Facing Fear, Finding Action: Lessons from Jeremy Renner’s “My Next Breath”

What if the secret to overcoming fear is simply taking action? Discover powerful insights from Jeremy Renner’s memoir, "My Next Breath," and real-life mental health journeys in this inspiring episode. We explore how our brains wrestle with anxiety, why facing fears head-on can transform your life, and the importance of compassion when supporting others through depression.

Key takeaways:
- Learn Jeremy Renner’s method for dismantling fear: codify it, face it, and act.
- Understand how knowledge defeats anxiety and fuels personal growth.
- Hear moving stories about patience, self-compassion, and pushing beyond comfort zones.

Ready to challenge your own fears? Tune in now for practical advice that just might change how you approach life’s daring adventure!

I recently finished a fantastic book, and I'd like to discuss it with our community. It's the book by Jeremy Renner, the actor. It's a memoir entitled *My Next Breath*. As I've worked with individuals over the years in the mental health setting, I've helped them understand how their brains work. And again, the model of the two-part brain involves a higher-functioning brain, specifically the prefrontal cortex, which is rational and logical, and then this powerful, impulsive, driven part of our brain that's instinctive, surviving by avoiding pain and seeking pleasure.

And so it's almost as if we're constantly wrestling against this, our efforts to do things that are proactive, intentional, and positive, because of the fear of failure. And so, one of my all-time favorite quotes by Helen Keller is extremely credible due to the life she lived. If you don't understand where she came from, just Google Helen Keller and listen. Listen to her story of overcoming being deaf and dumb and so forth. And this is what she said:

*"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."*

And then that brings me to what fascinated me about this recent book written by Jeremy Renner. I'm not sure if you recall what happened to him. He's an actor who played in one of the Bourne movies, *Bourne Legacy*, and then appeared in one of the Marvel movies. But he had a horrific accident where a snow cat, a big snow plow that is used in ski resorts and clears vast areas of snowfall to clear the roads anyway, ran over him, and he died for a brief moment. Talked about that experience and what that was like. And what he saw was so amazing that he no longer fears death at all. Death is not to be feared.

And so if death is not to be feared, what is it that we can get so wrapped up in in this life, and be afraid of fear and anxiety, so much stress that people are dealing with? So I'm asking you to take a look at what it is that you're afraid of. What are your fears? Perhaps consider the example of one actor who has become highly successful in life. And it's how he got better from this horrific accident, and his body healed.

He had conversations with his body when it wasn't responding the way he wanted it to. He would start a discussion with different parts of his body and instruct them on what to do. Fascinating stuff. Once again, we return to the power of internal dialogue.

But this is what Jeremy Renner, a template for his life that he even learned as a child. This is what he said:

*"I made a conscious decision to codify my fears and face them one by one. I would write each one down, then work to face it as best I could until I could check it off as no longer a fear or less powerful, at least."*

And I'm just going to read a couple of highlights from his book that impressed me. Another thing he said,

*"I realized from an early age that information was everything. I realized knowledge defeated anxiety every time."*

So, in other words, it's not what happens to us, but it's how we react to what happens to us. It's a whole theory, called acceptance and commitment therapy, in the field of psychology, that is centered on this very idea.

And it reminds me of the stoic quote—I believe it was by Epictetus—who says,

*"What disturbs men's minds most are not events, but their judgment of events."*

It's how we react to what we are facing.

And then a thought pops into my mind by Marcus Aurelius: 

*"Impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."*

So instead of allowing fear to paralyze us—which I have seen happen to many individuals—they are paralyzed by their fear.

And so Jeremy Renner—what a great example—a model for us is well: He would write down exactly what he feared.

So I'm encouraging you to do the same thing: Write down what you're fearing and then go to work dismantling that fear by gaining information, experiences, and taking risks.

Like Helen Keller said,

*"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."*

For example, have you wanted to start a conversation with somebody, but you're afraid? Write down what you're so scared of: Afraid of being rejected? Afraid of feeling silly? Afraid of looking stupid? All of those things are just irrational; they keep us stuck and frozen—and just acting on something—just acting—is so powerful.

And it's like when I was in the bookstore and I just picked up this book quickly—I read the first couple of pages—and that's why I bought his book.

I love his philosophy; this is what caught my attention in his book—and it relates to what we're discussing when we're dealing with fear—identifying our fears, dismantling them, and taking action.

This is what he said:

*"I believe that the most important thing in life..."* 

Okay—so what do you think? He said,

*"I believe the most important thing in life—the most important thing in life—is to take action. Feel everything; consider everything; read; think; ponder; cogitate—oh that's fine—but you have to do something! You have to commit to action wherever you can! Don't only think about things! Don't just feel things! Take the first step—and then the next—and then the next! Do it! Otherwise nothing's going to change; nothing's going to get better for you or for the people around you! In the end—it doesn't actually matter what you think or how you feel! Everyone is a mass of feelings and emotions—some good; some bad—but emotions never built a bridge or fed the hungry or saved a life!"*

So think about that: It's taking action on the things that we're afraid of rather than allowing them to paralyze us.

