Episode 9 - You Already Know the Problem, It's you!

Jill and Kim dive into a thought-provoking topic about self-awareness and personal accountability. This episode revolves around the theme that often, we are our own biggest obstacles. Understanding this can lead to profound personal growth.

Jill:  hi, everyone. this is jill and kim with one harmonic hole.

Kim:  welcome.

Jill:  she's jumping up and down with excitement. yes. yep. well, we have an interesting topic today.

Kim:  yes. we do. what's our topic, jill?

Jill:  you already know the problem. it's you. oh. ouch. yep. oh.

Kim:  this problem is sponsored by solstice, by the way. what's solstice? uh, solstice is kim's holistic wellness business.

Jill:  yeah? yeah. we'll just leave it at that for today. alright. make you question what it really is. we'll tell you more about it another time, but, yeah, she does awesome work by the way. but, uh, back to the topic today. you already know the problem. it's you. you. let's call a spade a spade.

Kim:  yep. yep. if that hurt you, if that just dug a little wrench inside of you, maybe you felt the little nail, maybe you felt a little, um, a little stabby stabby somewhere. yeah. this message is for you. keep listening. keep listening.

Jill:  whew. you know, on the surface, it it seems harsh. ultimately, though, bear with us. you will find out that it's a very loving, compassionate title truly at its core. getting to the core of it is a little of a process yes. yep.

Kim:  okay. so how do we get to this topic? oh my goodness. so jill and i have been problem solving things recently a lot. a lot. yes. and, um, we keep coming back to we know the problem. we know exactly the problem. we have all these great ideas, but how to move forward out of that problem, which the problem is creating, like, actual can create physical pain, mental pain, um, just, like, a emotional stress in our body. and, um, i even hissed today.

Jill:  she hissed. i've never seen her hiss before. it was very funny to me. but that's that was your visceral reaction. yes. to a problem we were, like, yeah, playing with, dancing with. we weren't even solving it. we're just trying to i mean, you know, we haven't gotten to this solution yet. you just literally hissed. you're like yep. i was like, woah. you just hissed. yep. yep. uh, so i'm assuming a lot of you in life have

Kim:  either yelled or stomped their feet on the ground, threw something. um, you have some way of physically expressing out frustration.

Jill:  k. or you store it in your body, which is my specialty. at least it used to be. i still do it, but not as much as i used to, and it caused massive problems for me to store it. yep.

Kim:  k. so where is all of this this problem really coming from? why is it why are we here? how do we get to this problem?

Jill:  how do we know the problem and that it's us? yeah. okay. so here is a very, uh, concrete example. today i was, uh, talking earlier about listening to our heart, being on the side of our heart versus being on judgement. and we would that was actually one of the topics we floated about the podcast today. let's talk about, you know, being on the side of our heart. and then we dug deeper into it and we're like, well, ultimately we can have that conversation. yeah. but the way you get on the side of your heart and out of judgment is that you acknowledge that the problem's you. yes. hence, the topic for today. but, uh, where it came up is that, um, i am not very often on the side of my heart. i'm so often in judgment. and then i've tended to, throughout my life, deflect or place blame elsewhere. and i know i am not wrong in this.

Kim:  mhmm. yep.

Jill:  and i also know that it's a, uh, process that i engage time and time again. i could look back, see so many times in my life when i have engaged it. i can also see into the future that if i don't acknowledge this problem being me, i'm going to get more of the same result. yep. and so that's what kim and i really picked up on as like, okay, we could talk about the heart and judgement,

Kim:  but at the end of the

Jill:  day, kim basically was like, at the end of the day, jill, the problem's you. yeah. yep. and then if we would bring this up with kim and something that's going on with kim, we'd be like, at the end of the day, kim, the problem is you. correct. yep. or to you, the podcast listener, whatever pain issue, pain point, be it physical pain, life pain, not achieving a dream, working a job you don't like, pick the pain. yep. if you want that to change, it's simply not changing because of you. yep. yep. ouch, kim.

Kim:  we need how do we do that? yep. well, you know the problem. you already know the problem. you are in the problem. you are in the pain. so you may not realize you may not realize that you're actually in the problem or you're dealing with a problem, but yet your physical body is telling you something different. so one way or another, you are getting the message that there is a problem that needs to be looked into, adventured into. and by the way, i just have to say this. so we are in a office that's fairly quiet most of the time. uh-huh. k. and we start this podcast. sure enough, we have a salon next door. and there it's not very often that we hear a lot of noise from that. but we start the podcast and a hairdryer goes off, and it's loud in here. so if you hear a background little humming noise, that is a hairdryer next door. k? and if you

Jill:  don't, our technology is working because it's supposed to filter that out. correct. but as i'm sitting here,

Kim:  i wanted to go and jill even looked at me when it started, and it both of us wanted to go into the judgment. uh-huh. so here's a pain. yep. and in my head, as we're talking, i'm going through my head, i'm analyzing. okay. this is really tough to hear this and be in the present moment. okay? so this is literally happening in real life as we're speaking. it is a pain. okay? and i'm sitting here thinking, okay, they tell me it's all my fault. it's my problem, my pain. even though the salon next to me turned on their hair dryer.

