Ever feel like life’s setbacks just won’t let up? You’re not alone—and today, we’re getting real about it.

In this episode, Kim and Jill dive into the emotional rollercoaster of dealing with setbacks, from chronic headaches to unexpected life detours. They share honest stories about frustration, judgment, and how our minds can spiral when things don’t go as planned. Discover why reframing “setbacks” as part of the journey can lighten your load and open you up to new possibilities.

Key takeaways:
- The mental struggle often outweighs physical challenges during tough times.
- Shutting off self-judgment helps free up energy for healing.
- Embracing uncertainty leads to more creative solutions—and a little more joy.

Tune in now for practical wisdom (and a dash of humor) on navigating life’s so-called setbacks!

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Hello, everyone. Good morning, Kim. Good morning, Joe. Good morning, everyone. It's a Monday morning for us. Oh, my goodness. But I all of a sudden heard in my head, but we are so lucky to have you alive. They're like, we're awake. My human brain's not too awake yet. No, not mine either.

And we were chatting before this, and even with our sleepy brains, we were having some deep conversations. Yep. Okay, so what we were talking about were setbacks. And they don't feel good all the time. How do we get through these setbacks? How do we work through them? It's a very good question that Jill and I have been going through in our talk prior to this.

I don't know, Jill, if you want to share any of your... Because I know you shared with your headaches in the past. Yep, headaches been a long term thing in my life. Peaked and got pretty bad a few years ago. And with Kim's help, some of you know, some of you may not know, with Kim's help, gotten back to where headaches are a very minor piece of my life.

And I still keep track of stuff because I'm still coming out of some of that, you know, difficult, more challenging times with it as I keep track of stuff. And actually for this month of July, I hadn't had any headaches whatsoever until this weekend. And then when they came back, they came back.

If I'm to, you know, get all set back judgy, I was like, oh, they came back bad, but they didn't come back as bad as they once were. And so then you kind of start spiraling a little bit when you start when I get too much into that stuff because I start to get lost in comparing to the past and lost in the setback of it.

And it's like, yeah, how do you deal with setbacks? And for me, Kim, I can tell you straight up, the hardest part about dealing with a setback for me is more is the mental piece; the physical piece just is what it is. It's the mental. And then some of the emotional piece is to me what is the most challenging.

The setback—whatever. What can you do? Here you are. That's reality. And maybe that's just me. I'm not sure other people are more focused on the manifestation, but I get real focused on like: oh man, this is messing with my head—not the headache only—I mean the head.

Like I'm making this worse by judging it, by comparing it, by getting worked up, by fearing it going to get worse, by remembering how it once was. That's the stuff that like spirals me. Woo.

And that's totally true. I know we've given—you and I have both given—really cool tools as to get curious with it and like get playful with it and... But when you're in that amount of disbalance it's really really hard to stay optimistic. It's really hard to stay in that fun zone and that creative mode and the playful mode.

It's very hard.

So you get to the point where they show me a sandbox—playing sandbox—and you're building this beautiful... I'm building this beautiful castle. And they're showing: This is fun! I'm digging deeper in the sand.

And when you're dig deeper into the sand it's more like cool sand—everybody remembers this feeling—it's cooler more damp and the sand sticks together so much better.

Okay! So I'm grabbing that dirt and I'm making this beautiful castle.

And then it starts to—the heat comes in—it starts to crumble and it's just like: oh! So I was super fascinated with what I could create here and then the sun comes down...

So there's an external thing that I cannot control—I want to cry—wow! There's an external thing that comes in; it's not even a person that's demolishing my castle; it is literally the sun that starts just breaking it down breaking it down breaking it down.

And I'm trying to figure out how to get it to build up nicely so I'm putting more sand on there... Then the whole thing all of a sudden crumbles.

And so frustrated! I'm so frustrated! I just worked so hard!

That's the frustration you feel because you have worked so hard—you've worked so hard—to do all these practices.

And then why are they not working? Why are they not working?

So there's your judgment: like I've done this I've done that... So then we start the judgment and it's really hard to pull yourselves back in.

So this is the moment...

Yeah.

Yep.

This is a moment where sometimes it's best just to—they show me like an off switch—like on/off switch... See off... Just to shut off...

It's okay to shut down for a little while and just let the mind be busy.

And when I ask busy I get pulled to—I'm seeing say a TV—and I'm just mindless mindlessly watching this TV show or I go to sleep...

It's some way to get the mind distracted not to have to work—not to have to try—to practice anymore because you're done practicing...

Yeah!

Yeah!

The mind does definitely need a shut off at times—that's what I definitely identified—when setbacks come as...

It's—the most challenging piece—is the mind—the judgment—which we talk about all the time—but it's the comparison and the what if this—and then—the futurizing...

It's like misuse of memory and misuse of imagination...

Okay?

Because we're remembering stuff and comparing and judging—and then that starts to freak you out—then off to the imagination—like if this doesn't get better—and then we go off into the future about all the things it'll affect in the future when none of that is actually occurring—none of that...

