Box Breathing Transforming Stress into Serenity

Yesterday, I sat with a client entangled in a high-stress legal battle, struggling to anchor himself amidst life's tumultuous waves through the simple act of breathing. Despite his external success, he found himself adrift in anxiety's grasp, unable to still his mind long enough to engage in our prescribed box breathing exercises—a technique where breath is drawn, held, and released at equal intervals like the sides of a square.

In our session's heart, we delved into the essence of this struggle. The relentless surge of stress hormones left him perpetually weary because he neglected to allow his body its needed respite. Breathing—this involuntary whisper of life—is governed by two forces within us: one primes us for action; the other invites tranquility. Box breathing beckons focus and control over this automatic function, empowering the rational mind over instinctive reactions.

I shared my morning ritual with him: five minutes dedicated solely to box breathing before greeting my day or entering the gym's silent embrace—an oasis from technology’s ceaseless clamor that so often ensnares us. Our devices are not inherently sinister; they are mere tools awaiting our intentful command rather than dictating our attention through endless scrolls.

Yet we live in an age where connection is paradoxically scarce—where loneliness looms despite constant digital chatter—and 25% of Americans feel isolated without a confidant for their deepest troubles. My plea echoed through each word spoken on my podcast: slow down your pace and breathe deeply amidst life’s relentless race.

Thus lies my counsel: invite stillness into your mornings and nights with deliberate breaths that calm both body and soul. For even amid chaos as unyielding as Florida’s frenetic highways beneath sweltering skies—where urgency seems etched into every mile—we must remember that serenity begins within ourselves when we choose presence over haste.

So take these moments gifted by time itself; let them be filled with quietude achieved through measured breaths—a practice not just suggested but essential for navigating life's stormy seas towards shores graced with peace.

I was working with a client yesterday, and we've been working on trying to slow down and just practice breathing exercises and I introduced the concept Do him a box breathing or there's many apps online that that can help you with breathing exercises. And he said to me and we've been working on this for a few weeks. And so when I check-in with a client, allow us, you know, get grounded. How are you doing physically in your body? What words would you use to describe how you've been emotionally overall?

How are you doing spiritually? And then how did you do on your goals last week? And and I asked him yesterday, I go, so how are you doing on your breathing exercises? Now, this is a highly functional man. I mean, in the world, doing well, financially providing for his family, but involved in extremely stressful situation, very public case with, you know, lawyers and anyway, very stressful situation for he and his family.

But he says, I can't. Says, it's so difficult to sit down and breathe. Says I can't I can't get myself to do it. And so we spent, you know, the first part of our session yesterday on exploring that and he says But you you know when I when I sit down and try to do that, I noticed that my mind is all over the place. And so he's constantly living in this state of anxiety where adrenaline, cortisol, epinephrine, these these, neurotransmitters, hormones flowing through the body of of stress, you know, fight, flight type hormones.

It just and and he he describes just feeling exhausted, just completely exhausted. I go, well, that's because you're not giving your your body a chance to recuperate. We have in our nervous system, our central nervous system, there's two parts. It's called the sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic. So when we breathe in, it prepares us for fight or flight.

When we breathe out, that's the rest and relax. I always remember this way. Para means parachute means you're coming down. And so so when you exhale, you're you're kind of relaxing your body. Inhale, preparing it to, do something.

It's it's fascinating, the the mystery of life and and the opposites of things, light, dark, hot, cold, breathe in, breathe out. Yeah. One of the day one of these days, we'll maybe have more answers to all those questions. But but one of the things that's very common with those who begin the process of meditation, they realize for the first time in their life how crazy their mind is. When you try to stop and sit and perhaps perhaps practice a breathing exercise, you will notice how difficult it really is.

So box breathing, again, is just one of many forms, but as you inhale to you you picture a box or a square, You inhale to the count of 4 or 5, whatever feels comfortable to you. Then you hold your breath to a count of 4 or 5, then you exhale to the same count or cadence, and then you hold for the count to 4 or 5, and and then you repeat the process and do that for 5 minutes. As I start my day, as I come to the gym in the morning before the gym opens up, I I will practice box breathing for 5 minutes every morning. Just get my timer, and I just follow it. And and the purpose, as I tried to explain yesterday to the client I was working with, it says the reason that we do box breathing and the reason that it it can help us in our life, we're using our prefrontal, cognitive, rational, judgment part of our brain to manage the more instinctive part of our brain because we don't have to think about breathing.

But we do have to think about box breathing. I mean, you know, we just breathe. Right? You don't think about, oh, I'm gonna wake up this morning and breathe. Oh, I'm I'm breathing in the middle of the night.

No, we just breathe. But if you take a moment and start to control and direct your breath, that requires focus. It requires attention. And so the purpose of box breathing is to strengthen the prefrontal cortex to make it aware of this more instinctive part and direct it gently. And the quickest way to gain access and to relax your body and to calm down, to calm the nervous system is through breathing.