Jill:  yeah.

Kim:  okay? they have, for one, they have a right to have a hair dryer going. they are a salon. they're a business. k? i cannot control that. is this a situation i can control? absolutely not. i cannot control it. but what i can control, and this is where i feel like most of us get stuck in, is the way i react, the way i respond. if i went into judgment mode and i'm thinking, i cannot believe this is going on right now. this is ruining my podcast. this is ruining the experience because this person over here feels like they need to do this. well, guess what? i chose to be in this spot at this time. i chose to be in this office. k? i know what's around me. i know the experiences that can happen. shoot. a a big truck can come by and totally shake this building if it really wanted to. what's funny too

Jill:  is that before you brought it up, kim yeah. the hairdryer has been going on and off. and then there for a little while, it actually shut off for a while. i don't know how it's back. i i think it's that it is the, um, reaction yes. and to pain. yeah. where we react to pain. we react to what we don't like, to what's upsetting us, to what's bothering us. yes. that is the pain. it's not a physical pain

Kim:  that is where it can be a physical pain, but most of the time it's just kind of the the annoyance.

Jill:  mhmm. annoyance. the yeah. the judging yourself yes. is yeah. it's not a physical pain, but you judging yourself is not comfortable. no. no. it's not an enjoyable experience. and, yeah, it's addressing that pain and going, do i wanna create more pain, add pain to pain yep. or

Kim:  turn it

Jill:  into a game. yep. k.

Kim:  so now i'm gonna take some really, wow, deep scenarios. they're going deep with this stuff. okay. because they like to. um, who are they, kim? thank you for asking because my brain actually literally just said that before you even said it. my human brain was like, kim, you should really need explain what what they are. who are they? okay. so they is our higher selves. the the soul level of our spiritual experience that you are having here on earth. so it is your higher self speaking. um, some people wanna call them spirit guides. i have i probably never explained it this way before, but this is what i'm gonna explain it. k. so it's not that it's passed over loved ones that are hanging out with me. it's not our relatives that some people want to believe or think that i have a relative next to me that was in my life as a childhood. so my my grandma, and she's coming to me and she's giving me messages from the other side. it's not that. k? it is literally, um, aspects of myself, my soul that i split up into ways that i can actually hear them. i can interpret them. so they're literally all aspects of myself is what it really is. it's not another soul that is speaking for me. these are all aspects of me. my connection to the greater source, higher source, higher power, god, god, whatever you want to define it, it is your soul speaking to you.

Jill:  so then it gets interesting though, too, because you call they and they who are your higher soul. yes. this higher aspect of you, but they also have personalities. absolutely. they're so so it's different aspects, though, of you yes. that have personalities. yes. so it's still all one kim.

Kim:  it's yes. it's all one. yep. one hermitical. correct. yep. um, so i like to use the word they because some of them okay. like, i will describe one of them as very eccentric. um, and this is an aspect of myself, like, deep down within me. like, i am fearful of actually being expressive all that way. so his job, because he likes to go by him, um, and and they, uh, he will come through when i'm dealing with certain issues. it's like that that deep core belief system that you know, but your your human brain, your ego really struggles to get into. so it's easier sometimes to disconnect from your ego. oh, i'm calling myself out on stuff here. k. it's easier to disconnect from your ego and then go into another place and actually put blame then on somebody else. well, my spirit guides told me this. in reality, it is you just telling yourself a story. um, when you become more clear with that and exactly where it's actually coming from, you're like, oh my gosh, it's really just me. it is an aspect of myself that maybe i can't get to in an ego sense, but these are me.

Jill:  yeah. so some people have taken this and they'll say they call their spirit guides, which is very separate from them. and it honestly, if that works for someone, then that's the other people will, um, have, uh, ascended masters.

Kim:  mhmm.

Jill:  other people have angel names. and if i'm hearing you correctly, you're saying no matter how that's framed yeah. it's still you who's creating that story. it's not a right or wrong story because if someone, say, connects with angels yeah. um, and this goes back to something that is actually very hard for our human brains to understand. it goes back to if we all are one yep. then if you're connecting with, say, twenty angels that your brain is telling you are separate from you, the truth is that actually we are all connected, so they are still an expression of you. so it gets forget it got gets far off into the weeds, but we can do a whole another podcast too at some point on on spirit guides and what that all means. but we're going back to, like, what kim is meaning by when she says they are saying yes. when it comes to you already know the problem and it's you. they are going deep. they are kim's spirit guides that aspect of her higher self are saying some deep stuff or wanna say some deep stuff to us. and when when they are sharing

Kim:  yes. this this information, um, i am literally letting go from ego, from my own my personal stuff will definitely come in and from my personal this present day day time experiences that i remember. okay? um, it will share it wants to share some things there. but when i when you go into the higher self, these spirit guides, if you wanna call them, when you go into that level, it connects to all. so you and i and everybody that is listening, we are actually all just one. we are completely one. so when you go into that level, you are we, not you, we are all just feeling each other's stuff, but we can actually be very supportive and actually be very, very, very empathetic to each other because you know the experience. um, you're living it. you're being it. and so even though a person physically doesn't have the exact, um, well, you didn't have this happen to you, so you don't know. well, actually, they do know because on a subconscious, um, higher source level, they actually do know. we all know because we are all connected. k. with that being said they're like, where were we? so when it comes to this being our our problem

Jill:  january first. oh. well, are you talking about the problem when we say you already know the problem. it's you. yeah. it's like we take

Kim:  we go in deeper.

