The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene [Detailed Book Summary - Part 1]

Unlock the secrets of human behavior with our deep dive into Robert Greene's "The Laws of Human Nature." Discover how understanding the intricacies of our brains and emotions can lead to more rational decisions and healthier relationships. We'll unveil the reasons behind common human behaviors and biases and offer practical strategies to recognize and counteract them, from confirmation bias to groupthink. This episode promises to equip you with the tools to see through the masks people wear and confront your own darker side, laying the groundwork for a transformative journey toward self-awareness and empathy.

Explore how you can master desire and cultivate far-sightedness to stay focused on long-term goals amidst the distractions of everyday life. Learn the art of stimulating desire through mystery and rivalry while maintaining an elevated perspective to avoid short-sighted decisions. We'll also tackle the power of the shadow, encouraging you to embrace your darker side as an ally. This isn't just about knowing yourself better; it's about using that knowledge to navigate life's challenges with confidence and assertiveness, caring less about external judgments and more about your own opinions.

Finally, we delve into the dynamics of influencing others by understanding their core self-opinions and adjusting your approach to foster positive interactions. By becoming a deep listener and confirming others' self-opinions, you can effectively persuade without triggering defensiveness. We'll also discuss how transforming your attitude can change your circumstances, providing practical tips to shift from negativity to positivity. Join us on this enlightening journey and learn how to harness these insights for a more empowered and empathetic life.

00:02 - Speaker 1
The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene. We're going to be doing a detailed breakdown of this book and by the end of this video, you're going to have a super clear understanding of how you can use the laws of human nature to live a better life and avoid toxic relationships. We are all social creatures and knowing why people do what they do is one of the most important tools you can have. We're going to go over why parts of our brains affect our decision making, how to detach from your emotions, dealing with narcissists, toxic characteristics of people to avoid, how to look behind the mask, that people wear the dark side within us, and a heap more. Let is married to Paul. What Paul doesn't know yet is that Jane has actually been engaging in an affair with her co-worker, john, for the past two months. 

01:03
Here is Mark. Mark likes to give to the poor, but only if he can promote it to his fans on social media and gain more followers. Mary and Kate like to pretend like they are friends, but behind closed doors they gossip and try to sabotage each other. So why do we do what we do? Why do we do what we do? 

01:25
Law 1. The Law of Irrationality Master your emotional self. You like to imagine yourself in control of your fate, consciously planning the course of your life as best you can, but you are largely unaware of how deeply your emotions dominate you. I bet you think that you are in complete control of your life, but are you really? You are, for the most part, completely unaware of how deeply your emotions control your life. The changes in your mood and this disconnect from reality is where bad decisions and negative thoughts originate. Rationality is your ability to counteract these emotional effects on your decision making. 

02:05
The first step on the path to becoming a rational person is accepting that humans are fundamentally irrational creatures. Living organisms for millions of years depended on their instincts to survive. Over time, for some animals, this evolved from an instinct to a feeling of fear. Our brains have evolved to a higher mammalian brain, which is comprised of three parts, the first and oldest being the reptilian part of the brain which automatically controls and regulates the body. This part of the brain is where our instincts derive from. Next is the old mammalian brain, or the limbic brain. Our feelings and emotions are governed here. And finally, on top of that, we have the neocortex, the part of the brain that controls cognition and language. Our rationality resides here, between these two parts of the brain. Let me explain why. Our emotions originate here. In the limbic brain, chemicals are released to arouse our awareness of our surroundings. The problem is when we try to translate these sensations and feelings into words using our neocortex For these two different parts of the brain. The communication and translation taking place between them is often inaccurate and hence leads to our irrationality. 

03:31
Emotions and cognition are not easily translatable. What seems like anger may truly just come from a source of envy, whereas animals feel fear for a short time. We often dwell on our fears, we make them greater than they are, and we can feel long-term anxiety. We are always feeling certain emotions and therefore they are always infecting our thinking. Rational people are aware of this. Being able to mitigate your emotions from your thinking helps you make rational decisions. Being able to mitigate your emotions from your thinking helps you make rational decisions. Irrational people are not even aware that their emotions are playing a role in their thinking, often making rash decisions or exploding with rage over menial discomforts. Don't worry, though. There are ways we can mitigate our inherently irrational minds. 

