The Anger Episode Because Nice Girls Get Mad (FULL Podcast 12)

Feeling overwhelmed by anger and frustration? You're not alone. Join Jill and Kim in this episode of One Harmonic Hole as they navigate the complexities of dealing with intense emotions, especially during these turbulent times. With a shift in presidential power stirring up old feelings, it's crucial to understand how to manage our reactions healthily.

Key takeaways from this enlightening discussion include:
- The importance of acknowledging and owning your anger rather than burying it.
- How empathic individuals often sabotage themselves by justifying others' actions.
- Practical tools for managing overwhelming emotions without harming yourself or others.

Tune in now to discover valuable insights that could transform your approach to handling life's emotional challenges! Don't forget to like, share, follow, or subscribe for more thought-provoking episodes.

#OneHarmonicWhole #KimandJillPodcast #AngerManagement #EmotionalWellness #EmpathLife #MindfulLiving  #SelfCareTools #PresentMomentAwareness #CompassionateCommunication #InnerPeaceJourney #PodcastDiscussion #JillAndKimTalks 

Well, hello, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Morning everyone. This is Jill and Kim with One Harmonic Hole. Thanks everyone for being here listening to us. We really appreciate all your love and support. And if you're on like YouTube or some of the other ones, please like, share, follow, subscribe, do any of that good stuff. We appreciate it.

Yes. Be sure to tune in daily for our wonderful short daily messages. And then about twice a month on Saturdays, we publish a little bit longer podcast. Yeah. So this one is Saturday, so happy weekend.

Right away, songs and weird songs are popping up in my head today. It must be a song day because I heard "Good Morning Vietnam." I'm like, okay, we're not in Vietnam, but today's been some weird random songs, quotes, messages from the past have been coming up in my head—80s 90s. Yes. Yeah. Because "Good Morning Vietnam" is a movie with Robin Williams from the 80s 90s. I guess I'm not that good at that stuff, but yeah.

So right before we started we were like, well, what's the topic today? And I'm going to throw one out there, see what you think about this one. Kim, what do we do when we're pissed off? Scream? Throw things? Throw a tantrum? Go in my room? Cry? Yeah. Does that sound like you?

Right. It could be pretty intensive. There's just so much going on right now. Yes. And there often is. You know, I mean, life is busy; life's got a lot happening. It's just at this moment in history; there's been a shift in presidential power that always shakes things up a little.

And there does seem like there's a lot of anger—a lot of pissed off-ness in the air—and some of these things are pinging from the past too. Like things you thought were gone or resolved—it's like woo! I had one recently and it just went off the charts. Like I didn't rage or anything to anyone else; it was me sitting with it, but inside me—inside my mind—inside my body—it was intense! Like I could literally feel my body vibrating with anger and rage.

It was intense. Anger is not fun. Nope. So then our reaction—my reaction anyway—and I think most everyone's is when something's uncomfortable like that—we kind of as humans want to do anything we can to get out of the discomfort. We do.

But yet a lot of times the way to get out of the discomfort is not necessarily healthy or productive. So a concrete example of what I would do in the past is I would have taken an intense anger like that and just deny it—stuff it down and store it somewhere in my body.

And then that part of my body—and awareness of my body—I have to go numb to it because it's painful; it's uncomfortable. You see—you should see Kim here! You're right! The amount of energy she's throwing off with her voice and just her body language is intense!

Over here I'm literally twitching and yawning; I'm like—this is why I wanted to bring this up because I'm shrouding that—that's about 5% of what's going on—and I'm like...and I'm not trying to hold it in or protect others from it; I'm just trying to go...and when I reflect on the past, I didn't deal well with anger or upset—it wasn't healthy or whatever—and literally it made me physically ill over time.

I really have done a lot around this, Kim; for this recent thing to come up and be that intensive—I was like ooh! This time with other people find out there's a pattern out there—there's lots of people that are encountering this! And then yeah—you’re sitting there twitching—and I'm like okay keep giving that sour face look right now—like what is this? And I'm like okay take that! What is this?

And I'm not...this isn't me being dramatic—I’m just going take that discomfort! And inside of me that's like you know tenfold—and inside of me I'm going—I don't like this! Wow there are so many messages coming through my head right now—or thoughts and feelings redefining your belief systems.

