't feel safe. I don't respect you as much as I could. I don't feel like you're living at your edge and that-

You're this big, strong, tough guy that I'm really attracted to. She didn't say any of those words to me. She told me that she loved me. She told me I was a great dad. We enjoyed and we still do enjoy an incredible friendship. But we just weren't having sex. So I think that that's the barometer where I approach with so many of my clients. It's just like if the man sex drive isn't there, it's generally either

Daniel (31:54.464)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (32:18.077)
Like low testosterone or he's just, you know, maybe he doesn't feel physically attracted to his wife anymore. Or there might be like some emotional stuff going on there, but not as frequently. And then if, the women's, the women's sex drive is low and I've had it with clients, know, like their wives been having like hormonal issues. And obviously there's the whole, unfortunately the

The dance of sexual sexual trauma like so many people especially women have had horrible experiences sexually so you know that's another hurdle that we have to.

Daniel (32:57.824)
It is a shitstorm, right? It's a shitstorm because the guy pulls back.

right, he withdraws, he shuts down manner like completely that's there from a lot of men that I've known that we don't have any access to emotion. So we just default to avoidance, right, so that then compounds the woman then so like what you said before, she goes into a masculine, she overdoes things, constantly overdoing taking on that leadership role. And my, my opinion

The Dad Coach (33:04.457)
Mmm.

The Dad Coach (33:15.475)
Hmm.

Daniel (33:30.18)
And I used to coach a lot of women. It's like they, they, that hormonal stuff. And a lot of that stuff comes from just complete burnout from doing everything for everyone constantly.

The Dad Coach (33:40.273)
Yep. Yep. And, and I guess also what I found with my clients is it's kind of that thing where there's always, you know, how I mentioned before, like at the beginning of the podcast, how there was always like a pretty legitimate reason for why my wife and I weren't having sex. Like they were all legitimate reasons, right? Like it wasn't like, but just how I said I was, you know, I was

Excited to have sex with like three broken ribs on a lot of painkillers as we increase the attraction yet the outside reasons and influences excuses become less important. So we're never going to get rid of all the barriers to our relationship. Like if we're sitting around going I just want to wait until the kids move out and we're both in great shape and we feel closer and connected and we're not stressed about money and we're not stressed about you know.

Daniel (34:13.663)
Let's go.

The Dad Coach (34:37.55)
mortgage or the house or whatever it is, those things never come. Right. And it's by the time your kids move out of house, you know, your health is probably not going to be where it is now. So I, that's what I try and say to my clients and I'm coached couples as well at the moment is I want to acknowledge the challenges that you have, whether it's health issues or, or, or, you know, hormonal issues or whatever it might be. But generally what I find is when we get this

The masculine and feminine dance right, you the polarity that attraction is so strong that you just bust through all of these external issues. Yeah, because I literally had a couple I coached this morning on this. You either let all of those challenges on life drive a wedge between you or they actually push you together and make you even closer and even stronger.

Daniel (35:08.887)
Yes.

Daniel (35:14.092)
convening and excuses.

Daniel (35:31.51)
Yeah, I love that. So these convenient excuses that all couples have, like, let's just call it, call it what it call it what it is. They've all got these convenient excuses. They because life's busy. There's kids, there's competing priorities for everyone's attention. So these convenient, I always call them convenient excuses or stories. Stop us from having the life that we want. Because both couples, both people in the relationship are desperately unhappy.

Right. But given this is a podcast for men and born to be kings, how come we, I want to give you the three, three power takeaways that men can like go straight, like take these three takeaways and just like, almost like read the script before they go and talk to their wife or before they plan a date night to get the power back to change the dynamic in the relationship.

The Dad Coach (36:04.104)
Hmm.

The Dad Coach (36:27.698)
Yep. Yeah. I think probably the first thing that I advise all my clients to do is go and lift weights in the gym. Like there's no magic pills in life. This for me is as close as you can get to for your relationship because it gets you out the house. So that's really important thing. Like physical space is really important for breeding attraction.

That's one of the reasons we're so attracted to someone in honeymoon phases. We're not around them all the time. know, men are supposed to go off and hunt them and be gone, you know, and then come back and spend, but you've got to be present, right? When you come back, you've got to be present. You've got to be invested. You can't be on your phone checking emails, whatever it is. So get out the house, go and lift. Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel (37:13.89)
So come back just before you do before you go on. Sorry to interrupt before you go on. Just give me like a minute on that being present part because guys just think because they're in the house. Well, I'm home. I'm So before you because this is so important. So before you just keep going on because I know that weightlifting is but just give me a minute on that presence part.

