How to Spot Manipulation (and Stop Doing It!) Daily MINI-CAST with Kim & Jill

Unravel the hidden layers of manipulation in everyday interactions. 🌟

In this episode, Kim and Joe dive deep into the subtle art of manipulation that often goes unnoticed in our daily lives. They explore how unconscious behaviors can lead to manipulative actions, especially in relationships where expectations often blur boundaries. Through candid discussions, they shed light on recognizing these patterns and the importance of setting clear boundaries.

Key Takeaways:
- Discover how subconscious actions may unintentionally manipulate others.
- Learn why saying "no" is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries.
- Understand the shift from covert favors to open-hearted requests.

Tune in now to gain insights on navigating manipulation with clarity and integrity! 🎧

#ManipulationAwareness  
#SettingBoundaries  
#ConsciousCommunication  
#EmotionalIntelligence  
#SubconsciousBehavior  
#PowerOfNo   
#MindfulInteractions     
#PersonalGrowth   
#BreakingPatterns 
#oneharmonicwhole
#kimandjillpodcast
#dailyswithkimandjill

Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Joe. Good morning, everyone.

How do we start today? Right. How do we start today? When the topic's manipulation, we're like, how do we manipulate manipulation into... really hard to figure. Sometimes it's really hard to see the manipulation or even understand. You might even be the product of manipulating. You don't even realize it.

Yeah. I've actually seen that within myself, and I, you know, personally, I'm like, what? I... I'm manipulating what? When somebody would tell you that, you get, like, defensive.

Defensive.

Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'm not. It... You don't think that you're actually being manipulative. But what happens when sometimes when you are, like, asking for favors or you're doing some... you're doing a favor for somebody and you're expecting something back possibly later.

That's manipulating.

Yes. Favors, expectation. Oh, you've done this before, so you'll do it again. So that kind of thing.

I agree, Kim. Like, I can look at my life now and see how many times I approach life or people and thinking, you know, I'm just going to ask for this thing. It's no big deal. But there was, like, an underlying, very unconscious but underlying manipulation vibe.

Yep.

And you're not intentionally, like, it's very, like you said, subconscious. You're not intentionally going out like, "Ooh, I really want to get at this person," or "Oh, I'm going to do this to this person." Like most of us are not thinking that way. We don't want to hurt other people.

But then the other person is like, "Oh, were you wrong? They were trying to manipulate me." Oh.

And you're like, wait, what?

And I think that occurs a lot in relationships.

Yes.

In particular because we are often in relationships much more in the throes of navigating what we want—getting what we want.

Yeah. We do it everywhere in life but relationships just tend to really be in our face.

But I think it's interesting because it's coming to light. We can't be... we can no longer be subconscious or unconscious about it. It's going to show up for you.

Yep. Now we can choose to deny it and still not see it but it's going to be a lot more in our tip of our nose like "Hello! Do you see what you're doing?"

Yep. Yep.

Wow.

Ooh.

So...

Oh okay. If you're the product of feeling like you are being manipulated...

Oh...

Oh okay.

And you're like the person just doesn't get it—they don't understand it—I hear we need to help them understand; help them realize that they're not just asking for a favor—they think they're asking for a favor potentially—but in reality they are coercing you. They're trying to make possibly even make you feel bad for their situation.

And you're putting those boundaries up and saying no—putting the boundaries up and saying like "Hey! Do you understand what you're really asking me?" That that's kind of very deceiving—that's very manipulative—and they probably didn't realize that.

They might change their tone and they might say like "Oh my... my... I'm sorry." Or they might just be like "Ah whatever."

Right.

I think one of the biggest challenges too in saying no whether it's this or anything else—especially women—but no in general is a challenge for people because—and just going to say it—we kind of feel like asses when we say no when we don't give someone what we know they want.

And that's why some people struggle so much in my opinion on boundaries because it's like they'd rather compromise themselves and what they want to do than be in that discomfort of saying no.

Yep.

And then they'll blame it on "Well I was being manipulative/manipulated." So then you have tricky on top of tricky and then it just starts to go kind of... you lose track of it from there—it just gets into a big cluster.

You know what?

Yeah well...

Yeah I do—I really... my sense too is Kim is that that really unconscious favor-manipulation-get-what-we-want was just normal—and it's not anymore because it's just time—it's just time for it to shift.

It's very freeing to just go to someone and say this is what I would like; this is what I'm requesting with the understanding—you know—you're just being clear about what you're asking—even a favor—but you also have to be willing to accept no.

So it's like giving no's to people but also being willing to accept them when you make requests—that's how we let go of manipulation: being okay with not getting what you want.

Right.

Wow. Big yawns on that one!

Exactly! Big moving of energy!

Yep.

I just feel lighter all of a sudden—I do—because that's the power of that saying no; of coming to each other like what I would call open-hearted and open and knowing: you may get what you want; may not—it’s very freeing!

Ah yeah!

Awesome. Nice!

Thank you Kim!

Aw thank you Jill! Thank you everyone!

Message?

Great! Very great!

Alright savor that one—maybe revisit it!

Exactly!

Okay until next time!