And just to be clear this is advice for everyone—I'm just bringing this up—I'm not asking Kim to advise me specifically; this is in general—all of us right? Yeah.

Because it's...like Jill said there's a lot of things—and it does not have to be related to the presidential election—it does not have to be related to politics per se—this is literally things inside of you—that part of your convictions—part of those things that made you angry in the past—that you thought you were good with—oh no they're coming up and they're being stirred up.

And it's about refining—redefining those belief systems: Are you going to choose to continue to participate in that even though it makes you angry and frustrated? Are you going to continue to go into that?

Or—or you could continue to say like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hold up! Why am I so angry about that? Why am I so frustrated? And I mean I think I handle stuff pretty well—I’m one of those people too that loves to stuff and bury things—it’s really fun!

Yes! And then it's even more fun when you have to pull it on out and then it gets sticky and sludgy—and oh my gosh—it just becomes a bigger mess! Yeah!

So it's not fun! Right! We don't recognize when the things are hitting you; it's literally right now—you get a chance to hit things head-on!

Wow! So my thing is actually about insurance companies—and I know this hits a nerve on a lot of people too—so it's not necessarily the presidential stuff—but that can impact the insurance companies going forward—we don't know—we don't know exactly the future; by the way—the future is really never laid out—we are just here—we're participating in it!

Your manifestations your choices every single day can change the outcomes! So as much as say in the past—I used to be able to tune in and get more defined: This is what's going to happen in the future—and like oh my gosh—it exactly happened that way da da da—you guys!

And the world—the planets—all created this big massive shift! So it's kind of a really good thing that we're going into this state of chaos—or not even chaos—it’s kind of like we're being put into—to me—it’s kind of like we're being put into the present moment!

Yes! Like we've been—we had been telling ourselves—and allowed—I’m air quoting—but told ourselves that we could say predict future for a long long time!

Lots of sages—lots of ancient texts talk about how there is no future because the future is a collection of moments that haven't happened yet—you know what I mean?

Like it's so it's us—the way the future happens is okay—we live you know today—we live this hour okay—but truly it's not there—and so it's like the universe lovingly said to us—you can no longer futurize!

Right! And be present right here in the moment—but you can also make up a word—you can no longer pastize—you can no longer go back to the past and pull that!

So here we sit with this whole collection of things within us—and I think this whether it's pinging or triggering would be another one anger or whatever—is like...it's a clearing—but it's...

So okay here's the other thing: Well I know there’s been a lot of random illnesses coming up—there's a lot more cancer on people coming up-like way more than what I've heard in the past.

Um...I'm not saying it was caused by something particular—we're not going into that um...and do I know that for sure? It's just an observation right?

Exactly yep! So this is more about illnesses—the diseases however you want to call them—the mental health—like everything's being stirred up—and that's all related to internal fear—but anger: Anger is like—the biggest thing!

We talked a lot about fear—but right now it's anger—that is really coming out from people! Some people—it is moving into rage—and I will say I'd like throw that out there and just pay really close attention if you're dancing anywhere around the edge of rage!

Because rage—is yeah—it’s like sandy—it’s there—that plagues all over the place—and you need to take action—to tone that down!

Because yes—we're not here to harm other people and you're not here to harm yourself! Right—it was never designed for you—to harm yourself!

All right I'd like share a little bit this way—a little bit about why I brought this topic up—because actually—the thing triggered anger inside me—I reflected on it—I contained within myself—I didn't bury it—I contained it—I owned it.

This is mine; this is my reaction okay? This was how I worked through if you process through it—and I was like okay—I don't like this—but then I started doing what a lot of us do—which are scenarios.

There are few fantasies about how you're going release anger—and usually involves blaming someone else or yelling at them or ending something or whatever—that whatever that is.

So I did those—and then all of sudden Kim—I hit this scenario—it wasn't even so much fantasy because it was real calm and real quiet—and caught my attention—and was like nope I'm not doing that anymore!

It was just a no I'm not doing anymore—there was no anger no angst no nothing—it was very almost light—but it was very very powerful too—it’s kind difficult for me put into words; I can tell you picking up on that vibration then got pushed aside and then all wild craziness surfaced again.

