Your 'Amazing' Health Advice? They're Not Buying It

Are you really helping—or just imposing? Join Kim and Jill for a candid conversation about respecting others’ choices, especially when it comes to health and wellness. This episode dives into the tricky territory of offering advice versus honoring personal boundaries, exploring how our good intentions can sometimes cross the line from support to control. The hosts reflect on their own experiences balancing care with respect, using relatable examples (even a broken leg!) to highlight what it truly means to let go.

Key takeaways:

- Why well-intentioned advice can feel overwhelming or judgmental  
- How calmness is your guide in difficult conversations  
- The importance of letting loved ones make their own decisions—even if you disagree

Tune in now for heartfelt insights that will change how you support those you care about!

#NoJudgmentZone  
#RespectChoices  
#HealthBoundaries  
#LetThemBe  
#SupportNotImpose  
#HonorTheirJourney  
#HealthyRelationships101    
#BoundariesInAction
#KimAndJillPodcast
#DailyswithKimandJill 
#DailysMiniCast 
#MiniCast 
#OneHarmonicWhole

Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Morning, everyone.

Today we're going to talk about... I had to laugh because this was not the word I was going to choose. I heard right away more judgments. Yes, no more judgments. But this is how we as a society, when somebody is sick—we're going to pick on the medical world—when somebody is sick and they're telling you, "Well, I want to do this for my health." And I might have a different opinion. I might have a different thought. Because you know what? I love this person so much, and I want them to seriously get healthy. I don't want to lose them.

So I go into fear mode—or not in fear mode—I go into mother mode, and I go into... I want to save this person. So I'm going to tell this person all these things that they should do. And I think I'm being amazing. Like, oh, I have all this information. Okay. So I'm dumping all this information on this person. Like, "I think you should really go see this person. I think you should really go to the hospital, ask for these labs." Like, I'm... I'm all in at this point. I'm invested.

I'm going to jump in because I love how you think—how you said, "I think I'm being amazing." Yeah. That's a very important statement because you think you're being amazing.

Yep. And the... and this person's, like, listening to me like, okay... And let's say I'm talking to my... I'm going to say a cousin. So let's say I'm talking to a cousin who is not into the holistic realm at all. I'm holistic functional medicine, but I'm also western medicine—like there's a time and place for everything.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so I'm talking to my cousin, and I'm like, "Oh my gosh! Look for this, look for that," blah blah blah. And this person is your standard Western medicine person. And they're like, "Okay, okay." And then maybe they don't do it. And I'm sitting over there: Why didn't you ask this? Why did you do that? Like, you should do this! Like—do you want to get healthy?

Now I'm getting angry and I'm getting frustrated because they're not listening to me. And I totally dismiss what they feel is best for them. I totally miss the main point out of this: Did they ask for my opinion one or did I just literally start dumping on them what they should do—what I think they should do—instead of listening to where they're at in their life? What is it that works best for them? What is their belief system and honoring that and respecting that?

So if this person... Maybe they broke a leg—that's an extreme! Wow! Okay, but we're gonna go with it—maybe they broke a leg and it's not anything crazy but there's something there. And they choose not to go to ER—they chose not to do anything—and they're just like, "I'm fine sitting here; it'll heal." And I get very mad: "Why don't you do this?" And they're like, "I'm fine."

And in my head, I really want... It's almost like I'm making them feel—I'm trying to make them feel how I feel—and they're over there: Don't make me feel your stuff! Don't make me do what you want to do! That's—you respect and honor me.

Exactly.

And none of us like to have anyone else impose their—their beliefs—their thoughts—their... To impose them on us. To listen and consider them is one thing—but to have someone oppose them—and that... yeah—like you said—the broken leg is an extreme example. Even imagining someone sitting with a broken leg just makes my whole body shudder! But at the same time—I’m like honestly—if that is a choice someone would make—it is their choice to make.

And you might in your own head start to question some of the things about the person: Are they okay? Are they—you know—maybe their mental health not okay if you want to be in that much pain? But it really is something that needs more tending-to in terms of honoring—like you said—that other person; honoring their space—their experience—their domain around themselves—to choose and decide for themselves.

