Episode 5 - "Forklore" The Stories We Tell Ourselves About Food

"How Our Relationship with Food Shapes Us: A Deep Dive"

Ever wondered how your childhood experiences with food impact your adult life?

In this episode, Jill and Kim dive into the complex relationship we have with food, exploring how societal norms and personal experiences shape our eating habits. From childhood memories of being forced to eat certain foods to the emotional ties we place on meals, they uncover layers of conditioning that affect our health and well-being.

Key Takeaways:
- The deep connection between intuition and eating habits.
- How societal pressures can train us out of listening to our bodies.
- The broader implications of food-related behaviors on overall health.

Tune in for a thought-provoking discussion that will make you reconsider everything you know about food! Listen now and enjoy.

Jill:  alright. so, yeah, let's, uh, let's play with the topic of food.

Kim:  oh, food. food. food. food. food.

Jill:  food can be really fun, and it can also be a pain. oh,

Kim:  yep. mhmm. so what's your relationship with food, jill?

Jill:  i don't think we have time for that. it's because it's changed so much and

Kim:  yeah.

Jill:  we won't go into all that. more recently, my relationship with food, i would say, is much more conscious. i'm much more aware.

Kim:  i like that. yep.

Jill:  and in a if i could scale it, i'd say on a scale of zero to a hundred in terms of, like, consciousness and awareness, i'd give myself a three. and i'm not being hard on myself. i just really haven't only focused on, say, consciousness or awareness in food. there's always been something else involved with it. oh, i'll follow this program or i'll, oh, i'll only eat this or you know what i mean? like, this time, it's just really open where i'm like, i just wanna be really aware with food for a while and just observe and see see what happens here.

Kim:  that is exactly what our human bodies are supposed to be doing with food. um, but over the years we have, obviously our society teaches us wonderful, beautiful habits, being sarcastic there, and if you didn't catch on, of when we get gatherings together, everybody brings food together and which is a great thing, but we have put so much emphasis on food equals love big time in our world. and it's mainly, i would say a lot of it's in the us culture.

Jill:  um, it's in some other cultures too. i'm pretty sure food needs love in italy, but i'll leave that alone. no disrespect to italians because i love some italian food.

Kim:  mhmm. but we have a big a big crisis we know in the united states with obesity. and it's not all from food. i'm not blaming food on all of this because there's a lot of toxicities in our environment, in the water, in our relationships, all these things that also have to deal with obesity. so i'm not blaming everything on food here at all. but when we're growing up julie,

Jill:  you made this before we go on? yep. and then but i just wanna say too, it's also obesity is, um, quite a deep topic as well, and we're not yes. claiming a a straight correlation either between body shape and food either because there there are supposed to be different body shapes. um, but let's just talk about, like, you know, in the united states, we have actually labeled overweight overweight. and in many other countries in the world, what the united states considers overweight, they consider obese. and in some cases, they actually consider it morbidly obese, which means carrying just too much weight, more than your body shape is bent to. you know? so we're not shaming anyone. we're not judging. we're not nothing. this is this is a big dynamic topic. we're just sticking real simple with the a food.

Kim:  yes.

Jill:  a food play.

Kim:  yep. and i was to be honest, i was one of those people that was hitting the i was already on the obese level. it was almost getting close to what they would call, uh, morbidly obese. and this was just four or five years ago. um, and it was kinda crazy because it it was part of the food. food was part of the issues, but i had other things creating just inflammation in my body. so this is why i'm telling people it's not all food that creates obesity. there's a lot of other toxicities that can cause your body to retain fluids, not release the toxins that keep somebody overweight. um, so i was there. i was definitely obese, um, and i'm i have no problem sharing my story. um, i have no shame in where i was at at all. it is what it was at the time, and i made choices, different choices on what i was at at that time, and here we are today. and i'm down to the phones. yep.

Jill:  yep. and that's why we wanted to talk about food today, specifically, uh, a story that i was sharing with kim shortly before we started this podcast. and, uh, yeah, let's let's go down that path, kim, because that's, to me, is fascinating. um, do you want me to describe it a little bit? yeah. so yeah. i was sharing a memory. i was having this awareness with food that i've had. and i i was just, like, in the kitchen just looking. i'm going, what what what's coming to me today about food? and i flashed back years ago. oh, gosh. i don't know. we'll go back ten, twelve, at least, years ago. and i had an at that time, my niece was around, i don't know, maybe three, four. and she just was not really interested in eating eating food, period. um, she specifically did not like meat. like, i really wondered if this girl was gonna grow up to be a vegetarian. she did not wanna eat meat ever. michelle says really didn't wanna eat. she would play and play and play and play and come in the house. we are at a lake situation, so she'd come in the house, and she'd, you know, check-in. she maybe would want something to drink. a lot of times, lemonade or something like that to drink, um, but food or she'd eat fruit. that she would just do on her own accord, but she never came in and was like, i shouldn't say never. maybe to the end of the day when it was like, okay. but, like, middle of the day, lunch, that kind of stuff, she never came in and was like, i wanna eat. she came in, wanted her juice and some fruit, and back out. and so, anyway, the point of the story really is she would be told by a variety of people, you need to eat. you need to eat lunch. and i remember watching this, kim, because i was just observing this. she's like, kinda hungry. you have to eat. you have to eat. i'm not hungry. you don't have to eat. finally, she ate because she couldn't go back out to play again, which is what she really wanted to do until she ate. and i don't think she was hungry.

Kim:  right?

