Rebuilding Capacity for Neurodivergent Founders - Paula Liub

Website: https://paula-mindfulness.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paula.mindfulness/

Linkedin :https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-liub/

 00:01 Hello and welcome to rebuilding capacity for neurodivergent Founders. This is going to be a short video about how you don't really need to work harder you don't need to hustle more you don't need to push harder in order to achieve more you really only need to take care of yourself better and rebuild your capacity as a neurodivergent person. So let's dive right in. So who it is for and why? This is for people who are autistic, ADHDOCD highly sensitive, PTSD, any kind of neurodivergent no diagnosis is necessary. And of course most people here are some sort of visionary leader, business owner, builder.  

00:47 So hello, and this is for the person who probably has done the work, done the mindset, try the meditation apps, maybe try the therapy and you still find yourself on the edge of burnout. And you are a person who does great work, who is talented, who is kind, who does amazing work in the world and you want to grow your impact without overriding your body, abandoning your needs, burning out, crushing and burning every time so if that's you, hello.  

01:20 And you are probably craving more spaciousness, sustainability, more support, but you also know that it has to honor your unique brain right we don't want to try and push ourselves in the neurotypical norms we need to work in a way that works with our brain that honors our unique neurotype and you are ready to rebuild your capacity in a way that is nourishing and not depleting you. So make sure to also get the PDF guide that accompanies this presentation because it's gonna go deeper or more detailed into some of the topics that we are going to cover.  

02:05 Ok so now who am I and why I am talking about this? So hello my name is Paula. I have a background in psychology and yoga. I also have a variety of certifications in an LP, breath, worked at a healing and others mental health and Wellness is my special interest for over 20 years and I've been doing this for over 20 years in a variety of ways, studying, teaching, helping, supporting, guiding, counseling etcetera and I have myself gone through multiple burnouts as a late diagnosed autistic ADHDR. So I've been there many times and I'm also sometimes called neuro divergent burnout specialist because this is what I do most of the time i help neuro divergent people to prevent or overcome burnout by combining mindfulness or science backed methods.  

03:06 Ok, so that's very quickly about me now let's move on to our topic. So this is how it actually often happens, especially for neurodivergent people. First, we are excited about an idea we get an idea, we really want to do it. And then we give it our all. And we skip personal needs. We might skip food, we might reduce sleep we might not take breaks, not take rest.   03:35 And then unavoidably what happens is, is your crash and burn and then you have to rest and recover. And then you swear you're not going to do that to yourself again but when you're excited about a new idea again or a new way of doing things or, or even want to kind of do the same thing again, but you try to do it in a better way, you quite often end up in a very similar cycle, OK. And obviously it doesn't work because you know, trying to go for that or push through is harmful for your nervous system.  

04:13 You fry your nervous system that affects your health, cause a lot of diseases a lot of illnesses are turned on by stress and by nervous system response. So yes, you might actually feel like some of your chronic health issues are.  

04:37 You might feel like some of your chronic health issues flare up you might start getting digestive issue, skin issues, other issues. It affects your health. Then it affects also your relationships, maybe friendships, maybe marriage, maybe time with your kids, time with your friends. And it also affects your business because you can't work consistently, you can't continue serving your clients you can't continue running your launches if you are exhausted or you know, when you try to do, it doesn't go that well because you can't really be present there.  

05:17 And this often happens because neurodivergent people, we often don't do health measures, right we either go all in or or don't do it at all. And it, it's kind of is hard for us to try to optimize it or to self care in the right way and, and this is kind of some of the reasons why it keeps happening. And it's very important to to talk about the cost of repetitive burnout. And because you know, when you run a business, you really need to know the cost how, how much a certain problem is costing you.  

05:51 So then you know how much to allocate to its solution, either time, resources, money, attention, my mind, space and other things so you need to make sure what to, to know what's costing you, how to solve it and if it's also worth solving because for some people it might be a minor issue, not not even worth.  

