Navigate the holiday season with your energy intact! Discover how to manage personal energy amidst the chaos of family gatherings and festive stress. In this episode, we explore the art of maintaining balance during high-energy events and avoiding common pitfalls like emotional eating or withdrawing from social situations.

Key Takeaways:
- Recognize when you're unconsciously mimicking others' energies and learn healthier coping mechanisms.
- Embrace self-awareness as a tool for better energy management in stressful environments.
- Experiment with adopting positive traits from those around you to enhance your own experience.

Tune in now to transform your holiday interactions into joyful experiences filled with self-care and mindful engagement!

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Hello, lovely listeners, and good morning, Kim. Good morning, Jill. Come on in, everyone. We have a beautiful snowfall here in Minnesota. It's very beautiful, though. It's not fun driving in, I'll tell you that. It's not fun driving it. No.

And I think it's kind of funny because it's like we forgot for a minute. In Minnesota, where we live, we've had such nice weather, and then all of a sudden, winter showed up. Yep.

But as I was driving, I had some random memories of shows that popped up in my head when somebody was driving and they had a long ride, and there was something very annoying in the car, a song that had to keep playing in the song. Not gonna go into all the details, but I was like, ride, ride, ride in my head. And it's just like, just driving, just la, la, la, la, la. Driving nice and slow.

And I'm just trying to keep myself in a positive energy, not letting the clutching of the wheel get to me, not letting the wind shift my vehicle onto the ice. It's like, no. Like, I'm calm, I'm safe. So I'm trying to play something in my head that's more uplifting and funny, and that's how I can handle some stress.

But it came up with the concept of our families and the holidays coming up, and how do we manage, like, the energy of people around us? How do we... How do we be in the same room with some people? Yep. And how do we manage our own energy? Yeah.

Yeah. So one thing that I know, I recognized, and I can guarantee most of you have had this happen, is that you start, like, conforming. You start almost feeling what the other person is feeling. What do you want to call empathic empathy? That caring. You want to be almost like the other person, but you have no idea that you're doing it. Not a clue.

But you start integrating into their energy. I call it mimicking. Like, I was mimicking somebody else's energy. I had no idea I was doing it. And it almost made the tension higher in the energies. And I wasn't being honest to myself.

And I could get more frustrated in those moments, more pulled away. I would pull away, and I would kind of sit in a corner on my phone by myself, and I wouldn't want to talk to anybody because I was, like, picking up on everybody else's stuff, and I didn't know what... Who I was in this mess.

But that's not in the forefront of my brain. I'm not thinking that. I'm not knowing I'm doing That I'm just, like... I'm just tired. I'm just gonna go sit in a corner. Like, I just don't feel like talking right now. I'm just... I'm gonna go over here like... it's fine.

Or else.

And I'm recognizing... I'm just eating a ton. I'm eating a ton. I'm just eating, eating. I'm not hungry anymore, but I'm just gonna keep eating.

Those are like poor coping skills.

You picking up on everybody else's energy or somebody in particular.

And you... Honestly, like Jill had mentioned, it's almost like you care too much.

Yeah.

When we had talks before this, it's like we have this very strong messaging in the United States about caring for others and kindness and this kind of thing,

which are beautiful concepts. They really are.

And they're wonderful when they're done in balance.

When they're imbalanced,

they become like codependent.

They become not healthy.

And so caring more about say other people's stuff that's going on and then eating to cope is not healthy.

You know,

and I would find myself in group situations and family situations doing a lot of like energy moderation if you will trying to keep the peace.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden...

Yeah same thing...

I would find myself really tired or wanting to withdraw or...

Or I would kind of have all that energy in my body and hold it there and then get home later and then have a headache.

Yep.

Again unhealthy.

And it's like well you need to care more?

Well actually what I've said to people is I'm like,

I actually think there's a lot of people who are highly empathic they care a lot

and I'm going to say it,

there's a degree we have to care less

and what I mean by that is to be more in balance

if you're having to eat a whole lot of food even though you're not hungry

that might be a situation to care a little less about what's going on

and amp up the care,

the self care a little more

in terms of balance.