But everyone's got to figure out how to do that their way—but a place to start is to write down the things that you're afraid of—and then start putting down some possible actions that you can take—to confront those fears as far as gaining information.

So if you're afraid to talk to people—if you're afraid to reach out and try to develop new relationships—take a risk and do something! The first thing you can do is just smile and say "hi." Well—just do that! And then—and then—and then be willing to risk being awkward—and throw yourself out there—and start a conversation!

Anyway—it’s something that I've noticed so much in those that I work with who struggle with anxiety and stress—depression—addiction issues—we're always trying run from something—and I'm telling you—you can't run—we cannot run from things—life—we choose our pain: There's pain self-mastery discipline; then pain regret not taking chance.

I've worked with couple individuals—one particular amazing young man—amazing young man deals intense anxiety depression—he hasn't held job four years —completely capable doing it (well—I better be cautious how say)—but if look him physically he was bodybuilder—first competition ever entered as bodybuilder took second place—and never did again; He ran triathlon kid father; dad said yeah let’s do this—you know mini triathlon...and so was like think 11 12 time—in age group...his age group think was—you know 10 15 something like that...he won triathlon light years...he was old crappy bike...some other kids competing against were all spandex all professional looking attire...like they're even starting age 10 11 12 13 14 whatever...I'm going become triathlete...anyway beat every one them—and he's never run another triathlon since then; He's never done another bodybuilding competition since then...

See—the fear has such tremendous capacity—but fear falling short—not being able to maintain—that has paralyzed him...

So anyway—I’ve been working with him number years—for two years absolutely did nothing—basically stayed room—that’s how deep depression was—stayed room 24 hours day—I mean had support caring parents doing everything could get him medical help—you know therapy—they reached out—you know doing everything can every single angle...

Then there just comes a point where—I don't know—it goes back to a statement:

*"When the student is ready the teacher will appear."*

So everyone situation like this unless know someone who place like this there's no way to possibly understand talking about—you may say well—you know just need snap kid together man—you need tell grow up—you need trust me working individual couple others like—it goes nowhere quick—as a matter fact more negative impact...

This has to be super careful because there are so many philosophies out there that advocate for (and big proponents of embracing discomfort, pushing beyond limits, and trying to become the best can be)—but cannot push individuals too hard because they have witnessed situations where it has happened...

Without understanding extreme patience compassion individuals will take their own life because pressure—they already feel bad enough themselves...

Like one individual talking about when confronted parents going come on isn't time find job isn't time pull out—it simply makes situations worse—and says don't you (this client) says don't you think already feel bad enough myself—I already know exactly feel—I already know want me do—just telling have no capacity right now do—that's depth depression—that's depth mental illness—that almost incomprehensible—we can't wrap heads around it...

Medications aren't working...therapy sustaining life but not seeing much movement—but able to create a safe environment, just listen, just love...

And has individual amazing parents who just patient kind—I know would talked down many many people—but here's interesting thing: This young man last three months started turn corner because so much love patience shown him—is starting have little more faith world because had some horrible experiences where taken advantage other people treated poorly extremely sensitive treated poorly loses faith humanity says don't want deal people don't want talk people don't want relationships can't trust anybody...

Then, working on things, saying, 'Hey, life is either a daring adventure or nothing—and there are wonderful people out there. You've got to take a risk, it's worth it, throw yourself out there, do your very best, and one day, time...'

Everyone has to be super careful; don't set ourselves up too much. Think about it: does life ever reach a point where everything is blissful in every way? It just doesn't exist that way...

Problems exist, opposition exists; let's keep moving forward...

And if we were—it’s also another excellent book called *Indistractible* by Nir Eyal—is name E Y A L—and believe that's pronounce—it’s like have something called hadonic adaptation meaning can never fully satisfied any length time anything there's something within us humans doesn't allow us do because think about if ever delighted things would happen well nothing—we would stop—we would stop moving forward—we would stop risking—we would stop trying advance trying understand things trying do hard things...

Anyway, I just want to leave a thought again: looking at fears, writing them down, acknowledging your fears, and then doing something about them—you can do it, just try, the world's not going to end...

I remember story Albert Ellis developer something called rational emotive therapy—and he said don’t know afraid talking women—and set out park bench—I was afraid talking women set out go park just start conversation ask women out coffee asked number them most course thought oh man guy weird no no no but think were like think asked 20 women out two three said yes wonderful experience them nothing horrible happened—I mean respectful when said no not interested okay—but did something extremely hard nothing horrible happened learned from goes oh man it's what's going on mind—the fear thoughts keep stuck immobile

So here's the task quest invite for the week: Write down something you fear, then take action. Report yourself, learn from the experience, regroup, and then repeat the process to regroup.

If you do like Jeremy Renner actor says

*"I have found information knowledge can dismantle fear every time—or at least make less powerful."*