It's been building until we are recording this podcast—which didn't make any sense because literally—I was like okay—I literally have my solution yep!

And then solution didn't become primary vibration—the primary vibration became growing anger—and finally—I was like what’s going on with this anger?

And it's because we needed dive more into it today yep—but found really peaceful unusual response meaning it's an unusual response—that hadn't used in past either.

It was very much like right here I'm like oh...I mean okay what do you get from that when people actually just stop being?

We've talked about this too when they just stop being—they actually get message—but when you're clouded so much anger—not even allowing yourself even be moment...

Ooh—that part actually felt—that anger frustration...so fact you're able get message—you’re able be energy anger—which actually really good thing!

It really is because you're giving acknowledgment—not stuffing burying—you’re saying hey—I see you—I honor you okay?

Anger only goes bad when turns into rage—you start then attacking other people—that's when anger turns negative way.

Anger can be neither good nor bad—it can just be! So anger's just an emotion okay? How are gonna react?

So fact took anger able actually stop take deep breath whatever hear message get message you're like oh my gosh well can't be simple...

It can't be easy-like what? Well took long time—I will say took long time get message yep!

It was lot discomfort but discomfort more judging see we do—and this what think our listeners...

I would venture there's people also probably shaking their heads right now going yeah when feel anger or an emotion don't want...

Yeah it's when we put all judgment there that's...it amps it up—it amps pain with or something—the discomfort turns into pain or something...

It's just really wild—I have throw this out there okay interesting so what I'm getting empathic people...

Empathic people if recognize you're trying justify person's behavior okay there we go say recognize something angry person because they didn't do something right...

Say then who knows what they didn't do something right per rules policies particular situation okay?

And they're trying get away with it and then all sudden angry pissed off—but then all sudden empathic people what you'll do...

This little bit self-sabotaging creates bury things—is you'll literally stop look them start having care—

I look at care compassion for other person—you start trying figure out why they did situation or justifying their actions maybe they did because they're having hard time life...

Well maybe they did because of this—which can very helpful thing—but what doing—is diverting attention off onto somebody else your anger...

It sounds weird but that's see empathic people doing-and then they later on they're hurt by this—

Like oh man I've problem don’t know why-and it's well because you kind gave away your power hmm...

That's weird way put gave away your power then somebody else yeah...

I would say empathics but also people pleasers yes absolutely did did that in past...

And that's difference what did recently—that's where said liked contained-it-what mean by contained-is it's bubble around me...

It's mine-it's very uncomfortable but didn't hand off someone else yep-I held it-and it's process become learn skills how deal intensive uncomfortable emotions tend judge avoid...

It's also exceedingly human want avoid discomfort oh yes!

So-and we want always be love care compassion but can't love care compassion if don't experience other—

Like you—you have be place just being able feel anger—

I heard definition recently about compassion thought fantastic—that it's having passion for all aspects life yeah...

Which would include emotions we don't mind--like judge as bad or difficult—

And so that's yeah that's compassion—is passion for all including this—

And I'm like oh that's not so easy want have passion for—for my anger—

That's even kind confusing right yep but as said Kim when we can have literal passion for going okay here's thing happening and mine...

And it's here front me-it's full there's lots power there instead we have so many us through whether empathetic or people pleasers myriad other ways have taken very powerful thing...

Because uncomfortable but very powerful-and-it's me taking this going here Kim take this yep yep scenario if you're restaurant waiter didn't do something...

You asked for something you're man she didn't do it right—a people pleaser or empathetic person will be oh you know they're super busy...

Like it's fine let them be—that's stuffing burying your anger frustration okay?

So what can instead getting angry-like maybe somebody else table just oh can't believe they should know better blah blah blah—

You're over there trying justify their actions—you’re saying no no no both need stop say okay when comes over table call her over say hey—

Like-this isn't right-and do care love compassion because yes they are probably overwhelmed—they got 50 things their minds same as-you-do-just as Jill does-everybody has lots things mind…

And we're human-we do make little mistakes—but it's okay actually tell somebody hey-I want lemon water...and they'll be oh I am so sorry!