Yep yep.

And then I'm thinking,

well how...

How...

How do I...

Like,

I'm in this situation,

and I recognize now that I'm eating a whole lot,

I'm stuffing,

I'm stuffing everything in me,

I'm stuffing all the emotions in me as I'm taking that food,

stuffing and buried it

and I'm like,

how do I...

How do I stop that?

It's like,

I'm already in the motion,

they're like well step one you recognized it

you recognized that you are very much aware

and the easiest thing is to do is to take a deep breath and like oh

I need to honor myself a little bit better here

Okay what does my body need?

Oh,

I need...

I need...

Maybe I need a little bit of fresh air

Take a couple deep breaths fresh air maybe

I need to drink a little bit more water maybe

I want to choose...

Oh this is an interesting one

They're choosing a different person to talk to they're like

get away from the people that you've been around choose different crowd

and then just...

They said stand there and listen and recognize how your body,

the feelings inside of you start changing

You maybe start feeling a little bit better when you start to see it bring awareness to it that kind of thing it

that alone just changes it that's what i heard you say kim

and then you can make different

you make different choices once you've seen it

So I'll give the example of my like moderating other people's energies i did it for the longest time totally unconscious completely unaware that i was doing it which is what i heard you saying earlier too where you'd withdraw and you didn't really know you weren't like why am i withdrawn?

You just withdrew once i started seeing it i didn't even have to necessarily change my you know crowd or person i was talking to or anything i would like just kind of withdraw my energy if you will from moderating everyone else's and i would just like start to watch and observe what was happening

And so i'd even kind of stopped it wasn't like i wasn't talking i just was in a deep listening mode and a deep state of awareness in myself of like cam listening here and i'm also like paying attention like when that person talks what's happening in me what's happening to my energy oh when this goes on what's happening?

And with curiosity and playfulness is where i am with it now i don't know that i started there but it's kind of like as we say often kim a game yep yep

And an idea as you were talking came into my head they're like okay look around the room who would you like to mimic?

They're like play with it who would you actually like to be like?

And after i look in a crowd of say my family my brother is funny sarcastic he always has the right thing to say and he he's very authentic to himself but yet he cares about other people so i'm like that's what i'd want to mimic so then i'm going to go over and i'm going to stand next to my brother and i'm just going to also feel better all of a sudden my shoulders go down and i'm laughing because he makes people laugh i'm like that's what i want to mimic nice

And that's beautiful energy personal energy management that's beautiful

And then you might also find yourself in a situation where you're tuning into your energy and your personal energy management is like this just is not working i've got a great yep

And that's okay exactly

I know we've talked about this before you know it's a little bit different framework but i know we've discussed this before especially around holiday times and self care and i'm not sure we framed it exactly in terms of personal energy management or energy management but it's a really important skill always but particularly important this time of year

It really is

And with that said tomorrow is our Thanksgiving yes so we i think Jill are we taking a break till monday?

I was thinking that we will yeah okay yeah so yeah everyone enjoy your family enjoy playing with your energy seeing how you've how you act around people how you respond around people just play with it and actually get like entertained

Like oh wow i just went downhill on that person around them okay don't do that one again and just laugh yeah same thing same thing if you get into the friday stuff shopping and energy because you can do it with family you can do it with shopping with stress you know holiday this kind of thing also just the fun of things the things you're really enjoying 

I love that though kim really focus on the thing what do you want to emulate here so you know if you're doing some holiday prep stuff do you want to emulate someone who's in stress or yourself in stress or do you want to emulate like you know a hallmark movie having fun making those cookies or whatever yep yep endless ways to play with energy but it's really bringing that awareness to it 

That choosing to bring awareness to it first is key 

It just changes everything 

It's so amazing 

I love this one 

I do too 

Thank you kim 

Thank you Jill 

Thank you everyone 

Yeah enjoy your extra long holiday weekend and we'll talk again Monday