The Power of Seeking Help: A Journey Through EMDR Therapy

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of EMDR therapy through the lens of a young man's journey. Join us as we explore the fascinating workings of the unconscious mind, the impact of trauma, and the strength it takes to seek help. Discover how EMDR therapy can unlock healing and provide relief from chronic nightmares and emotional distress. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step towards recovery and self-discovery.

In this morning's podcast, I want to tell you about an experience that I've been having with a young man as it relates to EMDR therapy and what is happening with him. The unconscious mind is just fascinating to me. Just absolutely fascinating. I've also been reading some information on hypnotherapy. When I was in grad school, I took a course on hypnotherapy and I always thought it's just kind of weird and kind of, I want to stay away from that stuff. It feels like manipulation. stuff. It feels like manipulation. And yet, the more I read about it and the more I understand it and experience things with my clients, man, maybe we're doing stuff like that all the time anyway. So this one hypnotherapist, the book that I'm reading right now, he just says, all hypnotherapy is in a sense, or he says, we're all being hypnotized all the time anyway. It basically comes down to these two ideas. You elevate emotion, some type of emotion, and then you give a suggestion. And somehow that does something in leading people in this direction or that direction. Hence, the need for acute awareness and mindfulness of what is it that we're listening to, what's elevating our emotions. So if you, back to the two-part brain concept, prefrontal and the limbic system, the limbic system is known as the emotional brain, and that's the unconscious part of the brain. And somehow there's something that's outside of our awareness that seems to be driving our behavior on a regular basis. So back to this young man, wonderful young man, but he's experienced some significant trauma. He went out of country to do some missionary work and just had a very, very challenging experience. He got very sick, contracted a virus, and just was a horrible experience. In a third world country, things didn't, I don't want to go into all the details to protect his confidentiality. If he were to hear this, and I haven't talked to him about sharing more details of his story, but a beautiful young man. Anyway, he came back from that experience and not doing well at all. fact, it was so horrific for him that his parents reached out to me and says, because they knew what I did. They knew I was a professional counselor. Says, we need to get him help really, really quickly. He's having horrific nightmares, horrific chronic nightmares, and he's not sleeping. And so he's not able to function. And so I've been meeting with him for the past couple of months. And his nightmares were pretty, pretty regular. And when I started meeting with him, he just looked horrible, just exhausted, no energy. And his future was in jeopardy. He's going, man, I don't know where I'm going to go from here. And the interesting thing with EMDR therapy, remember it stands for eye movement desensitization reprocessing, and it's about the bilateral stimulation of the eyes. And if you're not familiar with that, EMDR was developed by Francine Shapiro a number of years ago when she noticed when she was out on a walk one day when she was troubled with something and her eyes were moving back and forth as she was walking and she noticed a little sense of relief. And so she, anyway, that just started this process of her diving into it. And it's been well-researched, well-documented. Now there's training courses throughout the country. There's certifications. And I've attended those and started practicing EMDR probably five years ago or so. Anyway, I wondered through the process of time and a few clients that I've worked with about just doing EMDR on dreams, chronic dreams. And so this young man, his dreams were the same night after night after night. It was all about being stuck, can't get out, kind of what's called in psychological terms a double bind. Meaning that there's no, whatever solution you try to find, it has a negative thing to it. So with him, for a missionary, someone who's committed, I'm going to go out and serve people, was like, I'm going to complete my commitment. But when he was so sick, he couldn't complete his commitment, but if he came home early, then he wasn't keeping his commitment. Do you see the bind? And in the culture that he came from, it just, and so then that it even dives in deeper. Well, where is God in all this? Why would God not help me? I'm out serving him, and yet I'm sick, and I'm not being healed from my sickness, and I can't go home because then I've failed God. I've failed my family, failed my culture, so I have to stay. But as he stays in that environment, he spins out of control. You see the double bind? So anyway, parents finally said, you've got to come home. There's some other things that happened out there that, again, I'm not going to tell you the details right now, but they just weren't positive. And he came home and it just felt like a complete failure. They all stuck. Of course, his family is wonderful. They love him, accept him in, but they don't know how to help him. And no one in the culture really knows how to help him that he comes from. The wonderful people love him and accept him, but you see, the bind in his mind is, I'm not good enough. I've failed. God has failed me. I'm unworthy. I'm just not a good person. Anyway, so these chronic dreams kept happening. And so I did EMDR on them. So I met with them. Okay, when was your last dream? Okay, it was it was last night. What was the dream about? And they would tell me the details. And one dream would kind of go into another dream and another dream. And it's always about being stuck and can't get out. That was the theme of these. And so I would have him go back into the dream as much as possible. Remember what it felt like to be in that place. And then I would start moving my fingers back and forth. And I was doing this via Zoom, very effective via Zoom. I've been doing it for three years on Zoom and I've had tremendous results with clients. Anyway, so move my fingers back and forth. And so I'd do 30, 40, sometimes 50 eye movements back and forth. And then I'd stop and I'd simply say, what do you notice now? And his brain would come up with something. And he was very, very articulate. Anyway, this process worked extremely well with him. And after we do that for 30, 40 minutes, going from one thing to the next, to the next as his brain is trying to unlock and process things, and then he would simply say, all right, I don't, I don't feel that pain anymore. So it'd say things like, okay, when you're back in that situation, when we began the process on a scale of one to 10, how disturbing is that experience for you? It's like a 10 and some other protocols that we use. And then by the time we're done with the EMDR, I would say to him, okay, so how disturbing, let's go back to that original experience. When things stop changing, doing the eye movements, he goes, yeah, I feel okay now. And I go, all right, let's go back to that original experience how disturbing is that to you now on a scale of one to ten zero one zero doesn't