The Dad Coach (37:24.178)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The Dad Coach (37:35.756)
OK, two reasons, right? I reckon men are not present firstly because they're uncomfortable. OK, sorry, there's three things here. The first thing is men we're conditioned to only feel worthy if we're being productive. OK, so generally, yeah, generally like I hear this from mums all the time as a woman. Like if you're at home spending time with your kids.

Daniel (37:53.046)
That is so important, dude. That is gold advice.

The Dad Coach (38:05.207)
generally that's like a socially acceptable thing, right? We know that's of worth. like if Ash is at home with the kids, I'm not saying that's by any mean easy because I've been the, you know, the main parent for a while with our kids too. And that's a whole nother conversation. I respect anyone, anyone that stays at home and watches their kids. Like it's so important. And it, you know, it's really, really hard work. Mate, I've just lost my train of thought. Can you remind me where we were at?

Daniel (38:35.698)
Just like why is it so important for guys to be present because they say, well, I'm home, I'm here, but they're not they're checking emails, they're on their phones. They're just they're there, but they're not there. They're 1000 miles away. Like I've been there when I was my corporate job, like I was completely checked out.

The Dad Coach (38:38.893)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

The Dad Coach (38:48.505)
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So on that, I think we just, we don't feel valuable at home. We kind of feel a bit worthless. We felt like we feel like dead shits or dead weight, almost lazy. We're like, I'm here. I'm a dad now. What do dads do? They make money. How do I contribute to my family? I make money. Most guys aren't comfortable being fathers. Maybe they didn't have a good role model with their dad. Maybe they weren't sure how to be with children. So often

Daniel (39:14.807)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (39:17.836)
When guys become fathers, they're like, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel kind of useless. And this adds a whole other dynamic where if our wife's in her masculine and she's like, you don't change his nappy like this. You do this or you give them grapes. You have to cut the grapes. She doesn't trust him, but he's also not taking the initiative to learn how to parent. So...

Daniel (39:35.812)
Because she doesn't trust him. Is that right? Like she's not trusting. He hasn't given her any reason to trust it.

The Dad Coach (39:47.476)
It's she's being overly masculine. He feels useless. And he's just like, I actually feel a lot more like people respect me at work. I'm good at my job. So I get significance. I get respect by being at work. I'd actually rather just be at work right now than at home. I'll go make some more money and then like we'll get a new car or we'll go have a holiday. And yeah. So one, they just don't feel valuable at home. So they, they'd rather just not be there. Two,

Daniel (40:05.876)
And that sort of fixes things.

The Dad Coach (40:18.63)
It's a distraction because being a, you know, being a new parent, especially it's scary, right? You're there's anger, there's resentment, there's sadness, all these wonderful emotions that I know in your work, you have encouraged men to express and feel. So many of us are uncomfortable with that, myself included, like especially, you know, I'm better at it now, but not so much in the past. So if we're sat there and we're feeling angry or we're feeling sad or we're feeling disappointed in our lives.

We distract ourselves with our phone, with emails, TV, Netflix, whatever it is. So we can't be present because being present means being in touch with how you feel internally. Right. It's not just about like if I'm if I'm with my wife being present doesn't mean I'm fully focused on her. I'm actually focusing on how I'm feeling and where I'm at. if. Yeah. Well, we're not taught how we're we're suppressed emotionally. Yeah.

Daniel (40:51.744)
Yeah, exactly.

Daniel (41:07.894)
And that is so hard for men to do. Because they will and also to they've got so much exactly. We've got so much unsafety in their body from not having a masculine presence growing up that that they could feel safe around. So they don't feel safe in their own skin.

The Dad Coach (41:27.997)
Yeah.

Daniel (41:30.488)
So come back to the like the I interrupted you and we went down a bit of rabbit hole but thought that's so important for guys to be present at home. Keep going with the weights and then the other two just got a real hard takeaway for these men.

The Dad Coach (41:34.235)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (41:42.385)
Yeah. So lifting weights is that kind of magic pill where we're increasing testosterone, but you're lifting weights, we're building muscle throughout history, throughout culture. Women have always found men with like bigger chest and arms and upper bodies is more attractive. Like it's one of the main, I don't know, continual themes throughout, you know, culture, society, whatever it is. Yeah. So women are, you know, are attracted to that.