Jill:  yeah. so

Kim:  we're going in deeper to the problem. say we are having a fight with a significant other, and there is yelling at each other for whatever reason. and you're like, man, this person, they're at fault. like, you're trying to call them out on it. you're trying to, um, maybe deescalate the situation. maybe you're like, um, may oh, ouch. okay. i'm getting, like, ringing in the ears. for some of you, you maybe have been in some really, really, really deep situations with a significant other. maybe you've been hit. maybe you've been physically hurt. um, first off, i hear i'm very sorry that you had to experience that. um, but i also want to say you allowed yourself to be put into that situation because you were not listening with your heart. you were following judgment, you're following fear, and which led you to stay into that situation, which then sometimes we, your higher self, energy, pure source, however you want to describe it, literally has to slap you upside the head for you to like, get a wake up call. we had to pull the rug off from underneath you because you're not listening with your heart anymore. so, when we

Jill:  when we truly listen with our heart, that is then that we're connecting to that higher self. that higher aspect of ourselves. and we don't listen to our hearts, and then we tend to follow, say, what we have called here, judgment or also there's training, what we should do. yes. um, also a big one is that you said fear. yep. or we're scared.

Kim:  then we known. yeah. like, oh, if i you know, i still have a child with this person. i need to stay with them for the child, and i'm here in my head. i call bullshit on that one. just saying. i call bullshit on that one. so you're training your child to believe that it's okay to be tortured.

Jill:  yeah. and we do that we all do that stuff in various scenarios a lot. and, uh, i we we've talked to in the past, and i believe there's going to be a lot more about this, in that we've got to be able to engage life as more of an of a game, as an adventurous game.

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  um, and that and playing with it, which requires coming from a place, and so we can stick with what we've talked about here, the coming from the side of the heart, if you will. yeah. it's a place that's, uh, it's more stable. it's more we feel more even if we don't know what's going on, we feel a sense of, like, comfort or we're safe or, you know, we're gonna be okay. yeah. or we have a knowing. there's a lot of different ways to come at it. but, basically, it's anything but fear. yes. yep. and we are the ones that's where we started with. you already know the problem. it's you. we want these changes. yep. if we want these changes, pick it. yep. uh, relationship, like we said earlier, job, physical health. yep. we have

Kim:  the dryer next door.

Jill:  yeah. the noise coming through. yeah.

Kim:  so oh, they're pulling me back in. um, when i say pulling me back in, by the way, it's it's like i get pulled back into everybody else's energy versus, like, being in my my human self. it's very odd, but super fun. um, so they're like, you keep hearing the problem is you. you keep hearing kim and jill say the problem is you. and then i see somebody smiling. so this is like your highest self smiling at you. and they're like, we maybe hit you upside the head. maybe we pulled the rug out from underneath you. maybe we've been putting signs in front of you, and you're just not listening, um, with your heart. and they're like, really? um, when we say listen to your heart, it's like that that subconscious knowing. you already know the answers. the the problem is you're not allowing those answers to come to the surface. you've been asking for guidance. you've been getting it from people all around you. you people have been telling you, you should do this. you should do that. k. by the way oh, hold on. k. they're like, when people say should, listen to that with a grain of salt. wow. okay. because you should not do anything for anybody else. first and foremost,

Jill:  stop shouldn't all over yourself. that's why i've

Kim:  heard it, but stop shouldn't all over yourself. yep. so just listen to some of their the verbiage. you do not need to act upon it right away, but just listen. k? um, if it doesn't if it doesn't resonate at the time and when i say resonate, if it doesn't, like, click inside of you, if it doesn't create, like, a nerve oh. um, if it doesn't spring up a nerve inside of you or or anything as you're like, you hear it, you're like, okay. there's really no feeling with it. let it be. let it be. do not move forward with that one. but when you're in a situation, there there's a time and place for feeling. woah. when you're in a situation, say say you're in a, um, i'm gonna go back to domestic. um, when you're you're you're angry, you're frustrated, things are not going your way, do some this is where the intervention comes into play. because you're like, i don't know how to get out of this. i know i need to get out of this. i know the problem. k? the problem is i i feel stuck. k? i feel stuck that i can't express myself. i feel stuck that i can't say what i need. i'm not getting the help that i need. i'd like that. i know that's my problem. okay? so this is where the human brain goes into there. they're like, okay. what's your intervention? jill, i love your list. they're showing me your list. um, so they're showing me intervention. this is where i get pulled all over the place. there's multiple interventions. some people choose to go to, say, drinking alcohol. some people choose to, um, disconnecting and going and hanging out with their friends all the time. um, really not really facing the problem. it's it's a distraction. so you're using your a distraction as an intervention. they're like some of these distractions can actually be very powerful when used appropriately. so if you're intention is to i just need to get away for a little bit, that's not going to serve you any good. it's not going to serve you any purpose. but if your intention is to, okay, i'm asking for help, i'm asking for guidance, lead me, you have to say this like in your head, lead me to sources, lead me to experiences that will help me find myself better in this state of chaos. and then, they're like, then you start following what pings off of your heart. so if somebody says, hey, let's go to the bar, and let's just go dance and drink our night away, and you're just like, that sounds super fun. cool. it will get my mind off of the issue. mhmm. they're like, that don't do nothing. it might give you a little reprieve at the moment, but you're not fixing the problem. the problem is still there. right. okay?