seem to bother me anymore and you go okay and then we'd end the session and i'd say all right now we stirred some things up not sure what's going to happen in the next couple of days. Just be mindful and aware, be gentle with yourself. And then I'd meet with him in three, four days. Because when we began this, we were meeting a couple of times a week because it was pretty intense what he was dealing with. And I'd say, how are you sleeping? He says, yeah, I'm sleeping a lot better. Says, how are the nightmares? Says, haven't had any nightmares. And then I meet with him the next week. How are you doing? Sleeping a lot better. How are the nightmares? Haven't had any nightmares. Anyway, so that's been about a month now and he's never had another nightmare. So I ask you the question, how does that happen? How does that happen? And I've done that with another individual in the past, specifically where she had chronic nightmares, two or three a week when she would wake up in a literal panic and her husband would have to calm her down going, honey, it's just a dream. It's just a dream, but in full fight mode. And then, so I processed those and the dreams with her were the same type over and over and over again. So we addressed the dream with EMDR and the dream went away. And I'm still very close to this person as years have gone on. That's been 15 years ago. She has never in 15 years had another chronic nightmare of that particular thing, where before she was having three or four a week. So anyway, just want you to, if anyone's listening to this, if anyone knows of someone who is stuck in a chronic pattern, of someone who is stuck in a chronic pattern. And again, there are so many different forms of therapy. I can't say that EMDR 100% is going to work for you or any other type of therapy, but be an explorer. Try things. This thing I am 100% convinced of, that there is something going on at the unconscious part of our brain. That's where our dreams come from. I am very curious about dreams. And then I'd encourage you to strive to pay attention to your dreams. Write them down if you can, but pay attention to them. Don't dismiss them. Usually they're metaphors for things that are happening and the brain trying to, or some spiritual force trying to teach you, to educate you, to move you forward. Be curious about those things, but you be your own investigator of your own life. Try things. Search for answers. The end quest is to be emotionally and mentally strong and healthy as we continue to navigate through our challenging world, to be grateful for the things that you have. And if you are stuck in some areas, you just keep exploring different ways. And if anyone is listening to this, and if I'm still around by the time you're listening to this, my email address is innergold at gmail.com. I-N-N-E-R-g-o-l-d and and i i don't um i see as many many clients as i can per week um i don't know but for for by chance if anyone's listening to this and is experiencing something like this send me an email send me an an email if you think that I might be able to help you. And if I can, I'll do what I can if I have room in my schedule. I mean, I can only do so much every day, but I don't even know why I said that. But I just felt like saying that right now. So maybe this will reach someone out there someday who this might resonate with or might find someone who has trained in EMDR theory. And a couple of things I'll say about EMDR. There's different ways to do it. There's tapping. There's little buzzers you can use to go left, right, left, right. There's tapping and sound. I am an advocate of the eye movements. The eye movements, in my perspective, trump all those other things. Now, for a therapist to actually move their arm back and forth, I think that's why people use tappers and they use other things because it's hard. It's hard on the arm. That's truly what I believe. A lot of therapists go, I just don't want to wiggle my hand back and forth because it hurts my shoulder or this, that, and the other. But everything that I've ever studied about the brain indicates that the bulk of neural networks in the brain have to do with our visual cortex. Eye movements are more significant than any of those other things. That's my opinion because I've tried those things. We've had tappers. I of those other things. That's my opinion, because I've tried those things. We've had tappers. I've had other things, and I just think the eye movements, that's just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth, but I think eye movements are the most effective, and for most individuals, I think it's something that I would encourage you to explore if you are stuck and are looking for answers, because I believe it really, so much of it comes from the unconscious part of our brain that we do not have direct access to from the prefrontal. I mean, if I had a dime for every time someone said, I know I'm doing something I don't want to do, but I just can't stop doing it. Right? That means the prefrontal cortex is not connecting to the subconscious part of the brain. They're not joined up like a rider and a horse. The rider, the man, the woman is the prefrontal. The horse, the powerful beast is the limbic part of the brain. And trying to get them to join up means that there needs to be an understanding from the prefrontal of the language of the limbic part of the brain. part of the brain. Great analogy. I have a friend who works with wild horses, actually tames them, gentles them, adopts them. And then it's just fascinating to be in the ring with a wild Mustang. Man, but if you understand the language, you actually, that horse will listen to you. You can join up with it. And it's an amazing metaphor for gentling, using that metaphor for us, gentling our limbic part of our brain. We can't fight it, can't yell at it, can't command it to stop doing what it's doing. Every time anyone who's struggling with an addiction is sworn off at a million times, right? I'm never going to do that again. Lord, give me one more chance or this, that, or the other. And it just doesn't work that way. We need to learn to understand what the unconscious is trying to tell us so that we can make peace with it so the obsessions and compulsions will stop. And the MDR is something that I have found to be quite useful in that. Anyway, just wanted to talk about that this morning. I hope you have an amazing day. Keep another thing that can help rewire your brain and constantly be sending positive information down to the limbic system. Keep practicing positive affirmations. Okay. I am strong. My immune system is strong. I am strong. I am courageous. I am beautiful. strong, I am strong, I am courageous, I am beautiful, I'm enough, I was born for this day, etc., etc. Just keep working on those things over and over and over again, sending a message down to the unconscious part of the brain on a regular basis. Anyway, I don't want to get too far off the beaten path with that, but just anything we can do to strengthen that unconscious part of the brain and start to rewrite some old programs that have developed through our years of experience. Anyway, you guys have an amazing day. Make the most of today and strive to be positive one day at a time and realize there are things out there that can help you. Keep fighting. Keep searching. Keep looking for answers. Don't quit on yourself and don't quit on a loved one.