Rediscovering Honor, Integrity, and Fidelity in Marriage

When betrayal shatters a marriage, how do you rebuild trust and honor in your relationship?

In this heartfelt episode, we dive deep into the meaning of honor, integrity, and fidelity within marriage. Drawing from real-life counseling experiences—including a gut-wrenching story of infidelity—the conversation explores the emotional fallout of broken commitments and why true intimacy requires more than just physical connection. We challenge outdated excuses for cheating and urge spouses to reevaluate their roles with compassion, respect, and responsibility.

Key takeaways:
- Honor means respecting your spouse beyond physical needs.
- Infidelity causes profound trauma—healing takes time and support.
- True intimacy is built on vulnerability, not instant gratification.

Tune in for honest advice on strengthening your marriage through integrity—and discover why honoring your commitment matters now more than ever.

This podcast is for married spouses. And I want to talk about the word honor and integrity and keeping yourself faithful in your relationship with your spouse. Yesterday, I had one of the most gut-wrenching hours as one of the clients I'm working with just found out that her husband has been cheating on her, having an affair with a much younger lady. And it's impossible for me to describe to you the betrayal, the horror, the shock. Now, our whole world has been shaken, and you know what his excuse was.

So this is a great woman who—going to have to change the story a little bit to protect identities—but let's just say this is a woman who put her husband through school. She worked hard as she was having physical issues, a lot of physical problems, was always there emotionally and intimately available for her husband, doing what she could because she loved him, to take care of him. And she worked her tail off so he could get through school. He comes out with his professional degree, has an amazing job making good money, and it's taken a toll on his wife as she has continued to work through the years. She continues to work, but she's worn down. She's a little older, you know, in her 50s. So her body's changing a little bit.

And her husband's all like—I don't know if he's going through some freaking midlife crisis or whatever—but now he's been shacking up with a girl his daughter's age in her mid-20s, and he's in his mid-50s. And you know his excuse? As his wife was saying, "I try to be there intimately with my husband, but I've been having some physical problems." She's had a number of surgeries and stuff. And when she caught him—found out by text messages on the phone—his excuse is like, "Well, you weren't there for me. You kept pushing me off." And I'm like—are you kidding me?

Men, do you think that your wives are an object? That you own them and that they should be available for you intimately whenever you request it? That's just wrong. That is wrong. It's inappropriate. To honor your spouse is to treat your spouse with respect, with dignity, with understanding, with gentleness.

And I've always said this through the years in counseling couples: look, no one has the right to get in your bedroom. But anything—if you're requesting a partner do something that makes them feel uncomfortable—that crosses a line. You should never do that.

And man—come on man—there's no excuse. When she told me that I go, "What? That's what he actually said to you?" That he's justifying that and he's like having this midlife crisis. So he's really into physical fitness and trying to make sure that he's all this, that and the other. He thinks he's the suave guy; this naive 20-, mid-20-year-old girl gets all hooked up.

And there's another part of me also that's looking at these women who are getting engaged with these guys in this activity—they're just as responsible. So you women who are doing stuff like that—that's wrong also; it's just inappropriate.

And the devastation that happens from these fleeting moments of intimate activity in all their varieties—which is happening all over the place in our society today—I’ve also met with a couple of other fairly young clients in their mid-20s and 30s; they're hooking up with people online. They can get online and hook up with someone within a half hour.

And I go, "What? You actually—you don't have any idea who you're hooking up with? And do you realize that when you're hooking up with this person you're taking from them every single disease or interaction that they've had with anyone ever in the past? And if they're doing that with you don't you think they'd be doing that with other people all over?"

People—you need to stop that stuff! This is wrong! And I understand addiction—but get help! There is help available when you're feeling bored, lonely, angry, stressed, tired.

Yes—we have this need for intimacy; we want to feel connected—but when you're participating in illicit sexual activities—do you know what you're running from? You're running from true intimacy; you're running from developing a real vulnerable relationship with another adult; being able to wrestle in the appropriate way with challenging feelings and stuff like that.

Have you ever heard the statement: "You can never get enough of what you don't need because what you don't need will never satisfy you?" I have worked with clients before that have had 30 or 40 different partners—and when I'm meeting with them—you would think: oh my gosh!