Like I said, it gets you out the house. It's just good for your overall health and mental health anyway. It's, you know, it's great to socialize. So I really encourage all my guys join a gym, start lifting weights. I don't care if you've never lifted before. Yes, it's scary. Like it's scary going into a gym. Like my wife's a personal trainer. We own our own gym. I, you know, grew up playing rugby. I've played professional rugby. I'm no stranger to the gym.

I probably didn't train for about three years after my son was born. I was nervous as hell going back into the gym, right? I didn't know what I was doing. I felt weak. I just felt like an idiot, but you just got to do it. Like it's so important for your health. Like men have evolved to pick up rocks, throw things, wrestle, hunt, kill, fight. Like we, that's what we're meant to do. And if we're not emulating that in some way, we're depressed. Like it's as simple as that. So,

Daniel (42:49.716)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (43:11.272)
find ideally you'd be lifting weights or you'd be doing some kind of like, I've done a bit of BJJ and Krav Maga, which are like, since I stopped playing rugby, there's just been this real itching me to get physical again. And controlled violence is again, it's that's just like, you know, dynamite for, for just you as a man and your relationship and everything else. So, but yeah, lifting weights is kind of the minimum, like get to the gym, lift weights. The second thing I would be is

Daniel (43:11.767)
Yep.

Daniel (43:25.026)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (43:42.171)
Practice honesty with your wife. And the best example I heard of this was imagine they call it cleaning the glass. So imagine like between you and your partner, there's like a pain of glass. every time. And here's the thing, people think honesty is about, well, I don't lie to my wife, so I'm being honest, but it's deeper than that. It's like every time I want to say something to her, but I don't like I bite my tongue. You know, if there's.

something that she does that frustrates me or just, not necessarily a criticism, but you know what I mean? Just these things that we're like, I'm just going to keep the peace. I'm not going to, I don't want to rock the boat. You know, every time we bite that back, that's, yeah, it's a smudge on the glass. Right. So, you know, maybe we grew up and like, you know, your, your mom was over overly argumentative or always arguing at your dad. So we kind of,

Daniel (44:25.891)
That's like an epidemic with men.

The Dad Coach (44:38.948)
We don't want to rock the boat, right? We avoid that. But yeah, so every, every time we tell a little white lie or withhold the truth, that's like a smudge on the glass. And then you've got actual full on lies, you know, where we're, it might even be like, I heard a great example of like a guy was, he was actually like finishing work and then go into the cinema after work one day a week. Cause he just needed space from his wife and kids.

But he told his wife he was working late and when she found out she was like so upset and the lesson was like if he'd have just gone to his wife and said once a week, I'm going to be home two hours late because I'm taking time for myself. She'd have been pissed off because she's like, I'm at home with the kids all day. Like, what do mean you're doing that? But when he was actually like, I need this for my mental health, babe, this is really important. I'm going to do this and I'll give you the same during the week. Like I'll give you two hours during the week. I'll reciprocate that.

That kind of honesty, she really respected, actually brought them closer together. So, you know, in his mind, he justified it was like, I'm not like cheating on her. I'm not going to like the pub. Yeah, yeah. But it was that wasn't the issue. The issue was the dishonesty and that, you know, in the clear the glass analogy, that's like a huge clump of mud. Right. So the more white lies, untruths and actual lies we tell.

Daniel (45:46.392)
I've gotten to the strip is.

Daniel (45:53.015)
Yes.

The Dad Coach (46:03.178)
it smudges the glass and we can't see each other. We're not connected. And what we want to do is the more honest we are, the clearer that glass is, the better we can see each other. And the better we can see our partner, the deeper that connection is and the more intimacy we're going to have. So I would really encourage practicing kind of like radical honesty. And it's like, it gets worse before it gets better. You you're going to piss your wife off. You're going to piss your woman off. That's part of being in a relationship. Like,

And she's testing you too, and that's like another rabbit hole, but like she wants... Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel (46:35.574)
No, but we can, we can, we don't have time for that. We could go feminine test. That might be another another episode for a feminine testing podcast.

The Dad Coach (46:44.75)
100 % 100 % but just but just knowing that she would rather you make her absolutely furious with the truth than try and please her with a lie in a nutshell I would say that and then the third thing would be so we're to go to the yeah we're to go to the gym we're going to practice she would rather.

