Are you sabotaging yourself with too many yeses? Let’s talk about “death by yes” and how it creeps into everyday life.

In this episode, Jill and Kim dive deep into the patterns we unconsciously follow—especially those moments when saying “yes” becomes a habit that can hold us back. Drawing from personal stories, friendships, and even pop culture references like Jim Carrey’s “Yes Man,” they explore what happens when our consent turns destructive instead of productive.

Key takeaways:
- Discover why constantly agreeing can lead to self-sabotage.
- Learn the difference between healthy and harmful habits.
- Get practical advice on recognizing your tipping point for moderation.

Ready to rethink your relationship with saying "yes"? Hit play now and join the conversation!

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Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Good morning, everyone. It's Jill and Kim. One harmonicole. And it's our Monday morning.

We had some fun things to ponder over the weekend in our life. And so Jill made some really cool correlations that are happening in her life, but not. I mean, yes, our life impacts other people, but it's like, if we're feeling it, we know that a lot of other people are seeing it and feeling it.

Yeah, well, when you start getting. Picking up on patterns. So talking with a dear friend of mine over the weekend, and that was the thing that came to me as I was like, wow, there are a lot of similarities. Like, her and I are very good friends, but we don't actually. We live a ways away and we do little text messages often, but we don't connect very often. It's more an exception. And when we do, it's like, oh, that's what's going on.

Well, we connect. And I was like, oh, my God, there's so many similarities. And, yeah, that's where I suspect that there's other stuff going on here. And one of them, Kim said, was about patterns, but these are more about our own little, like, internal patterns.

Now, you and I have talked on the show many times in the last few months. There's been conversation around patterns and shifting patterns or habits. But the phrase that came to me over the weekend through a documentary that I watched is a phrase that's called oh, drumroll. You ready for it? Yes. Brace yourself, everyone.

It's called... It was called death by yes and yes. And when I heard that, I was like, oh, wow. It's kind of what we tend to do with habits and things that make us comfortable, even if they're not good for us. We consent and we say yes to them, even though we're like, I do remember very recently we were talking about: why do I keep doing that? That's a death.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Wow. It is so true. We continue to consent.

Or the other situation with your death by yes is I think of the movie Jim Carrey where it was Yes Man. And he started saying—I don't know what the deal was—but anyways he wasn't saying yes; he was limiting his life basically. That's what they're saying in the movie.

So he had to agree to say yes to everything in his life. And things were going great because he was pushed out of his boundaries. But then again it turned into he didn't know who he was and at the very end he had to—like—his life started crumbling because he started to be in everybody else's identity versus in his own identity.

It helped him to kind of understand where he was; gave him some really cool experiences that helped him find himself—but overall it literally almost killed him where he had to start saying like no—like—I don't consent to that; what am I doing? I'm self-sabotaging; I'm harming myself.

Yes. And I honestly today—usually we're—you know—very skilled at having a conversation then come around to some little tidbit and some little suggestion like... And on this one I'm like—I really—I'm like—you know what? Just like look at it; like where are your yeses? You know?

Because there's yeses that are productive and there's yeses that are destructive—and it's—there's a tipping point; you know? You can apply that to anything; it's like—you know—people talk about with food for example: you know eat in moderation; do you know what moderation is? You say yes until you have to say no; that's moderation.

Oh my gosh! Yep! And if you don't say no you're on the death by yes trajectory.

And it's like—it's weird because—you know—we have this very pretty intensive reaction to the word death—yeah—to put it in there today I was like huh... But you know what? If you can—that would be one tip that I could share—move beyond any like "oh my God" about that word and just embrace the entire phrase.

Yep! And how that plays out for you—I really don't have any other suggestions outside of that.

Right! No—that's perfect! That is perfect!

Thank you Jill! Thank you everyone!

Yes thank you!

All right—have fun asking this question today! Right?

Oh my goodness!

All right—until next time.