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Step 1. Recognize and understand your biases. The most common emotion is the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain. This pleasure principle in thinking is the source of all our mental biases. Confirmation bias Going in search of evidence to support your point of view and turning a blind eye to anything that disconfirms your held belief. Finding evidence that confirms what we want to believe is confirmation bias. Counteract this by also playing devil's advocate and finding opposing views. Conviction bias how can this idea be wrong if I can have so much energy to defend it? You may even have doubts about the truth of this belief, but now you have dug a hole where you feel the need to defend the idea and convince yourself that it is true. 

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Appearance bias the halo effect If someone appears to have a positive quality, we tend to attribute other positive qualities to that person without any evidence. Likewise for negative qualities, appearances are misleading when we find other people who think the same way that we do. Isolation and disparity from the group makes us depressed. Groupthink is when people take up ideas solely because they bring us comfort and a sense of belonging to the group. The blame bias Our innate response is to blame others. It is more painful to look in the mirror and admit our mistakes. This is the blame bias Superiority bias we all like to think of ourselves as likable, ethical and rational, but this can't actually be true because if it were true, we would all have world peace, and that just isn't the case. 

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Step two Beware of inflaming factors. Our minds latch onto emotions and we become reactive. Here are some factors which can inflame your irrationality. Trigger points from early childhood. Sudden gains or losses, like winning the lottery or losing everything that you have, and then, on top of that, losing someone that you love in the same month, Rising pressure, under stress, the primitive parts of our brains kick into action. This is why you see soldiers and people trying to get into the special forces put under such high stress situations. This is because it brings out their true character. Inflaming individuals. Certain individuals in your life can trigger your irrational thinking in positive and negative ways. The group effect you can get caught up in the collective emotion when surrounded by others. You can see this on display at religious and political gatherings. 

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Step 3. Strategies to bring out the rational self. Here are some strategies to become a more rational person 1. Understand you are fundamentally irrational and that the emotional being thrives on being ignorant. 2. Examine why you reacted a certain way to a stimulus in your life. 3. Increase your reaction time. Take a step back and remove yourself from a situation. Cool down the emotions and let the rational perspective of the situation arise. Down the emotions and let the rational perspective of the situation arise. 4. Stop trying to change people. Our interactions with others are a major contributor to our emotional chaos. You judge, you see things that you don't like. You want to change people. You get upset, you get frustrated, but it's a losing game. Accept people for what they are and just try to work with what is presented before you. If you want to feel more clarity and calmness in your life, then the first step is to tame your emotions Law 2. The Law of Narcissism. Transform self-love into empathy. 

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We are all narcissists, some deeper on the spectrum than others. Humans are social animals and from the moment we are born, we have a need for attention. People will do almost anything to get attention. This includes crimes, attempted suicides and hoaxes gone wrong. So where do you fall on the narcissistic spectrum? If you are anywhere below, let's say, the middle of the spectrum, you fall into the category of deep narcissism. You are self-righteous, reactive, rageful and seek vengeance. These are the only ways you know how to mask your insecurities. If the conversation isn't centered around you, you may give a distant stare or become impatient until the conversation is again centered around you. You display high levels of self-confidence and you use this to gain attention, but it is mainly just to cover up your incomplete sense of self and to fill up an inner emptiness. For you, the deep narcissist attention is survival. 

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If you are above the midway level on the spectrum, you are a functional narcissist. Most of us fall somewhere here on the spectrum. You like attention if someone gives it to you. However, you are not always seeking attention. If someone gives it to you, however, you are not always seeking attention. You are able to turn your attention outward, listen to others and not be continually chasing attention from others. A healthy narcissist resides here, at the top of the spectrum of self-absorption. At the top of the spectrum lies empathy. This is the complete absorption in others and not yourself. This is the complete absorption in others and not yourself. A healthy narcissist can imagine other people's perspectives. You can build relationships more easily, whereas someone in the deep narcissism range tends to slip deeper over time and is unable to maintain and build strong relationships. 