Jill:  isn't that crazy? no. this isn't a kid who hasn't sometimes the kid is gone and gone and gone, and truly the parent knows no better. like, you have not eaten anything today. sit your butt down. what i just described is not that situation. this kid had eaten in the morning because that was the standard. you get up, you do stuff, you eat breakfast. and she literally just wanted to play and snack a little bit throughout the day and then eat again at night and be done, and probably not eat meat.

Kim:  and that's what her body was intuitively telling her that she needed. but here we are as a society, we're being told you need to eat because if you eat, then you get bigger, you get stronger, you have then enough energy to keep going. um, or it's just become a standard of at that maybe during that time frame, it was, you know, breakfast, lunch, and supper or whatever they called it back then. like, you eat three meals a day and that's what you do and, you know, if you're not doing that, then you're not something's wrong with you.

Jill:  mhmm. oh. and then

Kim:  okay. man, we got a lot of stories. now i'm thinking back to even when you're sitting at the table and you maybe take a little bit of too much food and your parents are like, whatever you take, you must eat. and then all of a sudden you are full and it doesn't matter. you have to eat that. um, so now you eat because you're being told you're getting forced to eat and you don't want to, um, or even when they're putting food, say, like, she didn't like meat. so if i put meat on your plate and say, you have to eat it, if you don't eat it, you can't go anywhere. so when you're sitting there crying and you're pissed off and man. so now you have so now you take those situations. and man, there's so many emotions that are going with this stuff right now. just feeling them, throw my whole entire body. wow. so you don't want to do this. your body's telling you no. intuitively, you're being guided to say, no, my body doesn't need this right now. i am okay. but somebody's saying you have to do this. so it's forcing you against your own intuition. so we're teaching children, or at any age, you're teaching somebody not to follow their intuition, that their intuition is wrong.

Jill:  which is a that's incredible because so often, i throughout my life, i have heard people say i don't, you know, i don't have intuition because i have a very strong intuition. we know about you, kim. yours is off the charts. you trained yourself that. i know.

Kim:  that's what i want people to believe.

Jill:  yeah. exactly. well done. but, you know, i've for so long, i've been like, you have intuition. no. no. i don't. and, you know, i'm just like, ah. it's actually they don't because it has been so trained on them, whether it was food or other topics because that process you just described of, you know, training someone's in training them out of their intuition doesn't only relate to food. so many other ways right. we do this. but but we're talking about food today, so we'll we'll keep it focused there. yep. yeah.

Kim:  um, so you have that happening saying, okay, you can't believe in yourself, you can't trust yourself. so we have beliefs in there, we have intuition in there, we have trust, all these things already in there. and now you're taking a body that is saying no. and, again, now you're forcing something in. so you are it teaches you, um, oh my gosh, to literally be submissive. wow. that's a big word to come out right now. um, submissive to other people in jobs and careers too. like, this is huge. wow. i didn't think we're gonna go down this path with this when i was thinking about

Jill:  i didn't either. i just thought it was a fast, you know yeah. wow. like, when you said submissive to you know? yeah. that is a big word, and i'd say that it's also being, uh, in a way, submissive to life, letting life be this external force that dictates for us. yeah. and so will happen to you.

Kim:  yeah. wow. k. so the other thing with food though, that i'm gonna go down another rabbit hole on, is when you're sitting there and you have these, like, somebody's telling you how to eat, now you're you're frustrated and you're angry and you're just like, i don't want to, but, yeah, you're eating. your body remembers the smells that are going on in that particular time frame. it remembers the food. so you're inadvertently creating an aversion to that food that you're eating. so say it's an apple. apples are good for us. you're eating that apple, and somebody's forcing you to eat that apple. you don't wanna eat that apple, but they're saying you can't you can't do you can't go out and play unless you get this apple, so fine. so you get in there and you're just thinking about outside and you're getting frustrated that you have to eat this damn apple, so you're just scarfing it down super fast. and you're not even in the moment. you're not even processing this apple because your brain is somewhere else. k? so now you're you're you got anger in there. you got the apple in there. you got frustration. you have the the association of not digesting what you're taking in. so think of food as just information. so you're taking in all this apple information, what people are saying to you, what we're even saying to you right now, and your body has no idea how what to do with that because you are not even in the moment at all because now you have anger, frustration, all the all the things with that. so and the smells that are going all around you, you have the environment too. this is huge. this is why people feel so good when they're at a family gathering. everybody's happy. so you feel happy. well, usually yeah.

Jill:  yeah. not everybody.

Kim:  when you're in a gathering that you want to be at.

Jill:  there you go. yeah.

Kim:  yep. and you're in the moment with your food and you take time to actually enjoy it with people, that actually doesn't create inflammation. it's very interesting how this works. but the say this apple, as a child, they're eating us whatever, and then later on in life, every time they go to want to eat healthy, they're eating an apple. they're like, oh, this just doesn't taste good. this just doesn't digest well. like, i can't eat apples. nope. i just can't eat apples. don't tell me to eat apples because even though i know they're healthy for me, i just don't feel good. they make me feel sick.

Jill:  or i hate apples and they don't even go that further. it's like, i just hate apples. why? why is hate apples?

