Your Internal Compass and How to Navigate Life

Are you struggling with the weight of your actions? Discover how to navigate life's moral compass. In this insightful episode, we delve into the profound wisdom of Marcus Aurelius and explore its relevance in today's world. Through a compelling narrative involving a young man's journey for inner peace amidst troubling behaviors, we examine the difference between guilt and shame, and how our internal compass guides us toward right or wrong.

Key Takeaways:
- Understand the distinction between guilt (a call to action) and shame (a detrimental self-view).
- Explore why rationalizing harmful behavior fails to bring true satisfaction.
- Learn strategies to reclaim control over life choices that lead to genuine freedom.

Tune in now for an empowering discussion on aligning actions with values and unlocking personal growth!

I'm thinking of a quote by Marcus Aurelius, one of the last of the good Roman emperors, where he says, if it's not right, don't do it. If it's not true, don't say it. So I want to talk a little bit about my experience with those who come for mental health treatment counseling as they're trying to unravel some of the challenges in their life. And I think about this concept of our internal compass and this statement by Marcus Aurelius where he says, if it's not right, don't do it.

I met with a young man yesterday who is troubled, but the question is, is his troubles? Because the consequences of his actions, he's gone out and done things that are immoral, participating in activities that he knows are wrong, and yet. So he comes in to talk to me because he's troubled by them, but yet at the same time. So he's seeking resolution, he's seeking peace. He doesn't want to carry this weight, but at the same time, hearing so much rationalization, justification, minimization of the actions that he participated in with another individual.

And I just need to reflect to him kind of, I've reflected in that statement, if it's not right, don't do it. And when you do things that are not right, there are consequences for those things. And you can try to rationalize, justify, and minimize them, but to no avail. The consequences are there.

Now, there's a difference between shame and guilt. Right? Shame, of course, is. It hits right at the core of who you are as a person. I'm a bad, unworthy person. I'm bad at the core. That's not healthy. Guilt is our internal compass that's troubling us deep in our souls when we participate in behaviors that are simply wrong.

And we as a culture have gotten so far away from this concept of right or wrong. If it's not right, don't do it.

Most of the individuals that I've dealt with through the years, they come seeking peace, inner resolution, without wanting to focus so much on the behavior that caused it. They're asking me, can you help me feel better without changing some. Some of my behaviors? And my response is always, I cannot do that.

There are eternal laws of existence. They just exist. And I'm not going to, you know, give my opinion on what all of those are. You know them, I know them. And I mean, you can just look, you can just observe people who are suffering, who are angry, who are vindictive, who are struggling.

There's not A sense of peace about them.

Ask yourself the question as you examine them and you examine their philosophies if you're listening to podcasts if you're watching YouTube videos and people's opinions if they're not giving the presence of peace confidence assurance and above all peace ask yourself the question what is that about?

We do.

I believe we do all have an internal compass that's able to direct us in things.

We know the difference between right and wrong.

It's like this.

The challenge with things that are wrong.

Like this guy wonderful wonderful young man that I'm.

You know I love him he's a great guy But the.

The challenge with participating in activities that are wrong is that they become what's.

It's addictive because they're so pleasurable.

And what happens is that limbic part of the brain brain gains power.

And it literally seems like it has the capacity that when you get in a state of bored being bored lonely angry stressed tired in the future it almost shuts down it hijacks the prefrontal cortex which is the braking system which is where our moral compass resides which is when we're triggered with something no matter what it is there's a capacity within us to say wait a minute stop let's put on the brakes if I move forward in this particular activity there are going to be consequences and the consequences in some instances are dire.

Now yes there's varying degrees of things We all know that I'm.

And I

I heard a story once of you know a stagecoach driver that was driving on a cliff You know there's a really difficult pass to get through And some were saying you know boy you're such a good driver because you can drive so close to the edge without falling off as if As if supporting him saying man you're just amazing And then another individual another stagecoach driver when he was questioned or comparing to that he says I'm completely opposite I stay as far away from the edge as possible

I would use that as a metaphor and I would suggest that as a metaphor for our lives we do know the difference between those things that are right or wrong There are some very powerful illusions out there of things that will satisfy these deep longing needs inside of ourselves But if you find that some of your behaviors are creating internal torments whether you're involved in a particular relationship like this guy he's acting out He hooked up with someone online And this is the thing that's stunning to me This is how did you meet this person? I just got online Got on one of these sites and texted her and reached out and she responded within one day They're hooking up One day One day doesn't even know this person and they're acting out sexually going one day So yeah and then and then you know I says you know and by the time he came to me he had met with her again and it just escalated and he went further than he did the first time

I'm hoping that he came in the therapy He came in to check in quickly when this happened That says boy I would really encourage you to stop this right now Let's see if we can put the brakes on right now Check in with me as often as you need to but don't keep going down this path It's not going to satisfy anything

And here's the tell So he went out and did whatever his limbic system no boundaries or more it just goes crazy and he can never get enough right And I go well did that experience work for you Did it Did it help you? And he goes no It tormented me Here I am before you I'm tormented But yet the tendency and capacity to go back that's when you know what's wrong If you're tormented by something then do whatever you can to seek the help that you need to stop those behaviors

And if you don't If you don't know where to get that help Then just man If you're struggling with something personal like that or with pornography and you're caught in a trap and it's a deep dark secret and you're ashamed of it and the guilt is so heavy and your mind is darkened and you don't know how to get out of it And you're afraid you can't take tell anyone about it Because if you live in a high moral culture whether it's religion You know Just send me an email Innergoldmail.com I n n e r g o l d mail.com Reach out for help I'll explain to you what's going on and how you can start putting some strategies in place to stop this behavior that's tormenting you

I'm telling you It's not going to do you any good I've listened to hundreds of stories throughout my professional career None of these behaviors are going to satisfy that deep longing inside of you

And the quest of mental health Is to be free Is to be in charge of your life It's to be able to direct your life proactively rather than feeling chained to something whether it's with drugs alcohol You know sexual activity Those things just don't work people They just don't

You can rationalize justify minimize You can use all those powerful defense mechanisms But at the end of the day Just be really really quiet and look in the deepest part of your heart and ask yourselves the question Is this right? Is my behavior really right for me?

And then no one can choose for you I mean You have your freedom of choice Which is your greatest gift But I'm telling you You're not free to choose the consequences And I'm not saying that to be mean or judgmental It's just the way things are It's like the sun rises every morning We don't stop that from happening

And just as the sun rises every morning and sets every night Certain behaviors carry with it consequences Look in your life Do an inventory And just change those things

And don't say it's impossible You've tried in the past You've never Today's new day Even though you might have slipped or fallen a thousand times in the past Get up today Do something different And take charge of your life The power is in you Where you really can free yourself of these things.