Embracing the Present for More Fulfillment and Connection

Unlock the magic of your words and transform your life! In this enlightening episode, we delve into the profound impact of internal dialogue on mental health and relationships. Drawing inspiration from Bruce Lee's wisdom, we explore how our self-talk shapes reality and uncover a powerful story of a couple navigating their journey through communication challenges. Discover practical insights on reprogramming negative thoughts to foster positivity.

Key takeaways include:
- The significance of internal dialogue in shaping personal experiences.
- How positive affirmations can influence relationship dynamics.
- Strategies for transforming stress into empowering energy.

Tune in to learn how changing your inner narrative can lead to lasting transformation. Listen now to harness the power within you!

#InternalDialogue #WordsArePowerful #MentalHealthMatters #PositiveThinking #BruceLeeWisdom #TherapyJourney #RelationshipHealing #MindfulnessPractice #ChangeYourThoughtsChangeYourLife #UnbreakableMindset #AdamantineStrength #PredictPositivity #SelfEmpowermentPodcast 

Good morning. I hope this podcast finds you well and healthy, and I hope you're looking forward to a great day. And the possibility of that happens changes the instant you start paying more attention to something called internal dialogue, what you say to yourself. One of my favorite all time quotes comes from Bruce Lee who says the following. Do not speak negatively about yourself even as a joke.

Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells. That's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself and you change your life. And I wrote that quote down in the front cover of a book called Unbreakable by by Tom Shea.

And he was in United States special force guy, was a was a navy seal. And, anyway, the the premise of his book has to do with this thing called internal dialogue. I have come across this same thought so many times, and yet it's something we all know, we all hear, and yet so many still struggle to grasp the reality and the power of what this actually means, what we say to ourselves. Words are powerful and the battle for mental health really is in our own minds. It's like the poet Milton said, the mind in and of itself can make a hell of heaven and a heaven of hell.

It's in our thoughts. What we think, what we say to ourselves, and what we write has power. I'm thinking of of, a couple that I've been working with in therapy having a a very difficult time in their relationship. They've been married about a year and been on the verge of divorce a number of times because they they just have not been able to maintain for significant periods of time just peace with each other. And it and I've been working with them each individually, trying to understand where they come from, what their issues are.

There's definitely some childhood trauma that creates a program in the mind and a perception of the world that just keeps spinning around and around. And my work with them is to try to help them each look at themselves and change some of the negative programs that they're running that that make conflict in their relationship. And after being on the verge of divorce, they both faced that decision. I just they both are going, we just don't think we can do this anymore. But then they then they both came to themselves and says, but I don't wanna get a divorce.

And so they came together, they were willing to try, and they had the best 2, two and a half months that they've ever had in their relationship. It was beautiful. It was wonderful. It was amazing. Said we never knew things could be so good because they each were looking inside themselves and when they felt triggered or felt not listened to or, you know, felt a little frustrated with their partner that they were able to manage their emotions and feelings and go, ah, this too shall pass.

It's alright. Not everything is gonna work out according exactly as I desire it to happen in a 1000000 different scenarios. Right? That happens in any relationship. But here is the one thing that I wanna point out that I heard from one of these individuals as I kept meeting with them individually.

And the statement was this. Oh, man, Gordon. Things have been going so well. This is amazing. And talking all positive, and then all of a sudden this is here the words, but I'm afraid it won't last.

I'm just worried that it's not gonna last. Because they looked backwards and remembered the some of the fights that they had, how bad it was. I'm afraid it's not gonna last. And the the one of one of the partners just kept saying this almost in every session. Even when things were going so good, I'm afraid it's not gonna last and yet it was going so well, we stopped meeting weekly.

K. Let's check-in once every 2 weeks and then once every 3 weeks. And then because I've been working with them a while to get to this point, and so so we started to spread it out a little bit. And then I recently got a call from one of the partners just saying it's it's completely fallen apart, and it's worse than ever. And the individual that said, I'm afraid it won't last, kinda spun out and just and just, well, blew up and things things went south even worse than they've ever been before.

And so the other partners, you know, talking to me and go, I just I just really don't know what to do. I don't know if I can do this anymore. And I go, you know, kinda makes sense what happened because it was predicted by the things one of the partners was saying. I just don't think this is going to last. Do you see the power of those words?

Of course, it could last. It it lasted when they were doing well. It was it was 2 and 2 and a half months. It was like it was like a perfect relationship, as perfect as can be with the normal ups and downs in life. But there was no screaming and yelling and swearing and all of that stuff and leaves stomping out of the house.

None of that was happening because they were able to focus more on the positive. And then this planting seed, I don't think it's gonna last. Well, keep planting that seed and then every time one would say, I'm just worried that this is not gonna last. It's like you're watering it. There's the interesting meaning of the word, you know, abracadabra.

Abracadabra is the magic word, right? It's an ancient word, and do you know the literal meaning of that word? Is what I speak is what I create. That's what it means. What I speak is what I create.

