What would happen if you went ALL IN? - Jo Bendle

Website: www.jobendle.com

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00:02Hello guys, It's Jo Bendle here and today we're going to talk about this concept of going all in. Got a few different ways that I want to talk about it, so let's dive in. 

00:13 Ok, So first question is like what might happen if you went all in and have you ever actually gone all in? So this is the energy of our session today i didn't come this far to only come this far and this is what all in energy is about. Here is what you're going to learn. We're going to get a clear understanding of what it means to go all in. Then we're going to talk about the sneaky ways that you might be paying small or slowing yourself down or getting your own way without realizing. 

00:43 You're going to get clarity on what's to go all in on. Hopefully some fresh excitement around your goals and and motivation you'll kick up the bum because that is what I do. So what sparked this whole kind of concept is every time I feel on fire, completely alive, it's when I decide to go all in it's when I backed myself, it's when I put my energy behind something that I care about. My business in the last or six months is a really great example i started talking about this whole concept around bold and I've got a program called Bold and like you wouldn't believe the difference in the energy because I was really pride and behind it and the people then that were joining you were like, I won't be Boulder and say when you're all in on something, it changes things oK, it absolutely changes things now most of us have never really gone all in and we hold back so we can say, well, you know, I I didn't give it my all and that is a crazy way to approach your dreams. 

01:38 So quick introduction for me, I am Joe I am I'm also a business Energizer, which is what my clients call me because that's what happens. I started my business in 2012 I'm a coach and mentor to ambitious people who crave more from life. So I'm the creator of men for more, which is a movement and a methodology. I'm addicted to freedom and travel started what which is why I started my business, but a lot and quite a few years been location independent. Now I live in Spain. I'm an avoider of mediocre and average, like a lot of us, full of myself there and I think it's really important to know that because I talk about that a lot in my business it doesn't mean that we can't achieve what we want to achieve and we've got downs. 

02:19 And I'm also just a girl going after her dreams, figuring out along the way and sharing what she learns, which is exactly what this is about like I this, this whole training today is for me as much as you and my values are authenticity, connection and freedom. This is how I'm really built my business around my values it's a really important strategy. Now I motivated me it's just me without a clear focus, right? And that's a choice, guys that is a choice. 

02:43 And I don't I refuse to let myself kind of Fred along i remember I don't like average i don't want to be mediocre i don't want to plot. And so I'm only, I will only do that if I don't have a clear focus or it's my choice it's my decision it's my job to give me a clear focus. Most people do not dare to go all in because they don't want to feel disappointed if it doesn't work out or they fall short. But here's what I found out like you change your life by deciding to go for it. 

03:11 Is it relevant of what you achieve, You know, because of it. It's the decision that you make is what changes everything and what it really comes down to and like, you know, for us business owners here, it's like the quickest way to figure out if some how to get somewhere is to try different concepts. You go all in on something so if there's a particular thing you pick a particular thing you want in your life or your business, go all in on figuring out how to make that your reality. Try something, collect the data, what worked, what didn't work remember, there's no such thing as failure, only feedback. 

03:43 Get out and try things, be all in like if you want something, you've got to get behind it. Make the decision, get data faster, move on to the next what I call experiment or tweak the current one. Now there is a philosophy meant for more philosophy. I just want to share because I think it's really makes it a lot easier to go all in, right because we're obviously our nervous systems are like, if I fail and it's like, no, meant for more philosophy is like, embrace the experiment if you think about, you know, taking imperfect action, you know, it's better than just waiting for things to be perfect because they're never going to be like embrace the experiment just makes it so much easier i'm like, oh, this is just an experiment i'm going to try and I'm going to learn from it. 

04:19 And it's made it so much easier for me to date, take decision, start that again. It's made it so much easier for me to make decisions and take action. So 5 reasons to go all in. Success doesn't come from let's just see how it goes. If you look back on any of the things that you've done in your life, the things that have been most successful is because you your energy was behind it and you're like, I'm doing this half hearted effort leads to half hearted results in anything oK, you can use a really great example would be exercise, You know, like if you, if you half heartedly showing up for your and maybe it's weight loss, like and you were half heartedly eating and moving, you know, you're not going to get the results. 