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There are four main ways to build your empathetic skill set. Having an empathetic skill set, having an empathetic attitude. Don't assume to already understand people. Each new person you meet is like an undiscovered country with new chemistry for you to explore. Visceral empathy. It is hard for humans to figure out others' thoughts, but feelings and mood are much easier to read. Pay attention to the body language and tone of voice of others Analytic Empathy. As Abraham Lincoln once said I don't like that man. I must get to know him better. Don't close yourself off from others that rub you up the wrong way or who you know that you disagree with. The empathetic skill. Becoming more empathetic is a process. In order to understand others better, you need feedback. You can do this by simply asking someone their feelings and thoughts and seeing if you were correct in your assumptions. Empathy is more than anything, a state of mind, a different way of relating to others. 

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Types of Narcissist the Complete Control Narcissist. This type of narcissist in general has more ambition and higher energy levels than of an average deep narcissist, as well as higher levels of insecurities. Control narcissists are hypersensitive to any criticism, but they are good listeners. So you need to be extra careful, because they can mimic empathy well. They do not do anything with the intention of connecting with people, but rather to control and manipulate them. The theoretical narcissists are masters of disguise. They can play many different roles. They will do anything to seem moral and altruistic, and they love reveling in their status as the victim. Everything they do is for others to see and gain attention from the healthy narcissist. Healthy narcissists are excellent mood readers and can pick up on body language and tone of voice cues. A healthy narcissist has high levels of optimism and confidence which they can use to lead a team and boost morale. Law 3. The Law of Role Playing See Through People's Masks. 

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We all wear masks to show ourselves off in the best possible light. Outward-facing pictures on Facebook and Instagram are quite often not the true reality of how someone's life really is. Luckily, our masks have cracks in them that leak out people's true feelings. These leaks can be noticed through non-verbal cues, certain facial expressions, inflection of the voice or tension in the body. Through body language and tone of voice, which is mostly unconscious. We can better read someone's true feelings beneath the mask. People are like the moon they only show you one of their sides. Arte Schopenhauer, if you want to present yourself in the most optimal way and become a master at reading others. 

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Practice these three skills Observational skills. One when you are having a conversation with someone, pay close attention to micro expressions. These are split second expressions, such as forced smiles, changes in the tone of voice or body language, which gives mixed signals. 2. Get to know how someone operates in normal situations or at their baseline. Then compare that to how they operate under conditions of stress or excitement. Of stress or excitement. Three people watch. Take some time to watch how people behave in situations. Take notes and also observe yourself. Remember the cracks in the mask we spoke about earlier, those flashes of micro-expressions. People can try to prevent these cracks from leaking and showing their true feelings, but that would be futile as they are, for the most part, completely unconscious and uncontrollable. In order to see through other people's masks, you need to master the decoding keys. 

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Key one dislike-like cues Pursing of the lips, sudden squinting of the eyes or the glare, a stiffened neck, feet that turn away from you as you engage in conversation, folding of the arms and excess tension in the body are all clues. If someone gives you a compliment or praises you without their eyes lighting up, this could be a clue of hidden envy. Learn to distinguish between a fake and genuine smile. Genuine smiles move the eyes, eyebrows and cheeks upward. Dominance and submission People who feel dominant tend to talk more in conversations and interrupt regularly. It is fairly easy to meet a couple and notice which one is the dominant one in the relationship. The dominant partner may seem to only half listen to their partner in a group conversation and will make eye contact with others in the group, but not their partner. As often, deception cues People who are trying to hide something become more chatty and animated Gestures with the hands and arms can become more exaggerated. If you perceive that someone is trying to deceive you, let them continue to talk as much as they can and, when the time is right, hit them with a pointed question and see what kind of micro-expressions your question creates within them. 

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The art of impression management. In order to perform optimally in social situations, you can do the following Be aware of your non-verbal cues, like body language and tone of voice. Give genuine smiles and use welcoming body language. Make sure you create the right first impression Selectively. Make yourself absent and create an air of mystery. Make your behavior less predictable and project saintly qualities like sincerity and honesty. 

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Law 4. The Law of Compulsive Behavior Determine the Strength of People's Character. Our characters are formed in early childhood and by our daily habits. You can measure the strength of someone's character by how well they handle adversity, their ability to work with others, their patience and their ability to learn. Character is Destiny. Heraclitus the word character comes from ancient Greek and was used for an engraving instrument. Our characters are stamped within us. Spirits and gods do not control us. Our character does. It is impossible to remove your character, but it is possible to lessen or stop negative patterns in your life. You need to first understand your own character and then learn to value character above all else. When choosing a partner to work with or an intimate partner, character should be placed above intelligence, beauty and reputation. 

