Harnessing Agency, Mindfulness, and Attention to Transform Your Life

Feeling overwhelmed by self-doubt? You're not alone. Join us as we explore the intricate interplay between vulnerability, agency, and mindfulness in this introspective episode. Our host shares personal struggles with negative inner voices and explores how transgenerational trauma can shape our sense of self-worth. Through heartfelt storytelling, discover the power of attention and effort in overcoming mental barriers.

Key Takeaways:
- Understand how past experiences influence present-day challenges.
- Learn about William James' insights on focus and volition.
- Discover the transformative potential of faith as an intelligent force.

Tune in to explore these profound concepts that could change your perspective on personal growth!

You know, as I've been doing these podcasts for the past year and a half, I want to be a little vulnerable with you here and tell you some of the experiences as I'm working through these ideas of agency, of mindfulness, of free will and choice, and the wrestle that I've had in doing this.

It's like, it's extremely painful for me to do podcasts because I have such a negative voice or a myriad of negative voices or feelings that come to me. You can't do a podcast. You're not articulate enough. You don't make sense. Why would anyone listen to anything that you have to say? See, I wrestle with these things, and it's like, ugh. And yet. And so I wonder, where does that come from? What am I carrying with me from my childhood or from transgenerational trauma?

I know some stories of my mother. She carried this with her. And she told me that she was shamed by a teacher as a young girl—stood her up in front of the class and said, because she couldn't do a math problem, "Class, this has got to be the dumbest girl I've ever seen." Or that's a story my mom told me, whether that actually happened exactly like that. But that was the interpretation of my mom. And so she grew up with this inferiority complex, and yet she was the kindest, best mother for me but always had this feeling that she wasn't good enough carrying that with her. So I was carried in her as a child.

So I'm looking at my life, I look at my experiences, and I've never had any... My life has been completely different. I have had so many amazing experiences, wonderful experiences of being successful in pretty much most things I set my mind to do. And yet there's this powerful underlying feeling: I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I don't understand.

And honestly, from my experience, as I look back on my life, when I don't understand something, it's because I have no interest in it; it's not because I'm not intelligent enough to understand it. And yet this deep, brooding feeling of overwhelming—you’re not good enough.

So the idea of doing podcasts—I’ve wrestled with that—or creating a website or reaching out to Tony, who manages my website. I reached out to him a couple of years ago and said, I just have this feeling or wrestle with these two sides of myself. I just want to give back. Let's create something. Some of the things I've learned from the clients that I've worked with through years—I believe there’s some things that are helpful because they're constantly telling me, "Why don’t you put this stuff in a book?" That's why I wrote Language of Recovery or the book Recovery Simplified.

This stuff is so helpful because I've had so many experiences of people coming to me and saying, "Why isn't everybody using kind of these principles?" I go, you know, just the fact that someone would say this is really helpful or even four or five people saying this material has literally altered the course of my life and has helped me—that's enough for me.

And so I want to be able to give back. But still at the same time, I wrestle with this overwhelming feeling keeping me away from clicking on and doing this podcast. Like every single one of these podcasts—I don't even know how many we have up now—60, 70? I've just had to sit down and through the power of will.

And maybe it comes across clearly that I'm struggling in some of the podcasts but there's a part of me that is willing to do that—to be vulnerable—because you just... I got to keep working on it; got to keep striving; striving to pay attention to can-do thoughts: No, I can do this; and then just kind of chill a little bit with a healthy sense of humor—not take myself too seriously.

And I'm not a victim of anything—even if I carry some of my past trauma from my mom and my ancestors—I'm trying to acknowledge it and work through some of the things that I've... Some of the stories I've heard of them—some hard things—just as the same as you and your life. I'm sure we all have those things.

And tending to use my agency to focus on what I can do and just get engaged in doing something even if it's not perfect because it never will be—just move, do something, act; strive to create something in a positive way.

So according to William James, the father of psychology—listen to a couple of things he said:

"But the amount of attention an object or thought receives after it has caught our mental eye is another quality question." So again: back to—I have a thought or an impression: now do a podcast; you can make a difference to somebody; someone's looking for some answers that you might have.

That thought pops into my mind—and then I'm barraged by a number of what I call enemy thoughts: Ah, you have... No! You can't do that; you're going to be embarrassed before people; you're not smart enough to do this thing anyway.

So back to James: "It often takes effort to keep our mind upon the particular thought." We feel that we can make more or less an effort as we choose: "I'm going to do a podcast for me; I'm going to do this thing."

And then James says: "If this feeling be not deceptive," then "of course everything effort contributes co-equally with cerebral conditions to the result; though it introduce no new idea," it will deepen and prolong the stay in consciousness of innumerable ideas which else would fade more quickly away.

Sorry—that was pretty wordy—but it just means that when you're trying to stay focused on a particular thought or course of action you have a bunch of other thoughts coming in trying to take you out of that course.

It is often a matter of but a second more or less attention at the outset whether one system shall gain force to occupy the field and develop itself and exclude the other—or be excluded itself by the other.

The whole drama of voluntary life hinges on the amount of attention—slightly more or less—slightly less—which rival motor ideas may receive effort.