05:00 I always kind of joke around that I'm really good at maintenance it's like maintenance isn't the goal so obviously there's a system that there's the twig, there's a kink in the hose, right? So when you're all in, you show up differently your energy, your decisions, your actions, they all get upgraded. You design systems, habits, strategies that make success more likely. And when you fully commit, admit, you stop second guessing and you start taking decisive action, you can remove yourself from the should I or shouldn't I? I do believe that for me, the things that I've gone all in on, the best gift that gave me was decision. 

05:34 Like I am somebody who can just overthink and overthink and not make decisions and I know that's how my mind just likes to keep me right where I am. So when I have something to like get behind, it makes it so much easier for me to make decisions. So I want to share one of my favourite concepts with you, which is you are the problem and you're all they also the solution so like when I first heard this, I actually found it really empowering because I know I already knew I was the problem i was like, if any, what's the reason you don't have what you want me. 

06:03 I'm the thing that's stopping me i'm the one that's getting in my way i don't think I'm good enough, right? And then I was like, yeah, but I'm the solution i don't need another course, another qualification or anything i can be the solution, but how and then I went on this journey of like figuring out how to become the solution. So let's just kind of talk about looking at different ways that we might be being the problem right now so if you think, see if you recognise any of these. And this is, again, it's like the first part of change is self-awareness So like really just being able to let oK, yeah, you know, I put my hand up there are a few there that I do. 

06:35 And now I understand why I'm doing it i've got a choice i can choose differently so perfectionism, you know, it's not ready yet. We never put it out to the world. Procrastination, you know, I'll start next week. But of course we don't. A bright shiny object this is a really good one for all of us, isn't it like, oh, maybe I should try this new thing instead yeah, of course. Because your brain is like, if she sticks on this one thing and does it, like, that's going to be different she's going to be different she might not fit in. 

06:59 What if people don't like, oh, my goodness, right? Jumping from an idea to idea is a way that we play small, right? And also, of course, most entrepreneurs and business owners have got a lot of ideas and we're really great at starting things but maybe we don't want to follow through with the keeping it going and like, this is the point it's like we're having to learn all in is going to teach you to become a different version of you it hasn't learned different skills to stay on something right and that is that is how you change life because once you learn that skill, you can use it in any goal or any area of your life. 

07:32 Fear of visibility, fear of judgement, You know what people going to think well, I just had to learn i gave myself this mantra of like, I've got to be OK with people being wrong about me it's OK, Imposter syndrome, comparisonitis, You know, I'm not good enough or, you know, there's so much further ahead than maybe we talk, we talk ourselves out of doing the thing, unable to make decisions this was the one for me, like, oh, you, I finally found or made peace with myself around like you can't make a wrong decision, but not choosing is a decision and that became a decision i was like, I'm not I'm not comfortable with that anymore oK. 

08:05 And you know, if you know, you're members of all, you've got to make something like you. This is this is the thing that gets me excited is this concept is about we're going to have to really look at who we're being, you know, having lots of ideas we talked about that like just don't know which to focus on yet, you know, like then we never have to commit to the one thing and that keeps us, we're playing in this lovely little pool of average, you know, doing OK, but no, we're not here for that anymore. 

08:27 Confused, lacking clarity, overthinking another one for me that was really good at no, you can't wait for to figure things out clarity comes from action. You can't think your way into clarity so we take the action, we learn, we course correct, but action is the best gift that you can give yourself, which is why having something so all in on will be so much easier for you because it will you have it'll be so much easier to make decisions you'll know what your next move is so that's all you need to know. 

08:53 So how, how else does it look like being a problem well, we focus on doing instead of being. Now I just want to say to you by that I'm very, very practical person like I the first couple of years in my meetings, I was a productivity coach. And so I am all about being really practical but there is a side of it doesn't matter how much you do because if you're not being the version of you that you need to be with the right habits, the right thoughts, the right beliefs and the right discipline, you know, when you're doing, you end up taking a lot of passive action and that doesn't change anything. 