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Actions repeated over time is the main indicator of someone's character. People with strong character do not give up easily, are persistent and are open to new ideas. People with weak character, on the other hand, are overwhelmed easily, difficult to rely upon, not open to learn from others, because needing to learn from others would imply criticism or shortcomings. The most significant indicator of people's character comes through their actions over time Toxic characters. You need to first identify and then steer clear of people with these toxic characteristics. 

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The hyper-perfectionist Someone who may seem dedicated but is unable to delegate and must control every situation. In other words, a control freak. The relentless rebel someone who hates authority and mistrusts anyone in power. They cannot accept any criticism and are often childish in their behavior. The personalizer someone who is very sensitive and thoughtful. However, that sensitivity only goes one way, which is inward. They take everything personally way, which is inward. They take everything personally. Avoid these people because they will try to make you feel guilty for something you said or did that spurred their sensitivity. 

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The drama magnet Someone whose only way to get attention is by surrounding themselves with drama and problems. They always find a way to become a victim in any given situation. The big talker Someone who is always talking a big game but never actually finishes anything they have started. They will inevitably just waste your time. The sexualizer Someone with an abundance of sexual energy. This usually comes from a dark place and they tend to see every relationship as a possible path to something sexual. 

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The pampered prince or princess Someone who is overindulged and given too much attention by their parents at a young age. If they don't get what they want, they can show baby-like behavior, to an extreme of even throwing tantrums. Baby-like behavior, to an extreme of even throwing tantrums. The moralizer Someone who condemns something but secretly is drawn to that thing. They seem moral but they have a secret dark side Law 5. 

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The Law of Covetousness Become an elusive object of desire. The Law of Covetousness Become an Elusive Object of Desire. We are marked by the continual desire to possess what we do not have, the object projected by our fantasies. It is human nature to desire things we don't have. And once we have finally obtained that desire, we are already distracted in looking for something better. Most often, this is referred to as the grass is always greener syndrome. 

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Nowadays people see vulnerability and being forthright as a path to truth and honesty. Letting people know all your likes, dislikes, fears and loves, and believing that people should just love you and desire you for who you are. In actuality, what people really want is for their fantasies to be stimulated. But if you become too familiar, there is no mystery and no room for imagination. People's interest in you will be paper thin. Do not follow the moralism of the times, which urges honesty at the expense of desirability. 

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Here are three strategies for stimulating desire. One know when and how to withdraw. Be a little cold. Don't be needy and never be too obvious with your opinions, feelings, values and tastes. You want to allow for others to create their own picture of you in their imagination. Know when to withdraw, maybe for a day, maybe for a week. Create some sense of mystery around yourself. Two create rivalries of desire. What we want almost always reflects what others want. The man who has been single for five years gets into a relationship and all of a sudden has two other women interested in him. Or the child who wants his brother's new toy. Creating the impression that you or your work are desired by others will attract others. In negotiation tactics, always have another party that is also interested to create a rivalry. 

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3. Use induction. Associate yourself with something slightly illicit, unconventional or defiant. Almost all people desire voyeurism, which is seeing inside the private lives of others. Give others the impression that you are sharing secrets that shouldn't be known and may create some outrage, but a lot of curiosity. The secrets need to be new and exotic and finally dangle something in front of people that is just out of their reach the offer of a fast path to riches or the fountain of youth. Remember that possession does not compel people to act. Desire does. Focus your attention on looking inward, finding what you truly desire and then following those desires. Don't become distracted by what everyone else is chasing or trying to influence you to follow. Your time in life is limited Law 6. The Law of Shortsightedness Elevate your perspective. 

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Humans are most impressed by what they can see and hear now, in the present. By overemphasizing the present, we lose perspective over our long-term goals. When you are standing at the base of the mountain, you are unable to have much perspective over the bigger picture. As you go higher up the mountain, you can see more clearly. When you reach the top of the mountain, you have a panoramic view that is much clearer than the one that you had when you were standing at the base of the mountain. 