Kim:  yep. and they don't remember the experience that happened when there was a child because they weren't even in that moment. they were thinking about, i wanna go outside and play. but all these emotions got buried and stuffed in their system as they're eating that apple. mhmm. this is where some of the allergies i'm not gonna claim all of them, but there's a lot of allergens, not true allergies. these are, um, imbalances, um, what's another word for it, disruptions in your microbiome and your gut health, um, creates inflammation in your body. it's not a true allergic reaction, um, but there's a definite response in your system when you're eating foods that have a negative energy tied to it from the past. so say you were at a good it was supposed to be a nice family gathering and everybody's getting along. also, just like that, there's a fight. two people start arguing. some people can handle that and they're just like, no big deal. they fight all the time. they those people brush it off. nah, whatever. they're skinny. you look at those people, they're skinny. they're what you call healthy because they just brushed off whatever was going on. where over here saves me, i would be the one that would just feel bloated after that event because i would feel all the emotions that were going on between those two people. and then all the food that i was taking in that day, it just it didn't settle within me because i didn't feel good because of their fighting that happened.

Jill:  and now i'm gonna take it one level further and boy. i didn't i did not think either kim and i saw this go on this deep. i i just wanna say, the skinny person say that you just said who seemed to be able to handle it yeah. perhaps just handled it differently too and just buried it. because i've found a lot of very thin people yeah. now that i look back at actually, like so you, like, i'll just over oversimplify it. you just described, like, kinda over feeling. you felt your stuff and their stuff and held on to all of it in a way, carried it all with you. somehow it had a lingering effect where i've seen, uh, and this is in general in what we're talking about. this is not a truth that applies everywhere in the world. this is just in general to this conversation that i have noticed at times some people who are very, very, very thin are actually on the opposite end of the spectrum. they just shut it all off. they're not feeling any of it. so they're actually not really coping. neither one of you are. one of you carried it with you, and the other one just shut it all down. yep. which is two extreme degrees of life that actually are not really living in a whole healthy vibrant way.

Kim:  nope. nope. you have the person who is just like it's like they're i don't see that argument happening over there. i don't see it at all. i'm just grabbing my food. i'm gonna go over here, and i'm just going to block everybody. and even though they know what's going on, they're just they don't even want to acknowledge they don't even wanna be in the moment either. so that again, they're blocking the experience. they're blocking life. they're not absorbing.

Jill:  life, which oddly, weirdly, wonderfully goes back to that opening story where we're trained out of our intuition. like, we're trained out of our intuition with food and in so many other ways that in that moment that we just described, the the family gathering going bad, you know, we don't even have a a clear connection with our intuition of how we can say what would i say? um, engage that experience?

Kim:  yeah.

Jill:  man, it's not even managed. it's just, what do i need here right now? like, an awareness around it. yep. this you know, i need to excuse myself or who knows? but we just, like, clam up or

Kim:  yep. carry

Jill:  it with us or and i i would venture to say in american culture, like, food is just a huge way, whether it's family gatherings or elsewhere that we can sort out some of our, i'll call it relationship with food. i think a lot of other things in our life start to sort themselves out without a whole lot of additional work or effort or you know? like, food is just a big one. and not only in america and the world, but we'll stick with the united states culture yep. for this chat. yep. trying to tear it down a little bit. right? we'll stick to one country. yeah. wow. so oh, wow. whoo. take a deep breath for that one. yeah.

Kim:  so wow. man. i there's, like, how many things hitting me right now too again. um, the other thing with food, um, is there are a lot of toxins that are getting put into food as we all know. and so there are when our bodies are full of toxins through emotional, physical, or spiritual toxins that are just not moving and flowing, food does get just stuck. it just overwhelms in our system. it doesn't move, um, so we don't digest. so sometimes we do need help. so i want i wanna have everybody understand when you're not living, when you're not, like, digesting information, like, people are talking to you and you're just not hearing it or you can't even be present in the moment with stuff, look at your food. try and go back in time if you can, or you're probably needing help to digest the food because your food and your digestion is a direct reflection as to are you digesting, are you living in life. so there's a there's a huge correlation.

Jill:  no kidding. that's that's amazing. there really is. so you how are you digesting life? and let's, you know, give a real moment of, like, big, big, big compassion to ourselves about this because, again, so many of us were trained out of being in tune with our own intuition, our own instincts, our own ability to digest life. so if you're not digesting life very well, welcome to the modern human experience.

Kim:  yeah.

Jill:  you know, be kind to yourself. like yes. we're all we're all in this, and and there is a way out, if you will. there is. um, one of the ways

Kim:  is retraining. yep. we just have to retrain what the habits or the knowledge that we are given way back in the day when you had no you had no understanding. you were just looking at the people around you to help support you, to help guide you. that's what we're all we all are supporters. we are our guides for each other.

Jill:  that's why we're here. yeah. and and now at at this juncture, i'll throw this out, oh, with food. like, do i wanna be frustrated by this or beat myself up or feel guilty or pick it? you know? angry, hateful, um, or do i wanna be fascinated by this and go, oh, wow. wow. yep. and i that's what i was saying with bringing awareness into what i'm doing nowadays with food. it's really bringing a fascination to it. going, oh, like, fascination includes removing the judgment from it.

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  i mean, i ate a dove bar the other night. i wanted that dove bar. i haven't had a dove bar in a while. that thing's amazing and delicious. and i i found myself with kim. i was gonna eat it, and i was gonna very subtly, i could feel guilt, judgment, all of these messages coming up. right? and i just was like, fascination. oh, yep. and i still ate the dove bar, and i enjoyed it.

Kim:  there you go.