Now this is really interesting: effort may be an original force and not a mere effect—and it may be indeterminate in amount.

So when he says effort may be an original force—the very existence of us as individuals—this idea of mental force is that notwithstanding what has happened in my life; notwithstanding experiences I've had in my life—I accept the fact they have imprinted me to behave certain ways and think certain ways.

But there is something else inside me that supersedes all this hard wiring—that if I can tap into this—I can change and become a different person than I am. I can change some things that I want to change in my life.

And this goes back to the principle of agency or faith.

Now listen to this—I just love this statement one individual made about faith:

He said faith—we're not sure what it is—but "I believe it's the intelligent force in the universe that causes things to happen."

Faith: an original intelligent force in the universe that causes things to happen.

When we tap into it then it can begin the creation process.

And remember that faith is "the substance of things hoped for" or seen in the mental picture of the brain—and not in the physical world yet—that we are all in the process of creating.

And so again—it goes back: life is a matter of attention—and focusing attention on one idea; one possible course among many bubbling up in consciousness—is precisely what we mean by act of volition or mental force or mental focus or mental energy or mental exertion.

And there are also books I've read about what athletes do—not just athletes—but they practice visual imagery in their mind as they create in their mind's eye what they want to achieve in physical world—and they picture it in such vivid detail their brain is wired as if it actually happened.

You see—the brain cannot tell difference between thoughts repeatedly and vividly imagined—and something actually transpires.

So that's why we have to be careful what we fantasize about; what we're allowing taking our attention—and why?

Conscious attention especially on what we want become—as we're striving creating ourselves through positive affirmations over and over again—giving attention certain thoughts and feelings inside ourselves—then we become creators.

But unless we become aware what we're thinking moment by moment—we basically go into automatic mode.

And as has been highly researched—we have according limbic regions brain—a negativity bias—that means generally we're looking for negative things confronting us threatening survival.

And so thinking positive creative things—almost obsessive thoughts—are necessary create things.

So look at those who made tremendous difference world—I’m thinking Phil Knight—in his book Shoe Dog—I read his autobiography—and you know why he succeeded creating shoes?

He was obsessed with it; obsessed with idea—it didn't matter whatever distractions came his way; he was obsessed with shoes.

There were thousand distractions; many different things wanted destroy any reality him creating Nike—but he was obsessed with it.

You look at Steve Jobs and Apple Computer—what he created—you know why he created?

He was obsessed with it; obsessed with it!

He had thing around him called P—the reality distortion field—they said he came into room said: okay—I want this happen X amount time—and people say well impossible—and he’d say do it!

His energy was powerful because his thoughts and faith were powerful—it actually created things!

He influenced others actually change behaviors accomplish impossible tasks!

That's amazing! That's amazing!

But if you really think these people—and those are just couple stories—you check other stories people admire—you'll find same thing:

They kept their thoughts focused—or attention focused on certain train accomplishing particular thing!

You think Michelangelo painting Sistine Chapel—he’s basically saying same thing:

“Every block stone has statue inside—but it's up sculptor find it.”

He also said “If people knew how hard I worked gain mastery—they would not think wonderful at all.”

It was tension; attention; attention; attention helped him create!

So we look Sistine Chapel—we see picture oh my gosh guy absolutely amazing!

He’d say “Because worked super hard! My attention on this—I let everything else drift by until created work.”

So question then:

What can you become? What can I become?

If we choose through own God-given gift agency become whatever desire—or create whatever want create—it simply boils down how much attention give—and how long stay on train?

When get off train allow mind rest—can keep train in station so when choose get back on train certain train thought hop right back on train keep going next day?

Because need rest once while—we can't stay 100% engaged all time—we need sleep every night—but at least getting train thought alignment overall values—and understanding accepting reality how susceptible distracted wandering roads—

Just thoughts ponder again—

As wrapping up podcast—I have voice coming “Wow! You're not really leaving them anything! Give them something specific!”

I go—you know what? Don’t have all answers but hang onto one thought:

Whatever give most attention longest period time—that’s what begin change towards manifest world!

It's direct proportion prolonged mental efforts exertion—

Be patient process realizing things take time—but have faith truly desire—in time if don't get unhinged if not working fast enough—

Just be patient but focused effort—

Especially if struggling addiction issues before acting behavior stop realize absolutely 100% power within refrain act free won't—

To refrain act no less act than commit act commit one right!

Again—as mentioned podcasts—a couple favorite quotes then end podcast:

Thucydides Greek general philosopher “Of all manifestations power restraint impresses men most.” Meaning no free won't: “I will not do this thing.”

Marcus Aurelius one greatest powerful men Roman Emperor said “Pleasures when unrestrained become punishments.”

We cannot just do whatever want find peace within souls—

However whatever creative process created us—I experienced those who binge indulge pleasures world are most miserable humans—

They struggle suffer don’t know what do but keep doing more more more trying absolve pain creates more pain—

Way free yourself pain restrain activities really causing—

Look own life examine self trust awareness piece can let know exactly need intuition—and believe you'll find it!

Okay carry on.