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People who are stuck in the present are the people standing at the base of the mountain. People who are reactive to the present events are most susceptible to manipulation and other alluring get-rich-quick schemes. With an elevated perspective, you will have the patience and clarity to reach almost any objective. Instead of reacting to everything that is in front of you, you need to train your far-sighted perspective or your bigger picture, and you can do this by detaching yourself from the heat of the moment, calming down your emotions of fear or excitement, analyzing all the negative consequences of taking that action, focusing on the long-term goals and asking yourself if taking action is in alignment with that vision. Distancing yourself from the present will allow you to gain a wider perspective and look further into the future. From the present will allow you to gain a wider perspective and look further into the future. You should also avoid prolonged contact with people who are narrow-sighted. These people are like the people standing at the base of the mountain, without any long-term perspective and are in a perpetually reactive mode. 

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There are four signs of short-sightedness that you need to be aware of and overcome. One unintended consequences. Life is complex. You are naive to think that a will lead to b, then b will lead to c. Events and other people with their own motivations will come into contact with your plans and your long-term goals, and and these things are wholly out of your control. However, by first going through all the possible negative consequences of taking an action, you are at least aware of ways in which your plans could deviate. Think deeply, go as far as your mind can go in all permutations or chain reactions of decisions. 

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That new TV that you saw on sale seems like a good bargain in the heat of the moment, but what chain reactions will that purchase cause? After all, now you need to get your money's worth right. So what's that going to mean? One hour a day of Netflix and the news which maybe turns into four hours a day, and you know before you know it, over the span of a month, that is approximately 120 hours in front of a tv. Or if you extrapolate that out over a year, that's 1460 hours, and over the next five years, 7300 hours of your life. Was the TV on sale worth 7,300 hours of your life? Two tactical hell. 

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When you find yourself in arguments on all fronts just to protect your ego or win the argument, you have probably lost sight of your long-term goals and vision. Now would be the time to ask yourself what are my real values and priorities? Then focus your time and energy away from useless arguments and towards your long-term goals. Does winning the argument or protecting your ego help you to achieve those goals? Most probably not. Three ticker tape fever. 

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Nowadays, we all have become addicted to the continuous news cycles and pings and dings of social media. If you are reacting to and following all of these updates to guide your decisions, then you have the fever and you need to refocus your energy towards your long-term vision. Focusing more on your long-term outcomes needs patience, but it will reward you with calmness and clarity. Four lost in trivia. It is easy to drown in a sea of information nowadays, especially when you are actively trying to have all the details. To prevent this feeling of information overload and the perpetual chasing of every minuscule detail, remind yourself that you don't have to have all the details With a solid vision and long-term goals, that you don't have to have all the details. With a solid vision and long-term goals, you can weed out the essentials from the non-essentials and it is wise to delegate and let subordinates do the rest of the information gathering for you. You can steer the ship, but you don't also need to be below the decks manning the oars. Become a farsighted human Detach from the now. Calm your emotions in the decks manning the oars. Become a far-sighted human Detach from the now. Calm your emotions in the present and get yourself to a higher point on the mountain to widen your perspective and see all the future consequences of the decisions that you make now. 

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Law 7. The Law of Defensiveness Soften people's resistance by confirming their self-opinion. Everybody wants to believe that they are independent and in control of their own lives. People all have certain self-opinions and perceptions about who they are and they are willing to fight to defend those opinions. There are three universal qualities to people's self-opinions. One I am autonomous, acting of my own free will, even if we have been manipulated or succumbed to peer pressure. We don't want to tell ourselves that outside influences guided our decision-making. If we feel like we are being coerced, we tend to rebel. Two I am intelligent in my own way. No one feels comfortable with the idea that they may be gullible or have subpar intelligence. Three I am basically good and decent. We all have the tendency to believe we are good people supporting the right causes. By understanding the three universal self-opinions above, you are in a better position to influence them. Never put someone in a situation that would trigger one of their self-opinions. You can use these five strategies to persuade people effectively and avoid triggering their defensiveness. 

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Of the three universal self-opinions 1. Transform yourself into a deep listener. Our attention is often scattered and the reason for this is that people are more interested in their own thoughts and feelings than the person they are communicating, with the usual advice of talking less and listening more is often redundant unless there is some kind of motivation to actually listen. Treat each person you interact with as an uncharted country that is abundant with hidden surprises. Find what interests them. Look for clues in their facial expressions, like when their eyes light up and probe deeper. The more they talk, the more you can discover their desires and insecurities. 2. Infect people with the proper mood. People are very vulnerable to the moods of others. If you are relaxed and warm-hearted, they will feel comfortable. Sense this and mirror your good mood. Gentle taps on the arms can build rapport, but avoid too much eye contact because this can be taken as a sexual connotation. Three confirm their self-opinion using the three universal self-opinions For independence. 