09:23 We do we all take a lot of passive action, me still included, right? The stuff that doesn't actually do anything so how many of you are like, I'm just going to update my website that's my goal for the month, going to update my website. No, guys, that is that is a safe task that's the way that your brain is going. Don't let her get outside the comfort zone we don't like change, so we want to start getting curious about what could be slowing you down or holding you back if you think about any of those, are there any other ways that you might do it? And then we're going to have some, some compassion here. 

09:51 This is self protection. Our brains really want to look after us they have been, they, they really do believe that they are doing the right thing. So I really like to call these growing pains then you might want to call it ascension or expansion like this is what's happening we are not sitting still stagnating. You know, this is like we're growing pains are there to be celebrated and I always have a big smile on my face when my clients come on and I can see that they're struggling you know, I've got this big smile on my face i'm like, this is a growing pain. 

10:18 This is to be celebrated it means that you're you're on track. Weird, I know, but so Einstein theory is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And so that's why I'm really inviting you to think about, OK, if I've never really gone all in, that's, that is a strategy that I could try i mean, you could, you know, like you could give it a go and see what happens. You know, you're going to need to manage your mind and that is a good thing because that will be a skill that you will use everywhere in in other areas of your life. Now, I do recommend this, this journal prompt it is a little bit uncomfortable, but also we're here for it, aren't we we want to know what's going on so that we can make different choices. 

10:54 So what am I tolerating? What am I currently tolerating if you think about different areas of your life, look at all the areas of life that are important to you. Your health, your career, your, your, your wealth, your relationships, your family, you know, like all these, your home environment, all these things like look at them like what am I tolerating? What would a 10 out of 10 look like in that area? Start really thinking about this because this will help you decide like where do I need to go all in right now and then if someone followed you around this is really confronting i had used this in my coaching community a couple of weeks ago and everyone was like you know, if someone followed you around for the last two weeks, would they know what your goals were so if they sat and watched you, what you prioritized, where you spent your time, where you spent your energy, what you spent your time doing, would they know what you are working towards? And again is I have a smile on my face because I'm in it with us. 

11:50 I'm in it with you all i'm like, maybe you know. So I'm like, OK, there's some, there's room for improvement. So what does it mean to raise your standards so if you think about all these areas and you're like, what am I tolerating? Has raised our standards like being all in is like, I, I want more for myself. So raising standards about deciding that you're going to be more, you're going to do more, you're going to impact more it's one of it's a really, really fulfilling strategy actually isn't the matter. 

12:15 You know, this is this is. Yeah, it's exciting. So we've established that you are potentially the problem you say the majority of us will be able to put our hand up to something there around. Oh yeah, you know, I definitely am guilty of that. So we're the problem and we are also at the solution, which is absolutely fantastic news. I've really worked hard on working on how to be the solution and I'm going to just give you a few strategies today that I really hope that, you know, pretty juicy to get you thinking. 

12:41 So identity shifting is a really effective way to achieve your goals because you are who you decide you are. You are who you decide you are and you might have decided that you're like somebody who, yeah, oh, I'm not a writer or I'm not somebody who does this or I, I'm not a morning person all these absolute things that you've decided about yourself that don't have to be true. You are who you decide you are. So you can decide that I'm the type of person who goes all in on what matters to me because identity actually is a choice. 

13:13 And one of the things that I realise or I notice is that when people say to me, Ah, Joe, you know, you're it's amazing you're something that really takes a lot of action i do not think that about myself. But when people tell me that I'm like, oh, that's somebody who takes action do you think that I take action that week? Sure, I do and I see you can use these things to really look at like, how do other people see me? What if I saw myself as that person? What would I do differently? Because you know, who you think you are is just something that you decided and you can decide to just be something different you can decide to be someone who goes all in and tests that strategy. 