Jill:  or how about this? if you do go and do that, because sometimes too, some space, time, fun, enjoyment is a good thing as well. but it's more that, again, like you said, the intention is to say, you you're clear that you're bracketing the problem for the moment yes. and going to do something, but you will come back to it. what most people do though is we bracket the problem, go play, and then just move on yep. as though the problem isn't there. but the thing is is is the problem is still there. yes. exactly. how many times you try that's where when we started the problem, it's you. yep. because you've and i've done this so many times. like, you okay. i'm just gonna go do this and then you just get distracted and you move on, and then that problem comes back and bites you in the butt again. you're like, this thing's still here.

Kim:  yep. damn. he didn't go away yet?

Jill:  uh-huh. and it comes back problems tend to come back more intense, higher intensity each round. yes. because it's some of us need a lot of intensity to gain our attention from it. yep. yeah. so

Kim:  so if you are one of those people that are you're feeling stuck, you're feeling like you're you're not moving forward, you're like, okay. the problem is my job, and i i i literally i don't i don't know. like, this is all i've known. um, i don't i don't wanna look for another job. and they're like, well, that's not our fault that you don't wanna look for another job. k? um, if you choose not to look for another job, then you are choosing to stay within the problem.

Jill:  so that's why i was just getting as you were saying that on, like, hashtag truth bomb coming your way. i could feel it coming from kim kim. the now here's the truth. the truth is if you have a problem such as you don't like my job, but you don't want to look for a job yeah. it's just going to get worse. yep. that's actually the intervention you could do with yourself at that moment and say, if i don't like my job and i don't wanna look for a job, this is just going to get worse. that is the truth. yep. so that's one direction you can go with an intervention. yeah. oh my goodness. another direction might be

Kim:  right? um, to maybe play with it? yep.

Jill:  say, okay. turn it into a game. yep. say, alright. what is what is it

Kim:  about this job that i really don't like? so start self analyzing. what is it that you're doing at this job that you really like?

Jill:  i just heard a collective groan. oh, self analyze? yes.

Kim:  virgo in me loves to self analyze. come on now.

Jill:  she does, kim. you do. you love it, and you're really good at it. and you have, like, refined the art of self analysis to the point that it's literally a game for you. just for the record, most of us do not find it a fun game. most of us do the collective ground of, oh my god. i have to analyze myself. well, i think, simmone, is because we've confused self analysis with self judgment. yes. and so the analysis becomes a painful experience. yeah. so then we're meeting pain with pain. yes. and i think you've trained yourself to meet pain with a game. yeah. self analysis is a game to you. it really is. it is. you you do it. you you won't. if it hurts you, you just won't do it. you'll be like, nope. not doing that. but you're so fast at it, you don't even necessarily no. right. you you did when you taught yourself. you had to walk yourself through it step by step, but you've done it now for so long that you're like, you need to self analyze yourself. are you kidding me? kim. okay. so let's give a concrete example of self analyzing ourselves in kim's okay. kim's brain. kim's game brain. yes. if you don't like your job

Kim:  k. so i'm gonna go back to, say, a job that i i actually okay. a lot of times what happens is that we are in a job and we do not like it. k? we find every single thing wrong. we find the faults. we find blaming other people, staffing, whatever. k? so i'm gonna go there. i will say now, out of all my jobs that i've had in the past, i cannot say anything negative about any job. now i can say that. but in the past, when you're in it, oh my gosh. that hurts. it literally hurts. so one job in particular, as most of you know or if you don't know, um, i'm an rn, so i worked in many different areas. i've worked clinic. i worked hospital. i worked nursing home. i worked assisted living. i did hospice. like, i kinda did the gamut all over.

Jill:  babies all the way from birth to death, basically.

Kim:  yep. and, um, every experience was a very, very challenging, every i don't wanna say challenging, unique. every single experience was a unique experience. it helped me learn, honestly, who i am as a person. so i when i ask, say i was in a negative job, at that time, it was a negative job, um, there was always you had to work double shifts because the next staff would never show up. so then you have to do double the work, and you're just like, oh my gosh. you never know how to plan because i work work evening shift, and then all of a sudden, oh, by the way, you get to work an overnight. there's nothing open in town for any food. so you don't know if you're planning to work an overnight or not. do you have enough food? do you not have enough food? besides you add

Jill:  to that of family and yes. everything else. yeah.