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Appeal to the sense of autonomy. If you need to get their help, don't let them feel like they are being manipulated. Instead, position the favor in a way that makes the favor feel like it was their idea or choice all along. For intelligence, concede that their opinion on the matter is better than yours. This will make them feel slightly superior. Lower their guards and put them in a position where they are more willing to accept your opinions later. For their self-belief of decency and goodness, link your need to a greater cause and remind them of good deeds that they have done in the past. 

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4. Allay their insecurities. Once you have identified someone's insecurities, be careful not to trigger them and then go about giving compliments and flattering them about those qualities emotions, language and stubbornness in a constructive way. Use the language back at them, because it is very hard for people to not follow the words that they have used themselves. Stubbornness stems from uncertainty and fear of change. If they have a rebellious nature, reverse psychology can be used to push them in a direction you want them to go. The royal road to influence is to put the focus on others. Let them do the talking. Let them be the stars of the show. 

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The flexible mind. Just as the body tightens with age, however, so does the mind. When we are children, our minds are very flexible and they learn at a rate much faster than as adults. The ultimate frame of mind is one that is flexible, like a child's and has the reasoning power of an adult. As we age, we become closed off to new ideas. Try to imagine your ideas and opinions like toy building blocks. You can play with them, experiment with them, throw some out, keep some or get new ones. Don't become too attached and rigid to your ideas. Remain playful and flexible in your spirit. Finally, become more self-aware that you are not as good as your self-opinion makes you believe you are. You do buy services or products due to advertising influences. You do conform to ideas because of the groups that you belong to and you are susceptible to being manipulated. Distance yourself from your self-opinion to see how it affects your thinking. 

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Law 8. The Law of Self-Sabotage Change your circumstances by changing your attitude. You must not only be aware of the role of your attitude, but also believe in its supreme power to alter your circumstances. The way that you look at and interpret the world around you is what creates your attitude. If you see the negative in all situations and you are fearful, you will inadvertently create those situations that you fear the most. If you are afraid of failure, you won't try new things, which results ultimately in a failure to succeed in anything. There are two general categories of attitude Negative and narrow, or positive and expansive. Negative and narrow-minded people are generally fearful and, in order to try and have control, they limit what they see and experience. Someone with a positive and expansive attitude, on the other hand, wants to try new things and is open to new ideas. If you want to change your circumstances in life, you first need to change your attitude. Here are five constricted or negative attitudes that you need to conquer. 

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Hostile attitude the world is a hostile place, so, in order to try and defend themselves, people with a hostile attitude seek to become hostile themselves. In their mind, the world is against them. They blame others and tend to make others around them aggressive or defensive. Be aware of this type of attitude and manage your own hostility by telling yourself, when you first meet someone, I like this person or this person is intelligent. If you notice less hostility in the world and in others when you begin doing that, then you may notice that the source of the hostility was actually manifesting from within yourself. 

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Anxious attitude Someone with an anxious attitude ultimately fears losing control of the situation. They like to micromanage and control others. You can deal with your own anxiety by channeling this negative energy into your work and trying to become less of a perfectionist and control freak. If you are dealing with someone with this type of attitude, don't let their attitude infect you. Be calm and become a soothing influence on them. Avoidant attitude Someone with doubts about their intelligence or competence, and who generally see the world through the lens of their insecurities, have this type of attitude. They avoid responsibility or challenges because they may call into action their self-esteem. Be cautious to form partnerships with someone like this. And if you feel that you may have some of this attitude yourself, you can diminish this fear by motivating yourself to take on small projects and make sure that you take them all the way to completion. 

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Depressive attitude. This attitude carries a feeling of unworthiness and being unloved. A person with this type of attitude tends to betray, criticize and wound others to feed their own depression. Any signs of success or progress are self-sabotaged before they can even fully be accomplished. People are attracted to someone with this kind of attitude because they want to help them. However, this usually results in them also being criticized and then discarded. Never try to cheer someone up with this type of attitude by showering them with the wonders of life. Instead, subtly steer them towards positive experiences. We all have depressive moments in our lives. When you find yourself in a depressed state, it is best to channel that energy into your work or the arts. You can pick up a guitar, paint a picture or something like this Resentful attitude. 