13:47 So this shift is going to be decide who you are. This is this is 1 strategy being the being the solution. So instead of just focusing on what you need to do, you know, ask yourself, like who's the version of me that's already all in? What is she all in on? How do they think how do they act how do they show up? What would they be doing right now what would they be focusing on today what would their morning routine look like? Where would going all in have the biggest impact right now so I really want you to think about the ripple effect like for me, that's why I get so excited about this concept because it doesn't have to be big. 

14:25 You could pick one small area of your life really up level it could just be your evening routine, right? And then you if you really up levelled that your sleep would be better, which means the morning would be better that would impact everything else. Where could you be all in if it, you know, if you went all in on your workouts, would that impact your energy, which would impact your business? What if you went all in on your newsletter strategy and you really sort of showed up for your beautiful community, created all these connections and relationships and it really changed your business if you let it. What if you you go all in on one of the strategies that you've learned at this summit and you're really, you didn't implement three of them and not finish any of them? You know what might happen if you gave one thing a real chance? And what if I picked a goal and I went all in until I achieved it and I didn't stop because it was hard. 

15:17 And if it's not easy to do, you know, I mean it all. I feel like high fining us for being on this journey. So if you want to transform your life, for me I really think it's like give yourself something to aim for and then go for it like go all in. Every time I have something to aim for that's meaningful to me it can't be a goal that you saw somebody else say on the Internet, I want to make this much money. 

15:37 You're not going to show up for that something that means something to you and then get behind it and go all in. Because if your goal is too small, you're going to procrastinate. If your goal isn't exciting or meaningful, you will definitely lose momentum. And if it isn't clear, then you won't take action. So I will give you an example of me because I think sometimes useful to hear how other people are using the strategy so for me at the moment, I have this whole concept called a bold goal. So I want everyone in my world to create a bold goal because it's changing things for me in such a way. 

16:06 Now, bold doesn't have to mean big, right but what it means is I have to show up differently it's demanding me to really look at, you know, like how who I'm being basically. So my current bowl goal is I'm going to help 100 people achieve, work towards and achieve their next bowl goal. And it's like, this is my board right here there's 30 people at the moment. 

16:28 Now I have to make it about helping other people it couldn't be like, I want 100 people in a program i want to make this much money. It has to be like, I want to help 100 people i tried a few different ones, but for me, when I think about my values, I really love connecting people and helping them. So that just felt more activating. And I'm giving you this as an example oK, so the workshop, this workshop is actually all of these i'm talking about it now because that's part of my strategy is that I want people identifying their next bold goal because that's part of the bigger mission. 

16:55 Because obviously, like my current bold goal is part of a bigger mission. So my thoughts on bold goals, the case is enticing or exciting for you. A bold goal is not just something that you feel you should do. It's aligned with your bigger vision, right? I think of it as a stepping stone it's going to head me it's taking me on the right journey in the right direction it requires that you're bold and it requires courage. 

17:18 So most people set a goal because they want to achieve the goal, but that is not really the point a bold goal is not about achieving, it's not about ticking it off, Although I am really and today I need to keep going and so I get to 100 And this is about looking at everything, looking about your values, all of the stuff, and living more purposefully. So your bold goal should excite you. It should feel a little stretchy, but it has to be meaningful. 

17:39 And it doesn't have to be big, right? It doesn't have to be big i've done things that are just 30 day goals. This is a bigger one for me i mean, it's not, you know, it's not an impossible goal i've got 30 people in there i want to get 100 but it means that the strategy to get to 30, which was really my current audience, isn't going to work to get the next 70 so I'm going to have to like get in front of more people, which is this is a great example of one of the one of the experiments that I'm trying is like telling more people about the concept. 

18:07 I have to try different things i'm going to, I have to grow my business in a different way that is the purpose of a bold goal is getting me to think differently because if we go back to that Einstein theory, you can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. So there's always going to be too much to do there's not not enough time to do it and you're all and you're never going to feel completely ready. Don't let that stop you. So I want you to ask yourself, now take a minute, if he grounded, if I had to choose something to go all in on, what would it be? And I am going to presume that something has popped in your head you already know what it is because most of us do. 