Kim:  so you're you're thinking about tomorrow morning, all these things. and then you have to think about the clientele, evening shift first and night shift. like, there's just a lot that goes on. and everybody has done this with a job. i can guarantee almost everybody that's listening has had a job where you you don't really know what to expect at times. so that's literally what it came down to, was i didn't know what to expect. out of all the stuff, that was the most frustrating thing. i didn't know what to expect. i didn't know what was gonna happen with the clients. you know, you're kinda just willy nilly sometimes the evening because you're like, oh, crap. like, this is a new situation i've never dealt with. i've read about it in textbooks, but then i'm calling doctors and they're saying something and all these things. and you and you have to troubleshoot right at the trouble at the drop of your hat. i loved that aspect. i loved troubleshooting. it came down to the fact of i did not feel like i had control of my fate. i could not control what might may or may not happen. that was very struggling to me and i started having a lot of inflammation, started having a lot of pain. so in that moment, i just kinda kept going.

Jill:  so you felt stuck because you had talked about that earlier. stuck or you felt trapped?

Kim:  yep.

Jill:  it wasn't because yeah. that's what i got. where it wasn't that you necessarily needed so much control over it. you needed more of the freedom to to do kim. yes. yep. to be kim. and i

Kim:  didn't know that at the time. right. k? you don't you don't know some of these things. so you're you're in this moment, and i and it was very the job was challenging, but yet i go home and i gripe about it. like, this person did show up for the job, and then i had to do this, and then i had to do that, then this person fell, and then the then i had all these admissions, and i look at all the the work. okay? so the task types up. i was so focused on the task that i wasn't seeing all the actual really cool things i was learning about myself at that moment. so i got caught up in it, and i felt stuck, and i felt like i couldn't move. and then i got used to the money. k? i got used to the paychecks of working double time and overtime. so then you my life changed around that income coming in. mhmm. so now you feel stuck because you're now living at that income versus the original income that i was supposed to be started off with. so now you're like, well, i have to work because this is the income i have created my life around. k? then you have so there's another layer layer of feeling stuck. yep. so you're it was just piling on top of one another one another. and then it finally came down to where, um, my family literally had to intervene, and my family got super sick. and my kids did. and that was when i realized that i put so much time and effort into my job, and i wasn't seeing my kid. i wasn't taking time for my my kids.

Jill:  well, because that's yeah.

Kim:  so that's the rug getting pulled off from underneath you.

Jill:  yeah. because i was that's what i was saying earlier when you said about some, uh, restaurant not being open at night or or whatever. yeah. and in my mind, i was, like, much less a family. yeah. like, how do you take care of a family when you don't know if you're gonna be gone for twelve hours or eighteen hours? yeah. it's a big difference with the family of any age children. these they were much younger then, but still, even now it would be challenging for you and they're quite a bit older. and we know that that we're using this story as we know there's lots of you that are listening who can either identify with the details of what i'm saying or take a story that resonates with you that's similar where you felt stuck or trapped in something. and and yet as those experiences came up, like you said, we don't always see them until they get big enough to see them. so your kids, your family got sick,

Kim:  and then you could see then then the self analysis started coming in. that it's like, i i had to go to that extreme you had like, this is what happened in the past. like, the extreme had to hit me. yeah. and then you're like, what am i doing? it's like you get so caught up in the fog and everything else around you. you get caught up in life, basically, until the rug gets pulled out. and then you're like, woah. holy cow. i have to make changes.

Jill:  no. i would like to talk about that getting caught up in life just briefly. yes. you talked about higher self before. and then you also talked about getting pulled back into your higher self, kinda out of your human self into your higher self. okay? i've heard people say that where they're like, hey. life gets busy and they're like, yeah, you're being human. and i'm like, you know what? what i'd like to say for the record is that it's not even being human or higher self. we get into the distracted busyness of life and we actually forget to tune into whether it's our human or human or higher self. we forget to tune into our ourselves. yes. we are, like, so lost. like you said, the fog of life.

Kim:  we're so busy. you get caught up in all the the scenarios, the situations. the details.

Jill:  yes. the fear, the experiences, the obligations, the shoulds. the i gotta make the mortgage.

Kim:  yeah. what about groceries? exactly.

Jill:  all the things of life. yeah. it it happens to all of us so often. and i just wanna clarify, it wouldn't matter if you're in your higher self, human self, what self you're in. the analysis is you need to realize the self analysis in that moment is to realize we're in

Kim:  the fog. yep. and here's here's the crazy thing is, at that time frame, i thought i was pretty in tune. you know? i was being told, you're an intuitive. like, um, i was learning healing touch at that time frame when this was happening. all these, like, really cool things. i was wearing doing all the right gemstones and, like, talking to all the right people. you know? and i was like, why am i so sick? why am i still caught up in this stuff? i wanted to put blame on everybody else, and then that's when, like, when they when it, um, happened where the rug got pulled off from underneath me, i actually just i took a day, honestly, to just start asking questions. we've talked about this in the past. start asking questions. i literally got in my head. um, i know in like, as a child, one place i used to actually go was to church. i actually walked into church and i would sit there with just by myself because i knew i was not gonna be distracted by anybody else. it wasn't that i was searching for god because i or that higher self energy because

Jill:  quiet and safe. and there's a lot of sanctuaries have a very specific energy to them.