Jill:  even even more because i just it's like i mean, for some reason, i just wanted it in that moment. now i'm not advocating it. i should probably not use the actual brand, but whatever. um, that ice cream bar, uh, i you know, i don't eat one all the time. that's what i tell myself. don't eat one all the time. that was a treat. blah blah blah blah blah. but i'll tell you what, it was way more enjoyable to eat that treat with awareness than hidden judgments and emotions and so on about it.

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  or the poisons that it could do to my body or how it could mess up my digestion?

Kim:  yes. there was, um, so i tend to do a little different types of muscle testing or energetic vibrational, testing with people on foods that they should and should not eat. and the fun thing is is that people always wanna know, like, oh, i should i should really eat carnivore diet or i should be a mediterranean diet or keto diet. like, they're they're all up into these specific diets. k? and as i'm going through, i'm like, no. not supposed to have that one. they're like, wait. but it says it's going to do the x, x, x, x. and i'm like, okay. but how do you really feel about this one? i said, this is what your energy would put off if you eat just this food because now you're denying, um, this piece out of you that you have that you feel fine with. there's no problem with you eating, i don't know, i'm gonna pick on an apple again. k? so there's no problem with you eating an apple. if you wanna do complete carn you wanna do carnivore, well, why would you do carnivore when your body still can absorb and re and utilize an apple to the full potential that you need? why would you stop yourself from listening to your your body's asking for an apple? well, because it says here that i should strictly follow this and this is exactly what's going to happen. so i've had some people, i'm like, okay, this is your choice. i'm just telling you, i've had people follow the carnivore diet to a t and they are still sick. and then okay.

Jill:  you're bringing up so many points that i just could go all over the place with this. i'm just gonna focus and say to you, i don't know your your experience with this, kim, but i have followed specific diets like that that are only eat this. yep. and some of them, i had success with. some of them, i didn't have much success with. there's a few that i did have success with. but i will tell you what, as soon as i stop following them, because they're difficult to follow regularly in life. yep. that almost always, you follow one for a while, and then it goes away. and then guess what happened? everything that was gained, which is actually lost or whatever during that diet time tends to come back. so that's why people will come around too often often more of i what i'm hearing you saying is, you know, you're really asking people to come at it a different direction. like, what's the lifestyle eating that works for you now? yeah. what someone else is telling you to do. so i had a a little while there where i didn't hardly eat any fruit or any of that stuff at all because, you know, it's sugar. it's sugar. don't eat fruit. and i won't eat many other diets and that kind of stuff. and now i'm eating fruit, and i'm just like, good fruits as good fruits so i can get my hands on. and uh, good meaning, you know, organic if i can, fewer pesticides, local, whatever. that's what i mean by good fruits. and, uh, i i i just i can feel my body just, like, overjoyed about fruit. and i was just like, if i would have stayed in those diets or those frames that someone told me or this says that, i wouldn't be giving my body right now what it needs in terms of the lifestyle i need right now.

Kim:  mhmm.

Jill:  and that's what i'm hearing part of what you're saying is people like, that says this. but do you need carnivore diet right now? do you need no fruits? well, i don't know what i need. basically, sometimes we are just kinda reaching for something to i just need something that works.

Kim:  yep. and some people, i will admit, they need a structure because they are they don't know how to listen to their own intuition at this moment, which is fine. so they need a structured format, which is supposed to help them get into a path where it can release decrease some of the inflammation in the body, so then they're regaining their power back. but what i'm finding is people get so drawn to get stuck to one, and they they give all their power up then. and then over time, if they continue on the same one for so long, they they get to the point where their body's now searching. now it's searching out for something more. it wants change. our bodies are meant to adapt. they're meant to go through change. and if there's not change that happening, then there's stuck stagnancy. things get kinda complacent. um, we start building up inflammation in our body over time when we stay with the exact same routine. it's the same with food. if you if you have a job and you go there every single day and you're doing line, say, refractory style work, and it's the same thing over and over every single day, you get to the point where it's just automatic. you're not even thinking, you're not even being there, you're not even being consciously aware. you can literally do that job in your sleep. that's not good. everything becomes stuck in a stagnant. that's the same thing with food. once you get into the same habit, now you're eating the same food for over time and you're like, now, i was doing so well and now i'm getting sick. now i don't feel good. yeah. your body's asking for something different. it's asking for, say, now incorporate some fruit. maybe you need more vegetables, whatever.

Jill:  we're supposed

Kim:  to listen to it. these are all just tools and resources for you to regain your strength and take back your power instead of food controlling you, but what happens is that you start feeling better. so you're like, oh, this works and then you just grab onto it and you're like, nothing else works. and then you start pushing that onto everybody else and you're like, you have to eat carnival. carnivores are the only way to go. it's like, oh, no, that's not true.

Jill:  yeah. i mean, i'll tell you, like, years ago, i did i took keto to the degree for years. this was before keto was, like, all over the place or easily found, say, in the store, keto this, whatever. like, everything keto you did, you made yourself. yep. and, uh, i loved a lot of it because there the actually, the lady whose keto stuff i did, she was not what would be considered strict keto today because she actually did incorporate a lot of vegetables into her keto stuff as well. k? so some people would call that not keto because there's carbs and so on in there. well, i liked the vegetables. but anyway, the point is i did that to the degree of going to thanksgiving meal with, like, keto stuff. yeah. i was bringing and i wasn't telling anyone else that you would, you know, follow me. i was like, try it if you want. this is what i'm doing. like, i just enjoyed it at that time. but then also, i mean, quite honestly, it came for me. it just got to be it was like, holy crap. i just can't keep this up anymore. like, i'll spend my time planning meals and cooking and doing this. and this was literally for one person. and i just got to a point where i was like, i just can't keep up with this. and i and that's because it was time for me to change my food lifestyle. yep. it just was time. now the couple years or i don't know how many years, it was quite a few years that i did it. i loved it, and i enjoyed it, and i felt good. but you know where i've been at now looking back, i'm like, wow. i think i was getting worn out far sooner than i acknowledged.

