The Attention Trap - Harness the Power of Mindfulness

What is the right thing to do? That would be a good question. As you're pondering the things that you're giving your attention to. We have choice in what we choose to attend to. But unless we become more mindful and intentional, Our attention will be stolen.

There are forces. They're just our energies out there that are very, very powerful in grabbing attention based on based on how the survival part of our brain works. The things that grab our attention quicker than anything else is things that have to do with survival, like anger, revenge, hurt, food, Sex, all of those things have a tendency. That's why so much of the stuff online Is is based on those those negative things. And if you watch the news, it's all negative.

There's no positive news. I remember years ago, there was a a newspaper out in California that they wanted to focus on positive news, but it failed. Nobody's interested in positive news because it does not grab the attention. So if you if you were to get online one of the things that I experienced in the last years, we lived with my father, and I I took care of him. My wife and I, we moved in and took care of him the last 5 years of his life.

But one of the things he had the habit of of turning on the the, you know, NBC nightly news. Every night, boom, we'd do the TV would be blaring. And as I listened to that or was around that all the time, it was amazing, the techniques that they were using. They would say things like and just listen. If you're to get on, this just in, breaking news.

Oh my. And it's all negative stuff. Maybe spattered with 10% of a little positive story in there, but those are all breaking news. This just in. Oh my goodness.

This and all of a sudden, Your attention is just grabbed because that's how the limbic part of the brain works. And so Be mindful and aware of that, that most of it is is, most of the media Is kinda kind of well, it does. It draws you into negativity. Negativity is an energy drain. It drains you of energy.

It creates doubt, fear, hopelessness. One of the things I've noticed in So many of the clients, especially the generation that I'm dealing with from 20 to 30, this sense of Hopelessness, the sense of what's the point. Why in the world would I pay money and get an education? There's there's nothing worthwhile. No.

You go get an education for the joy of the education, and, yes, it is worthwhile. Oh, yes. It is worthwhile. Whatever resources you put into yourself And you learn and you study even though some say, well, I went to school and did and got an education that didn't come at. No.

You learn something, And you'll be able to build and grow on that? I mean, you know, not everyone needs a 4 year formal education. It depends on what you wanna do, but keep learning. Be hungry for knowledge. There is so much to learn.

There's so much to wonder about, but focus on On positive things, focus on the concept of can do. I love I love what I call the mindful warrior mindset. Those individuals who tend to be the most successful in life Have this mindset. It's a can do attitude. I will figure it out.

Somehow, someway, they believe in themselves. They they have learned to, face the opposition that they come across. They're able to deal with failure. They slip and fall. Even though if they slip and fall a 100 times, they just have the tendency to just get up.

I can do it. I'll figure out a way to do it. K? So can do attitude, then they develop a healthy sense of humor. It's so critical in our world of so much negativity to lighten up a little bit, to have a healthy sense of humor, To laugh at things in a healthy way, not never to make disparaging remarks of other people and putting them down, but a healthy sense of humor.

Learn to lighten up just a little bit. So a can do attitude, healthy sense of humor, And then those who are are extremely successful, I love this part probably the most. They have 0 victim mentality. I am a victor I will not be a victim anymore of anything. I do not believe the world owes me a living.

I have to earn what I get. I have to choose to take charge of my life. I don't expect a handout. Those who I have seen who live in that place of expecting things, they're the ones that are the most frustrated and discouraged individuals because they're they're disappointed all the time. Instead of going out and earning it and finding their way, Making their way, they expect things to be given to them, and that creates just it's not healthy.

And then Okay. So the first 3, can do attitude, healthy sense of humor, 0 victim mentality, And the 4th thing is they have a capacity to bounce back quickly, and failure doesn't It doesn't destroy them. They're able to learn from it. They don't give it Undo attention. K?

Remember, life is a matter of attention. What I choose to attend to Will determine the quality of my life. And I love this statement also where it says, to refrain from an act It's no less of an act than to commit 1. So in other words, when we say no to something, It is very proactive and and determines so much of the direction in which we move. We have choice, but what I've experienced in life and coming to see more and more living an Tension of life requires the highest level of mindfulness of being able to be present in the now to constantly ask yourself the question, what am I attending to right now?

What thoughts Are on are the main players on the stage of my mind? Anger, revenge, Worry, doubt, fear, the negative emotions. And I'm I'm telling you just by the way the natural brain works, that's what we're kinda templated to because it's the limbic System's job to keep us alive, and that's why negative experiences in life are more salient or seem to be stronger in the hippocampus, the memory part of our brain. So so many survivors of childhood trauma that I've worked with through the years, they're just Stuck and frozen because what happened to them is so extremely, Powerful because the brain is saying you will remember that, and I'm gonna force you to remember that so that doesn't happen again. The problem is that it can keep one Stuck completely stuck in this frozen state.

And so the process of healing and recovery and taking charge of your life Is learning to stand up for yourself to fight and become more, self efficacious and believing in yourself that you can do certain things and then getting your body involved in the recovery process. I love the statement by doctor Bessel van der Kolk in his The body keeps the score. He's one of the world's leading trauma therapist. He says imprints of the past Can be resolved by having physical experiences that directly contradict the helplessness, rage, And collapse that are a part of trauma, thereby regaining self mastery. That's why I'm such a proponent of physical exercise, getting your body engaged, yoga, whatever.

Go on a walk. Get your body moving. Even and even though it's super, super hard, you'll always have kind of a resistance to that. But those Who, kinda take charge of that aspect, make that a daily? What I call it daily are certain things you do on a consistent basis, whether you want to do them or not, knowing that would be in your best interest to do so.

So, again, Focusing on life is a matter of attention, what is grabbing your attention, please pay attention to that. Become more intentional of of your goals, of what you're going to set for yourself as we begin, You know, another year moving moving forward, and Just remember, you really do have a choice on what you allow to take center stage of your mind. We cannot change the past, but there and if you're completely stuck and frozen, there are there are helps available. You know, a therapist with doing EMDR therapy can help resolve past unresolved issues. Had great experiences with that with clients and other other methods also.

So Look into your life and reflect on this concept over and over again. Where is your energy going, your life force, your chi, As you focus on productive positive things, you have a tendency to feel better and and be more productive as you're accomplishing things.