There's genuineness-there's care compassion with that instead being sitting arms crossed waiting-I wanted lemon water-you know-and-it's…

I think process-you know-because what described me Kim-is almost end game where can-I call communicating without barbs yeah…

Barbed wire offenses-it's taking barbs out where can say person-you know whatever-the-whatever thing isn't sending energy toward them harm them whatever ...

But also peaceful within yourself-you're sending those barbs within harm yourself yep-but take practice get there--

Because these difficult emotions I'll call em-that we tend label them as difficult emotions-anger typically most people-difficult—

Are also very powerful-so can take while get where-can say-you might just say hey-I wanted lemon water-you…

I would want swear few times yep-like-that might where at-and might do need-not have barbs later on when laying bed reflecting on going-oh gosh...

That really over top-it took my frustration someone else-and-then-you-go-oh alright-it’s process learning how contain experience within yourself ...

Not having barbs going out other person-or into you yep-it's skill but-it's-a-skill but-it’s practice every single day…

Like-it's all-the-time-that work-a job work-your-is-like-on yourself right that's every single day-like constantly all day long…

And-people do get tired being themselves-so they-they don't self-judging themselves for whatever reason…

They start judging themselves-and-like-you think if-you-and you're constantly judging job-it’s yeah get burnt out wears on-you…

It's same thing if constantly judging yourself-or praying putting stuffing burying-it's-you-get sick tired-your body cannot function because its…

It can't-I would suggest create toolbox-things can do when gotten too intensive-right yes too much-

Like sitting saying before started-this-I did-I was kim-we gotta talk about anger-cause-like-this getting intense-

Like-if i home by myself having much anger bubble I'd have set tools-go-to-things try-and-i actually do have little toolbox-because at point i literally need break from myself right now-

Yeah-and there's lot value taking break from yourself-that's denial-saying i'm gonna bracket moment-go take care myself refill tank-have fullness me-revisit again-or near rage resentment-whatever-that very powerful emotion—

With-ooh-there tons tons tons tons resources-can-do um i would say if you're person based personality-if you're person likes run away problems…then physically run away…

Okay-so almost you're gonna meet-likes meets likes okay-if you're person who likes sit something-likes-sit festering don’t wanna anything…you wanna let sit brain fester…

Then go sit-do something-watching movie-that getting brain-not even think-about disconnecting brain-sometimes even gaming systems help-

But-the-all-stuff-like wouldn’t think watching movies good thing-you know wouldn’t think playing games good thing-oh but wanna justify running really good thing running cause also cause harm body yeah…

There's-no judgment on-pick your tools-yep-so-have make deal with yourself gonna come back-to-this yes…

You’re denying-it-not distracting yourself from-take…I love call bracketing-putting brackets around-but when done-with-whatever choose-including gaming-whatever-is-going remove those brackets revisit yes…

Yep-and then look at from different angle-different perspective-you were able calm down nervous system-so that's why went ran-watched movie-maybe drank glass tea-maybe person needs fuel-like-this fuel-ooh interesting maybe causing-fuel fire-like-you’re-you’re-going-saying cool-now throwing daggers everywhere…you’re adding fuel fire-

Okay look food-yes putting water fire-water works very well me-showers yes-I’ve been known take epic showers sometimes…and i thank Mother Earth-all water-as keeps-whooping.

Yeah using signs astrological signs too-I’m earth-so-to-me-going outside-touching trees-touching plants-herbs-being outside-nature-earthing-more beneficial than somebody who water sign-or somebody fire sign-if there's fire sign-then they use-they actually maybe want play-fire-go outside create bonfire-little outside fire-going safely yes…

Yes yep-there’s-or-can watch-i'm seeing youtube pulling-up fire scene-more calming-relaxing-fire scene background-that-that’s calming-music-the-other thing i hear music-

The other thing hear music-we all music-well-we talked about daily recently music-yep songs-there-there are many ways-so many ways-but i would say had-go-with personality-because if-not-if-not-a-runner-away-from-things-if-more-likes-sit with-and now i'm telling run-that’s gonna create-more angrier frustration-right-so-have match personality-type-

But i'm getting vision Kim-very funny-this occurs-in anger-like-intense arises-it's i see wires-going-wires-so whether run-shower-whatever-it's literally disrupting-it’s cutting wire-it’s-not denying-it-just cutting saying nope-we're gonna stop here-if don’t stop which happened-bringing-up conversation-those wires kept getting more complicated-to point where starting-could feel tied up them-

Now-the anger starting-be if you will-in control-me rather than directing life-the anger starting-direct life-so cut wire-ooh okay well tried shower-cut one wire-but still too intense-what next thing i can-do?