Kim:  yep. and that's that was my safe zone. so that's what i did as a child. i didn't know i was actually doing that. right. it's just like that's where i was being guided as a child. right. so now as a here i am as adult adult. i sat there and i okay. where am i gonna go? so i just started. the whole i need

Jill:  to get clarity on when you said you go into your head because to me i am like, okay. if i go into a sanctuary yes. i'm going into the sanctuary because i'm too much in my head.

Kim:  and i'm the opposite.

Jill:  you have also described to me, kim, a very, uh, distinct experience that you experience in your body yeah. in your being of knowing when you're in your head, when you're in your ego head, and when you're in your higher self head. so i think i would actually go a little bit farther and say you're getting yourself out of your ego self. yes. and more connected to that higher self. you're asking yourself to come out of the fog and get clarity again. yes. when you're saying get into your head. is that accurate? yeah. okay. so if jill's in her head and going into a sanctuary and going into her head, she i could tell myself going into the sanctuary and you're getting out of this ego judgmental yes. side of you that's, like, really causing a lot of issues. yeah. a lot of fog, a lot of chaos, a lot of confusion, whatever, and getting into

Kim:  yeah. you yes. you're connecting to your heart. right. is what it really comes down to. which is also wholeness, oneness. yeah.

Jill:  call it what you want. yep. yeah.

Kim:  um, so i had to find that space. i had had to find that space. and it took me actually a long time because at that moment, i didn't even know what that was. i thought it was a new job. so, k, kim makes excuses. k. we need to get a different job because this job is not working for me. it doesn't align with what my family needs. so let's get a different job. guess what? problem still stayed. i started getting caught up in all that working extra shifts and everything. so the problem is you.

Jill:  yes, exactly. it was. one hundred percent. and so i literally did that three times in

Kim:  a row before it finally, like, when are you going to get it, kim? when are you gonna get it?

Jill:  like, you can

Kim:  do it. now when you do it.

Jill:  right? when you got to the moment of when are you gonna get it, kim? were you judgmental and harsh to yourself and mean to yourself?

Kim:  i really was because i was so frustrated that it took me that long. yeah. and it's still now i can, like, laugh about it, but at that moment, you couldn't. yeah.

Jill:  because it hurt. it hurt. it does. and the reason why it hurts is to get our attention. yep. and and then we have that moment to decide what's the intervention that i wanna take? what direction do i wanna go? do i wanna put pain to pain? yeah. which is usually, quite honestly, what we'll do for a while. so the pain hurts so much. and then i i do like the idea, like, pain to pain, or do we want to bring a game in? because i think you brought it in as a game. i did. you started playing with it.

Kim:  yep. i start, like, calling myself out on my my bullshit, basically. i literally was like, okay. you're gonna gripe about that? why? why? you chose to be in this situation. so then then i started having, like, legit conversations in my head back and forth with my ego. it's like my ego was talking to my ego and literally calling each other out on everything. and i and i had to because nobody would do it for me. i had no like, i had support. i really did have the support. but the support that i had around me, i kept seeing them looking at me

Jill:  yeah.

Kim:  and, like, saying these things to me or, like, um, it looked rude. it looked condescending. but in reality, that's just how i was perceiving everything at that time. they weren't meaning. they were sending sending information with love. yeah. but i was so caught up in my own judgment yeah. that you couldn't. so this is where the you you you you've been trying the intervention many, many times. you already know the problem. the problem is you. you've been trying your interventions, but

Jill:  then you're working. so what happens at that stage is that if you don't take another level of intervention, you're just gonna end up with more pain. yep. and so i look at this and go, kim, i'm stuck in that exact cycle. yep. i have completely different, uh, circumstance. don't let me go into it because it's the same i mean, i could've, but we'll just cut stuck there. and i'm like, kim, i self analyzed and i'm still not calling myself out on my own bullshit. like, i am, but i'm still, like, going, but it's not

Kim:  it's a practice. it's a practice. it's not gonna happen overnight. your life is not gonna shift overnight.

Jill:  so how do i if i'm listening to this and i'm like, pretending i'm yes. just someone listening to this and not hosting this with kim. and i'm trying i'm stepping into your shoes as the listeners and going, but kim, what do i do? how do i do that? it's not working. yeah. am i calling myself out on my own, i keep getting the same problem coming back.

