Are you getting overly involved in life's chaos? Discover why sometimes less is more. In this episode, Kim and Jill delve into the art of stepping back and resisting the urge to micromanage every situation. They explore how being overly involved can lead to unnecessary stress, both in our interactions with others and within ourselves. Learn how embracing uncertainty can be liberating rather than daunting.

Key Takeaways:
- Recognize when you're becoming too invested in opinions or outcomes.
- Understand that it's okay not to have all the answers—sometimes "I don't know" is enough.
- Focus on what truly matters: joy, peace, and meaningful connections.

Tune in for insights on navigating relationships with grace and finding freedom in letting go!

#DontGetOverlyInvolved #PodcastWisdom #EmbraceTheUnknown #PersonalGrowthJourney #LetGoAndLive #InnerAwareness  #KimAndJillPodcast #DailyswithKimandJill #DailysMiniCast #MiniCast #OneHarmonicWhole

Hello lovely listeners and good morning Kim. Good morning, Jill. Good morning, everyone.

Today's message is sponsored by Jill. Oh my goodness. We had fun coming up with this one today. Yes, we did. Both of us have fun things going on in life and we want answers. We want answers. We want to know everything.

Jill came up with the best solution: don't get overly fucking involved. I say that like through kind of gritted teeth because I'm saying it to myself — like I'm so annoyed with myself. Like, don't get so overly involved, Jill. You know, that's what we do. We try to put our fingers in all these little areas to either make something work or tell somebody else how they should do something. And it's just like, oh, I want to put my hands up and be like, stop getting involved, stop.

But it's not only about other people; it's what we do to ourselves.

It so is. Oh my goodness. It's like there's this point of having the—I think it's the courage to say I don't know, but I just know this needs to happen. How's it going to work out? I don't know. I just know I need to do this next step.

We are so often crystal clear on that one next step, but we don't know the end game. We just know the direction or the sense or the feeling.

And that is very scary for a lot of people where they just don't know. It's the unknown.

What do we do then? We get overly involved, trying to figure it out.

Or even, let's bring it to a small day-to-day thing: you know, again, we're coming up on a holiday here. People are going to be, if they aren't already, spending a lot of time typically with other people and/or with family.

And Kim, you and I are family; we're at an event and I'm sharing my opinion with you and I'm like overly involved in my own opinion. I'm trying to impose it on you, trying to get you to agree with me, trying to get you to see my way.

And one: I, as having the opinion, am overly fucking involved in my opinion by doing those things.

And then the question is: how overly involved are you, Kim, when I'm doing that to you? That's what you can ask yourself.

If you were to do that? Most of the time I sit and listen and start analyzing every little thing that you're doing—that's just me—and then I start calling myself out because I start getting overly involved in the analyzing.

Uh huh. And then I get caught up in that belief system that you're trying to impose on me—whatever that opinion is—which is a belief system.

Yeah. Then I start getting angry and frustrated at you: "How does she have the right to say this to me?" Again? That overly involved just got transferred to me now. I got sucked right up into that.

Because you consented to participate in my overinvolvement.

I'm so really involved in my opinion; I'm so self-important that I think I have to force it on Kim—and Kim rather than saying "I just don't—No, Jill, I'm not interested."

Okay? Like kindly, peacefully, however you want to say it: sweetly, jokingly, assholey—however you want to say it—and just don't consent to participate in the overinvolvement.

Just not interested. Just "I don't know."

And also—there's another one that's… people don't like this one; I didn't like this one when I first heard it—it follows closely: "I don't know and I don't care."

Yep. And what "I don't care" means is: I don't care enough to invest energy or consent or play in that sandbox with you—that's all. It doesn't mean I don't care about you as a person; it means I don't care about that opinion or that creating—I don't care about creating that experience with you because it's a shitty experience.

Oh, the expletives are flying today!

I like it! It's just expressions shifting over here—I like this!

Yeah.

How hard is it just to walk away from somebody? Why do we feel we need to sit there and keep listening to this and putting our attention and effort into this person whom you already know—you don't match with them—so why do you continue to stay there?

Yep.

And if you have to stay there, focus your energy and attention 100% on managing your own self—your own inner workings.

Oh! My shoulders are gone up! Oh! I'm gritting my teeth right now! Oh! My fists are starting calls because I'm so annoyed!

Like: don't even listen to the person—not disrespectful.

When someone is overly involved in imposing something on you—it’s disrespectful that they’re doing that to you.

There's something really shifting in this with relationships in the world, Kim. It's been brewing for a while and it's really coming forth and showing itself now—and it's beautifully loving actually.

We don’t like it at first because it's change and it's unknown—but once we get accustomed to it we're going to see this is very very very loving.

Eventually, I think we're going to just be able to say: "I just don’t know, Kim; I don’t know about that and I'd rather not discuss it."

If I want to be overly involved in anything right now—here would be a good one—I’d say if I want to be overly involved or just involved in anything right now I'll tell you what I want to be involved in: fun, happiness, joy, peace, love—pick it!

Yep!

You know I'm not talking about airy-fairy stuff; I'm literally saying rather than sitting here having an argument about something where I feel like you're imposing something—I mean I'd rather just sit here in peace and enjoy the beautiful view.

Exactly!

So sum it up for us Kim; I'm sitting here taking it all in.

Oh! I thought you were gonna say "don't get overly involved."

Right! I'm actually kind of zooming right now—in a really good way—and I'm going in my head thinking about all these situations where I might have gotten overly involved or others in my life—and how it's okay for me just—you know—if they want my opinion—I could get involved—or I can just say "I really don’t have one."

What do you think of that? Like: “I'm not quite for sure,” and they're looking for an answer—they want us involved with their stuff—and it's okay to say "Yeah—I’m not quite for sure."

Yeah!

Where we go next with opinions and conversation is another topic—but there are definitely skills needed for that right now—we don’t have them or we're not using them because step number one is what you just described Kim—that's step number one:

Just yeah—it’s okay—it’s okay just put your shoulders down like you were saying—and be aware—very conscious of your body—how your body’s reacting—what your body’s saying—and just say "I don’t know," and walk away.

I don’t know—it sounds easy but for a lot of people it’s very difficult; start practicing practicing it.

Yep yep!

I love how sweetly you said that: “I don’t know...”

The siren in the background is not escaping me—that’s new—we’ve not had that happen at this timing when we record so…

Right! I was hearing that too—I think it’s you!

I just think it’s a really important very easy-to-learn-and-use skill—a life skill!

Yeah!

And then it goes away…and then it goes away…yep!

The last thing I wanted to say is: just for the record while you can say “I don’t know” to other people—you can also say it yourself if you're starting overanalyzing:

Say “You know what? I just don’t know—I don’t have to overanalyze.”

So remember this isn’t just about saying it other people—it’s also about saying it yourself.

Yep!

Yeah! A lot of yawns going on over here…

A lot of what?

Yawns!

Uh huh…

So much moving around here…so much energy moving around…

Even if you didn’t quite understand it—I could feel some people may not quite get the full concept—they’re not putting this into practicality into something they know—that’s okay—just stop and listen—feel the vibrations going through your body with this one because I can feel it strong—

Yep!

You don’t know what it is but it's happening—

Exactly!

I love it! Oh thank you for sharing that—that’s wonderful!

Okay—I’m supposed to get overly fucking involved—

And with that…seen?

Yep! And seen!

Alright! Thank you so much Kim—

Yeah! Thank you Jo! Thank you everyone!

Yes! Thanks for listening until next time!