Episode 32: Creativity & Peer Perception

Explore how peer perception impacts creativity in Episode 32 of the Creative Work Hour podcast. Join Greg and the crew as they share personal stories and insights on being liked or disliked by peers and its effect on creative output.

00:00 - 00:37
Greg: Yep. Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Creative Work Hour podcast. Can you believe this is episode 32 or season 2, episode 2, episode 32? Today is December the 14th, 2024. And if you're unfamiliar with the format I asked a question and then the creative work our crew discusses it and gives their take on that question so without further ado we'll jump straight in and today's question is how does it affect your creativity if you feel liked or disliked by your peers so how does it affect your creativity if you feel liked or disliked

00:37 - 00:46
Greg: by your peers? So how does it affect your creativity if you feel liked or if you feel disliked by your peers? Alessandra, I'll come to you.

00:47 - 01:34
Alessandra: I can start with what when I was in high school I was on a mission to get out of that dinky little town and that crazy little  family and so I was very serious about my music and about choreographing for halftime shows, living in Texas, you know, there's football and then there's church. And so I was very serious about all of this except I really had no social skills and I realized I wasn't much liked. So when it was time to be on my game I would be on my game and as soon as I was

01:34 - 02:12
Alessandra: off the field or off the podium, I would just shrink away, shrink away from everybody because I didn't know what relationships and friendships and things were, and I just never felt liked. I felt favored because I was talented and I worked really hard and I went for it, but I did not feel liked, and it, in my day-to-day life, caused me to just shrink away and become small. I'll leave it right there. I want to hear from other people.

02:12 - 02:17
Greg: Thank you, Alessandra. Dr. Tamika, you're next on my screen. Sure.

02:17 - 02:57
Dr. Timeka: So to be liked or disliked by my peers, I think I use even more creativity to handle that. So if someone doesn't like what I'm saying, I will take it, but I don't allow it to impede or overwhelm me in any way. I take it and I massage it into a way that complements both sides. I think when you have someone that doesn't like, I think it also pushes you into a space of better excellence. Your creativity takes a turn that it wouldn't have turned if you hadn't had that feedback. So I say, I said all

02:57 - 03:02
Dr. Timeka: of that to say I take everything, put it together and make a pretty sandwich.

03:04 - 03:13
Greg: I like that, a pretty sandwich. Can you make a pretty sandwich for me, Dr. Sminker? I like it. Devin, you're next up on my screen. How about yourself?

03:15 - 03:55
Devin: Well, to follow up on what Alessandra said, all of that may have been true, but luckily she was hot, so it all worked out. As for  myself, when I feel unlike by my peers, Sorry, when I feel like by my peers, my creativity flows outward. And I want to express my creativity for the people that I know will receive it and hopefully give me positive feedback. And so it's a different kind. It's sort of more positive and entertaining and hopefully funny. But when those bitches turn on me, my creativity also flows, but in a very negative

03:55 - 04:11
Devin: way. And what I create tends to be of a darker content. It's for me, it's me working out those feelings through my creativity. And it really, it's not something that I may ever share outwardly. So both situations stimulate creativity but in very different ways.

04:13 - 04:16
Greg: Thank you, Devin. Michael, you're next on my screen. How about yourself?

04:18 - 04:55
Michael: There's so many threads here  for me. There's this feeling, the idea of sort of like feeling liked or disliked by others, you know, where That's just a story that I'm making  up internally and versus like, did they like or not the product that  I made? And in that case, I'm fully on with what Dr. Tomica was saying that it's feedback, it's a gift. I take it in, I consider it and it's my choice what I do with it or not, if I integrate it or not or I choose, no, I don't agree with that feedback. I'm

04:55 - 05:27
Michael: going with my vision of the thing and I fully accept that or I take it in and I rework it and I deliver something else. But for me, it's often, it's tough. Like if you feel welcome, does my approach, do I feel that my approach, my way of working, my way of thinking is like welcomed in the space? And I'm thinking of like a work sphere here. I like to sketch little simple diagrams on the screen and I'm often reticent of doing that, scared to do that because no, this is serious here, we do business here.