Daniel (47:01.526)
I love that. Can you say that again? It's much rather make a furious with the truth.

The Dad Coach (47:10.35)
Then please over the lie.

Daniel (47:13.344)
Yeah, because that ends up just being completely destructive.

The Dad Coach (47:16.622)
100 % and you're just you know you're not being you're not being congruent if you're not being congruent if you're not living in your truth that you're not being a man you're not being masculine so that's what she wants she doesn't want. Yes man like she doesn't want someone to take care of her that way she wants you to take care of yourself because the stronger you are as a man. The better you can take care of it again go back 10,000 years you know the woman doesn't want the man who like.

gets her the most flowers. It's like, he's the biggest, strongest, best hunter there is. I'm safe with that guy. I want that guy. He's going to give me children. He's going to look after the children. Again, it's not politically correct. It doesn't take our feelings into account, but it doesn't matter. Like once we understand that, but we can leverage it. You know, that's why women put fake eyelashes on, right? And wear, you know, Spanx and Lorna Jane tights so their bums look better. It's the same thing, right? It's just...

Daniel (47:53.068)
Yep.

The Dad Coach (48:15.093)
It's leveraging the natural attraction that we have for the opposite sex. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like my relationship. Yeah.

Daniel (48:21.846)
Yeah, I think it's it's just it's doing what works. It's like it's and it's not being incongruent. I think it's like people get caught on this whole thing. you just been incongruent? No, like I'm doing what works. It's a game that we're playing called life. And everyone has their needs and everyone's seeking to get their needs met.

The Dad Coach (48:26.999)
Yeah!

The Dad Coach (48:35.917)
Hmm

The Dad Coach (48:40.353)
Yeah, but I think people, we worry about being shallow, I think. It's like an either or situation.

Daniel (48:46.868)
people do like, well, you're, you know, people used to say to me, you're so vain. You're like, you know, I saw some woman said to me, well, you're over over 30. If you got a six pack, you're self obsessed. I'm like, well, I'm over 40 and six pack, and I'm not self obsessed. I just want to look good. Like God gave me this gift to look good. And I want to look good. And I want people look, look at me and go, holy fuck. It's not because I'm shallow and egotistical because there's so many dimensions to my personality.

The Dad Coach (49:03.461)
Mmm. Yeah.

The Dad Coach (49:10.325)
Yeah

The Dad Coach (49:16.533)
Yeah. And how much does that improve your life? Just being fit. Yeah.

Daniel (49:17.012)
but there's nothing wrong with wanting, I'm improving my life tenfold. I'm like 50 and I'm a machine because I, like, and I'm proud of it because I work every day on it and obsess about it and obsess about my health and my eating and my training and my, what I put into my mind and my spirituality. That's something to be proud of. And I think like what you said, people are worried about ruffling people's pet feathers, but

The Dad Coach (49:24.875)
100 %

The Dad Coach (49:42.442)
Yeah.

Daniel (49:43.98)
in relationships about what is and what isn't. But the flip the the catastrophic flip side to that is no one's getting what they want. Men are flipping the switch and being abusive women are leaving this divorces all of these things because no one's getting what they want or need.

The Dad Coach (50:00.536)
Did you know more more affairs are initiated by women now than men?

Daniel (50:07.446)
Yeah, I've got I've got a lot of a lot of opinions on that as well. think we should do whole podcast on why men cheat. Let's put that in.

The Dad Coach (50:11.899)
Yeah. Yeah, but it's, it's, yeah, but it's just really interesting that for so long, there's still this thing, right, where as soon as someone says affair, people are like, it's the man, it's the husband that's done it. But no, like more, like more and more women. I can't remember where I this stat, but it's, you know, basically like as more and more women are in the workplace, there's like more opportunity for them to have an affair.

At the end of the day, people have affairs because their needs are not being met at home. So, they just, they're just looking for their need, they're looking for sex, intimacy, connection, support, feeling respected, whatever it is that they're getting from that partner in the affair, they're not getting at home.

Daniel (50:45.536)
Yeah.

Daniel (50:59.596)
Well, can we talk about the evolutionary psychology thing about it as well? Right? Because it's risk. Women are attracted to men that are willing to take risks. You did a post about it. Like you said, like if there's, if there's no intimacy or spice in your relationship, maybe you're not mate, you're not chasing your dreams. You're not out there wanting to conquer and take over the world. Right? Like women are attracted to risky men, because risky men, in evolutionary psychology are more,

ability to the ability to provide and to hunt and take risks to take this forward, right? So these women are attracted to these men that are risk takers.

