Beyond Judgment The Playful Path - Daily MINI-CAST with Kim & Jill

🎙️ How do you hold someone accountable with love? Dive into this insightful episode as we explore the art of compassionate communication and self-reflection. 

Join Kim and Jo in a heartfelt discussion on navigating tricky situations where commitments are broken, leaving others to pick up the pieces. Discover how to express concerns without anger or judgment, transforming potential conflict into opportunities for growth.

Key Takeaways:
- Learn strategies for addressing unmet commitments while maintaining integrity and friendships.
- Understand the importance of stating facts calmly to foster open dialogue.
- Explore ways to shift perspectives and embrace playful curiosity over frustration.

Tune in now to master these essential life skills that can save relationships both personally and professionally! 🌟

#SelfJudgment  
#CommitmentChallenges  
#TruthAndIntegrity  
#AccountabilityWithLove  
#PerspectiveShift   
#CommunicationSkills    
#MindfulConversations    
#UnderstandingWithoutJudgment      
#oneharmonicwhole 
#kimandjillpodcast
#dailyswithkimandjill

Hello, lovely listeners and good morning, Kim.

Good morning, Jo. Morning, everyone. We have some energy flowing in from the other day, coming in to speak.

Yes. The other day we talked about self-judgment and the similar energy is coming through today. And we're kind of a little bit stumbling with—well, I'm stumbling with words today again, maybe because I need to hear the message. Sometimes it hurts hearing the truth.

Does it feel?

Exactly. The judgment in there is what makes it hurt.

Right. And you are not the only one stumbling. We both were in our... Oh, goodness.

So there was a... I'm just gonna call it out like it is. There was a situation and this could transfer into many, many different situations in people's life. So take it how it resonates for you, okay?

There's a situation where say I said I was going to do something, I planned it, it was a group of people and I told somebody specifically I was going to do something. And then at the last minute I'm just going to back out. I'm not going to do it. It doesn't fit with my life. Maybe my fear stopping me, whatever it is, I back out. And now it puts hardship on that other person or the situation, other people involved.

It's like, well, I'm sitting over here like, well, you know, I just can't go. I just can't go. And I'm trying to... I'm making excuses. And so I think I'm in the right.

Okay. And then the other person over there is like, wow, Sam, the other person—man, that's really crappy of that person to just, you know, not follow through on what they said they were going to do.

How do you hold that person accountable through love? How do you express your concern for that love without anger, without judgment?

Yeah, right. And the key is that the original agreement, the original commitment didn't change. It's a different scenario if the original commitment changed.

So we're talking about a scenario where the commitment is still there. And like you said, someone is figuring out—if you want to call it excuses, reasons or whatever—to back away from their commitment for their own personal reasons, which is having an effect on now the group who committed together.

And it can get... Yeah, it can get pretty tricky those situations.

And then to add on top of that, like you said, how we say those things with love, with truth, with integrity.

It's a new skill, Kim.

It is.

And we can go—we can keep our mouths shut and say oh yeah well I'm sorry you can't go and then the rest of the group—well okay sorry guys we're gonna have to cover this xyz because this person couldn't do it—and it's like...

How do you say that even to a group? Like all these...

The chain reaction that's placed onto that one person.

And that one person now has to try and speak the truth, try to keep integrity, keep friendships...

Possibly.

Yes.

Is your friendship worth it? Is that relationship worth it for you?

You know and I have found personally—not in quite as touchy of a situation but in other situations—I have found that a very gentle statement of the truth works really well.

Works—you know—just to say what's happening.

Like the fact.

The fact.

To say the fact.

You know: "I get that you're choosing not to go. That leaves the rest of us covering costs we didn't anticipate," which I didn't even say it that well this time; she gotta sit and practice with it for a while.

You know when I've had it happen where I can... it's a...

It's a sensation. It's a different experience. It's like...

It's really...

It's beyond calm.

It's so calm when I've said it and that's when I've said it where it's that truth—it's without anger, without judgment—and it's so powerful.

So yeah it's a really different...

It's a new skill.

I think in our world we're used to neither denying or not saying anything or coming up with our own excuses to cover someone else.

Yep.

And again I just want to clarify: like this isn't a scenario where someone has something happened where our hearts just bust open with compassion and we'll cover whatever needs to happen; it's not that kind of scenario.

It's just someone backing out of a commitment for their own reasons and you say well—and maybe it's that—yep this is a group commitment and now you're backing out for your own personal reasons—that leaves the rest of us hanging out like—

You still do it but it's pretty tough on us.

Yep yep.

And my heart does go out to people who are in that situation where they do have to back out and do I want to understand their situations because—I mean this even happens with clients that come to me and they're saying stuff—so it's...

I see it in multiple different scenarios and they will come up with every excuse and I know I have personally done that in the past if I look back like wow I really didn't want to go so I actually manifested multiple different things...

Yeah exactly—I came up with multiple excuses to not go and then it turned into like a crapshoot and I'm like man I should have just went—it would have been so much easier if I just would have went...

So sometimes in that person—that situation—maybe you need to re-look at the situation and is there a fear? Is there something that you're coming up with way too many excuses that's internal? You're doing some internal self-judgment; you're not seeing the full picture; there's a reason why you need to be there and you're just scared to be there but it's a life experience that you need to go through.

Yeah—I love the perspective shift is what we're really doing here—is we're shifting to different perspectives—and that's what's really the new skill; and then stating without judgment of others without self-judgment like you said stating the facts as best as you can—is what you see—the facts too because the truth is—the facts that I see in the situation say if Kim and I are doing that Kim might just be like not exactly how I see it Jill—

So yeah this one is layered in—and it's something to really just play with rather than get caught up in it—that's the challenge—I think because we tend to get caught up in it when we're getting caught up again—in our own judgment or self-judgment or all these things—and to drop that and go back to how can I—

Kim—to me—it felt very playful when you said playful loving enjoyable whatever word you want to apply to it when you said "I really want to open my heart and understand" that's what I mean by playful—that's sweet—but I just want—tell me what's going on let's help each other out instead of going into frustration anchor—it might turn out to be a really really beautiful talk and experience and save a relationship—

Same—a partnership—even in work doesn't matter where it is or what it is but yeah—

I love "tell me what's going on"—and if the person won't tell you what's going on then the rest of you—that are left with something that's shifted—tell me what's going on for you—

Yep—you know—and just—

Yeah—wow that's deep—

Yeah it's gonna be a little bit to process throughout the day without trying to go into judgment and anger—that's what we've been poking—

Yep—that's really key—to stay out of judgment stay out of anger—that's breaking that program—the other stuff—I think will just kind of show up on its own so you don't have to get too lost in it—just catch yourself—and—you know—

Oh here I am getting angry here I'm getting judgmental or judgy—

Well cool oh can't wait to use this one today and beyond—

Thanks—

Thank you Jill thank you everyone thank you Kim—

Alright until next time.