Kim:  mhmm. and so by the

Jill:  time i was worn out with all the work, the food work, i got really lazy with the next food lifestyle. oh, sure. pretty sure that's what led me into some other challenges that i'll just leave aside for another call. but yep. wow. so that's like that well, i'd like to say, how about if we can make food lifestyles, i've been calling it, like a game, more playful, more enjoyable? is this working for me right now? no big judgment. no. not it's like, is it working for you right now?

Kim:  and i think of that as i've had a couple people take this to another level where they're just like, well, i love sugar.

Jill:  sugar loves me.

Kim:  and they're like, i feel great with sugar. and and they're just like, blah blah blah. and i'm like, woah. woah. woah. woah. woah. woah. k. there is still discernment with food. k? i'm not telling people that they need to follow a specific plan, anything like that, but you need to know your relationship with the food. why are you drawn to sugar so bad? you know, you should be able to have, say, your ice cream bar and be like, okay, i'm good. but if all of a sudden you get to the point where now you're craving it, there is a disbalance going on in your body when you're constantly then craving it over and over and over. that is now an addiction. there is something that your body is gravitating towards it that it's trying to search for. it's trying to fulfill a need, a void. so

Jill:  exactly. exactly. and and and no judgment. you look at that. that's the game you wanna if that's the food lifestyle game you want to engage in in your life, there's no judgment to do it. just understand though, there are consequences to the food lifestyle game we choose to play.

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  in fact, me, i'm pretty i'm pretty pretty, uh, big on taking ownership for our choices. that's kind of an understatement, but i'll leave it at that. so i when someone if some if i knew someone real close to me that was eating sugar all the time and then having, say, issues that i was quite aware of are related to the sugar, like, i hear you saying, kim. like, yep. your body's craving a lot of sugar. you're probably feeding a virus and other things going on in your system if you're eating a lot, a lot of sugar. yep. and and then, you know, there would if that same person would start complaining to me about other things, i just feel like, you know what? i don't wanna hear it. eat sugar all the time. eat sugar. then you need to keep your complaints to yourself. yeah. or and not being mean. just saying, you know, there's consequences to it. food's pretty intensive that way. it's you don't get let off of the hook for what you're putting in that system, whether what you're putting in and digesting. now let's clarify too. we're bringing in physical food that we're digesting. we're digesting life experiences. we're digesting relationship stuff. we're digesting emotions. yep. like and then, oh, goodness. our bodies tell the story of yeah. what we've chosen as our lifestyle game and what we're digesting or not.

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  and then i got you anything. you get people that come to you like, but, kim, i don't wanna eat sugar all the time, but i don't feel well. and i don't know, kim. i'm guessing you probably go, i'm not sure after a while if i'm the person for you to see.

Kim:  oh, absolutely. or we just have to not talk about the food and we end up talking about others. yep. so for a long time, i was very much addicted to sugar. i was that person too. from, oh my gosh, little on, i have i had a bad experience with food from very little. my parents didn't have a lot of money. uh, they did go to the food shelf somewhere little, so they got whatever they can take, and that's just what we got. so there's times where they did a very good job at making sure we had food. so that's not like i was being starved, nothing like that. but it wasn't always the healthiest of food. it was a lot of breads, um, just to get into our system, a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches, things like that. um, and it was always kinda like, you know, well, we don't have a lot. well, just just eat that. like, it's fine. you know? so there was that you could feel that i could feel the intention even though i didn't know this as a child. i felt the tension of the less than lack of mentality, um, the fear of do we have enough food for the next meal? like, i could feel that without my parents saying this type of stuff. so i you know, you you get that kinda, like, unsettling feeling in your stomach, but yet you're like, okay. i i'm hungry. i need to eat. so over time, then, um, my parents, you know, they they got better jobs, things like that. um, and then they started buying pop because they wanted to have pop because now they're working a ton, and during that time frame is, oh, they need to have a pop so they stay awake. they need the caffeine, blah blah blah. um, and then, of course, then we got a pop, and it was just like the crazy addictions to pop, just like holding on our family big time, they ended up locking food, locking stuff in their room. um, because that's all we were looking for was now was the sugar because we were in a less than lack of mentality. so sugar makes you feel good right away. so it fulfills a need, a void, but in reality, it was just creating more of a disbalance in my gut and the microbiome. probably had a ton of bacteria and viruses and parasites, all the all the fun stuff. had no idea. and then fun. but it was like my parents were locking up the, what we call, the fun stuff. they would lock up all, like, the candy, literally, like, an actual lock on a door that we could get into. wow. um, the pop, all that stuff. so when somebody tells you no as a child and, like, you can't have that, what do we wanna do? we wanna break that dough in that door because that must be something good. um, it was just my whole childhood growing up was a lot of times related to food. we'd have, they'd make some really good food at the table, but then there would always be like, um, negative comments at the table and it was always like, you have to eat that. you took the food, you have to eat that. you have to do this. um, it was very, very, very disheartening when i look back now, but that's what we knew. that's why my parents knew what to do. that's how they were raised. they were trying to survive. so i don't blame them for anything that they did with us growing up at all. they did what they needed to do, and i appreciate them because they they tried to keep us healthy in the way that they knew, um, but they didn't know what we know now when it comes to food and their relationship. and they are now in their seventies, and i'm helping them now to understand what the food is doing. so if my mom starts having, um, more brain fog, i say, okay. how was your eating then? she's like, oh, i'm like, you've been eating more breads again? and then she she resorts back to more, um, memories of childhood and those childlike behaviors start coming out of her too. i'm like, mom, you're you're eating this type of food. oh, shoot. i didn't even see it. i didn't even realize i was doing it because it just became like an automatic thing that just happened.