18:45 It's time and it's time. A couple of examples if you want some you know, for some of you it might be like launching the business that you keep talking about whoever it could be writing the book that you've always wanted to write. It could be hitting a significant savings goal that's going to give you more choices it could be moving house, could be having a second home, holiday home. It could be about weight loss. There's loads of different ways of approaching it and there's no right or wrong way is that you pick 1 you get into my mind doesn't mean you can't change your mind. Last year I set the goal to move my body every single day. 

19:18 And what the point is, is that the the mental skill that I had to learn and now what I'm using in my hundred people goal like and now I'm using the strategy in my business because I built that muscle last year. So is your all in goal decided? So maybe you're like, yeah, I know what it is now oK, can't avoid it anymore. So now what so many strategy might, again, people are going to won't set the goal because they don't know how they're going to achieve it. I don't know how I'm going to get to 100 people doesn't matter i'm going to figure that out with my experiments. So you don't know what action is going to weigh i don't know which action is going to work yet i'm trying different things. 

19:56 So the how only really becomes clear once you've arrived you look back and you're like, oh, that's how I did it. So you're going to pick some strategies you're going to try them. You know, you're going to the ones that you weren't, you're going to keep doing the ones that don't you're going to review, you're going to try something different, you're going to tweak so it's about saying, what is my first experiment going to be picking what i'm going to go all in on this. 

20:14 What's the next experiment? And the best strategy is to become the type of person who shows up for it. So this is Benjamin Hardy's quote if you genuinely care about the goals, you're going to focus on the system and I really want to. Have put with this because it it, as I said, I'm very practical and I want to make sure that I've fired you up and got you excited, but also to give you some really practical steps to be like this is this is how I do it. So again, this is some atomic habits by James clear. He really talks about focusing on the system, not the goal. We need the goal we've got to have something to aim for that helps, really helps us make decisions and it makes us decide what we can say no to and we don't we don't want to focus on the the result of how to achieve it we want to focus on the system to get you there. 

20:57 Goals don't create success on their own it's a system that determines the result that you get. What is a system it's a collection of daily habits which enable your goals to be achieved now we don't rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems to the bold Goal on its own is not going to be enough. And you're going to arrive inevitably to the results that your habits are driving you towards. And that is why it's so powerful. So the first system that I'm going to like gift you and recommend that you do it because it's had such a massive impact on my business and my life. 

21:27 And it's what I call my secret weapon is this weekly review planning system. So every single week, ideally at the same time make it a beautiful ritual. I have this date with myself i bring sort of like my future self with me. And you know, as I say, it's like my secret weapon it's a five step process that I go through. I'm sharing like a 3 minute video and a workbook to teach you it. It doesn't take long to learn and you can you can grab it here it's like Joe bendel dot com forward slash what's hot as in like the What's Hot Summit and what's hot and you'll be able to grab that and that is the first system so I want you to think about what it what am I going on and on and this is the system like for now, for the next week, for the next month, show up for this weekly habit and tell me what happens i'm guarantee it's going to be different it's everyone that implements this is messaging me like, Joe, this has been great. 

22:18 Yeah and you're all in vibe the whole thing that we want to wrap this up was like, I'm far too smart to be the only thing standing in my way i'm no longer the problem. I'm going to need a solution. And then if you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you I came to live out loud. That's what all in is all about and that's what the energy is about it doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be crazy. It can be like, I'm going to level up my evening routine. So what is next guys i wanted to I want you to decide what to be all in on. 

22:46 And then you're going to create your system, that collection of habits that you're going to use to get there. You can implement that new weekly system, my secret weapon and keep refining you're going to do it for your future self and I'm really invite you to reach out, connect with me somewhere and let me know if this landed what you're going to go all in on, how you're finding a secret weapon and if you've got any questions but it is time to go all in i hope that has been useful i can really hope that has sparked some things in you. 

23:13 Don't forget to grab your gifts https://jobendle.com/ what's next? And yeah, I wish you all of the success.