New Communication Style Emerging - Daily MINI-CAST with Kim & Jill

Unlock the secret to stress-free communication with a transformative technique!

In this episode, Kim and Jill dive into a groundbreaking method of communication that promises to eliminate drama and enhance understanding. They explore how traditional ways of expressing emotions can lead to unnecessary conflict and introduce a new style that focuses on patience, reflection, and self-awareness. By "sitting with" emotions before addressing them, listeners can learn how to approach conversations without anger or judgment.

Key takeaways:
- Discover the power of pausing: Learn why taking time before responding is crucial.
- Self-reliance in emotional fulfillment: Understand why only you can truly meet your own needs.
- Practice makes perfect: How regular use of this technique shortens reaction times.

Join us for an enlightening conversation that could change the way you communicate forever!

#MindfulCommunication #SoulToSoulConversations #LettingGoOfDrama #SelfReflection #EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictResolutionSkills #PersonalGrowthJourney #InnerPeacePractice #EmpoweredDialogue #BeyondJudgment #oneharmonicwhole #kimandjillpodcast #dailyswithkimandjill

Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Good morning, everyone. What's the name? It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

That came up before. Yes, it has. And then I hear lots of cheering. Wow. Okay, I think we're onto something. Jill's here.

So Jill and I were talking and... What is talking? Communication. And that's literally the message today: a different kind of style of communicating. It's our old ways of communicating that possibly could create drama—that go into right away that mode, that anger mode—that "oh, I need... I need to get the last word in" and "I need to tell you how it is," with all that emotion, the anchor.

It's like, see that? Drop it off a cliff. Yeah. It's no longer useful.

And Jill, you... You learned your own little style of technique within... You were mentioning the last how many months here? Yeah, and I really...

This technique did emerge a few years ago, but I really started using it actively in the last about six months. And in my experience, it's just magical. And it's so simple, Kim.

Again, I'll use us because it works. You know, let's say Kim said something to me this morning that would be a dramatic moment if I were to bring it up—it's like, "You made me feel this way," "this happened," and things would kind of explode between us if I did it like the old style communication.

The new style would be to take that situation and sit with it for a while. Just sit with it.

And really, I call it sitting with it. It might take a day, might be an hour, might be 10 minutes—it doesn't matter. But I call it sitting with it until those barbs go away; when you don't feel where it spikes—when you think about it—does that make sense? Or your energy spikes or your emotion or your anger spikes—where you just think about it it's pretty benign—you’re just like, okay.

Once I'm at that stage, I actually go and have whatever conversation I still need to have—to say whatever I need to say—but it's all done like soul to soul, if you will. It's like my energy to Kim's energy. I'm not actually talking to you yet, Kim.

And once that loss... Yeah, once that process is done, it's like I've gotten what I need and so really it's resolved now.

If anything comes up the next time I see you, you know I'm like, "Oh, I might need to say something," or whatever. But what I've found is those situations—if something is needed to be said or if anything needs to be cleared—if you will—between us—that's the magical piece.

It's like six seconds and there it is—and we're both like, "Oh, okay." Kim's like "Oh, I didn't realize I did that," "I didn't mean that," "Oh okay—I get it." Yep. Or whatever it might be.

And everything inside of now—I was the one in this situation that was offended—that doesn't mean I'm right because I don't know Kim's perspective—I don't know her motivation—all I know is my perspective and my reaction and my judgment.

I could have been completely wrong Kim—and this process—I could have been completely right if you will too.

This process doesn't even play in that; there's no "Oh Jill's right," "Jill's wrong," "Kim's right," "Kim's wrong." It just plays in that this is what happened—but it doesn't take up Kim's time in the communication; it honors your time.

So if I was done with that and really did need like five minutes or so I'd be like "Hey Kim you know I need to bring something up." Yep yep.

And then we would—you know—go travel through that however it was.

But that process has just been... I think it's more... Yep.

And when you bring it up you bring up facts—you just bring up knowledge; it's not the emotion: "You made me feel this way."

It's more like: This is what I've seen; this is what I'm witnessing; whatever it is—this is the information I took out of that.

Am I hearing that correctly today? I don't want to say did I interpret that correctly but am I understanding this?

Yeah—and you might be completely way off course or you might actually be like yes—you understood exactly what they're trying to play out—and then you can choose then how how you want to proceed with that information.

Right.

Although I will say about 90 to 95% of the time it's just resolved—that there's really no need for any additional communication because communication—let's be real—communication is challenging.

And when—okay—I can pull back to kids and sports—and most recently if there...

It says in their little handbook: If you have an issue—if there's an... If you're angry at the coach or you're angry at this whatever—give yourself 24 hours—that's their line: Give yourself 24 hours.

Yep. Let yourself calm down re-approach it—and then it's like both sides able to then go in their head talk through it—like be in the energy of it—the emotions come down tremendously—and sometimes you get the issue completely resolved—and you're like wow—I didn't see this happening—the fact that you just sat with it in your... In your head your mind—you just calm down—you’re like wow—that really is not a big issue—I don't need to bring it up.

Yep. And that piece is just brilliant—and it's been around for a while.

I think for me the main piece that I'd highlight for people is that again I'd go into almost like a meditative state—get beyond my judgments beyond my personality beyond my perspective beyond my... I'm right Kim's wrong—and I go into that big open field—that big open space—and talk with Kim—and it really wasn't...

I get real deep—I was really talking to myself.

Yeah—and then I can...

Yeah because then you can fulfill your needs—and that's...

I think the big takeaway for me in communication is we've so many communication models would say: Kim—I need you to do this for me!

Well—I subscribed to the belief years ago that the only person who can fulfill my needs for me is me.

Mm. I can ask you to help and support that out of love and friendship but ultimately Kim—you can't provide what I need—you can support it.

Yeah—and that's what this is—that's so different—and I think that's what needs to come out of communication—is looking to other people to give you what you need—you need to look to yourself—the house fully.

Yes—and it's actually very fun once you can get to that calm space—the getting from the upset to the calm can be a little rocky.

Yeah—you can do it! And the more...

Yep—and the more you do this—the shorter that timeframe comes because you just...

Yeah practice—you get skilled at it!

Yep very cool thank you Jim thank you everyone yes thank you

All right well we're going into a weekend so this is a good one to play with for a few days

Yep alright thanks again Kim

Thank you for listening everyone and have a great weekend till next time!