And it gets... It can get pretty complicated because when it's someone close to us—you know—we really want to advocate for... You know—I wouldn't want to be around someone who had a broken leg pain for months on end! That would be hard.

Now—that would be the angle to come at that's very very legitimate if you will—I mean hey Kim if you're the one with the broken leg I'd be able to come to you and say you're totally entitled to do what you want with your body.

Yep.

The thing is—you and I record a podcast every Monday through Friday—you've gotten pretty unruly to deal with because you're in a lot of pain!

Yes!

So either reel that in when we're doing the podcast or—you know—I'm going To ask you to do something at least about that piece—that does directly affect me.

But somehow we feel like—all right so Kim's not dealing with her broken leg as directly—which is just completely made up right again yes—I'm just fine—yeah her legs are good—but—you know—if I'm like it's affecting us in this podcast—and people are complaining that Kim sounds really crabby—I still don't get to tell her what she has to do.

But the... I'll tell you—the compulsion—the temptation—to take "this is affecting the podcast" to "here's what you need to do"—it's a very small leap—to go from "this is how it's affecting me" and I'd like us to deal with that—to say now I feel entitled to tell Kim what she needs to do with her health and wellness.

Yep.

But it's a leap we're not supposed to take.

Yeah.

You know—and it's the same if somebody—we'll just pick on some other things—they got stomach ache or their labs are off or they're having some chest pain—and that person chooses not to go in and do anything about it—and we're over here super concerned like—you may die! And this person's like "Okay; I'm okay." If they are calm (this is going sound really odd) but if they're calm with their reaction—they're not going into fear with it—they're just like "I'm okay; let me be in my space"—and let them work through it sometimes that's what they actually need—to find the actual answer.

And if all of a sudden—say half hour later—they come to the realization and say: "Oh—you know what? I think I need some help." Then you're like: Okay! How can I help you? How can I support you? Right—we gave you these choices; are any of these choices part of what you're thinking? If not—that's okay—but what are you choosing?

And then when someone chooses not to do something at all—say again—the broken leg—not doing anything; continual pain—

Yeah—a phrase I like is: You brought this upon yourself!

Yep!

Yeah—and that would be that one! Like you're not getting your leg fixed; you're bringing pain onto yourself; there are options or I've provided other options—again—I’m not saying you have to do it—but because you brought this upon yourself—you need contain it—to yourself! When you and I are doing the podcast your pain stuff can't start flowing over into the podcast now—like that's your choice sit in that—or—I have say all right it's coming into podcast might have do something might have make some change for podcast...

It's a very interesting line of how respect people how honor where they are how share information without imposing it and then how make choices decisions pivot adjust track if yeah again it's been months Kim you're still unruly can't take anymore—

Yep—and that might be where comes too so think we don't we don't like when people don't take our opinion because there's level of it's out control unknown really really really don't like that—

Exactly—

And again our mindset subconsciously thinking trying save them trying help them want be savior know—

Yeah—

And has nothing with it all exactly what underlining energy putting those messages people are just giving them—they ask information—not opinions—they ask information—you give information let go let go—not imposing others that's key that's letting go does doesn't impose other person actually beautiful thing I've done very beautiful thing—

I will say too—the other key you've said few times Kim—is sense calm when feel sense calm when they feel sense calm—that's direction that's guidance system there is I've shared what can when calm all right there it is Kim doesn't want get her leg tended what's next best thing

Yep—and if for you it's—and now tormenting with pain making rift between podcast or through friendship then right say okay just not okay with need step back it's okay step back can't blame stepping back at all have honor respect not don't want help don't love more loving yourself enough say okay can't watch continue hurt yourself choosing stay then going step aside little while honor respect wow oh cool thank Kim that's deep stuff today meaningful going seeing lot kind stuff happening right now wonderful wonderful thank Kim yeah thank Jill thank everyone thanks listening until next time