How Saying Sorry Can Heal - Daily MINI-CAST with Kim & Jill

Ever felt triggered by someone and wondered why? Dive into this insightful episode where Kim and Jill unravel the complex web of emotional triggers. They explore how our reactions are often reflections of unresolved inner conflicts, emphasizing personal responsibility over external blame.

Key insights from this episode:
- Understanding that others don't trigger you; it's an internal process.
- The importance of acknowledging your role in emotional responses.
- Learning to apologize, even if just within yourself, for misplaced blame.

Join us as we delve deep into owning our emotions and transforming triggers into growth opportunities. Tune in now for a fresh perspective on handling life's little irritations!

#PodcastWisdom #TriggerTalk #EmotionalResponsibility #OwnYourFeelings #SelfAwarenessJourney #DeepConversations #MindfulCommunication #JillAndKimPodcast #oneharmonicwhole #kimandjillpodcast #dailyswithkimandjill

Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Good morning, everyone. My voice got all gravelly. Got a Phoebe Mayo over there and some friends. Lollykats, Lolligan. Oh, now I feel I got something stuck in my throat. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

So I have a song in my head today, and it's "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback. And it's like, what is... What is with this one? So it's kind of reading the lyrics, and this is how you remind me. So it's kind of like I'm getting triggered. Like, I'm creating an action. I'm creating a scene. I am the problem. And then somebody's standing in front of me and, like, reminding me, like, see, like, you did this. Like, see, like, look at your actions. Like, I'm being called out on it.

And it's like I'm... And... Oh, I like that. Just itching. Wow. This might trigger some people today. People might be triggered. I think there's a lot of triggering going on today, and there's a lot of... Yes. Yeah.

A lot of "You triggered me," or "You make me feel this." Which is... I gotta say it: it's not true. Someone else is not triggering you. Someone else is not making you feel something.

This is... This one's deep. I even feel it going into my chest. Yeah. Just where we pulled a lot of our grief, our sorrow.

And then I hear... Yep, I was hearing this earlier: "I'm sorry." I'm sorry.

So it might be very hard for you to say "I'm sorry," but if you're being triggered, you're the one who needs to say sorry.

Yeah.

Because there's something inside of you that got pinged on that is...

So let's put it this way, Kim: if I'm here going, "Kim, you triggered me," and you can be like, "No, you didn't." Jill,

eventually I need to say to Kim, "You know what? I'm sorry that I... that I yelled at you or told you and blamed you for the trigger."

It's... that's mine.

That's inside of me.

And it is my responsibility to say to Kim, "I'm sorry that I pinned that on you."

Or even if I never say it to you directly, Kim — because sometimes we don't have that opportunity — I can go within and apologize to you.

Yes.

Yeah.

But it has a lot to do with our owning our own experiences, owning our own mental processes, owning our own emotional processes.

Because see: when Kim triggered me, something happened triggered inside of me.

And then I on some level consented to...

I see it like dominoes — a domino effect.

It triggered that thing.

And inside of me, I agreed to let all of those dominoes go from that trigger.

Yep.

And I had a moment...

It's the trigger finger with the dominoes.

I had a moment that I could have paused and said, "I'm not gonna flick that first domino."

It's like: yep, Kim, I hear what you said.

Yep. It pissed me off.

Yep. It triggered me.

Nope. I'm not gonna kick that first domino over.

I had that opportunity.

Even if I didn't take it, I have to own that I had that opportunity.

Oh...

What else?

Right?

Yeah.

All I...

John...

That's one of the back-of-the-throw-up hats [moments].

Sometimes it's really hard to hear that truth and it can make you physically not feel the best.

Yeah.

There's a lot moving around this.

I...

To me it's like...

I think the truth is that we just literally have got to stop blaming others for the triggers and for how we feel.

Yeah.

It just...

You know,

and I feel like those little things are going to come up fast for people.

Like they were just fine going along their day,

and somebody just even like it...

Oh gosh,

it's funny,

like you're sitting up to somebody and they're talking while they're eating,

and it just hit you.

It just triggered you,

and you're just like,

"Why are you chewing with your mouth open? Why are you talking while you're eating?"

Like,

oh,

it just triggered you

and the person's like,

"Whoa! Like hold on! What just happened?"

Yeah

and they're blown away.

That's the type of thing

that I see almost like going overboard sometimes

Wow

It's like that domino just blew up

It's so fast

And the thing is,

if when,

if it happens today even that's where

I think that I'm sorry

it's so important

it's not like you have to catch it

it's not like you have to stop it

but in that moment,

you know that's the end game

that's the goal here

you know that's what we'll get to

But if I did that,

I being held to say at some point,

following up,

"I'm sorry I snapped at you for that."

Like it doesn't matter if

I don't like that you eat with your mouth open

It's like talk to people

Oh this is so deep

But talk to people

Like it's the last time you're going to see them

Yeah

Oh wow

Yeah

If you knew as the last time,

you wouldn't care

I wouldn't care that you're chilling with your mouth open,

because it's just not important

Oh wow

Thank you Jill

Thank you Kim

And thank you everyone

And this is a Friday too so we have this rolling into the weekend with us as well so,

you know be gentle with it right?

And enjoy it as much as you can

Sounds kind of weird to say enjoy a trigger right?

But it's not the trigger; it's what we learn from it; it's how we grow

Yeah!

So alright well until next time