So and I'm looking at in myself as a therapist. I could have done a better job, and I'm learning even in the process. Even though I've been doing this many, many years, I should have said to the individual in our therapy sessions when the one kept saying, I'm afraid this won't last. I'd say, let's stop a minute. Let's take a look at that thought, and let's address that thought.

And please understand that when you speak this, you are planting a seed and the more now we can we cannot feed that seed and it will not grow and it will eventually die if you don't keep saying the same thing over and over again because you're predicting it. So, this this concept of internal dialogue, what we say to ourselves. Let me read that quote again by Bruce Lee and apply it to what we're saying. Do not speak negatively about yourself and I would say in this scenario with this couple I'm working with, do not speak negatively about the future. Do not worry about do not plant worry seeds.

Do not speak negatively about yourself even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference and it's so interesting and I've seen this so many times. With individuals in therapy sessions, when they're speaking of something positive, they're thinking of a good memory, their countenance shines, they smile, you can tell that they're at peace and then when they're addressing a negative thought, worrying about the future or remembering something negative, their physical body, their facial expressions, it changes instantly. You see the depression, you see the discouragement, you see almost suffering. You see the suffering.

Now, this one individual that I'm talking about in this in this couple that I've been working with, when when these words came out, you would see the countenance change and just like a suffering by just just giving attention to that thought. Anyway, back to the quote. Do not speak negatively about yourself even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy and they cast spells.

So again, this individual, I'm worried that it's not going to last, it's casting a spell, Predicting the future, it's not going to last. Our beautiful relationship with kindness, love, respect for one another, it's not gonna last. Words are energy and they cast spells. That's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and I would add, change the way you speak about your future, and you change your life.

There's a word that, Tom Shea uses in his book. It's called adamantine, a d a m a n t I n e. This is what this word means. A thing that is not tangible, but when it is consumed, makes anything unbreakable. And I would suggest that this thing is a thought that we give attention to.

But the only thing that makes one unbreakable is positivity, not negativity. We live in a world of opposition, yin and yang, light and dark, hot and cold, and and so forth. But if you want good things to happen in your life, you must predict them. You must keep working on a mental management system where you are able to recognize your thoughts by becoming more mindful and aware of what your mind is doing on a regular basis and then hitting the reset button quickly when negative thoughts enter. And here here's the thing we're dealing with.

If you understand that what I call the 2 part brain, the limbic system, the unconscious part of our brain literally drives 90 to 95% of our behavior and it's negative by nature. Because the limbic system functions on 3 basic premises. Its job is to keep us alive, so survive, and it does that by avoiding anything that's painful. And how does you deal with painful things? It searches for relief from those painful things through pleasure.

And so a little part in the limbic system called the hippocampus mainly involved in memory means that when negative things happen in our life, they become more salient, meaning more at the front of our focus because its job is to keep us alive. So it's always scanning the environment for anything that might put us in danger. And it and if and when we go through negative things in life, especially in childhood, it kind of can predict that over and over again if we're not mindful and aware and over come the physical brain by our mind, the intelligence, the intelligent force within us. These two things are different. The mind and the physical brain.

The physical brain is the thing that gets wired in a certain way through repetition that we think certain things over and over and over again and so neural networks in the brain just respond that way. We become habituated to that particular thought or action. Healing comes through a begins with a thought that I'm gonna change that into a positive direction. I'm gonna hit the reset button. We all are confronted with negative thoughts.

That's not gonna stop and so we don't need to be frustrated by that, but every time a negative or stressful thought comes, we just hit the reset button and go, ah. Whatever is confronting me, whatever doubt or fear, turn that stress into energy. Call it and because the body can't tell the difference between stress, stress and excitement. It's the same thing. It's the way stress is negative.

Oh my goodness. I'm not gonna be able to do this. I can't speak in front of a crowd. I'm I'm I'm not gonna do well on this test. And then you turn that negativity and because the same exact feelings in the body, but you use the word, I'm excited about the opportunity to grow and develop.

I'm excited about this thing. And then, you turn that and then you go to work, you just go to work and you focus and you say things to yourself, I am capable of learning. I am capable of changing in a positive direction. How exciting is that? Things are gonna go well for me.

I'm predicting a positive future. Anyway, I could, just talk on this subject for for hours, but here's the basic premise that I want to leave you with this podcast. What we say to ourselves, how we say it is very, very powerful, and if you wanna change your life, you start noticing the negative thoughts that you have, worry, doubt, and fear thoughts, and you switch them around to the opposite and change it into positive that you will be able to deal appropriately with whatever it is that you are faced with. That power is within you and nobody can take that from you. It's your job to save yourself.

It's your job to fix your mental health, and it begins with the power of of thought. Anyway, I'm just gonna I'm just going to close by reading this quote one more time. Do not speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn't know the difference. Words are energy, and they cast spells.

That's why it's called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself and you change your life, Bruce Lee.