Addiction, Trauma, Recovery, and Embracing Discomfort

Struggling with addiction? Discover the power of embracing discomfort and transformation in this eye-opening episode. Join us as we delve into the core issues driving addiction, exploring how childhood trauma can lead to a relentless escape from painful emotions. Learn about groundbreaking therapies like EMDR and ART that help reframe traumatic memories and promote healing.

Key Takeaways:
- Understand the role of boredom, loneliness, anger, stress, and tiredness (BLAST) in triggering addictive behaviors.
- Discover how physical activities like yoga can release stored emotional energy from trauma.
- Embrace discomfort as a pathway to personal growth and long-term satisfaction.

Tune in now for an inspiring journey towards recovery and resilience!

#AddictionRecovery  
#HealingFromTrauma  
#EmbraceDiscomfort  
#GaborMateWisdom  
#ChildhoodTraumaHealing  
#EMDRTherapy   
#PhysicalActivityInRecovery   
#MindsetShift   
#OvercomingAddiction    
#MentalStrengthJourney    
#ResilienceAndGrowth    
#TheComfortCrisis     
#MindMatters 

Any addiction is caused by core issues of trying to get out of a feeling state. An acronym, one of the acronyms we use in recovery work is BLAST: being bored, lonely, angry, stressed, or tired. Whenever we're in one of those states, it's uncomfortable, and our brain is trying to get us out of those states.

In particular, those who struggle with very challenging childhood trauma issues are in a constant battle to get out of a feeling state. They don't want to remember being flooded with certain thoughts and feelings and some of the experiences that individuals have gone through. It's impossible to try to wrap your head around why an adult would do certain things to children. It's inhumane, incomprehensible.

In a wonderful book, a very powerful book that helps you understand the depths of what some individuals have gone through who have severe addictions is by Gabor Maté. *In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts* I believe is the title. It offers amazing insights. He spent many years as a doctor working with the hardest addicted clients, you know, with methadone, heroin addiction, and so forth. I myself have spent seven years in my career in methadone clinics and know the power of opiate addiction—wanting to get out of pain, wanting to get out of a feeling state.

So I was talking to one of my clients today about her struggles with addiction, and we were discussing this process of healing. First of all, it involves being able to go back, identify, validate, and bear witness to some of the horrific experiences in childhood and process through some of them to the best of our ability using EMDR therapy, ART therapy (Accelerated Resolution Therapy). That's a type of therapy that also accesses eye movements mimicking REM dream sleep, reaching the subconscious mind but using active imagination—actually going back and developing just using your imagination competing memories, changing the memories of horrible things that have happened in the past.

There is evidence that to the brain, the brain doesn't know the difference. So to the brain, it actually gets the message that this other thing happened. And so there's a competing memory and some relief seems to happen. But we're not naive enough to think that we can change what has happened in the past. The memories are still there, but with EMDR therapy it can resolve some of the deep emotional ties to things.

Then notwithstanding that, as we continue to move forward in life dealing with challenges and triggers and temptations of all sorts that promise immediate relief from pain, boredom, loneliness, etc., we come to this conclusion in recovery work—and this is why recovery is so doggone difficult: because it's learning to make peace with discomfort. It's like we have to embrace discomfort.

There's an amazing book called *Embrace Discomfort* by Michael Easter—highly recommend that—and another book entitled *The Comfort Crisis*. I love those books and their messages; they relate deeply to healing and recovery.

It's hard work. You can expect tremendous opposition. But when you learn to have the mindset of embracing discomfort instead of running from it, you get to have discomfort in your life because it is teaching you. All things—all experiences—are here to teach me and I will learn from them and turn them to my good.

Anyway, as I was visiting with my client today and talking about this, I said: see, in order for you to find healing and recovery you're going to have to learn to sit with these very uncomfortable moments and feel the craving. Every part of you wants that instant relief from that. And it's going to be super challenging and hard—but I'm telling you, you can do it.

You can sit with it, put your arm around it and instead of giving in to the drug of choice, go for a walk, go for a hike—go do something else—not to ignore it or deny it but just go do something difficult. Acknowledge the feelings but then be moving your body—something called self-efficacy—you've got to move; do something to be free.

See, trauma has a way—and memories of trauma have a way—of keeping us stuck and frozen. The body holds memories; it holds things in our cells in different parts of our bodies. That's why engaging the physical body in regular consistent exercise I believe is so helpful—moving constantly; feeling your body.