Kim:  k. what's so they're they're they're just laughing. um, back to the higher self here. um, they are completely laughing at us right now, and they're like, and they're kinda shaking their heads. it really comes down to when you're asking, we're giving you the guidance. we're giving you all the tools. so you're you're sometimes still caught up in the fog. so when you remove yourself from situations, i need to clear in their throat. when you remove yourself from a situation, so say it's a job and you go, okay, on a vacation for a week and you start thinking clearly. you start seeing things. you're that self analyzing that you've been doing, the self judgment, whatever you're doing, and you start seeing things from a different perspective. they're like, there you go. there you go. and they're doing this little tiny clap and they're like, now you're catching on. now stop and look back. look. um, yes. they're saying to look back a little bit on yourself and saying, okay. how can i change this? can i change company? that company was designed that way. do i have a right to judge that company for how they have it laid out? do i have a right to judge the other nurses for not showing up for work? do i have a right to judge any of them? because i'm judging myself myself for that stuff. woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. i cannot

Jill:  control that. i cannot control this person in my life.

Kim:  i have to step away from that situation. so sometimes, it's really hard to leave a job, maybe hard to step away from a relationship for a little bit, but in reality, it gives you that time to honestly you need people need time with themselves. okay. so here's what i wanna throw in there. we need time with ourselves, but in very clear that there's a distinction between stepping into a sanctuary and giving some space and time to get clear yeah.

Jill:  compared to ignoring all of it and pretending like it's not there and going to bar dancing. right. yep. so, yes, we need time with ourselves.

Kim:  so creating a space or a sanctuary type location for yourself, this could be as simple as sitting in your room for five minutes by yourself. it is the fact that you are making a habit, making a plan to do that, and it starts off on it honestly with just breathing and putting your hand over your chest

Jill:  if i wanna a cry all

Kim:  of a sudden. putting your hand over your chest and just feeling your heart and saying i am safe. i am safe. some of you really need to get down to that level before you can even have conversations even in your head. i think that's a

Jill:  beautiful place for people to go. and let me share this with you is that a few months ago, i decided this is how my brain had to make that work, because i had to tell myself that my job is to show up for myself every morning. yes. literally, my job before anything else. and in, like, three months' time, there's been a handful of days that i haven't shown up. and i'll tell you what, my life goes crazy when i don't show up. yeah. and there is a lot a lot of power to simply showing up for yourself yeah. in this space and with that beautiful process you just described, which is, uh, what i'd like us to talk about is that we we're gonna do a a healing recording. yes.

Kim:  we are. that would

Jill:  be a really nice one about making that space, the breathing, and i'm safe. yeah. the safe thing in our, um, this is about being safe inside of our own minds and bodies. yes. and regardless of what's going on out in the world now, there are certain circumstances, extreme circumstances, i would say, in the world where people are not safe. mhmm. most of us are actually in any given day quite safe, the majority of us. if you are in an unsafe situation, definitely do something about that if you can. yes. but most of us, the safety we're talking about is is the safety and the stability within our own body and within our own mind, and we can create that. yep.

Kim:  and if you're not creating it in your household, or in your bedroom, wherever, i just heard, we will create it for you. if that means that you are gonna get pulled to a stoplight a little bit longer or you get stuck in traffic a little bit longer, that is actually creating the space that you need for yourself. so just understand, like, when you when you talk about creating that that safe place, safe

Jill:  space. sanctuary, safe space. sanctuary space.

Kim:  yeah. it's all it will be created when you put that intention out there. yeah.

Jill:  so yes. alright. share the share the idea, the offer that we had about the the the healing.

Kim:  because you are so amazing and you're still with us right now, which we are super, super grateful for, um, sending lots of love to you. so thank you. um, because you're still here, we want to give you an offer. so, um, um, we're gonna be we're we put together healing sessions. so they could be look like little guided meditations. they could be energetic healing. um, they they are designed for you you and and your energy as to what you need at that time frame. k? this is gonna be free, and it's only for the people that are actually listening right here, right now. so you need to email us at one harmonic whole at g mail dot com. you're gonna email us. you're gonna say, hey, kim and jill. i loved your recent podcast. and then we want you to put in a special symbol to know that you actually did listen, that you got this information, and please keep this a secret. you can send this podcast to other people, and just don't tell them this at the very end because we want it to be very unique and individual to the people that are listening. um, it will be a group. so you and you some other people may be on together. it's probably gonna be um, over we're not quite for sure. it's gonna be over phone, video. we'll kinda play it out. we we we go by your energy and what what it's throwing at us, are like, oh, i'm gonna email you, then you're gonna

Jill:  email me, and you're gonna market me, and you're gonna do all this stuff. yeah. yeah. we are. yeah. yeah. but we're also not we are, but no. no. if you say no, we stop. if you don't want anything to do with us, we're that's it. that's what we're asking you to voluntarily send us an email and say, i'd like let's do this first one, kim. let's do it as a recording that someone can get. yes. that is this the, uh, safe sanctuary space, the hand over the heart breathing, um, probably, quite honestly, just a few minutes.

Kim:  yeah.

Jill:  as we progress we will probably expand on that and go grow that to quite honestly, i would like mine anyway by the end of next year to be easily a solid hour in, like, a quiet sanctuary at the start of, like, every single day. that's something to build into, um, i think starting with a few minutes. what do you think of that?