But we're we're not taught how to breathe. We're we're I've never been taught to breathe. And I went to kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade No one ever taught me how to do that stuff and I had extreme anxiety as a child in elementary school. And, anyway, if it were up to me, I I would incorporate that at the beginning of every class 5 minute little breathing to calm yourself down because when you calm yourself down, that's when you can access your prefrontal cortex. The rational, judgmental part of the brain that thinks and reasons.

Otherwise, you're trying to do school work or trying to do any other work when the emotional brain is in charge and it's all over the place. And so, just this this practice of slowing down, calming down, is so critical. And and we're just not taught to do that. So I would, I would recommend that you just practice this for yourself by yourself calming yourself down before before you start your work day. Just breathe.

Just be still. There are so many things right now in our world that are are meant to grab our attention. Phones, iPhones, being one of the the major influencers in our world right now, it's you rarely see an individual who doesn't have a phone in their hand, who's constantly looking, constantly scrolling, constantly answering a text, constantly checking email. And and I think, not think, I know that it creates tremendous amounts of anxiety within us. The phone is not bad, It's just a tool.

It's what we choose to do with it. That's where taking charge of our life, setting an intention. An intention means I will spend, you know, x amount of time on social media, on my phone, or just becoming more aware of intentionally using this tool for your benefit rather than being caught in this world of endless scrolling. Do you know you know the developers of the iPhone? Those guys who really were behind Facebook and Instagram and TikTok.

These guys don't even let their kids use these things because they know they've been developed to grab a person's attention. And I read an interesting story the other day about Facebook, for example. Now our phones, they can be tracked wherever you are. Right? It's just, how technology has done this just blows my mind even to this day, but wherever my phone is, there's it can be tracked.

And so Facebook goes, hey. You know what? So everyone has a group of friends on on their Facebook account, and we can send a notification to individuals when they're in close proximity to someone else who's a friend. So let's say you're at the mall or let's say you're at the grocery store. You could get a and your friend is in the in the grocery store, or in the store next to you, you can get, you could get a little acknowledgement saying, hey, guess what?

Your friend is right over there, which would, you know, create the probability or the possibility that you can go meet them and say hi. And so Facebook, the people, you know, who who just put this together, they said, hey. This is really cool. We can get people to, you know, connect with each other and connect with their friends when they're in close proximity. But as they presented this idea to management, guess what happened?

Management said, no. We're going to just poo poo that idea completely. And why? Because what would happen is that it would take people off of their phones and have them actually connect with other human beings. And and and Facebook didn't want that.

They wanted people on their phones. They wanted people scrolling. The because that's how they make money. So see, it's just little things like that that are just like, so it we're we're kind of very subtly been being driven not to connect with other people. And isolation and feeling not connected with other people is one of the greatest, mental health issues that we're dealing with today.

Most people don't feel connected or deeply connected to another human being. I mean, the latest I read something the other day that said 25% of Americans don't feel they have one person they can really talk to about a significant challenge or problem in their life. That's 1 fourth of people walking around feeling totally isolated even though they're walking around with their phones. So, anyway, just, would ask. Here's the ask in this podcast, that you just slow down.

Take a minute. Where are you going to so fast? I mean, think about it. Wherever you go, there you're at. And if you're constantly full of anxiety, what's the next thing I need to do?

It just, it, it just is not good for our bodies. We want to be healthy and want to be able to find some enjoyment in this life. Then it's critical that we learn how to slow down, calm down, and enjoy what's right before us. And and and try to appreciate what is right before us rather than being caught up in this this anxiety driven world of trying to get to the the next place so fast. Like, you know, when people are driving on the road, it's just crazy.

I don't know what's like where where you're from, but here in Florida, man, the roads are crazy. It's like people are just crazy driving all over the place. And and when someone in a 45 mile an hour zone and they're going 70 miles an hour and they, you know, come around you and cut you off and stuff like that, I always say to myself, where where are you going to so fast? And then when you get to where you're going to, well, then what are you gonna do? Are you doing the same thing in all aspects of your life?

Calm down. Slow down. Take time to appreciate what's right in front of you, and see if that might be able to, give you a little peace and start to practice that more on a consistent basis. So I would just suggest breathing exercises, at least in the morning and in the evening before you go to bed to calm yourself down. Be still.

Be slow. And if if possible like the one client that I've been working with, I say, hey. You're you're living in an extremely stressful situation. Every every hour. Seriously, you couldn't find 5 minutes or 3 minutes just to do some box breathing?

And and I and as we were talking, I says, it's not gonna come to you. You have to create time for that. I said, you created time to be in a therapy session for 50 minutes. You blocked it off. Do this for yourself a couple of times a day at least just to get yourself calm yourself down, realize where you're at.

Because if you don't do that, things are designed to create anxiety and grab our attention and we just spin out really quick because the limbic system just responds to stuff unless we start to strengthen a rational, judgmental part of the brain. And and that's where breathing exercises exercises can do that because that's where you direct it from. Alright. So we'd encourage you to put that practice into your life and begin today.