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They feel wronged and see oppressors everywhere around them. People who have more than them are a sign of injustice, and any sign of criticism or disrespect towards them is taken very seriously. They do not explode in anger, however. They prefer to stew on their emotions. People with this attitude hold on to grudges and, if given any power, use it to express their resentment in often vengeful and vicious ways. Avoid people with this attitude if at all possible. If you harbor resentful tendencies yourself, learn to let go of grudges. It is better to explode with rage in the moment than to stew on negative emotions that you may have just made up in your head the expansive, positive attitude. 

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Be an idea explorer. Leave certainty behind and play with new ideas. Enjoy challenging yourself with new ways of thinking. Adversity and pain are most often out of your control, but you can learn how to control your response and emotions to any situation. Don't accept and place limits on yourself. As you grow older, if you believe that you can't do something, you will create a self-fulfilling cycle. Your attitude plays a huge role on your health. Falling in love or getting excited about your job gives you more energy and allows you to recover from illnesses faster. Being depressed or stressed, on the other hand, does the reverse. Don't take things that others say or do towards you personally. They are just protecting their own negative feelings. 

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Law 9. The Law of Repression. Confront your dark side. More often than not, people are not who they seem to be. We all have a dark side, the selfish, aggressive impulses within us that we hide from the public view to fit in and feel respected and liked by the group. Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, refers to this as the shadow. The shadow lives within our unconscious mind, but can leak out through our emotions in times of insecurity or stress. Our dark side also tends to reveal itself more as we get older. Here are some notable signs of the dark side Contradictory behavior A person who preaches the rules but then breaks them. 

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Emotional outbursts A person who loses self-control easily. Vehement denial, for example, a person who argues against homosexuality but secretly desires it. Over-idealization A person who uses a good cause to act in a bad manner. Accidental behavior A person who gets drunk and reveals their true emotions. Projection A person who accuses someone else of desiring sex, money or power, when in fact that is what they secretly desire themselves. 

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In order to conceal the shadow, we develop emphatic traits. These traits tend to cover up the opposite trait that we want hidden from the public view. Here are the seven most common emphatic traits the tough guy shows an intimidating side to cover up the soft and vulnerable side they are so afraid of. The saint exudes purity and goodness but, once given a taste of power, quickly abuses that power. The fanatic impresses people with their drive and dedication but fail to deliver on what they promise. The passive-aggressive charmer will be overly nice on initial interactions but gossips behind the backs of others. The rigid rationalist fears irrationality. They use their intellect to bully others that they deem to have primitive or low-level thinking. The snob is so afraid of mediocrity that they exert superiority. The extreme entrepreneur pays exceptional attention to detail and seems to value independence. Their inability to listen and delegate work to others end up becoming their downfall. They secretly want others to take care of them. 

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When you become conscious of the shadow and bring it out into the light, it loses its power. You can then control, channel and integrate it into your life. By doing so, your more attractive, authentic and creative side will come back to life. You can follow these steps to become an integrated human See the shadow, identify and monitor what things make you touchy and insecure? What is causing your shadow to show and what are you trying to hide? Embrace the shadow. 

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Don't repress or ignore your shadow. It is part of your personality. Explore the shadow. Explore your dark impulses and animalistic nature. If your shadow surfaces in dream states or dark thoughts, don't try to ignore it. Play with the ideas and channel that energy into your work. 

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Show the shadow. Use the shadow as your ally if people get in your way. Respect your own opinions more and others less. Be more assertive and compromise less. Care less about what people think of you. And finally, don't be afraid to use the shadow, at times to offend and even hurt people that have bad intentions or unjustly criticize you. Show your shadow proudly. The more you repress the shadow, the darker and uglier it becomes. Thank you for making it to the end of the video. Let me know in the comments below which law you found the most helpful and if you guys don't want to miss out on more videos like this one in the future, please hit the like and subscribe button, because it really helps out. Also, this was only nine of the 18 laws in the book, so if you would like me to do the other laws, which would be laws 10 to 18. Please let me know down below so I can get an idea of if these laws were even helpful to you guys or not. So thank you so much. Have a good day.