Kim:  it feels very calm, very peaceful. very calm and peaceful.

Jill:  and then yeah. and, like, this the what are the other things that, you know, you might hear from us? only if you wanna hear from us will you hear where we might add in something like a support group of coming together to make sure, like, you know, it's a it's a bit of a struggle initially to make time to take three minutes in the morning. yep. oh, we got stuff for that though too. but we'll get there. but, um, other reasons why someone wouldn't do this, i don't have time. yeah. there's just no way i can fit that into my morning. what do you have to say to that?

Kim:  i have been there. that's what i have to say. i've been there. i've done that. um, i personally am not a morning person. i will literally stay in bed till absolute last minute, but i have moments in my day where things just randomly pop in, and there is time that is actually given to us throughout the day. it's about some of you just need to do it at that moment when it pops in your head. you do it.

Jill:  the intention. yours might not be early morning or the start of your day. right. because it's your life might not be conducive to that, but your intention is that you're gonna have three minutes to stop and do this each day for a set period of time, a challenge of some sort.

Kim:  or you put a little timer in your phone. yep. a reminder. yep. you know at lunchtime, your lunchtime is always here. yeah. perfect. put it in your phone,

Jill:  pull it up. and there's a a it's called a koan. right? it's k o a n, i think is how it's spelled. it's like a meditation saying anyway. a little bit tidbit of wisdom, which is if you don't have five minutes, something along these lines. if you don't have five minutes to meditate, then you need to meditate for half an hour. there you go. it's pretty powerful. it's just like if you're saying you don't have three minutes, you probably actually need thirty minutes yeah. or more. isn't it true? so that's my that's kind of and then when i first i heard that one years ago, and i was like, oh, okay. like yeah. so you say you don't have time. if you don't have time, you are probably the person who needs the three minutes the most. so what would be other objections as to why people wouldn't want to say email us or get this free, uh, beautiful, sacred space?

Kim:  there is really no excuse. there is honestly no excuse why you cannot show up for yourself every single day.

Jill:  right. unless you truly prefer to stay and meet pain with pain. in that case, yes. but we'd like you to meet pain with what i'm calling today pain with game. yes. yep.

Kim:  play our game. so talking about a game. k. so in this email

Jill:  oh, maybe that's what we need to put.

Kim:  okay. yeah. in the email, you're gonna okay. you're gonna email one harmonicaole at g mail dot com. you're gonna say, kim and jill, i want to play your game. okay.

Jill:  put a game emoji in there somewhere. yes. i want to play your game.

Kim:  yep. that

Jill:  is gonna be fun.

Kim:  i know. alright. okay. um, and if you're struggling with emojis, you can write the word game. that's that's totally fine too.

Jill:  exactly.

Kim:  um, so when when you hear this, literally pop up on your phone and computer wherever you're at listening to this, email us and say i want to play your game.

Jill:  and we'll get the recording too. this first one we'll do it as a recording.

Kim:  yeah.

Jill:  perfect.

Kim:  yeah. i love this.

Jill:  i do too. that's fun. you can play a game with us.

Kim:  we we love to make life fun and interesting, and it's not meant to be hard at all. we both have been through the hard stuff, and we still guess what? we still

Jill:  we do yeah. do. it's there. which brings me to one of the things that i read recently. a little bit along the line lines of that, you know, if you don't have three minutes, you need thirty. it was like, hey. if you don't have problems, you're not living. and i just was like, everything in me i wanted to hiss at it. i was like, whew. but i was like, you

Kim:  know what? it's actually true. yep. it's like you just got called on your bullshit.

Jill:  got called on my bullshit. it's like the problem is me. i was judging the problems rather than playing with the problems. so bottom line is, let's play with these problems if you're interested. if you're not, there you go. that's fine. and also, yeah, we totally respect you. we love you. if you say you don't wanna hear from us, we

Kim:  will stop. yep. yep. exactly.

Jill:  yay. thanks everyone

Kim:  for being here.

Jill:  thank you. you. thank you. and again, this was sponsored by kim's business, which is solstice.

Kim:  oh, thank you, jill.

Jill:  yeah. kim does some wonderful, wonderful work. what are a few of your top services you wanna tell people

Kim:  about? medical intuitive. that is probably the top one that i get. most of my clientele is dealing with, um crazy talented, by the way,

Jill:  in terms of medical intuition. she is wildly talented. i do not recommend her

Kim:  enough. tap into your frequencies. that's really what it comes down to. tap into your higher self. um, it guides you. your body tells a story, and i just try to listen to that.

Jill:  so she doesn't try. she does a very good job of doing it. wonderful. yeah. what's another? uh, energy work. we'll do it.

Kim:  so healing touch reiki vibrational star healing. that is my own little technique that i

Jill:  in person, by phone? everything. all of it. all of it. doesn't it? where do they find out more about solstice? uh, they

Kim:  can go to kimnistler dot com.

Jill:  alright everyone. thank you so much. jill and kim with one harmonicle. until next time.