Jill:  yeah. we reach to food for comfort too. and a lot of times when we're looking for comfort, we're very unconscious about it. we do not realize we're reaching for foods that are bringing us back to say childhood stuff or calming childhood stuff. you know, it's that's that's where when i opened this call talking about my relationship now is more awareness with food, and i'm on a scale of zero to a hundred like a three. yep. it's not that it's hard. it's just a brand new lifestyle for me. like, i've never done one thing with food, which is to bring awareness to it. that's it. nothing else. no judgment. no that. no that. just awareness to what i'm doing with it. and i'm just getting started with it, and it's i'm thinking quite possibly it's the most, uh, helpful lifestyle food game i am ever going to engage in my life. and i think i'll just continue engaging that and letting it shift and change as i travel through this life.

Kim:  yep. it's called intuitive eating.

Jill:  mhmm.

Kim:  when you start trusting what your body's asking. so earlier today, i went i had something to eat that i don't typically eat, and it had some bread in it. and, um, i noticed for the next few hours, i was craving sweets just by the little bit of bread that i have. and that was my i was very much consciously aware that i started looking for sweets. i'm smart, but i don't put the sweets in my house because i know i'll probably eat them. so yeah. we don't even buy them. yeah. so i will have some fruits here that crave down that that sweet tooth. but in reality, i have to i stop and i become consciously aware that i am craving sugar, and this is where we just stop and we breathe and say, am i missing something and i'm lacking something? do i feel like i am trying to get a dopamine response? do i feel like i,

Jill:  um, what's the right word?

Kim:  do i feel like i'm lacking something? and then i have to tell myself, no, you are okay. you are okay. you don't need that. that's something that your body is trying to want. it's trying to pull you into a, your past habits. um, and then i just stop and i listen to that and i just feel it within my body. and if i can get calm and i feel calm, i'm good. i know i don't need it. but if there's something that's still a pull, then my body is saying, you do need some sugar because our bodies actually do need sugar. it needs healthy sugar from fruits. so i'm not telling people not to eat sugar. i'm just saying we need to be aware of the sugars that we're taking in.

Jill:  exactly. it's, uh, i like yeah. the the phrase intuitive eating is is a beautiful thing. it really is because the other day in that big training that i did over the weekend that i was telling you about, kim, the other day is that, uh, one of the days the second day is pretty deep. you know, we've done a lot of stuff and there was a break. it's a half an hour break and it's a moment where it's just like, oh, thank goodness there's a half an hour break. because that was what's that was hard is just that there were so many things going on on so many levels in me. and fruit was one of the things to there was some i wouldn't say restrictions, but suggestions because of what the activity we're doing when we came back from the break. the suggestion was to not eat a big meal or whatever. k. so fruit or few other options they gave. i ate some blueberries, and i swear to you, as i ate the blueberries, the sugar and the blueberry and the nutrients was like a dance, an ecstatic dance inside my body.

Kim:  that is amazing.

Jill:  i was just like, i think this may be my best experience on earth ever, eating blueberries. and i knew in that moment that i also my body needed sugar. yep. i just needed sugar, and i was like, okay. and i actually almost had a hard time getting myself to stop, though, because then there was almost this point where i was gonna go into compulsion with it. oh. which is really wild. so that's that's the stuff that you know, how how your intuitive eating plays out in your own life, how your, you know, lifestyle food game, as i've also called it, plays out in your life. that's so personal to you. yep. kim, the questions you were asking about when sugar was coming after you, i was like, that's really fascinating. and the entire time you were telling your story, i could see myself in like, i i was trying to, like, see myself in your shoes. i was like, i would not be asking those questions. they're just i was just like

Kim:  shogar, shogar, shogar, shogar. but i would say years ago, i could not get to that point. i could not get to that point where i can just stop and think about it. so it's a lot of work. it's a lot of mental work. sorry, there's a lot of mental work that plays factor in this. and if your body is stuck, you're not moving forward in life. if you say are in a job that you feel stuck in your job and you're not changing that, your body's gonna have a hard time physically changing the foods or changing the habits or not wanting to crave something because your your body's trying to show you like, hey, you gotta get out. you gotta get out. nothing's gonna else is gonna change.

Jill:  yeah. so i won't i won't endorse any one food thing or another, but i will say, and perhaps you if you feel something that you wanna share, kim, a specific name, go for it. but i do know that some of the more successful food tools in the last, like, five to seven years or so are actually tools. they're not about tracking and counting calories and macros and that kind of stuff. it's literally about associating, oh, when i had this to eat today, now that i look at it, this is what was going on. i don't like my job, and i comfort my or whatever. that's the those are the tools that i've heard people are having the greatest success with. like, what used to be diets is now basically intuitive eating or conscious eating or awareness around how you're eating. and when people are doing that and practicing it and tracking it and learning from it, and then, like, what you were doing came asking questions to their body. what do you need now? they're seeing big shifts, and let's be real here. super real. talk a little bit more about your journey from because we we had a there's an image you did, kim, of this was me. do you remember?