Yep-you know-was next thing sometimes few minutes-sometimes few hours-sometimes few days rarely-but-on occasion suppose few weeks yep-

What do get if lasting-i'm quite sure timeframe-but-they're-show-me-if-dealing-if-sitting emotion-doing things calm down your body-coming back emotion-still changing-now turns physical-so may need attack things physically-may feel aches pains body

It's one thing-if catch-the-anger-emotional move through move through mind creating sense peace with-didn’t create change-created sense peace doesn’t resort physical body

Okay-it’s locked physical-but if let go days-even day sometimes doesn’t take long-hitting physical side-you're whoa thought doing great-and shift physical sometimes-body needs clear physically too

If gets physical where-in pain aches whatever-is-lot times want-get angrier-want say thought doing everything-right-i drinking tea-ran-took shower-thought everything

Yeah

And sometimes you've locked same energy-belief system-vibration you've locked energy vibration-system-long time ago-so already stuffed buried-now-at point where gonna deal with now-gonna bring surface guess what physically gotta come out from cell

So there's vibration comes-from-inside-your-body-gonna come-out-so may physically feel they're-like keep doing work keep doing once run-go-get medications pain-sometimes stuffing burying where other time people need physical support

Yeah-to deal mental-each person individual-can't say-go shower-gonna agree great-for-your body's gonna great-really-really-have decide yourself-yep

Have-a-you know-some-call self-care program-self-care has been little overused though where its-likes-what mean by-Kim-is self-care-can become means distract-deny things where don’t-you know-bracketing they'll come back

So make sure self-care plan-if want-has coming back-because eventually i think-for-me ultimate thing want able-do-able sit emotion-powerful-anxiety emotion sit-be said as said-be-with eventfully when can get-not reacting feeling-being eventually done-many times life-so i know-eventually feel dissipate

You feel within very-being feel dissipate mentally-feel emotion dissipate-also feel physical vibration move-out-and-it moves into stillness-because very calm-peaceful

When you've gotten space-now know-as said-can work now know-my work here done-yep-for particular one yes yep yep 

And i would say more-no not even that's once realize-power change stuff-gonna recognize whole lot more within yourself-that judging-having pain associated-things start coming 

I want say congratulations-because opened Pandora's box-opened true healing-don't run away from-kind embrace-embrace own power sense-be-oh ok well what's next then what's next ready ready-in vibration 

I know now can do-is falling love challenges 

Have-a-lot fallen love yet challenges 

I'm ok-how can i have fun with-this-that fascinating about Kim she does challenges 

She literally fascinated by them-has fun plays them 

Talking about anger-even some-conversation touching bit rage-this kind thing isn't necessarily fun topic-but you know what-if learn play with actually does become 

Right what would call entertaining becomes entertaining 

If recognize actually getting angry something 

When recognize actually start laughing own head at myself start calling myself out on 
it 

I'm like oh my gosh are-you-what doing Kim-likely allowing much power 

Just stop 

Then literally start laughing keep laughing head-ok gotta change-up-for me--lot mental-get brain-start talking myself-then feel whole body realize tense actually getting over-start storing before even knew  

Let me ask because incredible me 

You’ve often I've heard say-get brain yeah 

Would challenge laughing at myself 

It's not can't laugh at myself

It's serious get

And there's beats laughing because laughing

I'm need learn where did learn laugh lovingly laugh at yourself-because you're insulting yourself 

You're bringing levity bringing lightness aerating 

Honestly-not serious 

What called laughing situation serious 

Oh—inappropriately laughed yes 

Okay yep 

So-called-out-on-that wasn’t super inappropriate-but some close friends noticed talk angry frustrated things-would laugh—they're really good disrupting energy 

You laughed disarming energy didn’t realize doing-disrupting energy-yep nice

But also noticed did relief-shifted energy-gave sense relief--

But laughing outward towards situation-right?