The Dad Coach (51:30.109)
risk reward, right? Yeah, yeah.

Daniel (51:39.776)
Right. So any man that's having an affair is a risk taker. Right. So I think we need to do a whole podcast on this. So let's go to number three, mate. Like, let's get number three. What's the third takeaway that you can give these men? The first one was obviously hitting the gym feel look good, feel good about yourself. Be strong, look good, feel good. Second one was, speak your truth, have a like a powerful relationship, radical honesty in the relationship. And what's the what's the third one?

The Dad Coach (51:45.385)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (52:01.661)
Radical on his day.

Number three would be take the lead wherever you can in the relationship. It's really funny, I can spot now a couple a mile away who are having trouble. I tell you, the biggest tell is I'll be like, I'll be in a coffee shop.

And like if, if Ash and I go out for coffee, I'll message like classic examples. Like today we grabbed a real quick lunch cause I had gaps between clients and I was like, Hey babe, do want to go grab brekkie at 11? She was like, yep. I was like, awesome. was like, cause I'm at the, the, the BNB at the moment. was like, all right, meet me at the BNB and we're heading to town. She rocks up a drive there. You know, we get there. I walk in, go straight up to the guy table for two, please. He's like, yeah, sit anywhere you want. you know, take a hand. I'll lead her to a table.

And we'll sit, you know, like I said the whole time I'm like leading, I'm like, right, we'll sit here. the way it just comes over, do you want to steal or sparkling? was like, just steal today, please. And then I order a coffee. but it's like, I'm just taking the lead the whole way that Ash doesn't have to think about anything, not because she's stupid or she can't. Like I think that's where the messaging gets. I'm not saying she's incapable of doing those. A hundred percent. Yep.

Daniel (53:22.306)
Well, all the feminists are in uproar because how dare you speak for a woman, but it's like, it's just, it's actually good for her not to have to make 85,000 more decisions for a man.

The Dad Coach (53:31.463)
100%. Yep. She enjoys it. And I'll sit there and we'll get our food and we're eating, you know, and I'll see like a couple and maybe they've got kids and they'll sort of, they'll just be standing around outside the coffee shop. And the guy's kind of stood there and his wife's in front of him. And she's like, she'll talk to, you know, she'll talk to the, the, the wait, waiter or whatever. she'll, she'll lead him to sit down. He kind of follows and you can just see in their language, like his head's down a little bit.

And she's kind of, yeah, she's a bit of a, she looks like a bit anxious and she's kind of looking around and you can almost see sometimes a resentment on her face when she looks at it. And she's crying out for him to take charge and be a leader. I hear from, it surprised me when I started doing this work, it took me by surprise how many women contact me and just say, I really want my man to step up. Like I want him to show more leadership.

Daniel (54:01.004)
He's a broken man.

The Dad Coach (54:28.196)
Take charge so that would be it that would be number three is like where in your life can you take the lead can you show that and it might be as simple as. On Saturday morning wake up and be like right we're taking the kids to the park today and then we're to go here for lunch and we're going to hit this this afternoon and again she'll probably test you because you haven't been late for a long time so I don't expect that you're just gonna put.

Daniel (54:36.216)
Yeah, I love that.

Daniel (54:50.424)
She's like, she's like this guy's gonna end up being me to do everything and she's gonna be just like, I just like not end up in a disaster. Yeah.

The Dad Coach (54:54.946)
Yeah. So you can't just like go put the captain hat on and sit, sit in the cockpit and start steering the ship. But just like start small in any way you can start showing leadership. And you know, and the gold standard is like book a night away. Don't tell her about it. It's a surprise. Have everything paid for everything taken care of babysitter. You know, just

Daniel (55:08.802)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (55:21.934)
When she gets home from work, be like, baby, you've got an hour. Go pack your bag. Book your swimmers. Book a toothbrush. Book, pack, pack something nice to wear to dinner tonight. I'm taking you out. And she'll be like, where are we going? It's all, it's all sorted. What about the kids? It's all sorted. She'll, she'll, you know, she might even get like a little bit aggressive.

Daniel (55:39.242)
I just like crack cocaine to a woman. It's like.