06:14 Devoting time for it, right. So one of the costs is when you when you are fatigued, when you are tired, you are losing out on family time, on friends, on hobbies, on health. And I would like you actually to write down in this part of the presentation, write down what it is costing you if you are often crashing and burning, if you are on the verge of burning, what it is costing you in terms of family time, hobbies, health, what what are you losing out on? It also affects your mental health so it might, you might feel so doubt, you might start going into comparison mode it affects your mood, it affects your joy, right so it might drive you to the brink of depression, anxiety or or exacerbate other conditions you have.  

07:10 So again, write down what it is costing you in terms of mental health. And of course, unavoidably, what is it costing you in lost income if you are crushing and burning often, if you don't have enough energy to run your business as you wish to to run, then of course you're gonna lose income, you're gonna lose revenue. And so you also need to validate how much you are losing or how much you could be making if you weren't in in the state so again, write down for one, for two, and for free what, what are you losing out on and what is this costing you? And once you know what it's costing you, then you know how much you can allocate to solve it, how much money, time, resources, attention, mind space, etcetera.  

08:06 Ok and I know some things are quite hard to evaluate exactly so, you know, you just need to, to make an estimate, make a guess. But it's very good to have that clarity and to have a bit more of an understanding to, to understand, OK, that this, this is, this is what it's costing me so you know what, what can I do about it or what do I want to do about it? And remember that you are the biggest asset in your business, right? If you are not well, then your your business is not going to be well, right, You're not going to be able to run it well.  

08:39 Yeah so when you are thinking what to invest in into your business, there's lots of things we need to invest when we're in business, but our own well-being and our own stability energy levels is, is one of the top things because if we don't have that, nothing else can can work. Ok, so how we come out of this cycle, it actually there is something we can do in, in each of the phases of the burnout cycle to, to come out of it so here is 3 main things I I recommend.  

09:13 So first, when you are excited about a new idea, it does obviously advise to plan the project, but I also advise to plan self-care so there is a lot of information and resources there, how to plan your business, how to put systems in place, how to make sure you have everything plan so you know what is happening, when is happening, how everything works so I'm sure you already know a lot about that so follow, follow the systems and the strategies that work for you business wise.  

09:45 But also remember, when you plan the project, when you put the systems in place, you also need to not only take into account all the different parts of the system and of the strategy, you also need to put yourself in that plan, right so you need to plan how you're going to self-care for all that you need to make sure you take into account how much time your strategy is taking, how much resources it's taking, how much time you'll have to devote to different things on on different days when you carry out the plan, and to make sure you also have enough time to take care of yourself, to eat, to sleep, to rest, etcetera and I always recommend as well to, to go back to look at your previous launches or projects to see what, what time it has taken you so that you have a more real view, so you can really estimate in a more realistic way because we tend to evaluate things in a more optimistic way.  

10:52 And things tend to take a bit longer than we actually think they they do. And also unexpected things always happen so I recommend to always have a buffer, a bit of a padding in case things take longer, in case things go wrong, because you know, quite often they do in one way or another, in smaller ways or bigger ways. And you don't want that to happen And to eat into your sleep, into your eating into yourself care, into your Wellness. You have to make sure you have that buffer planned into your strategy, into your project. Ok, so really plan it well and I also recommend. This is what I do personally before my launches i plan.  

11:40 I book a massage, I plan a lunch with friends i plan a few things that I cannot move or I cannot cancel so that I am forced to actually take breaks and I am forced to take care of myself and I'm forced to do something fun. And actually that really helps me to work on the project as well because when I take that break, I come back to it with a fresh eyes, with more energy, with more inspiration, and I can actually do and achieve more than I would have if I didn't take care of myself well, OK, so you can intervene in that first stage, planning, getting excited about the idea.  

12:19 Then the second stage is when you go and do the plan and try to give it all but give it all after personal needs. Ok, Because there is this confusion when neurotypical people say give it your all, they actually mean after you have slept and eaten and taken a rest, then you can, you know, whatever is left that is giving you all. But neuro diversion people often interpret that giving your all or doing hundred percent % you absolutely have to abandon yourself.  