Kim:  oh, yeah. well, it's, like, nice and inflamed. yes. that that so i got to a point in my life where i just felt everything around me felt stuck. i felt like i was doing the right things. so i was starting to do more of this business and, um, um, really opening up myself, putting myself out there in ways that i didn't think i would when it comes to the intuitive side because as a nurse, you you're supposed to shut that down. you're not supposed to be doing healing touch. you're not supposed to be doing all that stuff. so there was all these naysayers in the back, um, and i finally got to a point where it took a challenge at work. and you give me a challenge, and then you put money to it. oh, that that that fuels me right there. something i grew up with. uh, so there was a challenge at work, and it was a weight loss challenge. and that was the push that i needed because that's where i i will put so much value on money. it wasn't that i felt value within myself. and that's the scary part, and that's really sad that i'm saying this out loud, but that was the truth. um, i would put so much more value on the money than i did on myself. so i'm like, oh, there's a big pot of money at the very end. i'm gonna win that. i will show everybody else that i can that i can lose all this weight. so that was my driving force, was actually physical, tangible money. it had nothing to do with, um, putting value within myself. i thought that's what it was. and so i'm like, okay. i'm gonna go home. i clear out my cabinets, and i'm gonna start eating healthy. kid, we know what's healthy. so i'm going through my cabinets, clearing everything out, and i start eating, and i just did not feel good. i was missing something and i couldn't figure it out and i had to tackle my mental peace. my mental brain was so still focused on the past habitual behaviors, what i was trained to think, what i was trained to believe in, that could not change my body to start releasing to want to eat healthy.

Jill:  let me add again to my mental work. when you said when you say you were trained to believe in are you talking about what you were trained to believe in in terms of food?

Kim:  food and money.

Jill:  and money. go

Kim:  ahead. gotcha. yep.

Jill:  yep. gotcha.

Kim:  um, the belief in yourself. also, there's a lot of retraining that i had to do mentally to be able to start to lose the weight. so, i mean, i was doing some walking. um, this was the right right when covid kinda was taken off and didn't know that they're gonna close the gym. so i went and got myself a gym membership because i'm gonna go work hardcore because that's what i did in the past. i would just go bust my butt in the gym. and nope. not later.

Jill:  twenty twenty twenty one. twenty twenty one. twenty twenty one.

Kim:  yep. twenty twenty one. i got my gym membership and also like a month later, they closed down everything. i was like, k. that was gonna be my ticket. so, again, i'm getting forced to look at myself. i didn't know that that's what was happening. and so my husband was gracious, and he wanted me to succeed. and so he's like, let's let's walk every night. so every night, we just do a mile walk and nothing crazy, nothing running. it was just a nice walk, and we had to leave the phones at home, and we had to try to talk. it actually really helped our relationship a lot. um, but there was times where i'm just like, i was in my head or i'd wanna talk about all the the shitty things that happened that day. you know, he was kinda the same way, and then it got to the point where, um, we're just walking, then it get quiet. and then we started hearing everything around him. we started hearing the birds. we started seeing the the beauty that was all around us. we live all in the country. and that was a a big shift because i was finally in the moment. i was walking, but i wasn't in the moment. and i thought about if i was at a gym, i wouldn't have been really in the moment. i would just been doing, forcing myself to do something. the other piece was i had to do the mental work. so part of it was just being in the moment. and then, um, i used my roxyva light therapy to really help, um, retrain, repattern the brainwaves, um, releasing those old stuck belief systems. so then i can choose a new belief system. i had the i was creating the power within to make more conscious choices versus getting pulled back into the past and the old habits. started doing that a couple times a week. that was almost immediate food cravings gone. it was insane. i didn't know that machine could really do that. it took away my food cravings because i started feeling like i am back to me. i felt like, okay, i am taking power over the food and the cravings versus them controlling me.

Jill:  that's amazing. except for most of us don't have, uh, access to a light that so it's not we do if we're near if we're near kim, but,

Kim:  um, if we're not problem is they're they're actually more so this light was really developed in the uk. the uk has been really using these type of light. they're some of them do more on the psychedelic realm. i use them more for a physical helping the body heal realm. um, but when we're doing these settings on there

Jill:  yeah.

Kim:  they're really specific towards to help the body retrain the brainwave frequency. so there's a lot of tools out there that are coming. so it doesn't have to be that specific one, but anything on brainwave entrainment, that will help.

Jill:  exactly. there's lots of great stuff out there. and the light, you know how much i love the light, but i do wanna throw out, uh, what and get your feedback on this one too. what i learned years ago as a really simple powerful eating tip that has to do with the brain. but, uh, as we're eating a meal, um, if if you while you're eating, if you pay attention, it's a little hard to do if you're having a family thing and you're talking and, you know, because you can get kinda pulled into the experience at the moment. but if you're sitting at home, you know, after your day or even with the, you know, a smaller family setting, i think you could do this. but when you're eating, you'll hit a point where your body will naturally take a sigh and in breath. and what i learned is that when that in breath happens, your body is full. yep. but it takes another ten to fifteen minutes, i think. it might be ten to twelve now for your brain to fully register, let's stop eating. and it's that ten to fifteen minute gap of continued eating.

Kim:  yep. that stays stuck.

Jill:  and i i remember years ago, i learned this, and i told my i shared it with my parents to this day. it still comes up. sometimes we're at lunch or something, and my mom will be like, there's my sigh.