05:28 - 06:00
Michael: So there's like cultural elements, whether my colleague sort of likes me as a person or enjoys working with me or not, often there's a sort of a fear, there's a reticence there of trying something new. But when I do, whether they like it or not, I mean, Eventually, like we want to deliver something amazing, whether you like me or not, doesn't matter. What are we doing here? What's our vision together? What are we delivering together? I may not like you either, but we're here together. We're on the same boat. We're going to deliver this thing together

06:00 - 06:09
Michael: and let's do the best that we can by harnessing each other's creativity in the best way that we can, whether we like the way the other person works or what they think of us or not.

06:10 - 06:14
Greg: I love that answer. Thank you, Michael. Bobby, you're next up on my screen.

06:16 - 07:00
Bobby B: I, you know, there's  phases kind of like Michael alluded to here. So in my younger years being a first generation from foreign parents. Yeah, I always felt awkward and out of place. And so I created for, you know, the right response from the person, whether it was a teacher or a parent, I wanted to meet their expectations. And then as I got into professional life, my path was very, very different. And I lived with imposter syndrome through a couple of decades. So it was always fake it till you make it. And my God, if they could

07:00 - 07:41
Bobby B: ever see through that, I was dead. I was doomed. It took until my mid to late 30s before I got past that. And that's when I realized to trust myself and to stand behind what I did, and then also make sure that whatever words we were using meant the same things as early as possible. So that surely resolved a lot of downstream conflict as I created. So at this point in life, I stand behind what I do, make sure I communicate well, and if it doesn't work, well, not everything in the world is supposed to.

07:44 - 07:47
Greg: Very true, very true. Hillary,  you're next up  on my screen.

07:50 - 08:58
Hillary: Thank you, Greg. Yeah, so in regards to how, when I perceive my role within the team as a net positive or do I feel like I'm bringing a net negative? And again, is the problem me or is the problem them? Because it could be either. Usually it's them. But there's conceptually what I should do with that energy, but then there's the reality of what happens with that energy. So while say these are direct peers, these are the people I work with continually. And when the perception is that I am not, we'll call it welcome. I work

08:58 - 09:48
Hillary: in a field where I'm the minority of gender, a minority, usually in political views within these environments. And I am used to not being welcomed in at the same level that a male would be. I remember getting a job where they were like, oh the new person would we go to Costco and get the dollar you have to buy everybody the dollar 50 hamburger or the hot dog but we're not gonna make you do that and I didn't understand why I was exempt from that rule and as it is weird like that little thing kind of

09:48 - 10:28
Hillary: made me feel separated out. Because again, oh, I'm the girl, I'm just a draft or blah, blah, blah. And it was just really bizarre in hindsight. That I know they did not mean to exclude me on that, but then when you get into other positions and again like I said like when political views are different and you are not 1 of them, and there's my finger air quotes them, you know they don't include you in a lot of things. And it's hard to be motivated to do your best. You know, and again, this goes into where,

10:28 - 11:09
Hillary: what you should do is let that fuel you to do your best. You know, can you again change that internal dialogue in your head? I prove them wrong kind of thing. But that's what's ideal. Then there's what really happens. You know, the talk that we give ourselves, well, I'm not 1 of them. And then you start thinking of the reasons you're not 1 of them, aside from the obvious things, that it's like, well, I'm not as good as them with work, you know, and I don't have the experience they do, maybe they're right. And I don't

11:09 - 12:09
Hillary: have what it takes to contribute appropriately and net positively, kind of things like that. And I know I am a little too influenced by external influences and Having the emotional IQ to navigate that in the moment. Hindsight is 1 thing, but in the moment, I still struggle with that. So it's definitely the self-talk can drive me down and, you know, become the reality. And with, you know, that how do you, you know, the question is like, how do you deal with that in the moment? And to fuel it to be a positive, but I guess that

12:09 - 12:24
Hillary: is it's own question, but a different subject matter than today's. So that's yeah, what I hope for is it feels me to be awesome, but what really happens is it makes me shriveled.