12:55 Stop sleeping, stop eating and and you know, you're the whole of your energy and your time goes to that thing, but don't, please don't do that oK, I'm sure you already know that this is not the the right way to to go around things so yes, give it your all but once you have taken care of yourself, you know, make sure you also plan like what is non negotiable for you oK so for example, when, when I was doing my last lunch, for me, it was non negotiable that I eat three times a day and it didn't matter what I ate as long as I ate something i, I like to eat healthy i tend to be perfectionist about my food sometimes, but I, I decided that for my lunch doesn't matter, but as as long as I eat three times a day and that really helped me to keep on track and not to judge myself or feel guilty about not eating perfectly well all the time, but at least I, I had nutrition, I had intake that.  

13:52 Gave me energy and, and I also had another boundary that I always would go to sleep at eleven PM and I always would take my weekends off. And I have in a couple of instances broken those promises, but at least I knew that, OK, this is the thing that I actually, this, this is the self-care that I'm trying to do. And this is the self-care that, you know, this is the structure that holds me. And and I'm trying to do this but like couple of times I, I missed on a couple of things, but I knew, OK, like this is just this once i don't know why it's happening and I know why I'm not gonna do the same tomorrow.  

14:30 So yeah, it's just you need to be really honest and self-conscious when when you do that to make sure it's, you know, if you do break something, you know why and how and you make sure you don't do it too often. Ok you need to be honest with yourself and number three is to evaluate and make notes after every project i always make sure I am, you know, collect all my numbers, evaluate how it all went. I'm sure you know that the strategy and the systems you need to have in place to, to look at that data, but also to make notes of where things took longer than expected how to make sure I plan for that next time and also make notes when and why and how I, I skipped on myself here so that again, I can do better next time.  

15:20 Or maybe plan it in a way that that accommodates me better or maybe do something that would compensate better for the things I, I, I lose out on.  

15:33 Yeah so this is the, the, the basic burnout so, so anti burnout cycle. And of course there's gonna be rest and recover as well as evaluation and making notes instead of crash and burn.  

15:47 But hopefully this, this sort of thing trying to do that will help you to take care of yourself better and prevent burnout, prevent crashing and do more and achieve more. And here is a few powerful tweaks I want to mention.  

16:08 I have to say nobody likes them, but they are unavoidable, so I have to mention them i can't in clear conscious leave you without them. So you you already know that that you need to get enough sleep, food, water, movement, move your body and and also get enough rest. You probably already know you need to regulate your nervous system. You probably already know you need to have a try to have a regular routine and stick to it and I have to say, like these things do not have to be a perfect Instagrammy sort of routine, diet, whatever it just needs to be to cover the basics that you just have enough that you are doing at least a little bit of of all the all these little things and and if you manage to do at least the basics of these, you will dramatically decrease your chances of burning out.  

17:04 Ok, I know some of it might be hard, some of it is something that you know already, but this is always the basics this is always the foundation that we always go back to when we talk about burnout prevention, burnout recovery, stress management. These are that the the ABC, the basic things. And if it feels impossible, if you keep failing on them, you are not alone there's nothing wrong with you.  

17:31 This is something that is quite common among among neurodivergent people this is something that was happening to me a lot and I still might sometimes keep on on some of those things. So there's nothing wrong with with that and you're not alone but I just want to note that this is a sign that there are some deeper issues because I'm sure you know, that burnout is a complex phenomenon. It's not as easy as just, you know, taking more rest and eating better and, and you can prevent and overcome that like it can work in some cases, especially for neurotypicals, but for neurodivergent people, it is a bit more complex than that.  

18:10 So if, if that's your, your case, you're not alone. But remember, you know this is the foundation that we do come back to even when we are working on on the deeper issues. And This is why I have the Neuro Divergent Wellness Basics PDF file where you can find those 3 pillars of effective neuro divergent self-care You'll get the clarity, the checklist, the next steps. You will have links to other resources. And so this is a great place to start if you are prone to burnout, if you are stressed a lot, if you want to make sure you take good care of yourself.  

18:51 And if that still feels hard, we can always talk. And I have a few other solutions to help you with that if if you need that deeper help, more support, deeper healing, I am here for you. And so yes, get that PDF guide. And also you can message me on any of the social media if we want to chat a bit more about how I can help you. And yes, that is all for today. Hope it was useful and let's keep in touch.