Kim:  awesome.

Jill:  and and so it's kind of a universal accessible brain training with food tool anyone can use. now if you wanna then go well, what do you think about that? what do you what what's what's your what do you think? absolutely.

Kim:  i i don't think i ever had well, i shouldn't say ever. but both sides, i never knew that they were even happening until i started on that journey.

Jill:  yeah. i didn't know they were happening until i heard this from someone. i was like, oh, i'm gonna pay attention and see what happens. you'll do a size. and it might be typically, will probably be a smaller sigh than that. i'm only doing that big, so it's it it can be heard. but, um, but, yeah, the other thing tools.

Kim:  yep. the other thing you can do is you can actually, um, you can use this across the board for anything. so if you want to retrain your body to say, when i'm full, when my body reaches a point where it has taken in enough information, then it needs time to process and digest it, whether it's you're listening to a speech, whether you're listening to us, whether it's the food. k? think of this as just all information that your body needs to digest. k? food is just information going in. it's information to your body to telling it what to do. k? so make do something within your body. tell yourself, okay. i'm gonna pinch myself or i'm gonna pull on my ear. i'm going to rub my head. so do something that you are that you set up to tell in your system, okay. once i get to the point, i'm gonna do this. and start paying attention, and once it gets to the point, start itching your head. like, okay. at this point, i feel like i had enough. and so you're retraining your body to telling it, um, to do this. so then you are consciously aware of, oh my gosh. i'm itching my head. oh, that's my sign. okay. i need to get up and i need to walk away.

Jill:  that's cool.

Kim:  you can do that for anything.

Jill:  alright. i gotta say, we're gonna have to do classes or something or more conversate like, who knew kim when we got started? we were gonna go.

Kim:  no. the date.

Jill:  it's i mean, quite honestly, you know, it's like hindsight's twenty twenty. it's food. it's a big topic, so we should've known. but still, we were thinking, oh, we're just gonna go in about training and how it comes up. and we've taken a big journey all around, and it's been enjoyable and beautiful. and then sometimes, like, holy crap. summing it up here with some really simple tools that we can engage, techniques, whatever we wanna use. like, just know that. like, mostly, it's that decision point. kind of regardless if money is your motivator, money is your motivator. if you really want it to happen, it's gonna happen. and, kim, i'm guessing, you know, the money quickly fell away and other i mean, it could still have been there, but it got you. it motivated you. and then it was like, hey. oh, hey. yeah. i was here for more than just the money. so pick whatever your motivator. yeah. right? yep. if your motivator is is vanity because you wanna look good, do it. yep. vanity is a beautiful thing.

Kim:  absolutely.

Jill:  money, fun, it's all, you know, whatever it is that motivates you. so pick the motivation, pick those little tools if it's the inbre. what would you call the trading? the itching your head. i i that's cool. i don't have a name for it.

Kim:  but uh, i don't know. they can decide their own name.

Jill:  there you go.

Kim:  they're theirs. they own it. exactly.

Jill:  yep. yep. or if you wanna, you know, there's just loads and loads of ways to to reignite, like, the the what would i say? our gift of intuitive eating. we came here with intuitive eating habits, uh, tools, and and it was in us. it's still in us.

Kim:  yep. and i i this is popping up ahead, so i gotta go there. when you're talking about your niece earlier and how she's all big playing, when our bodies want to eat, they will eat, but we actually get a lot of what i call fuel from sun and from water. we absorb our surroundings. so when we're actually in a, i wanna say, fun surrounding, when we're in a joy an enjoyable surrounding, and we're picking up fuel from our environment, clean, healthy fuel, it actually helps the body sustain itself. still need water to hydrate, but we can actually, like, it's funny how plants, think of plants, it's just water and sunlight for a lot of them. we, our physical bodies, are very well can adapt to that too for a certain length of time. so then yep. this soil,

Jill:  but we're not we're not going down the soil no. rabbit hole. soils is is a fascinating topic too. but yeah. yeah. all those plants can live without soil. they they some

Kim:  of them can live in just plain water. some the hydro though, what is the newest thing? hydroplon hydroponics? hydroponics. yep. yep.

Jill:  oh.

Kim:  so but, yeah, your niece, um, when you're talking, i could see her just running around, like, i don't need food. she didn't.

Jill:  and she really didn't. that's what was fascinating to me at the time why i just watched it because i could tell when she i could just feel it everywhere in me. intuitively, i knew she didn't need food. she did need water, lemonade, sugar

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  and lemonade. it was homemade lemonade, fyi.

Kim:  there you go.

Jill:  which was pretty awesome. and, um, fruit is usually what she wanted. she wanted fuel to be able to go and run around outside again. and it was just fascinating to watch it at the time. i was like, wow. i didn't even really know what i was watching at the time. and you know what i mean? looking back now, i'm like, wow. yep. i get it a whole lot more. but, uh, yeah. wow.

Kim:  interesting topic that came up today.

Jill:  yes. and, uh, like i said, i'm pretty sure there'll be some classes, some other podcasts. there'll be some more much more information coming out from us on on the topic of food.

Kim:  yep. yeah. but for today a can of worms.

Jill:  exactly. anything else you'd like to share, kim, before we wrap this one up?

Kim:  no. this is enough for everybody to digest.

Jill:  yes. there we go. wonderful closing. alright. thank you. thank you, everyone. thank you, kim.

Kim:  thank you, jill.

Jill:  next time.