Still realized judging 

Then asked well need laugh-made feel-good shift energy-give sense relief-laughing outward towards someone else diminished power diminished ideas-concepts somebody else might had

Well-it diminished way-more yeah-deflected-or-something-but receiving weren’t enjoying correct 
because projecting your stuff others isn't giving relief-uncomfortable 
not challenging emotion uncomfortable-more 
like-you don’t do 
that-me  

Yep  

So stopped doing took inside-did inside-talked side-brain which fascinates-me  

She goes left-right side-brain  

Yep  

She goes inside much acutely aware side-brain  

Talk back forth-still-is correct-am reflecting back you've heard  

Yep  

Um-and-fun  

I don't know when get inside own head-change-well-get inside seem brain first-go body  

Yep  

Body yelling ignore moment-go brain  

Yep  

Then start asking questions brain ok--so  

You're denying body-entry point play-with-this-your brain  

Yep  

Then used body knee hurts OK--then focused much knee knee had actually whole story than knee by time manifested  

There’s whole backstory that's brain  

Yep  
  
And probably than other plan we'll call-in brain that's own conversation  
  
Yep  
   
We'll leave as brain-right now  
  
Because I've witnessed Kim having back forth  
   
It funny watching tennis match sometimes  
  
So fun  
  
But play-I love said disrupt energy  
   
Yep yep  
  
I think key takeaway-with-the-withanger  
   
That's summarizes sums-up-disrupts energy-denying-projecting-disruptting-cutting 
   
Didn’t deny project sending intensive emotion onto someone else  
   
Disrupts-not denying bracketing–but come back later doesn’t power over 
   
You most powerful-play-with-again  
   
Then entertained-because now-oh how kim-how create wow must pretty flipping talented create knee pain–what did-do?
   
You know?
   
That's conversations head as-to-I create everything  
   
We all create stories disruptions-own angers-create-no-one else creating us  
  
Yeah  
  
There's big level ownership This  
  
When i'm-in head-start talking asking questions blunt therapist literally calling-out stuff
  
That's-get head-start talking-to-myself
  
Then sometimes actually poor-me-in-head-too
     
Then-other side knock-off-no-really-look spaces
  
But work
  
I admit times past still wanting go back don’t deal stuff
 
Yeah 
 
You’re though-way-literally relationship-yourself actively relationship-yourself 
  
Yep
   
You're conversation 
  
Right 
 
You're-in relationship mental-body-having communication-conversation-curious-playing-disrupting 
  
Yeah
 
It's within
 
I think that's thing
 
When said future stuff while ago talked future
 
Okay future wellness today
 
Yes
 
Yes
 
We make wellness today
 
Yes
 
Yeah i'm gonna let that's fascinating-brain conversations 
  
We're gonna talk more another time
  
We really are
  
Yes
  
For right now-for now closing thoughts
     
The pain-theanger-theanger experiencing valid
     
I tell right now valid
     
Yep
   
So don’t run away from-don't stuff bury please-stop projecting others 
  
Disrupt-disrupt some way until manage inside
  
Yep
  
Yeah-stop projecting others-our world collapse 
     
Being honest-one
  
There-can very huge great divide when continue path-of-angry-right-now they're-on
  
So important 
     
Yeah
 
It's really important
   
Like we've tried bring levity conversation much-can still got serious
 
Didn’t near serious truth matter deep-biggest believe anyone-do right now disrupt-energy projecting-intensive emotion onto someone else
   
Yep-disrupt
     
Intensive emotion good-inaccurate
   
Yeah
   
Like alright 
 
Okay any final closing thoughts?
     
Heard no ma’am
     
No ma’am!
     
There we are!
     
There we are!
     
Go disrupt energy-take care yourself-have conversation brain-seek help need definitely saying don’t project others-
     
Or saying don’t help-definitely help need
   
When need-run-play games
     
But do work-exactly!
     
Alright
 
Okay!
      
This Kim Jill-One Harmonic until next time