Like you said: it's like—the sun is drying out the sand—it's a fact—there's nothing you can do about this—here you are right now—be with that...

And even calling it a setback puts in that judgment piece of it—and you can call it that if you want—it's not—you know—it’s just... Just know—that already lays the groundwork for "I don't want to be here."

It's like—we—I’ll use this specifically—in my case—that—the... When there's physical pain—it does take some of your energy away from other things—you know—so you don't have as much energy say—to get up and go and do things or as much joy or whatever—it shifts—people know this—but what doesn't seem to shift is that mental piece of being really busy doing things that aren't helpful...

These are just habits that we have as humans and humanity—and that's what I'm hearing you say Kim—is like shut that switch off so that you can just be with it...

And when that happens—you’re freeing up energy for what's happening here in the moment...

What's happening here in this setback can get sorted a whole lot more gently—it’ll get sorted quickly—I’m getting all lightheaded—and starting to float—as I'm saying this—even if it's not like a physical setback—as in—the headache say—I have a couple things in life—that recently were—a—you could call—a setback...

And what did I want to do? Actually—I did wanted—to go and judge—and say well maybe that's not the right thing for me—or maybe—I need—to shift up what I'm thinking—or maybe—I have—the wrong intentions—or maybe—I went and started judging why—that setback—is occurring—is it?

Then—I really—I was almost talking myself out of what—I worked so hard—to achieve—and—that—I want my desires—and because—it didn't flow—in—the exact way—I was—that—I thought—it was supposed—to go outside—of my hands okay—I right away wanted—to go into—the well maybe this isn't—the right thing—maybe I'm overthinking this—maybe I blah blah blah...

And that's not how it's supposed—to be...

It's more: no—you put—the intention out there what—you were desiring okay? This isn't—a setback; it's just sometimes things need—to shift—and flow; things need—to work themselves out first before—the outcome can actually be—as beautiful—as—you want—it—to be...

Exactly!

That's why—I said—the so called setbacks—let's call them that... Because it's not—a setback; it's just what occurred; it's—a setback when—we start—to say "this isn't—the way—I thought—it would go."

And—I think—I shared this—a couple weeks ago—I know—I did—with you Kim—not sure—it was recorded where it's like okay: Of—the one way—I thought—it should go there are infinite possibilities of how—it could go—and—it didn't go—the one way—and then—I get upset—it didn't go my one way...

It's actually pretty comical when—you can stand back—and look at that because there truly are infinite possibilities—as—to how things can unfold—in any moment...

There's so much—to this universe—so much—to life—so much... And it's not overwhelmingly so much; it's phenomenally beautiful—and intriguing—and when you're with it,—it's like,—it's curious,—and it's that,—I just get,—like—a little child,—like—a two year old through—the yard,—going through—the grass,—walking through—the grass.—And everything—is just magical—to—that 2 year old.—That's what possibilities are.—It's magical.—

And yet,—get very fixated on,—this—is how-it's supposed-to-go.—Because-I think-it should-go-that-way.—And-then-when-it-doesn't,-we-call-it-a-setback.—

Yep,-exactly.—

So-this-headache's-not-a-setback?—

Nope.—It-was-just,-okay,-we're-just-moving,-moving-things-around-again.—Just-gotta-make-some.—All-of-a-sudden-I-get-pulled-to-a-big-man.-I-don't-even-know-what-these-things-are-called.—It's-like-a-computer-board-all-set-in-front-of-me-with-all-these-little-dials.—I-feel-like-I'm-at-a-radio-station-and-all-the-dials-on-there,-the-tuning-and-they're-like,-we're-just-playing-around.—We're-just-tuning.—Some-things-made-a-little-screech.—Fine-tuning-everything.—

And-you-know-what's-really-amazing,-Kim,-is-that-I-actually-did-not-realize-that-I-was-framing-this-as-a-setback-and-judging-it-so-much-until-this-morning-when-I-was-like-thinking,-just-like-pondering-like,-what-are-some-topics-and-the-word-setback-popped-into-my-head.-I-was-like,-oh,-my-goodness.-I-thought-it-was-doing-actually-a-pretty-good-job-of-rolling-with-it.-And-in-large-part-I-was.-But-I-love-that--where-it's-like-putting-more-into-the-fun-dial-and-adjustment.-That-visual-that-you-just-showed,-I-love-that.-

So-called-setbacks.--That's-what-I'm-going-to-call-it-too.--My-so-called-setback--that-even-lightens-it--is--what-you-call-it-a-setback.--It's-so-serious.--It's-so-like-manifested-real.--Like-here-it-is.--When-you-call-it.--It's-a-so-called-setback.--It-just-doesn't-have-as-much-grip-to-it.--

Yep.--Lovely.--I-love-it.--Oh,--thank-you,--Kim.--Yeah,--thank-you,--Jill.--Thank-you,--everyone.--All-right,--well,--thanks-for-tuning-in.--Thanks-for-listening-and-until-next-time.