12:26 - 12:34
Greg: Thank you, Hillary. Great answer. So much golden material in there. Shadows,  you're next up on my screen. How about you?

12:37 - 13:00
Shadows Pub: I think if you feel like that's a positive energy and that's always uplifting. And having been raised by a parent that did more bitching  than phrasing, you developed a bit of a skin that said, well, screw you and what you think, I'm gonna go on living. So I don't know that it makes much difference either way for me.

13:04 - 13:39
Greg: Thank you, Shadows. I've got so many great answers. When everyone was talking, I had like rat-a-tat-tat popcorn style thoughts coming to my head and little men drawing sketches like Michael does, it's my little energy sketches and stuff like that. And for me, I think, you know, if you come from a background of trauma, maybe you have that baseline as I'm not good enough. So you feel like you've got something to prove and maybe that's just to ourselves, but we tell ourselves that. And then there's the fitting in, I can relate to some of that. When I

13:39 - 14:13
Greg: open my mouth here, I have an accent or so I'm told, right? And so what, you know, I know that people think not sounding vain, you know, well, that's really cool. You've got a cool accent instead of me saying, yeah, I do it, whatever. Sometimes what I hear is you're different. You don't sound the same. You're not from around here. You don't belong. And it's like, oh, it starts out with like, you sound different. And then, you know, a dozen of them rapid rapid style And I've just learned about something called RSD, stands for Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

14:13 - 14:51
Greg: dysphoria and apparently it's very common with ADHD and it's just that when we feel rejected, whether it's a true rejection or we just take it that way where there is no rejection but we think that there might be and it can cause a great deal of pain and the response to that slide or perceived slide is very intense. And so that's a fascinating topic which I've been learning about. And when this question came up for today, it made me, you know, look at that more and think about that. And so, yeah, so sometimes we've got something

14:51 - 15:29
Greg: to prove to ourselves and the fight is only with ourselves. I've talked about sounding different when you're heavier, you're different. That might be the barrier. So you're trying to offset that because you've your weight or body dysphoria. It could be your sexual identity, your religion, your race, your colour, your creed, your background, your heritage, any number of things, right? And that all factors in, but very fascinating. Some great perceptions on this today. Alessandra, I'll come back to you before I close us out for your thoughts, your tapping up, your summing up.

15:29 - 15:42
Alessandra: Well, I would just really like to exchange my spot off the bench for Dr. T because she had something come to her. And I'm like, I want to know what she is thinking.

15:44 - 16:40
Dr. Timeka: Oh my. Greg, I heard you mention your speech and how that changes things. And I have experienced that coming from the Midwest, having elders that were from the South that migrated to Illinois. Then I transitioned to New York. So the language, and I would speak and people would look at me like I had literally grown another eye on my cheek, not on my forehead, on my cheek. They would say, what part of the country are you from? Then, I'll give you an example when I presented for dissertation during residency at my college, the COO, the CEO,

16:40 - 17:14
Dr. Timeka: and all of the chairs were standing at the end of the presentation. So I think it just takes your confidence. And I also attended places like Speakeasy that allow you to present. And 1 young lady, this was after all of that, she said, Tamika, whatever you have, use it. And I've taken all of it in a positive light. I don't think I've ever taken it in a negative light, but I took it in an even more positive light, and I've allowed all of it to work for me. So I could appreciate that comment on what

17:14 - 17:15
Dr. Timeka: you said.

17:16 - 17:49
Greg: Thank you, Dr. Timeka. Yeah, working in retail, it certainly changed the way that I would talk because people didn't understand what I was saying. But there's some funny stories as well, which I'll share at a different time. But it's happened again, you've wasted some perfectly good time listening to the Creative Work Hour podcast when you could have been doing something else. In the meantime, what do you think about that? How does it affect your creativity if you feel liked or disliked by your peers? Right, let us know, We'd be interested to hear. Come back again next  week and we will be here. Thank you.