Yoga for example—stretching—I’ve had experiences where adult survivors of childhood trauma have experienced yoga for the first time. It was amazing how much stuck energy they were holding in their bodies. When stretching started happening certain ways they were flooded with emotions; started crying and weeping saying “What’s going on?” One individual said: “I have no idea but I’m releasing something.”

It’s not just a one-time release—it’s like your body is saying something; learning from it—to keep it moving; start practicing regular physical activities whether it's yoga or whatever else works for you on a consistent basis—to lead with your body; keep your body active and physical.

Regarding stages of change—you know the research on change: there are five stages:

1. Precontemplation: I don’t have a problem.
2. Contemplation: Hmm... I think I might have a problem.
3. Preparation and planning: I think I might do something about that problem.
4. Action: I’m actually starting to implement things; working out on a consistent basis; getting up in the morning reading recovery material or something positive for 15 minutes; doing certain daily activities.

Remember this statement: we do not rise to the level of our goals or dreams or aspirations—we fall to the level of our systems.

A system is something you put in place so that you will accomplish what I call small and simple tasks—which I call dailies—simple activities that we do that we know are in our best interest and we're committed to doing them.

This is where we need to make the signal stronger than the noise.

The signal is: "I do these things because I know they're in my best interest; I do them freely by my own choice; I'm committed." And I make this signal super strong by reminding myself of it.

Noise is all distractions that will come into play trying to stop you from doing those things—a million different things will come up because it requires effort.

Remember: The second prime directive of the limbic system—our survival system—is to avoid anything painful.

It's almost like we're set up to fail unless you learn how the brain works and take advantage by saying no—I’m going to embrace this discomfort rather than run from it—I get to do hard things.

Generally speaking when we do hard things there is some semblance of reward—we feel something in the process—and it's not so much about reward at day's end or trophies—it’s who we become in the process—the journey—that's most important.

Learning to embrace challenge and discomfort—I think—is a mindset we need to adopt.

The fourth stage is action; then fifth stage is maintenance where you try just maintain these daily actions.

Because we're not perfect we don’t do this perfectly—we will fall back into one of those other four stages—but we can pull ourselves together quickly learning embrace struggle as part of our journey.

I'm reminded of a story I heard years ago—it always made an impact on me—it always stuck with me:

A little boy was walking down the street; he looked down on sidewalk saw what looked like a cocoon alive with something wiggling inside trying desperately to get out—the struggle seemed intense—very arduous looking at it he said “Oh my gosh this poor little thing is struggling so much—I think I'm going try help.”

He reached down tore open cocoon—the butterfly flapped wings got out stretched wings flew up then soon thereafter came crashing down dead.

He was disturbed talking later with an older wiser friend explaining what he had done—the friend wisely told him:

“The butterfly died because you interrupted its journey—you see—the very strength needed for flight was being developed as it ripped out its cocoon—you can't take away that process.”

I want to use that as a metaphor:

I can't tell how many people told me they believe God doesn’t exist; God has given up on them; God has betrayed them; God doesn’t answer prayers—I believe this story is great metaphor for what’s really going on:

No look at creation seriously—you think everything was created just popped into space for whatever reason without intelligent force organizing things?

I just can't wrap my head around that even though things are mysterious—but I believe struggle has tremendous purpose—a tremendous purpose—to set worthwhile personal meaningful goals—and again—it’s not so much attaining those goals as who we become during process.

I remember talking today with another client about same thing—involved heavy issues trying resolve—but he said “When this thing resolves or that doesn’t think that's really going fix it.”

We talked about this—I know it's who you're becoming because once issue resolves 100% guarantee there'll be issue tomorrow different direction—that's how growth happens—how we become strong by looking at opportunities as challenges day-to-day whatever dealing with rather than running from them.

Anyway just want leave you these thoughts:

If you're feeling abandoned by God think about little butterfly trying get out cocoon—God saying “I know you're crying for help—I know you want me rip open cocoon get you out—but I've been doing this long time—I know what I'm doing—and you're going need strength in wings fly deal with what's coming down road.”

This process won’t end—I want best for you—I expect best for you—I know you're capable managing whatever dealing right now.

Again, let’s start focusing on embracing challenge, embracing discomfort, looking for long-term satisfaction instead of instant gratification—the hallmark of emotional intelligence, mental strength, the ability to delay instant gratification.

If you've been listening to these podcasts, one my favorite statements by Greek general philosopher Thucydides:

“Of all manifestations power restraint impresses men most.”

You have an amazing day!