The Dad Coach (55:43.041)
100 % because you're showing all of those masculine traits like you've taken care of it there's a little bit of mystery and you're taking a risk you know like all those things we've spoken about is all condensed into this like one action so yeah that would be the third one so lift weights, practice radical honesty and then take the lead as often as you can you know show leadership and book a date night book a night away.

At minimum, just be like, I'm taking you out for dinner on Wednesday night. but where, but the kids are all taken care of. So you've just got the, don't even tell her where you're going. Yep.

Daniel (56:21.63)
like ninja level manhood right there just like guaranteed

The Dad Coach (56:27.092)
Because at the end of the day, you know where she likes to eat. Like she's your wife. Do you know what mean? Like if you don't know what your wife's favorite food is by now, we've got other conversations we need to have. Yeah, right. So it's like, if I, you know, if I want to take my wife out for dinner, I know the kind of stuff she's going to want to eat. Right. It's like, I want to go and just have like a burger and wings. I can do that with the boys. Like I don't need to take my wife out for like, you know, like a spicy chicken wings that are going to get everywhere. It's like...

Daniel (56:37.205)
You are headed for a divorce.

The Dad Coach (56:55.057)
Okay, she loves Greek food or she loves Thai or whatever it is. So book that. You know what her favorite restaurant is? Book it, organize it and then surprise her with it. And yeah, like you say, it's like crack for her. She's going to love it. She's going to really resonate with your masculine edge, your decisiveness, your confidence, your leadership. That's the like, you know, small waist, big bum, big flowing hair for a man.

You know, like it's the same energy. So that's what women are attracted to. Yeah.

Daniel (57:25.376)
Yes. Exactly. Exactly. I love that. My there's some epic takeaways. I'm like, I'm just like, so honored and so privileged that you got to share, like an insane amount of motherfucking wisdom to the brothers out there. Like this is so important. It's going to save marriages. How could before we finish up with our last sentence, how can the the born to be Kings and the Kingsman brotherhood

The Dad Coach (57:40.456)
Mmm.

Daniel (57:53.762)
find you, where do they find you? know we'll have some show notes, how can they get in contact with you?

The Dad Coach (57:54.619)
Yeah.

Definitely. So yeah, the best way at the moment is socials. So just we'll put some links up, but yeah, just Aaron McDougall on Facebook and then at the dad coach Oz like Australia, OUS on Instagram, jump on there. I've, you know, I'm always putting out content, trying to educate and help guys with everything we've spoken about today. And look, if you need, yeah, if you need that little bit more sort of one-on-one support, I do have the empowered father program where we go through this like step by step.

And I get my guys, yeah, to get them to that kind of, like you said, ninja level husband, dad, where they're just like booking date nights, sweeping a woman off their feet, having amazing sex, feeling respected at home. And the beautiful thing about that is like when you reconnect with your wife and when she's crazy in love with you and respects you and just, you know, worships you the same way that you worship her, it's a great environment for the kids to be too, because they can just feel that love. They can feel that connection.

Daniel (58:27.648)
Right.

Daniel (58:37.144)
Yeah.

The Dad Coach (58:56.367)
And I think the best thing is you're teaching them what a healthy relationship looks like you know you're showing your daughter how a man should treat a woman and you're showing your son how he needs to treat his woman in the future and it's just a beautiful thing.

Daniel (59:12.854)
Like that's epic. If you've got one final sentence that you want to say to the men before we sign off, what would it be? Just one thing that you want to say to them. So look, I'm straight in the eye. And these guys are having dysfunction.

The Dad Coach (59:23.132)
Yeah, yeah. It's just stop like, stop avoiding your masculine side, like your manly side, like embrace it. It's the best thing for the world. Like it's the best thing you can do for yourself, for your relationship and for your kids. So step into that masculine any way you can. I'm here to help. Dan's here to help. There's loads of resources out there. Do that and just be blown away by some of the results you start getting in your life.

Daniel (59:51.69)
I love it, mate. Well, thank you for being on episode one of born to be Kings, mate. I'm absolutely stoked. And I look forward to the next episode. And I look forward to the next time we get to have a chat in the future and dive deep onto, you know, down deep down the rabbit hole and feel these subjects. So thank you, mate.

The Dad Coach (01:00:08.026)
My honor mate, my absolute pleasure and yeah, looking forward to the next one.

Daniel (01:00:12.076)
All right. Thanks, mate. Bye.